Do the most successful people sometimes lose their way?

By asking you:

What would it take for you to lose sight of your own professional identity?

What would it take for you to move away from your true purpose?

What would it take for you to move away from why you do, what you do?

Some might find these rather peculiar questions and I can completely understand why. But the reason I ask them is in the hope that you will take a minute or two and contemplate these questions.

The reality is they can be answered rather easily, if you don’t really want to think them through. And then again, someone with very strong convictions might look at these questions and simply answer them by saying nothing would take me away from who I am, what my purpose is and what I believe in.

But the truth is there for you to explore and the truth is really what I am asking you to ponder.

But why?

What has caused me to pose these types of questions at you?

Well, my motivation and inspiration comes from many different situations, people and opportunities. The inspiration for these questions comes from what is now commonly referred to as Reality TV.

But before we get to that, let me ask you a further question if I may.

How much influence would fame and fortune have in regards to the three questions above?

Would national TV, instant recognition and a wad of money cause you to start changing your approach to your profession?

OK, so back to my inspiration. The inspiration for these questions comes from the world of reality TV, but more specifically from two different men:

Dr Phil McGraw
Dr Drew Pinsky

Now before we go any further, I need to say I don’t know either one of these gentlemen personally, but from what I can see, they both seem exceptionally well qualified and highly proficient in their chosen professions. But both of them, in my opinion to a certain degree, have lost their way in the name of reality TV.

However, as with most things that end up like this, I don’t believe either one of them has made this happen through one or two situations or decisions. From my perspective, it has been a little change here, something different there and before long, both of them are somewhat removed from where and how there experience and skill should be utilised.

Here I go telling Dr Phil and Dr Drew how they should run their professional lives and their TV shows. This should be interesting?

Let me take you through the situations.

Dr Phil partnered in a company named, Courtroom Sciences Inc. (CSI), a trial consulting firm. He was asked to work on the Oprah Winfrey v Texas Beef Group case. During the preparation from the trial, he tells Oprah a few home truths.

Information and insight that by her own admission, was very difficult to hear. But Dr Phil, being Dr Phil, didn’t care he had a job and a responsibility, and he knew what needed to be said and done and he did it. Oprah wins.

Next thing Oprah introduces us all to Dr Phil McGraw through her television show. At this point Dr Phil is still Dr Phil. Next thing Dr Phil is a regular on the Oprah show. Still to a certain extent he is Dr Phil, perhaps not everyone’s cup of tea. But he does his thing with an element of skill, authority and presence.

He must be doing it well because Oprah, through her production company and with the fanatical support of the public, the Dr Phil show was born.

Now this is where things start to change dramatically. All of a sudden Dr Phil is not just an ex psychologist, but a media personality, a TV show host. He is no longer just answerable to his conscience and his professional integrity. He is answerable to a investors, producers, TV ratings. He is required to have an endless line of stories and approach.

And through all of this evolution is where I see the change. Personally, from what I can see, I think Dr Phil (the original version) is very good at what he does. But what he is doing now, has taken him away from his true strength.

It is not that he is not good at it, but I’ll bet Michael Angelo could do a pretty good job of painting my dog house if I could get him to do it.

The same scenario with Dr Drew Pinsky.

Celebrity Rehab is a TV show that allows us to see Dr Drew in action once again he and his team are great at what they do. But then comes the spin off Sober House.

Now I know it is important to see the reality of what happens past a rehabilitation programme. I know there comes a time where these people have to start to take responsibility for their own actions and for moving to a better place in their life

But when someone is telling you that they are scared of leaving rehab because they don’t trust themselves, I would hope that common sense prevails and therefore you wouldn’t set them loose. But then to basically leave them to their own standards, even after they have told you they don’t trust themselves and then fill the next two episodes of your next show highlighting them going back to their old ways.

Not sure that is the right thing either?

Where does the TV producer role start and stop and the medical practitioner and carer kick in?

Before we go on I am the first to recognise there will be many influences that I am not aware of that lead to a lot of what we are talking about here and what we see as a finished TV programme. But in the end, both men (and anyone else for that matter) have the opportunity to say whether they want to be part of it or not?

And so do you.

My point here was not to belt up Dr Phil or Dr Drew and I said I have the utmost respect for the talent, experience and skill of both men.

But I used them as an example. An example to highlight how easy it is for you, me or anyone else to slowly slowly, inch by inch move away from what we are good at or from, what we know to be right or away from our true purpose if we lose sight of who we are, what we are about, what we do and how we do it.

Consider the three questions above again. Get a mirror that works so you know the real answers and if ever the situation arises, you will not compromise your true self, purpose or passion for anything.

The Journey Continues!

You have been known to at times get upset with clients and from what I hear, you have on the odd occasion actually sacked a client or two. Is it true and if so, how come?

Talk about being put on the spot and to be honest, not sure where you got your information from but here goes.

Simple answers are yes and yes.

I do occasionally get upset with clients. Especially when they are not holding up their end of the partnership. If the one sided involvement continues, I will let them know it is not working out. I will give them a chance to pick up the slack and if not, I am out of there.

To explain this approach in a little more detail (and not to justify my reasons) and to give you and insight to the process I follow, please let me introduce you to what I call The Transfer of Involvement.

Although you may not remember the experience, I have no doubt you are aware of it?

The experience I allude to is when you were being taught to walk. In the very early stages of the experience, chances are there was not a lot of motivated involvement by you.

Someone was holding your arms up above your head and basically walked you around the house or yard or wherever it was that provided the room and safe environment necessary for you to find your feet.

Next step was, that although you were very unsteady on your feet, you could stand. How long for, well that is an entirely different subject. But as you went through the trials and tribulations of standing upright for the first time by yourself, not far away was your helper ready to catch you as you endeavored to take that first step.

Then as we follow the order of your progression, we get to the third stage. This is where you started to take those first steps. One foot slowly, ever so slowly in front of the other.  Once again following your every move and only one step behind you was your helper ready to aid you whenever and wherever necessary.

Eventually, you were able to walk on your own. Problem solved.

A few years later you awoke one morning to be presented with a bike. Oh boy! A bike, fantastic. Only one problem, haven’t got a clue how to ride it.

Then from nowhere you helper reappears. Three steps to bicycle success commences:

The first step is for you to be seated on your bike. The helper walks you around and around the back yard, just so you can get used to sitting on the bike and learning what a seat feels like. Learning that balance is easy with a helper and near impossible without.

What is it you do with those crazy things that go around and around in circles under your feet?

Stage two the helper decided its time for you to start taking some responsibility. They hold off on the pushing part, they get you started on the peddling part. They back off on holding you completely upright, you get a bit wobbly. Somehow you manage and to a certain extent, to stay upright. But the thing is you probably don’t see the hand of safety holding the back of the seat and in the process stopping you from completely toppling over.

Third step, bicycle riding 101. You are off and riding - yee hah! But there right beside you and running like an Olympic marathoner is your helper making sure they do what they can to make sure you keep going. Your skill builds, your confidence soars, you go further ahead, and as this all unfolds your helper slowly, slowly steps back and leaves you to your own enjoyment and experience. Mission accomplished.

I think by now you get my point. That in each of these experiences there has been a Transfer of Involvement.

It starts out with your helper doing most of the work. It then goes into the second stage where the level of involvement is more of a 50/50 split. And then into the third stage where you are doing most of the work and the helper job to a certain extent is nearly complete.

Now think about how many of life’s experiences follow this Transfer of Involvement.
scenario:

• Attaining an education

• Learning to drive a car

• Being the new guy in a band

• Living away from home for the first time

• Raising your first child

But how has this got anything to do with this months question of:

You have been known to at times get upset with clients and from what I hear you have on the odd occasion actually sacked a client or two. Is it true and if so how come?

Well the answer is simple. In my past job as a professional sports coach and in the role I currently play, my job is to make those I work with independent of me. The process to do this is The Transfer of Involvement.

That is; depending on what the situation is or what the requirements of the client is, chances are we start off our relationship with me doing most of the work. That is; finding out what is going on and why. Understanding the client, the situation and the desired outcomes.

Me putting together a strategy of how we can get the client to where they want to be.

We then get to the stage where there is a more even level of contribution of thought, effort and involvement. That is the work commitment (whatever form that takes) and involvement of the client is increased, so they start to take more responsibility in getting to where it is they want to go.

We then get to the final stage, that is; where the responsibility, the level of workload is more weighted to the client. This doesn’t mean I do nothing, but it does mean that I am working at making them more independent.

The time and method to get to this stage varies greatly from person to person and situation to situation.

But here is the key for me in this journey.

If and when we get to this final stage and we begin the work necessary to get through it. If I am working harder at getting things done, than the person I am working with, then I try to resolve the imbalance, but if for any reason other than me this doesn’t change, I am out of there.

Basically Bill helps those that are prepared to help themselves. The Transfer of Involvement.

The Journey Continues!

From what you are witnessing first hand, what things are changing, or what differences can you see in the world that you don’t think are necessarily for the better?

I will do my best to condense my answer down to a number of areas that I continue to see on a day to day basis. In doing so, I hope these are relevant to you and your world?

To begin my reply, I would like to point out that in a lot of the situations, I continue to see and experience is that in many instances, change does not necessarily mean progress.

So with that said, let’s take a look at the three areas I have selected.

1. Quality v Convenience

I’m not about making things harder, and at the same time, I am not about compromising quality either, but the quick fix formula seems to have filtered into so many aspects of modern day life and the convenience factor is not too far behind it.

Each and everyone of us has the opportunity, the right and the ability to make our own decisions about what is good/bad or right/wrong for us and what we want.

But are we slowly, slowly continuing to drift more towards the convenient as opposed to the quality?

Let’s take a look at few situations so you get an idea of where I am coming from when I ask that question:

For a long time we would not find it out of place to stand in line to order a sandwich or the like for lunch. You walk up, stand in line, have a conversation with someone around you and then when it is your turn you place your order.

The person you have placed your order with either personally or passes the order onto someone else, who then takes quality fresh ingredients and puts together a meal that you take great delight and nutritional benefit from devouring. All in all, it probably took five minutes from order to chow time.

These days things have changed in the world of takeaway food and changed on two different fronts in the name of convenience. On one tangent, you don’t need to walk up to place your food order, in fact chances are you don’t even have to get out of your car.

All you do is just go into the drive thru lane, stop at the walky talky post, place your order, drive through to the next window, pay for your order and then drive to the last window and there it is a quick convenient meal.

On the second, the food that gets handed to you through your car window is mass produced and pre prepared to provide you with this convenience.

The down side to this little scenario is the nutritional quality of the food. The upside is the convenience.

Before we move on, I think it only fair to give some credit where credit is due. Some of these fast food companies have tried to expand their menu and in the process, increase the nutritional content of their meals. Are they there yet? Well, that is the part that is and will continue to be open for debate.

But let’s move on:

As a teenager I would spend many hours going to HI FI shops listening to new turntables, high end valve amplifiers, reel to reel tapes being played through precision speakers. The result?  A wonderful listening experience.

These days though it is all about 8,000 songs compressed to the daylights, so they can fit onto a hard drive stuck in the middle of the latest mp3 players. To add to the convenience, you can listen to your music through the little in-ear phones that come with the player. Convenient yes, quality of listening experience; not so sure on that one.

Just so you know, everyone in our house, me included, have some type of mp3 player. But the difference is that we have wav files (an uncompressed format) as opposed the compressed file format of mp3. And we all have a set of quality headphones. But to overcome the convenience and to be able to go back to a certain level of quality, there was a hefty cost involved.

Convenience has also filtered into our communication process as well. There has been an ongoing evolutionary process and some would say, technological breakthrough that is at the core of this.

What am I talking about?

Face to face communication or at the very least, a telephone call is almost a thing of the past. Talking to someone either in person or by phone, old school, out of date, inconvenient, slows me down too much.

These days communication is done in a special language that takes no time to deliver. It is done at the push of some buttons. Today’s communication is all about txt/sms or emails.

Now I am all for innovation and progress, but only if the new is better than the old and as I said, it is everyone’s individual choice as to wether what has eventuated in each of these situations is better or not.

However, I think we can all agree each of these situations (and many more like them) are certainly more convenient, but on the other hand I cant help but think as the level of convenience has increased, the level of quality has been reduced from what it was in the past.

2. Rights v Responsibility

Political correctness, equal opportunity, anti discrimination were all set up for legitimate reasons and with the best intentions at heart. Unfortunately for some individuals, they were being put in a situation where their individual rights were not being observed, recognised, respected and upheld and they were basically being told to forget their rights and start accepting a certain direction to do things that basically were unfair and unjust.

In these situations, I can completely understand how and why someone would play the ‘I have rights’ card. I would do it myself and my guess is so would you.

But what about the other side of the coin? Think about how many instances in today’s society where someone will trot out the old ‘I have rights’ line (and they would be right) when they are being questioned as to why something that is their responsibility, has either not been done or has not been done to the standard required.

Think about situations where it isn’t even a responsibility, it is just the right thing to do and people still play the old tune of I have the right.

Think about the situation of a younger person sitting on the public transport whilst an older woman stands. The reality is the younger person does have a right to sit, they paid the same price for the opportunity to utilise the transport and all it has to offer.

But somewhere in all of this doesn’t responsibility, values, and manners hint to the fact that at the very least, the seat should be offered to the older lady. Doesn’t common courtesy, do the right thing in this instance overtake the right to remain seated?

For some it is not about courtesy, manners or the element of kindness. To them it is just another opportunity to walk away from some level or type of responsibility because they are protected by either their rights or by the fact that no-one has the right to ask them to do it another way.

Just today in the middle of writing this article, I had to go down to my local Bunnings store (a national hardware chain). A beautiful autumn day, pretty much predicts that there will be people everywhere at the mall where my local Bunnings store is situated. And today was no different, the prediction, once again proves to be correct. Not a single car park in sight. But today is our lucky day, just as we drive into the car park, a car pulls out we slip straight into the park and we are good to go.

But here is the kicker in this story.

As we walk out of Bunnings, a car pulls up and parks in the disabled car park, right next to the main entrance to the store. One disabled park in a thousand or so car parks and the guy that parks in the disabled car park, jumps out of his car and walks straight into the light shop next door. This guy was no more disabled than I am.

The attitude shown was not about rights, it was about doing the right thing and doing things right. It is about a responsibility to do the right thing by others.

Because in the end, it shouldn’t be about ether rights or responsibility. It should be about an individuals character that guides them to do what is right. The funny thing here is that a lot of this rights erasing responsible behavior is not done by bad people. It is just the situation or what is at stake that brings out the worst in really good people.

Think about people getting ready for the boarding call on an airline with unassigned seating? Think about before the doors open on sale day at your local department store.

These situations for whatever reason bring out the worst behavior in really good people and as it does, responsibility goes out the window and rights are at the forefront of behavioral influence.

But where does the need for this type of behavior come from? As I said the majority of times, this behavior, the need to play the rights card, call it what you will, doesn’t necessarily come from bad people, it comes from good people behaving badly.

Does it come from previous experience. And therefore:

Does it come from the mindset of kill or be killed?
Is it a case of do unto others as I have had done unto me?
Does it reflect a survival of the fittest mentality?

To be honest, I don’t know why people do these things. I don’t know why they think this way. But I do know at times like those I have described, and the attitudes and behaviors we have outlined, I don’t like what I am seeing.

3. Learning v Education

Bill, I go to school to learn. Yeah, so does everybody else in your school. Not really, you see most people go to school to learn enough to pass an exam. I go to school to learn, I expose myself to as many different subjects and experiences as I can. I am interested in passing exams, but I am more interested in learning.

This was part of a conversation I had with one of my coaching clients. A young 16 year old girl that I was working with to get through the trials and tribulations of the teenage years.

It was this discussion that really got me thinking about how much emphasis there is on learning these days, but at the same time there is corresponding decrease in the area of education.

Now, when I say education, I am not talking about 2+2=4. I am talking about the opportunities for kids to be educated about the things that will probably not be included in a school exam, but will be right at the heart of the hardest test of all. The test of life.

Education on such topics as:

• How to survive in a tough environment

• How to take responsibility for your own actions

• How to get knocked on your backside and get back up and go harder the second time around

• How to make the right decisions

• How to work with others but never lose sight of who you are

• How to remain true to yourself

These are all areas that we all need to not only survive, but to prosper in an ever changing world.

But how did we end up in this position? How did we loose sight of the need for both education and learning?

Not sure, and to be honest I am not into pointing the finger of blame, but I think that it would be progress to go back to the future. That is true and expansive education of our children as opposed to just teaching them enough to pass an exam.

We are failing them by not showing them the true realities of life. We have to get away from some of the things that are slowly creeping into our approach to the youth of the world. Things such as:

• Marking a paper in red pen will hurt their self esteem.

• Grading an exam will set them back for the rest of their life

• Competitive sport will not make them a win at all cost ego maniac

• Expectation that comes with school is probably nothing to what life will expect of them.

• Reality TV reflects the real life of about 0.1% of the population.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying learning is bad, but I am saying that there needs to be a mixture of learning and education to fully prepare a teenager to the full gamete of exams that life is going to throw their way.

Once again, it is not about showing them gloom and doom, but it is about letting them see, understand and prepare on how to deal with realities of the world, and how to enjoy everything that life has to offer, the good the bad and the ugly.

The Journey Continues!

In the early editions of The Full Nelson (not sure which year) you used to include some little pointers about what we should include in our life. Can you share them with us again?

The points amounted to 120 in total, a few too many to outline here. But here is a sample. If you would like the complete list then drop me an email at:

totalperformance@totalperformance.com.au

• Take a genuine interest in those around you

• Take the time to participate in and enjoy the things that make you happy

• Do little activities that take you out of your comfort zone

• Take some time to understand your children’s views on life

• Help someone less fortunate than yourself

• Every so often take a day to be with yourself

• Help others define what is important to them

• Be an active participant in your own life

• Do as much face-to-face communication as you can

• Have a smile and some enthusiasm when answering the phone

• Do something to help someone else everyday

• Make sure your actions speak as loud as your words, in the correct way

• Make a positive contribution to the environment that you live, work and play

• Have a kind word to say to someone each and everyday

• Whatever you do make sure it is your best effort

• When you are wrong admit it and take responsibility in the situation

• Spend time with individual members of your family doing the things that they want to do

• Smile and greet everyone you come into contact with

• Associate yourself with positive people. People that make you feel good about being you

• Each day do something that is going to bring you closer to achieving your goals

• Acknowledge and thank people that have helped you throughout your day

• Live your dreams

• Nurture friendships

• Laugh at yourself

• Understand the negatives but think and work towards the positives

• Give praise

• Accept constructive criticism

• Have a true sense of fair play

• Be open minded to change but don’t drop your standards

• Help others help themselves

• Don’t ask of others that which you wouldn’t do yourself

• Look at people when you talk to them

• Think first, talk second

• Don’t hold grudges instead make amends

• Learn from everyone and everything

• Attempt to do something you have never done before

• If you don’t succeed at something make sure you learn from it

• Understand that sometimes it is better to say nothing

• Tell the truth

• Stand up for what you believe in

• Take the time to think about what you are doing and where you are heading

• Remember that your character is the blueprint of your life

• Laugh at others jokes but never their dreams

• Instead of yelling at the dogs to stop barking, throw them a bone

• Recognise and reward those that deserve it

• Continue to out think the opposition

• Remember that not getting everything you want is not such a bad thing

• Create your own definition of success

• Smile and say thank you with reckless abandon

• Appreciate and respect the opportunities that you have

The Journey Continues!

Can you give me some of the lessons you have shared with your children as you have prepared them for life;

The Nelson children circa 1990

I will answer this question in two parts;

1. Lessons From My Father

Ernest James Nelson (1926-1997)

My father was big on the element of character and for as long as I can remember, he did what he could to instil these principles in me. Dad passed away in 1997 but there isn’t a day goes by where I do not think about these insights he shared with me. Of course, I have done what I can to pass them onto my children as well.

• Allow yourself to look in the mirror and be open and honest with what it is you see

• You are bound by the element of truth in all you do and say

• Stand up for what you believe in, firstly with yourself and secondly with others

• Give credit where credit is due; don’t take responsibility or accolades for something that is not truly yours

• Understand that the ongoing development of you as a person is dependent upon firstly recognising that you do not know everything

• Judge your behaviour against your standards and your performance against your potential

• Truly believe that you possess the potential to do and to be anything that you desire. That is if you are prepared to work hard enough at it

• Be the master of your thoughts and the slave of your conscience

• When it comes to commitment, be committed

• When it comes to manners, be well mannered

• When it comes to principle, be principled

• When it comes to ethics, be ethical

• When it comes to standards, be strong

• That which you will give by following these rules of life, will be returned 10 fold

• Have the confidence, the passion and commitment to live your dreams

• Character is not something that just happens by itself. It must be constructed and constantly refined

• Character is something you must take responsibility for creating

• Character is developed and nurtured from within

• If you are truly committed to the essence of your character, you will continually strengthen it from your continued commitment towards it

• Reputation is what others think you are. Character is what you know you are

• Life rewards action

Jae Nelson’s inside forearm

2. Things I think are important
As an extension and in a different way, here are some of the insights I continue to share with those that I come into contact with.

• Change the stories you tell yourself about you

• Focus on things that have the greatest long term advantage

• Practice your core values in your behaviours daily

• Constantly increase your levels of self awareness

• Don’t waste time. Get in early and get it done

• Don’t maintain the rage or carry grudges. Get over things and carry on. Don’t carry excess baggage

• As the boy scouts say be prepared, know your environment, know yourself and keep your eyes and ears open so you can adapt when and where it is necessary

• Listen to what your head and heart are telling you. Deal with the issues, but don’t get caught up in stuff that doesn’t matter

• Don’t hide your passion

• Don’t be apologetic because you want to excel at something

Kye Nelson

• Be prepared to think before you act. Plan what you need to do and plan carefully. Measure twice, cut once. Understand this and you will save time and effort

• Start with the end in mind. Know the purpose of everything you do, let others know what you want to achieve, stay focused on your goals

• Just do one thing at a time and do it really well  Multitasking for most part, is overrated

• Through your planning, know what it is going to take to get the job done. Don’t start it because you have high emotion, start it because you will take pride in it’s completion

• Trust your gut. It pays to listen to your intuition. If you feel something is wrong, don’t ignore it. Take the time to investigate,analyse and understand

• Respect the limitations of time. Understand how long things will take and develop efficiency

• Take time to recognise and appreciate others, hand written notes, take them out for a meal, publicly applaud

• Know what to say and how, to whom

• Have a focus on building momentum in everything you do

• Be prepared to make decisions

• Improve the communication with those around you, don’t leave things that need to be said, unsaid. Remember what doesn’t get said only gets worse

• However as you are doing this, never insult anyone’s intelligence by over stating the obvious, but at the same time never assume anyone knows what you are talking about

• Listen to understand. The more you understand, the better position you are in to help you and them

Elle Nelson

• Don’t let your ego get in the way of a good decision

• But at the same time don’t let someone’s ego stop you from telling them what they are about to do, is a bad decision

• Two heads are only better than one when they are heading in the same direction

• Know yourself and get a mirror that works

• Know what opportunities can or could come your way and be ready to make the most of them

• Know what you are good at and what you are not

• And know, when and where to use the difference

• Understand the best way to see the future, is to create it

• Life is not there to fulfil your wants and needs life presents you with opportunities that when you make them, or take them, you will fulfil your own wants and needs

• Pace yourself through life. Time is important, but not as important as not rushing into things and getting them wrong

• But at the same time, remember he who hesitates is lost

• Near enough is never good enough

• Compromise is the beginning of the end. For as soon as you or someone else compromises, neither one of you will know when to stop

• Pay attention and read the signs. Think about how may times after the fact you realise the signs were there and that whatever has happened was going to happen, you just didn’t see it coming

• Don’t get caught up on things that are really not important. Distinguish between what is urgent and what is important

• Know when you are not where you need to be and take the steps necessary to get you to where you should be.

• Indecision is the theft of opportunity

• Don’t mistake activity for achievement

• Know that trial and error is the way most people learn, you are no different

• So learn from your mistakes, but understand if you make the same mistake more than twice it is no longer a mistake. It means you are an idiot

• Don’t define your self worth by what you do, define it by how well you do it

Jae Nelson Big Dayout 2009

If you want the complete list of Things I believe are important to get you through life just send me an email to: totalperformance@totalperformance.com.au

The Journey Continues!

Last year you made some suggestions on what to do as a leader when things get tough. The information you presented was directed at the areas of Organisation, Leader and Team. Can you expand a little more on what ‘as a leader’ we should be doing in tough times such as these.

To start off with, here is the original post (That does contain some of the information below) that was mentioned in the question above.

And here is my answer as it specifically relates to Leadership - When Things Get Tough:

Be Visible

One of the worst mistakes you can make at a time like this is not to be seen. Now it doesn’t really matter why. You can justify this by saying you are in a strategy meeting or you are doing this or that, or you are attending to something urgent.

When things slow down, the people that are with you and around you, want to see and hear their leader every single day and, in most cases, more than once a day.

An unreasonable request? Absolutely not!

Control Outer Emotions And Deal With Inner Emotions
When things slow down and are not going the way you would like, there is usually a corresponding set of emotions that comes into play.

Anguish, nervousness, lack of confidence, anger, frustration, and resentment - all of these and many more are quite common at these times.

The key is to deal with these internal emotions. Get some advice, another perspective, new information; create opportunities and methodology to deal with your inner emotions and make sure you do it away from the scene that is causing them.

Do what you have to do, but make sure you do not just leave these emotions be. Deal with your inner emotions and make sure they do not transform themselves into outer emotions.

You know, the outer emotions that are represented by the snappy reply, the over-reaction to little things, the body language of a stressed individual, and the facial expressions of a worried person.

Silently deal with your inner emotions and outwardly you show the emotion and body language of a leader who knows how to deal with adversity.

Maintain Correct Body Language

Have you been watching the new hit TV series Lie to Me? Well if you have, you will realise that what you are really saying does not necessarily have to come from the spoken word.

That your actions, your facial expressions, you stance, your walk, all of this and whole lot more, will tell the true story of how you are feeling and where your head is at.

Those you lead will at most times, and especially considering where things are currently at, will be carefully and diligently observing your every move to ascertain where you are at so they can gauge to some degree, where they should be.

So be aware of every little thing you do so that the messages you are sending to those you lead will help them get to where they need to be.

Be Relentless In Going Back To The Basics
Whatever you do, don’t try and rectify the situation by making the solution look difficult. It is at these times that simplicity is your greatest ally.

Many times a situation will look as though it requires an intricate solution; but in reality, it is the basic steps everyone knows that will usually lead you to where you need to be. Don’t fall for the trap of believing that detail and intricacy means success.

Once you have looked at all the basic steps, and you realise that no matter how you look at it, this situation calls for a solution that is a little more intricate, then break it down and make it look basic.

If you can’t make it simple then make it easy to understand.

Don’t Over React To Adversity

In times of prolonged difficulty it can become very easy to take on the victim mentality. Why does this always happen to me? I don’t deserve this? Why cant I get a break? And so on.

It is important at these times to realise two very important concepts:

• The reason things happen is because of something you did, or didn’t do

• That no matter how big the problem seems, there will always be a way forward

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you purposely went out of your way to make this happen, but a lot of times the reason we are in certain situations is because we didn’t recognise the signs that told us what was about to happen.

So if and when you get to this point (facing adversity) the sooner you take responsibility for getting there, the sooner you will put yourself in the mindset to over come the obstacle.

But while ever you over act and continue to blame everything or everyone else for where things are at, the longer you will stay in that place. You can only change what you acknowledge.

So don’t get drawn into the world of the victim, don’t over react. Take time to understand why you are where you are,and when you have take a step back, draw breathe and start devising a plan to move forward.

Go To The Experience That Has Been There Before
Confidence comes from demonstrated ability and what you have done in the past should give you the confidence to take the next step that is required to take both yourself and those you lead forward. Tough times or not.

Einstein said it best “A problem will never be solved thinking at the same level at which it was created.” Use your experience of the past to think at a level that will allow you and those around you to over come any problem, to deal with any situation and to move forward with the mindset of being the master of your own destiny.

Just go back and use the knowledge, experience and skill that has served you well in the past to create and even brighter future.

Don’t Let Pride Get In The Way Of Making The Right Decisions

Of course when the tough times come, there will be a level of both responsibility and accountability directed your way. That is the way it should be. But don’t let you get in the way of the best way to go forward.

Make decisions that are in the best interest of all and not about what is in your best interests. Those that you lead will respect you a whole lot more when they see you put your pride away and make a decision that is there to benefit others.

Communicate More
Keep people informed as to what is going on and why. Continue to let people know what you are doing and why. Remember when the though times come, it brings with it a great deal of uncertainty.

That uncertainty can be about many things:

• Future direction
• Survival strategy
• Security of tenure
• Element and degree of change

It is at these times as a leader you can bring great relief and security to those that you lead. Communication is a great way to clarify direction, alleviate fear and revive and redirect motivation.

Increase Your Exposure To Positive Influences

In the face of adversity it takes a special person to come out the other side and it also takes exceptional people to consistently support that special person as they deal with troubled times.

We all have people around us and at times like these, it is important in the first instance to recognise these exceptional people and second, to use them in an appropriate manner to help you get through the tough times.

It is very common when things get tough to withdraw into ourselves and communicate less and these are two of the worst possible moves we can make.

In tough times you have to increase your exposure to positive influences and not reduce them.

Now, when I say positive influences I am not talking about the people that although they mean well, they just tell you what they think you want to hear.

I mean the positive influences that see the situation the way it is, but through their experience and their understanding of you and what you do, they will give you perspective that will allow you to see the best way forward.

Understand The Position And Thinking Of Those Around You
Tough times bring out all sorts of different thinking, observations, beliefs and actions of people. As a leader it is vitally important that you recognise where each and every person is at when times are tough.

Knowing where they are at is one thing, but knowing why they are at that point is even more important.

Understand their current:

• Beliefs
• Thinking
• Standards
• Actions

Because all of this will allow you to understand where they are currently at, and more importantly, why.

Once you have this type of information, you will be in a far better position to be able to lead them through the adversity and bring them out the other side all the better for the experience.

The Journey Continues!

Are there any specific areas or signs you look for when you first start working with a team or organisation?

Great question and the answer is yes, but the reality is we could spend the entire year just working our way through the individual things I look for.

But to get the ball rolling one of the first things I look for are indicators of the standards. I want to find answers to the question of ‘is this a team/organisation that wants to be great or are they OK with just being good?’

Here are some of the signs I look for under the tittle of:

The DNA of Organisational Mediocrity

Unwillingness to change

Inconsistency

The preparedness to compromise

Ineffective communication

Accepting good as the standard

No ongoing personal or professional development

Taking the path of least effort or resistance

Non recognition of the benefit of difference

The approach of one size fits all

Procrastination

The person at the top is the only one with the experience to solve problems

Everything is decided by consensus

Lack of urgency

Non recognition of individual responsibility

Action is never taken

Lack of accountability

Non recognition of use by date

The things will just happen attitude

Why does this happen to me/us?

Everyone is good, but no-one is working to be great

Decisions never get made

Leadership by title alone

Selection by psychological profiling

Doing it in a way you are familiar with rather than doing it the best way

Relying on talent alone

Short term fix

Mistaking activity for achievement

Progress is difficult to define or measure

Denial

Disregard for the basics

Doing the same things over and over, but never asking why

Goals/outcomes/ expectations are constantly changed before they are achieved

You use a window instead of a mirror to explain lack of performance

Creativity and innovation are best pursued by others

Mistaking training for development

Things done by convenience rather than correctness

The Journey Continues!