Why, hello there! I know it’s been a while, but I’m still here and still have the travel bug. I have been on a few trips (France, USA, and USA in that order), but this is the first one in a while that I was fully in tourist mode. And let me tell you, it was delightful!

This was a whirlwind of a trip – five and a half days in the southwest of England plus a little dip into London – and it was at a beautiful time of year. Grey much of the time, but with a chance of sunshine and a guarantee of loads of flowers in bloom!

Mostly going to post photos for you, maybe some light narration. How does that suit?

First off, I flew into London then drove down to Southampton. I booked two nights at an old manor house hilariously named The New Place Hotel. The idea was that I could visit some of the locations in Southampton I was there for (family connections) but not be too far away from Portsmouth, where I was going to meet up with my old pal, Jools (formerly of “Trains On The Brain”). Bonus was not paying city prices for a soulless cookie cutter hotel.

Really wasn’t sure what I would find, having never booked a manor house stay before. For the most part, I was pleasantly surprised. I mean… I had been hoping to stay in the actual manor house, but apparently that isn’t how things work around here. That’s the restaurant and bar.

Things are no doubt cleaner than they were in olden days, what with paving, proper bedrooms, hot running water, heat, etc. Still had a bit of a sad face when I realised I’d been relegated to the stables. Again. (OK, not really “again” again. I have literally slept in stables before while on foal watch. It’s not so bad, really. I love horses!) But all was not lost. The bar serves food and I was a bit peckish, so after setting my bags in my room, I headed to the manor house.

It had been rather damp on the way down from London, but as I was sitting in the bar, the lowering sun snuck beneath the clouds and lit up the grounds in that lovely, magic hour sort of way. The rain had stopped, too, so I decided to explore the Woodland Trail, as marked on the adorable map. I had picked it up on a whim at check-in; so glad I did!

It was muddy after all the rain, but fresh feeling and so full of flowers! Daffodils in spring are one of my favourite things. They were abundant, as were wee, tiny buds on trees and the songs of what sounded like a thousand birds hopping through the branches above.

If you’d like a quick listen to the sounds of the birds, just click play.

The latter part of the trail looped through what appeared to be laurels. I could easily be wrong, but they looked an awful lot like laurels I’ve seen in Cork. Interestingly, and probably in a strong argument in favour of native flora, there were no birds singing in the laurels. It was eerily quiet. Which, you know, appropriate considering the view of the front gate at that hour.

And that was really it for the evening! I went back to my room, looked over the photos, and got to planning for the next day.

Hope your springtime (or current local season, depending on location) is lovely!

The post Southampton Spring appeared first on TourAbsurd.

Winter view from the Cap de Creus peninsula

Where will you go today? Perhaps a stroll through the wind-sculpted, slate gray hills. Bring your camera to capture the demure sprigs of flowers punctuating the landscape. Enjoying a cappuccino at the restaurant next to the lighthouse provides stunning views and further photographic opportunities as you rest and prepare for your return hike.

Maybe the rush of cycling through the challenging twists and turns of the roads of Costa Brava is more your speed. They are a year-round favorite of professional cyclists worldwide. Lance Armstrong himself owned a house for several years in nearby Girona for precisely this reasons.

Beautiful Romanesque bridge in Besalú

Mas Tallaferro in Besalú

Paella cooking in Besalú

Selection of cheeses at Divinum Restaurant in Girona

Celler Martin Faixo in Costa Brava

If a less ambitious outing is the order of the day, winetasting at one of the local cellars may appeal. Spanish wines, stealthily added to more famous French blends for generations, have been coming into their own in recent decades. From full-bodied reds to delicate, fruity whites, from playful rosés to Cava – the up and coming trendy cousin of Champagne – Spanish wines run the full gamut of flavors and complexity.

If eccentric decor and surreal art strike a chord, do not miss the opportunity to visit Portlligat, home of the famous painter, Salvador Dalí and his wife, Gala. Recognizable from afar by the distinctive egg sculptures adorning the roofline, the former residence of the master artist is a study in practicality and whimsy. Now a museum, the house began as three fishing huts, purchased by the artist over the years and gradually transformed into an abode as surreal as his paintings.

Sa Vista master bedroom, Portlligat, Spain

One of the many surreal rooms in Dali's house

Dovecot at Salvador Dali's house

Infinity pool overlooking the bay at Portlligat

Numerous hotels and self-catering options are available in Cadaqués during all seasons. Seafood restaurants, bakeries, and cafes await. For a true exercise in luxury, consider renting a property like Sa Vista, a modern Spanish Villa overlooking Portlligat. The sleekly minimalist style of the surrounding hillsides perfectly complements the decor. Dalí’s house can be seen from the deck and several of the guest rooms, while the master bedroom commands a panoramic view of the water.

During the summer months, the bay is filled with boats of every size, seaborne travelers taking advantage of the clear waters, remote location, and spectacular landscapes. The cooler months attract fewer visitors, allowing for a quieter, more personalized experience, not to mention low-season discounts on accommodation. The food and wine, however, taste just as fabulous at any time of year. Indeed, the uniquely Catalonian gastronomic event, la calçotada, takes place only in the winter and is not to be missed.

Calçots ready to grill

Calçots cooking

Calçots fresh off the grill

Calçot sauce and olives

Peeled calçot

Rather than sunbathing and splashing in the sea, the cooler months lends themselves to introspection and intimate gatherings. The stark beauty of the area brings out the poetry everyone carries hidden away inside. A destination recommended for families, writers, solitude-seekers, and lovers, Costa Brava has it all.

For more information, visit the Costa Brava tourism website:
https://en.costabrava.org/main/home.aspx

Disclosure: lodging, meals, and tour fees were provided courtesy of
Charming Villas Catalonia and the Costa Brava Girona Tourism Board.

This post originally appeared on Examiner.com,
a news site which ceased trading in July of 2016.

The post Art and luxury during Costa Brava’s low season appeared first on TourAbsurd.

2013 St. Patrick’s Day Parade, Cork, Ireland

This post might not be as cheerful as you may have come to expect from me, though as I write it I am feeling a bit punchy. (There is silliness to be had, never fear.) Although I am hopeful and safe, I felt compelled to go out and photograph the streets of Cork during this time of limited social contact. I did adhere to social distancing protocols, didn’t go into any shops, and backed away from the one person who approached me. (She was asking where to find a toilet; I pointed her in the right direction, but apparently it was so urgent she had to go down a side alley to relieve herself. Yuck, but oh well. On any other St. Patrick’s Day she’d have been one of many.)

My feeling is that this time should be documented. There is definitely going to be a Before and an After with this pandemic, the long term implications of which we are going to feel for decades. I’m hoping it wasn’t a fatalistic urge that drew me to go out, but rather something keen and noble and journalistic. Guess we’ll find out!

In the last few years I have avoided the parade because crowds are one of my least favourite things. I’m an introvert, so that’s part of it, but I’m also petite. Crowds mostly mean a sea of elbows to be avoided, with towering strangers blocking out the sun. In a word: frustration. Even away from the parade, there are drunken litterbugs shouting and singing off-key tunes while stumbling between pubs. By the end of the day, there are discarded top hats and Guinness cans, tricolour feathers, and green sequins littering the gutters. Every year I fight the urge to run out in the streets while shaking a fist and yelling at tourists to get the hell off my lawn. (Note: I don’t have a lawn. I’m also a former tourist.)

The detritus of drunken revelry

I live in the South Parish, so I did a loop from there to the city centre and back again. Things are about to get echoey and dark, so brace yourselves. Might be a good time to settle in with a cup of tea or even a flask. Get melancholy and write some reflections on the foolishness of mortals afterwards, maybe.

(You can click on any of the photos to see a larger, higher resolution version.)

You shall not pass!

This is the door of St. Finbarr’s South, the oldest Catholic church in Cork. The doors used to be open for more hours than they have been in recent times due, I suspect, to declining attendance. The average age of regular attendees definitely leans towards elderly. Weddings, funerals, Christmas, and Easter are the only times I see multiple generations represented outside.

The sign on the door reads, “In the light of the worsening Coronavirus situation, All public weekend and weekday Masses are suspended in Cork & Ross Diocese. This church will be open as usual for private prayer. Please respect social distancing while in the church keeping two meters (six feet) apart from other people. – Bishop Fintan Gavin”. May peace, but not other people’s effluvia, be upon you.

You’re not my mom, parking sign!

Upon reaching North Mall on my way to the War Memorial, I realised the ISO on my camera was set to Utterly (or shutterly, as the case may be) Wrong. I’d just planned on using the default auto settings so I could get in and get out quickly, but the shutter was so slow it kept catching the flicker of the sign, which made it seem like half of the letters had been smudged out. Fortunately, due to the very low traffic, I was able to stand in the middle of the street and fuss with it without getting flattened.

If this street was a font it would be Parade Sans

I turned onto the ironically named Grand Parade. Well, it’s ironic today, anyway. (Do not @lanis Morissette me. Yes “@”!) This is on the route that many parades and protests take through the centre. Usually teeming with cars, people, and skateboarders. And yes, thanks to my dog, I no longer classify skateboarders as people. Even when he’s not with me, my body tenses up at the sound of skateboard wheels on the pavement, expecting an explosion of barking. I’m thinking it’s PTSD, aka, Post Traumatic Skateboard Disorder. But today was blessedly quiet.

Speaking of fonts…

On a parade day this fountain would be crawling with people trying to get a better view. They’d also be standing on the bins, benches, and possibly small children. But today it is clear of humans, providing a view down Oliver Plunkett Street which is oddly and eerily empty. I’ve been re-playing the Mass Effect games lately and, frankly, I expected Seeker Swarms and Husks to be popping up at any minute.

Pigeon Hat

I don’t know if the park would be open on a holiday normally, but it definitely wasn’t today. I think the big blue lady with pigeons in her hair is holding the gates shut. I wonder if anyone told her she should go home and self-isolate.

All over the city there were signs talking about social distancing, washing your hands, or limiting the number of customers in the shop. McDonald’s had an extra sign claiming, “We’re keeping our restaurants clean and safe for you.” Strains credibility, but maybe I’m just being cynical.

One well meaning apartment building advised Visitors to “Protect Your Loved Ones” and not to visit if you feel unwell. I mean… lots of contagious people feel just fine. So, yeah. Well meaning, but misguided. You really should (unlike me at that moment) just get your posterior home.

St. Patrick’s Street at the juncture of Winthrop Street

Now, before the Gallery Full of Emptiness, I’d like to provide a bit of contrast. This is a shot of the crowd seen, just barely, by squeezing through the other side of said crowd in 2013. You can almost feel the press of bodies, the parent pushing their kid to steal your spot, the near miss of an elbow to the eye! But then fast forward to 2020 and it’s just crickets and creepiness.

Gallery Full of Emptiness

Yes, today has been rather sombre. On the other hand, I’ve had no fewer than three neighbours offer to pick up things for me next time they’re in the shop. I have my big, quarterly order from Who Gives A Crap coming in soon, so I’ve been offering loo roll (toilet paper) if anyone needs it. Had a nice Zoom chat with a friend in California yesterday. Have two other friends doing livestreams of art and storytelling. My adorable doggy is here keeping me company and we have plenty of food and water. And let’s not forget that, despite what the “if it bleeds, it leads” media would have you believe, humans are hardwired for cooperation. Not everyone will make it through this, but many of us will just by being kind, compassionate, and sensible.

I’d like to leave you with a word from our adorable president, Michael D. Higgins. He really is a lovely chap.

Mind yourselves and wash your hands. Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig!

(Husk graphic by Lakely Jacobson.)

The post A Different Sort of Paddy’s Day appeared first on TourAbsurd.

A place from my fevered summer dreams?

If you ever find yourself in Ireland with nothing to talk about, the weather is always a safe bet. Whether the weather is “lashing” (raining hard) or “roasting” (a bit warm), people are generally willing to jump on board with your pronouncements. The trick is you have to agree with whatever is said. I once failed to do that and, I’m pretty sure, the neighbourhood had a meeting to decide whether or not to ring the Gardaí. I later confessed my error to friends on Facebook.

“Broke a rule in Ireland today.
A woman said the weather was terrible,
I said it wasn’t that bad.
#socialpariah”

In 2015 Storm Desmond, a fearsome name if ever there was one, ravaged the Emerald Isle. Intrepid reporter Teresa Mannion was on the scene in Galway, urging people to stay safe. Or more specifically, warning “Don’t make unnecessary journeys. Don’t take risks on treacherous roads!” The Irish flare for drama and storytelling was on full display and the Internet responded accordingly. A remix was made from the broadcast, as well as a slightly more malicious go in which someone made it appear as if a flying stop sign had knocked Ms. Mannion over. The second video was shared numerous times as an initial flare up of Internet fame, then revived two years later when it was shared by both Snoop Dogg and 50 Cent. (More friendly remix version below.)

No Teresa Mannions were harmed in the making of this video.

More recently, Hurricane Ophelia knocked our fair isle about. While I don’t want to dwell on the damage and, sadly, the lives lost, it was a worrisome time. Being from California, earthquakes are something I tend to sleep through. Storms, however, can be quite frightening. It doesn’t help that my bedroom is on the top floor under the sloped roof of the house, and there’s a skylight that can be opened. I mean, it’s pretty neat when there’s, say, a supermoon, but more than a little disconcerting when a hurricane is bearing down.

At least something good came of the storm.
Can’t see the embedded post? Click here for a screenshot.

What’s currently happening is summer. And sunshine. LOADS and LOADS of sunshine. Some people are understandably happy about this. Goodness knows there have been years when we’ve had no summer whatsoever. The problem is that it’s too much of a good thing. Ireland is emerald precisely because of all the rain it receives. So when there isn’t a good solid rain for months on end, things start to get a little parched.

On the upside, the drying grasses have revealed all sorts of archaeological wonders. Two new henges near the famous Newgrange passage tomb were discovered using a drone. Mythical Ireland founder Anthony Murphy and Ken Williams of Shadows & Stone photography couldn’t believe their luck. It’s been all over the news, but you can read what they have to say on the Mythical Ireland website.

Can’t see the video? Click here.

Here in Cork the discoveries haven’t been quite as momentous. Still, the doggy and I did have a wondrous moment of our own recently, at the foot of St. Fin Barre’s Cathedral. Gravestones have been moved or rearranged at many local churches. Some are so old that the engraving is illegible. I’m not sure why some get moved and some remain in place. Often they end up upright alongside the footpaths on the church grounds, delineating the walkways. Some even end up as paving stones. I don’t know if the occupants of the tombs get moved, as well, or if they are left to truly rest in peace.

As I understand it, when botanical irregularities give up the secrets of the archaeological, or even ancient architectural, wonders, it can be caused by a few different things. Sometimes it’s an indication that stones and structures remain in situ, with topsoil simply being thinner in those spots. In other cases, it can be a case of soil compression that makes it harder for moisture to penetrate. I think aeration is also a factor, but don’t quote me.

When the pupper and I were out visiting St. Fin Barre’s I noticed several thirsty looking patches of grass. I got very excited for a minute, feeling as if I’d made an amazing discovery. Probably something that no one else had noticed and that would land me on the news as Amateur Archaeologist of the Decade! (Sadly not a real thing.) Gobi, of course, only cared if it smelled like something he wanted to roll in. Got to have priorities.

In any case, I’m mostly stuck inside doing the academic thing. It’s a good thing I have the doggy to drag me out into the fresh air and force me to be social now and then. Else how would I make such stunning observations?

Whatever the weather in your neck of the woods, I hope you’re enjoying it, staying safe, and keeping well hydrated. Find me on social media and let me know if you’ve made any stunning discoveries lately!

#sunscreen

The post Let’s Talk About the Weather appeared first on TourAbsurd.

Hello, lovely readers. Every now and then I receive email from nice folks who have found my site. Sometimes they ask for travel advice, other times they just send a friendly note to tell me they’ve enjoyed my writing. It’s very sweet and most heartwarming, especially since I’ve been off running wild in the hinterlands of academia for the last few years.

Since the last time I talked about university, I completed my master’s degree, took a bit of time off, and then foolishly jumped back into the fray. Yes, ladies and gentleworms, I have decided to get a PhD. (That’s DOCTOR TourAbsurd to you, thankyouverymuch. Or it will be, by gum!)

That’s Maynooth. Just a quick phone snap, but such a pretty part of the campus.

I now spend much of my time torturing myself over the reading and writing I should be doing. I’m researching the best ways to build diversity into animation crews. It stems from my belief in equality and equity, as well as my background working in visual effects. Periodically I’ll pop out to London or Dublin to attend conferences about animation or virtual reality, but I rarely break out the big camera anymore. I still write the occasional blog post, but they are usually somewhat acerbic, criticising toxic fandom or an aspect of injustice, etc., etc. Not at all the usual cheery travel stuff one would expect to find here. And yet, my inherent irreverence is still lurking beneath the surface…

Irish Rail and the questionable caption.
“So good you won’t want to get off.”

Most days I’m on my computer for hours and hours, reading, taking notes, writing or wasting time on social media. I mean, it all ties in, to be fair. But sommmmetimes the investment goes a little beyond research.

Funny animal videos really help keep me going, if I’m being honest, and so does the odd video game. I had an unpleasant encounter with an academic a couple of months ago. It pushed all my stress buttons and really put me in a hole. I’m just coming up for air now. (Wish me luck!)

Speaking of coming up for air, I popped over to London recently to catch up with friends. It was a quick overnight, but it was a lot of fun. I think I’ve mentioned on here that I used to work at ILM. Through connections with colleagues there I’ve gotten a lot of wonderful help and insight for my research, with both the MA and the PhD. I’ve also ended up meeting ILM-ers that I didn’t work with directly, but who are still, in a way, like family.

One of those folks is my friend, Hina. She worked at the company at the same time I did, but somehow we never crossed paths. We ended up meeting, years later, through travel blogging. She graciously allowed me to stay on her sofa (again) for this trip. Although she’s a Londoner through and through, she has lived in California and understands the nearly cellular level of need for good Mexican food. We went out for lunch and discovered with much joy that there was a Mexican shop next door. It’s a good thing I’d only travelled with carry-on luggage, or I’d surely have gone over the weight limit packing my bag with tortillas and spices. As it was, I got two packets of corn tortillas, three bags of chilli peppers, and a tiny Día de Muertos maraca.

I probably should have gotten two, but my bag was full of tortillas.

Another one of those folks is Kirk. He’s created loads of television and movie magic over the years. He already has a sizeable noggin, so I don’t want to talk him up too much. But you should definitely check out his Facebook page.

I had not actually planned to post public photos of our shenanigans. I mean, most of those were taken on my cheapo phone and aren’t great quality, for one thing. For another, it’s just people you don’t know, like when your neighbour wants to show you their family holiday photos, right? On the other hand, as tired and unclever as I was feeling that night (it was a long day of travel, believe it or not), I laughed an awful lot. And both pals were game for goofing around. I don’t know how Kirk had the energy. His day was probably longer than mine AND he was still on Pacific time. Maybe he was just out of his head with lack of sleep. Or possibly beard magic. Yeah, I’m going with beard magic.

On a related note, I snapped this photo out the window of the plane on the way home the following day. I posted it on Facebook, asking if anyone could identify the location. Don, another former colleague responded within minutes: “Ynys Dinas, Newport, UK.” How had he figured that out?

This isn’t where I parked my car!

I’m so glad you asked! A handy website called Flightaware. If you type in your flight info (number or departure and arrival airports), it will show you a map of where your flight travelled. I’d flown from Stansted to Cork, and he was able to pull the info right up. Traced it to the coast and voilà! Tech magic!

Other than discussing the weather, which is something that folks love to do around Ireland, I don’t have much else to relay. It’s also past my bedtime. But I’m still kickin’. Might get back to travel snaps one of these days. Until then, stop by and drag me away from my computer, would you? I need to get out more!

Friend magic, tortilla magic, beard magic, tech magic. . .  sleep magic!

The post I Aten’t Dead! appeared first on TourAbsurd.

Savvy traveller that you are, you think to yourself, “I’m certain that layers would be useful. How many will indubitably depend on the season! I can save money by sleeping in my car, so I’ll need a sleeping bag, a camp stove, and – sod it! – wifi. Yet, how can I possibly transport all that I need?!”

Since yaks and sherpas are not really suitable for crossing oceans, you scratch your head and consider alternatives. You have already decided to rent a car in Iceland, so you’ll be able to spread out a bit and not worry about completely repacking every night. But if all you can do is carry your favourite toque and bunny slippers on the plane, what good does it do you?

Fortunately you have a clever friend (me!) who has magical Internet skills. When one of my friends recently decided to hop over to the land of fire and ice on a discount airline, she encountered this very dilemma. (She hadn’t gotten as far as considering and dismissing the yak-sherpa idea, but she was thinking about haggling with the local dolphins. They have quite reasonable prices, all things considered.)

“AHA!” I announced. “You can RENT STUFF!” You see, I’d found a camping gear website that had good prices and positive reviews. The prices are good, pick-up and drop-off are available 24/7, and they are located right in downtown Reykjavík. You’ll still need to bring your own skivvies and coats, but you no longer need to worry about gear. Or yaks.

You’re welcome.

You will be happy to learn, gentle reader, that my pal’s experience renting gear was as positive as advertised. The only complication she had was that she’d booked an Airbnb room on the edge of the city, so coordinating the shuffle took some doing. Make sure to grab your car straight away so you don’t have to worry about taxi fares and bus schedules. (*whispering* I’m sure you’ll do fine. *pats arm reassuringly*)

Now, what essential items should you squish into your carry-on luggage? Regardless of the season – although a most important consideration – you will need layers. (The Guide to Iceland lays it out quite well in this post.) Windproof, waterproof, warm and woolly – and a bathing suit. Yes, I said it! A bathing suit! Without one, you’ll miss out on all the lovely hot springs, and we wouldn’t want that now, would we?

Remember that it doesn’t all have to fit into your bag. You can wear your bulkiest items on the plane and stuff your pockets, too! Benny from Fluent in 3 Months has a video on YouTube that demonstrates some pretty extreme carry-on hacking techniques: How to take as much as you like in your hand luggage

So what’s next? Oh, yes. Hiring a car and planning your road trip. Will you visit the famously unpronounceable Eyjafjallajökull glacier? Climb the basalt columns at Reynisfjara? Luxuriate in the Blue Lagoon – or perhaps the less touristy pool at Myvatn? Squee over the most adorable birds on the planet? The possibilities are endless!

To recap:

• plan when to go to Iceland based on your interests
• buy a low-cost plane ticket (there seem to be more routes and airline options popping up for this all the time)
• choose & rent gear online before you go
• hire a car in advance
• pack layers and boots – and your swimsuit!
• remember to bring your camera
• have fun and be awed by the natural beauty of Iceland!

*chants* Iceland, Iceland, Iceland! *pumps fist*

*pauses to look abashed*

*shrugs and continues chanting*

Iceland road trip, Iceland road trip!

The post How to Pack for an Iceland Road Trip appeared first on TourAbsurd.

While visiting Venice with Sherry Ott, we had the pleasure of getting a sneak peek at a new tour by Walks of Italy: VIP Access Secret Passages.

Our tour guide, Giuseppina, met us at the base of one of the two columns in Piazzetta San Marco, the square between Palazzo Ducale (the Doge’s Palace) and the Campanile.  We were immediately charmed by her relaxed, engaging demeanor, as well as a sense of humor that made itself apparent almost immediately.  I’m sure it helped that we were all tingling with anticipation, since we were looking forward to seeing parts of the palace not normally seen by the public.  On top of that, the tour itself is a newly created by Walks of Italy and had not yet officially launched.  Secrets and a sneak peek – how thrilling!

The Scala d’Oro is intricately crafted with gold leaf and tiny reliefs.

I had previously visited the Doge’s Palace as part of a package tour on my first trip to Venice several years ago.  We had a guide, but she was nowhere near as knowledgeable and personable as Giuseppina.  Additionally, we only visited the public parts of the Palace, which are richly decorated and designed to impress.  The secret parts are quite a bit different!

We saw many of the same public rooms as on my first trip, but with this tour we were also taken to the unvarnished, hidden parts of the palace, the parts where administrators worked behind the scenes, famous personages skulked past crowds safe from prying eyes, and where the condemned were first tried and later held.  Photos of the interior are limited to areas just at the top of the Scala d’Oro (“golden staircase”), the Bridge of Sighs, and the new prison.  We were able to get permission from the palace representative who accompanied us to take photos out some of the windows, however.

View from the office of the Cancelliere.

We learned that one could study Venetian politics for years and still find it a convoluted tangle.  There was a senate, a small council, a big council, the Doge, the Consiglio, the Cancelliere (“Grand Counselor”), terms of office that lasted 3 months, lifetime appointments that might mean the lifetime in question was considerably shortened…  And all in an attempt to avoid corruption and support the trade that made Venetians some of the wealthiest people on the planet.

The non-public rooms are finished in an entirely different fashion than the public rooms.  The walls and floor are plain wood, stained and sealed in most places, but minimally adorned.  The furniture is well-crafted, but functional more than showy. There are two prisons within the palace and one, the “new” prison, next door across the Bridge of Sighs.  Which prison someone was sent to depended on their status in society and the seriousness of the crimes for which they were convicted.  Likelihood of survival was directly linked to which prison one was assigned.  The worst one, the pozzi (“wells”) involved standing in knee-high water beneath the palace.  Residents therein had a very short life expectancy indeed.

Bars in the “new” prison.

Throughout our walk, we received lessons in history, politics, and architecture from Giuseppina, even explanations for why photography is not allowed in so many places.  I learned, for example, that a single flash from a camera is said to do damage equivalent to 10 hours of light upon older fabrics and pigments.  (I felt extra guilt for the time I had been an idiot tourist and took a flash photo of the giant zodiac clock in the palace.)

Part two of the tour is St. Mark’s Cathedral.  After emerging from what used to be the entrance of the palace, you find yourself next to the the cathedral.  If you look closely, the marble facing, columns, and carvings are rather a mish-mash of styles, since they were not originally designed for St. Mark’s – they are war trophies from a raid on Constantinople.  The story behind the raid is absolutely hilarious, but I don’t want to give it away – you must go to Venice and hear it from Giuseppina yourself!

When standing in line, remember to look up.

One tale I will tell you – at least what I remember – is that of Saint Mark.  Around 828 A.D., the leaders (no rulers, just elected officials) of Venice, decided to retrieve the relics – by which I presume they mean remains – of Saint Mark from Alexandria, Egypt.  They needed to smuggle the relics out of the city without arousing the suspicions of customs officials.  Since Egypt was already a Muslim country by that point, the Venetians, depicted in the mosaic above, lined the top of the basket with pork products.  Seeing that pork was anathema to the customs officials, they did not delve any deeper.  The relics were safely transported out of Egypt and brought to Venice, where they reside to this day.

Inside the cathedral, photography is forbidden, as in most of the Doge’s Palace.  The mosaics and gold leaf work are astonishing in their detail and beauty, so well worth a visit.  The tour aims to get you there between 11:30 am and 12:30 pm, as that is the time of day when the mosaics are lit.  The original Greek Horses are housed inside the cathedral and are also lit at this time.

The Greek Horses.

Replicas of the horses decorate the exterior of the cathedral and can be seen just outside from where the originals are now safely preserved.  The view of Piazza San Marco and the main, seaward facing entrance to the city is fantastic.  While you’re up there, notice the two columns, one topped with the winged lion representing Saint Mark / the city of Venice (another great story Giuseppina will tell you) and the other with Saint Theodore killing a dragon.

You would be hard pressed to find a Venetian willing to walk between the two columns, as this was the place where criminals were traditionally hanged.  A small marble head rests on the corner of the terrace from which you get this view.  It is the spot where the heads of criminals were put on display as a warning to anyone who would dare interfere with the trade of the great city.

The two columns.

I had to restrain myself from telling you too much of the history and amazing stories we learned on the tour.  It was a tremendous amount, and all of it interesting.  Although it’s certainly possible to do self-guided tours of both the Doge’s Palace and the cathedral, having a guide is so much more informative and rewarding.  Indeed, two friends who were there recently were amazed to hear some of the stories I was able to relate – stealing St. Mark’s relics from Alexandria, the Doge’s torture room, the fates of those who were hung between the columns – and vowed to go with a guide next time because they’d missed so much.

The tour is probably not a good match for those with mobility issues or small children, as there are many steps to climb.  It is recommended for those with an interest in history, politics, art, and architecture.  Bring a notepad or a voice recorder – there is so much to learn that you won’t want to miss!

Thumbs up!

For information and reservations, please visit the Walks of Italy website.

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