BY NATHANIEL ROGERS

It's Oscar Weekend!

 I apologize for my radio silence but I was sucked into a vortex of tears and trembling and I don't mean my annual Oscar weekend nervous breakdown. I was working on a project involving Oscar's acceptance speeches and I literally spent twelve hours watching them via Oscar's official YouTube channel. People are always complaining that the Oscars are too long but I say too short. Whenever I revisit a famous Oscar speech I become more perplexed that the producers are always pushing winners to keep it down to 45 seconds. I live for those hot mess speeches like Adrien Brody's in 2003 or Halle Berry's in 2002. Remember that? I mean she didn't even stop hyperventilating for a minute and a half. How much less memorable would Jeff Bridges speech have been in 2010 if they didn't let him have all this "groovy" memories and detours and how much duller would Sandra Bullock's speech have been had she had to cut out all the laugh lines and Meryl Streep kissing jokes and her anecdote about her boy craziness...

"So, if I can take this moment to thank Helgeby for not letting me ride in cars with boys till i was 18 cuz she was right I would have done what she said i was going  to do."

My greatest impossible dream for Sunday is that Christopher Plummer will feel compelled to sing the entirety of The Sound of Music's  "Something Good" when he wins for Beginners. If he does we should all tear down our curtains and make playclothes in his honor.

I hope they let Viola Davis talk for 15 minutes when she wins Best Actress because she's divine. Yes, yes, the gays are supposed to want Meryl Streep to win every year -- sorry! -- but this year I'm all about Viola. She truly anchored The Help, saving it from its own worst impulses and making its best ones resonate. You could feel a lifetime of struggle in her posture and walk, habitually suppressed anger in her frowns; even her smiles and laughter had undertows like she knew they'd be gone the next instant or bring painful memories of her son back with them. People reflexively bad mouth the film -- sure, it's an easy target -- but that performance is just flawless. (If I ran the world Meryl would already have her three or four naked gold men so I owe her nothing)

What are my Predictions? AFTER THE JUMP...

Best Picture
Will Win: The Artist
Spoiler: The Descendants and The Help are the only films with anything like spoiler heat but not enough of it.

Best Director
Will Win: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Spoiler: If Oscar gets cold feet about giving everything to the French on Sunday, this could go to an American legend Martin Scorsese (Hugo) or to Alexander Payne (The Descendants).

Best Actress
Will Win: Viola Davis, The Help
Spoiler: Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady ... and it might happen since it's been 29 years. 

Best Actor
Will Win: Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Spoiler: George Clooney, The Descendants
Jean, George and Brad Pitt (Moneyball) were still campaigning hard right up into the finish and it feels like a squeaker. I'm rooting for Brad and Hollywood always roots for Clooney but Dujardin's extravagantly expressive face and dancing feet might prove irresistible.

Best Supporting Actor
Will Win: Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Spoiler: None. Plummer is so far out front I wouldn't be surprised if Hollywood can't remember who the other guys are.

Best Supporting Actress
Will Win: Octavia Spencer, The Help
Spoiler: None. She's been sweeping the precursors.

Who would you vote for?

WHAT TO SEE THIS WEEKEND THAT YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T YET...

 
Matthias Schoenaerts as a steroid addled man in "Bullhead"

If you haven't seen The Artist yet, you need to see what the fuss is about. Otherwise try and find Iran's A Separation which has been slowly trickling in to more cities. The family drama slash legal thriller is a full stop masterpiece and if it loses Best Foreign Film Sunday it'll be the night's most depressing moment. (It's also nominated for Best Screenplay but there's probably no stopping Woody Allen's amusing Midnight in Paris there.) A Separation has tough competition, though, from Poland's In Darkness, a Holocaust drama (and you know how much Oscar loves those) and maybe even from Belgium's Bullhead, a critically acclaimed crime drama about illegal growth hormones that has a lot of people talking. If you've seen all the Big Name players, you could also try a couple of the Best Documentary nominees: Hell and Back Again and If a Tree Falls are both streaming on Netflix.

If you've already seen all the nominees and have no time to see movies anyway because you're busy prepping for your massive Oscar party to shame all Oscar parties, well done!

Nathaniel Rogers would live in the movie theater but for the poor internet reception. He blogs daily at the Film Experience. Follow him on Twitter @nathanielr.

KENYA: Mob storms safe-sex seminar for gay men.

THE SIMPSONS: The 500th episode's genius opening sequence gets put in slo-mo.

STOP TEASING THE FISH: A puffer fish goes after a laser.

For recent Guides to the Tube, click HERE.

San Francisco LGBT Center celebrates 10th anniversary in March.

Gerard Butler goes to rehab after developing pill problem over pain from 300.

Wingnut Elaine Donnelly still campaigning against "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" months after it took effect: "Supported by the Catholic Thomas More Law Center, she has filed a federal Freedom of Information Act suit against the Navy, alleging that it distorted the figures from its study to make it look like more of the armed forces supported repeal. "

Adele to appear in closing ceremonies of London 2012 Olympics.

Idaho's only gay lawmaker Nicole LeFavour won't seek reelection: "LeFavour cited personal reasons, saying she won't ask her partner, Carol, to endure another difficult Legislature. LeFavour hopes she's replaced in the Legislature by another openly gay member."

Top 10 Grindr-induced psychological maladies. "As a practicing psychologist and avid student of human behavior, the Grindr phenomenon prompted me to ponder deeper issues and implications."

Downton Abbey gives PBS highest ratings since 2009.

These are a mouse's taste buds.

Radio personality Beth McDonald bows out of Catholic event after organizers ask about her participation in Phoenix's Gay Pride parade.

Mark Morford: How to be more like Satan.

St. Petersburg parliament holds public hearings on bill outlawing gay "propaganda". "Anti-gay proponents packed the hearing in their favor, Russian LGBT groups report, as organizers publicized the event only yesterday, and filled the audience with clerical and Russian nationalist organizations." Activist group AllOut is planning a worldwide 'day of action' this coming Tuesday. Find out how you can participate HERE.

Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell says marriage equality should be left to the states, and gays and lesbians make inferior parents.

Massive whale rubs up against Hillary Clinton's dinghy (sounds dirty, right? it's not).

Bear comes out of hibernation.

D.C. Police target gay men in online sting: "In a little noticed brief filed in federal court last May, Assistant Public Defender for D.C. Jonathan Jeffress said that with full approval from the U.S. Attorney’s office, a D.C. police detective posing undercover as an adult gay man has targeted gay men for sex-with-minor arrests on adult gay websites that have 'no history or reputation as locations where minors go online.'"

Puppy is suspicious of broccoli.

Dermot Mulroney and a Macaroni penguin.

'Truth Wins Out's Wayne Besen files suit against "ex-gay" group PFOX: "I decided to sue PFOX after its President, Greg Quinlan, appeared on a television show and falsely claimed that I tried to have him killed."

Indian government sends out mixed messages over Supreme Court's consideration of law that criminalizes homosexuality: "A sensitive debate over gay sex in India was thrown into farcical confusion Thursday after a government lawyer urged the Supreme Court to ban it - only for the government to contradict him hours later in a statement accepting a recent ruling that made it legal."

Delegate Neil Parrott said he filed draft language for a referendum petition with the state board of elections Friday, a day after the Senate joined the House in approving a bill to allow same-sex marriages. Gov. Martin O’Malley endorses the measure and plans to sign it next week.

The board has a week to consider the submission and if it is approved, Parrott and others will begin collecting the 55,736 signatures needed to bring the measure to the November ballot.

Parrott says he plans to turn in double the number of required signatures to ensure certification.

Ralph C. Lorigo, the chairman of the Erie County conservatives, said Mr. Grisanti had lost his party’s trust after twice telling party executives, in 2008 and 2010, that he was not in favor of gay marriage, and then voting in 2011 to legalize it.

“A lot of people felt betrayed by that commitment that he broke,” Mr. Lorigo said in an interview on Friday.

The party instead endorsed Charles M. Swanick, a former member of the Erie County Legislature who once changed his affiliation to Republican before returning to the Democrats. Mr. Swanick has told the county conservatives that he was against gay marriage and abortion, and in favor of fiscally conservative policies, Mr. Lorigo said.

 Senate majority leader Dean Skelos says he is confident of Grisanti's reelection.

An Academy Awards report from the Onion News Network.

Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...

He has now issued a statement apologizing and saying "It is my sincere hope that this statement will end the publicity with regard to my letter."

Says Morris in the statement:

I apologize to the Girl Scouts of Indiana and all of the girls and parents of Indiana who are participating in and running their Girl Scout organizations in a way that promotes leadership, community involvement and family values. I certainly should not have painted the entire Girl Scouts organization with such a wide brush.

As I have mentioned, the letter was intended for only my colleagues in the Statehouse. That is not an excuse for the breadth of my letter – rather, it is the reason for the lack of research and evidence it contained. I was merely attempting to express my reasons for not signing the House Resolution honoring the Girl Scouts and challenging my colleagues to think about the issue. I assure you that on matters of state policy and law making my research is extensive. Too, had I known this letter would have gone to a wider audience, I would have cited further evidence for my position.

In hindsight, I never should have written the letter. However, I still would not sign the Resolution honoring the Girl Scouts – not because of any local troops or even the Girl Scouts of Indiana, but because of the Girl Scouts of the United States of America (Girl Scouts USA) and its policies. My conscience would not allow me to publicly endorse an organization that partners with Planned Parenthood – our State’s leading abortion provider. My family and I view abortion as the biggest evil of our time. And as Blessed Pope John Paul II said in his Encyclical Letter Evangelium Vitae, “every person sincerely open to truth and goodness can, by the light of reason and the hidden action of grace, come to recognize in the natural law written in the heart (cf. Rom 2:14-15) the sacred value of human life from its very beginning until its end, and can affirm the right of every human being to have this primary good respected to the highest degree.” I hope that my stance will help to spread the Gospel of life. Perhaps it will cause the Girl Scouts USA to reconsider its policies.

Read his original letter here.

(via shakesville)

Coalition for Marriage, the UK's version of NOM, is ramping up a campaign to oppose efforts to achieve marriage equality there. Here's their debut video featuring a whole line-up of Christianist bigots.

Check it out, AFTER THE JUMP...

In court papers, a group of congressional Republicans defending the federal gay marriage ban revealed they are appealing the ruling to the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. The 9th Circuit will become the second federal appeals court to now consider the legality of the Defense of Marriage Act, a 16-year-old law known as DOMA...

...The Obama administration has sided with Golinski in the case, arguing that DOMA is unconstitutional. Republicans, led by House Speaker John Boehner, have jumped in to defend the law, filing the notice of appeal on Friday. With cases unfolding in several federal courts, many experts predict the issue will wind up in the U.S. Supreme Court.

Earlier this week...
Federal Court Rules DOMA Unconstitutional [tr]
Analysis of the Ruling [tr]

The Voice reports: "The mention of her decision to not perform marriage ceremonies came while the 116th Civil District Court judge addressed the audience at the monthly meeting of Stonewall Democrats of Dallas, of which Parker is a member."

Said Parker:

“I use it as my opportunity to give them a lesson about marriage inequality in this state because I feel like I have to tell them why I’m turning them away. So I usually will offer them something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry. I don’t perform marriage ceremonies because we are in a state that does not have marriage equality, and until it does, I am not going to partially apply the law to one group of people that doesn’t apply to another group of people.’ And it’s kind of oxymoronic for me to perform ceremonies that can’t be performed for me, so I’m not going to do it.”

Watch Parker discuss LGBT issues in her courtroom, AFTER THE JUMP...

In classic form, Sacha Baron Cohen is making hay of Oscar producers' orders (and refusal to issue him tickets) that he not come to the show dressed as the Middle-Eastern Dictator character from his upcoming film. This morning he released a video statement to them.

Watch it, AFTER THE JUMP...

And here's his interview with Ann Curry on Today:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

ABC News reports on the testimony of prosecutor Julie McClure:

"Even that, though, was not enough. Within minutes of viewing those live video images, he didn't say 'I'm shocked, 'I didn't think that's what I expected to see, I'm embarrassed.' No, he sent out a message, an announcement via his Twitter account, a public twitter account, friends outside of Rutgers," McClure said.

The prosecution accused Ravi of publicly ridiculing Clementi, disregarding both Clementi's privacy and his dignity. McClure charged that it was clear that Ravi was targeting Clementi because he was gay.

When Clementi asked for the room a second time two days later, Ravi agreed, which McClure described as a "trap," and that he sent out "another public announcement."

"He's seeking to brand Tyler as different from everybody else, as gay, to set him up for contempt and ridicule," she said. "These acts were not a prank, not an accident, not a mistake, and certainly were not good natured... These acts were purposeful, intentional, planned. I would suggest to you beyond that mean spirited, malicious, and criminal."

Watch ABC's report, AFTER THE JUMP...

Here's the first motion-capture shot of Mark Ruffalo as The Hulk in Joss Whedon's upcoming The Avengers.

In a discussion last April about his prodigious chest hair, Mark Ruffalo said of his role as the Hulk:

"No one’s asked me to shave my chest yet, thank God. They want this Hulk to be as close to me as possible. I’ll be playing him in motion-capture, so this Hulk will just be a bigger avatar version of me. As they’re modeling him, they’re using many of my own features, down to my scars and wrinkles. He will have body hair, but I don’t know to what extent."

Can't see much there, so it looks like Hulk got waxed!

(more Avengers shots at Screen Rant)

L.A. Times on the Maryland marriage equality vote:

In an effort to get the bill to the House floor, a special joint committee was formed and legislators were left scrambling for seats. Kach, who had previously backed attempts to define marriage as between one man and one woman, found a space right next to the witness table.

"I saw with so many of the gay couples, they were so devoted to another. I saw so much love," he said. "When this hearing was over, I was a changed person in regard to this issue. I felt that I understood what same sex couples were looking for."

A week later, Kach voted for the gay marriage bill on the floor of the House of Delegates, one of only two Republicans to do so. Their support proved vital, as the bill squeaked through the 141-member chamber on a 72–67 vote.

(via digg)

Yesterday I posted a trailer for Bully, a documentary about the gay teen bullying problem. The MPAA gave it an 'R' rating and Harvey Weinstein appealed to them for a PG-13 rating so the movie could reach the teen audience to which it was hoping to show the film, EW reports.

They lost:

TWC co-chairman Harvey Weinstein and one of the bullied children in the film, Alex Libby (pictured), delivered statements to the MPAA’s Classification and Rating Appeals Board today, arguing that an R rating would prevent Bully from reaching the adolescent audience that would most benefit from the movie. (The studio was planning on screening the documentary at various middle and high schools.) However, for an MPAA rating to be overturned, a two-thirds vote is required — and Bully was one vote short.

Weinstein released a statement suggesting that The Weinstein company would be taking a leave of absence from the MPAA, according to EW:

“We respect the MPAA and their process but feel this time it has just been a bridge too far. I have been through many of these appeals, but this one vote loss is a huge blow to me personally. Alex Libby gave an impassioned plea and eloquently defended the need for kids to be able to see this movie on their own, not with their parents, because that is the only way to truly make a change.”

Watch the amazing trailer if you missed it yesterday, AFTER THE JUMP...