One of the things I think we miss is how much our station and position in life directly affect what we think is “right” to do unto ourselves.

A rich man walking down the street doesn’t want to be bothered by the homeless, and so he leaves them alone and averts eye contact — walking by.  In his eyes, he is following the principle of “do unto others” because he doesn’t want to be begged of, and because he does not beg himself he feels justified in ignoring the homeless man.

I wonder if the same rich man, being given a lesser station in life, and finding himself in need, would have the same perspective of what “doing unto others as you would do unto yourself.”

Would he desire the help of others?

The support of his neighbors and the kindness of strangers?

The kind word and acknowledging look, “You are real, and human, and I see you.”

Imagine yourself as someone else — maybe it’s the homeless, the widow, the orphans, the uneducated – a group you’ve never naturally connected with.

If you had their station and experiences; would your perspective on loving others change?

A fight with no information and enemies on all sides and tenuous alliances.

You make guesses, you learn from failure and success.

You proceed not knowing what the next day might hold.

You learn.

Mistakes happen. We’re not perfect — who could be? But the desire to be better, or closer to perfection (in terms of how we serve our customers) is absolutely perfect.  Every one of us desires to solve every problem, to inspire every customer’s business, and to have people go on Twitter and talk about how we saved their lives.  We encourage our support techs to spend an extra hour working on a problem if it makes the customer’s site load faster.

In general, I think this is the attitude we each must cultivate within ourselves.  A perfect desire to be perfect.  That means first you have to care, and second you can’t lie to yourself about the reality that you have problems.  We all have problems.  Sometimes our issues are a little more public, and sometimes you can keep your dirty self hidden — even from your own eyes.  We all tend to think we’re better than we really are.

WP Engine does Managed WordPress well because the first thing we’ll admit is that we’re not perfect, and that we will have problems.  And second, we’ll tell you that we care about fixing those problems more than sweeping them under a rug.  Every day we fight, to be better as a company.  Personally, I want to do that in my own life as well.  I’m thankful to be working for a company that understands that because it’s a constant reminder that I need to take up those same battles in my daily life:

1. Care about being better today than I was yesterday.
2. Admit that I’ve got problems to fix.
3. Battle to be perfected!

You were a victim, and I’m sure that was awful.  I know this because I was a victim too.  You know, apology allows victims of ghastly behavior…

…it allows them, a respite of the burden, of their anger. It also allows the perpetrators of bad behavior to re-consider, to start afresh.

And I think that’s wonderful, don’t you?

The happiest I’ve been in years was when I just grabbed a backpack and a bottle of water and set out for who knows where in San Francisco.

I hiked several miles that day. I tried a “San Francisco Hot Dog” with the red onion sauce and all. I stopped to listen to a street drummer and let the chaotic rhythms wash over me as he danced around, drumming on buckets and frying pans. I drank some Komboucha and ate some nuts. I met some interesting people; my favorite of which was an Arab shop-keep in a random part of town who stopped me to tell me a joke. It took him 5 minutes to tell it and it was the funniest thing I’d ever heard.

It was the most perfect afternoon I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. All alone on an adventure in a city full of wonder, filled with child-like curiosity and a mirthful sense that anything could happen and every thing would be good.

It was the happiest day of my life to date, because I just let go of the plan. I left my cares behind me, and I stepped out the door and into a world of possibility.

Some have to be stretched more than others to find their brokenness, but the truth is that we all have it. Some of us can hide it better than others.

Find where you’re broken. Begin accepting that you’re imperfect, and that you’re just like anyone else.

Then, believe.

Believe in something bigger than yourself.
Believe in the beauty and possibility of those around you,
Believe that the broken road you walked to healing, is a road others will walk as well.
Believe that they are becoming better, will be better.
Believe that the “problems” you see in other people are at present just delays in their healing.
Believe that your positive outlook can have positive impact, even when you say nothing.

Stop complaining. Stop correcting. Stop fixing anything but your own brokenness.
Start believing. Start engaging what you CAN control.
Start enjoying life’s idiosyncrasies; they’re called people and they have names.

BE BIGGER.
Life is about working harder to help those who can’t help themselves.
It’s about reaching farther to get to those who are just out of reach.
It’s about looking harder for those who are normally overlooked.
It’s about doing more for those who are counting on you, whether they know it or not.
Life is about being bigger than yourself. (And believing in something bigger than yourself.)

Like a favorite treat or snack that’s so delicious when at first you taste, eventually over-indulgence just makes you gain an unhealthy amount of weight — and what was once sweet turns bitter.  It’s when looking at yourself in the mirror stops being fun; that is when a dent is placed in your happiness.  Dent happiness enough and it’s like one heck of a beat-up jalopy in need of a fix — that’s called despair — and it’s no fun to drive around in.

If you simply strive to “be happy” then you “will fade.”

Joy is different.

Joy’s about looking at the past, present and future and deciding that just about anything can be seen in a light that’s just a little more positive than you thought.  Be creative.  Maybe that comment that offended you is meant to teach you patience.  Maybe that red light you hit means that you’re 30s delayed…and maybe you missed being hit by a car because you weren’t racing 30s ahead.

Maybe that person really does hate you…but it’s born out of something they’re struggling with that has nothing to do with you, really.  Pray for them.  Bless those that curse you — at best it’ll turn into a blessing when they come back to apologize and restore friendship with you, and well, at worst, maybe that blessing gets paid forward.  Bless them anyways.

Be creative when faced with negativity — positivity is just a different point of view.  It’s not magic, it’s faith that things can and will be better.  It’s faith that even if things aren’t better, the fact that things suck is good for you in the long run.  Have faith.

First,
you must choose to look at what kind of sucks instead of sweeping it under the mental rug.

Stop ignoring those things that seem wrong or imperfect to you.  Accept that things aren’t perfect — maybe a child does go hungry somewhere in the world, and maybe an earthquake does shake up more than just the ground.  Maybe he and she and they did lie to you about that thing.  That kind of sucks, and it’s ok to say so!  To say it’s all well and good well that’d just be…a lie, wouldn’t it?

So!..
Second,
stop turning away when you get annoyed. 

Yup. They smell.  Oh and him? Well yes, he’s *really* disorganized, and that girl? Yeah, well it’s true — she’s struggling a bit with punctuality (and she’s never going to be on time…sorry).  Welcome to the world of human beings — they’re not a pretty sight when you really get into it.

It’s true: girls really do fart.  I shouldn’t say I’ve directly observed the phenomenon, but hypothetically it’s as gross as we think it is.

Third,
it’s ok to be angry and frustrated, but does that help you?

Grudges feel pretty good.  It’s comparative reasoning.  I’m better than them!

All that dirty human-y stuff can get pretty annoying, even make you mad, and well sometimes it even feels like they’re driving you insane on purpose! Well what if they are?

Here’s an easy remedy:  laugh a little more, and well, maybe that will help you worry a little less.  Laugh at your own foolishness most of all, because when you stop and really look deep you’re no different.  On the surface, yeah, maybe you smell nice, and you’re on time every time, and you always treat others better than yourself — but really? really? No, your thoughts drift, and you have your off days.  

If you think about it, we’re all the same, and we should all just laugh at ourselves a little more.  If you’re really honest with yourself you’ll also note that getting upset never helps you feel more joy.

So again, be creative and get to a positive mindset! Stop getting in the way of your own joy.  Stop letting the way you look in the mirror dent your happiness — instead say, “Heck! What’s really hilarious is that I could be out for a walk right now and that’d probably feel pretty good!”  Be creative. Imagine yourself better — it’s dreams that carry you forward in life so dream more and follow the positive dreams. Oh and that negative stuff, figure out how to make it more positive.

Inside that cloud might be a silver lining, and the pessimist might say that everyone trying to find the silver lining gets struck by lightning..but me, well, I think lightning is pretty darn cool! Makes me smile just to think about how cool it is.

‎”Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” -James 1:2-3