Cinemascape – Names Of Things

The Milla Jovovich thriller “The Fourth Kind,” opening today, purports to be about real events and claims its using real documentary footage right alongside actors portraying the same scenes. Turns outmost of it may not be real at all. Read on here.

Why is this so necessary? Can’t we just have well-told suspense stories with good writing? Ugh.

You can check out more of his work (including Thor, Captain America, Green Lantern, He-Man, Spider-Man, Venom, and Wonder Woman) at his Deviant Art profile: androsm

Based on the non-fiction book by Jon Ronson the film takes us into the world of government funded programs to create psychic spies, or as George Clooney’s character likes to call them – Jedi Warriors.

The film is presented from the perspective of reporter Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) who stumbles upon the unlikely story while trying to prove something to himself (and his ex-wife after she leaves him for his boss) by jumping hastily into a dangerous story without thinking.

If you enjoy quirky comedies then this one’s for you. Although the film runs out of gas before it runs out of film there are plenty of chuckles plus a few big laughs. McGregor is well-cast as the skeptic who uncovers a story too ridiculous to believe. Would the government actually fund secret programs to create soldiers who could walk through walls, burst clouds with their mind, use telepathy, and gaze into the future? The answer provides many of the film’s best moments. And I’ve got to give credit to director Grant Heslov for the inspired casting of Obi-Wan Kenobi who looks confused every time the phrase Jedi is used.

But as good as McGregor is, the real stars here are the Jedi Warriors themselves. Clooney, Kevin Spacey, Jeff Bridges, and Stephen Lang all provide the right mix of insanity, paranoia, and an unwavering belief that all these things are real, and possible. Stephen Root has a small early cameo early in the film to set the tone and the other members of the New Age Army run with it.

The title of the film (and of the book) comes from one of the experiments done by the Jedi Warriors where the soldiers are trained to kill goats by staring at them. The “success” of Clooney’s character achieving this unlikely act, in one of the film’s many flashbacks, moves the movie into its darker scenes. The film gets a little too bogged down here before trying return to the more quirky crazy which makes up the rest of the film.

There’s a flashback early on where the program is started, like so many were during the Cold War, in an attempt not to let Soviets get the upper-hand. This moment reminded me of the end of Dr. Strangelove where the characters discuss not allowing the Commies a mineshaft gap. We simply can’t let them beat us, no matter the cost (or the ridiculous kinds of situations such thinking leads to). Like so much of the rest of the film, this moment is funny because it is true.

There’s nothing about the movie that demands a theater visit, but it is worth seeing. If you’re willing to wait, it would make a nice DVD double feature with something like Charlie Wilson’s War.

With rather unfortunate timing, comes The Fourth Kind, a movie that mimes the same technic that Blair Witch established, if with a twist. From the beginning of The Fourth Kind, star Milla Jovovich directly addresses the audience to inform them that the following film uses actual documentary footage spliced into dramatic re-enactments à la, Unsolved Mysteries.

The story documents odd occurences in Nome, Alaska; specifically those following recently-widowed psychologist Abigail Tyler (in the dramtizations, played by Jovovich). She quickly realizes that several of her patients are suffering from similar night terrors involving, uh, a snow owl that stares at them in their sleep. But Dr. Tyler investigates, and discovers, you know, aliens and shit. Shit as in, people suddenly go crazy, levitate, you know.

It uses an interesting blend of technics presented by The Fourth Kind’s writer/director Olatunde Osunsanmi. Scenes flicker back and forth between grainy prosumer cameras documenting interviews, security cameras and reinactments with famous (well, B-List) actors – sometimes all in one frame. Osunsanmi deserves props for trying something new, but it’d be generous to classify these technique’s use as successful – while it lends credence to the story to use such footage, I found myself distracted. Watching each reenacted scene, I found myself in the Director’s seat, wondering how they decided to use what footage and how. It amounts to a bumpy ride.

But in many ways, a Horror film’s success relies mostly if not entirely on how scary it is. The Fourth Kind certainly has scary moments, and can be even scarier depending on whether or not you buy that any of this actually happened. But the scares are cheap – loud sound effects, if startling, do not a horror film make. And even if they are scary, they’re too few and far between. Which leads to the downfall of this movie -

The rest of the film, mostly reenactments, is filled out with awful sideplots dragged down by even awfuller acting. Though Elias Koteas and Hakeem Kae-Kazim, playing collegues of Dr. Tyler, are able to chew up the cheese of the story, everyone else fails hard in the film. Jovovich approaches her role with more seriousness than an alien-abduction flick deserves, but she’s nothing compared to Will Patton as the Sheriff. An apparant accolyte of Christian Bale, Patton doesn’t realize that screaming lines doesn’t automatically make for strong acting. Worst still is the woman introduced as the “real” Dr. Tyler – whether or not this movie is for real, this woman behaves so over the top, with bug-eyes the size of a flying saucer, that it’s exceptionally difficult to take her seriously. Kristin Wiig could play the part more convincingly.

The movie’s aesthetic similarities to Unsolved Mysteries aren’t just in style alone. As a guy who spent days off of school watching Lifetime for their two-hour block of the show, I wouldn’t hesitate to say that The Fourth Kind feels like an over-produced version of the Robert Stack hour, with slicker photography. Though I haven’t been able to catch an episode of the now-cancelled show for years, I think I’d love it just as much today, yet I can’t say I’m especially fond of The Fourth Kind.

Why? Unsolved Mysteries just took stories, reenacted them on the cheap and in the process added a camp value to real-world scary stories. The Fourth Kind’s problem is that it takes itself far too seriously, investing more in its methods than in its story – whether or not it’s real, I don’t buy it. Maybe it would have worked out if the acting held through, but it doesn’t. Check this movie out with your friends if you’re in the mood for an unconventional alien abduction story, but otherwise just forget about it.

Captain America: Reborn #4 (of 5) - Must-read. Steve Rogers returns, or does he? Teh ‘monkey’s liked this storyline more than I have. Although I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the Winter Soldier and Bucky-Cap story arcs, I felt the return of Steve Rogers aspect of the tale was floundering from the start. It’s nice to finally see what the Red Skull had planned all along. I still think, if this was the end result he was going for, it was a little to over-elaborate (and has taken way, way too long), but I’ll give Ed Brubaker credit for finding a way to pull the various strings of this convoluted plot together into a good read. [Marvel $3.99]

Batman: The Widening Gyre #3 (of 6) - Worth a look. Batman’s got a girlfriend, Batman’s got a girlfriend! And is that the Black Spider? Nice shoes. Kevin Smith’s take on the Caped Crusader is turning out to be an okay read. And I’m enjoying the separate conversations with the both incredulous Robin and Aquaman over the very concept of Batman dating. Plus I’ll give Walt Flanagan credit for some nice action shots interspersed between Bruce’s moments with Silver in paradise. [DC $2.99]

Spider-Man #610 - Worth a look. “Who Was Ben Reilly?” The answer is obvious – he was Peter Parker. Good wrap-up of the current storyline here (and a nice turn at the end to stand-up for Ben Reilly). I’ll be happy if both Raptor and Kaine disappear again for a good long while (though I wouldn’t object to the return of a certain Scarlet Spider). [Marvel $2.99]

Guardians of the Galaxy Butt Kickers of the Fantastic #19 - Worth a look. The reasons behind death of Adam Warlock were a little hard to follow, but the event itself carried some punch. The Guardians survive (well, some of them do) their attempt to save the galaxy from the rupture in reality. The fall-out and restructure of the team in the coming issues should be interesting as well. Me? I’m hoping some version of a certain original team member makes the squad. [Marvel $2.99]

Okay, that’s pretty f’ing awesome. And, the LEGO cartridges actually fit inside the system.

It might be fun, but I’m not ready to hop on board just yet. It looks a little Bourne-lite to me, and director Phillip Noyce has a bit of a checkered past (running the gamut of Sliver and The Saint to Clear and Present Danger and Patriot Games). Salt hits theaters next July.

The Valentines – We Are The Band

Jimmy Kimmel Live: White Rabbits – “Percussion Gun” (32:19)

You can check out more fun lists like this on The Oatmeal.

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