Although I’m a total introvert, I don’t think anyone would accuse me of not sticking up for myself – at times I’m the lone dissenter in a conversation, which makes me uncomfortable, but when I’m sure of my opinion I try not to back down.

However, this was not always the case.  It’s taken me over 30 years to tell the bullies NO.  When I say bully, I mean the dictionary definition, which is:

 a person who is habitually cruel or overbearing

I hadn’t thought much about the bullies in my life until my friend Sarah Salter participated in an anti-bullying campaign.  And then I saw Lady Gaga’s video message to one of her “little monsters” being bullied.  So, here’s my history with bullies, and why I don’t listen to them anymore.

Isn't it funny what you see when you look behind you.

Childhood Bullies

I know most kids have run-ins with bullies in their childhood, but as a fat kid in a poor family who grew up in rural farmland (hello poverty mindset), I think I had more than my fair share.  I was teased about how I looked.  I was teased about what my mom packed in my lunch (which was delicious, mom!).   Hell, I was teased for the fact that I was smart and did all my homework in study sessions so I didn’t have to take a lot of books home.

A lot of times, I let them get to me.

End of the Story: Those kids were bored and in many cases jealous; their cruelty
was a result of having no positive role models in their life.  I hold no grudges
against them – it’s a shame their parents didn’t try as hard as mine did
to be a good example.

Adult Bullies

Bullying doesn’t stop in childhood, unfortunately. I received a massive dose of bullying a few years ago when I moved to the UK and started working for an organization full of Type-A Bullies.  The company’s CEO was a total Type-A bully and thus perpetuated a hiring spree of lots of Type-A bullies.

I saw people in tears at work.  I saw people with severe (mental) health issues for the way they were treated at the office.  I saw people building their towers, either ivory – to protect their fiefdoms – or of iron and steel, to protect them from all the hate.

I built my own steel tower.  And then I got tired of the constant attacks.  I finally said no more.  I stopped listening to them.

End of the Story:  I’m thankful for my experiences with those bullies, because they
helped teach me a lesson about the real risks in life.  The risk of not being happy.
The risk of not enjoying your work. The risk of letting someone else hold power
over you.   They pushed and I leapt, never looking back.

Internet (Social Media) Bullies

So, yes, I leapt and launched.  And one would think that because you’re your own boss, you can avoid those pesky bullies.  Not so.  They’ll still find you.  If you want to develop thick skin, become a writer and publish it online where you can invite comments.  I guarantee you’ll see firsthand the presents offered by the anonymity of the Internet.

Do yourself a favour and don’t let those idiots bullies get to you.  Delete comments that are just argumentative jerks, and save yourself for the people who want to have a genuine dialogue.  You’ll also want to learn to spot trouble clients a mile away; just say no the minute you think somebody will be more trouble than they are worth, no matter how much you need the money.  (This advice is also applicable to many types of relationships, friendships, and other kinds of -ships.)

Same goes for that social media vacuum (a.k.a. echochamber) that is created by those who perpetuate the Internet’s “musts.”  You have to have a blog.  You have to have a Facebook fan page. You have to be on Pinterest.  You have to tweet between 8AM and 11AM Eastern standard.  You have to be on Tumblr.  You have to have an iPhone.  You have to check-in on Foursquare.  You have to stop reading magazines and get a Kindle. You have to participate in Twitter chats.  You have to like mah status.

End of the Story: You don’t “have to” do shit.  Do what makes you happy.   

Do what works for you.  Do whatever it takes.

Ignore anyone who thinks different. 

Today I’m talking about eggs.  And baskets.

You’d be forgiven for thinking it’s Easter-time, but no, unfortunately – we’re talking about business eggs and baskets.
(If you’ve got a chocolate bunny, though – I’m listening.)

This ain't an Easter basket, kids.

Eggs in One Basket Vs Eggs in Many Baskets

First, I’d like to mention the old “should you have all your eggs in one basket or multiple baskets” question.  For a business owner, that is a question of business models, so there isn’t a “right” answer, in my opinion.

 I think the smart person builds a damn good nest with some golden eggs in it, makes sure they are all happy and safe, and then goes out finding new baskets.

If you’re out trying too many things, you never get to be a real expert in one thing, or really understand one part of your business.  Experimentation is good, in moderation.

The Problem with Internet Baskets

Let’s move from the egg talk (omelette anyone?) and focus on the baskets.

It used to be that if you wanted to, say, start a store, you’d need to get retail space.  You’d need to invest in lots of marketing materials, buy a sandwich board for the sidewalk, in addition to all of your various accouterments for making your product.

Regardless if it a soap store or a travel agency, it took a wee while to get all these pieces in place.  And a fair chunk of change.  But, it was a pretty solid foundation.  (Proof: despite the wild growth of online booking sites, main street travel agencies are still around.  They’ve got a few more years.)  Now, you can do the same thing online in a fraction of the time and with little up front cost.

But the Internet is not such a solid foundation.   And I just want you to know the kind of baskets you’re dealing with.

The thing is, most of us who work online are depending on a number of platforms to build our businsess.

Many have Facebook as a marketing channel – but they have very loosey-goosey policies and can take away your fan page if they want.  They change the rules all the time – what could be next?

You may rely on Google for your backoffice/email/document storage, ad revenue, or traffic, or worse – all of them – but in the last 6 months, the company has continued to roll out changes that benefit Google, to the detriment of the customers. (And sweet lord, Google has the worst customer service in the world.  It’s great if you get ahold of someone, but good luck with that.)

Maybe you sell your books on Amazon.  Maybe you build applications on Apple‘s iTunes.

Maybe one day those companies will take it all away from you.

Protecting Your Internet Livelihood

I’m not saying not to build on any of those platforms – I have.  I’m not trying to scare you, because obviously those companies all WANT you to use their platforms – that is why they built them.  My plea is to make sure you understand how they really work.

What I don’t like is that in the olden days, you had a contract.  If you didn’t like the butter, the baker could complain and work with his supplier to get results.   If you didn’t like the rent, you could complain, or move.

But online, you agree to the company’s terms and conditions, and you have no choice but to like it.  That’s the price of it being “free” or close to it.

So, educate yourself.  Know the rules and follow your supplier’s blog for changes.  Work to establish a relationship with these companies if you can (Example: I no longer work with ad companies that don’t offer me an account manager).

I have seen so many people get the rug the basket pulled out from under them.   Don’t let that happen!

Also, the American government doesn’t want the Internet to succeed either.  Please educate yourself about the SOPA and PIPA laws, and get involved – or my business, and others like it, might just disappear.

We live in a world where numbers provide us with internal and external validation.

Salary figures = importance of job.
Klout scores = supposed amount of online influence.
% Unemployment = how well the economy is doing.
Number of “top XXX” lists you’re on = how well YOU are doing.

Figures, figures, figures – they’re everywhere.

Last week, I was rolling out CloudFlare (a fantastically cool service all website owners should check out), and for convoluted reasons I ended up digging into a lot of my pageview figures across my network of sites.

I was a bit flabbergasted (gotta love that word) to see that in 2011, my little media empire surpassed 2 million pageviews.  2,024,108 views to be exact.   While many sites get that easily in a month, I’m very happy to see such growth in the past year in my little Internet pocket.

But this number is virtually meaningless, except for inflating my ego.

This 2.024 million pageviews sounds MASSIVE, and it sounds like I should be rolling in the dough.  But actually, that’s a misconception; let’s say I got what would be a typical payout,  $5 per one thousand impressions (this is how most ad networks calculate their payouts), which would mean I would net just over $10,000 for a year’s worth of traffic.

Thankfully, I made a lot more than that, and probably spent more than ten grand getting there.

Tick Tock. Time's a Wastin'.

My point: the numbers that are important are near impossible to count —  and many people don’t even know the important ones.

For me, it was fun to know this number (does this mean I’m now a millionaire?), and sure, just like those top XX lists and other scores, it can provide some validation and trust factor to someone who doesn’t know my business.  But otherwise it’s a relatively useless number.

You have to know what numbers are important to you.  For me, some numbers are easy, and some numbers are hard.

• Number of hours working versus number of hours enjoying family/friends time.
• Amount of profit I made last month that I can spend this month on fun stuff
• How many days/months/years do I have left to enjoy life?

Most people spend way too much damn time looking at numbers that don’t matter.
Are you clear about the numbers that matter to you?

I’ve really been struggling with what to pen for my last blog post of the year here.

A truly magical sunrise. That's Mount Rainier there on the right. A spot for reflection.

I’m loving the annual review that Chris Guillebeau does every year, but I just went through some changing up of my biz, and continued upheaval personally, so not sure now is a good time for a review.

I could write something about the year in review and list some top blog posts, but just today I had to flip through at least 15 of those year-end-summaries in my RSS reader, leaving me feeling less than blunt about the idea.

I backed down from my usual snarky Dear Santa letter, mostly because I’m sick and tired of all the haters and negativity and navel gazing that’s going on in many of the online circles I hang out in, and didn’t want to add to the stale air.

So, where does that leave me?

At this particular juncture in my life, I have plenty of things to be unhappy about. And heaps of things to be very grateful for.

One thing I’m particularly grateful for is knowing the difference between the things I can control and the things I can’t.

Important people in my life have potentially life-threatening medical conditions. This, I cannot control. Giving them love and support and open arms? That, I can control.

2011 has been a heck of a tough year as a small business owner. The economy I cannot control. But hustlin’, honing in on the expertise I can deliver that others cannot, and making it happen? That, I can control.

Anyone who knows me will be quick to tell you I am a worrier; I know what I can and can’t control, but I don’t always listen to that part of my brain. And in 2012, I’m going to make a better effort of focusing my energy where it can make a difference.

My wish for you as the calendars turn is that you focus your efforts, both personally and professionally, on the stuff you can control. It’s the only thing you can do. (Literally.)

Paying for advice is a good thing – it’s a must for many entrepreneurs, because it gives you access to specialized knowledge that you might not otherwise get.  It can also open doors and help you move things along faster than if you were just plodding along.

The problem with paid advice is sometimes it is bad advice, even if you paid for it.

I’ve paid for bad advice. I’ve paid for great advice.
I’ve gotten free bad advice. I’ve gotten free good advice.

There wasn’t any malicious intent by the advice givers in any of those case; the advice was sometimes just, well, bad.    As an advice-giver myself, I understand, things don’t always go to plan.

My point is, don’t make the mistake of thinking that, because you paid for advice,
you have to take it.

Listen to your gut.  If it doesn’t feel right, work it out with the advice giver, and if that doesn’t go well, then pay them their fees and move swiftly on.

For some reason, I picture a old monk, in flowing orange robes, stroking a long beard and gently laughing as I write this.

Peter J. Smith, in his book called OnWard! (published in 2000) said that success is a spiral.  I keep proving to myself over and over again that he’s right.

It’s Not Deja Vu

I’ve just reached another deja-vu point my business.  It’s happened before, and it always freaks me out, because I think “after all that, how the HELL did I end up back here?”

It’s because success is a spiral.  You’re back where you were, but you’re up on another level.  Here’s the short version of the story…

The first day I hung up my virtual shingle I decided to setup a consulting package alongside my travel writing. It was here on andyhayes.com in fact – the first domain I had.  Since I’d been a consultant for years (though not independent), I decided, why not offer a package similar to what I do in my day job.

That package was called a content upgrade.  It was cute and clever, but it lacked the refinements and clear execution that I have developed after doing so many of them.

Once that was working, I started to expand. I split everything out and put all of my content strategy and tourism marketing stuff over on TravelOnlinePartners.com.  I added team members and offered soup-to-nuts bells and whistles.

As of yesterday, I am standing back on that point on the spiral.  I decided to pull back, drop everything, on focus on the stuff my team and I totally rock and love doing.  As I mentioned in the blog post the explains it all to my tourism customers, if it in’t your best work, it isn’t worth doing.

I could be frustrated – I’m now back where I started.  But I have learned so much in that one trip around the spiral – and although on the surface it looks like I am back to square one, in reality I’m no where near it.

Big Changes to AndyHayes.com

So, Travel Online Partners got some new branding and a resolute focus on delivering fantastic website evaluations.  And I’ve taken a similar approach to my site here.  It’s actually been helpful, and the first time since I “revived” my personal blog that I feel like I’m on track and focused.

AndyHayes.com is now more of a behind-the-scenes look at what I’m up to, and a jumping off point for my various business projects.   I’m dropping some things that just aren’t part of my core focus areas.

• I’m no longer offering my business consulting packages. (Those of you who are affected have an email from me in your Inbox!)
• Sadly, I’m also dropping my very popular SHERPA Magazine.  You may see this branding come back to life again in another fashion, and I have no doubt you’ll see a PDF style magazine somewhere. SHERPA was fun and very cool, but right now I have to put my attention elsewhere.
• I’m also hoping to blog here – “behind the scenes” a little more often and try to tackle some meatier issues on the blog. And, I’ve already started working on my annual santa letter, always a big hit! #smirk

I’ve cleaned up my hire me page and made it crystal clear on the ways I can help and support you, which includes a new experiment, my email consultation.  Check it out, or pass it on to a friend!

Oh, and did you notice the new site design? Isn’t it spiffy?  I’m pleased as I did it myself.  :-)

Over to You…

Well, what do you think?  And, better question – are you doing your best work?

After much pondering and review, this week I’ll be rolling out some of the biggest changes to my biz since I started. (For the morbidly curious, yes, I’ll be blogging about it.)  It’s the result of what’s been a pretty momentous year, in both good and bad ways.

A member of my family is worryingly sick.
The economy has started to negatively affect a part of my business.
I’m now in a (I hope) long term relationship.

As a Libra who thrives on external opinion and validation, whenever things get difficult, I seek advice.  Like a raging river, life keeps flowing forward, whether you’re ready to move ahead or not.

Four people in the last month have all given me the same piece of advice (one of them actually unsolicited advice, but welcome nonetheless).  It’s great advice, and as we rock on into the end of another calendar year, I’d like to share it.

“Take it one day at a time.”

What else can you do?

After days and days of rain, this gorgeous afternoon view arrived. Worth waiting for. One day at a time.

]]> http://andyhayes.com/one-day-at-a-time/feed 2 http://andyhayes.com/one-day-at-a-time http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/travelguy/~3/vDQJVX6tVU0/lessons-learned-chef-entrepreneurs http://andyhayes.com/lessons-learned-chef-entrepreneurs#comments Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:32:06 +0000 Andy http://andyhayes.com/?p=721 FYI, if you haven’t heard, I’m offering to help you with your end-of-year business planning. Click here to find out more before I’m sold out! Out of all the categories of entrepreneurs, I think the restaurateurs and food truck owners are the ones I’ve been the most intrigued with lately.  Food businesses are so difficult to get right, [...]]]>

FYI, if you haven’t heard, I’m offering to help you with your end-of-year business planning. Click here to find out more before I’m sold out!

Out of all the categories of entrepreneurs, I think the restaurateurs and food truck owners are the ones I’ve been the most intrigued with lately.  Food businesses are so difficult to get right, and they’re hard to quickly make changes on the fly, so I really admire these people, because many of them do quite well. (Many crash and burn too – but that’s too be expected.)

And given that I’m currently running a food-themed biz promotion, I thought it was the perfect time to chat about how the foodies make their businesses soar.  Here are 4 of my most common observations.

Ooh! Who doesn't like pie?

Leap Into Calculated Risks

As I mentioned, food businesses are risky ventures.  You have so many up front costs to get things right, and at the end of the end of the day, it’s up to an individual’s taste buds whether or not your product is worth coming back for more.  You’ve got so much advance planning:  how to get the ingredients, how to store everything, what to do with waste, how often and how much to change seasonal menus – that’s not if you use only seasonal ingredients and have to plan a new menu every day based on what you found in the market!

The successful foodie entrepreneur embraces risk – because they know their numbers.  It’s a risk because you don’t know everything, but you can reduce risk by knowing your numbers – how big is that risk, really?

The Right Upsell Can be a Beautiful Thing

Restaurants are killer at the upsell – presented tactfully and tastefully (and NOT deceptively), this can be a huge money maker.  Even the celebrity chefs like Rachael Ray know this one – with her branded product deals and all the many other products and services she has, she isn’t just a cookbook saleswoman anymore.

Your customers want to know what the “nice thing is that they should have in addition to the thing they already chose to purchase.”  What’s the worst thing they could say?  No.

Presentation is a Deal Closer

Good, delicious good presented poorly won’t taste as good.  Foodie entrepreneurs know that, but why do so many entrepreneurs leave their presentation – namely their websites, their product packaging, the marketing materials – looking utterly craptastic?  It’s bad.  Have you ever seen a great speaker who had good ideas but their weird body language left you having difficulty listening to them?

 No matter how good you are, people will silently judge you on your presentation.  Make sure it’s on-brand; it doesn’t have to be fancy.  When you go to an old fashioned fish and chips shop, you DO want your chips to be wrapped in newspaper, because it’s part of the experience.

Smile

People who own/run food trucks SMILE ALL THE TIME.  Chefs (except for Gordon Ramsay) smile in the restaurant, even when the kitchen is going insane.  And if you’ve got a team, the people who work their and enjoy it, smile, because they know the customers they’re serving are about to have an amazing food experience.

If you are so excited and happy and proud of your product/service,  why aren’t you smiling?  If you aren’t smiling, then what do you need to do to fix it?  If you are happy and proud, remember smile more – your customers will appreciate it, even if they say nothing.

Oh… and About that Food Thing

Don’t forget, if you want a helping hand to help you get some perspective on the coming year, you need to grab this special offer before it’s gone.  Hurry: there are a few slices of pumpkin pie left!

Creative Commons Photo is by pbody in Flickr – thx!

FYI, if the idea of a end-of-year check in totally stresses you out, then you might want to have a look at this.  It’s important.

Businesses run in seasons, and you – like me – will probably take some time at the end of the year to reflect. Actually, the reality is that you should take some time but you’re busy, you’re tired, and you’re stressed – what a year it has been, eh?

I’m afraid now is the time to start preparing your research so you can spend a few days deciding how you want next year to look. Here are 8 questions you should be asking yourself (and your biz) going into the new year. You don’t need to answer these today, but tuck them away – the new year is looming.

Answer one, answer all of them, but please, take some time to reflect on your journey.  If you’re too busy running ahead as fast as possible, you are missing the view.

THE P.S.

Here’s that pesky P.S. part. (They say everybody reads it.  Hi ‘everybody’ !!) If you want a helping hand to help you get some perspective on the coming year, you need to grab this special offer before it’s gone.  Hurry: there’s pumpkin pie.

Last week I was having an interesting Twitter DM conversation with my friend Sarah (who, due her employment circumstances has asked I not link to her).  Our conversation, paraphrased:

• Sarah: Ugh. I’m having a terrible time with this new marketing campaign I need to setup for my boss.
• Me:  Why, what’s wrong? Can I help?
• Sarah: No, it’s just that… well, I think marketing is SO manipulative.
• Me:  Hmm.  Well, are you trying to be persuasive? Manipulation isn’t always bad.
• Sarah: I don’t know, I just know that this feels GROSS.

I think It Starts with Definitions

The dictionary definition of the Word manipulative:

skillful in influencing or controlling others to your own advantage

Hmm.  There’s lots of talk these days about influencing, and there isn’t anything BAD with having influence over someone, right?  But controlling… I’m having visions of Halloween horror movies with that.

Regardless of whether you’re trying to influence or to control, the difference between good manipulative and bad manipulative is your intent.  If you have bad intentions, I don’t want you influencing or controlling.  If you have good ones, then perhaps either verb isn’t as scary.

Opinion: Marketing typically does mean to manipulate someone, but with two vastly different intents:

to persuade and influence
or,
to deceive

What is Your Intent?  Examples…

Here’s a good example of intent:  I recently put in place a waitlist for my business coaching packages.  Someone might say that I was being manipulative, to make you THINK that they were unattainable, making you want them more.  Such is common practice with Internet Marketers.

However, my intent was to avoid deceit. I recently took on a big contract which meant someone would be buying my coaching package, and then when they got to booking an appointment with me, they’d find out I just couldn’t accommodate them until after the holidays.  That would suck, and isn’t a good experience.  Thus, a waitlist.

What about when I write about travel destinations on my travel websites?  My intention is to persuade you to book a trip there – because I get a commission on your booking.  If I’m doing my job right, my marketing helps you decide if that experience is right for you, but if I was of the intent to deceive you, I wouldn’t care, I would just pressure the $hit out of you until you bought a ticket.  Now that’s manipulation.

What do others think?

I posed this question to my Twitter crew (“Is marketing manipulative/should it be?”), who all agreed that manipulation is bad.  Love Margo’s comment about sincerity, which is along my thoughts about your intent.

Hmm.  Maybe I’m wrong and we shouldn’t be manipulating anything, regardless of intent.

Alternative Definitions

LateVilla prompted me to an article by Seth Godin I already had open while writing this. He states:

Sometimes (and too often) marketers work to manipulate people. I define manipulation as working to spread an idea or generate an action that is not in a person’s long-term best interest.

And there’s that concept of “person’s best interest” – e.g. your intent.

Coming Full Circle

Having thought this one out loud – and with you – I am coming full circle back to what I told my friend Sarah.  It was my gut reaction, and I think it was right.

Regardless of definitions (or anything else), if it feels gross, you’re doing the wrong thing.  End of story.