traverser.nu

Untwined.

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:15:46 +0000

By the end of May, I didn’t recognize my reflection. The person in the mirror was me, of course, nothing dramatic had happened physically, but I was not where I wanted to be, not in any real way.
So I cut ties here and there, mentally, with people, with places, with habits that were holding me back. I began, long ago, to see the knots fraying, and to see the damage those frays were doing not only to me but to everyone else involved but I was afraid of what would happen if I made a move.
But I let it go. I had to.
This is me saying that life is precious.
I began to braid new ropes.
We are lucky if a person’s path runs parallel to our own for longer than a moment. We are lucky to have the opportunity before they take a different direction to tell them good luck and that we hope to see them soon, should our lives find us in the same place again.

Hello friends.

admin — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 00:38:01 +0000

I’m currently rebuilding. I hope to have things bright and fresh and new around here soon. I hope you won’t miss me too much while I’m gone. In the meantime, you can find me on flickr and tumblr. As always, here’s my links page for some quality reading material.

All my love,
Alicia.

Anybody got any Tylenol?

admin — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 00:00:35 +0000

When, exactly, did we become too timid to have an opinion on anything? When did it become rude to make a comment on an offensive statement made in a public forum?

Recently, upon realizing how ridiculous it felt to not say anything, I decided to stop holding my tongue all the time.

And immediately got into two arguments on Facebook, which, of course, is not my venue of choice, but you know, it’s better than a shouting match in a restaurant.

20+ years of keeping quiet results in needing to teach myself to pick my battles, I guess.

Reunion.

admin — Sat, 29 May 2010 01:38:59 +0000

Tomorrow is my five year high school reunion. I celebrated by getting in a car accident.

It was really just a perfect ending to what has been a predictably terrible month. Predictable because April was so wonderful and life seems to go like that, doesn’t it?

The good news, though, is that it has been so fantastically warm that my potato plants have gone mad and I cannot wait to eat every single one of them. Well, the potatoes, not the plants.

Things can only go up from here, right?

Disparity.

admin — Mon, 10 May 2010 15:07:56 +0000

There are obvious differences between me at 15 and me now, but one of the main ones is that when I get stir crazy and “I-hate-this-valley-I’ve-gotta-get-outta-here”-y, I can just go.

So I found a different valley. There are only so many things you can do on such short notice.

The discomfort of home.

admin — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 11:56:11 +0000

I had plans to clean out the trunk of my car before I headed south last week. That didn’t happen because I decided to other things like, um, everything other than cleaning out the trunk of my car.

But! Here is a list of things that came in handy when we side-tripped to Wrightsville Beach, all found in the trunk of my car:

- a beach towel left over from last summer’s swimming excursions
- a giant tie-dyed piece of fabric, usable as a thing to lay on sand
- an empty messenger bag, used to carry things to beach and protect cameras, iPods, bottles of water from sand

… all of which I would have piled on the floor of my bedroom before I left.

Very rarely does it pay to be a lazy ass, but I think I found one time it does.

Saturday.

admin — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 21:06:16 +0000

That was Bushwalla at the House of Blues on April 10.

That’s Bushwalla covering “Psycho Killer” by the Talking Heads, and it’s currently one of my favorite things.

And now, because I can read your mind and you love him, here is his album.

And that was my Saturday in Cleveland.

(Seriously, there are not enough beautiful words in the dictionary to describe how much he is my favorite performer and how nice a dude he was last night.)

Where am I?

admin — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 14:24:27 +0000

Where are you?

There are changes afoot. (Afoot? In the works. There are changes in the works.) I was going to just take down the index page and be all “be right back!”, but “be right back” for me lately has been “be back in three weeks or a month,” so, let’s skip that.

As someone who has been in school for the last 17 years of my life, you’d think I’d be tired of talking about it. This will be the last time (until the next entry, when I promise not to talk about it again) I mention it, I promise. I am, officially, an English major again. I’m also seeking a secondary education certification which, at the moment, does not feel like a huge mistake.

Here, though, is the rub: I am a junior, total-credit-hours wise. Credit-hours related to my major wise, I am, uh, something quite less than that. Oh, the wasted time. It burns.

And that’s all I’ve got. Well, other than this poem I’ve been writing. For a couple weeks. You don’t want to hear about that.

“Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind.”

admin — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:20:28 +0000

What scares me a lot about myself is that more than once I have been told I seem like an angry person. This bothers me because that isn’t something I want to portray; I do not feel angry enough for that to be showing to someone who is around me: but there it is, apparently.

I am happy about almost everything, but when I am angry, I am angry and I hold onto it. I do not like to direct my anger at the source of it. Instead I keep it for myself, and it’s obvious that’s detrimental. Therapy, though it hasn’t taught me how to properly deal with it, has at least taught me that much.

I’ve been disappointed lately; frustrated by people I had faith in and hopes for. That disappointment became anger recently, and I think I am ready to let it go. There is nothing I can do.

What are you holding onto?

Holding it together.

admin — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 14:50:22 +0000

Lest you think I have been doing nothing –

Wait.

Okay, no. I guess I can think of something to write.

I find that when I mention something out loud (or in this case, on a blog), that I often jinx myself in some way. This time, I mention things with school going fine, and now school is officially kicking my ass. The end of the quarter is coming up and I am struggling like I’ve never struggled before.

Have I told the story about how it took me four years in high school to pass an Algebra II class? No? Well there’s that story. It took me four years in high school to pass an Algebra II class. Now I’m taking an Accounting class that for six hours a week makes me want to lay down in the parking lot and pray that the universe sends a snowplow. I’m just no good with numbers.

(Speaking of snow – it finally stopped falling. After I drove through that for a few hours.)

Also, blog, I’ve been cheating on you with tumblr. Sorry, kinda.