WELCOME TO DUMP DAY 2013 … This is a day that we stop to consider how blessed we are materially. A day we stop to be the “Good Samaritan” in the story Jesus told, choosing NOT to pass by on the other side of the road. We choose to help today. We choose to make a difference.

THIS is the day will WILL make a difference in the people who live, work and eat at the Tegucigalpa dump. They are the people of the dump. Dirty people. People who have names, lives, needs.

We are blessed people. We eat until we’re full. We don’t go to bed hungry. We live in homes that are MORE than adequate. We have an abundance of everything … food, clothing and “stuff.”  Please understand there’s nothing wrong with being blessed with material things, but not sharing what we have is wrong!  Just “realizing how blessed we are” is not enough. Feeling sorry for the hungry and the poor of this world is NOT what Jesus was looking for from us. Poor people don’t need our sympathy or our pity, they need our compassion. The same compassion that the Good Samaritan had, one that took action. For me to sit back and simply say, “How sad,” makes me no different than the Priest and Levite that passed on the other side.

So what are we going to do today?

Let’s give a little. Any amount would be great. Here are THREE ways to give. You can give via snail mail by sending your check to:

Honduras Hope

PO BOX 9222

Columbus MS, 39705 (attn: Dump Fund).

(This is a tax deductible donation)

Also give ONLINE,

You can give safely and securely online by going to Bread For A Hungry World’s website, and on the top right there’s a “Give to the Dump” donation button CLICK ON THE WORD “GIVE”. Bread for a Hungry World is helping partner in our work at the dump.  (This is also a tax deductible donation.)

I’ll also remind you that my PAYPAL BUTTON is always on this page, and while you’re welcome to use it, please understand that my Paypal is NOT going to be a tax deductible donation. So if you’re okay with that … go ahead and use it.

If you donate today, we’d love to keep a running total of donations. So if you don’t mind, leave a comment on this blog saying something like, “The Morgan family gives $100″, or your comment can be totally anonymous by not adding a name.  That’ll give us the ability to say, “We’re currently at … “

We have 2 giveaways this year…

• For a $30 donation will get you a new Dump Bracelet or new Dump Shirt … your choice. The ONLY way you can get it is by sending an email to “i.want.a.dump.band@gmail.com” and give us your address to send you one. Make sure you tell us if you want a bracelet or a t-shirt when you send that email.  There is a limited amount of these so pledge early in the day tomorrow.

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink… I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” ~ Jesus

Thank you VERY much!

If you’re looking for Dump Day 2013 … find it here… DUMP DAY 2013

QUESTION: What can I do to REALLY make a BIG difference on Dump Day tomorrow? (3 Things…)

1. Pray and ask God to bless our day.
2. Make a donation.
3. One of the most important things is tell everyone you know. Tomorrow use your Facebook, Twitter, blog, email, etc to spread the word. That is the key to making this work. Post on your Facebook about Dump Day and tell people to come over here and pledge.

QUESTION: How do we give this year? There are several ways to give this year …

1. You can send a check via snail mail to: Honduras Hope, PO BOX 9222, Columbus MS, 39705 (attn: Dump Fund). This is a tax deductible donation. You can also give to the Childress Church of Christ, PO Box 239, Childress TX 79201 (attn: Dump Fund).
2. You can give online by going to Bread For A Hungry World’s, website and on the top right there’s a “Give to the Dump” donation button. Bread for a Hungry World continues to partner in the work at the dump.  This is also a tax deductible donation.
3. I’ll also remind you that my Paypal button is always on this page, and while you’re welcome to use it, please understand that my Paypal is NOT going to be a tax deductible donation.

QUESTION: Why and How do I make a pledge?

• We try hard to keep up with how much has been donated throughout Dump Day (tomorrow), so we always ask you to make a comment on my blog saying that you just pledged (or will give) a donation of “$100″ (or whatever the amount). You can do it anonymously or just make the comment. This is not so we can say, “Look what we’ve given,” or “Look what we’ve done,” but so we can keep up with a close estimate on the total … and give God the glory.

QUESTION: How do I fast?

• I’m encouraging a food fast for 30 hours. I’ll start mine at bedtime tonight and end it Thursday morning when I get up. No food on Dump Day. If you want to do yours for 24 hours, that’s okay. If you want to start and end at a different time than mine, that’s okay. But consider a fast of some kind tomorrow. I will fast from food but will drink liquids. If you can’t fast from food (because of health reasons), fast from something else like television, eating out, driving (walk tomorrow), etc. Use tomorrow to remind yourself how blessed you are materially and how some are NOT so blessed as you and I.

QUESTION: How do I get a Dump T-Shirt and or a Dump Bracelet? 

• For a $30 donation will get you a new Dump Bracelet or new Dump Shirt … your choice. The ONLY way you can get it is by sending an email to i.want.a.dump.band@gmail.com and give us your address to send you one. Make sure you tell us if you want a bracelet or a t-shirt when you send that email.  There is a limited amount of these so pledge early in the day tomorrow.

Any other question???

Our 5th annual Dump Dayand 30-Hour-Fast is next Wednesday the 8th.  Many have started giving early, and that is totally okay. If you do give early, please make sure you stop back by this blog next Wednesday and let us know what you gave so we can kind of keep a running total. We’re hoping to use this blog as a place to make pledges and point you to ways to make donations.  Here’s several things I want to let you know … first and foremost … understand that everything you and I give goes to the ministry at the dump. That’s important to know.

GIVEAWAY …

• If you make a donation of $30 or more, I’ll send you a “Honduras Dump Ministry” 1 inch neoprene band (See Picture Below). These aren’t the little silicone bands; these are the nice ones. You can show off your support of the Dump Ministry with one of these bracelets. I’ve been wearing mine for about a month now, and I love it.  There is only a limited amount of these, so it’ll be first come first serve. After you make a donation, the ONLY way to get yours is send your name and mailing address to the following email address i.want.a.dump.band@gmail.com … you’ve got to send me an email to that address to receive one.

Here are your options for giving next Wednesday …

* Send a check to … Honduras Hope, PO Box 9222, Columbus MS, 39705 (attn: Dump Fund)   (This is a tax-deductible donation)

Also give ONLINE,

You can give online by going to Bread For A Hungry World’s website, and on the top right there’s a “Give to the Dump” donation button next to an old woman in a yellow shirt. Bobby Moore and Bread for a Hungry World is helping partner in the work at the dump. We love and appreciate very much what Bread for a Hungry World does throughout the world.  (This is also a tax-deductible donation.)

I’m trying to encourage everyone to use one of these two forms of giving I just mentioned. I suggest the above link of Bread for a Hungry World because it’s the easiest.  I’ll also remind you that my Paypal button is always on this page; and while you’re welcome to use it, please understand that my Paypal is NOT going to be a tax deductible donation.

Dump Day and the 30 Hour Fast for 2013 is right around the corner (May 8th). For the past 4 years we’ve helped raised money for the ministry that takes place at the dump in Tegucigalpa, Honduras. Dump Day 2013 is necessary to replenish the dump fund because the dump fund provides…

• Weekly feedings (a hot meal) at the dump.
• In the summer when mission teams are there we do several feedings per week.
• In the past a small scholarship was given to a graduate from a local school that’s in a very poor community just outside the dump. Many of the kids from this community grow up going to the dump and working there. Our goal is to encourage them to finish school (the best change for their future).
• The dump fund provides much of the annual Jesus Banquet where the poorest of the poor are served.
• The dump fund helps sponsor a day care just outside the dump so parents won’t take their children into the dump.  Some of the additional things provided for the day care this year was formula, beds, kitchen equipment, etc.
• One of the things I LOVE is that Marc Tindall uses dump fund to provide several ladies at the dump with milk for the babies. Marc generally tells them, “If you won’t bring your baby to the dump, I’ll help provide you milk,” an essential for a newborn.
• Throughout the year there are needed medical expenses for people from the dump. A $15 antibiotic, which a person from the dump can’t afford, can sometimes make a difference between life and death.
• One of the things your past donations helped with was a young boy named Oscar whose leg was run over by a truck at the dump. The hospital said they were going to amputate Oscar’s leg because he could not afford $400 worth of pins to fix the leg. The dump fund covered the pins. We also helped a lady named Brenda with a c-section and young man who was hit by a truck.

These are just a few of the things that we used the dump fund for last couple of years. There were many others. We’d love to help with a project at Buen Samaritano (the small community where many of the dump workers live) by providing water, school supplies, medical needs, food for a feeding center, etc.

Please pray about Dump Day 2013 that will take place on May 8th and help us SPREAD THE WORD.  We’ll be having a 30 hour fast as well that day.  Thanks so much for ALL your help with the ministry at the dump.

I dare you to click on this picture and look at it closer.

I am thrilled about making my first trip to the Pepperdine Lectureship this year. I will get to present two lessons on “Marriage and Family” while I’m there. Lea and I are excited about making some classes and seeing beautiful Southern California.

If you’re going you might want to check out the follow information and apps that are available. You can find them here:

http://preachermike.com/2013/04/13/the-new-pbl-app

Hope to see you there.

Trey

This is a picture of Sonya and I. She had just come from working at the dump. Marc Tindall met her almost 5 years ago when she was barely 11. She has worked in the dump since she was 9 years old. About 2 months ago, a gang killed Sonya’s boyfriend – to settle a debt or some issue. Sadly, Sonya was with him at the time. Marc helped buried him. Sometimes we have to use funds from Dump Day to bury people. Last year we buried 2 kids and 4 young men who were killed in different ways.

Last Thursday, Sonya stepped on a nail and the next day her foot was about 3x normal size. We have her on some powerful antibiotics so her foot will get better. We also went to buy groceries for the house because she can’t work for the coming days. The Dump Fund is how we are able to provide antibiotics and food for the poor.

Jesus said whatever you do for the least of these you have done it for me. I guess we took care of Jesus wounded foot and bought him some food. He just happened to be in the form of a 16 year old girl living a very difficult life.

Dump Day is May 8th. I hope you’ll help again this year.

Wendy is only 28, has 5 kids and rides a bus 3 hours a day so she can work at the Tegucigalpa dump. She spends her day digging through other people’s trash searching for things she can recycle … it’s her job and the only way she can support her 5 children.

On top of ALL that … Wendy just learned that she had cancer. A public health doc told her that she could start free treatments in about 8 months, but her cancer doctor told her that if she didn’t start treatment now, she would be dead in 8 months.

Private treatment cost $2500 and is impossible if you only make $25 or $30 a week working in a dump and have 5 children to support. My friend Marc wept with Wendy as she told him her story. They also prayed for a cure and that these 5 kids won’t be orphaned. It was then that we stepped out in faith and decided to help her get treatments. The money we are using is money dedicated to building our mission house because we believe that Wendy’s life is more important.

The annual Dump Fund contributions that are given help with needs like Wendy’s. We believe helping and serving the poorest of the poor is something God wants us to do. Food, shelter, medicines and many other needs are met through our Dump Fund donations. This year’s Dump Day will be May 8th. Be praying about how you can help on Dump Day.

“Famous Celebrity Cheaters” was the article I saw this morning about famous people who had been caught cheating in their marriage. It bothered me to see the list of famous names like Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Arnold Swartzenager, Koby Bryant, David Letterman, LeAnn Rimes and others.

Affairs.

Some call it sleeping around … some call it cheating or being unfaithful. God calls it adultery … which is sin. No matter what you call it, it’s pretty clear on how God feels about adultery.

He doesn’t like it!

Here are a few things I took note of from the book of Proverbs this morning…

“Adultery is a brainless act, self-destructive … And a reputation ruined for good.” Proverbs 6:32

“…He who sleeps with another man’s wife, or even touches her will never go unpunished.” Proverbs 6:29

“Be faithful to your own wife… don’t give your love to just any woman. Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. Let her love always make you happy and hold you captive. My son, don’t be held captive by a woman who takes part in adultery. Don’t fondle a woman who is not your wife. The Lord sees everything you do, and he watches where you go. An evil man will be caught in his wicked ways … He will die because he does not control himself…” Proverbs 5:15-23

Here is what I take from this text in Proverbs 5, “Seek wisdom, delight in your own spouse, and keep your pants zipped around others.”

I’m not sure anyone ever sets out thinking, “I want to have an affair.” It just slowly happens. Sadly the consequences are far worse than you ever imagined. Think about this when it comes to having an affair …

1. It’s wrong! Plain and simply … you know better. It doesn’t matter if it feels “right” … it’s wrong. It doesn’t matter how bad your marriage is … it’s wrong! Don’t do it. It’s a sin in God’s eyes, and He won’t take it lightly.
2. You will hurt MANY people in your life. You will hurt your spouse. It will damage your children. They will pay a HUGE cost emotionally, relationally and psychologically. Your family will suffer … greatly.
3. You will regret it .… plain and simple.
4. It will bring you more pain than it ever will happiness.
5. You promised to be faithful. You made a commitment and covenant to your spouse and to God. He expects you to keep that. If you are having marriage problems, seek professional counseling. If your spouse isn’t meeting your needs, seek professional counseling. Just don’t listen to satan, others or the world … an affair is wrong.
6. It will wreck and destroy your reputation. No one, including your peers, family and children, will respect you.

Instead of pursuing a relationship with someone other than your spouse … just pursue your spouse. If you will expend the same amount of energy into your marriage as you would an affair, it would be a wonderful relationship. If the grass LOOKS greener on the other side of the fence … WATER your own lawn. Make magic in the relationship that already exists.

Don’t have an affair … it’s wrong.

“Adultery is a brainless act and self-destructive … and a reputation ruined for good.” Proverbs 6:32 (Message)

Lea and I will be in Tulia Texas THIS SATURDAY – March 2nd for a Stronger Marriage Workshop. JOIN US.

Here’s the schedule:

8-9 Breakfast in our Java Cafe
9:15-9:45 – “Debunking Marriage Myths”
9:45-10:30 – “10 Things for Husbands”
10:30-10:45 Break
10:45-11:30 – “10 Things for Wives”
11:30-11:55 “Don’t Bankrupt Your Love Account”
12-12:45 Lunch
1-1:30 – “6 Ways to Kill your Marriage”
1:30-2:30 – “Making Your Love Life SIZZLE”
Q & A

Here’s a list of our upcoming Stronger Marriage workshops …

http://www.facebook.com/StrongerMarriageWorkshops/events

If you follow our blog for marriage posts and updates, we’re doing most of those now on Facebook that you can find by clicking here…

http://www.facebook.com/StrongerMarriageWorkshops

Stop by and hit the “like” button.

LOVED the article by Steven Crowder. Here are bits and pieces of it …

Sadly, marriage has become a punchline in today’s society. From referring to the wife as “the old ball and chain” to nearly every poorly written sitcom that we watch, the message we’re sending to today’s generation is clear… Marriage = no fun.

Picture coming home every night to your best friend, your greatest fan, and your number one supporter. She (or he) makes each good day better, and each bad day good again. Every day, you get to live what is essentially a 24/7 sleepover party with the greatest friend you’ve ever had.  … Now add sex and sandwiches.  Get married, like, now.

Okay. Here are a few purely statistical reasons as to why marriage (when done correctly) is conducive to an undeniably better life. Hold onto your butts.

1. You’ll be richer – Yes. Not only do married couples make more, save more, have a higher net worth and qualify for more benefits/financial incentives than lonely, single folk… but your kids will be richer too. Which brings me to my next point

2. Would somebody please think of the children!! – The single biggest indicator of child poverty is whether both original parents are still together. Not only that, but children in married householdsget better grades, are less disruptive in class and less likely to develop behavioral disorders than children from non-married households. So be married long and prosper. Your kids will too.

3. You’ll have more sex… A LOT MORE SEX – Okay so you may not want kids. You may despise them. I get it. Sticky hands. Let’s say you’re just another selfish, narcissistic bachelor (or bachelorette) who quite frankly, isn’t deserving of the unconditional love you may oh-so-luckily find. You just want the sex. Statistically, not only do married people have more sex, they have better, more satisfying sex. If the two of you should hold off on sex until marriage, those statistics become even more promising. Here’s a perfect example of where Hollywood gets it wrong. In the real world, while Alfie fruitlessly toiled away at picking up harlots from the bar, suffering a mean case of whiskey-wiener, Mr. Cleaver was getting busy on the regular. Them’s the real breaks.

Read the rest of this excellent article … read it here:

I know I haven’t been updating this blog regularly like I used to … and you’ve been telling me about it.   I had a sweet older lady, that I didn’t even know was a reader, catch me this week and tell me I need to do a better job updating my blog. She is totally right.

Here are some things I need to let you know…

1. I promise to update my blog at least twice a week.
2. Much of our marriage stuff has been moved to Facebook.  If you are on Facebook, find us there: “Trey & Lea’s Marriage Updates.”
3. Many of the things I put here may not be things I write, but pictures, links and info that I find interesting.

Thanks for your patience with me.

Trey

Here are some upcoming Stronger Marriage Workshops that Lea and I will be doing…

• LaRue, Texas – We’ll be at the Lapoynor Church of Christ on January 18-19. This will be a Friday evening and Saturday morning workshop.  For more information contact: (903) 876-4334 or lapoynorcoc@gmail.com
• Conway, Arkansas – We’ll be at the Robinson and Center Church of Christ on February 8-9.. This also will be a Friday evening and Saturday morning workshop.  For more information you can contact Daniel at 501-269-1299, Daniel.hudgeons@acxiom.com
• Tulia, Texas – We’ll be at the Tulia Christian Fellowship on Saturday, March 2nd. For more information contact Vickie Gray at tcfchurchinfo@gmail.com.
• Hobbs, New Mexico - We’ll be at the Jefferson Street Church of Christ on April 12-14. For more information contact  Clay Martin at 575-393-8223.
• Coahoma, Texas – May 17-18, Contact Eddie Pitchford 432-816-9228 for more details.

We think our “Stronger Marriages” is a great way to strengthen your marriage … whether your marriage is good, bad, struggling or great.  Whether you are a newlywed or have been married for 40 years, this workshop will bless you.  Here are some of the things we’ll be covering …

• 10 Things a Husband Needs from His Wife
• 10 Things a Wife Needs from Her Husband
• If there is 1 thing you can do immediately to impact your marriage … it’d be “this!”
• Myths about Marriage
• 5 Ways to Kill Your Marriage
• Are You Roommates or Soulmate?
• Sex & Intimacy … The Way God Designed It.
• Q & A time.

I just got back from Honduras. It was a great trip. I have LOTS of stories to tell you, but first check out this picture (click on it to blow it up) …

2 Really BAD Houses in Buen Samaritano, Honduras.

THE BAD NEWS: I took this picture last Saturday in Buen Samaritano of two horrible houses where two different families are living. The houses are mostly made from scrap tin and scrap wood that these families have found at the dump. The one that is mostly tin gets so hot it’s almost unlivable.

THE GOOD NEWS: This morning I talked to my friend Randy Allen, who is in Honduras, and he and friends were standing in front of these very two houses as we talked. Those good people from the “Build Hope” group will replace those nasty houses with two brand new houses by the end of today. Can’t wait to see the picture of the new houses. Great job Build Hope.

God is good…

UPDATE … HERE THEY ARE….

Of course chocolate NEVER hurts.

Every time I see an Old Spice commercial (like this one), an Axe hair-gel commercial or a TAG body-spray commercial, I just shake my head.  According to the commercials, if you just use these products, women will be uncontrollably attracted to you sexually.  Now men, I’ll be the first to admit, it is important to your wife that you smell good, BUT a quick shot of TAG body-spray is not going to make her jump you in the grocery store.

That got me to thinking about things that really turn a woman on. First thing husbands need to understand when it comes to sex is that men are like a microwave and women are more like a slow-cooker … meaning she needs you to start the romance early in the day. Husbands, notice the list below … all these things start BEFORE bedtime. MEANING if you just wait for bedtime to get “romantic” … you’re probably too late!  The commercials may say Tag body-spray is the way to go, but my money is on these…

So, wives … can you add some more I’ve missed?

I read this morning that Americans will spend $470 billion dollars buying gifts this Christmas. That’s a staggering $11 million dollars EVERY MINUTE from Black Friday until Christmas Day. I just wanted to remind you that most of the world doesn’t live like you and I do. This amazing picture is of a “modern” neo-natal unit and crib room at the Western Regional Hospital in Santa Rosa de Copan, Honduras, where they have no money to buy real cribs. Wouldn’t it be great if this Christmas you and I spent as much on feeding and helping the poor as we did buying gifts for those who really have plenty? If that sounds good to you, you might check out World Vision or Bread For a Hungry World. Both are great organizations helping the poor throughout the world.

I love ministry, I really do. But one of my pet peeves is people calling me to do their ministry for them. When God puts someone in your life that needs loving, serving or ministering to … YOU do it.  If you need help, I’ll help you … but you try it first. For example, I never mind people calling me and saying, “Can you go check on my neighbor, he’s just had surgery.” I don’t mind one bit, but I must warn you, if you call me and ask me to go check on someone I will ask you, “Have you visited with him first?”  If you say, “No,” I will tell you, “God put him on your heart and in your life for a reason. You go check on him first and then I’ll be more than happy to check on him after that.”

Don’t ask me to do something that God is wanting you to do.

This also happens on a regular basis when we have a homeless person come though our community. It’s not unusual for someone to call me and say, “There is a homeless man out here at McDonalds, can you come see if he needs anything?” I regularly respond with, “I’ll be happy to, right after you ask him if he needs some lunch or something else first.”  I’m not being lazy or mean, I just want people to stretch in their faith and do things that might make them a little uncomfortable.

Recently this really hit home when one  Sunday afternoon my 16 year old son made a trip to Walmart to pick up some things for his mom. Not long after he left he sent me the following text message…

CONNOR: “Dad, there’s a homeless man sitting out here at Walmart.” 

ME: “Awesome, see what he needs and I’ll be right out.” 

CONNOR: “ME?!?”

ME: “Yes … you. God put him in your life … you can help him.” 

CONNOR: “I am helping him.” 

ME: “Great, in what way?”

CONNOR: “I’m helping him by sending YOU a text message and telling you to come help him.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at Connor because I knew this was out of his comfort zone. He has been with me many times when we’ve picked up homeless people and given them rides or help … but he’s never been the one doing the helping. After a little encouragement Connor bought him a bottle of water and by the time I got out to Walmart he was gone. I was proud of my son and his willingness to show love to someone that made him a bit uncomfortable. I hope he remembers what Jesus said in Matthew 10, “And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.”

How about you? Where can you stretch in your faith this week and minister to someone else?

Earlier this week I posted about “10 Things Wives Shouldn’t Do In Marriage.”  Here’s a list for the husbands….

1. NEVER be unwilling to forgive. Don’t hold on to all the negative things about your relationship and never bring up past hurts. Instead, remind her that you love her … everyday.
2. NEVER plop your fat rear-end down in a chair after work without first asking your wife if she needs some help with something. Just because your workday has ended, doesn’t mean you can’t still help with hers. Run a vacuum, load the dishwasher, help put the kids to bed, etc. It’s your house too. Get up and do something to help.
3. NEVER be critical of your wife in public. There is NEVER an excuse for this. If you have an issue with your wife, discuss it with her, not your buddies at the golf course.
4. NEVER think that communication is overrated. Your wife needs communication as much as you need air to breath. When she asks, “What did you do today at work?” Don’t say, “Nothing!” instead, give her all the details.
5. NEVER stop pursuing your wife.  Work as hard everyday to keep her as you did to win her before you were married. Things like sending flowers, holding hands, leaving notes, etc.  It’s called affection. Those things should NEVER end.  One of the things you can do is date your wife (at least once a week).  One of the worst things you can do for your marriage is not investing any “alone time” as a husband and wife. Find a sitter and take your wife out for supper.
6. NEVER stop praising your wife. You can’t over-praise your wife. Tell her she’s still beautiful, that she’s a good mother or a fantastic wife. No wife has ever said, “I don’t like it when you say nice things about me.” Be her BIGGEST fan.
7. NEVER EVER say something critical about your wife’s new haircut. There are a few things women take VERY serious, and their hair style is one of them. Being critical about your wife’s new hair style will only lead to the doghouse, sofa or both.
8. NEVER hide things from your wife. Honesty and openness is HUGE to your wife. Don’t hide text messages, friendships, emails, passwords, etc. Openness leads to accountability, which is excellent in marriage.
9. NEVER invest more time into your hobbies or occupation than your marriage and family. Your marriage should be FIRST priority, your family second and then your occupation and hobbies. Don’t be dumb enough to put your marriage and family on the back burner and later regret it.
10. NEVER refer to keeping your own children as “babysitting.”  They’re your kids and you are their father … it’s not babysitting, it’s called being a father.

Here are 10 things that wives tend to do that REALLY hurt their marriage… (in case you missed it, here is the Husband’s list) 

1. NEVER criticize or belittle your husband in public. A husband’s ego is fragile and being critical of him in public or to your girlfriends is crushing.
2. NEVER withhold sex from your husband as punishment for something he has done wrong.
3. NEVER put your relationship with your children above your relationship with your husband. Don’t stop being a mother, but just don’t make your children more important than your relationship with your husband.
4. NEVER forget to regularly brag on your spouse. Men are like children, they are motivated by praise. You cannot tell him too often how nice he looks, what a good dad he is, what a good provider he is, how much he still turns you on, etc. Simply be his biggest cheerleader.
5. NEVER view meeting your husband’s needs sexually as a chore, but as a priority. Whether you’re having sex five times a week or five times a year … be happy. A healthy sexual relationship with your spouse is a sign of a healthy marriage … so strive to make your sex life sizzle.
6. NEVER use the silent treatment. The silent treatment is an immature and horribly unhealthy way of communicating that something is wrong. Just share your heart.
7. NEVER expect your husband to read your mind or to know what’s wrong with you. Ladies, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a million more times, you CANNOT connect the dots close enough for us men to catch on to what you are thinking. Just spell it out. Dropping hints or just expecting your husband to know what your thinking will only lead to MORE frustration. Simply tell us what’s on your mind.
8. NEVER underestimate the importance of doing things your husband likes to do. Be your husband’s best friend and spend time doing things he likes to do. Take interest in some of his hobbies. Some of the best memories you can make together are when you’re spending time together.
9. NEVER take for granted your physical appearance. Everyone knows that men are visually stimulated, so dress with the goal of pleasing him. I’m not saying you have to be a trophy wife, but do the best with what you have. Face cream, rollers in your hair and an old pink bathrobe should not be the norm for how he sees you.
10. NEVER forget to be limitless in your forgiveness. Husbands can make mistakes with the best of them, so always be willing to forgive.

In pure Jeff Foxworthy fashion  … 

• If your “special” restaurant has a drive thru window … you might need to work on your romance.
• If you bought her Guitar Hero for Valentines Day … you might need to work on your romance.
• If the only time the two of you go away for the weekend it’s to a deer camp or deer blind … you might need to work on your romance.
• If your wife wears socks, sweats and an oversized t-shirt to bed on your anniversary … you might need to work on your romance.
• If the last time you “really” kissed her you were watching a football game out of the corner of your eye … you might need to work on your romance.
• If you only light candles to cover up unwanted smells … you might need to work on your romance.
• If you really don’t feel comfortable being intimate if your kids are in the same house, city or time zone … you might need to work on your romance.
• If the last time she ran her fingers through your hair she was checking for ticks … you might need to work on your romance.
• If the 3 little words you say to her most often are … “pull my finger” … you might need to work on your romance.
• If the only time your spouse says to you, “Turn off the lights and lock the door,” is when your parents pull into the driveway … you might need to work on your romance.

These are all in good fun, but seriously … romance never has to fade from your marriage. Romance in your marriage takes work and communication.  God fully intended for you to be married to your soulmate … not just a roommate.  Want some suggestions on how to be romantic? Try this and this.