I’ll be honest with you: there are mornings I wake up and wonder if I should even be speaking into the lives of other parents. If you walked into the Goyer home on a Tuesday, you might see more struggles than successes. You might see a houseful of people—some with trauma backgrounds, all with sinful hearts—bouncing off each other until the noise is deafening.

I share this because I’ve realized that if it’s happening in my home, it’s probably happening in yours, too.

The world our kids are growing up in is loud, fast, anxious, and spiritually confusing. We’re not just teaching lessons. As we homeschool, we’re discipling hearts and shaping identity. 

The heart of homeschooling means saying “yes” to time and family and “no” to hurry. It means listening more than lecturing and asking questions rather than pointing fingers. If you feel tired or unsure, you’re not alone. Your steady love, messy faithfulness, and willingness to try again matter more than you think.

Jesus in the Noise and Weariness

When we look at the life of Christ, we see a Savior who was intimately acquainted with being “interrupted” by the needs of emotional people.

• When He was tired: In Mark 4:38, Jesus was so exhausted that He fell asleep on a boat during a literal storm. When His disciples woke Him in an emotional panic, He didn’t shame them. He addressed the storm and then redirected their faith.
• When people were emotional: When Mary and Martha were weeping in grief (John 11), Jesus didn’t give a lecture on theology first. He wept with them. He met their outburst with His presence.
• When life was loud: In Mark 6, the crowds were so pressing that Jesus and the disciples “did not even have a chance to eat.” Life was demanding and physically draining.

Jesus didn’t wait for a quiet classroom to do His best work. He stepped right into the middle of the loud mess.

The Healer and the Sick

Matthew 9:12 tells us, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” This is the heartbeat of our homes. If our children were already “well,” they wouldn’t need the intensive, daily discipleship we provide.

We often think of homeschooling as a way to create a bubble, but in reality, it is a laboratory for grace. We aren’t just teaching math. Instead, we are teaching our kids what to do with their sin. 

When we admit to our kids, “I am tired, and I am struggling to stay patient,” we are modeling the very thing they need to learn: how to turn to the Healer when we realize we are the ones who are “sick.”

The World is Loud (And the Bubble is Breaking)

We once had a family move in just two doors down from us. The influences they brought were so massive that they eventually played a part in our decision to move to the next town. But we quickly learned that moving didn’t stop the problems, because those connections had already been made.

Whether it’s a neighbor, a church friend, or the world tucked inside a smartphone, the loud voices of this culture are rising up everywhere. If you’ve managed to keep your kids in a bubble so far, I am truly glad. But eventually, every child has to face the wind. Our job isn’t just to shield them; it’s to teach them how to stand when the storm is howling.

Safe Harbors in the Pages of a Story

One of the most powerful tools we have in a loud world is the power of story. Story is a “safe” place to experience danger. In the pages of a Christian novel, a teen can walk through pain, hardship, and obstacles with a guide.

In my WWII novels, like From Dust and Ashes or By The Light of the Silvery Moon, characters face life-and-death choices and the deafening noise of war and tragedy. 

When a teen reads about a character facing a hard choice, they “experience” the consequences on the page rather than in their own life. It gives them a mental map for when the world starts whispering things that run counter to everything we hold dear.

A “Selah” for the Weary Parent

To “go and do likewise” in a houseful of big emotions means we stop seeing “explosions” as interruptions to our work and start seeing them as the work itself. This week, I challenge you to try a 60-Second Selah.

The word Selah means “to pause and weigh.” When the noise rises, don’t react immediately. Step into the hallway, breathe, and pray: “Lord, give me Your heart for this child right now.” Your weakness isn’t an obstacle to God’s work in your kids; it’s often the very place where they see His strength most clearly (2 Corinthians 12:9). When we are overwhelmed, we don’t need a ten-point plan. Instead, we need small, holy shifts that invite Jesus into the room.

Your “Loud World” Action Steps

If you feel like you are drowning in the noise today, take a breath. Discipleship isn’t about doing more. It’s about being with Jesus in the middle of the “much.” Here are three intentional pivots for your week:

• The 60-Second Selah: When a child’s attitude flares or the house feels like it’s vibrating with tension, don’t react immediately. Step into the hallway, the pantry, or even the bathroom. Take sixty seconds to breathe and pray: “Lord, I don’t have the peace for this, but You do. Give me Your heart for this child right now.”
• The Connection Bridge: Tonight, set aside the “shoulds” of the curriculum or the chores. Grab a story together—perhaps a chapter of your favorite Christian novel. Don’t use it as a lecture point. Just sit together. Let the story do the heavy lifting of opening a door to their heart while you simply offer your presence.
• The Grace Confession: When you blow it (and we all do) don’t hide in shame. Model what it looks like to be “sick needing a Healer.” Look your child in the eye and say, “I was impatient and loud, and I am so sorry. Will you forgive me? I’m still learning how to lean into Jesus, too.” This is the most powerful discipleship tool in your cabinet.

A Prayer for the Weary Parent

Heavenly Father,

I lift up the mom or dad reading this right now whose heart is heavy and whose ears are ringing from the noise of a loud world. Lord, You know the weight of the “hard choices” their children are making. You see the trauma backgrounds, the sensory overloads, and the deep, silent worries that keep them awake at night.

I thank You that You aren’t a God who demands a perfect home before You show up. You are the Healer who meets us right on the kitchen floor. When the world feels fast and spiritually confusing, help us to hear Your still, small voice. Give us the courage to choose connection over correction and to lean in when we really want to pull away.

Lord, bless their “messy faithfulness.” Remind them today that they are not alone and that their steady love is making an eternal impact, even when they can’t see it. We trust You with our children’s stories, knowing that You are the Great Author who is still writing. In the powerful name of Jesus, Amen.

Additional Resources

How to Create a Legacy Bible: An Instructional Guide for Passing on Faith Across Generations

Leslie Nunnery and I share a practical roadmap for embedding your personal faith journey into the pages of Scripture. How to Create a Legacy Bible helps you craft a personalized handbook of faith, filled with stories and prayers that will speak to your children and grandchildren for years to come. As parents, we are stewards of our family’s faith journey, and this book shows you how to ensure that light shines through your lineage.

Discover the Power of One Prayer

Prayers that Changed History: From Christopher Columbus to Helen Keller, how God used 25 people to change the world.

History is often told through the lens of great deeds, but the most significant shifts often began on someone’s knees. In Prayers That Changed History, I share the stories of twenty-five notable people—like Martin Luther and Sojourner Truth—whose lives were transformed by prayer. God is not finished changing the world, and He wants to use your prayers to make history today.

Stay Connected and Encouraged

Building a culture of faith is a daily process, and you don’t have to do it alone. Join our community for daily inspiration and literary encouragement:

• The Daily Bible Podcast on Substack: Start your morning with a “coffee club” atmosphere as we dive into the Word together. Join the conversation here.

• Avid Readers of Christian Fiction: If you love stories that nourish the soul, find your next favorite book and connect with other readers. Subscribe here.

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a chaotic room, feeling your heart pound and your temperature rise? Your face flushes, your skin tingles, and you feel yourself losing control. The frustration bubbles up, and suddenly you want to control the situation, control the people around you, and somehow control yourself.

Whether it is a conflict with a coworker, a misunderstanding with a spouse, or a friend who repeatedly pushes your buttons, we all struggle with anger at times. We live in a world that often tells us our anger is entirely justified. But deep down, there is also a fear pounding with every quickened beat. What if this does not change? What type of angry person will I become?

We know those types of people. The ones who never seem happy. The ones who take out their inner angst on the world and leave a tsunami in their wake. (Truthfully, I’ve been that type of person during a very challenging season of my life!) And if we are completely honest, fears fill us when we see that same seething contempt staring back at us in the mirror. 

The Illusion of Outward Anger

The reality is that anger rarely dispels the hurt. It might make us feel less powerless in the moment, but that feeling cannot be sustained. Outward anger comes from feeling out of control inwardly. When humans feel threatened, they respond in three ways: fight, flight, or freeze. Anger is a way that many of us “fight.” 

However, anger is often a quick, secondary emotion that masks underlying emotions we don’t want to face. Sometimes “mad means sad,” and anger can also mean anxious, afraid, or overwhelmed. 

Anger is one of the easiest emotions to express when we do not want to appear vulnerable. While it may temporarily numb the pain or make us feel powerful for the moment, it doesn’t get rid of the hurt.

Anger is not a character flaw. It is an emotion. But James 1:19 gives us a clear directive:

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

There are times when I didn’t like that verse very much, because it called me out. I have said things and acted in ways I am not proud of. Sometimes I let my mind spiral out of control, jumping down angry paths. But God does not want us to remain in bondage to our anger. He longs for us to find freedom from the pain.

Proverbs 14:29 says, “People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.”

We can be people of understanding. We can be people of peace as we trust God and turn to Him.

Transforming Our Thoughts

How do we actually change? How do we regulate ourselves so we can guide our families and influence our communities?

It starts with our thoughts. Our thoughts control our lives. Our thoughts control our emotions. Our thoughts control our reactions. Here is a simple, practical tool I learned from cognitive therapy to help process those heated moments:

• Catch It: Identify the thought that came BEFORE the emotion. The best way to catch negative thoughts is to use emotions as cues.
• Check It: Reflect on how accurate and useful the thought is. Pause and ask yourself if the thought is true.
• Change It: Change the thought to a more accurate or helpful one as needed.

For example, consider a time when a need is overlooked by a spouse. Is it possible to catch and change the thoughts before you become angry? 

Recently, I was sick and wanted someone to tend to me. I felt anger rising toward my husband—after all, he should see what I need. But then I reframed the thought. He was caring for all the kids and his parents while also working. He was simply used to me being the one to take care of sick family members. Instead of getting angry, I ordered chicken soup and ginger ale through a delivery service. I also became thankful that my husband was taking on extra responsibilities while I was down.

It takes a lot of hard work to reframe our thoughts, and there will be no shortcuts, but it will be worth it. When we turn over our frustrations to God with a clean heart, pure motives, and pure trust, God will show up and change us, starting from the inside out.

We can also pray Ephesians 4:31-32 over our lives today:

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

When our hearts are settled and filled, we can experience life’s tantrums with much more peace.

A Prayer for Peace:

Lord, I have no answers. I have nothing to give. Be with me. Be with them. Bring an unexplainable peace to a hard situation. When I feel the tension rising and my thoughts spiraling, remind me to pause. Give me the wisdom to catch my negative thoughts, check them against Your Word, and change them to reflect Your truth. Calm them from the inside out, and calm my own heart, too. Fill my mind with Your Holy Spirit so that I can respond with grace, understanding, and love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Homeschooling is a beautiful journey, but let us be honest: it is not always peaceful. When you are together 24/7, managing math lessons, chores, and different personalities, anger will inevitably show up. Between John and me, we have raised ten children. Seven of our kids came to us through adoption, and anger was often an unwelcome guest in our home. Through over three decades of homeschooling, I have learned that dealing with a child’s anger is less about demanding obedience and more about pointing their hearts toward God.

Anger is not a character flaw. It is an emotion. How we help our kids manage it changes as they grow. Here is a look at how we can guide our children through their anger at different stages of life.

Little Ones: Babies and Toddlers

Infants use crying to get their basic needs met. As they grow into toddlers, they face new frustrations. Often, what we label as bad behavior is really a toddler’s fear, overstimulation, being overtired, or hunger. Toddlers are also frustrated by the skills they have not mastered.

• Set Realistic Goals: We cannot expect a toddler to keep his toys tidy. Focus on simple rules like “no biting or no hitting.”
• Teach Emotions: Labeling emotions helps toddlers understand what is happening inside them. Children need to be taught how to label and manage their feelings, including anger. Saying things like, “You are angry, but it is not okay to hit,” helps toddlers understand emotions better.
• Offer Simple Tools: We can teach our toddlers to take soft breaths, press their hands together, and ask for help and a hug.
• Model the Behavior: Perhaps the best way to teach toddlers to manage anger in healthy ways is to model it. 

Model the Behavior

The best way we can expect young children to stay calm and to control anger is to model how it’s done. For example, imagine you are rushing to get dinner on the table, and your toddler accidentally spills a full cup of sticky juice all over the freshly mopped floor. Your immediate instinct might be to yell or express sharp frustration. Instead, you intentionally pause and narrate your feelings out loud so your child can hear your thought process.

You might say, “Oh no. I am feeling really frustrated right now because I worked hard to clean this floor, and now there is a big mess. I am going to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and ask God to help me calm down.”

After taking a literal, visible deep breath, you gently turn to your child and say, “Accidents happen, but next time we need to keep our cups on the table. Let’s get a towel and clean this up together.”

When we openly demonstrate our own need for self-control and rely on the Holy Spirit to guide our reactions, our children learn that big emotions are normal, but we do not have to let those feelings dictate our actions (Galatians 5:22-23, ESV).

Growing Minds: School-Aged Kids

With school-aged children, I like to emphasize relationship over rigor. This is the stage where we can really start teaching them how their thoughts impact their feelings. They are old enough to understand that anger is a choice.

• Use the 3 Cs: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy offers a great tool for this age.
  • Catch It: Identify the thought that came BEFORE the emotion. The best way to catch negative thoughts is to use emotions as cues.
  • Check It: Reflect on how accurate and useful the thought is.
  • Change It: Change the thought to a more accurate or helpful one as needed.
• Praise the Good: I learned to be exuberant in praise whenever my children were doing the slightest thing right.
• Create a Calm Bag: Fill a bag with things they can squeeze like play dough, a small bottle of bubbles, or paper and a marker to use to express themselves.

How to Use a Calm Bag

Imagine you are sitting in a crowded doctor’s waiting room or trying to help an older sibling finish a math lesson, and you can see your little one’s frustration starting to bubble over. Instead of letting a meltdown take hold, you reach for the Calm Bag. You might hand them a small container of play dough and gently say, “I can see you are feeling really upset right now. Let’s squeeze this dough as hard as we can to let those big feelings out.” Alternatively, you could pull out the bubbles and suggest, “Let’s take a very deep breath and blow a huge bubble to send that angry feeling away.” Having these tangible tools readily available gives your child a safe, physical way to process their emotions before they spiral, guiding them toward peace and self-control (Proverbs 29:11, ESV).

The Transition Years: Tweens and Teens

Pre-teens are often irritable and mouthy. They know how to push their parents’ buttons. Teenagers are attempting to grow into independence, and they may resent parenting. This is the hardest stage, but it is also the most crucial time to remain a steady anchor.

• Avoid Power Struggles: Power struggles never lead to any good. I learned not to care as much about things that will not really matter in the long run.
• Try Affect Labeling: This is the process of listening to another person’s emotional experience and reflecting back those emotions in short, simple “You” statements. A typical affect label would be: “You are angry.” Unlike other forms of reflective listening, when you wish to calm someone down, you must ignore the words and focus on the emotions.
• Fill Their Love Tank: We discover that when their love tank is full, we have far fewer problems with anger. Fifteen minutes of quality alone time does a wonderful job of filling my kids’ love tanks.
• Give Space: Give your teen time and space to process her emotions. Do not feel as if you have to deal with the situation in the moment. Space allows teens time to calm down.

Our kids are reachable, but we have to reach out. The love, care, affection, and commitment we provide give them their best chance. Dealing with anger in your home can be challenging at times, but it is also doable. When we rely on God’s strength and choose empathy over lectures, we can guide our families toward true peace.

Additional Resources

Calming Angry Kids

Are slammed doors and hurting hearts a daily reality in your family? Parenting children with chronic anger is exhausting. Raising ten children, including through adoption, has shown me firsthand the deep challenges of navigating those intense emotions. We often feel like peace is out of reach.

In my book, Calming Angry Kids, I draw on my own experience to help you find a better path. We will focus on understanding what is going on in your child’s brain and prioritizing connection. As the guide highlights, we must “focus on relationship over rules” and “teach a child how to handle frustrations without outbursts” (Goyer, Calming Angry Kids).

This journey is about establishing a standard of respect in the home while controlling how we express our own anger. Every chapter includes reflection questions and action steps to guide weary parents. With a 4.3 rating from 143 reviews on Goodreads, many families are already finding the tools they need.

Peace in your home is within reach. You can grab your copy today!

In the quiet moments before the house wakes, or perhaps in the middle of a chaotic afternoon of math lessons and laundry, we have a unique calling. As homeschooling parents, we are the ones who see it all. We see the spark of understanding in a difficult subject, and we see the meltdowns that come from sheer exhaustion. We know our kids’ hearts because we are with them through every transition of the day.

This constant presence is a beautiful weight. It can feel like there is never enough time to truly pour into their souls when the physical needs are so loud. Yet, we are told in Revelation 1:5-6 that Jesus Christ has freed us from our sins and made us a kingdom of priests for God, His Father. As a priest in your home, you have the authority to stand in the gap for your children.

The Ancient Blessing

The Lord spoke to Moses, giving him a specific way to bless the people. This “Aaronic Blessing” is a foundation for our own homes—one that we can pray over our children:

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." (Numbers 6:24-26)

When we pray these words, we are asking God to wrap His protection around the students in our schoolroom and to let His grace be the primary teacher in our day.

Three Scriptural Blessings for Your Children

As a homeschooling parent, you know your children’s specific strengths and their deepest struggles. This cam help you tailor your prayers to their unique spirits. Here are three blessings to speak over them today:

1. A Blessing for Wisdom and Growth

When the curriculum feels heavy, or a child struggles with focus, pray for a mind that is attuned to God’s truth.

The Prayer: “May you be filled with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives.” (Colossians 1:9)

2. A Blessing for a Tender Heart

In the friction of sibling squabbles and long hours together, pray for a spirit of kindness to take root.

The Prayer: “May you be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

3. A Blessing for Courageous Faith

As we prepare our children to eventually step out into the world, pray that their confidence remains anchored in the Lord rather than their own abilities.

The Prayer: “May you be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

A Moment of Grace

Mom, please don’t see this as another item to add to your to-do list. You do not need an hour of silence to be a faithful witness to your children. Sometimes the most powerful blessing is the one whispered over a lunch plate or spoken while folding a basket of socks. Prayer is the best way to help our children and ourselves as we parent.

Your work today has eternal value. Every prayer you breathe is a seed planted in the soil of their hearts. When we pray, we are asking God to work in ways we cannot. All glory and power to Him forever and ever! Amen.

Continue Your Journey of Prayer and Legacy

As we labor in our homes to point our children toward Christ, we have the opportunity to leave a tangible roadmap of our faith. If you are looking for more ways to ground your family in the Word and the power of prayer, I invite you to explore these resources:

Create a Lasting Heritage

In How to Create a Legacy Bible: An Instructional Guide for Passing on Faith Across Generations 

Leslie Nunnery and I share a practical roadmap for embedding your personal faith journey into the pages of Scripture. This guide helps you craft a personalized handbook of faith, filled with stories and prayers that will speak to your children and grandchildren for years to come. As parents, we are stewards of our family’s faith journey, and this book shows you how to ensure that light shines through your lineage.

Discover the Power of One Prayer

Prayers that Changed History: From Christopher Columbus to Helen Keller, how God used 25 people to change the world

History is often told through the lens of great deeds, but the most significant shifts often began on someone’s knees. In Prayers That Changed History, I share the stories of twenty-five notable people—like Martin Luther and Sojourner Truth—whose lives were transformed by prayer. God is not finished changing the world, and He wants to use your prayers to make history today.

Stay Connected and Encouraged

Building a culture of faith is a daily process, and you don’t have to do it alone. Join our community for daily inspiration and literary encouragement:

• The Daily Bible Podcast on Substack: Start your morning with a “coffee club” atmosphere as we dive into the Word together. Join the conversation here.
• Avid Readers of Christian Fiction: If you love stories that nourish the soul, find your next favorite book and connect with other readers. Subscribe here.

There’s something we don’t talk about enough. We love the moment of transformation. The healing, the miracle, and the breakthrough. The tears at the altar. The prayer that changes everything. We love the before-and-after story.

Before: broken.
After: healed.

Before: lost.
After: found.

Before: bound.
After: free.

And yes, Jesus absolutely changes everything. But then comes the after. The day after the miracle. The week after the decision. The months after surrender.

What does life look like then? Because the truth is, meeting Jesus doesn’t mean life suddenly becomes perfect. It means life becomes redeemed. 

After we meet Jesus, we feel different, yet we still remember who we used to be. Others do too.

Meeting Jesus doesn’t mean we ignore the previous chapters of our story. Instead, it means now, instead of walking alone, we walk in relationship with the One who restores us. The after is where real life happens.

The Morning After the Well

Inspired by the Samaritan Woman – John 4

The sun had barely risen when she woke. For a moment, she forgot. Forgot the heat of the afternoon sun. Forgot the stranger at the well. Forgot the way His eyes had looked at her.

“Jesus,” she whispered his name. He was so different. She knew right away that he was no ordinary traveler. This man didn’t look at her with lust or power. He looked at her with compassion. He also didn’t narrow his eyes with accusation, but with knowing. 

Meeting Jesus had changed everything. A lightness had filled her chest in a way she’d never known before. That lightness had been hope. It was as if a candle had flickered in her heart, and suddenly she believed that life could be different. That she could be different.

With the morning light, the memories of yesterday came rushing back. The woman’s hand covered her mouth. What had come over her? Instead of keeping the hope for herself, she had wanted to share it, and so she’d run to town. “Come see a man who told me everything I ever did…”

Now, she sat up in bed, her heart pounding. Had it really happened? 

Outside, she could already hear voices in the village street. Sandaled feet walked along dirt paths, as they’d done every day that she could remember. Low murmurs. A woman laughing. She smiled at the sound of the laughter, but then the old doubts resurfaced, unbidden.

Were they talking about her? They had always talked about her. Five husbands. Too many mistakes. Too much shame. 

The worried thoughts came like a flood, and so she closed her eyes and remembered Jesus’ gentle gaze. She remembered how He’d offered her living water … and how she had soaked it up.

Yesterday, for the first time in years, she had walked into town with her head lifted. She had knocked on doors. She had looked neighbors in the eye. She had spoken the name of Jesus aloud. Yet this morning reality was an unwelcome guest.

Now, in the quiet of morning, the old fears returned. What if her neighbors had only listened because they were curious? What if nothing had changed in her town? She rose and dressed, and decided she had to know one way or the other.

What if I’m still the woman they whisper about? 

She pulled her shawl around her shoulders and stepped outside. Footsteps stilled. A dozen sets of eyes turned her way. The women of the village carried their water jars, and the men stopped their work.

At first, no one spoke. Then an older woman approached. A tightness filled her stomach. This was the very woman who used to turn away when she passed. 

“We went,” the older woman said softly. “To see Him.” Tears sprang to her eyes.

“And?” 

The woman smiled as she tucked a gray strand of hair behind her ear. “Now we believe. Or at least some of us do.”

Even as she noticed compassion in the older woman’s eyes, a few others remained distant. They rushed away, and she understood: some would never accept her. Even though she was forgiven, there was much that many would never forget.

The woman who met Jesus at the well stood frozen in the morning light. The village still looked the same. The same dusty roads. The same doors. The same people.  Some of them had discovered what she had discovered: that Jesus was the Christ. For the others, change might come later. Hopefully it would.

The shame that had once clung to her now felt like an old garment falling from her shoulders. The after had begun. Not a perfect life. But a new one.

The Woman at the Well: After the Shame

The Samaritan woman at the well met Jesus carrying years of shame. She went to the well alone, at an odd hour, likely because she was avoiding the judgmental eyes of others. 

Jesus saw her. Not just her past or her mistakes. He saw her. And after that encounter, she ran back to town and told everyone: “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.” 

The woman who had hidden from people now led people to Christ. But can you imagine the aftermath?

Did the whispers stop immediately? Did everyone suddenly forget her past? Probably not.

People may have still looked at her the same way. But she was no longer defined by their opinions. She was defined by the One who had loved her and had forgiven her.  That’s the after. The old labels may still echo, but Jesus gives us a new identity. 

Peter: After the Failure

Simon Peter denied Jesus three times. Can you imagine the weight of that failure after the rooster crowed? The shame. The regret. The replaying of every moment.

Yet after the resurrection, Jesus met Peter again. Jesus did not approach with condemnation, but with restoration in mind. “Do you love Me?”

Three times Jesus asked, and three times He restored what Peter thought was lost. The after for Peter wasn’t perfection. It was a purpose. Peter still had to live with the memory of his failure, but now it no longer defined him. So many of us live there.

Jesus forgives us, but we still wrestle with forgiving ourselves. The after is learning to receive grace every day.

Paul: After the Conversion

Paul the Apostle had one of the most dramatic transformations in Scripture. From persecutor of Christians to preacher of Christ. Yet even Paul wrote words that feel painfully familiar: “For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.” 

That is the real after. The struggle. The battle between flesh and spirit. The habits that don’t break overnight. The thoughts that still need renewing. The old patterns that try to pull us back.

Transformation is instant in the spirit, but growth is often daily in the soul. Following Jesus does not remove every struggle. It gives us Someone to walk through the struggle with.

The Man Born Blind: After the Healing

A man born blind received his sight from Jesus. What joy that must have been. But immediately after came questions. Interrogation. Skepticism. Religious criticism. People debated his miracle. Some even doubted it happened.

Sometimes, after Jesus moves in our lives, others question what God has done. They may not understand the peace we have. They may not understand why we changed. But we do not need everyone’s approval when we have Christ’s presence. The man didn’t need to understand the miracle to live the rest of his days with sight.

The Real After

This is where faith becomes real. The after is:

• waking up and choosing obedience again
• fighting old habits
• resisting old temptations
• facing people who remember who you used to be
• learning new patterns
• rebuilding trust
• renewing your mind
• walking in grace when you stumble

The real after is a mix of joy and struggle. Freedom mixed with growth, and healing mixed with scars. And yet it is beautiful. Because now, in the after, we have Jesus. We don’t have a flawless life. Instead, we have a faithful Savior.

The miracle is not that everything around us changes overnight. The miracle is that we no longer walk through life alone. Jesus is with us in the after. He is with us in the doubts and fears. In the joy, and in the breaking of old habits. In the overcoming of opinions. In the daily surrender. The after is where discipleship lives. And that may be the greatest miracle of all.

Yes, God Has Changed You… But Building Trust Takes Time

Inspired by the Demoniac – Mark 5

The village had gone quiet. For the first time in years, so had he. No screaming. No voices clawing at his mind. No chains.

He sat outside the small house where a family had given him shelter, staring at his own hands in the moonlight. Hands that had once torn at iron. Hands that had bruised his own skin. Hands now still. 

His fingers trembled as he touched his face. No dirt. No blood. No madness. Only tears. 

He couldn’t believe it. The people in the village couldn’t either. He could hear hushed voices. “Can you believe it’s really him?”

“I’m still afraid.”

“Jesus changed him … but will it last?”

The words stung. He understood. Yesterday, children ran from him. Men crossed to the other side of the road. Women pulled their shawls tighter and hurried past the tombs. Now they stared at him in stunned silence. Some looked with wonder, but others with fear. 

He closed his eyes. The memory of Jesus’ voice came back to him. Calm. Strong. Commanding the darkness to leave.

The man had thought freedom would feel like instant joy. But tonight it felt unfamiliar.

Who was he now? 

How do you begin living after years of being broken? How do you face the people who only know the worst version of you? 

A child’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Are you okay?”

He opened his eyes. A little boy stood in the doorway.

The same boy who used to hide behind his mother as they passed the tombs. 

The man swallowed hard. “Yes,” he said quietly.

The boy stepped closer. “You’re different.”

A slow smile spread across the man’s face. “Yes,” he whispered again. “I am.”

The after was not easy. But it was holy.

The Daily Walk of the After

Living in the aftermath of a changed heart requires profound courage. The initial encounter with Jesus brings miraculous rescue. The days following that rescue require steady obedience. 

The woman at the well, Peter, Paul, and the man freed from demons all woke up the next morning to face their communities and their own reflections. We face this reality too. 

You might experience the tug of old habits. You might see hesitation in the eyes of people who know your history. When those moments happen, rely on the truth of God’s ongoing restoration. 

The Apostle Paul offers us deep reassurance for this journey:

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6, NIV).

God does not abandon us after the initial transformation. He stays near to guide our daily steps. He offers fresh grace for the days we stumble. 

The prophet Jeremiah reminds us of this unending provision:

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning" (Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV).

Your story of redemption is actively being written right now. The labels of the past hold no authority over the identity Christ secured for you. Step into the light of this new day. Keep your focus on Jesus, trusting that the One who changed your heart will faithfully walk beside you through every single moment. And that is the hope that we cling to… in the after.

Additional Resources

Journal Through the Bible in 2026

Have you ever wanted to read through the Bible but found yourself giving up? Or even worse, you read the chapters and at the end question how they apply to your life. Tricia Goyer understands. For years she felt frustrated that she couldn’t stick to her commitment to read God’s Word all the way through. Things changed when she found a doable plan and wrote out a daily prayer. Tricia’s heart changed. Her life did, too.

God can bring real transformation into your heart and life when you daily commit to reading your Bible and praying through God’s Word. Praying through the Bible in One Year offers a guided reading plan and a daily prayer starter to help you make God’s Word applicable to your life. Discover the inspiration for real-life transformation.

Purchase a copy of Praying Through the Bible in One Year HERE.

Do you ever feel like you’ve run out of your own words to help your child? Good news! You can turn to the Bible for fresh ones. You don’t need to be a theology scholar to find comfort and direction in Scripture.

Here is a simple, step-by-step guide for using Bible Hub, a free online tool, to find verses that match exactly what your child is going through today.

Step 1: Search by Topic

Bible Hub has a massive library of verses organized by subject. This is the best place to start when you are looking for help with a specific behavior or need.

1. Go to BibleHub.com.
2. In the drop-down list in the right corner, click on “Topical.”
3. Click on the results under “Torrey’s New Topical Textbook” or “Nave’s Topical Bible.”
4. In the search bar, type in a “felt need” or a specific trait. For example: anxiety, patience, kindness, laziness, or courage. These will give you a list of verses specifically about that theme.

Step 2: Choose a Verse That Speaks to Your Heart

Once you see a list of verses, don’t feel like you have to read them all. Scan the short snippets of text.

• Look for “I” or “You” statements: These are often the easiest to turn into prayers.
• Switch Translations: If a verse feels confusing, look for the “Parallel” button. This lets you see the same verse in different versions. The NLT (New Living Translation) or HCSB (Holman Christian Standard Bible) are often very clear and easy to understand for modern readers.

Step 3: Turn the Verse Into a Written Prayer

This is where the magic happens for a homeschooling parent. You take the ancient truth and wrap it around your child’s specific name.

The Formula:

“Lord, I pray that [Child’s Name] would [Action from the Verse]. Please help them to [Benefit from the Verse].”

An Example:

If you looked up “Peace” and found Philippians 4:7 (“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”):

Your Written Prayer: “Lord, I pray that your peace would fill Sarah’s heart today during her math test. Guard her mind from the thoughts that tell her she isn’t smart enough, and let her feel Your calm instead.”

Why Writing It Down Matters

In the rush of homeschooling, we often feel like we can’t take time for what matters. Yet, writing out our prayers helps us slow down and see God’s hand at work in the details of our children’s lives.

When you write these prayers in the margins of your lesson planner or on a sticky note, you are creating a record of God’s faithfulness. You may see your child’s weaknesses, but through these scriptures, you start to see the strength God is building in them.

Praying for Children from Trauma

My husband John and I have adopted seven kids. It is a profound weight to walk beside a child who is navigating the echoes of trauma. Maybe you understand, even if adoption is not part of your family’s story. Trauma comes to families in many ways.

As a homeschooling parent, you are on the front lines, seeing the way these wounds manifest in a search for identity through things that don’t truly satisfy. Our children’s struggles are not just problems to be solved, but invitations to pray more deeply and love more fiercely. 

Kids who’ve faced trauma are often drawn toward unhealthy influences and substances. Parent, you have the privilege of standing as a priest for your teen, speaking God’s truth over those exact areas.

Here are four scriptures tailored to these struggles, with placeholders for your child’s name:

1. A Prayer for Identity and Belonging

When a child is drawn to “tough” or disrespectful crowds in search of a sense of self, we pray that they find their true identity in Christ.

“Lord, I pray that [Child’s Name] would know that he is Your handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which You prepared in advance for him to do. Let him find his belonging in You rather than in the world.” – Inspired by Ephesians 2:10

2. A Prayer for a Renewed Mind and Pure Influences

For the struggle with foul music, videos, and negative online relationships, we ask for a shift in what his heart hungers for.

“Father, I ask that [Child’s Name] would no longer conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of his mind. Help him to discern what is good, pleasing, and Your perfect will regarding what he watches and listens to.” – Inspired by Romans 12:2

3. A Prayer for Protection from Substances and Self-Harm

This prayer focuses on the body being a temple and the desire for sobriety and clarity.

“Lord, I pray that [Child’s Name] would understand that his body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in him. I pray he would honor You with his body and choose the life and sobriety found in Your Spirit over any temporary substance.” – Inspired by 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

4. A Prayer for Healing from Trauma and Escape from Deception

For the child searching for “toughness” to cover past pain, we pray for the healing of the heart and the breaking of unhealthy ties.

“Lord, You promised to be close to the brokenhearted and to save those who are crushed in spirit. I pray You would heal the wounds in [Child’s Name]’s past. Lead him away from the path of the wicked and the counsel of the disrespectful, and let his delight be in Your word instead.” – Inspired by Psalm 34:18 and Psalm 1:1-2

In the busy hours of teaching and mothering, remember that prayer isn’t the least we can do; it’s the most important thing we can do for our kids. These words are seeds of life being planted over his heart.

Which of these areas feels most urgent for your family today? Take a moment now to pray.

Continue Your Journey of Prayer and Legacy

As we labor in our homes to point our children toward Christ, we have the opportunity to leave a tangible roadmap of our faith. If you are looking for more ways to ground your family in the Word and the power of prayer, I invite you to explore these resources:

Create a Lasting Heritage

In How to Create a Legacy Bible: An Instructional Guide for Passing on Faith Across Generations 

Leslie Nunnery and I share a practical roadmap for embedding your personal faith journey into the pages of Scripture. This guide helps you craft a personalized handbook of faith, filled with stories and prayers that will speak to your children and grandchildren for years to come. As parents, we are stewards of our family’s faith journey, and this book shows you how to ensure that light shines through your lineage.

Discover the Power of One Prayer

Prayers that Changed History: From Christopher Columbus to Helen Keller, how God used 25 people to change the world

History is often told through the lens of great deeds, but the most significant shifts often began on someone’s knees. In Prayers That Changed History, I share the stories of twenty-five notable people—like Martin Luther and Sojourner Truth—whose lives were transformed by prayer. God is not finished changing the world, and He wants to use your prayers to make history today.

Stay Connected and Encouraged

Building a culture of faith is a daily process, and you don’t have to do it alone. Join our community for daily inspiration and literary encouragement:

• The Daily Bible Podcast on Substack: Start your morning with a “coffee club” atmosphere as we dive into the Word together. Join the conversation here.
• Avid Readers of Christian Fiction: If you love stories that nourish the soul, find your next favorite book and connect with other readers. Subscribe here.

Years ago, one of my kids pushed his math book across the table and crossed his arms. “I hate school,” he said.

As a homeschooling mom, those words stung. I had carefully chosen the curriculum. I had organized our schedule. I had tried to make learning engaging.

My first instinct was correction. “You need to try harder,” I told him. “Life requires perseverance.” But something about his face stopped me. His frustration wasn’t defiance. It was discouragement.

Over the years of raising a large family, biological children and adopted children alike, I’ve realized something important: One of the biggest mistakes parents make is trying to fix behavior before understanding the child behind it.

The “Fix-It” Mentality

Okay, I need to be honest. There’s a reason why I want to “fix” the problem. It’s because I’m impatient. I want things to be better now. I live by my calendar. I also like things done on time. If the curriculum says an assignment is for Monday, I expect it to be done by Monday. The thing is, the curriculum writer doesn’t know my child. They had an assignment and good intentions. And I have a student who, at that moment, is feeling discouraged and incapable. 

That’s why it’s important to start with us. Before we can understand our child, we need to understand ourselves. Why the rush?

The truth is, impatience in parenting often isn’t really about our kids at all. It’s about our own discomfort. When our children struggle, shut down, or lash out, it triggers something deeper in us. Maybe it’s fear that we’re failing. Maybe it’s the pressure to “get it right.” Maybe it’s the vulnerability of not having control.

But if we slow down long enough to really see what’s happening, we realize this:
Our child’s behavior is often a message, not a problem to solve.

My son wasn’t rejecting learning. He was overwhelmed. He felt like he was failing. And instead of saying, “I’m discouraged,” he said the only thing he knew how to say: “I hate school.”

Impatience rushes in when we feel the gap between what we expected and what’s actually happening. Impatience pushes us to correct, to fix, to move things along quickly so we can feel in control again. But understanding asks us to do something harder. It asks us to pause.

• To get curious instead of critical.
• To lean in instead of shut down.
• To ask, “What’s really going on here?”

If I could go back to that moment, I might sit beside him instead of across from him. I might say, “Hey… this feels really hard right now, doesn’t it?” Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer our kids isn’t a solution … it’s compassion and understanding. And here’s the truth I keep learning over and over again: When children feel understood, they become more open to instruction. But when they feel dismissed, they shut down.

Think about it. When was the last time you felt frustrated and someone said, “You just need to try harder.” How did that make you feel? I know it doesn’t help.

So now, when impatience rises in me, and it still does, I try to remember that it’s often pointing to something deeper. Not just in my child, but in me too. Maybe I’m afraid I’m not doing enough, or I think I have someplace else to be. That’s when I take a deep breath, send up a prayer, and ask, “What does my child need right now?”

And maybe the important things in those moments isn’t to fix faster… but to love slower.

Behavior Is Often a Signal

When a child shuts down, acts out, refuses schoolwork, or seems constantly frustrated, parents often focus on the behavior itself. But behavior is usually a signal of something deeper.

A child might be struggling with:

• fear of failure
• feeling unseen or unheard
• academic challenges
• social pressures
• anxiety or overwhelm

When John and I were going through foster care training, we learned the phrase, “Sad is Mad.” So it was being overwhelmed, being worried, or being anxious. It’s easier for kids (for all of us!) to be mad about something than it is to pause and consider what’s really going on. 

When parents respond only with correction, we may miss the real issue entirely. I’ve learned that sometimes the most powerful parenting tool isn’t discipline. It’s curiosity.

Instead of immediately correcting, we can ask: “What’s making this hard for you?” Those conversations often reveal far more than we expect.

Kids Want to Do Well

Most children don’t wake up in the morning thinking, How can I make my parents miserable today? They want to succeed. They want to please the people they love. When they can’t, they often feel ashamed or discouraged.

Child development experts consistently emphasize the power of emotional connection. Psychiatrist Daniel Siegel notes that children flourish when parents create environments where they feel safe, seen, and understood. That connection builds trust. And trust opens the door to growth.

The Power of Listening Parents

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a parent is that listening changes everything.

When kids feel heard, their defenses soften.

Years ago, one of my children struggled constantly with writing assignments. Every time it was time to write, tears followed. Eventually, we sat down and talked. What I discovered surprised me: he didn’t hate writing. He didn’t know how to type. He didn’t like using a pen or pencil. He was also afraid of spelling words wrong and being teased. That fear made every assignment feel overwhelming.

Once we understood the problem, we adjusted our approach to writing. For a while, my son told me his story, and I typed it for him. After that, he started using voice-to-text tools. Over time, he had tools he felt confident in using. It wasn’t that the struggle went away. My son just figured out how to manage it better. Many times, the issue isn’t the subject. It’s the fear behind it.

Discipline Still Matters

Understanding our kids doesn’t mean abandoning discipline. Children still need boundaries and guidance. But discipline works best when it grows out of a relationship. The Bible reminds parents of this balance:

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” —Ephesians 6:4

Correction without relationship leads to resentment. But discipline grounded in love builds wisdom.

What Struggling Kids Really Need From Their Parents

When a child is having a hard time, parents often feel pressure to fix everything immediately.

But sometimes the most powerful response is much simpler.

Children need parents who will:

• listen without rushing to judgment
• ask questions before giving answers
• offer encouragement alongside correction
• remind them that mistakes are part of learning

Kids grow best when they know their struggles don’t make them failures. They simply make them human.

Conclusion

If there’s one thing I hope you carry with you, it’s this: struggling children don’t need perfect parents—they need present ones. They need us to pause long enough to see past the behavior and into their hearts. They need us to quiet our own fears, our timelines, and our expectations so we can truly understand what’s going on beneath the surface.

Because the truth is, the math assignment isn’t the real issue. The messy room isn’t the real issue. The attitude, the tears, the resistance—those are often just the outward expressions of something deeper. And when we choose connection before correction, everything changes.

We begin to build trust instead of tension. We create safety instead of shame. We open doors instead of closing hearts.

Over the years, I’ve learned that the goal isn’t raising children who always get it right. The goal is raising children who feel safe enough to keep trying, who know they are loved even in their struggle, and who trust us enough to let us walk alongside them.

So the next time your child is struggling, take a breath. Lean in. Ask the question that matters most: “What’s really going on here?”

Because sometimes the most powerful parenting happens not when we move faster…
but when we slow down enough to truly see.

A Prayer for Overwhelmed Parents

Lord, Thank You for entrusting these precious children to my care. You know them completely—their strengths, their struggles, their fears, and their hearts. And You know mine too.

When impatience rises in me, help me to pause. When I feel the need to fix everything quickly, remind me to seek understanding first. Give me eyes to see beyond behavior and wisdom to recognize what my child truly needs.

Teach me to listen with compassion, to respond with gentleness, and to lead with love. Help me to create a home where my children feel safe, seen, and valued—even in their hardest moments.

Lord, when I feel overwhelmed or unsure, guide me. Fill in the gaps where I fall short. And shape my parenting to reflect Your heart—full of grace, truth, and patience.

Help my children to know they are not defined by their struggles, but by Your love for them. And remind me daily that the most important work I’m doing isn’t finishing a lesson or checking a box… it’s nurturing a relationship.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Resources to Help Parents Connect With Struggling Children

The Grumble-Free Year

When we are “hustling for worthiness,” we often find ourselves grumbling about what we don’t have. We focus on the lack instead of the abundance of God’s love. In this book, I invite you into my family’s real-life experiment to root out complaining and plant gratitude. It is a journey of discovering that a heart full of praise has no room for begging.

Prayers That Changed History 

Prayer is powerful. In this book, I share the stories of twenty-five historical figures who, like Bartimaeus, called out to God and saw Him move in mighty ways. It is a wonderful way to teach your children that their prayers really do matter to the King.

Wonders of the Ocean Realm

When we open our eyes to creation, we see the majesty of our Creator. This book takes you and your children on a dive into the deep sea to explore the ocean’s breathtaking beauty. It serves as a stunning reminder that the God who designed every colorful fish and coral reef is the same God who is enthralled by your beauty.

Whit’s End Mealtime Devotions: 90 Faith-Building Ideas Your Kids Will Eat Up

Join the beloved characters from Adventures in Odyssey for ninety days of conversation and connection. These devotions are designed to help you gather around the table, laugh together, and feed your family’s souls as well as their bodies.

Faith That Sticks: 5 Real-Life Ways to Disciple Your Preteen 

This book provides a practical, hands-on way to speak life into your family. Use these ideas to cover your home, your car, and your children’s mirrors with God’s truth. It is a simple tool to make sure the message of God’s love sticks in their hearts and minds.

The book of Judges contains harsh realities and difficult stories that can make it a challenging read. However, studying and reflecting on these narratives can yield profound insights into our spiritual lives. Here are a few tips for learning from the “hard” parts of Judges and other tough books of the Bible:

• Read with an open mind and heart, willing to wrestle with the difficulties instead of avoiding them.
• Look for overarching themes and truths that transcend the ancient cultural context.
• Ask how the stories reveal God’s character, ways, and redemptive plan.
• Consider how you can apply the lessons to your own faith journey today.

As I’ve dug into Judges with this mindset, a few timeless truths have emerged that offer great wisdom:

God Goes Before Us

As I reflect on the stories from the book of Judges, a few timeless truths stand out, offering insights into our daily lives and spiritual journeys. These narratives, while ancient, speak directly to the heart of our experiences today, reminding us of the ever-present hand of God in guiding us through every moment.

1. God is always moving ahead of us. He’s clearing the way for our journey, meticulously preparing the path we are to walk. This truth reassures me that no matter my uncertainties or fears, God has already seen what lies ahead and is actively working for my good.

2. Whether in obedience to God’s will or in defiance—both have consequences that ripple far beyond what I can immediately see or understand. This realization urges me to consider my actions and decisions more carefully, recognizing that what may seem insignificant in the moment can have lasting effects on my life and the lives of others.

3. Trusting in God’s plan is absolutely crucial. The stories from Judges highlight the importance of trusting and stepping into the roles God has prepared for us with courage and faith. My willingness to follow His lead is essential even when His plan seems daunting or unclear.

These reflections from the book of Judges have encouraged me to look at my life and the decisions I make through a lens of faith and trust in God’s sovereign plan. They remind me to move forward confidently, knowing that God is always ahead, clearing the way, and calling me to a life of obedience and trust in Him.

Additional Resources

Your Next Step

Transitioning from “crisis mode” to “stewardship mode” doesn’t happen overnight. It starts with one small, intentional choice. What choice will you make today?

Discover Your Extraordinary Purpose in God’s Story

Every woman brings heartfelt questions to the Bible: Why does my life sometimes feel so ordinary? How can I understand my place in God’s story? Every Woman’s Bible doesn’t shy away from these questions. 

Created in community by more than 100 diverse women from every continent, this beautiful NLT Bible explores the grit and faithfulness of women of the Bible, throughout history, and today. Through personal stories, female-authored study notes, and deep reflection, you will help clarify your unique calling.

Included with your purchase: Elevate your study with the free, innovative Filament Bible app. Simply scan any page with your phone to unlock a treasure trove of resources—including 25,000+ study notes, audio Bibles, 350+ videos, interactive maps, and worship music—that illuminate the very verses you are reading.

Every Woman’s Bible is an invitation to a global community and a deep, authentic call to the life you were made for. Start your journey to an extraordinary purpose today.

Journal Through the Bible in 2026

Have you ever wanted to read through the Bible but found yourself giving up? Or even worse, you read the chapters and at the end question how they apply to your life. Tricia Goyer understands.

For years she felt frustrated that she couldn’t stick to her commitment to read God’s Word all the way through. Things changed when she found a doable plan and wrote out a daily prayer. Tricia’s heart changed. Her life did, too.

God can bring real transformation into your heart and life when you daily commit to reading your Bible and praying through God’s Word. Praying through the Bible in One Year offers a guided reading plan and a daily prayer starter to help you make God’s Word applicable to your life. Discover the inspiration for real-life transformation.

Purchase a copy of Praying Through the Bible in One Year HERE.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned after more than three decades of homeschooling and raising a large family, it’s this: kids rarely struggle because they’re “difficult.” Most of the time, they’re struggling because life feels difficult to them.

I’ve raised biological children and adopted children. Some came into our family as babies. Others joined us after experiencing trauma, loss, and instability. Over the years, I’ve homeschooled kids who were eager learners and kids who fought every math problem. I’ve parented children with anxiety, learning challenges, and strong personalities. Through it all, I’ve noticed a common thread:

Today’s kids are overwhelmed. Not because they’re weak. Not because parents have failed. But because childhood itself has become far more complicated.

The Hidden Pressures Kids Carry Today

Children today are growing up in a world filled with constant noise and pressure. They face:

• Endless comparison through social media
• Academic expectations that often value performance over curiosity
• Busy schedules that leave little room for rest
• Exposure to news and world crises at very young ages

Even younger kids often carry emotional loads they were never meant to carry.

Many parents respond by tightening control. I’ve made that mistake before! Okay, the truth is that I still lean that way sometimes. We create rules, more consequences, and more pressure to succeed. But in my experience, what struggling kids need most isn’t control.

They need connection.

As I write this, we’re actually going through a hard season with a few of our teens. They’ve made some poor choices, and the consequences are real. And while I want to pile on more rules, they’re facing natural consequences that teach them valuable lessons. Adding more consequences could be like giving them a shovel to dig a deeper hole. 

Instead, I’m choosing to sit with them. I took my daughter to lunch so I could help her work through her emotions. I sat with my son as he worried about his future. I reminded them that they are loved, even when they make mistakes. I reminded them that they are not alone. I want them to know they can come to me with anything. I also told them I believe in their ability to grow and change. Most of all, I want them to know that their worth is not tied to their performance, and God loves them unconditionally. We do, too.

Kids Thrive When They Feel Known

In our homeschool days, learning has happened around the kitchen table, on the couch, and sometimes on the floor, surrounded by books. But the most important thing that happened in our home wasn’t academics. It was relationship.

When kids feel deeply known, when they believe their parents truly see them, it changes everything.

Psychiatrist Daniel Siegel, author of The Whole-Brain Child, explains that children thrive when they feel “seen, soothed, safe, and secure.” Those four experiences build the emotional foundation for healthy development. I’ve watched this play out in our home again and again … with our children, our teens, and even our adult kids.

One of my kids used to shut down whenever schoolwork became hard. At first, I responded the way many parents do: with frustration and lectures about responsibility. But eventually I realized the real issue wasn’t laziness. It was fear of failure. Once we started talking about those fears, something shifted. The resistance softened. Learning became possible again. Connection opened the door.

Character Matters More Than Perfect Grades

One benefit of homeschooling is that it naturally shifts the focus away from competition and toward growth. Of course, academics matter. Education is important. But after raising many kids into adulthood, I can say with confidence: Character matters far more than report cards. The qualities that serve kids most in life aren’t perfect test scores. There are things like:

• resilience
• humility
• responsibility
• compassion
• Perseverance

Scripture reminds us of this deeper goal of parenting:

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” —Proverbs 22:6

That “way” isn’t simply academic success. It’s a life rooted in wisdom, faith, and integrity. To see my adult children living with kindness, purpose, and moral courage is the greatest success I’ve known. That’s what I want for every child. The wonderful thing is seeing them pass on their values, faith, and love of Jesus to their own children.

Family Culture Shapes Kids More Than We Realize

One thing I’ve learned is that family culture quietly shapes children every day. It’s not built through grand parenting strategies. It’s built through ordinary rhythms. These are the things we do over and over again. They are simple things that can be added to every day:

• shared meals
• conversations in the car
• bedtime prayers
• laughter around the dinner table
• working together to solve problems

These small moments create something powerful: belonging. Kids who feel like they truly belong in their family carry that security with them into the world.

In our home, we’ve tried to emphasize that we’re a team. Or, as some people like to call us, “Goyer Nation.” Everyone contributes. Everyone matters. We’re all here for each other. We lift each other up and help each other out.

Sometimes that looks like helping cook dinner. Other times, it’s helping out with younger siblings. Responsibility helps kids understand they are needed, and that feeling builds confidence.

The Power of Purpose

One thing I’ve noticed about resilient kids is that they believe their lives have meaning. They know they were created for something bigger than themselves. For our family, faith has played a huge role in shaping that perspective. We remind our kids often that God has a purpose for their lives. As the prophet Jeremiah wrote:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” —Jeremiah 29:11

When children grow up believing their lives have purpose, setbacks don’t define them. Hard seasons become part of their story, not the end of it.

What Kids Need Most From Parents

After decades of parenting and homeschooling, I’ve come to believe that most kids don’t need more pressure. They need parents who will:

1. Prioritize relationship over performance. Kids learn best when they feel safe and supported, not constantly evaluated.

2. Listen before correcting. Many behaviors are actually signals of deeper struggles.

3. Build strong family rhythms. Simple habits—shared meals, conversations, prayer—anchor children emotionally.

4. Teach responsibility. Kids grow in confidence when they are trusted with meaningful roles.

5. Point them toward purpose. Children need to know their lives matter and that they were created for something good.

Hope for Parents Who Feel Overwhelmed

If you’re a parent reading this and feeling discouraged, I want to offer some hope. You don’t have to be a perfect parent. You don’t need the perfect school system or the perfect curriculum. What children need most cannot be purchased or downloaded. They need presence. They need patience. They need parents who keep showing up.

Over the years, I’ve watched kids who struggled in childhood grow into remarkable adults—men and women who love others well, pursue meaningful work, and walk closely with God. And the common thread wasn’t perfect parenting. It was something much simpler. They grew up in homes where they were loved, guided, and reminded again and again: You belong here. And your life matters.

Resources to Deepen Your Faith and Family Connection

The Grumble-Free Year

When we are “hustling for worthiness,” we often find ourselves grumbling about what we don’t have. We focus on the lack instead of the abundance of God’s love. In this book, I invite you into my family’s real-life experiment to root out complaining and plant gratitude. It is a journey of discovering that a heart full of praise has no room for begging.

Prayers That Changed History 

Prayer is powerful. In this book, I share the stories of twenty-five historical figures who, like Bartimaeus, called out to God and saw Him move in mighty ways. It is a wonderful way to teach your children that their prayers really do matter to the King.

Wonders of the Ocean Realm

When we open our eyes to creation, we see the majesty of our Creator. This book takes you and your children on a dive into the deep sea to explore the ocean’s breathtaking beauty. It serves as a stunning reminder that the God who designed every colorful fish and coral reef is the same God who is enthralled by your beauty.

Whit’s End Mealtime Devotions: 90 Faith-Building Ideas Your Kids Will Eat Up

Join the beloved characters from Adventures in Odyssey for ninety days of conversation and connection. These devotions are designed to help you gather around the table, laugh together, and feed your family’s souls as well as their bodies.

Faith That Sticks: 5 Real-Life Ways to Disciple Your Preteen 

This book provides a practical, hands-on way to speak life into your family. Use these ideas to cover your home, your car, and your children’s mirrors with God’s truth. It is a simple tool to make sure the message of God’s love sticks in their hearts and minds.

Spring is knocking at the door, and I couldn’t be happier. Welcoming spring means welcoming Easter. And the truth is, I love the idea of Easter, yet too many times, I never get to the “reverence and joy” part of Easter because I’m caught up in the whirlwind of daily tasks. Maybe you feel like this, too?

The “Busy Mom Syndrome”

It’s often hard to align our hearts with Easter’s true meaning when we’re focused on the meal, gathering, gifts, and new dresses.

Often, Easter can feel like adding another heavy stone to our load. Then, when Easter morning comes, we yearn to display both solemn reverence and radiant joy, but we often find ourselves reaching into an unfilled well. 

To you, the tireless mom navigating the endless demands of life while yearning for a meaningful connection with Easter, I extend my hand. It’s a gesture filled with understanding and companionship. 

The challenge of finding spiritual renewal amidst the hustle of everyday life is one I know well. For this reason, I encourage you to carve out intentional moments each day, from now until Easter, five minutes at a time. Small moments like these can help us to rekindle our faith and immerse ourselves in the thankfulness of Jesus’ sacrifice and glorious resurrection.

3 Ways to Slow Down this Easter Season

1. Dive Deep into the Easter Story. First, begin by reading the Easter narrative with purpose and passion. This can be more than revisiting a familiar tale. Instead, see it as an invitation to let the profound reality of Jesus’ sacrifice and the victory of His resurrection deeply touch you. As you read, ask Jesus to spark transformation within.

For starters, I encourage you to meditate on these two Scripture passages: First, Isaiah 53:5 reminds us of the sacrifice made for us:

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds, we are healed." 

Then, Luke 24:6-7 heralds in the triumph of the resurrection:

"He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’"

Between now and Easter, read those passages. Then spend in moment in prayer. Each day ask God to reveal more to your heart.

2. Seek Joy in the Mundane: Even in the middle of an ordinary day, attempt to cultivate a heart of gratitude. There can be splendor in the ordinary and important lessons embedded in trials. Each day, as we seek joy, we have endless opportunities for love and growth in our interactions with our children and others.

3. Foster Daily Conversations with God: Create space in your life for God to speak. Praying for our needs is good. Equally important is taking time to listen. Each day, allow God’s still, quiet Spirit to renew and prepare your heart for the full embrace of Easter’s joy and reverence. Together, let us move towards an Easter filled with deepened faith, hope, and love.

May we open our hearts to the awe-inspiring wonder that comes from engaging deeply with Jesus’ resurrection story. May this story inspire, reshape, and draw us closer to God’s heart. With each small step, may our hearts be filled with a profound sense of joy and reverence, ready to celebrate Easter morning with spirits brimming.

This year, I pray this Easter season draws you nearer to the essence of celebrating Jesus’ resurrection. May your journey be filled with joy. May your challenges be overcome with peace.

In this journey, we shouldn’t aim for perfection or overwhelm ourselves with too many tasks. Instead, seek simplicity and authenticity. In just a few minutes each day, you will begin to prepare your heart, marveling at the wonder of the resurrection. By weaving these practices into our daily lives, we can transform ordinary moments into divine encounters… just in time for Easter.

How will you slow down this year? Share with me in the comments below!

Additional Resources for the Busy Mom

The house is quiet, the coffee is warm in my favorite mug, and my heart is ready. I love a deep novel, and I’m always looking for ways to grow through a helpful self-help book. Attending church and lifting my voice in prayer are pillars of my life. Yet, I’ve realized that while prayer is me talking to God, the most transformational habit I’ve developed to hear Him speak back has been daily Bible reading.

When Your “Ordinary” Meets His Extraordinary

I remember being a scared teen mom, looking for any shred of stability in a world that felt like it was crumbling. It was in the pages of Scripture that I found a promise to hold onto:

"‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a hope and a future’" (Jeremiah 29:11, NLT).

Later, God’s Word called John and me to a holy “yes” when we read in James:

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you" (James 1:27, NLT). 

Even on the days when my soul feels weary and the “ordinary” feels heavy, the Word settles me.

I read in Zephaniah that "the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs" (Zephaniah 3:17, NLT). 

He truly is a gentle warrior who sings over us.

A Morning Encounter with Compassion

Just this morning, I sat with the story of a man who reached out in total desperation.

"In one of the villages, Jesus met a man with an advanced case of leprosy. When the man saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground, begging to be healed. ‘Lord,’ he said, ‘if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.’ Jesus reached out and touched him. ‘I am willing,’ he said. ‘Be healed!’ And instantly the leprosy disappeared" (Luke 5:12-13, NLT).

That spoke to my heart as I lifted my own requests before God. It reminded me of His compassion, His “willingness,” to meet us exactly where we are, whether we are facing a physical ailment or a spiritual burden. Without a doubt, my mind and heart are different today because of time in God’s Word.

Why I Reach for Every Woman’s Bible

No matter what my day looks like, I make sure God’s Word is a priority. Some days I listen to a Bible app, but I truly prefer sitting with my physical Bible. I focus better when I’m not distracted by phone notifications.

Lately, I’ve been diving into the Every Woman’s Bible. It is a study Bible for the heart and mind, and it feels like sitting down with a global community of sisters. It features contributions from over one hundred women, scholars and writers from around the world. These women offer cultural and historical context that makes the text come alive!

I especially love the quotes from godly women in history and the life application sections where wise believers apply God’s Word to our lives today. Also, when I wanted to study a specific topic there are indexes to help me navigate the Bible more efficiently.

Today, after reading that passage in the book of Luke, I turned to the index for “compassion.” It led me straight to a beautiful truth in the book of Psalms:

"Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins" (Psalm 51:1, NLT). 

As I closed my Bible, my heart was filled with thankfulness for my salvation and the many ways God has healed me: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My day will be different because I took time to read His Word and seek God first.

Navigating the Living Word

If you are new to the Bible, it can feel like walking into a massive library without a map. Here is a simple way to understand how it’s put together:

• The Old Testament: This is the first part of the Bible. It tells the story of God’s relationship with His people before Jesus was born. It’s filled with history, poetry, and promises of the Savior to come.
• The New Testament: This begins with the birth of Jesus (the Gospels). It shares His life, His sacrifice, and the beginning of the early church. It is the fulfillment of those Old Testament promises. 

If you’ve never read the Bible before, start in the New Testament. I love recommending the NLT because it’s a modern translation that’s easier to understand. I also encourage new readers to start with the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John).

How to Find a Verse 

If you haven’t read the Bible before, you may wonder how to find a verse. Think of a reference like an address. In Luke 5:12, “Luke” is the book, “5” is the chapter (the big number), and “12” is the verse (the tiny number).

At the beginning of the Bible, there is a table of contents. In the Every Woman’s Bible, there is an alphabetical listing of Bible Books. After you find the correct Book (in this case, Luke), you can look up the chapter, then the verse. Don’t worry, you’ll pick it up!

A 7-Day Journey: Finding Your Story in His

If you’ve never made daily reading a habit, or if you need a refreshment, I want to encourage you to pick up a copy of the Every Woman’s Bible for yourself and one for a friend. Reading together creates a beautiful bond. 

Use this simple plan to begin. Read the verses, then ask: What does this tell me about God’s heart for me?

Day 1: You are Created with Purpose – Psalm 139:13-16

Day 2: God’s Unfailing Love – Romans 8:38-39

Day 3: Finding Rest for Your Soul – Matthew 11:28-30

Day 4: Wisdom for Your Path – Proverbs 3:5-6

Day 5: Strength in Your Weakness – Isaiah 40:29-31

Day 6: The Gift of New Beginnings – Lamentations 3:22-23

Day 7: Your Hope and Future – Jeremiah 29:11

Start Your Journey Today

1. Find a quiet spot: Grab your coffee and leave your phone in the other room.
2. Start small: You don’t have to read whole chapters at a time. Start with the verses above.
3. Use the tools: Look up a word like “peace” or “hope” in the Every Woman’s Bible index and see where God leads you.
4. Reflect: Ask God how that verse applies to your life today.

A Prayer for Your Journey

Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of Your Word. I pray for the woman reading this right now, that You would spark a hunger in her heart to know You more. As she opens her Bible, speak to her specific needs and reveal Your extraordinary purpose for her life. Amen.

The “Why” Behind the Word

Most of us are looking for two things: Autonomy and Purpose. We want to know that our lives aren’t just a series of random events, but a meaningful story we are actually meant to live.

The Problem: We’re looking for the “how-to” in the wrong places. We check our notifications for validation and our calendars for worth.

The Science of the Shift: There’s a profound cognitive and emotional shift that happens when you move from “scanning” information to “absorbing” truth. It’s the difference between looking at a map and actually taking the journey.

The Solution: Every Woman’s Bible

This isn’t just another book on the shelf. It’s a resource designed for the heart and mind, curated by over 100 women scholars from every corner of the globe. It provides the cultural clarity you need to understand the past and the personal inspiration you need to navigate the present.

Think of it as the ultimate “Drive” for your spiritual life. Discover your story. Find your “why.” Join a global community of women who are finding extraordinary purpose in the pages of God’s Word. Get started today.

Discover God’s heart for you at EveryWomansBible.com

I’ve been a fan of Resurrection Eggs for Easter for many years. I started using them years ago with the young women in Teen MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). Many of these young women had never heard the TRUE Easter story, and it was a great way to share the gospel in a fun and non-threatening way.

I’ve always been excited to use Resurrection Eggs with my kids. When they were younger (ages six, four, and three), I decided it would be too hard to do them all in one day (because of their attention span), so we used them over Easter week.

My kids loved the eggs. They enjoyed opening them and revealing the object. They loved hearing the story of Jesus. And it opened up great conversations. For example, most children’s Bibles or storybooks do not talk much about Judas’ betrayal of Jesus, but the coins in the second day revealed the true motives of Judas’ heart.

If you’re looking for a fun and insightful way to share the gospel go to your local Christian bookstore and pick up Resurrection Eggs!

Rediscover a perennial Easter classic: Resurrection Eggs! Each of these twelve colorful plastic eggs holds a different memory-grabbing object to take Jesus’ journey to the cross and beyond right into children’s hearts—from home to the classroom to the neighborhood hunt. The English/Spanish bilingual booklet uses simple language for children. Discover how the anticipation, surprise, and experience of Resurrection Eggs has helped Easter come alive for children around the globe.

Check out the free printable Resurrection Egg family activity here!

What special Easter traditions does your family hold dear? Share them with me in the comments below!

Hope and Refreshment for Homeschooling Parents

Need more ideas and advice on homeschooling? Pick up a copy of Homeschool Basics. Receive tried-and-true homeschool advice from veteran homeschooling moms Tricia Goyer and Kristi Clover. We dish out practical help on getting started and staying the course.

Homeschool Basics will remind you that the best homeschooling starts with the heart.

Packed with ideas to help you push aside your fears and raise kids who will grow to be life-long learners. Kristi and I believe that homeschooling can transform your life, your home, and your family. Mostly, we believe homeschooling can truly prepare your children for the life God’s called them to live. Don’t let doubts hold you back any longer.

Get Homeschool Basics on Amazon Now!

Jennie K. Drollinger is the co-author of As Sure as the Stars, a novel inspired by her real-life second-chance romance with the boy she first loved as a teenager in 1980s Alaska. After spending more than 25 years in the fashion retail industry, Jennie embraced another unexpected second chance by building a new career as a paralegal. Working closely with families navigating divorce nearly caused her to lose faith in lasting love — until a reunion decades later with Bryan, the boy she met in 1985, reignited a story she thought had ended.

Their journey from high school sweethearts to long-lost friends and finally husband and wife captured national attention when they were named the 2025 America’s Favorite Couple. Today, Jennie shares her message of hope, faith, and renewal through her writing, speaking, and as host of the podcast Second Chance on Love: Side B, where she highlights real stories of restored relationships and new beginnings.

Jennie lives for storytelling that reminds others it’s never too late to begin again — because sometimes the most meaningful love stories don’t start over… they come back around.

Connect with Jennie on her website, Instagram, Facebook, and X, and subscribe to her newsletter.

More about As Sure as the Stars

They captured America’s heart on camera. Now, step into the story that captured theirs.

When millions watched the winners of America’s Favorite Couple share their reunion story—a pair of high school sweethearts who found each other again after thirty-five years apart—it captured the nation’s imagination.

But what if we could see the story behind the headlines?

In As Sure as the Stars, that’s exactly what you’ll find.

Kelly Richardson thought she had love all figured out—once. At seventeen, she was the girl who believed in forever. Jake Forester was the boy who made her believe it. They danced under the Alaskan stars, made promises, and dreamed about a future that was never meant to be.
Then life happened. Choices. Distance. Silence.

Now, decades later, Kelly is a successful divorce attorney in Boise, Idaho—helping other women pick up the pieces of broken vows while quietly wondering if love is just a beautiful lie. Then one morning, she looks up and sees Jake again, and her carefully constructed world begins to shake.

Jake’s now a father of six, and a man carrying his own regrets. As they’re brought together by friends—and maybe by providence—Kelly begins to realize that sometimes the hardest part of love isn’t losing it, but letting it return.

Spanning from the golden nights of 1980s Alaska to the quiet ache of present-day Boise, As Sure as the Stars takes readers behind the cameras and into the hearts of two people whose fictional journey mirrors a very real one. It’s a tender, faith-filled portrait of forgiveness, timing, and the kind of love that doesn’t fade—it just waits.

Purchase a copy of As Sure as the Stars.

Enter to win an 80s Swag Pack, including a copy of As Sure as the Stars

Q&A with Jennie K. Drollinger

ARCF: What was it like to see your private journey of reconnection turned into a story for the whole world to read?

JKD: It was incredibly vulnerable. For so many years, this story lived quietly in my heart- in old memories, letters, music, and moments that felt empty. The process of turning into a story for others to read felt a little like opening a journal you never expected anyone else to hold. A journal that I tossed into a trash bin and pages that miraculously were saved by accident… There were moments of excitement, and of nerves, even a few deep breaths…

There was some healing that came with it. Sharing the missed timing, the misunderstandings, the lost call and the years apart- made the love feel even more real. Instead of feeling exposed, I started hearing from people who saw pieces of their own lives reflected to them. That shifted everything. It stopped being just our story and became something bigger – a reminder that second chances are possible, even after decades.

In the end, it didn’t feel like losing something private. It felt like giving purpose to the journey we walked through. If our story helps even one person believe that love can find its way back -sometimes the long way around – then every vulnerable page was worth it.

The inspiration behind it, honestly, was Jane Eyre, which was one of my favorite novels when I was a teenager. I wanted to write a less-gothic story of an educated orphan teaching at the school whose only option for expanding her world was to become a governess. The hero is like Mr. Rochester in that he is wealthy and powerful and troubled, but he’s different in that he is morally good and kind. He also falls desperately in love with his young half-siblings’ governess. I liked thinking about what he would do, in his desperation to go against his social status and what was socially acceptable, in order to marry his “lowly governess,” and the consequences that would ensue.

ARCF: The public heard about your journey on America’s Favorite Couple, but how did that even happen?

JKD: I thought the whole thing was a racket. I’m not competitive… I don’t even gamble. I only entered because I wanted to hear other people’s stories – be a part of the community. I didn’t do it because I thought ours would win. Apparently, our friends, family, and followers had big plans for us. Nudges from friends who believed our story mattered more than we realized. Let’s just see what happens” moment suddenly turned into sharing our love story with thousands. We entered thinking it would be a small experience, and suddenly we were sharing our love story with thousands of people. What stayed with me most wasn’t the spotlight – it was the sense of community of stories! People weren’t just cheering for Bryan and me; they were rooting for hope, for second chances, and for the idea that timing doesn’t always have the final say. It felt like our story tapped into something universal — a reminder that missed moments don’t mean the ending is written, and sometimes the detours are exactly what lead you back to where you were meant to be all along.

ARCF: How did it feel to revisit your seventeen-year-old self through the character of Kelly?

JKD: Nostalgic! Writing Kelly felt like walking back into those H.S. hallways … big hair, pink pumps, lockers slamming, and a heart that loved deeply but didn’t always know how to say the words. She carries that mixtape-era innocence, that belief that forever sounds easy when you’re young. Revisiting her reminded me how brave young love really is… and how much grace we owe our younger selves.

ARCF: In the book, Kelly is a divorce attorney who is skeptical of love. Did you ever go through a season where you doubted that a “better ending” was possible for your own life?

JKD: Oh, one hundred percent. There was a stretch of my life where I told the attorneys I worked with… very seriously – “I’m done. No more dating. No more marriage. I’m retiring from romance.” Working around contentious divorces every day will do that to a girl. I trusted my barista more than I trusted the idea of love at that point. My morning coffee shop stops became my little therapy sessions -I trusted my baristas more than the idea of love- smiles, familiar faces, and those quiet moments that felt like a quote from the book “coffee shops hold hugs in cardboard sleeves.” Honestly, that ritual was sometimes the best part of my day.

And then there was Kelly. Writing her felt like walking straight back into those Alaska hallways — big hair, pink pumps, lockers slamming, all that mixtape-era innocence where forever sounded easy, and feelings were louder than logic. Revisiting that younger version of myself reminded me how fearless we are when we’re young… and how much grace we deserve when life hardens us a little. Kelly carries the skepticism I learned later — but she also holds onto the hopeful girl I used to be. Turns out, she was never really gone.

ARCF: Jake is portrayed as a man carrying his own regrets. How did you and your husband, Bryan, navigate the process of forgiving yourselves for the years spent apart?

JKD: Honestly… it’s still a tender truth sometimes. There were missed moments, what-ifs, and a few regrets we had to look straight in the eye. But we learned pretty quickly that if we stayed stuck there, we’d miss the miracle of being here now. So we flipped the script — from regret to gratitude. We have a future together, and that’s the part we hold onto.

We had to stop seeing those years as wasted. Every chapter shaped who we became — parents, partners, people with deeper hearts and a lot more perspective. Forgiveness wasn’t one big dramatic conversation; it was a thousand small choices to give each other grace… and to laugh a little when old fears tried to sneak back in. And let’s just say, after one disconnected phone line changed the course of our story, we make a serious effort now to avoid misunderstandings. Communication is kind of our new love language… with a side of humor.

ARCF: The book captures the “golden nights” of 1980s Alaska. What is your favorite personal memory of that time and place in the book?

JKD: The lake in front of my house – the quiet, breathtaking scenery with snow-capped mountains that felt almost too beautiful to be real. It was such a big part of my world back then that it had to live on the cover of the book. But the moments. Driving around in Bryan’s car with our friends, music playing loud, chasing that feeling of freedom only the 80’s seemed to hold. The dances, the way Bryan would look down at me while we were dancing and those long conversations we had parked somewhere under the Alaskan sky. Even with Debbie and Jerry there, laughing and making memories, there was this quiet closeness between us that felt unforgettable. It wasn’t just a place – it was a feeling… that felt like home.

ARCF: Why was it important to contrast the wild beauty of Alaska with the “quiet ache” of present-day Boise?

JKD: Alaska represents beginnings — bright, bold, and full of first-love energy in a slow-paced, wide-open world. Boise feels faster and more reflective, shaped by everything life has taught us. I see Alaska as Side A of the cassette — youthful and electric — while Boise is Side B, where love grows deeper, steadier, and a little wiser.

ARCF: Does the symbolism of the Alaskan stars hold a deeper meaning for you and your husband?

JKD: The North Star represents guidance, that steady, unwavering light that leads you back home no matter how far you’ve wandered. It’s the same sky we met under, lived under as teenagers, the same stars we danced beneath, and the same Alaskan night where I kissed him and felt something timeless. Over the years, I’ve come to see the North Star as a quiet reminder that even when life pulls you in different directions, some connections never lose their way. It symbolizes faith, direction, and the kind of love that keeps guiding you back to where your heart has always belonged.

ARCF: How did the physical distance between you over those thirty-two years mirror the emotional distance you had to overcome?

JKD: Thirty-four years since we last saw each other at a dance in Anchorage, and thirty-two years since we last spoke on the phone — that’s a lifetime of separate chapters. The miles were only part of the story. The real distance came from communication barriers, misunderstandings, and words that were never spoken. We were living separate lives, carrying memories that never fully faded, and bridging that gap required more than just finding each other again… it meant doing the emotional work. We had to grow into trust, patience, and deeper understanding, learning how to stay emotionally connected in ways we didn’t know how to when we were young. In the end, that long journey didn’t weaken the bond…it made our love more resilient, more intentional, and far more profound.

ARCF: The story mentions that “sometimes the hardest part of love isn’t losing it, but letting it return.” Why do you think it is so hard for us to accept a second chance?

JKD: Because it asks us to be vulnerable again. It means believing that the story didn’t end — it just paused. Sometimes we protect ourselves by holding onto the past version of heartbreak instead of risking hope again.

ARCF: How did you lean on God during the “thirty-two years of silence” before you found each other again?

JKD: There were quiet prayers during those years… I leaned on God constantly, praying for guidance and direction even when the path didn’t make sense. And honestly… my imagination filled in a lot of blanks. There were moments I jokingly convinced myself Bryan must have driven off a cliff somewhere — because how else do you explain someone just disappearing from your story like that?
Sometimes an old 80’s song would come on and… oop, there goes a memory — a reminder that the story wasn’t really gone, just paused somewhere in time. Looking back now, I can see how faith carried me through those unfinished chapters, gently guiding me forward even when my heart still held onto pieces of the past.

ARCF: What would you say to the woman who feels like her “forever” has already passed her by?

JKD: Don’t give up on hope. You are not forgotten — even when it feels quiet and the story seems paused. For years before Bryan and I reconnected, Lauren Daigle’s music felt like a personal anthem in my life, a reminder to keep believing even when I couldn’t see what was ahead. You’re not late. Some love stories take the long way ’round, and timelines don’t always tell the truth about where your life is
headed. I’ve learned that the right chapter arrives when your heart is finally ready to read it — and sometimes the most beautiful beginnings come after you thought the ending had already been written.

ARCF: How does the theme of “God writing better endings” play out in your daily life now, years after the cameras stopped rolling?

JKD: It shows up in gratitude — every single day. There are still moments when Bryan and I look at each other and say, “How did this happen… how are we here… together?” And the only answer I come back to is God knew. He understood the desires of our hearts, our needs, and the timing we couldn’t see yet. When we didn’t meet in 1989, it feels like He simply paused the tape recorder… and hit play again later when we were ready.

Now in the ordinary moments— quiet mornings, shared laughter, just being side by side. Every day with Bryan feels like proof that timing is about growth, faith, and readiness. God didn’t rewrite our story… He finished it in a way that made more sense than we ever could have planned ourselves.

ARCF: In what ways did your faith have to grow to handle the reality of blending families and histories after so much time?

JKD: Oh… faith and patience must stretch. Blending families in different systems decades apart isn’t always picture-perfect … sometimes it feels more like mixing two completely different playlists and hoping the songs eventually flow together. Faith became less about having everything figured out and more about trust — trusting the process, trusting grace, and believing that even complicated histories can turn into something beautiful when rooted in forgiveness.

We always remind ourselves that we’re together for a reason… and yes, sometimes that reason comes with a little “organized chaos.” Different parenting styles, different life systems, and learning to accept that everyone’s story looks a little different takes humility and patience – and a sense of humor helps a lot. Blending families can be messy, but it’s our mess, and we get to grow through it together with grace leading the way.

ARCF: What was the process like working with Tricia Goyer to ensure the “fictional journey” remained true to your “very real one”?

JKD: Working with Tricia felt incredibly natural and we instantly became friends- she’s an 80’s girl at heart just like me — she understands the music, the mood, the faith, and even the little miracles that show up in the middle of a story. She has this beautiful gift of listening beyond the surface, capturing not just the events but the emotion underneath them. From boom boxes and football games to the magic of a high-school dance — the music echoing in the gym, the scents and energy of the era — she knew exactly how to bring those moments to life.

Having visited Alaska herself, she understood the setting in a way that made everything feel authentic, from the scenery to the feeling of those northern nights. Together, we made sure the fictional journey still carried the heartbeat of our very real one — blending nostalgic 80’s rom-com energy with faith, growth, and the deeper emotional layers of a love story that never truly faded.

ARCF: Was there a specific scene Tricia wrote that moved you to tears because it captured exactly how you felt?

JKD: Chapter 35, when Jake comes after Kelly in Arizona. That scene felt so real to me because Bryan literally did that in our own story. We were hiking in the desert in Sedona, and for the first time since we were teenagers, we reached for each other’s hands again. Reading that moment on the page stopped me in my tracks because it captured the emotion we carried for decades — the fear of losing each other twice and the courage it took to finally choose love again.

There’s a line in that scene that still gives me chills: “You broke my heart long before my ex-husband did — and in much smaller, sharper pieces. I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved you.” When I read it, I didn’t just see Kelly and Jake… I saw us. And it reminded me how powerful it is when someone truly understands the heartbeat of your story.

ARCF: How did you decide which parts of your story were meant to stay private and which were meant to be shared for the benefit of readers?

JKD: There are some moments Bryan and I hold sacred and deeply personal, so we were intentional about protecting those while still telling an honest story. The photo shoot scene is a perfect example. In real life, I had planned a boudoir-style photo shoot for my 50th birthday — something friends encouraged me to do to rebuild confidence during a season when I really needed it. For the book, we added a little twist and turned it into a “glamour shot” moment with Amy convincing Kelly to do it for a dating app, which let us keep the heart of the experience while keeping certain details private.

And honestly… we needed a little humor to balance the heavier emotions. Bryan didn’t dramatically come find me at the shoot, but he was nearby calling and texting while I was still in full professional makeup and big 80’s hair — not exactly how I imagined him seeing me for the first time in 34 years! That slight, awkward energy became a fun way for readers to laugh, feel the tension, and experience the moment through Kelly and Jake, while the most personal parts of our story stayed just between us.

ARCF: What has been the most rewarding part of hearing from readers who have found hope in your story?

JKD: The most rewarding part has been realizing that the story Bryan and I lived so personally is now creating something meaningful for others. When readers say they feel swept back into their own 80’s memories — the music, the dances, the fashion, the crushes, and the dreaming — it feels incredibly validating. We lived this story, and hearing that people feel nostalgic, hopeful, and emotionally connected reminds me that it’s not just our journey anymore — it’s something they see pieces of their own lives in too.

Some readers tell me they couldn’t put the book down, that they felt the faith, hope, and love woven through every chapter, or that Kelly and Jake’s story made them believe second chances are possible again. Others say it feels like a perfect mixtape a good friend handed them — full of emotion, memories, and redemption. That’s the part that moves me most: knowing the honesty, the mistakes, the brokenness, and the healing we experienced are helping someone else feel seen, nostalgic, and maybe a little more hopeful about their own story.

ARCF: What do you hope is the very first thing a reader does after they close the book and finish the final chapter?

JKD: Smile. Just pause for a moment and let the feeling settle in — that quiet sense of hope that maybe love isn’t finished with them yet. I hope they think about the people and memories that once meant everything and feel encouraged to believe that life still has beautiful chapters ahead. Maybe they pick up the phone, send a message, or simply hold onto the reminder that some stories don’t end… they just turn the cassette and keep playing.

ARCF: Tell me about your podcast. Why is this a perfect next step for you and your story?

JKD: The podcast actually began as a pre-launch to the book, but as people started sharing their own powerful second-chance stories with me, it quickly became clear this was the next natural step — a new platform to continue sharing a message of hope, healing, and restoration. Second Chance on Love: Side B is a heartfelt storytelling podcast rooted in the belief that it’s never too late for love. As an 80’s girl at heart, I host real conversations with people who thought their love story was over — until life surprised them with a new chapter.

The series begins with my own journey — meeting Bryan in 1985, losing touch for decades, and eventually marrying the love I thought I had lost — a story that was honored as America’s Favorite Couple 2025. But the podcast goes beyond us. Each episode shares rekindled romances, restored marriages, unexpected reunions, and meaningful connections between partners, families, and friends. “Side B” represents the healing side, the growth side — the chapter where love evolves and returns stronger than before.

Podcasting allows me to speak authentically and vulnerably in ways that feel deeply personal and real — a space where faith, lessons learned, and the messy middle of life can be shared honestly. More than a show, it’s becoming a community where listeners are invited to rediscover hope, share their own stories, and realize they’re not alone. It’s a continuation of everything our story stands for — proof that second chances are real, that healing is possible, and that sometimes the most beautiful part of the song plays when you flip the cassette and press play again.

Save, Pin, Share

I vividly remember the first time I decided to homeschool. It was 1993. The internet was barely a thing, Instagram didn’t exist, and I felt like I was stepping off a cliff without a parachute. I looked at my oldest son, then looked at the stack of catalogs I had gathered, and thought, “Who authorized me to do this? I am going to ruin him.”

Fast forward twenty years. My husband John and I adopted seven children, and suddenly, I was a “new” homeschool mom all over again. I had to relearn how to teach phonics to a toddler while managing high schoolers. But this time, I knew a secret I didn’t know in 1993:

You don’t need to be an expert. You just need to be committed.

If you are standing on the edge of the cliff, wondering if you have what it takes, let me grab your hand. You can do this. And you don’t have to do it perfectly.

Homeschool Basics

The hardest part of starting is filtering out the noise. That is exactly why I wrote Homeschool Basics: How to Get Started, Keep Motivated, and Bring Out the Best in Your Kids with my friend Kristi Clover.

We wrote this book for the mom who is overwhelmed by options and paralyzed by the fear of “gaps.” It’s a quick, encouraging read that breaks down the startup process into manageable, grace-filled steps. Start your journey with confidence here.

Breathe First, Plan Second

When you are starting out, the temptation is to buy everything. You want the desk, the globe, the laminator, and the $500 curriculum package.

My friend, Heidi St. John, a beloved speaker and author, advises the exact opposite. In her letters to new homeschool moms, she often emphasizes the heart over the plan.

She says, “Don’t make it harder than it needs to be. Pray. Ask God for His specific instructions. His yoke is easy. Make a simple list… You don’t have to be ready right now. You just have to be listening.”

3-Step Start:

1. Know Your Why: Write down the reason you are homeschooling (Faith? Academic struggles? Family time?). When February comes and the days are hard, you will need to read that paper.
2. Know the Law: Before you buy a single book, go to HSLDA.org and click on your state. You need to know if you have to file a “Notice of Intent” or keep an attendance log. Legal peace of mind is the best foundation.
3. Start with “School Lite”: Do not try to replicate public school at home. Start with just reading aloud and math. Add other subjects slowly.

Looking Deeper: The Imposter Syndrome

Friend, here’s the truth. The biggest barrier to starting homeschooling isn’t the curriculum. It is Imposter Syndrome. It is the voice of shame that whispers, “You aren’t patient enough. You aren’t organized enough. You barely remember algebra. Who do you think you are?”

We feel like frauds because we measure our “insides” (our messy doubts and fears) against other people’s “outsides” (their curated curriculum hauls and smiling first-day photos).

But this is important to remember: Your qualifications are not found in a teaching degree. They are found in the fact that you love this child more than anyone else on the planet. 

You are the expert on your child. When you feel like a fraud, remember that you are actually a pioneer. You are charting a new path for your family, and pioneers are allowed to be scared.

Tiny Habits for the New Homeschooler

• The “One Drawer” Rule: You don’t need a schoolroom. Clear out one drawer in the kitchen for pencils, paper, and workbooks. If you can find the pencil, you can do the school.
• The “15-Minute” Read-Aloud: Commit to reading aloud to your kids for 15 minutes a day. That is it. If you do nothing else, you are building vocabulary, connection, and imagination.
• The “Buddy System”: Find one other homeschool mom. Text her when you have a bad day. Isolation is the enemy of longevity.

Starting this journey for your family might feel like standing at the base of a mountain, but remember you are not climbing alone. You have the heart, the love, and the specific calling required to lead your children well. When the days feel long or the math lessons feel impossible, go back to your “why” and let the peace of God settle over your home. 

As Heidi St. John reminds us, “Don’t make it harder than it needs to be” (St. John). Focus on the connection you are building and the faith you are sowing into their lives. 

You are the exact person your children need for this season, and with a little grace and a lot of prayer, you will find your rhythm. Take that first step today, knowing that the path will be made straight as you walk it.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." — Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Prayer:

Lord, I am stepping out in faith. I feel small, and the task feels big. Please guide my first steps. Help me not to lean on my own ability to be the ‘perfect’ teacher, but to lean on Your ability to lead our family. Give me peace in the chaos and joy in the journey. I trust You with my children’s hearts and minds. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Watch this for a confidence boost:

You Can Homeschool! Yes, Even YOU.” – Eradicating Self-Doubt With Heidi St. John

In this video, Heidi St. John tackles the fear and self-doubt that every new homeschool mom faces, offering practical encouragement to help you take that first step.

Citation: St. John, Heidi. “Dear Homeschool Mom Who Isn’t Ready.” The Busy Mom.

She sat in the car for a few minutes before starting the engine. The shopping bags were on the seat next to her, but the excitement she expected to feel about her upcoming trip had disappeared. Instead, there was a lump in her throat and tears she hadn’t planned on.

The dressing room mirrors had been harsh. The clothes didn’t fit the way she hoped. Her body felt bloated and uncomfortable, and discouragement quietly crept in.

Earlier in the day, she had grabbed a quick snack because she was hungry and hadn’t packed enough food. Later, emotions took over, and she reached for a few sweets on the drive home. Now the familiar thoughts started circling in her mind.

I ruined everything.

Why do I keep doing this?

I’m never going to change.

If you’ve ever tried to build healthier habits, you probably know this moment well. One small choice suddenly feels like proof that you’re failing. But here’s the truth many of us need to hear: One bad day does not ruin your healthy habits.

The Real Battle Isn’t the Food—It’s the Thoughts

The snack wasn’t actually the biggest problem. The real battle was the story her mind began telling afterward. When we struggle with emotional eating or discouragement, our thoughts often become extreme.

“I always mess this up.”
“I’ll never change.”

But those thoughts aren’t true—they’re simply uncontrolled thoughts. Scripture speaks directly to this struggle.

In 2 Corinthians 10:5, the apostle Paul writes that we are to: “Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” That means we don’t simply accept every thought that enters our minds. We examine it. We challenge it. We replace it with truth. Because not every thought deserves to stay.

Why Midlife Can Make This Harder

For many women, especially in midlife, the battle can feel even more intense. Hormones shift. Our metabolism changes. Our bodies don’t always respond the way they once did. The strategies that worked in our twenties and thirties sometimes stop working the same way. And when our bodies change, it’s easy for discouraging thoughts to follow.

But Scripture reminds us that transformation doesn’t begin with the body. It begins with the mind. In Romans 12:2, we read: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Notice what comes first: renewing the mind. Real change begins there.

A Better Question to Ask

Instead of asking, Why did I do that?, try asking a better question: What can I learn from this?

Often, the lesson is surprisingly simple. Maybe the lesson is to pack more healthy snacks so hunger doesn’t take over. Maybe the lesson is to avoid shopping for clothes when you’re already discouraged. Maybe the lesson is remembering that certain weeks of the month are not the best time to judge your body. Life gives us feedback. It does not give us final verdicts.

The Three-Hour Reset

One of the best tools for breaking the shame cycle is something I call the three-hour reset. Instead of saying, I blew it today, ask yourself this question: What am I going to do three hours from now?

You don’t have to fix everything today. You don’t have to undo yesterday. You simply make the next good choice. Drink some water. Eat a balanced meal. Go for a walk. Open your Bible. Write in your journal. Then, a few hours later, make another good choice. And then another. Progress doesn’t happen because someone is perfect. Progress happens because someone keeps resetting.

Replacing the Lies With Truth

This is where Scripture becomes powerful. When a thought says:

“I’ll never change.”

We can answer it with truth. In Philippians 4:8, we are encouraged: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure… think about such things.” God invites us to redirect our thoughts toward truth. 

Another powerful reminder comes from Isaiah 26:3: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”

Peace isn’t found in perfect performance. Peace is found in steadfast thinking.

You Are Not Starting Over

If you had a rough food day recently, take heart. You didn’t ruin everything. You are not starting over. You are simply continuing the journey. One choice at a time. One thought at a time. One reset at a time. 

And as we learn to take our thoughts captive and renew our minds with truth, we discover something beautiful: Change doesn’t come through shame. It comes through grace, truth, and persistence. And that is how lasting transformation begins.

How to Take Your First Step

If you’ve ever thought, I’d love to do work with a health coach, but I don’t even know where to start, this is your invitation.

I’ve made it simple to get started.

Just take a few minutes to fill out this quick Starting Point Form:

This isn’t a commitment—it’s a conversation.

Once you fill it out, I’ll look over your answers and personally reach out to help you create a plan that fits your life, your schedule, and your goals. No pressure. No sales pitch. Just hope and help.

Your Next Step with God

Transitioning from “crisis mode” to “stewardship mode” doesn’t happen overnight. It starts with one small, intentional choice. What choice will you make today?

Discover Your Extraordinary Purpose in God’s Story

Every woman brings heartfelt questions to the Bible: Why does my life sometimes feel so ordinary? How can I understand my place in God’s story? Every Woman’s Bible doesn’t shy away from these questions. 

Created in community by more than 100 diverse women from every continent, this beautiful NLT Bible explores the grit and faithfulness of women of the Bible, throughout history, and today. Through personal stories, female-authored study notes, and deep reflection, you will help clarify your unique calling.

Included with your purchase: Elevate your study with the free, innovative Filament Bible app. Simply scan any page with your phone to unlock a treasure trove of resources—including 25,000+ study notes, audio Bibles, 350+ videos, interactive maps, and worship music—that illuminate the very verses you are reading.

Every Woman’s Bible is an invitation to a global community and a deep, authentic call to the life you were made for. Start your journey to extraordinary purpose today.