Trini Hartley's Blog

Two Years

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 01:46:00 +0000

Dear Family and Friends,

This week it will be two years since Trini lost her battle with breast cancer. I speak for all of our family when I say we cherish our memories of Trini, we think of her and miss her every day.

Luke recently completed an assignment at school where he expressed some touching memories of his Mom. I hope you will enjoy reading it.

Luke Hartley
Mrs. Cowles
English
Show and Tell Essay

My Purple Bracelet

I love my bracelet from my mom! My mom gave it to me before she passed away. It is purple, and it means the world to me, because it makes me remember how wonderful she was. Even though I miss her dearly, I realize she is in a better place--heaven. She had breast cancer and fought it for a long time; she was also one of the strongest people I know. My bracelet is purple because that was her favorite color. The bracelet is made of beads. I don’t know why, but I like it that way. I know that my mom loves me a lot, and is always looking down on me from heaven. I never let anybody else wear the bracelet, because she gave it to me, so that I would cherish it forever. I am going to try and wear the bracelet everyday, so that whenever I see it, I will remember my mom. I love my mom and know that she loves me, my dad, and everybody else in the family. They all know what a rough time she was going through. I know that I love my mom and that one day she and I will reunite in heaven when I die. I love you mom, and this is why I love my purple bracelet.

Luke’s essay was recently featured in the newspaper in his hometown.

Make some terrific memories with those you love today!

Sincerely,

Tami for all the Warners

An Update One Year after Saying Good Bye

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 02:17:00 +0000

Dear Friends and Family,

This is a bittersweet day as we remember Trini. We continue to miss her. We wish she were here. It is only now that I am able to truly admire my sister for how brave she was. I am now realizing how much of a daily struggle she went through for several years, being in so much pain, being so ill and so afraid but being so brave for all of us.

As always I start with Luke because Trini would…

Spring is here and that means baseball. It is Luke’s favorite sport. It appears that he is getting better as he gets older; last Saturday he hit a triple. Luke is in 5th grade at Our Redeemer Lutheran School. This month he is participating in a walkathon to support his school. Today, he will participate in Track and Field Day. Luke has a Facebook page and an email address so I guess you would say he is a typical 11-year-old.

Brett continues to work at Quality Golf Cars. He takes an active role in all Luke’s school and sporting events.

Terri ran in the “National Marathon to Finish Breast Cancer” in February sponsored by the Mayo Clinic. She did very well and received a trophy for her efforts. Some of the family have been talking about walking again in a Breast Cancer fundraiser this year.We all have good memories of walking together in Atlanta -- not all of us enjoyed the camping part -- but the memories were worth every step.

As always, Mom and Dad enjoy having Luke visit when he can. Luke looks like his Mom and has many of her mannerisms.

Thank you for your continued interest in Trini’s family. May your life be impacted today because you knew my sister, admired her cheerful and helpful nature, as mine has!

Sincerely,

Tami

Six Months after Saying Goodbye: An Update

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 00:30:00 +0000

September 14, 2009

Dear Friends and Family,

Trini created this blog to keep you updated on her journey. She has been gone six months and this is an update as we continue on this journey without her.

First, Thank you to all of you for your kind words of encouragement, food, flowers, visits, cards, prayers, monetary donations and thoughtfulness. We are grateful to each of you. As a family, we continue to grieve, but the comfort of others is a tremendous source of strength.

Because Trini would have started with Luke so will I:

Luke completed fourth grade at Redeemer Lutheran School. It was a bit of a challenge. You see, Trini was always the one who kept up with assignment due dates and school happenings. Without her, a few things got mixed up, but with help from Aunt Tori, Brett and an understanding teacher, the year ended with everything completed.

I am pleased to report that Luke has returned to Redeemer this fall thanks to a scholarship and some generous donations from friends at Redeemer. This was very important to Trini and we were all happy to get this news early in the summer.

Luke had a busy summer. In June, he went with Grandma and Pop Pop (Warner) to Atlanta to spend a week with Aunt Traci, Uncle Steve and Cousins Ryan, Mazie and Malori. He spent a few weeks at Environmental Camp. Brett and Luke went on a cruise with some friends. They said good bye to the Kelly’s who moved to California, traveled to Tennessee to visit Brett’s parents who are spending the summer there, and started football practice.

Brett was able to visit his friend Barry out west while Luke was in Atlanta. Unfortunately thieves broke into Quality Golf Carts in early May and 12 carts were stolen. The police have no leads. As you may recall Brett had neck surgery earlier this year. He has recovered well and is playing golf again. You’ll have to ask him if it has improved his game. Brett and other members of the family post on Facebook.

We had a balloon launch at the beach to remember Trini’s birthday, May 3. Purple and white balloons floated off into a beautiful blue sky as the waves washed onto the sand. Trini loved the beach. We were reminded again how much we miss our sister, daughter, mother, wife and friend.

As time marches on we seek ways to keep Trini’s memory close, we also try to push the grief farther away – each in our own way.

My parents enjoy having Luke over often. He and Grandma go to the movies, bake brownies, play baseball, ride the scooter, talk about his Mom and take care of necessary things like going to the dentist and walking the dogs.

Terri is training for a Marathon in February that is a fund raiser for breast cancer. If you would like to learn more please follow Terri Childer’s link at breastcancermarathon.com.

Although the words to this song cause me to cry it also brings me comfort. I know one day I will be reunited with my sister in heaven.

Sincerely,

Tami

God & Time

I know you wished that you had been there to say goodbye
I know you wished that you could turn back the hands of time
I know the pain of loss you're feelin' is almost more than you can bear
But let me give you hope in despair

All you need is God and time
To heal your broken heart
God and time
To lift you up from where you are
I don't have all the answers to all your questions why
All I know is all you really need is God and time

Only God can truly understand how His healing works
And how he uses time in our lives to overcome our hurts
But one thing you can be sure of He is not surprised
By anything that happens in your life

All you need is God and time
To heal your broken heart
God and time
To lift you up from where you are
I don't have all the answers to all your questions why
All I know is all you really need is God and time

I know this side of heaven we may never understand
But we can trust the heart of God
And know we're always in His hands

All you need is God and time
To heal your broken heart
God and time
To lift you up from where you are
I don't have all the answers to all your questions why
All I know is all you really need is God and time

Trini Warner Hartley

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 19:04:00 +0000

Trini Lyn Warner was born May 3, 1970. The fifth daughter born to Bud and Barbara Warner, she was the baby of the family.

She had green eyes, freckles, beautiful skin and a friendly disposition from the beginning. While an infant the family moved to Burnt Hills, New York where Trini lived until she graduated from High School in 1988.

Trini excelled as an athlete, playing soccer, baseball and basketball. She enjoyed being involved in many extracurricular activities, always making time for friends and having fun. She had a "can do" spirit that served her well all her life.

In 1990, she moved to Florida to be closer to her parents and worked for Treasure Coast Surgical Group, Dr. James Vopal, West Marine, Bridges Montessori and the Ginn Company. Always described as a hard worker with a positive attitude, she was selected by her co-workers to present the Kelly Jo Dowd Championship trophy at the Ginn Open in 2008.

Trini fell in love and married Brett Hartley November 26, 1994. Their son Luke was born in 1998. The pride of her life, Luke gave her the reason she needed to keep fighting when the pain and discomfort of cancer seemed more than she could bear.

In 2007, with her four sisters, Terri, Tami, Tori and Traci, she walked 60 miles in 3 days. Collectively they raised $20,000 for Susan G. Komen for the Cure, because everyone deserves a lifetime.

Trini will be remembered for an easy smile that brightened any room, a laugh to soften the hardest of times, her compassion for others and the grace with which she handled adversity.

This brief biography was included in the program from the memorial service.

Memorial Video

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 19:03:00 +0000

This video remembers Trini Warner Hartley, who she was, and why she meant so much to us.

Some of the roles and words used by people to describe Trini included athlete, daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, wife, mother, mom, infectious laughter, warm hearted, courageous, inspiring, loving and unforgettable.

This video was presented at Trini's memorial service March 17, 2009.

Eulogy by Bill Bliss

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 19:02:00 +0000

Good Evening everyone. Many of us don’t know each other, but what we have in common is special and a blessing. We had the joy of having Trini in our lives. My name is Bill Bliss. I pray the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart bring honor to you, God, and to the memory of my friend Trini Warner Hartley.

I had the privilege of working with Trini at the Ginn Company for the past few years. We were together when the times were good and not so good. Challenging times are often inexplicable and we often wonder why we have to go through them. Depending on the people involved, they can bring you closer together. When Trini was involved, she brought us ALL closer together. That is what I have been asked to share about.

Six years ago, I lost my oldest brother Ted to brain cancer. Barbara and Bud, I grieve for you as I have my mom. Terri, Tami, Tori, and Traci, we share that feeling of not knowing what to say to Mom and Dad. We also share what seems like an unfillable void in the loss of a sibling. I am not going to pretend I have anything to say that will make things better.

But, I will say “Thank You.” Thank you for Trini. Thank you for raising a woman who had an endless capacity to love and serve those in her life.

There is a line in the greatest book ever written that states the greatest among you is the servant of all. Trini was truly great. She is truly greater than the man addressing you right now. As her family, I want you all to know the single most rewarding aspect of all of my time at the Ginn Company -- and pretty much my entire life -- was the gift I was given in the powerfully courageous, loving woman you called daughter and sister. I will never be the same. We are all here to honor her tonight. I truly hope the love that is in this room comforts you and gives you a peace that surpasses all understanding.

In an inescapably tough real estate market, Trini was tasked with supporting a group of Type A, want-it-like-they-want-it, get-it-done-now personalities. Like most families, we drove each other crazy. Trini was the glue that kept it all together.

On top of many other things, Trini was tasked to handle their reservations, arrival, accommodations, collecting money, etc. We always had issues. The lights don’t work; the remote is on the fritz; where’s the bottle of wine; who slept in here last night; I can’t find the cheese tray, Uhh..there is a bunny floating in the pool. What do you do? You call Trini. She answered her phone every time often answering, “What’s wrong?”

Before the explanation was finished, she was already heading to her car, usually at night, to fix the problem. She never uttered a complaint. She never let you feel you were inconveniencing her. Whatever it took, she willingly did.

She was battling something that would ultimately take her away from all of us. Yet she was the brightest spot in that whole place. She was the one with the best attitude and disposition. She made us all better. Still… she challenges me. Still… she blesses me. Still… she humbles me.

Brett, Trini loved being married to you. We shared a conversation one day about not being able to imagine our lives without our spouses and how thankful we were for a peaceful marriage. How grateful we were to have what many, unfortunately, never get to share. She knew she was loved.

Brett, just the fact that your wife uttered those words make me admire you. I want to thank you for your strength of character. Thank you for making my friend feel special and valued. You made her feel loved because you had the courage to
tell her and show her. You got it right, my man. I want to acknowledge you and your wonderful title of husband.

Young Luke, you have heard me speak of what a gift your mama was to me – to us -- at Ginn. There are no truer words I could speak to you. Except, that you were her gift. You brought her a joy that she treasured. I spoke earlier about her smile and how it brightened a room. When she spoke about you, her smile was so different. It was so much brighter. There was no comparison. She cherished you and your sweet spirit. I loved hearing the pride in her voice when she spoke about you. I looked for any excuse to leave my office, so I could just go hang out with your mom in her office. You always came up. There was no prouder mama in the whole world. My words will not express my gratitude for her place in my life. Thank you for sharing your mama with me and all of us.

I want to share one story from Trini’s blog: “Trini, I was so happy to see you that day when you recognized me in your rear view mirror. You got out of your car, ran over to my car and tapped on my window and gave me a hug. It made my day. You always bring a smile to my face.” What a perfect description of Trini.

I pray that as you leave here tonight, you can take something with you that Trini gave to all she touched. That is a care for others that exceeded her care for herself even in the midst of her storm. What a gift she had. The most beautiful thing about her is that she gave that gift freely with no expectation of anything being given back.

I want to close with a quote many of you have probably heard before. St Francis of Assisi encouraged all of us to, “Go out into all the world and preach the gospel. Use words when necessary.” Being in full time ministry for about five years, I have heard a lot of pastors speak and a lot of sermons preached. I truly don’t know if I have ever heard a better sermon preached than the one Trini lived.

Eulogy by Barry Kelley

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 19:01:00 +0000

Good evening, my name is Barry Kelley. I have thought long and hard about what I would say tonight about Trini, but the only logical place to start is from the beginning.

About 10 years ago, I needed to hire a new assistant to help me in the regional office for West Marine. I had placed an ad and received literally hundreds of applications and resumes. After 15 or more interviews, I was unable to find just the “right” person. I went back into the stack and found a resume I had missed with a unique first name: Trini Hartley. Little did I know at the time that something very special was about to happen.

After a phone call setting up a time for an interview, we met the next day. I have interviewed and hired more than 1000 employees over the years, so I am an experienced interviewer with a strategy for hiring. The next day started as normal until Trini arrived.

We spoke for a few minutes and started the interview. Little did she know I had already made up my mind in the first five minutes, but I felt obliged to go through the process, for effect if nothing else. I was ready to hire her on the spot, which I never do. That would be against the rules. Something inside said that would be a mistake and somebody else might hire her. To say she made a great first impression would be an understatement. I called her just a few hours after she had left my office and offered her the job. Luckily, for West Marine, my family, and me she said “Yes.”

She quickly became a valuable member of the team and everyone liked her instantly. That was the beginning of our 10-year friendship.

While we worked together, I met Brett, and like Trini, I liked him instantly. Luke was just a little guy at the time, but, boy, could you see both Trini and Brett in him.

I will never forget the day she walked into my office a few years later and I could tell something was wrong. With a sad heart, and a few tears she told me she was thinking about giving her two week notice, but was not sure if it was the right thing to do. She asked for my advice. She gave me the details of a great opportunity at Bridges Montessori School where she would be able to spend more time with her son Luke. That meeting in my office was a tough one. After a long and emotional chat, we both decided that the time with her son outweighed her emotions on leaving a job she truly enjoyed and was great at. Trini’s dedication to her son Luke and loving husband Brett have always been her top priority.

As Trini moved on to a new career, a stronger relationship had grown between the Hartley’s and the Kelley’s. The two families had become quite fond of each other.

Over the next eight years, rarely a weekend has gone by where we did not get together for a family barbeque, a dinner out, or a trip to the sandbar on the boat. One thing is for sure, we found every restaurant from Port St. Lucie to Palm City. By now, the two families had almost become one.

One thing you may not know about Trini is that she can perform miracles. I know this because I saw it with my own eyes. On one of our many family trips to the Keys, we were out on the boat at Molasses Reef, which is about 6 miles off the coast of Key Largo. The day was perfect.

My daughter Kristine and Trini were snorkeling near the boat and had their eye on a small reef shark well below them. We were in about 15 feet of water. Trust me, there was no threat, but they were both quite nervous. Much closer to the boat were multiple small reef fish giving the two families a great snorkeling experience. Brett and I were on the boat at the time and came up with a great idea. That should be your first clue we were up to no good.

We decided that Trini and Kristine needed the small reef fish a bit closer to them so they could experience the Keys snorkeling. We both took a hand full of chips, crushed them up in our hands and threw them towards the two girls. Within 2 seconds, over 100 small, harmless reef fish surrounded both Kristine and Trini. One even jumped on Trini’s back to get to the chips. Okay, here comes the miracle. Just then, Trini rose up from the water, and with two quick bounds was back on board in a matter of seconds. Yes, my friends, Trini Hartley can walk on water.

Once back on board, both Brett and I were laughing like two school kids. Trini, on the other hand, gave us both one of her famous tongue-lashings, which we both deserved. Kristine had a few choice words to say as well,but within a few minutes we were all laughing and amazed that we had witnessed a miracle. Trust me, Trini is looking down from heaven right now with a smile on her face and maybe a few looks at Brett. We have talked about that day many times, as
well as many other memorable trips.

I am not surprised at all at how many people loved being around Trini and wanted to come celebrate her life, albeit, far too short. She was a wonderful daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend and valued employee. No matter what your relationship, you were blessed with her being part of your life. Whether it was her infectious laugh, quick wit, her smile or presence that could light up a room, the love we all had for Trini will be imbedded in our hearts and minds.

As tough as this day is, I do have one consolation. She touched all our lives and we are all better for it. I know we will all remember her in our own special way and how she touched our lives. For me though, I will always remember Trini, who I loved dearly, as my friend who “walked on water.”

Obituary

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 13:39:00 +0000

PORT ST. LUCIE - Trini Warner Hartley, 38, of Port St. Lucie passed away March 12th, 2009 at The Treasure Coast Hospice Residence, in Stuart.

Born in Apalachin, New York she has resided here for the past 17 years, moving here from Burnt Hills, New York. She was the Office Manager for Ginn Company, in Port St. Lucie.

She graduated from State University of New York at Cobleskill & was a member of Hope Lutheran Church, Port St. Lucie. She was a board member of Pink Tie Friends & a member of the PTO at Redeemer Lutheran School, in Stuart.

Surviving is her husband of 15 years, Brett Hartley, of Port St. Lucie; her son, Luke Hartley, of Port St. Lucie; her parents, Bud & Barbara Warner, of Port St. Lucie; her paternal grandmother, Mildred Woodring, of Williamsport, PA; her maternal grandmother, Betty Machanic, of Port St. Lucie; and her 4 sisters: Terri Childers, of Duluth, GA.; Tami Johnson, of Midland, MI; Tori Warner, of Port St. Lucie; Traci Switzer, of Atlanta, GA.

Memories & condolences may be made at trinihartley.blogspot.com. An online guest book may be signed at http://www.heavencalled.com./

Memorial Contributions may be made in the name of Luke Hartley at Seacoast National Bank 1108 SE St. Lucie Blvd. Port St. Lucie,FL. in her memory.

SERVICES: A Celebration of her life will be held on Tuesday, March 17th at 7 PM at Hope Lutheran Church, Port St. Lucie with Pastor Jared Olson, officiating. Friends may visit at the church from 6-7 PM prior to the service.

Arrangements are entrusted to the care of Martin Funeral Home & Crematory, Stuart

This obituary appeared Saturday, March 14, 2009 in the St. Lucie News Tribune.

A New Journey Begins

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 00:30:00 +0000

Trini passed away peacefully Thursday, March 12 after a long and courageous battle with Breast Cancer.

A Celebration of Trini's life is planned for Tuesday, March 17 at 7pm at Hope Lutheran Church, 1750 Lennard Road, Port St Lucie, Florida . The family will receive friends one hour before the service.

As per Trini's wishes an account has been set up in Luke Hartley's name at Seacoast National Bank, 1108 SE Port St Lucie Blvd, Port St Lucie, Florida.

Trini also has made one personal request, "Please don't let anyone wear Pink to my funeral"

It has been a pleasure and and encouragement to Trini reading your comments. As we grieve our loss we would be honored if you would be willing to share 3 words you feel describe Trini.

Keep the Cards and Comments Coming !

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:50:00 +0000

On Saturday, Trini was able to go to Luke's baseball game. I am happy to say Luke's team won 8-1. It was an emotional and draining day but Trini would not have wanted to be any place else.

We are all enjoying reading your comments to Trini. She is encouraged by your thoughtfulness and the fond memories.

Moving Forward One Step at a Time

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 02:34:00 +0000

Trini had scans in February that indicated that the chemo she was on was not having a substantial effect on the cancer. This particular chemo was pretty brutal. After considering the options, Trini made a brave and difficult decision that has been weighing on her mind for some time. She has made the choice to move from treatment efforts to managing her pain and focusing on time with Brett, Luke, family and friends. Hospice is currently managing her symptoms.

As we make this adjustment, please understand that although we love all of our friends, visitors are a challenge. For the present time, Trini has asked for no visitors. We expect this to change and we will do our best to keep the blog updated with details about visits, calls and other needs.

Trini does love reading the comments left on this blog. Please consider sharing a common experience you've had with Trini or a funny story using the comment link below.

Luke's Biggest Fan - His Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 02:42:00 +0000

Trini pulls together all her energy to support Luke at school and when he is on the ball field.

This is Trini and Luke on February 13th. Luke just finished walking in Redeemer Lutheran Schools annual Walkathon.

I took this picture while visiting from Michigan.
It was a beautiful, sunny morning in Florida.

Tami (One of Trini's sisters)

Sorry, its been so long...

noreply@blogger.com (Trini) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 02:40:00 +0000

I can't believe it has been so long since I have made an entry, I am so sorry. Things have been rough. I started out doing very well on the Ixempra but the last two have been brutal. I am not quite sure what we will do next, I have scans on February 18th so please keep us in your prayers. I have lost a bit more weight which really frightens me since I know I need all the strength I can to fight this but unfortunately on this chemo it just zaps everything out of me I am really unable to do much of anything. I don't have any one particular area of concern just weakness, so to say I am anxious about the scans would be an understatement but we are used to the wait and see. I don't know what alternative chemotherapy's there are for me right now and to be honest I think almost 3 years of chemo has really just done a job on me so we will leave it in God's hands as to what will be next.

Luke and Brett are doing great Luke is playing baseball, he made the A league this season and was asked to play on a travel league. Brett is coaching both and he is great at it the kids really enjoy him and he loves to be out there with them. I am very proud of both of them.

My mom, dad and sisters have been amazing through this challenge as always they come by, keep me company, clean, organize and cook for us. Which goes without saying is incredibly helpful. Tami was just here from Michigan we had nice weather for her and we even made it to the beach for a few hours. She made me a beautiful quilt which I love. While Tami is visiting she and Tori are quickly working on a quilt for Tori. Spring break is fast approaching and the Switzers will be coming in from Atlanta so we are all looking forward to their visit.

I promise to keep you all posted as to what next weeks results are as soon as I can again, please keep us in your prayers. We are going to get through this, after all I am surrounded by love, family and friends. The strength I feel from each of you is getting me through each day. Thank you for your continued notes, cards, prayers and support.

Down but not out....

noreply@blogger.com (Trini) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:12:00 +0000

I feel as though I should just cut and paste one of my old post reflecting I am yet again trying another chemotherapy. Its been a while since my last update because I have a very hard time both physically and emotionally with this one. It started with some severe pain in my right side which of course led to more scans showing some more metastasis in my liver. Surgery or radiation were not an option so we have begun a new course of chemo called Ixempra I take it every three weeks instead of weekly and I learned rather quickly why. Although I had been handling side effects well this one is a whopper. I am currently on my week off and feeling great but getting ready for round two on Tuesday I am definitely preparing for what is ahead. The way I am trying to look at it is I need to knock my socks off to get rid of what is growing and since the others weren't doing the trick this one will.

"After you have suffered a little while, our God who is full of kindness through Christ, will give you his eternal glory. He firmly will come and pick you up, and set you firmly in place and make you stronger than ever" (Peter 5:10).

We are optimistic that I will be making the turn by Christmas and feeling well enough to enjoy the holidays. I will be surrounded by family and friends which is where I love to be. Christmas eve will be at my aunt Mary's while Christmas dinner will be here, everyone brings something and sets up so it is a stress free day with lots of fun and laughter. We are very excited, Luke of course is anxious for Santa's arrival.

I continue to enjoy reading your posts and encouraging words it is amazing how I have reunited with friends from Burnt Hills I have not heard from in 20 years. During our High School reunion they passed around my blog and I have been so lucky to hear from friends it is fun and exciting to hear how everyone is. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond I really enjoying hearing from each of you and am grateful for your prayers and concern.

God's Blessings, Merry Christmas!

Just a few pictures

noreply@blogger.com (Trini) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:44:00 +0000

Brett and I going to Redeemer School Auction...notice no neck brace for Brett and I have managed to hang onto some hair.

Luke is quite a pitcher, and really enjoys it we just finished fall ball already signed up for spring.

What a month.....

noreply@blogger.com (Trini) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:37:00 +0000

We often hear God only gives you what can handle I just wish he didn't trust me so much.

To say things have been hectic in our lives since my last post seems like an understatement. I'll start with Brett as I am very happy to report he is doing very well. For those of you that don't know he hurt his neck and was in some severe pain and after a few rough weeks of doctors, chiropractors and many a sleepless nights. The MRI indicated surgery a must. We saw the surgeon on Wednesday and he was admitted on Thursday. The exact procedure and terminology I don't know but his C5, 6 and 7 had basically collapsed on his spinal cord. He is in a neck collar which as you can imagine looks and is extremely uncomfortable having worn it for 5 weeks now we are going back to see the surgeon next week hoping he will move onto the next step which is a soft collar for a few more weeks that only needs to be worn during activity. He has done amazingly well, was relieved of pain basically the day after surgery and once he came home really didn't need any. I have not been used to being the nurse and I believe Brett will agree I am not good at it.

On another very positive note, Luke is doing great. After threatening to put him in a bubble or lock him in his room so nothing could happen to him he is enjoying baseball and doing very well in school.

Now for my update I wish I could give you all good news however my cancer has yet again progressed. My tumor markers made quite a jump in the wrong direction so we have done another PET Scan and found new spots in my lung and liver. So we are yet again on to another drug called GEMZAR it is a weekly treatment similar to the others. I had my first and my counts went down quite a bit causing us to have to hold off a week. I just had another last Friday and again we play the game waiting to find out if I can get a hold of the cancer before it gets me. I recently heard another metastatic patient say her body just likes to make cancer and that is what is happening to me. The drugs often work for a period of time until the cancer just figures out how to get around it so we take one step forward just to be set back by two. I can only hope that eventually we can kick its ass. We went to see the doctor in Boca we have seen a few times for his opinion and he recommended GEMZAR with another drug I have had before however the concern is two fold it can be dangerous to my heart and my levels will ultimately drop with the stronger treatment. I right now have chosen to do the weekly GEMZAR with the simple hope of at least getting that in me weekly. I am not sure this is the right decision but the best one I can make right now. I have also started to work with an acupuncturist and specialist with oriental medicine needless to say I have gotten an education on herbs, QI, cleansing, teas some not so good. I drink two glasses of tea that I brew myself and my first shot at it was something out of a Harry Potter movie I could not determine if there was something alive in that cup or not so although I tried drinking it was not an option. Luke and Brett had to leave the house for a while just to recover from the smell.

We are all a part of this war and it is because of each of you that we will continue to fight for a cure. I will continue to wage war in what ever way I can so I will continue to take chemotherapy, brew teas, get accupuntured and fight for my life but I couldn't if it weren't for each of you. Your well wishes, prayers and love are just what keep us going. Thank you!

Whats new with the Hartley's...

noreply@blogger.com (Trini) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 15:58:00 +0000

Our summer vacation is over and we are back in school. We are all settling back into our daily routines, Luke is enjoying 4th grade and we are very excited for a great year at Redeemer. We ended our summer with the Switzers as always we enjoy their visit to Florida and wish they were more frequent. We also have a new addition to our family, Teddi arrived via N.C. with Bonner and Kara Herring, two dear friends of ours, a few weeks ago. Luke had mentioned to Bonner that he has always wanted a yorkie puppy so Bonner quickly put the wheels in motion he contacted a close friend of his and pretty soon Teddi was born and on her way to Florida. We are all enjoying her and grateful to our friends for making it happen.

I am doing very well still have some pain but nothing I cannot manage and my energy level is good. I don't believe it will ever be what it used to but I am pleased with my progress. Chemotherapy is going well it is amazing how routine it has become. I am often asked about my prognosis or what my blood tests and scans are showing and to be honest I have not had any since I was released from the hospital. I have settled into this weekly chemotherapy routine and find myself not wanting to know anything I am finally feeling better and don't know if I can handle any bad news. As you all know I try to be as strong and positive as I can and when you are faced with some real results sometimes that attitude is hard to maintain. I want to just base my progress on how I am feeling and since I continue to improve I have not pressed for further testing. When I spoke with my oncologist last he said it can take as many as 8 treatments to see results so I would imagine it is getting about time for some scans. I am more anxious about it now than ever in light of my recent struggles but I will put all my efforts into thinking positive and celebrate when they are promising.

I will continue to marvel in the strength of prayer, friendship and my good fortune to be surrounded by the love of my family and friends.

noreply@blogger.com (Trini) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 01:05:00 +0000

Heavens how do you follow a post like that....as you all can see I am so very blessed. I have the most incredible friends and family. I am not sure that I would be fortunate enough to realize that love had I not faced the struggles that I have in my life over the last 5 years. As you can see by my sisters post we all get caught up in our own lives. Family would come to visit and I would find myself to busy to spend quality time with them. I can only hope that those of you reading these posts call someone in your life that you have not talked to in some time just to catch up. I spent over 3 weeks in the hospital surrounded by my friends and family with cards, emails, visits and phone calls I would not have gotten through it without your prayers and support I cannot possibly thank each of you enough nor express how much it has all helped me through a very difficult time.

I am doing very well, still experiencing some pain and weakness however I do think I am getting along and progressing each day. I go to chemotherapy every friday and not experiencing too many side effects. I have gone back to work a few hours a day, I will say it wears me out but I am so happy to be back. Luke has been going to all sorts of camps he had the opprotunity to go back to Bridges for a week with some old friends and he loved it. This week he is in baseball camp which he is really enjoying however he is very tired when he gets home. Brett is doing well and business is steady in the summer it does slow down a bit which is good I think simply due to the heat that they all contend with working on the cars outside. I am still not a lot of help in the evenings or outside with the yard so he is busy but doesn't complain.

Again, thank you all for your continued prayers.

"If God brings you to it.

He will bring you through it."

This Cloud Has a Silver Lining

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 16:00:00 +0000

Trini at home in Florida with Tami

As many of you know my sister Trini is an amazing person. Recently I had the privilege to learn this first hand. Trini is 12 years younger than I am and a bit shorter. When Trini was born my Dad said, “It’s a full house.” She would always be the baby of the family.

When I graduated from high school, Trini was just finishing Kindergarten. When I got married, she was 11 years old. When I came home to visit she was a busy with life: high school, learning to drive, dating, shopping and hanging out with her friends.

Trini moved to Florida. We saw each other less. She got married and Luke was born. In 2003, I got a call that Trini had been diagnosed with breast cancer. You always think it will happen to someone else. Here we are, in 2008 fighting the fight we never imagined would be ours to fight. Last month when Trini was hospitalized, I traveled from Michigan to Florida to help out in any way I could.

This is my silver lining. I got to know my sister.

She doesn’t complain. She loves Luke with all her heart. She doesn’t like burnt toast or her egg salad all ground up, but keep the Coke and pretzels coming. She can shop. She’d like to take Brett and Luke to Burnt Hills to see where she grew up. She wants to write thank you notes to each of you for the meals, gifts, gift cards, flowers and notes of encouragement that she has received. She worries about not having the energy to get them done. She worries. She is not very organized, but appreciates those who are. She is brave. She is beautiful and her whole face lights when she smiles. She is fighting as hard as she knows how. She inspires me not to waste my life. She is my sister and I am proud of her.

Please continue to pray for Trini, Brett and Luke.

"God is our refuge and strength an ever present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

Blessings,

Tami

There's No Place Like Home

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 01:21:00 +0000

Trini, Luke and Oreo happy to be home together.

Trini has been home from the hospital for 10 days. The good news is the x-rays continue to look good and she is able to eat a little bit. She is getting stronger and regaining some energy although she would like for it to be happening faster. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

Take a Deep Breathe and Exhale

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 23:23:00 +0000

Those were the words the doctor used as he pulled out the fourth and final chest tube at noon today. The x-ray of the lungs looks great!

We all would love to have a grand celebration, but what would a celebration be without some good food. At present, Trini continues to struggle to keep down any food. She had her third round of chemo on Tuesday and is very happy to be home trying to regain some energy.

The Wheelchair Has Landed!

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 02:06:00 +0000

Trini said earlier that she wouldn't believe she was leaving the hospital until the wheelchair came to get her.

Thursday afternoon, 5/29 at 4 p.m. the wheelchair arrived and Trini was discharged from Martin Memorial Medical Center after 24 days. It was a tearful send off from Room 303.

She is home now trying to rest and recuperate. It is still very important to protect her from germs and to limit visitors.

She gets a visit each day from her home health nurse, Bennett, and has lots of doctors appointments, pills and treatments to keep track of. If you would like to visit, please call her to arrange a time.

Your thoughts and prayers are very encouraging to her. Thank you for all of them and keep them coming.

3 Down

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Thu, 29 May 2008 00:40:00 +0000

Since our last post Trini has made some significant improvements. The drainage of fluid from her lungs has decreased and they have been able to remove 3 of the 4 drains. This is an answer to prayer. Thanks to all of you who have faithfully upheld Trini in prayer. People are praying for her in states she has never even been to. She wants you to know how thankful she is.

We also have good news to report in the area of eating. She doesn't eat much, but she has been able to keep a few bites down the last couple days.

Trini sleeps alot and is looking forward to getting home where she can actually sleep for more than 45 minutes at a stretch without some kind of interruption. In all seriousness, it is worse than you can imagine trying to sleep in a hospital.

Danger of infection continues to be a major concern. Therefore when she gets home she will have to limit visitors to protect herself.

We appreciate your patience and concern and we will keep you posted.

21 Days

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Mon, 26 May 2008 02:31:00 +0000

As of today Trini has been in the hospital 21 days. We wheeled her outside this afternoon to get some fresh air. It really seemed to boost her spirits.

She continues to have difficulty keeping food down but with some changes in medication we are hoping that we will have some good news to report in this area soon.

With mixed emotion we have to report that one lung has shown significant improvement but the other has not. We all continue to take one day at a time and to be thankful for each improvement.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, flowers, gifts, visits, e-mails, phone calls, meals, taking care of Luke and more.

Back to ICU

noreply@blogger.com (Tami) — Fri, 23 May 2008 22:24:00 +0000

Trini has spent the last 24 hours in ICU. She had another procedure done on her lungs to reduce fluid build up. She is uncomfortable, but as always willing to do anything to get headed home.

It will take 2 -3 days before we will know if the procedure had the desired results. Likewise, the chemo that was earlier this week will take as long as 10 days to do its stuff. If all goes as scheduled she could have another chemo infusion early next week.

Today is Luke's last day of school. He reports that he has passed 3rd grade and will be moving on to 4th grade in the fall. He seems to be doing well.

Trini has received e-mails from many friends here in Florida as well as friends she hasn't seen since high school days in Burnt Hills. We enjoy reading them and are all encouraged by your thoughts and prayers. Keep them coming and please keep checking the blog for updates.

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