Any married couple with half a bottle of wine in them will tell you about the Seven Year Itch: that inevitable period in any courtship when the the initial spark fades a smolder, those early surprises settle into a mundane routine, and both partners start look outside of the marriage for the excitement of something new.

This desire might manifest itself as anything:

• from, say, sending some harmless, flirty texts to a cute co-worker,
• Or perhaps some harmless masturbation some pics that co-worker sends back,
• Or maybe meeting up with said co-worker at the Comfort Inn in Santa Monica over lunch on a Tuesday afternoon for a harmless, yet torrid bone-a-thon.

We here at Trophy Wife have been performing together for seven years come April, and lately we too have been feeling The Itch. That's why we decided to ask some of our ex-Wives to join us for our seventh anniversary show on April 11th. Eric Hunicutt, Mike Betette, and Tim Jennings have all agreed to take the stage with us for one night only for a very special Harold that's sure to be an unforgettable experience. See, it's not that we don't love each other anymore, it's just that after so long together WE NEED TO FEEL WANTED AGAIN, DAMNIT.

-Ahem- Sorry.

So join us on April 11th at iO for our 7th anniversary show as we revisit old friends, reopen old wounds, and generally get all weird with each other onstage. It's sure to be a night full of laughs and memories that, as we look toward our future together, will have to last us a very, very long time.

-Sigh-

Trophy Wife's 7 Year Anniversary Show
featuring ex-Wives Eric Hunicutt, Mike Betette, and Tim Jennings
Wednesday, April 11th @ 9:30pm
iOWest Mainstage
6366 Hollywood Blvd. Los Angeles

Congrats to Ellyse – the winner of last night’s Win a Date with Dave Park giveaway. A Level One student at the iO, Ellyse thought the contest was a joke, so imagine how surprised she was when Dave chose her out of three lucky contestants after last night’s show.

Ellyse will be whisked away to a moderately priced bar or restaurant sometime in the near future by the handsome Dave Park. Thanks to all who entered and be sure to join us next time: John Abbott has already volunteered for our next giveaway.

Can I be frank with you? It’s pretty tough being on a Harold team that oozes so much sexiness. Really tough. Sometimes, during a sweaty rehearsal, it’s all we can do to keep from jumping on each other and making so many babies, the Duggars would say “Hey, slow down, you dirty freaks.”

But we can’t help it. We’re just all really bone-worthy. We are all such tasty morsels, in fact, that there’s only one Trophy Wife left who hasn’t been snapped up by the love-vultures of the outside world. And that Trophy Wife is Mr. Dave Park.

“How is this possible?” you ask? We’ve asked each other that question a million times, and we really don’t know. Just look at that guy! Don’t you just want to wrap yourself up in all that pillowy chest hair like a Snuggie and just never come out? Wouldn’t you like to sit with him and buy him beverage after beverage as he regales you with tales of his trips to the Orient? Wouldn’t you like to admire his smartly-tied and fashion-forward neckerchief close-up, instead of from afar?

Are you human? Then course you would. And that’s why we’re GIVING HIM TO YOU. Yes, you read that right. If you’ve been jonesing for a walk in the Park, you’d better get your sweet tush to the Trophy Wife show on February 15, because one lucky audience member will WIN A DATE WITH DAVE.

Oh, we know. Right now you’re panting, pinching your cheeks to get a natural-looking flush, desperately applying Spanx to your body and screaming, “WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?” at your computer screen. That’s natural, if you have eyes and your reproductive organs are still cranking. Well, calm down. All you have to do is attend the Trophy Wife show on February 15 at 9:30 pm on the IOWest Mainstage, and get ready to give a suggestion to inspire our show. Three lucky ladies will be chosen. And then Cupid will work his magic, sending one damsel straight into the arms of Dave.

The show is still a week away, so you have time to do the Master Cleanse and lose those last pesky five pounds before you shimmy into your party dress and straight into a date with Dave Park. Not that you’d need to change yourself in any way. Dave’s not shallow. He already thinks you’re perfect.

Win a Date With Dave
presented by Trophy Wife
Wednesday, Feb. 15th @ 9:30pm
iOWest – 6366 Hollywood Blvd.
Tickets $5 – Order Online