That’s the issue of getting led on by girls who give you their phone numbers. Now notice this is a different sticking point then phone flaking or getting “bad” phone numbers.

Phone flaking happens when a girl gives you her phone number and then agrees to meet up before coming up with a variety of different excuses for why she can’t get together.

“Bad” phone numbers happen when you get a girl’s phone number and she either never responds, responds by asking you who this is, or answers once and then never again.

Today we’re going to talk about getting led on and getting led on is my newest edition to the sticking point list.

What happens with getting led on is you meet a girl and really like her and you’re really getting along well. You’re texting a lot but she won’t meet up or if she meets up she only meets up for like an hour or so. Also whenever she’s willing to meet up she’s either with friends, or completely controls how and when you hang out. She’s really “busy” so she’ll have one drink with you and go home or go hiking with you for an hour and then go I’m really busy I have to go do stuff.

What happens here is you’ve become emotional validation. She is not looking at you as a woman looks at a man, she’s looking at you as someone who makes her feel good about herself, makes her feel wanted, attractive, etc. and once that happens you then have almost no chance of getting that girl into bed.

So guys will continue to call and text and try to get them out thinking they’re working on them and girls will even support this with what I call the “myth of trying hard.” I’ve had girls when I was like you say “it’s been a month and we haven’t hung out, I’m deleting your number.” They’d be like, “well if you thought it would be that easy then you probably should have tried.” I’m like what are you talking about? It’s been a month where I’ve been texting you every day trying to get you to hang out and you don’t.

But girls can go to this myth of you have to try harder or nothing worth having comes easy. All this stuff that doesn’t apply to the situation of people because with people things should be easy. If a girl is doing things that make it seem she’s not into you, don’t be a detective just assume she’s not into you and move on.

As one of my friends once tweeted: “i will tell you what. you can chat, email, text, but if you’re not meeting up, there is something, likely someone, else going on. #dating”

>>>To Learn More Jedi Mind Tricks From Jon, Check Out His Scientifically Proven Seduction Roadmap where he shows you how to quickly and easily seduce ANY woman in ANY situation.

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Oh people will see you and be intrigued for sure, even intrigued enough to sit down next to you and start you up. But once they realize that you’re no smoother than the rickety old desktop they’ve got back home, they’re going to move on fast, if not sooner.

A pickup artiste or seducer in many ways is like a computer. The things that he says, the routines that he runs and the clothes that he wears are his hardware accessories; this is his outer game. But none of that means very much if he doesn’t have strong inner game backing it all up.

So what is inner game?

In the most simple of terms, inner game is how you see yourself and the world around you. And this view is tempered by your beliefs, your goals and visions, your life experiences and your sense of self worth.

So why is inner game important?

It helps you have fun

I don’t know about you, but for me to commit to something completely, I need to enjoy what I’m doing, and seducing women is no exception. And the fact of the matter is if you spend a good part of your interactions with women worrying about what you’re going to say next and how she’s going to respond, your interactions aren’t going to be much fun.

To be honest they’ll start feeling like a chore and you’ll find yourself burning out pretty darn soon. So your bigger picture really should be to rise above the canned lines and the rehearsed routines to become a naturally seductive person that is able to commit completely and wholeheartedly to an interaction and have fun while doing so.

Inner game is an integral aspect of becoming that naturally seductive person. Becoming a naturally seductive human being requires serious improvements in your beliefs, self-image and sense of self-worth and also serious changes in your views of male-female relationship dynamics. Inner game is a huge part of making those changes.

It helps you become congruent

Another reason why inner game is crucial to your success is that it helps you become congruent with whatever it is you’re saying. And if there’s one thing about women, it’s that they can smell incongruence like a sniffer dog with a hard-on for the truth. Women are incredibly intuitive creatures and can sense it when a man doesn’t believe what he himself is saying. And they find such men supremely unattractive. After all, why should a desirable woman listen to and value a man that doesn’t place much value on his own words?

Strong inner game helps you be congruent with what you say and what you do by seamlessly connecting your conscious and subconscious. If you’re telling a woman a story about the time you rescued your ex-girlfriend from a bunch of stalkers following her home, but your subconscious is screaming that you’re a lying, wimpy son of a bitch, she will sense this and blow you out faster than you can say bullshit.

It helps your outer game

The thing about seduction is that it’s mostly a non-verbal game. Have you ever experienced an instance where you walked up to a beautiful woman and delivered the funniest damn line ever, only to have her stare at you blankly? This is because the instant you walk up to a woman she spends the first few seconds of the interaction sizing up your non-verbal communication before she really pays attention to whatever it is you’re saying.

The wonderful thing about having strong inner game is that it seeps into your outer game through your non-verbal communication. Strong inner game knocks out neediness, approval seeking and try hard indicators from your non-verbal communication and replaces them with a relaxed and positive vibe; a vibe which women respond strongly to.

A common ailment that a lot of aspiring PUAs and seducers suffer from is the train of thought that seduction is a window of opportunity that they need to sneak through before a woman takes stock of what’s going on. This usually stems from low self-confidence and a lack of belief that they are men that are worthy of an attractive woman’s attentions and romantic pursuits.

So if you find yourself worrying about sneaking past a woman’s barriers before she figures out the ‘real you’, you’re doing it all wrong. A woman will eventually see past your lines and routines and peer into your faults and shortcomings. This might not always happen before you’ve charmed her into sleeping with you, but it will eventually happen. So take responsibility for yourself and your own inner game to help yourself become the type of man that a woman will fall more in love with each day.

If you want to tap into your inner-game I developed a system that automatically installs seductive traits directly into your subconscious mind, see the video located here.

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I think that the importance of comedic straight actors is often overlooked.

See? What I mean to say is, I think that the importance of comedic straight men is often overlooked, which is better as far as the comedic definition of “straight” is, but doesn’t include in “men” the wonderful talents of Aubrey Plaza. I think actor can be gender neutral, but even that is a bit of a qualified use, depending on the audience. So, for this particular essay, consider “straight actor” to mean “comedic straight men of both sexes” so that I don’t have to qualify every sentence going forward or use a lot of slashes.

I think the television show “Parks and Recreation” has two of the best straight actors in the business in Aubrey and Adam Scott. What makes a great straight actor is the ability to stand unruffled as the craziness around them escalates rapidly. Examples that leap into my head are Bud Abbott in “Who’s on First,” any one way phone conversation by Bob Newhart, and John Cleese in the sketch that opens, “I’d like to have an argument please.”

Of course, in “Parks and Recreation,” most all of the recurring cast plays straight actors in regards to the rest of Pawnee and they all do it well, especially Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman. Conversely, sometimes the town plays the straight actor to the craziness that spills forth from the Pawnee Parks Department. That allows Aubrey and Adam Scott to occasionally play crazy as Janet Snakehole or the nervous kid mayor on Perd Hapley’s show. (Or virtually any other Monty Python member in the previous argument link.) It’s nice to see good straight actors get that chance to go a little nuts. In Aubrey’s movie career, just like in “Parks and Recreation” there is a lot of straight and a hint of wacky in these five movies.

5. A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III

It took me a bit to decide between this one and “10 Years.” While “10 Years” has fellow “Parks and Recreation” star Chris Pratt and former subject Ari Graynor, “Charles Swan” has former subject Mary Elizabeth Winstead and the ultimate trump card, Bill Murray. As GZA put it best, “Bill mother-fucking Murray.”

4. Mystery Team

From the Derrick Comedy team (Donald Glover, DC Pierson and Dominic Dierkes), this movie explores what happens to kid crime solvers when they grow up. (The detective, like the doctor and the lawyer, seems to be a job staple in all forms of entertainment from 8 to 80. Note to self, write kid lawyer pilot.) The cast also contains a number of recognizable faces from NBC Thursday besides Aubrey and Glover.

3. Damsels in Distress

Thinking of Greta Gerwig, I still need to see “Frances Ha.” I keep putting it off because it means that I have to wait that much longer for my next movie theater Greta fix.

2. Safety Not Guaranteed

This movie is available on Netflix and I recommend sitting down and watching it now. Jake Johnson (“New Girl”), Mark Duplass (“The League”) and Aubrey all make this view of reporting, friendship, loneliness and creativity outside the norm well worth watching.

1. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Ranking this movie #1 again gives me the chance to mention past subject Mary Elizabeth Winstead again and then add future subjects Anna Kendrick, Alison Pill, Ellen Wong, Brie Larson and Mae Whitman.

Agree? Disagree? Which movies would make your Aubrey Plaza top five?

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Rihanna has, to be frank, been quite the lightning rod over the past few years with her relationship with Chris Brown. And while that’s something that certainly can be dealt with at a different time, what’s been lost in all of the nonsense is the fact that Rihanna is, and has always been, one of the hottest ladies around. As will no doubt be proven in the upcoming film “This Is The End,” where a whole bunch of comedy folks do their thing about the end of the world. And while it’s sure big news that the guys from “Freaks and Geeks” are all back together, what really makes our blood boil (but, in a good way!) is the news that Rihanna is in this. Because, just look.

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You’re always looking at her

You think you’re being seductive by trying to exchange glances with her across the room. She thinks you’re staring at her. If your eyes are boring into her every time she looks at you, she’s bound to think you’re a tad obsessive. While eye contact can be a great tool, it has its limits. You can only make eye contact with her so many times before it gets weird. At some point, you should stop staring at her from afar and just go up to her and talk to her.

You contact her too often

Be sparing with how often you contact her. If her phone is constantly buzzing with you texting her asking what she’s up to, she’s going to feel suffocated. She’ll imagine that if she actually got together with you, you would probably never let her out of your sight, making her even less inclined to give you a chance. If she hasn’t replied to the last few texts, take the hint and don’t keep sending more. Even if she has a soft spot for you, constantly contacting her will very quickly give her the impression that you’re far too clingy.

She’s probably just not interested

If a man she was enamoured with was always gazing at her and calling her all the time, she would be pretty excited. Yet when you do it, she thinks you’re a creep. The difference is that she doesn’t reciprocate your interest. The main reason she thinks you’re a creep is that she’s not interested in you. Your eager behavior serves only to repulse her further. You probably don’t have a chance in the near future, but if there is to be any hope at all, it is in you not acting so keen.

You complain that no girls like you

Perhaps it’s not as personal as you trying to get too close to her, too soon. It’s going to set off huge alarm bells in her head if you’re one to complain about how girls don’t go for nice guys, and you’re such a nice guy and you can’t understand why no girls respond to your advances. Alternatively, if you boast about how many chicks you got with last weekend, she will also think you’re a bit off. Your first mistake is in referring to women as girls/chicks or other words which give the impression that you haven’t realised women are fully grown humans. Your second mistake is talking about your successes and failures with a woman you’re trying to pursue. All you’re doing is giving her forewarning that you lack social skills with women, so she can form an opinion of you as a creep in advance of you actually doing anything creepy.

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For example, here’s what he says if you’re one of those clever hipsters who are wielding about a mustache:

What tools do you absolutely need to maintain a mustache?
You need a boar’s hair brush and a little balm if you want to have it look neat. The current trend is a little bit of a thick moustache that descends just below the top of the lip, until it’s almost hiding the lip. There are two types — the one that’s ever so slightly above the lip, with a thin line above the lip. But what we see more often is to leave the moustache more natural.

If you have a thin lip, you can camouflage your lip a little bit, make it seem bigger by having a thicker moustache above it. You can’t let your facial hair overgrow its original shape. You have to maintain the lines daily, otherwise when you go to shave, the razor won’t catch the hair evenly and you’ll have a jagged line. Especially in the morning, when you’re not completely awake yet, you want to have a clean line to follow.

But the advice goes beyond just the silly little hair on the top of your lip. Head on over to the link to check out the rest of the vital information, and then get to grooming gents.

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As far as I can tell there are three phases of a sports program. The first is that of a loser, not wishing to be harsh, but a team, no matter the sport, that loses more contests than it wins. The next step is the winner, when a team wins more that it loses and competes week in and week out with its opponents. The third step is the championship team, like Oklahoma, where anything short of a championship is a failure because of the continued success of the program.

All professional sports are already like this. There is no second place Super Bowl trophy, second place World Series trophy, second place Stanley Cup or whatever. There are expansion teams that work up to their first success, but once they are there (like the Tampa Bay Rays or Florida Marlins) they’re expected to compete to win every year.

Maybe college sports have been always been like this as well, but it seems to me that going to a bowl game or getting to the NCAA basketball tournament used to be, I don’t want to say enough, but it meant a good season. At some point, that no longer became true. Now, instead of competing against around 32 teams or less like the NFL, NBA, MLB, MLS or NHL, only one college team out of hundreds gets the championship. Fair? Sure, if you’re a fan of Oklahoma, but if not, like me, is it a realistic hope for my Missouri Tigers to beat 119 teams in football or 339 schools in basketball? Probably not. So, I head off to Tulsa, to celebrate the state’s college athletic success and to drown my college athletic sorrows at this first spot, before seeing what else Tulsa has to offer.

Drink many beers at James E. McNellie’s Public House

The beer list for James E. McNellie’s Public House in Tulsa is four pages of a pdf. I want to drink them all. My first choice will be a beer combo called the Chocolate Covered Banana that combines Young’s Double Chocolate Stout with Wells Banana Bread. Then, a Guinness and Black Bush whiskey and beer pairing followed by a flight of beers. Mmm, I have already forgotten what I was thinking about – it’s Cardinals baseball season.

Explore the Tulsa Air and Space Museum

As I recover from a sure to exist hangover, I hope the Tulsa Air and Space Museum won’t be too loud. Fortunately the F-14 Tomcat there doesn’t crank up its jet engines.

Go to the Woody Guthrie Center

The Woody Guthrie Center just opened recently as a place to exhibit the archives of Woody Guthrie’s work. One of the highlights is the handwritten lyrics of “This Land is Your Land.”

See one of the films at the Terrence Malick curated Philbrook Summer Film Series

During the month of July, the Philbrook Museum of Art will host a different film screening every Friday picked by Terrence Malick. The series starts with “Beat the Devil,” then goes to “The Lady Eve,” then “Zoolander” and finally “Badlands.”

Look at the Yellowstone exhibit at the Thomas Gilcrease Museum

I have a favorite mountain, Mount Moran in the Grand Teton Range in Wyoming. The Thomas Gilcrease Museum has an exhibit this summer featuring watercolors of the Yellowstone area by the namesake of that mountain. I’m there.

Any suggestions for things that I missed? Any additional recommendations for the area? Just let me know in the comments.

Leather or nothing

Bomber jackets are most commonly available in nylon or leather. Always go for leather. Nylon can be practical, but it’s far more practical than a civilian needs. Leather is more comfortable, and more importantly it looks better. Turn up your nose at any bomber jacket that isn’t leather, or at least a very good imitation of it. Any shade of leather is fine. Light brown leather is very 1970s, but don’t let that put you off. Keep your look modern and sleek, and maybe don’t have a bushy 70s facial hair if you’re going to go with brown leather.

Fuzzy vs. bald

Bomber jackets with a furred collar have two advantages over those lacking. Firstly, they’re warmer. Secondly, they look better. Bomber jackets without fur usually zip all the way up and have a mandarin collar. Doing it all the way up, including the collar, is honestly hideous. No matter what your body shape, this is the least flattering look you could ever go for on a jacket. For this reason alone, bomber jackets with a furred collar are preferable. A quality leather bomber jacket is even more divine with a shearling collar.

Getting a perfect fit

Bomber jackets are a great trick for skinny guys to bulk up without ever hitting the gym- all those pockets and the thick fabric make you look bigger than you are. You don’t need to be slim to don a bomber jacket though; they suit all body types as long as you get a decent fit. Watch out for length and shoulder width. A bomber jacket should hit the top of your hips, and have just enough give for you to comfortable move your shoulders. You should be able to zip it up without having to suck in your stomach, and it should have enough material that it doesn’t have to stretch over your abdomen at all when it’s zipped.

Some bomber jackets have elastic around the hem and cuffs- which adds another dimension to your jacket, but provides more challenge in getting the right fit. The elastic shouldn’t have to stretch at all while you’re wearing it. If you need to squeeze your hands through the wrist elastic, it’s not the right fit for you as eventually the cuffs will become stretched out.

What to wear it with

Bomber jackets, being quite puffy, look neat with snug pants. Fitted blue jeans paired with a bomber jacket make for a killer look on most guys. Maybe throw on a scarf to give your outfit a softer touch.

The top you wear under your bomber jacket should be fairly unnoticeable- you want all eyes on your jacket. You don’t want anything with a collar. A plain, long sleeved top in a muted color is ideal. It’s fine to wear a tee shirt, but not one with a graphic print.

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Which is why we’re heading over to Men’s Health where they have a list of tips about how to build those summer abs in time for you to whip off your shirt at the beach. Among the tips they have to get you on track:

Rocky Abs

How to do it
Lie on your back with your legs straight, arms extended behind your head, and hands grasping something that won’t move, such as a pair of heavy dumbbells. Raise your legs, butt, and lower back until they’re perpendicular to the floor. Your weight should rest on your upper back. Keeping your body as straight as possible, brace your core and take 5 to 10 seconds to lower your body. That’s 1 rep. Do 5 to 10.

Why it works
“Your muscles can handle more weight on the eccentric, or lowering, phase of a lift,” says Durkin. Slowing the pace of that phase forces your muscles to work harder, accelerating your gains.

So head on over to the link and check out the other four tips to get those abs in tip-top shape.

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1. Hit the gym.

This one is easy and actionable immediately. If you got dumped yesterday, you can always hit the gym and pump some iron today. I always feel better after a grueling 2-hour workout. Plus, working out is healthy and you look better too boot. I prefer CrossFit or a sport like basketball.

2. Book a trip.

Just the act of buying a plane ticket makes me feel better. This can be as simple as a weekend trip to visit some friends (preferably your bros) or as elaborate as planning a bro-cation to Vegas or some exotic locale. Last year my buddy got divorced so he planned a trip to Spain for running of the bulls and partying in Ibiza. He had an absolutely killer trip and got to chase some Spanish tail. Win all the way around.

3. Pick up some books.

Also actionable immediately, I like to get 3-4 books that are a mix of fiction, inspiration, and non-fiction. The original novel of Game of Thrones is addictive and will get your mind off your exploded relationship. Besides novels, don’t be afraid of books on personal growth. It’s always good to work on your inner game. I remember back in the day, the way I got over a bad breakup was reading Neil Strauss’ The Game for the first time. Totally changed my perspective.

4. Get a haircut and a new shirt.

Pretty self-explanatory. I always feel better when I look my best, so a haircut and a cool new shirt turns the trick.

5. Go out and get 5 numbers.

This is a classic way to get back in the saddle. I’ll usually go out with a wingman or two, get loaded on a Saturday night, and throw mad game around. By Sunday morning I’ll have 5 new numbers in my phone that are ready for dates the next week. If things go well, I might taken home the drunk chick at the bar also. I often combine this with #4 above for best results.

6. Get some ass.

The magic potion of feeling better after a breakup, nothing beats nailing a hottie or two post-breakup. It proves you still got the touch.

It usually takes me 2-3 days to get over a breakup, maybe longer if it’s really bad. I’ll sometimes do all of the above items even if the breakup isn’t that bad just because it’s good for your bro soul. Once I’m back in the saddle, I’ll usually take a couple of months to work on other projects before finding a new girlfriend.

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