Tudor-Virgil Constantin

Amazing Amazon.com

2011-11-18T11:47:00.001-08:00

Great statistics and facts about amazon.com
Impressive and somewhat frightening that Amazon has annual revenues bigger than half of the countries in the world.

Gongratulations Jeff.

Feel free to add this graphic to your blog:

My other web profiles

2011-10-14T00:48:00.000-07:00

In the last period, I have dedicated more of my time to software developing activities, so I have some new web profiles:

Hope to see you there too

Real Ghost Story

2009-02-11T22:19:00.000-08:00

LOUISIANA GHOST STORY
This happened about a month ago just outside
of Cocodrie, a little town in the bayou country
of Louisiana , and while it sounds like an Alfred
Hitchcock tale, it's real.

This out of state traveler was on the side of
the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night
in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and
no cars went by.

It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in
front of his face.
Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and
appearing
ghostlike in the rain It slowly and silently
crept toward him and stopped.

Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and
closed the
door; only then did he realize that there was
nobody behind the wheel,
and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.
Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was
terrified, too scared
to think of jumping out and running.

The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve
and,
still too scared to jump out, he started to pray
and begging for his life; he was sure
the ghost car would go off the road and in the bayou and
he would surely drown!
But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at
the driver's window and a hand reached
in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely
around the
bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared
through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again!

Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear
every time they reached a curve.
Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could
take and jumped out of the car and ran to town.

Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice
quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey,
then told everybody about his supernatural experience.

A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when
they realized the guy was
telling the truth (and not just some drunk).

About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and
one says to the other,

"Look Boudreaux, ders dat idiot that rode in our car
when we wuz pushin it in the rain."

You May Be a Taliban If...

2009-02-10T23:09:00.000-08:00

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You've often uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

21 Hints for a Happy Life

2008-12-30T02:09:00.000-08:00

1. Marry the right person . This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.

6. Be generous.

7. Have a grateful heart.

8. Persistence , persistence, persistence.

9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.

12. Commit yourself to quality.

13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions , power or prestige , but on relationship with people you love and respect.

14. Be loyal.

15. Be honest .

16. Be a self-starter.

17. Be decisive even it it means you'll sometimes be wrong.

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

20. Take good care of those you love.

21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

How to please your IT Department

2008-12-23T20:59:00.000-08:00

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it
buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals,
dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a
life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error
messages from here.

3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee.
That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for
us
to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's
keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get
into
your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete
it at once. We're just testing.

6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and
spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and
flags it as a rush delivery.

8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's
electronics in it.

9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer
support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

10. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call
computer support. We're collectors.

11. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T.
person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the
problem. We love a puzzle.

12. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have
cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

13. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply
in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by
shortly?". That motivates us.

14. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times.
Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

15. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to
all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

16. Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know
exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".

17. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

18. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your
dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were
designed to have 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.

19. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the
mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of
muffin
crumbs and nail clippings in them.

20. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that "Yes"
button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be
doing it, would you?

21. When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit
uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs
up. We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

22. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about
that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of
professional expertise referred to as crap.

23. When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call
I.T. support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task,
and
Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional
engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

24. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary
to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a
third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.

25. When you receive a 50mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as
a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.

26. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller
chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the
queue.

27. When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company.
People out in Pofadder like to keep abreast of what's going on.

28. When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a
Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.

29. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your
own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.

30. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office,
leave the documentation at home. We'll find all the settings and
drivers somewhere.

31. Keep it crashing!

Great Ideas to entertain men

2008-12-22T20:32:00.000-08:00

I've done a few of these. It made the trips worthwhile, to me. Okay,
okay. I just did number 13.
The other's I haven't tried will be soon.
I would appreciate other activities you all might think of to keep me
entertained (and not arrested).

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most
women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following
letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in
our store.We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below
and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1.June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
weren't looking.

2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite
them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding
department.

8. August 23:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.

10. September 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.

11. October 3:My Favorite
Darted around the store, suspiciously, while loudly humming theMission
Impossible' theme ..

12. October 6:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different
sizes of funnels.

13. October 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME!

14. October 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position
and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least...

15. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

PS: I received this on a mailing list I am subscribed to. I don't know who wrote it originally but is extremely funny and it would be a loss not to share

Being Intelligently Selfish - The key to total success

2008-12-07T10:02:00.000-08:00

Being Intelligently Selfish - The key to total success

According to Wikipedia Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others. Selfishness is the opposite of altruism (Selflessness).

We, as human beings have needs, lots of them, and so have our peers. If we take an outer look at what is near us, at all the people, and all the actions those people take, we can elaborate some interesting conclusions. All of us have a degree of selfishness within us. This quantity of selfishness determines our level of success in life.

If all the time we think only to ourselves, and none of the time to the people close to us, we will sooner or later wake up being all alone -- this is something that is rarely a real wish.

If, instead, we think at ourselves, but looking at us through the eyes of the persons we have contacts with, we get to see things in a very different manner:

- if your wife/husband/girl/boyfriend is happy, she/he makes you happy -- very happy -- so make them feel you are there for them, whatever you do, do it for them, and they will do whatever it takes to keep you and make you happy.

- if your boss is happy, if your company is happy, you will definitely be happy, because they will not want to lose the person who makes them happy

- if your co-workers are happy, they will try to do their best keep YOU - you will get to be happy

- if you make a stranger you meet by chance happy, he will try to stay in contact with you for as long as its possible, you will start to build successful relationships wherever you go and with whoever you meet.

If you make the universe happy, the universe will make you happy back. Do whatever it takes to make everybody around you happy. A free compliment, a good sweet word said by heart, a kind smile - everything counts for the better. Be "selfish" - make the ones around you happy and you will be more happy then ever. You deserve it, they deserve it.

Maximum efficiency

2008-11-16T10:46:00.000-08:00

Proposal to maximize the efficiency of software development process (by Tudor Constantin)

Summary

Goals/targets of the paper

Proposing a new and better work system for software development industry
Increasing the overall satisfaction of all the actors in the software development industry:
- The customers gain:
  - Faster delivered software products
  - Better products
  - Lower costs for the same product
- The software company will have:
  - An objective way to evaluate and reward workers
  - A more competitive and meritocratic work environment
  - More enthusiast, motivated workers
  - Higher work efficiency
  - More satisfied customers
- The employees:
  - The possibility to advance on the fast track
  - The possibility to earn more money
  - A higher sense of involvement and importance
  - The possibility to do what they like and know best

Motivational patterns
There are two ways people get motivated: 'away from' and 'toward to.' Both have advantages, and each person tends to use one style preferentially.
Away from people look at their problems, try to find solutions, and thus move “away from” the problem. Toward people dream up their ideal goals and then find ways to move towards them.

Away from people:

Tend to concentrate on problems and do anything to avoid them
The bigger the problem, the more motivated is the person
Their motivation decreases when the problem disappears, gets solved

Toward to people:

They set goals and based on the reward of the goal they do whatever is necessary to achieve it
They tend to consider each goal a challenge
The bigger the rewards (based on their own system of values) , the more challenging the goal gets, so the bigger the driving force toward achieving it becomes

Common people are affected by both ways of motivation.

All of the above patterns comes into action for satisfying individual needs.

Abraham Maslow synthesized and categorized the human needs in a pyramid called Maslow's hierarchy of needs (see the image below).

On short, the first 4 levels of the pyramid are called deficiency needs or basic needs and the needs from the last level are called growth needs. When a basic need (like security of employment, of health, of body, friendships, etc) is satisfied, it is no longer a motivational factor in one’s life. Instead, growth needs like self-actualization, although they become active when the rest of the basic levels are satisfied, they are enduring motivations or drivers of behavior.

Current motivational environment

The companies which we talk about now thrives to offer to their employees a work environment in which the employee feels protected. They offer employment stability, there are people working in the company since 10-20 or more years ago, they rarely if ever decrease salaries, instead, they periodically increase salaries and there are extremely rare examples of people being fired. All these factors are aimed to make the employee feel safe and protected. On one hand this is a good thing, because the employee will rarely take the risk and go out to seek a new, better workplace. On the other side, the employee will be always satisfied with his workplace, he will rarely tend to improve himself, his quality of work and productivity will remain the same over the entire course of his employance. Even if an employee starts with high levels of motivation, in a longer or shorter period of time he tends to invest less and less effort in his work. If the company is satisfied with his peers low level of work, the company will be satisfied with his low level of work also. There are extreme rare examples of companies whom are able to virtually unlimitedly increase their employees wages in order to keep them ever motivated. This is the case in most of the state workers and state working environment.

The New system

The new performance measurement system

The new performance measurement system is based on a credit evaluation of work
Each complete task brings to its crafter a number of credits.
At the end of the month, each programmer will have gained a specific amount of credits
We define 100 credits as the amount of work to be done in one working week (40 hours of normal work) by one medium software developer. So, an average programmer is able to gain 100 credits per week.
A developer is able to gain credits by finishing on time his assigned tasks, or by offering consultancy to other colleagues and agreeing with them to the amount of credits he will receive from their task credits.
A developer will lose credits based on the following system:
- If he/she does not finish the task, or terminates it in more than 4 times the original amount of time originally settled
- If he/she finishes the task on time will earn the whole amount of credits, if the programmer exceeds the original time, the amount of credits earned decreases proportionally to the increasing of the overtime. So for example if a programmer has to do something in one week for 100 credits, he will get only 50 credits after 2½ weeks of work. After 4 weeks of work, he gets nothing.
- If he/she requests consultancy, the consultant will be able to requests a number of credits for his precious advice.

The new performance based rewarding system

Instead of raising the wages based on a timely fashion (there is a raise at every 3, 6 or 12 months), we create a premium fund -- this will grow at the same rate as the previous, periodically, permanent raises.
So for example, if we have a team of 10 people, instead of increasing the budget for that team by let’s say 600 EUR by giving them permanent increased wages, we create a monthly premium fund of 600 EUR. Each member of the team will be able to earn a part of that premium fund, based on the number of credits they earned in the current month.
Each month, there will be a top of the workers for each team, based on the credits they earned during this period of time. Based on this:
- the top 20% performers will get 50% of the premium fund (in our beautiful real world 20% of the people of the planet owns 80% of all the money in the world, so a 20-50 rule is rather socialist than capitalist)
- next 40% performers get 40%,
- the next 20% get 10% of the premium
- the last 20% gets nothing – they will have to try harder next month.

Tasks assignment process

Due to the fact that each developer normally wants to make the easy, pleasant, and highest rewarded work, we must set an objective way of assigning tasks

The task assignment process is based on a bidding system:
There are a number of tasks that has to be done in a period of time.
Let’s say for example that 5 tasks of different importance levels and different difficulty have to be done in 1 week and we have a team of 3 different people. These 3 people also have different levels of professional skills.
- The amount of time that the tasks has to be done, sets the amount of credits a developer is able to bid for that bucket of tasks (in our case, each programmer can bid totally 100 credits for all 5 tasks)
The team leader/project manager will assign each task based on several factors:
- The number of credits a developer bided for that task
- The importance of the task (how important it is to be done strictly on time, bug free, etc ), correlated with the experience and professional reliability of the lowest bidders

The expected logical workflow

The programmers will bid high on tasks they don’t want to do and low on tasks they want to do. A developer wants to do a task if he can do the task by himself, if the task is rewarding enough and if he enjoys the process of doing it.
Gifted developers will tend to bid low on challenging tasks and of high complexity and will bid high on monotone, boring tasks
Less gifted developers will tend to bid low on monotone tasks and high on hard to do tasks.
Although, the team leader decides who what does.

Features and benefits

The company will have a very dynamic and objective way of evaluating and reward their personnel
The programmers will have the possibility to choose what they like and can do, so they will be more enthusiast
The employees will be able to determine how much they earn each month – this means more enthusiasm

Conclusion

Now, a programmer can come with a high amount of excuses regarding why he did not finish his tasks on time. From having a bad day/week/month, personal problems, the need to be creative and the fact that you cannot impose targets on creativity , to the lack of experience, or of proper training, these are all common excuses met, not only in the software developing industry but in all kind of production environments. Of course, some excuses are well founded, but most of the obstacles can be easily overcome if the person really wants to. This paper wants to be an blueprint of how to make the people want to overcome the obstacles, and if they successfully do it, they get rewarded for it. It’s a win-win system.

This is not by far a complete document. Here I proposed a system for evaluating only the software developers. There are still team leaders, testers, system designers, architects, managers who’s activities might be well improved and has to be integrated with this working system. Anyway, the hard part is covered, the software developing process can be quantified, the developer can be stimulated to work, to be creative, to learn and improve as fast as he can.

Comments, thoughts, critics and feedback are all appreciated and really welcomed.

Thank you for reading this and keep close, because there is more to come.

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

2008-10-12T10:19:00.000-07:00

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over
all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does
not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America
without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you
noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:

(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour',
'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut'
without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by
the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary
to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let M*crosoft
know on your behalf. The M*crosoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers,
or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows
that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for
shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or
speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you
wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will
go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
tables.

Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense
of humour.

8. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are
properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and
dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as
beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred
to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for
pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the
beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for
them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so
that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play
English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in
Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears
removed with a cheese grater.

12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try rugby -
the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.

14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies
due (backdated to 1776).

16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers,
and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus
strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

Don't quit - motivational poem

2008-10-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! if you must; but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow;
You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit;
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

- by anonymous

Teaching effectively stock markets

2008-10-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man
appeared and announced to the villagers that he would
buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys
around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started
to diminish, they became harder to catch, so the villagers
stopped their effort.

The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for
each one. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and
they started catching monkeys again. But soon the supply
diminished even further and they were ever harder to
catch, so people started going back to their farms and forgot
about monkey catching.

The man increased his price to $25 each and the supply
of monkeys became so sparse that it was an effort to even
see a monkey, much less catch one.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for
$50! However, since he had to go to the city on some
business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf. While
the man was away the assistant told the villagers: "Look
at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought.
I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man
returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50
each."

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
However, they never saw the man nor his assistant again and once again there
were monkeys everywhere.
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock
market works!

Teaching politics efectively to kids

2008-10-07T23:00:00.000-07:00

Last time when I laugh out loud was the day when my 4 years old then daughter learned what politics is all about. It was the 30th of September, just a day after her birthday. She came and asked me "dad, what is POLITICS?".
I said 'Well dear, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your 2 years old baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little sweet goes off to bed thinking about what I had said.
Later that night, she hears her baby brother crying, so she gets up to check on him.
She finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little Eliza comes to our room and finds her mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, she goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, she peeks in the keyhole and considers its not the best moment to knock. She gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, my sweetheart comes to me, 'Tudor, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'
I am saying, 'Good, darling, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
She then replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.'