Tumba Lata

We have evacuated!

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Mon, 16 Sep 2013 09:27:00 +0000

We gonna miss you, guys, but at long last, we are leaving this site as we have found a new place: www.tumbalatamindanao.wordpress.com

Our deepest gratitude to those of you who have followed us, through thick and thin, and we hope to see you again in our new site.

Biggest thanks goes to Kim Loraine, this site's original founder, for the trucking services, as well as the new design in our new residence, without which, we would have not managed.

Magsukul tuud, kataymanghuran!!!

Kamaya daran!
tumbalata people

SSC Girls

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 02:25:00 +0000

Who Are We

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 02:07:00 +0000

(from an unprinted Tumba Lata Jolo brochure in Tausug)

What’s Tumba Lata? Why are we here in Sulu? What, is there money in here? These are some of the most frequently asked questions thrown at us.

Our intentions are not so bad. Only one thing we want to achieve: To increase our knowledge and awareness that we young lesbians of Jolo may also take part in changing society. Kind of corny, hmm?

Many are the problems confronting our society: the ceaseless violence and fightings, by and by if they run out of fodder to fire they will turn to us. Then the problem of joblessness, most of our parents are without jobs, and us your so-called hope of the Fatherland, have nowhere to go.

Most of the youth in our town are unschooled, some get into drugs, and there are those who rape girls, and of the girls, there are those who get pregnant before they could marry, and there are those who get beaten on the street. All of this are concerns we at Tumba Lata do care about.

What do we want? A lot. To deepen our understanding about our selves; about the society we live in and about the history and situation of Sulu; as well as to improve our knowledge and life skills and develop a sense of love for our country and community, that we may be able to participate in the task of changing society.

When did we set up our group?

The first founders’ meeting of Tumba Lata wherein we met to decide and agree on the setting up of a lesbian organization was done at the port area, our favourite hangout. It was on the 18th of March 2011, also anniversary of Bangsamoro Freedom Day. We decided to organize ourselves because we observed that most of us street lesbians were into all sorts of vices , getting into all sorts of trouble all the time. The idea of a lesbian organization fighting for our own rights gave hope and inner strength.

How many are we?

Like so many other organizations searching for truth and justice in the face of so many lies and infirmities, most of us are totally unwilling. About 30 lesbians enlisted as members, but not all of these are full-pledged or bona fide members. The active members are about 17 to 20 excluding our best friends, our aunts and cousins. Beg your pardon, dear sirs madams, but there is no money to gain from this our sorry organization. Truth to tell, we don’t ration livelihood. We are just doing our best to do what we can do that in our belief will be good for us ungrateful heartless street dykes.

How do we look at ourselves?

Most of us think of ourselves as boys. Before we would not use the word “lesbian” to refer to ourselves. Most of our parents and elders also prefer for us to behave like boys because we can do things that girls cannot or are not allowed to do. They think lesbians are smart in that we can look after ourselves. They are only worried that because of our street-smart ways, we might one day die from a streetfight. They like to tell us not to dress up as boys bcause it is not nice to look at. Otherwise, it is okay with them if we don’t like boys and don’t go out on a date with boys . They are even grateful that for preferring girls, we won’t get pregnant and bring disgrace to our families.

Since our organizations is still young, we are still in the process of introducing ourselves to the NGO-CSOs and the Muslim community in Jolo. We look forward to being accepted and recognized by other NGOs and religious organizations. As a young lesbian organization, we want to be part of an effort for social change. But we can only do this if we overcome ignorance and illiteracy and our apathy towards the world around us. We understand that one reason why we have such a low self-esteem and why people look down on us is because most of us are unschooled and illiterate. Truth to tell, most of us don’t like reading and writing. Often, it is so much easier for us to get lost in the street. We find it punishing that we should be made to read or write or think of school and self-improvement and such stuff.

As an organization for young lesbians, we also try to help high school drop-outs and those who have fallen into high-risk activities. It is important for us that those in school remain in school. We also want to help and support women’s rights, because like us, women have a low status in our society. Women have so little value in Tausug society, they don’t enjoy the same rights that men have. That’s why if they get raped or abused, they are the ones who are being blamed and made to suffer shame, while the rapists are allowed to roam free, like they committed no crime.

What are our priorities?

Foremost in our agenda is the welfare of the street lesbians. But more importantly, we understand that we are part of the bigger society and therefore have to work for the good of the bigger community. We know that many are the problems confronting Muslim society. That is why we need to strengthen our bodies and sharpen our minds that we may claim our own place in Muslim society and we be recognized by the Muslim community as legitimate citizens and members of this community. This will only happen after the attached to being “tomboy” has been removed. And unless people’s view of us as “freaks of nature” is changed, we will never have a chance at changing our lives and improving our chances.

The Practice of Gender in NGO work (Or some paper you set out to write and quite don’t know how to get through)

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:33:00 +0000

Let me explain what I aim to do here: I am trying to make an assessment of “gender practice”. I want to trace the growth of a “gender policy” in development intervention. By gender policy I mean how the equality project had been built into the program structures and mechanisms of Philippine development organizations or to what extent has gender equality been promoted as a social practice.

I need to state that when I set out to do this, I was not thinking of a research methodology that produces data in terms of “aggregate responses” or “matrices” as demanded or expected by traditional monitoring and evaluation offices that also invested or financed this agenda. There are ways I know: participant-observer approach (by just being there), content analysis (by reading into the text), interviews (by reading through policy statements). I scanned articles, gender studies, project reports I had accessed; I interviewed program coordinators; talked with friends and fellows in the development circle; I distributed questionnaires, read words put on paper. Policy statements, I found out, were the less reliable: while helpful towards appreciating the gender intent of every program, they do not in themselves make practice: They also tend to be shamelessly positivist, therefore complacent and self-congratulating, if not subtly and invidiously gender-hostile.

Another thing I need to state is my choice of the word gender. When I first drafted this paper I used the phrase feminist practice. I turned the word over and over in my head and concluded that “feminist” would rather force the issue, i.e., measure what is (the practice) against the construct that I demand (feminist). I had to settle for “gender”: I told myself it would make the critique more neutral, or maybe neutered, “objective". It would also make me less relentless and more merciful, ergo, mediocre, but I am in charge here, so No problem.

Now to proceed: A good place to look in critiquing “gender as practiced” in development work would be in the implementation. There one could see how gender policy is made to work, brought afield in the program and community level. This proved more difficult than I had imagined. While talking to my friends in the NGOs and taking in their words, I realized that it would not be enough to ask how much change and what changes took place. I also had to ask where. In the program beneficiary level? If I focus on the beneficiary level or what my friends refer to as the community or grassroots women, does this mean using standard socio-economic indices? That is, measuring gains through the GDI or Gender Development Index, which measures inequality in achievement between men and women using human development index or HDI, which is gauged in turn by the use of three main indicators, namely: life expectancy, educational attainment, and standard of living.

I was always of the conviction that gender practice goes beyond the socio-economic dimension. I am also wary of development measured in terms of aggregate populations. Gender practice is social, political; it strikes through the whole gamut of the culture and politics of those who propose and unpropose change. So No. The questioning must begin where change or the idea of change was first introduced, articulated: among the activists, in the development organizations. Examine, question the culture, the practice as it takes shape, operates among the self-proclaimed equality bearers themselves.

So there. The foremost subject of this study is not the women in their hovels (the GDI and poverty studies should take care of that), but the project holders themselves: the foremost change agents, the development workers, the NGO practitioners. It was them who raised it first in the first place, and it is them who have the vision, the resources, the wherewithal to carry it out.

Okay, now. Let’s have a little review of this gender politics:

If you took a little interest, you could have not missed it, and it must have annoyed you some, that over the last two decades GOs and NGOs have been stepping up gender programs. Let me argue that this has happened because donor agencies, in their eagerness to take advantage of the shift from political approaches to economic development projects in the wake of the “post-conflict” era, demanded of their Third-World partners a new criteria in development programs: GAD or the gender and development approach, simplified as the gender framework.

GAD is a byproduct of WID or the women in development framework first introduced in the early 70s. WID sought to identify women’s situation and tried to ensure that women partook of the opportunities and benefits gained from development processes. The switch from women to gender relations is in recognition of the differing roles of men and women in society. GAD draws lessons from women projects that failed because they ignored the social and family structures in which development was to take place. Or so its proponents explained.

As a strategy in development practice, I would say that GAD moves away from (women’s) rights to (gender) approach. The former is basically a political stance, in line with the militancy of the 80s, the latter an essentially economic strategy which seeks to find relevance within the new economic-development regime. I insist on this distinction, namely, between women’s rights as a political claim and GAD as an economic development tool, as it serves my purpose of characterizing the present direction taken by the women’s movement in my country. My contention is, this economic-development project has siphoned off much of the political energies and resources of the women’s movement and is responsible in part for the retrenchment in the militant camp, a possibility Delia Aguilar, in an earlier paper, warned about, when she discussed women organizations’ falling within aid agency structures.

In this paper I insist on political practice, meaning, the aggregate conscious efforts (of political groups and development organizations) at emancipating themselves and women. I lay emphasis on the importance of organizations or a political movement as forerunner of future claims.

A little history should be in order here:

That Filipino women actively participated in the anti-colonial struggle and the 20^th-century anti-imperialist war is a popular notion. It is also very true. In the 70s and 80s the nationalist-democratic led rebellion also enlisted women in the armed revolution. But as in all other revolutionary organizations the world over, leadership had always been male. I am not complaining. But I repeat: as in the tradition of all revolutions, leadership had always been traditionally male. And the natdem revolution has a long history of mobilizing women “in support of the goals of revolution”.

The national-democratic revolution created and unleashed the Malayang Kilusan ng BAgong Kabbaihan or Makibaka. Makibaka sprung from the women’s bureau of the Kabataang Makabayan of Patriotic Youth, the kids who started it all. In 1972, Makibaka changed Malaya (free) into Makabayan (patriotic or nationalist) to emphasize the national-democratic content of its emancipation prject. During the Martial Law years these young mavericks were deployed all over the country. Their mission: to build a basic alliance of women across all sectors of society: the workers, the peasants, and lower petty bourgeoisie.

The women emancipation movement of the 70s was not a thoroughly g&d project. It had liberal beginnings: while partly fired by the declaration of Martial Law, it was also goaded by the (second-wave) feminist movement abroad and by the anti-establishment, anti-convention and anti-war currents of the 60s and 70s, following jazz, Watergate, John F.Kennedy’s assassination, the Vietnam war, etc. It was a product of an intellectual ferment as well – bourgeois by class origin, pro-poor by education, and pro-change at heart. It donned the mini-skirt, heckled at the imperialists, stoned Malacanang. It also enjoyed some sexual freedom. This side later became the “bourgeois feminism” which was dismissed and cast out as decadent harmful to the revolution. It was the grim side that consolidated itself, forming a phalanx of support for the national-democratic project of the protracted-struggle strategy.

The Makibaka women became the progenitors of present-day “national-democratic feminism” which upholds a revolutionary tradition that has always laid great stress on the need to unify in bringing down the structures of oppression that victimize “the Filipino people, men and women”. One of its oldest calls is to combat wrong ideas that work against the “solid unity” of the oppressed class, an indestructible line that has survived through the present era of cultural multidiversity and gender difference.

A popular notion in the national liberation struggle of the 70s which thrived on through the 80s was to embrace the important role of women as wives and mothers of revolutionaries, a dissociation from the Western bourgeois feminism which rejected being relegated to the unpaid sector, i.e., the home. To the Filipino revolutionary of this mould, her biggest contribution to the struggle for freedom and national democracy is “to be where she is at her best”: care of the family and the children, who would purportedly carry on the struggle that is not separate but one with the men.

In the 80s following the Edsa euphoria which brought to power the first woman president of the republic, the natdem-led women’s movement let loose a wave of fury that ripped through the newly gained democratic space, what Dolores Stephens-Feria calls the feminist backlash. The backlash refers to the vengeance on the macho government of the deposed Marcos who, speaking of his opponent prior to his defeat in the 1985 snap election, announced to media that “a woman’s place is in the bedroom”.

Feminist backlash is also descriptive of the rise of the women’s movement following the disgraceful exit of the Marcos family to Hawaii. The phrase as explained by Feria is counterpoint to the “feminine mystique” which Imelda Marcos so exquisitely if brazenly wore in all the years that her husband was in power. It was a mighty whip, indeed, rallying everyone around every issue of the day: human rights and the desaparecido, foreign debt, US military bases, BNPP, land reform. Accompanying it was a confetti of literature glorifying women’s participation in the struggle, then happily phrased “women’s role in changing society”.

It was an era of belief which released the feminist debate, creating a new consciousness and a whole range of benefits in social practice. In kapihans and NGO kitchens and staffhouses, the air was thick with ideas: Commercial sexworkers should unionize; Paternity leave should be legislated; Abortion should be legalized. A whole gamut of contraband claims that ran alongside if not under the current of mainstream discourse over “overriding economic and human rights concerns”. There was as well a “breakage” into a new female languaging albeit on the fringes of party-line debate –partly aided by the all-important flourishing of prose and poetics that dealt with, alongside repression, equality rights and sexual politics–. Fiction from Latin America, South Africa and other intransigent countries made the rounds of activist circles. Down here in the heart of the country where things were happening, the insurgent writings of Jun Cruz Reyes, Lualhati Bautista, Eman Lacaba, National Midweek regulars and a slew of modernist and post-modernist propositions ran through the subterrains of official agenda, putting to the test God, Men and Religion.

While the then formidable KMU and KMP and their women contingents debated the overthrow of the semi-feudal and semi-colonial setup, the “bourgeois feminists” –albeit also cause-oriented and equally agog about land occupation, revolutionary taxation and armed insurrection –were struggling as ever before with “other” questions.

Gariela did what it could do best: organize, mobilize women into joining the broad protest action over the “basic issues” –land reform, the US bases, foreign debt, oil price hikes, militarization–. Discourse and lectures within this broad alliance primarily revolved around the burden on women of WB-IMF policies. Gender oppression was unremittingly and appropriately attributed to the problem of poverty and maldevelopment borne of the international financial institution’s imposition.

Reproductive health and reproductive rights basically went around “protecting women’s health”. So little discussions on sexual politics bolted out, and if ever, it was immediately guided back to the correct line, i.e., made sure feminist thought did not go far in challenging male hegemony in the liberation movement and did not go against accepted social practices. The good thing is, Gab’s women’s rights campaigns did break away from the many silences that so characterized women’s self-definition. What were once taboo subjects were encroached into and a wealth of data into women’s realities were brought forth. Cases of rape, incest, battering and abuse were exposed. And while this disclosure did not escape media’s sexism and voyeurism, it did a good turn in shattering the myth of the home as a safe place for women.

The feminist wave of the 80s did not exclude Moro activists who were also then engaged in the self-determination and social transformation project. In lieu of Gabriela Silang, Moro feminists looked up to Khadidya and other female figures in the Koran for models of feminist behavior. Khadidya is the Prophet Mohammad’s wife whose sensational acts included propositioning the prophet and leading Muslim men and women in the bloody crusade against non-believers.

There was also in the 70s the MNLF-led secessionist struggle that engaged Moro women. Their participation was particularly valuable at the height of the armed confrontations with government soldiers wherein, beside doing the more traditional functions of food provisioning and nursing the wounded, women also served as couriers and communication lines between camps. They smuggled supplies and ammunitions between the urban and rual commands. They took part in combat. The necessities of war forced many of them to go to the hills and join the men in the camps.

But to go back to GAD:

An important GAD agenda is the so-called “feminization of poverty”. This discourse was borne of the critique of the structural adjustment policy adopted by Third World governments in the 70s and 80s in compliance with WB-IMF requirements which, among others, resulted to cuts in public spending and withdrawals of social services perceived as beneficial to women. SAP placed great emphasis on production for market (dominated by men) as against production for subsistence (dominated by women). According to this critique, the new WB-IMF dictated policies either displaced women from the productive sector or rendered their labor invisible while overburdening them in the unpaid sector.

One result of this feminization-of-poverty discourse is the new importance placed on woman in the reproductive sphere. In what seemed like an attempt at revaluating women’s “productivity” in reproducing goods and services that make possible the maintenance and development of the market economy, pro-women initiatives over the past decade have tended to support women’s role in the reproductive sphere, the “Western” feminists’ dreaded home. Aid agencies focused on meeting “practical gender needs” while mulling over their more strategic interests. New criteria in granting assistance are being implemented as the nurturant role is extolled anew.

Welfare services, credit facilities, even relief goods delivered during calamities now target female beneficiaries as priority clients. Widows, lactating mothers, malnourished children, the disabled, the elderly, are identified on the assumption that households with these variables have lower surviving capacities compared to the other poverty groups and therefore more deserving of food relief. Curiously, feminists of every tendency took well to this approach and even set up their own reproductive health programs which specifically involved women and only marginally, if at all, engaged men who mostly had little else to do themselves. Reproductive has become the most urgent issue of the day, and what’s good for mother was supposed to be good for child, as conveyed in the tearjerker womenandchildren.

The reproductive-mothers’ rights (as distinguished from the more inclusive women’s rights, I’d argue) approach works within the new economic-development scheme in that it seeks to redistribute welfare without questioning the power structures in the macro economic level and without challenging those in power and privilege, including or specifically the men. The policy is not without merit: it revalidates women’s claim for recognition of their unevaluated labor, and has produced a modicum of economic benefits otherwise unavailable to them. The “demerit” is however strategic and deep: in terms of restructuring decision-making patterns in the household, and in terms of changing power relations between men and women, there is little to see.

Translated into development practice, this female construction works against creating new opportunities that would improve women’s position in the economic-and-political-relations balance, thus recycling a system that does not recognize their productive capacities nor properly institutionalizes their political empowerment. In other words, even as women actually work longer labor hours and actually produce more goods and services than are accounted of them, or even actually earning more than what is seen, opportunity structures for greater productivity and political empowerment continue to ignore them. Well-meaning NGOs and aid agencies, for all they’re here for, do not run out of economic projects that persistently reassign women in the subsistence sector (e.g., sewing, nata de coco making, rug-making, mat-weaving, etc.).

But the reproductive-woman movement has met with some success. Environmentalists, for instance, have come up with a new idea in the conservation and protection advocacy known as “eco-feminism”. This school essays that women’s nurturing powers –as against men’s rapacious tendencies– as their preoccupation with war and power would show, can be harnessed in environmental work. The idea has been midwived in part by middle-class women in tireless search of new roles and new sources of recognition which they like to pass on and propagate among their grassroots women sisters. The oft-invoked image of this school is the babaylans and their healing powers in the more peaceful and more egalitarian reign of the matriarch of yonder times.

I’d like to say something about the middle-class women: They have always played an important role in the emancipation project. They have always stood at the helm of the women’s struggle. Whether they like it or not, they speak to, for, and in behalf of, other women, the mass whose lives they do not, and cannot, if they can help it, share. Though they might never negotiate their way through patriarchy, they can and do relate to those in power in ways unavailable to those women in the canefields and servants’ quarters.

So where are we now after all these years?

I’d say we are stuck. I’d say we gone yellow mellow, too. Or if you like, okay, we sobered up. This sobering and mellowing take many forms: 1) reconciliation with the home and the nursing role, including the baby-making role maybe; 2) pacifism and rejection of war and power; 3) dialogue via male-friendly Gender Sensitivity Trainings in lieu of an autonomous independent self-organizing project that does not seek out male approval; 4) welfarism via livelihood projects that purportedly bring in additional incomes that support the family; and 5) institutionalization or collaboration with and self-accommodation into male processes, structures in lieu of struggle and adversarial politics that seeks to dismantle or disperse male turfs.

Of course all of the above presume a generous supply of good will from men, purportedly our partners in the struggle and themselves, our more generous sisters would like to tell us, “victims of the system”.

In themselves these paths are bringing in benefits to women: from free health services and child care to “skills enhancing” trainings and credit facilities. Bandaging these together are conscienticizing and sensitization work which aim at persuading, lovingly, maybe lyingly, both government and men and ourselves, us, women, to improve this what we call gender relations.

Okay. I will end by posing more questions:

So as activists that we are and correctly pro-feminist as we claim ourselves to be, what do we do? How create material conditions that effect change in social practice? And how do it within the structures and processes of alternative endeavors that we seek to create within the present socio-economic and political realities?

To the foremost feminists and gender advocates of us all, how not to be afraid of power and conflict? How to wield our guns and kill the Cinderellas in us.

Hags Bulletin
March 2002

A reader writes

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:25:00 +0000

Sheif, I haven't really delved into a lot of lesbian literature, much more its internationalist perspective and so this paper (The Couple This Painful Problem) comes as a "heavy" material to digest and it’s kinda difficult to contextualize given the fact that my worldview has evolved rather differently from the perspective of this article .

I'm painfully aware of my intellectual deficiency on the level of my understanding on lesbian issues, especially when viewed as part of the broader international feminist movement and as in this article, within the advance of the neoliberal project.

Having said that, I have tried to reconnect the wires in my brain to fully understand this materialist analysis on lesbian loving arrangements and surprisingly enough I agree on some elements of the discourse.

Thanks Sheilf for sharing this. It is very enriching. I may have to get back to you after going through it again and hopefully give you a much more informed take that this paper deserves. Hey, great job your blog!

Dainty Bebak

Indigenous Spirituality Anyone?

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:24:00 +0000

In Papua today, to talk about indigenous spirituality is to talk about something that is true in the past.

Sometime last year, I went with a group of women to join an exposure and educational trip in Bukidnon among the Talaandig and Matigsalug tribes. The occasion was a cultural exchange between West Papua and Mindanao facilitated by Mindanao People’s Caucus and Concord, a Dutch development agency engaged in indigenous people’s development. With us were one journalist from the Suara Perempuan Papua (Voice of Papuan Women), an alternative weekly, and five members of the Majelis Rakyat Papua (MRP) or Papuan People’s Assembly, four of whom women.

MRP is a state body established in 2005 to represent the interests of the indigenous peoples in West Papua. Established in compliance with a provision in the Special Autonomy granted the West Papuans in 2001, it is tasked to protect the cultural sovereignty of the Papuans. Part of MRP’s authority is ensuring that custom and culture are respected, women’s rights protected and harmonious religious life upheld.

Mindanao indigenous women, like the West Papuan women in the delegation, are also currently engaged in a struggle for peace. An important aspect of this struggle is the reclaiming of their ancestral lands which are now largely in the hands of outsiders, mainly migrant and corporate business interests. Conflict in both West Papua and Mindanao, participants to the cultural exchange believe, have their roots in the historical injustice that had turned indigenous peoples into marginal farmers and virtual scavengers in their own lands.

West Papuan women’s interest in Mindanao’s indigenous women partly comes from the latter’s rather famed role in conflict resolution and peace-building. The visit to Mindanao, it was hoped, would make an important learning experience especially in the practice of indigenous spirituality and customary law and in how these serve their peace-making roles. But in Papua today, according to Frida Tabita Kelasin of the MRP’s Women Working Group and head of the Papuan delegation that visited Mindanao, to talk about indigenous spirituality is to talk about something that is true in the past as most of West Papua are now practicing one or the other of the five world religions, namely, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Judaism.

What West Papuans have today, Frida Tabita Kelasin said, is contextual spirituality, a syncretic blend of indigenous belief and world religions. This syncretic faith rose from people’s deep involvement in indigenous people’s struggle to claim their heritage, an important aspect of which is the reclaiming of their ancestral lands and their relationship with Mother Nature. There are 253 ethnic groups in West Papua, she explained, and all of these tribes have the basic belief that nature is a gift from God and that people are stewards. Women in particular are regarded in traditional Papuan society as nurturers and protectors with a gift for maintaining harmonious relationship with nature. However, in West Papua today, this relationship has been destroyed and the women’s situation mirrors this disaster. Logging, mining and conversion of forest lands into plantations have polluted their rivers and poisoned their soil as Indonesian government continues their development policies that have removed indigenous peoples from their habitats and replace them with buildings and palm oil plantations. These created social problems such as prostitution, wife abuse, and the spread of AIDS/HIV. Removal from their lands also means loss of access to their traditional sources of food and medicines, thus the high incidence of hunger and malnutrition. Health in West Papua is a major concern. The Australia West Papua Association reports that West Papua has half of all the diagnosed cases of HIV/AIDS in Indonesia, at 20 times higher the rate of the rest of Indonesia, while malaria remains endemic, and cases of tuberculosis, including new drug resistant strains, are on the rise. Infant mortality rate is among the highest in the world, along with maternal mortality rate.

But unlike the Lumad struggle in Mindanao which of late has resorted to peace lobbying and civil society mobilization, there is in West Papua today a yet unquelled armed resistance. This movement seeks complete independence from the central government in Jakarta as ultimate expression of West Papuan political and cultural sovereignty. This conflict has its beginning since 1962 when indigenous Papuans first resisted annexation to Indonesian territory and has since claimed an estimated 100,000 lives.

“We can pray, but there are no ritualists among us, said Frida when Bae Magagaw of the Matigsalug tribe strongly suggested a joint ritual as among the future activities they should be holding to be conducted at an appointed hour of the day. Through this ritual, Bae Magagaw said, their joint prayers and supplication for protection from Manama (God) as they fight for their rights over ancestral lands will be better heard.

By ritual Bae Magagaw meant pamuhat, the slaughtering of a white chicken and making offerings of betel nuts, betel leaves and lime and other gifts to the spirits. The indigenous peoples of Mindanao and other parts of the country have been assiduously doing this since they embarked on a cultural regeneration project, and the Talaandigs and Matigsalugs of Bukidnon have been particularly tireless in ensuring that all activities that are conducted, including development activities and researches that have an import in their communities, are first and foremost sanctioned and blessed by Manama through this ritual.

The Mindanao women’s efforts towards reviving culture, the West Papuan visitors said, had been admirable, and it is a source of inspiration for them, because in Papua expressing ideas of indigenous identity has become a bad dream. Assertion of indigenous identity is suppressed and celebration of international day of indigenous peoples, as may be expressed in the raising of the West Papuan flag, invites political repression.

Bernadetha Mahuse, another member of the Working Group for Women in the People’s Assembly also explained that the situation in Papua is very different from the situation here in Mindanao. “Indigenous spirituality in Papua is a thing of the past,” she said. One proof to this is they themselves, women delegates. They are all indigenous Papuans, but they are now practicing one world religion or another. Bernadetha is a Catholic while Frida is a Prostestant. Their other companions, Atakiah Serfita, Martha Ollap, and Fientje Salomina Jarangga, are also Muslim, Catholic, and Protestant, respectively.

But even with the national ID system and the compulsory subscription to one major world religion or another, the West Papuans said, there is room for growth. And that’s what they are trying to do today, to make room for indigenous faith to live.
“Within the context of major religions we are now trying to situate and reflect our adat (customary law), so we have been trying to promote what we call contextual spirituality,” Frida said. The West Papuan delegates also explained that in Papua today there is a tendency for indigenous spirituality to be reduced to mere symbols. Because of the dominance of the world religions, indigenous knowledge and spirituality has been weakened. This situation is made worse by the presence of migrants who are either Christians or Muslims. Within this context indigenous spirituality becomes old and irrelevant.

Some Papuans are aware that they have lost something, Frida said. “That’s what we are trying to regenerate.” Organizations that are sensitized towards cultural regeneration are being established and the churches have been very instrumental in this work. The armed conflict is West Papua has something to do with this sense of loss, this sense of trauma and suffering that the West Papuan people suffered under Indonesian government.

“And when we say we want peace in Papua that means we want an end to this sense of persecution, this sense of injustice.”

Here's looking at you kiddo

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:22:00 +0000

Breastfeeding is Mother Right!

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:21:00 +0000

Breastfeeding is not an individual affair. Neither is the mother the lone hero, the paragon of virtue whose selfishness and self-sacrifice other women should emulate. Breastfeeding and baby care, and by extension care for children, at its best, is a communal affair

by Joefel Soco-Carreon

This is one personal story that I would love the whole world to know.

I am a full-time development worker. I have worked for NGOs for at least eight years now, mostly concerning children and young people. I was also lucky to get my education from a private academic institution which promotes learning beyond the four classroom walls, thus, I have become an activist for social change. My work as a child rights advocate had in a certain way prepared me for motherhood, one which I have since hoped will make a difference not only for the child that I will have, but also for the world I try to (re)create.

When I acquired a husband and became a wife, of course, I wanted to be a nanay. For five years all I wanted was a perfectly healthy baby and I was dead set to have a normal delivery and, of course, to breastfeed. After two ectopic pregnancies in 2007, my wish finally came true when my husband and I were blessed with a son, Juan Martin.

Maybe to some, pregnancy is a very private experience and a mother’s joy a very personal thing that can hardly be shared or understood by another being who “had never been a mother”. I admit that sometimes I felt that what I have or is going through is something I alone can know, but to my delight, I was actually welcomed into the world of mothers who I think perfectly understood what I was going through! And at times it seemed to me that I’m getting all the help I need!

Ria Tumlad, a classmate of mine in graduate school when I was studying and working and very pregnant all at the same time, lent me a copy of a Lamaze book. I was also enrolled in a maternity package in Brokenshire Hospital where I got enough childbirth preparation classes and where breastfeeding is one important part of the course. That’s where I came to know Alex Hao, the child birth instructor whose passion for breastfeeding galvanized my own resolve to breastfeed. She is a co-founder of mommysense, a loose network of breastfeeding advocates here in Davao. I also felt the support of my OB, Dr. Darleen Estuart, who is also an advocate and who heads the Brokenshire Woman Center. I learned that a persevering and committed full-time working nanay can still continue to breastfeed in many possible ways. She should just be informed that she can do so. This institutional support from a private health care provider made it encouraging for me to stick to what I had wanted to happen. So when Juan Martin came in October last year, we were jubilant! After giving birth at 3 am of October 3, 2009, I felt very tired and sleepy, yet my excitement made me welcome the baby into my arms. His first encounter with me outside the womb was through his taste of my right breast nipple, because after being wrapped with a clean cloth, he was thrust to my breast by the nurse.

But it was not an easy start. A few days after giving birth I found myself going through a state of unsettledness. Juan Martin was crying often because he could not get enough milk from me. I helped myself to a healthier food diet, especially soup with kamunggay or horse raddish. My sister-in-law, Marie Jean Palao, who also has a one-year old, took time to feed Juan Martin with her own breastmilk, while I was doing everything to produce enough milk. I am a proud mother, but at times life can be very humbling. There were times when I had to run to Alex to seek advice. My husband Paul is all-support and I am often touched at how much he tries. When it was time for me to go back to work, Paul bought a Kindercare breast pump. In the office I continued to express milk. I had to build my supply. Thankfully, my family is always there for me.

My goal to exclusively breastfeed Juan Martin in the first six months was put to serious test when I had a scheduled trip to Indonesia. My baby was five months at the time. Paul and I planned well ahead. There must be ample supply for the five days and four nights that I would be away. In our estimate, Juan Martin would feed 8 to 12 times a day, and would consume at least 3 oz of milk in each feeding. I was not able to store enough, so we tapped all the help we could get. I have two sisters, Joan Mae Soco and Anna Arangcon, who are also breastfeeding their babies of almost the same age as Juan Martin; there’s my sister-in-law Marie Jean and my husband’s cousin, Letty Diego. In all, there are four breastfeeding nanays in my immediate family circle. Enough, I must say, for us to beat an MNC peddling infant formula out of our way!

So what we did was we bought two extra Farlin breast pumps and breast milk bags. We gave the Kindercare pump I was using to Anna; one of the Farlin pumps to Joan, and the other one to Letty, who lent me her not-so-modern rubber breast pump to use during the travel. (I hope I am not inadvertently advertising for state-of-the-art breastpump brands after dishing skyhigh-costly infant formulas!) Few weeks before the trip, we had already requested Joan and Anna to store at least 2 oz a day. Letty started contributing when I was already away. She and Marie Jean also fed Juan Martin when Martin had enough of plastic nipples. While away, I took time to express milk. I had to ensure that my breasts would never cease producing milk. Besides, I could not bear the pain of enlarged full breasts especially at night. As I was draining milk into the bathroom sink, I thought of how many babies in Indonesia might be going hungry at that very instant and wondered if there are as many independent women who would demand for breastfeeding facilities as much as they would demand for sperm banks. I also realized how in a world full of malnourished children and canned milk giants, there are not many facilities for breastfeeding mothers. Even in international airports like Changi in Singapore there was none,and especially in Medan, Indonesia.

Nevertheless, we made it! Paul had four nights of inadequate sleep and had the time of his life going around collecting mother's milk. Good for him if he feels heroic about it, but the thing is, we tried it and went through the challenge enriched now with the knowledge that it can be done! Honestly though, my husband’s efforts were notable. He kept assuring me Juan Martin was doing okay with me away through text messages. (Sorry Sheilfs, but his love for Juan Martin has made me love him even more!) :-)

So what am I saying? Two things basically:

One, that breastfeeding is not an individual affair. Neither is the mother the lone hero, the paragon of virtue whose selfishness and self-sacrifice other women should emulate. Breastfeeding, and baby care and by extension care for children, at its best, is a communal affair, and not just a marital or family affair! I am lucky enough I have good compliant breasts with enough milk I could drain some into the sewers of Changi and Medan, and I am lucky enough I am a good woman good wife to earn all the support of my husband and my family. But how about those who have less resources than I?

And two, that in a world that makes so much of children’s rights to be born, more so of their right to survival and development, breastfeeding is not a throwback to primitivism. (In primitive communal societies, where women were supposed to hold dominion over men, high IMR are standard features. -ed). Every breastfeeding mother, especially when unsupported by a husband or by a five-digit salary, needs all the encouragement and support of those around her. In this time and height of commercialism where aggressive campaigns of multinational milk companies never fail at making us guilty for feeding our babies with the cheapest milk we can afford to buy from the store, campaigning for breastfeeding is much cheaper.

So I repeat, breastfeeding is not just some silly motherhood issue; to breastfeed is to make a political statement. It calls for more than just a personal conviction of one mother, but for the solidarity of all those who work for a better world for women and children.

(email the author at: joefel.soco@gmail.com)

Lenard is a Patient Man

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:20:00 +0000

“Lenard is a patient man.” Says Ayesha of her man, now among the camels of Saudi Arabia. “Better as father than husband to me.” She sounded grateful, and proud. Grateful to have been chosen by Lenard and proud to belong with Lenard. I asked Ayesha why we have this so much need for a patient man, is it because we always do wrong and are so lacking in so many qualities, or it’s because they always have right of way? She never talked to me again.

I am sad, being unhusbanded and now friendless. I prop myself up by keeping low my opinion of married women. But I think they have a much lower opinion of themselves: hushing themselves up, when they could be kicking up. Of Ayesha, I think she’s a bit like me: Resigned to loving the life that she has, having almost done with loving the man who loves her back.

Women and the EZLN

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:20:00 +0000

It seems that it is even more difficult to change the patriarchal traditions of the indigenous communities than to accustom the combatants of the EZLN to taking orders from women commanders.

The inclusion of women in the EZLN from its origins has been a struggle of its own. Major Ana María was one of the first women soldiers in the EZLN. She was 14 when joined the EZLN. At first there were only two women of the 8 or 10 people when they started the movement. Many entered the EZLN at a very young age, taking up arms in self-defense against the "guardias blancas". It can be said that women who joined the Zapatistas at such young ages also joined in self-defense against forced marriage or physical abuse.

Another woman, Isadora, was already determined to join the EZLN at age 13. She wanted to escape her community to become a Zapatista. She was motivated by the idea of freedom and the opportunity for education. However, because she was so young, she was returned to her family, as the Zapatistas did not want the communities to say they were snatching young girls from their cradles. Isidora eventually won permission from her community to join the Army in order to escape harsh beatings from her uncle. In many case, women and girls had to overcome obstacles simply in order to join the EZLN. Most joined without the permission of their families.

Manuel, a civilian member of the CCRI-CG, confirmed that it is a lot of work explaining the struggle of equality to the indigenous men of Chiapas. It seems that it is even more difficult to change the patriarchal traditions of the indigenous communities than to accustom the combatants of the EZLN to taking orders from women commanders. While the female combatants of the EZLN not only have the ability to become high ranking officials in the army, as well as social rights such as the right to choose a dance partner, to choose a sexual partner or to use contraceptives, many civilian women in Chiapas have not yet gained these rights. Subcomandante Marcos admits that the civilians are still practicing customs that "don’t belong even in a pre-revolutionary situation." Indigenous women are still forced into marriage, beaten by their husbands and denied education. However, in speaking for the compañeras, he also says that they will ensure their freedom, respect and dignity by fighting for it, by earning it, not by simply asking for it. "In the same way, the government can’t concede us our rights as Indigenous peoples; we have to fight for them. The women are also fighting for them, many times in very radical ways."

The women in the EZLN have gained respect from their male counterparts by learning how to fight and becoming soldiers and through these experiences, equality is beginning to permeate other aspects of life. For example, Marcos describes compañeros who are political revolutionaries, but who do not extend their revolutionary ideals into their personal lives and relationships with women. This is slowly changing as the women Zapatistas combat the sexist attitudes carried by most of the men in their midst. For example, many men within the EZLN had difficulties taking orders from female commanders, but have since learned that women can do work other than domestic chores.

(excerpted from here and there)

Novices for the Religious Order of Mary

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:17:00 +0000

Mabubuang na ako, I will go crazy, complains Mhang, OIC and stand-in nanny for the dykes in Jolo. Mherz's brother had Ridz beaten, she said, but now Ridz and Mherz are going like they are the best of friends again, and Rubina, that girl MM took for a slut is now a lesbian and is out to outlesbian MM.

"I can't handle this!!!"

How many times do I have to tell her to stop treating them like novices for the Religious Order of Mary those rascals were raised in Hell, there is no hope they will ever turn into angels or at least humans, best way is to keep the house burning and pray.

She giggles and starts enumerating changes she had monitored. “Oh did you know that Ridz now washes his clothes? And today he swept the floor, cleaned after the mess that the gang left behind.”

Parents she ran into at the footbridge would also thank her now, she said, because their kids are displaying symptoms of good behavior.

“And oh, Armand is sooo serious today! He went around making everybody fill out the forms, explaining office policies he was the first to break weeks back!”

Armand is our Mherz. We renamed him Armand or Mando, short for mandurupang, Tausug term for swindler, racketeer. A couple of weeks back we fielded him in Zamboanga City to process his passport that he may be able to attend an international conference of young feminists, and darn, how impressed we were. Among his exploits, he brought a report card with no school seal, refused to wear the tirong which her nanny wanted to tie around his neck upon entry at the Office of Muslim Affairs and made the nanny wear it herself, then thereafter, as a way of returning the favor, bought pork adobo for himself and nanny, which made her run to the bathroom sick. At the DFA he stood for hours upon hours and stood more through the insults thrown him by the DFA guy for showing a postal ID marked Jolo Post Office, then the day after, verbally sparred with the same guy, in crisp Tausug language the both of them happened to understand, while three security guys walked up and down the floor.

“He only wanted to get away and spend some days in Zamboanga, wanted to take advantage of the paid expense offered him,” Mhang would later relate to me. “He didn’t care really about international conferences and legal documents, never believed any of it until he realized people were not rolling in money and were not monkeying around.”

So one day at breakfast he went sentimental-like, thanking Mhang, thanking his stars. He never thought passports and legal papers will ever have anything to do with him, he said, but now he is getting them, all the papers that say he exists, legal citizen, with chances to get out of the country if he likes.

“Isn’t that something? Like you changed someone’s perspective?"

"Okay. Big strides in human progress. Congratulations!"

"But listen. He still wouldn’t admit he only got to Grade IV.”

“Huh?"

"He only admitted that to the DFA guy for our sake, he said, because that's what that scum there wanted to hear. But now back here in Jolo he behaves like he is going to beat anyone who calls him Grade IV. That's slander. Disrespect."

Pause.

"Okay. Then why don’t you believe him?"

“What? Are you nuts?!? Despite all the evidence?"
"What eveidence!?!"

Women in the military

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:11:00 +0000

Boy-Girl ang Gelpren ni Mommy

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:11:00 +0000

Magbubukas ang eksena sa sala. Makikita ang dalawang batang nakaupo sa harap ng telebisyon. Mukhang bagot ang mga mukha ng mga ito. Mahihiga nang patagilid sa sopa ang batang babae, yakap-yakap ang unan, at mayamaya’y uupo uli ito. Tatayo ang batang lalaki at maggagalugad ng kung ano-anong madampot sa sala.

Sa bandang kusina ay makikita ang kanilang ina na naghahanda ng hapunan. Mahahalata sa mukha at sa kilos nito ang saya, kaba, at pagkataranta. Kada dalawang minuto ay titingin sa dakong sala. Mahaba ang buhok nito na nakatali sa likod, naka-sleeveless at naka-shorts. Seksi.

Dadamputin ng batang lalaki ang bola at lalaro-laruin. Papansinin siya ng kapatid.

ABIGAIL: Huwag mong laruin iyan, hindi sa Mommy yan, no. Mapapagalitan ka, sige ka!
MIKHAIL: Naglalaro lang e. O, catch mo (Itatapon ang bola sa kapatid, tatama
ito sa likuran ng sopa at gugulong sa sahig. Walang dadampot nito.
Aabutin ni Mikhail ang nakasabit na badminton racket.) Tennis
na lang tayo.
ABIGAIL: Engot! Badminton iyan, no, hindi tennis.
MIKHAIL: (Lalaro-laruin mag-isa ang racket at shuttlecock.) Pareho lang iyon.
ABIGAIL: Hindi pareho, no. Ang layo, no. Ang tange talaga nito. (Iaakyat
nito ang mga paa sa sopa.) Laro ka nang laro diyan e, parang
wala kang problema. (Ipapatong ni Mikhail ang racket at
shuttlecock sa shoerack. Uupo sa tabi ng kapatid, manunuod uli ng
telebisyon.)
ABIGAIL: Palagay mo, mabait kaya siya?
MIKHAIL: (Kikibit-balikat.) Ewan.
ABIGAIL: (Yayakap sa unan na hawak.) Pa’no kung ayaw niya sa atin?
MIKHAIL: E di uwi tayo sa atin.

Magri-ring ang telepono, matitigilan sila pareho, saka mag-unahan sa pagdampot. Mauuna si Abigail.

ABIGAIL: Hello? (Mapapatda ang mukha.) Ah, o-opo. Si Mommy po? Teka
po, sandali lang po. (Magsisenyas ito sa kapatid, ituturo ang
picture frame sa ibabaw ng telebisyon, saka ang mouthpiece ng
telepono, bubulong) S- si ano!
MIKHAIL: (Aagawin ang telepono.) Hello, sino po sila? Ah… opo.
Tatawagin ko po. (Kay Abigail.) Tawagin mo na si Mommy,
daliii! (Sa telepono.) Sandali po, tinatawag na po.
(Itutulak ang kapatid.) Lakad na, tawagin mo na!
ABIGAIL: Ang daya naman e, ako pang inutusan. (Sisigaw.) Mommy! Telephone!!!
PIA: (Papasok ng sala na ipinapahid sa binti ang dalawang kamay.) Sino?
MIKHAIL AT
ABIGAIL: Si Jun.
MIKHAIL: Yung friend mo. (Iaabot sa ina ang telepono.)
PIA: Honey? (Magtitinginan ang magkapatid pagkarinig ng honey. Lalayo sila sa ina, hila-hila ang mga paa na mauaupo sa sopa, parang mga tuod na palihim makikinig.) Ganun ba? O sige. Ah, ganun ba? Huwag mong tagalan at gusto ka makilala ng mga anak ko. Maghapon natulog kahapon pero napagod at buong araw naman kami namasyal at nagshopping kanina… Haha. Okay. Okay. (Ibababa nito ang phone, masaya ang mukha.) Mali-late si June, mauna na raw tayong kumain at kausap pa niya ang coach nila. (Hahakbang ito pabalik sa kusina. Mapapansin ang racket na nakapatong sa shoerack, isusukbit ito sa dingding, saka tutungo sa kusina).
ABIGAIL: (Pabulong.) Narinig mo?
MIKHAIL: Ang laki ng boses. (Gagayahin ang narinig.) Hello, si Jun. Ikaw ba si Mikhail? Ang mommy n’yo puwedeng makausap?
ABIGAIL: Sabi ko sa iyo, girlfriend ni Mommy yun, e. Honey pa ang tawag, narinig mo?
MIKHAIL: (Tatayo, lalapit sa telebisyon, titingnan ang picture frame na nakapatong rito.) E, ano kung gelpren. Parang si Aisa Seguerra, girl ang gelpren.
ABIGAIL: Ay, tange. Siyempre no, pag girlfriend, e di, girl! Pag boy, e di, boyfriend!
MIKHAIL: (Dadamputin ang frame.) Maganda naman siya a.
ABIGAIL: (Kunyari may hawak na telepono, lalakihan at bababaan ang boses.) Hello, ikaw ba si Abigail? Si Jun to. Ang mommy mo puwedeng makausap? (Lalapit sa kapatid.) Tingnan mo, o. Nag-aakbayan pa sila.
MIKHAIL: E, ano.
ABIGAIL: E, pa’no kung asawahin na siya ni Mommy?
MIKHAIL: (Kikibit-balikat.) Maganda naman siya a. Parang girl, tingnan mo.
ABIGAIL: Parang boy! Pa’no maging girl, ang igsi ng buhok at mas matangkad pa kay Mommy! Si Mommy ang girl, no.
MIKHAIL: E, di boy-girl.
ABIGAIL: Anong boy-girl!?!
MIKHAIL: (Kikibit-balikat na ibabalik ang picture frame sa ibabaw ng TV set.) Bahala sila.
ABIGAIL: Anong bahala sila!
MIKHAIL: Bahala na. (Magdadampot ng photo album at bubuklatin.)
ABIGAIL: Anong bahala na!?! Ang ibig sabihin nu'n… (hihinaan ang boses)… tama si Papa. Masamang babae si Mommy!
MIKHAIL: (Kikibit-balikat.) Ganu’n naman ang matatanda e. Masasama.

Mapapamulagat si Mikhail, may makikita sa album. Tatalikod ito sa kapatid habang patuloy na binubuklat ang mga pahina ng album. Sisilipin ni Abigail ang tinitingnan ng kapatid. Iiiwas ito ni Mikhail at lalayo sa kapatid, saka uupo sa sahig patagilid sa sopa. Dadampot ng isa pang album si Abigail at mauupo ito sa sahig pasandal sa sopa. Kada dalawa o tatlong buklat ng album ay magbabago ang ekspresyon sa mga mukha nila: manlalaki ang mga mata, matatawa, mapapangiwi, madidismaya.

ABIGAIL: (Tatakpan ng dalawang kamay ang bunganga, saka ipapakita sa kapatid ang litrato sa album.) Tingnan mo ‘to.
MIKHAIL: (Tatango at ipapakita ang kanina’y itinatago na litrato sa kapatid.) Eto, tingnan mo.
ABIGAIL: (Paanas.) Sabi ko sa iyo tama si Papa, e!
MIKHAIL: Bahala na.
ABIGAIL: (Distressed ang mukha.) Pa’no iyan?
MIKHAIL: O, ayan pa o.
ABIGAIL: Eee, bastos. (Maiiyak ang mukha.) Masama siya? Masama ang Mommy natin?
MIKHAIL: Shhh. Huwag kang maingay. Hindi mo bahay ‘to!
ABIGAIL: Pa’no iyan? Pa’no na tayo?
MIKHAIL: Ikaw kasi, sabi ko du’n na tayo sa Mama Ella, ayaw mo, e.
ABIGAIL: E, galit na lagi si Mama Ella, ni ayaw na akong pansinin.
MIKHAIL: KSP ka kasi!
ABIGAIL: Si Papa kasi.
MIKHAIL: Shh. Marinig ka ng Mommy.
ABIGAIL: Pa’no hindi na siya inuuwian ni Papa!
MIKHAIL: Shh. Siyempre, no. Magkakabeybi na sila. E, si Mama Ella walang beybi.
ABIGAIL: Sabi niya itatransfer na tayo sa public school! Pa’no na iyan?
MIKHAIL: Di bale na. Basta du’n tayo sa kanya.
ABIGAIL: Ikaw lang. Ayaw ko na du’n! Masama siya!
MIKHAIL: E, masama din naman si Mommy. O ayan pa, o, tingnan mo.
ABIGAIL: Eeey...

Habang nag-aanasan ang dalawa, sa bahaging kusina ay makikitang patapos na sa pag-set ng mesa si Pia. Parang nasisiyahan na susulyap ito sa dakong sala. Magpupunas ito ng kamay sa handtowel na nakasabit sa pintuan ng ref, saka tutungo sa kuwarto, bubuksan ang ilaw, pupunta sa aparador at magpapalit ng kamiseta. Titingnan nito ang sarili sa salamin, dalidaling magsusuklay ng buhok, papatayin ang ilaw at babalik ng kusina. Ilalabas nito ang tubig at juice, saka maglalakad patawid sa entablado, patungong sala. Maririnig ng dalawa ang papalapit na mga yapak ng ina at kanilang isusuksok sa ilalim ng sopa ang hawak-hawak na mga album.

PIA: (Medyo magtataka pagkakita sa mga mukha ng dalawa) O, ano na naman nangyari? (Papatayin nito ang TV.) Akala ko nanunuod kayo. Come. Kain na.
MIKHAIL: Kakain na tayo, Mommy? (Tatayo.)
ABIGAIL: Kakain na tayo? (Tatayo.)
MIKHAIL: Ano ulam, Mommy?
PIA: E, di siyempre, yung mga pinamili n’yo.
MIKHAIL: May ice cream, Mommy?
ABIGAIL: Hindi ulam yun, dessert iyon.
MIKHAIL: Sinabi ko bang ulam yun?
ABIGAIL: (Didilaan nito ang kapatid, saka tatakbo pakusina at aakyat ng silya para titingnan ang mga nakahanda sa hapag.) Yehey! May spaghetti! May chocolate cake!
MIKHAIL: Yey! May Chicken Joy!
ABIGAIL: Hindi chicken joy iyan, no. Iyong chicken joy nandu’n sa Jolibee!
MIKHAIL: Heh! Yabang mo, lahat alam mo!
PIA: (Tutungo sa gripo.) O, hugas muna ng kamay. (Susunod ang dalawang bata, magpupunas ng kamay, saka isa-isang mauupo.)
ABIGAIL: (Mapapansin ang bakanteng upuan.) S-si… yung friend mo, hindi na natin siya hintayin?
PIA: (Uupo.) June, anak. June ang pangalan niya.
ABIGAIL: Ano’ng itatawag namin sa kanya?
PIA: E, di, June.
ABIGAIL: Jun pa rin? Di ba matanda siya ng ten to twelve years sa amin?
PIA: Matanda rin ako ng twelve years sa kanya, at Pia ang tawag niya sa akin.
MIKHAIL: Hindi Tita Pia? (Magtatawanan sila.)
ABIGAIL: Hindi Honey?
PIA: (Mangingiti na magba-blush.) Kung minsan.
MIKHAIL: Uyts.
ABIGAIL: Dito na siya titira sa… hanggan sa hanggan, Mommy?
PIA: Ha? Ano’ng ditto titira at ano’ng hanggan sa hanggan? (Aabutan ng pagkain ang dalawa.)
ABIGAIL: Hanggang pag-alis namin?
PIA: May bahay siya, ano. Paminsan-minsan lang nagbu-board dito, pag minumura ng tatay niya.
ABIGAIL: Marami siyang bahay?
MIKHAIL: Bakit may pasok pa siya, Mommy?
PIA: May summer class nga, e. Di ba sabi ko senyo kahapon nag-take siya ng summer classes para gumradweyt agad ng college?
MIKHAIL: Hanggang gabi ang summer class?
PIA: Hindi naman, kaya lang nagdi-gym siya araw-araw.
ABIGAIL: Nagwu-workout siya?
PIA: May praktis sila. Para sa summer sports fest.
ABIGAIL: (May maalala.) Magpi-pray tayo, Mommy?
PIA: (Matitigil sa pag-abot ng pagkain.) Sure, if you want (Magkukurus at yuyuko.)
ABIGAIL: (Pabulong.) Sureifyouwant. (Yuyuko.)
MIKHAIL: Ako magli-lead.
PIA: Sure, go ahead.
ABIGAIL: (Pabulong.) Suregoahead. (Nakapikit.)
MIKHAIL: Bless us oh lord…for thy thy gifts…
ABIGAIL: (Ididilat ang mata.) And these thy gifts! Ayan ka na naman.
MIKHAIL: And we are to receive amen. (Magkukurus.)
ABIGAIL: That we are about to receive from thy bounty! (Magkukurus.)
PIA: (Itataas ang kamay.) It’s okay, it’s okay. (Magkukurus.)
ABIGAIL: Through Christ our lord amen! Our Father pa nga e. Ang daya talaga nito.
MIKHAIL: E, kaya ayaw ko ikaw mag-lead, e, ang tagal! Payabang ka lagi! Palibhasa memorize mo lahat ng prayer sa iskul. (Sasahurin ng plato ang sinasandok na spaghetti ng ina.) Peboreyt ko Mommy, spaghetti at hamburger.
ABIGAIL: Mommy, ba’t walang Coke?
PIA: (Maiiling na matatawa.) Ayaw nyo ng juice? Dapat yata kayo ni June magsama e, pareho kayong mga junkie. (Sisidlan ng juice ang mga baso.)
ABIGAIL: Gusto niya kami kasama?
PIA: Oo naman.
MIKHAIL: Anong junkie?
ABIGAIL: Adik.
PIA: Iyong mahilig kumain ng junk food, iyong du’n lagi nanananghalian sa Jolibee at MacDo.
ABIGAIL: Isinasama mo siya lagi sa Jolibee at MacDo, Mommy?
PIA: Kung minsan pumupunta kami, pag tinatamad magluto. Madalas punta siya mag-isa o kasama’ng mga klasmeyt niya. O kapatid niya. Ayaw ko ng junk food e.
ABIGAIL: Mga boys classmates niya? (Sasandukin ng tinidor ang spaghetti sa plato.)
PIA: (Akmang susubo.) Siyempre boys at girls.
MIKHAIL: (May matatapon na spaghetti sa plato ni Abigail, titinidurin ito ni Mikhail at isusubo.) Sa private school siya, Mommy?
ABIGAIL: Akin iyon e.
PIA: (Isusubo kay Abigail ang spaghetting nasa tinidor niya.) Oo.
ABIGAIL: Ikaw nagpapaaral sa kanya, Mommy?
PIA: Hindi, no. Ano sila sinusuwerte? Pero madalas sa hindi kinukutungan ako. Parang kayo. Andaming utang sa akin.
MIKHAIL: Minsan lang nga, e. Kasi madalas, sabi mo wala kang pera.
ABIGAIL: Kami ililipat na ng Papa sa public school.
MIKHAIL: Mabait ang parents niya, Mommy?
PIA: Sa kanya. Pero sa akin, hindi.
MIKHAIL: Bakit?
PIA: Ewan. Siguro me crush sa akin tatay niya.
MIKHAIL: Ha?
ABIGAIL: Kami maraming parents. Maraming Mommy.
MIKHAIL: (Palihim na tatadyakan sa paa ang kapatid.) Bakit Jun ang name niya, Mommy? Iyong kaklase ko si Jun din.
ABIGAIL: Yung klasmeyt ni Kuya, Mommy, Jun din ang pangalan. Boy siya.
PIA: Joan ang pangalan na bigay ng parents niya. June ang pangalan na binyag ng barkada niya.
ABIGAIL: Bakit?
PIA: Mga tomboy mga barkada niya sa hayskul, e, di siyempre gusto nilang mga pangalan panglalaki o kaya at least iyong androgynous.
ABIGAIL: Anong adro…geous?
PIA: Iyong puwedeng panlalaki, puwedeng pambabae.
ABIGAIL AT Panlalaki iyong Jun e! Hindi androgeous!
MIKHAIL: Pang-boy iyong Jun, e.
PIA: Iyong Jun na Junior panlalaki iyon. Iyong June na may E sa dulo, androgynous iyon, pambabae at panlalaki. O kain pa. (Aabutan ng fried chicken ang dalawa.)
ABIGAIL: Matalino siya, Mommy?
MIKHAIL: (Ituturo ng tinidor ang kapatid, proud na proud, madungis na sa spaghetti ang baba nito.) Si Abigail Mommy, matalino sa klase. Very Good hanggang Outstanding lagi ang grade.
ABIGAIL: Si Kuya, Mommy, Average. Outstanding din si… siya, Mommy?
PIA: Average hanggang Above Average. Tamad mag-aral, e. Outstanding sa basketball at volleyball. Bola ang inaasikaso e.
MIKHAIL: Mommy, ano ibig sabihin nu'ng general average?
ABIGAIL: Ang general average ni Kuya, Mommy, 81. Akin 93.
PIA: Iyong sum ng lahat ng grado mo sa lahat ng subjects mo, divided by bilang ng lahat ng subjects mo, iyon ang general average mo.
ABIGAIL: Di ba sabi mo 20 na siya?
MIKHAIL: Iyong sum ng lahat…ko… dibay-dibay ng…
PIA: Mamaya bago tayo matulog ituro ko sa iyo, bigyan kita examples.
ABIGAIL: Divided by, hindi divaydivay! Mommy ilang taon na si… siya?
PIA: 20 going on 21.
ABIGAIL: Kasintanda sila ni Mommy Chona?
PIA: Sino si Mommy Chona?
MIKHAIL: (Sisikuhin ang kapatid, magtatakip naman ng bibig si Abigail.) Wala. Walang lang.
ABIGAIL: Friend ng Papa.
MIKHAIL: Maganda siya, Mommy.
ABIGAIL: Mommy, repeater siya? Di ba dapat ang Freshmen 17 lang? Tulad ni Kuya Kitkit, di ba ‘no, 17-years old si Kuya Kitkit? (Sisikuhin ito uli ni Mikhail.) Ay…
PIA: Sinong Kitkit?
ABIGAIL: Wala po. Wala lang.
MIKHAIL: Kapatid ni Mommy Chona. F siya, Mommy?
PIA: Repeater at nagdrop-out. Barkada ang inasikaso dati. Buti nga ngayon sumipag-sipag na. Noon laging nasa kalsada.
MIKHAIL: Nagda-drugs siya, Mommy?
PIA: Hindi naman. Pero layas nang layas sa parents niya. Three years siyang in and out sa high school. Drop out nang drop out. Tapos maraming binalikang subjects.
MIKHAIL AT Saan kayo nagkakilala?
ABIGAIL: Saan kayo nagmeet?
PIA: E, di sa kalsada.
ABIGAIL AT Ngii.
MIKHAIL: Uyts.
ABIGAIL: Pambihira ka, Mommy. Sabi ng Papa…
MIKHAIL: (Tatadyakan ang kapatid.) Nasalubong mo siya?
PIA: Sinalubong ako (matatawa), binangga ako. (Iinom ng juice.)
MIKHAIL: Wah! Sa daan? Inisnats ka?
ABIGAIL: Ay, tange, hihihi.
PIA: (Matatawa.) Hindi, no. Iyong bike ko. Binangga ng bike niya.
MIKHAIL AT
ABIGAIL: Ganun?
PIA: Oo. Me crush sa akin e. Wala nang ginawa kundi abangan ako sa kalsada.
MIKHAIL: Uyts.
ABIGAIL: (Indignant.) Tapos ginelpren mo na siya!?! (Tatadyakan nang malakas ni
Mikhail.) Aray!
PIA: (Tatawa.) Hindi naman. Siyempre, naging friends muna kami. Tapos nag-errand boy muna siya.
ABIGAIL AT
MIKHAIL: Anong eranboy?
PIA: Iyong tagabitbit ng shopping bag. Hardinero, mekaniko ng bisekleta, lahat na.
ABIGAIL: E… kelan kayo mag-asawa? (Itataas ang mga paa para hindi matadyakan uli.)
PIA: Mag-aasawa?
MIKHAIL AT
ABIGAIL: Oo. Kelan.
PIA: Teka, sinong me sabi na mag-aasawa ako?
MIKHAIL AT
ABIGAIL: Si Papa.
MIKHAIL: Sabi niya, tiyak, nakahanap ka na raw ng iba, ikaw pa.
PIA: Haha. Buti alam niya.
ABIGAIL: Pero hindi niya sinabi na girl ang aasawahin mo. (Iiiwas ang ulo sa kapatid dahil akmang sasapukin siya nito.)
MIKHAIL: (Paanas.) Hindi niya rin alam, no.
PIA: (Maiiling.) Actually, mas magkaibigan kami kaysa sa mag-asawa o magsyota. Kahit ngayon.

ABIGAIL AT
MIKHAIL: Kahit ngayon?
PIA: Lalo na ngayon.
ABIGAIL: Ba’t kayo nagli-live-in? Aray! Mommy, si Kuya o, nananadyak.
PIA: Huwag mananandyak.
MIKHAIL: Kung anu-anong itinatanong, e.
ABIGAIL: Ba’t siya nagbu-board dito? I mean, bakit siya nakatira sa kuwarto mo?
MIKHAIL: Ang bunganga mo!
PIA: It’s alright, it’s alright. It’s about time we know each other.
ABIGAIL: It’s alright it’s alright we know about each other.
PIA: (Slightly indignant.) Kanina ka pa. Ba’t mo inuulit-ulit ang sinasabi ko?
MIKHAIL: Best in English siya, Mommy! Bawal sa classroom mag-Tagalog, no, me multa pag mahuli ni Ma’am!
PIA: (Relieved.) I see.
MIKHAIL AT
ABIGAIL: I see.
ABIGAIL: E, ba’t kayo nagli… ba’t siya dito nakatira?
PIA: We like each other! We’re friends! Can’t two people who love each other be together?
MIKHAIL: Can we together?
ABIGAIL: (Brokenhearted.) Sabi mo sa akin nu'n friends lang kayo.
PIA: Ha? Ah oo, we’re friends. Sabi ko, we’re friends. We like each other…
MIKHAIL: We friends like each other.
ABIGAIL: Mahal mo siya!
PIA: Of course!
MIKHAIL: Of course!
ABIGAIL: (Mapapalakas ang boses na mukhang maiiyak.) Sabi mo sa akin sa phone friend mo lang siya! Hindi syota!
PIA: (Marahan na ngumunguya.) Did I say that?
MIKHAIL: Did say that?
ABIGAIL: (Tumigil na sa pagkain.) Sabi mo kaibigan mo lang siya! Kasama lang sa bahay!
PIA: No-no. Hindi ganun ang pagkasabi ko.
MIKHAIL: Nono.
ABIGAIL: Tamo? Nakalimutan mo na! Sabi mo may kasama ka--
PIA: Wait, wait. Ang sabi ko, may kasama ako na friend, close--
ABIGAIL: Iyon na nga! Sabi mo close friend mo lang siya!
MIKHAIL: Wetwet…
ABIGAIL
AT PIA: (Babaling kay Mikhail): Tumigil ka nga!
PIA AT Nag-uusap kami!
ABIGAIL: Kanina ka pa!
MIKHAIL: Sabi mo mag-aral ako ng inglis dahil maraming alam na inglis si Mommy.
ABIGAIL: (Babaling sa ina.) Hindi mo sinabi na syota mo siya! Na aasawahin mo siya!
PIA: Walang akong sinabing aasawahin ko siya, uy. O ang tatay niya. O sino pa man diyan.
ABIGAIL: Asawa mo na siya, e. Kitang-kita kayo, e.
PIA: Anong kitang-kita, e, ngayon pa kayo magkikitang tatlo, di ba?
ABIGAIL: Nakita namin, Mommy!
MIKHAIL: (Pabulong, nanunudyo ang hitsura.) Alam na namin, Mommy! (Tatayo sa silya, ituturo ang tubig.)
PIA: (Iaabot ang tubig.) Teka, sandali. Anong alam nyo na?
ABIGAIL: Huwag ka nang magkaila!
MIKHAIL: Huwag ka na magsinungaling, Mommy. Masama iyan!
PIA: Teka, pinagtutulungan nyo yata ako. Anong kitang-kita pinagsasabi nyo?
MIKHAIL: Kitang-kita ang ebidensiya, Mommy!

Bababa ng silya at tatakbo sa sala si Mikhail, mangangahulog ang tinidor sa sahig. Babalik ito na hakot-hakot ang photo albums. Mapapaangat ng kilay na mapapahilig ang mukha ni Pia.

MIKHAIL: (Bubuklatin ang dalawang photo albums, iuurong ni Pia ang mga plato at mga baso para mabigyan ng sapat na ispasyo ang anak na mailatag ang kanyang ebidensiya.) Ayan, o.
ABIGAIL: (Tumutulo ang luha.) Naghahalikan pa kayo!
MIKHAIL: Sa lips pa!
PIA: (Magba-blush na susulyapan ang mga pictures, maiiling, saka magkakamot ng tenga na titingin sa mga mukha ng dalawang bata.) Sabi ko na kasi. Ang lilikot nyo kasi, uunahan nyo pa ko, kung bakit kasi hindi makahintay na ibrief kayo muna bago nyo halughugin ang bahay ko, e.
MIKHAIL: Anong ibrief.
ABIGAIL: (Luhaan.) I-prepare.
MIKHAIL: Ihanda?
ABIGAIL: Tsek. (Babaling sa ina, itutulak ang nakabukas na album sa ina.) Naghahalikan pa kayo!
MIKHAIL: (Tatayo sa mesa at aabutin ang juice.) Huling-huli ka, Mommy! Ba’t walang Coke, sana may Coke.
PIA: (Tutungo sa ref, magbubukas ng bote ng Coke.) Anong huling-huli, ayusin nyo nga lenggwahe nyo.
MIKHAIL: Yey may Coke! (Magta-thumbs up.) Ayos ka talaga, Mommy!
ABIGAIL: Hindi mo sinabi na nag-asawa ka na!
MIKHAIL: (Lalagok ng Coke, magpupunas ng baba gamit ang kuwelyo ng T-shirt, aabutan ng table napkin ni Pia.) Wag ka na magkaila, Mommy, huling-huli ka! (Pupunasan ang baba ng table napkin.)
PIA: Anong huling-huli, para naman kayong pulis, hindi naman kami nagtatago, no, walang kaming krimeng ginagawa.
MIKHAIL: (Aabutin ang tinidor ng ina, dadampot ng slice ng cake.) Yun na nga! Dapat nagtago kayo! Mommy, may ice cream?
ABIGAIL: Niloko mo ko! Huhu! May gelpren ka na! Babae pa!
MIKHAIL: Eto naman, ang OA, paiyak-iyak pa. (Babaling sa ina.) Nakakahiya ka, Mommy.
ABIGAIL: Girl pa!
MIKHAIL: Boy-girl!
PIA: (Pulang-pula ang mukha.) Haha. Tumigil nga kayo.
ABIGAIL: Waah, asawa mo siya, e. Ka-live in mo na siya, e. Part-time pa! Wah, tatawa ka pa!
PIA: E, anong gagawin ko, iiyak?!? Naiiyak na nga ako, e. Hahahaha!
MIKHAIL: Mommy, gusto ko ng ice cream.
ABIGAIL: Kung hindi mo siya asawa, ano mo siya!?!
MIKHAIL: Asa-asawa.
PIA: Ano?… (Mapapahagikhik.)
ABIGAIL: (Maiiyak nang totohanan.) Waaaaah!
PIA: Ang sasama ninyong mga bata. (Pupunasan ng napkin ang mga luha ni Abigail, tutungo sa ref at ilalabas ang ice cream.)
MIKHAIL: Kabet mo siya, Mommy. Yey! Ay, ba’t mango flavor?
PIA: (Mapapanganga.) H-hoy…
ABIGAIL: (Babaling kay Mikhail.) Hindi naman… si Papa naman ang me kab…(Tatakpan ni Mikahil ang bunganga nito, matatapon ang kutsara ng ice cream na hawak nito.)
ABIGAIL: (Tatapihin ang kamay ng kapatid at pupunasan ng manggas ng t-shirt ang mukhang nabahiran ng ice cream.): E, wala naman siyang asawa, pa’no niya maging kabet siya, engot ka talaga.
MIKHAIL: Ikaw ang engot. E, hindi niya raw asawa, e, ano niya? Di, kabet!
PIA: (Mamumutla.) Aba, hoy…
ABIGAIL: E, pareho silang girl? Di ba lalaki lang ang me kabet?
MIKHAIL: Pag hindi mo asawa, tapos nagsasama kayo, kabet mo! Palibhasa hanggang inglis lang ang alam mo!
ABIGAIL: E, wala nga siyang asawa kasi divorced na sila ni Papa! Di ba, Mommy, ang puwede lang magkabet iyong me asawa?
PIA: (Naaasar na.) Ewan ko senyo. Ano ba naman klaseng usapan ‘to.
MIKHAIL: Mommy, ba’t mo iniwanan si Papa?
PIA: (Bubuntung-hininga.) Heto na naman tayo. Di ba matagal ko nang inekspleyn sa inyo? Na hindi ako ang nang-iwan sa Papa n'yo?
MIKHAIL: Sabi niya, bad ka raw na babae. Hindi ka sumama sa kanya. Iniwanan mo kami.
PIA: (Magpapanting ang tenga.) Hindi nga ako ang nang-iwan e! Di ba sinabi ko na sa inyo nu'n? Na tinangay kayo ng Papa ninyo sa Maynila nang hindi ako kasama, dahil natanggap siya ng malaking kompanya du'n at gusto niya, iwanan ko ang trabaho ko rito sa Mindanao at pag-aaral ko para sumunod sa kanya?!?
MIKHAIL: Iyon na nga! Iniwan mo kami!
PIA: Ako ang iniwan n'yong mag-ama!!! (Ihahampas ang palad sa mesa. Masa-shock ang dalawang bata.)
PIA: (Hahagulgol.) Ako ang iniwan nyo! Nagsamasama kayong tatlo! Kayo ang umalis nang hindi ako kasama!

Habang nangyayari ang ganitong eksena sa kusina makikita sa kaliwang bahagi ng entablado na dumarating si June. Ipaparada nito ang bisekleta sa tabi ng bike na nakasandal sa dakong hagdan. Nag-aalanganin itong umakyat, parang kinakabahan na kakamot-kamot ang batok at dibdib. Mayamaya’y aakyat ng hagdan, kunwari’y sususian at itutulak ang pinto at sasarhan uli. Maingat itong hahakbang papasok ng sala. Magtatanggal ito ng sapatos at medyas, makikita ang bolang nakakalat sa sahig, dadamputin ito at ipapatong sa shoerack, kinakamot ang ilong na parang di alam kung papasok muna sa kuwarto o dadaan muna sa kusina. Mapapahinto ito ng hakbang pagkarinig ng iyakan. Dahan-dahan itong hahakbang papuntang kusina, hihinto sa likod ng kurtina, makikiramdam.

MIKHAIL: (Hahawakan sa balikat ang ina.) Mommy, namiss mo kami? Nu'ng iwanan mo kami? (Biglang pihit ng ulo ni Pia, akma siyang sisigawan.) Ay… nu'ng iwanan ka namin?
PIA: Itatanong nyo pa! (Hahagulgol uli.)
MIKHAIL: Sabi ng Papa, hindi ka sumunod.
ABIGAIL: Sabi niya, naatim mong humiwalay sa amin dahil iyon pala…
PIA: (Galit na iaangat ang mukha.) May trabaho at nag-aaral nga ako rito, on scholarship, no. Pag iniwanan ko iyon, e di, baka hindi na ako nakapagtapos, nawalan pa ako ng trabaho!
ABIGAIL: (Tatango-tango.) Pero Mommy, ipinagpalit mo siya sa iba?
PIA: Hindi. Kaibigan ko lang iyong akala niya boypren ko! Ayaw niya akong kausapin, tapos ayaw niya kayong ipakausap sa akin! (Mapupunit ang mukha sa sama ng loob.) Huhuhu! Ginamit niya kayong hostage para gagapang ako pabalik sa kanya!
MIKHAIL: (Tatanggalin ang kamay sa balikat ng ina.) Hinostage kami, Mommy?
PIA: Ginamit niya kayo! Kasi kung siya lang, alam niya na wala akong hahabulin sa kanya! Kaya lang naman ako nagpakasal agad nu'n dahil buntis ako sa iyo! (Ituturo si Mikhail, mapapangiwi na magugulat ang dalawa.) Pero kung siya lang, kayang-kaya ko siyang hiwalayan kahit nu'n pa! Alam niya iyon! Pero kayo, alam niya na hindi ko maatim iwanan! Kaya kinidnap niya kayo! (Shocked na shocked ang dalawang bata habang nag-ngangalngal ang ina. Sa likod ng kurtina nakanganga rin sa gulat si June.)
MIKHAIL: (Pag medyo kumalma na ang ina.) Mommy, ano iyong analment?
ABIGAIL: Ipawalang-bisa nga! Iyong kasal ipapa-analment. Para divorce na kayo! Para makapag-asawa ka ng iba! Ang hirap mo talagang ekspleynan!
MIKHAIL: Sabi ng Papa ang mahal daw ng bayad niya sa iyo sa pag-analment mo.
ABIGAIL: Oo, sayang lang daw pera niya.
PIA: (Manlalaki ang mga mata.) Sinabi niya iyon?!?
MIKHAIL AT
ABIGAIL: (Sabay na tatango.) Oo.
ABIGAIL: Tapos, sabi pa niya, hindi ka man lang daw nagpakadisente. Nagboyfriend ka raw ng pari.
PIA: Anak ng… e, siya ‘tong gusto ng annulment e at gustong pakasalan ang Mama Ella ninyo!
MIKHAIL: Mommy, totoo na nagboypren ka ng pari?
PIA: Hindi nga sabi, e! Kaibigan ko nga lang iyon, e! Paghiwalay namin
ayaw ko na ng lalaki, no, peks man! (Matatapi ng nagpuprotestang kamay nito ang baso, matutumba at mabubuhos ang tubig, sasaluhin ito bago mahulog sa sahig, saka tatayo para kumuha ng pamunas sa mesa.
ABIGAIL: Pero hindi mo pa sinasagot tanong ko, e. Sabi ko, di ba dapat me asawa ka muna bago ka me kabet?
MIKHAIL: E, analment na nga sila! Engot ka talaga. E, sila ng friend niya, nagsasama walang kasal, e di, kabet!
PIA: (Muntik na gawing pantakip ng bibig ang pamunas sa mesa.) Diosmio…
ABIGAIL: Ang me kabet si Papa! Kasi me asawa na siya, me iba pang ibinabahay! (Babaling sa ina.) Inanakan pa niya, Mom—aray!

Magsasagutan na hindi na magkarinigan ang dalawang bata. Napupundi na pupunasan ni Pia ang basa na kumalat sa mesa, galit na pinagbubuhat ang mga plato at baso at halos ipanghagis sa lababo.

MIKHAIL: Tsismosa ka talaga!
ABIGAIL: E, ba’t ka nangungurot, ang sakit e.
MIKHAIL: Sinabi na ngang huwag sabihin sa Mommy, e. Isusumbong kita sa Papa.
ABIGAIL: Aray sabi! Mommy, o, si Kuya.
MIKHAIL: Isusumbong kita sa Papa, tsismosa ka!
ABIGAIL: Sipsip ka naman sa Papa kahit kelan e!
MIKHAIL: Ikaw sipsip sa Mommy!
ABIGAIL: (Babaling sa ina.) Mommy isusumbong ka ni Mikhail sa Papa.
MIKHAIL: E, ang Papa ba’t mo sinusumbong sa Mommy!
ABIGAIL: Sasabihin niya sa Papa ipinagpalit mo na siya sa iba, sa girl pa! Tapos pinapatira mo na siya sa bahay mo, binibigyan mo pa ng alawans! Tapos ako malilipat sa public school…waaah! (Kukurutin uli ni Mikhail.) Aray! Aray!

Matitigil ang away ng dalawang bata. Mapapansing nakatayo sa pintuan ng kusina si June, nakanganga na pinapanuod sila. Shocked na titingnan din nila ito. Mag-aangat ng mukha na mukhang nakahinga saglit si Pia. Lalapitan niya si June, dala-dala ang basang basahan.

PIA: (Pagod ang boses.) Ba’t di ka nagtext na parating ka na. (Magdadampian sila ng pisngi, tatapik-tapikin ni June sa balikat si Pia, papahiran ng daliri ang natutuyong luha sa mukha nito. Masa-shock ng for the nth time ang dalawang bata. Ibabaling ni Pia ang mukha sa mga bata. Parang galit na masama ang loob pa rin ang hitsura.) Mga anak ko, si Mikhail at si Abigail. Si June.
JUNE: (Ngingitian sila ng mapasyaw, saka ikakaway ang mga daliri.) Hi. (Hindi makakasagot ang dalawang bata. Kunyari ay magpupunas ng luha at sipon si Abigail, gamit ang kamay. Magpupunas naman ng baba si Mikhail gamit ang leeg ng T-shirt. Parang matatauhan na magpupunas din ng pisngi si Pia, gamit ang table napkin. Magkakamot ng batok na mangingiti si June.) Ligo muna ako, ang dungis ko e. Masyadong maalikabok sa kalsada, muntik pang binangga ng dyipni ang bike ko. (Tatapikin uli nito sa balikat si Pia, saka papasok sa pinto papuntang silid. Natitigilang sundan siya ng tingin ng dalawang bata.)

ABIGAIL AT
MIKHAIL: (Sabay na magtinginan at magbulungan) Ang ganda! (Bubuntung-hininga si Pia. Saka ipapatong sa lababo ang hawak na basahan. Maghuhugas ito ng kamay at iiling-iling na parang pilit ibinabalik ang hinahon.)

Habang napapatanga ang magkapatid, papasok si June sa silid nila ni Pia, bubuksan nito ang ilaw. Nakatungo ang ulo na iikot-ikot ito sa harap ng higaan, naruruong matatawa, naruong mangingiti, naruong kakamutin ng daliri ang ilong, naruong hihilot-hilutin ang ulo at nuo. Mayamaya’y haharap sa salamin, nakapamewang. Maghuhubad ito ng pantalon, itatapon sa laundry basket sa tabi, saka tutungo sa aparador, kukuha ng tuwalya at brief. Pagkuway uupo sa bed, mag-iisip.

MIKHAIL: (Babalingan ang kapatid pagkapasok ni June sa kuwarto.): Ayan. Di, narinig ka. Tsismosa ka kasi! (Kukurutin ang kapatid.)
ABIGAIL: Aray!
PIA: (Bubuntung-hininga uli. Aakbayan ang dalawang bata, papahiran ang sipon at luha ni Abigail, bibigyan ng table napkin si Mikhail.) Tingnan n'yo nga mga hitsura nyo. Sasabihin ni June hindi kayo nagmana sa akin, ang papangit n'yo na, ang sasama pa ng mga baba nyo.
ABIGAIL: (Ngangalngal na titingnan ang pasa sa braso.) Ang sakit-sakit, e.
MIKHAIL: (Palundag na bababa ng silya at pupunta sa lababo): Tsismosa mo kasi!!!
ABIGAIL: Mangungurot! (Susundan si Mikhail, akmang hahampasin si Mikhail. Aktong magsasapukan at magkukurutan sila sa harap ng lababo.)
PIA: (Mauubusan na ng pasensiya.): You two! (Mapapaigtad in attention ang dalawa, malaki ang galang sa wikang ingles kasi. Mamemewang si Pia na parang si Ma’am.) You listen! (Matatahimik ang dalawang bata. Matatahimik din saglit si Pia, saka mapansin ang dungis sa mga mukha ng dalawa. Ituturo nito ang handtowel sa pintuan ng ref.) You wash your mouths and wipe your hands and sit down. (Tatalima ang dalawa.)
That young woman there, na pinagtitsismisan ninyo sa harap ko, at sa harap niya, ay hindi ko kabet o asawa-asawa ha, naiintindihan nyo ba? That young woman there… June! Her name is June! Hindi siya si Siya-siya! Okay? She is someone I love and respect! Kaya igalang n'yo siya konti, ha, at igalang n'yo ko konti, ha. Dahil hindi ako papayag na ganu'n nyo siya itsinitsismis at tratuhin, ha!
ABIGAIL: (Hahagulgol.) Mahal mo nga siya! Pinagtatanggol mo pa siya!
MIKHAIL: Mommy, respect ko naman siya! Ang ganda nga niya, Mommy! (Sisikuhin ang kapatid.)
ABIGAIL: Mahal mo siya, Mommy! Sabi ko na e! Waaaah…
MIKHAIL: Uyts, Mommy.
ABIGAIL: Waah! Mahal mo siya!!!
PIA: (Malilito na mapapanganga.) T-talagang mahal ko siya.
ABIGAIL: Papabayaan mo na kami! Tama si Papa!
MIKHAIL: Asawa mo nga siya, ayaw mo pang aminin. Aminin mo na!
PIA: (Bubuntung-hininga nang pagkalalimlalim): Ang ibig kong sabihin, hindi ko siya asa-asawa na tulad ng iba diyan!
MIKHAIL: Tulad ng Papa at Mama Ella?
PIA: I didn’t mention names!
ABIGAIL: Hindi niya asa-asawa lang ang Mama Ella, no. Kasal sila! Kayo ng June mo hindi! Waah!
PIA: Alam ko! Hindi iyon ang ibig kong sabihin!
MIKHAIL: Eee, hindi na niya asawa si Mama Ella! Mag-anal na rin sila kasi may bago na siyang asawa, no.
ABIGAIL: Kawawa si Mama Ella, Mommy, pinapaiyak lagi. Tapos, may bago siyang beybi sa bago niyang asawa, Mommy! Aray!
MIKHAIL: Ako na sabi magsabi, e. Mali-mali ka e. Hindi pa nakalabas ng tiyan, e, beybi na. Next month pa sila manganganak, Mommy!
ABIGAIL: Baby na rin iyon! Dahil next month na! Kaya kami ililipat ng public school, Mommy, kasi may bago na siyang baby! Aray!
MIKHAIL: Ang tsismosa mo, masiyado mong sinisiraan si Papa, hindi pa naman final iyon!
PIA: Mikhail, kanina ka pa. Tamo’t lamog na iyang kapatid mo sa kakukurot mo.
ABIGAIL: Mangungurot iyan, Mommy. Bakla yata e.
MIKHAIL: (Aktong manununtok.) Kesa naman suntukin kita!
ABIGAIL: (Palundag na lalayo sa kapatid.) Mangungurot iyan, Mommy. (May tawa sa mata na parang nanghahamon.)
MIKHAIL: Susuntukin kita!
ABIGAIL: (Mag-aarimunding ang mga daliri.) Syokla! (Maghahabulan sila paikot sa mesa at kusina) Syokla!
MIKHAIL: (Magdi-dirty-finger sa kapatid, mapapahindig si Pia.) Tomboy!
ABIGAIL: (Nakatawa ang luhaang mukha): Syokla!
PIA: TIGIL NA IYAN!!! (Mauuga ang mesa sa hampas ng dalawang kamay nito.)

Sa kinauupuan niya ay mapapatayo si June sa marinig na kalampagan sa kusina. Patakbong lalabas ito ng kuwarto nang nakakamiseta lang, bitbit ang tuwalya at brief.

ABIGAIL: (Pabulong.) Syokla!
MIKHAIL: (Pabulong.) Tomboy! (Akmang magdi-dirty finger uli, binawi ang kamay kasi nakikitang nakatitig ang ina.)
ABIGAIL: (Lalakasan ang boses.) Syokla!
MIKHAIL: E, di kompleto na tayo.
ABIGAIL: Hahahaha.
PIA: Diosmio santo! (Mamemewang na parang gustong sabunutan ang sarili.)

Maghahabulan uli paikot sa mesa ang dalawang bata. Isa sa peboreyt nilang laro ito - aastang bakla si Mikhail, tutuksuhin siya ni Abigail, at maghahabulan sila. Sasayaw at kekending si Mikhail, at hihiyaw sa tawa si Abigail. Maintindihan ni Pia ang sitwasyon at iiling-iling na matatawa na lamang ito. Bigla ay mapatigil sa paghahabulan ang dalawang bata. Mapapansing nasa pintuan si June, nakabilad ang legs. Matitigil ang laro ng mga ito, tititigan ang legs ni June, mapapanganga. Magkakamot ng batok na tutungo sa banyo si June, isasara ang pinto. Maririnig ang tunog ng binuksang shower mula sa loob.

ABIGAIL: Ang puti!
MIKHAIL: Seksi! Mas seksi siya sa iyo, Mommy!
ABIGAIL: Mommy, di ba boy siya? Pa’no nangyari iyon? Di ba dapat ikaw ang girl?
PIA: Ah… (Bubuntung-hininga, maiiling na liligpitin ang kalat ng dalawa sa mesa.) If you’ll excuse us, kakain muna kami, ha.
MIKHAIL: Boy si Mommy kasi mas matanda si Mommy at siya naghahanapbuhay, di ba, Mommy?
ABIGAIL: Girl din si Mommy, no. Di ba girl ka, Mommy?
PIA: Ang tatalino ninyo! Sobra!
MIKHAIL: Ikaw lang naman ang girl e. Gaya-gaya ‘to kay Aisa, Mommy, pamaton-maton, pero ang totoo, sobrang arte nito, Mommy! Ayaw umalis sa harap ng salamin, gusto pa mag-band majorette. (Gagayahin si Abigail na pasuklay-suklay kunyari ng buhok, paikot-ikot sa harap ng salamin at pa-twirl-twirl ng baton.)
ABIGAIL: Si June ang boy, no, hindi si Mommy. Tingnan mo ang buhok ang igsi, hanggang tenga! Saka nagbi-brief!
PIA: (Bubuhatin ang mga baso at ilalapag sa lababo.) Tigil na sabi iyang tsismis e, at ako’y pagod na pagod na pagod na sa inyo kanina pa!
MIKHAIL: E ang puti-puti niya! Meron bang boy na ang ganda ng legs? Ang kinis!
ABIGAIL: Maganda din naman si Mommy ah. Long hair pa!
PIA: Pareho kaming girl! (Pabagsak na itatapon sa lababo ang mga plato at tinidor. May mabibiak yata, masa-shock na naman ang dalawa. Mula sa loob ng banyo, mapapansin na pinatay ang shower. Hindi ito napapansin ng dalawang bata.) We’re lesbians! Naiintindihan nyo ba? We’re lesbians! (Sabay na iiling ang dalawa. Mapapabuntung-hininga si Pia, pagkuway haharapin nang paseryoso ang dalawang bata.) Okay. Let’s put it this way… (Sa mas kampanteng boses.) Pareho kaming babae, okay? Gusto namin ang isa’t-isa. Mahirap bang intindihan yun?
MIKHAIL: Dapat isa sa inyo boy!
PIA: E, sa ginawa kami ng lintek na Diyos na parehong girl e, anong magawa natin. (Mauubos na ang pasensiya.) Pareho kaming me pekpek! Pareho kaming may suso! (Mapapahindig sa kinatatayuan ang dalawa.) Me bewang! Me wow legs! Me… (Gagayahin si Mikhail.) Me dirty fingers! (Mapapatakip ng bibig si Mikhail, mapapanganga naman si Abigail.) Mahirap bang tanggapin iyon???
MIKHAIL AT (Aalisin ang kamay sa bibig, ngingiti.) Hindi.
ABIGAIL: (Isasara muna ang bibig bago sasagot.) Di puwede iyon e.
PIA: Masama ba iyon?
MIKHAIL AT Okay lang yun!
ABIGAIL: Masama yun!
MIKHAIL: Di ba si Aisa din, Mommy, pareho silang girl ng gelpren niya? Di ba ayos sila?
ABIGAIL: Pa’no na kami!?! Sa’n na kami titira?
PIA: At bakit? Pinapalayas na kayo ng magaling nyong ama?
ABIGAIL: Ayaw na namin dun! Masama si Papa, andaming asawa!
MIKHAIL: Hihiwalayan na niya si Mama Ella, Mommy! Magpapaanal sila!
ABIGAIL: Tapos ililipat na kami sa public school!
PIA: Iiwanan nyo na Mama Ella nyo? Pagkatapos kayo alagaan ng limang taon? Basta n'yo na lang siya iwanan?
MIKHAIL: Sabi ng Papa, paghatian kami. Ako sasama sa kanya. Eto maiwan kay Mama Ella.
PIA: Aba, masaya siya!
MIKHAIL: Hindi naman ako sasama sa kanya, no.
ABIGAIL: (Luhaan na titingin sa kapatid.) Sabi mo sasama ka sa Papa.
MIKHAIL: E, ayaw mong sumama, e! Ayaw ko naman sumama mag-isa. Kung sasama ka sa Papa, e di sama ako. (Tatapihin sa braso ang kapatid.) Sumama ka na kasi! Mabait naman si Ate Chona.
ABIGAIL: Ayoko na! Waah, andami na nating Mommy! Naguguluhan na ako sa school, e. Pag nagtatanong si Ma’am sinong nanay ko hindi ko na alam sino ang isasagot ko, e.
PIA: E, di, sabihin mo ang totoo.
ABIGAIL: Iyon na nga e! Naguguluhan si Ma’am sa totoo e. Kasi andami ng sagot ko e!
MIKHAIL: Ako hindi ko sinasabi ang totoo. Sabi ko sa Ma’am ko si Mama Ella lang ang nanay ko.
PIA: (Indignant.) Hindi mo na ako nanay? Bah, ako nag-anak sa iyo ah!0 Ako nagpalaki sa iyo ah! Limang taon kitang inalagaan, ipinaglaba, pinasuso, lahat, nangayayat ako kapupuyat sa iyo, ah! Tapos, nagpapadala pa ako ng alawans nyo, binibisita ko pa kayo pag Christmas, pag birthday nyo, pag may kumperensiya at miting kami sa Maynila, pinupuntahan ko kayo sa iskul, tapos sasabihin mo sa Ma’am mo, hindi mo na ako nanay? Ha? Ha? Hindi mo ako nanay? Lahat ginawa--
MIKHAIL: (Ituturo ang ina.) E kayo kasi, Mommy, ang gulo ng buhay nyo e!
ABIGAIL: Malilito si Ma’am!

Mapapatingin sila sa dakong banyo at maririnig na humahagikhik si June. Sisimangot ang dalawang bata.

MIKHAIL: (Pabulong.) Tingnan mo, girl siya kung tumawa!
ABIGAIL: (Pabulong.) Oo nga. (Babaling sa ina.) Pa’no iyan, Mommy, babae ang asawa mo! Apat na ang magiging Mommy namin…. waaaah!
(Mapapanganga, saka maiiling na gustong maiyak o matawa ni Pia.)
MIKHAIL: Hah! Ikaw kasi, nagsasabi ng totoo!
ABIGAIL: Waaah!
MIKHAIL: Hah! Kawawa si Maam mo!

Bumunghalit ng tawa si Pia. Ngangalngal naman sa hinagpis si Abigail. Yayakapin ito ni Pia. Lalabas ng banyo si June na humihiyaw sa tawa. Nakatapis ito ng tuwalya, basa ang buhok at paa, nangingintab ang mga binti at braso. Maghahawakan sila sa balakang ni Pia habang magkabali-baliko ang baywang sa katatawa. Bibitiw sa pagkahawak ng ina si Abigail at babaling sa kapatid, ngumangalngal pa rin.)

MIKHAIL: Ingay-ingay mo! Problema na sabi ng school iyon e!
ABIGAIL: Lolokohin ako ng mga classmates ko! Huhu!
MIKHAIL: Nagsasabi ka kasi ng totoo!
ABIGAIL: Tatawanan nila ako! Andami na ng nanay ko!
MIKHAIL: Susuntukin ko sila!
ABIGAIL: Pa’no na ang grade ko sa GMRC? Waaah!!!
MIKHAIL: Puro grades ang iniisip mo!
PIA: (Matigil saglit ang tawa.) Anong GMRC?
JUNE: Good manners and right conduct. (Titingalain siya ng dalawang bata.)
PIA: Meron pa ba nu'n hanggang ngayon?
JUNE: Pa’no ako nakick-out sa Notre Dame sa palagay mo?
PIA: Akala ko nagdrop-out ka, hindi nakick-out?
JUNE: (Kikindatan si Pia, saka magkakamot ng batok.) Nakick-out po.
MIKHAIL: (Ituturo si June.) Ah, bisto! Nag-tell-a-lie kay Mommy!
ABIGAIL: Kinick-out ka sa school??? (Ngingisi at tatango si June.)
MIKHAIL: Siga ka, men! (Magha-high five kay June.)
PIA: Aba, natuwa ka pa yata. Maki-kick-out ka na rin ba?
ABIGAIL: (Luhaan.) Malapit na iyan magline of 7, Mommy.
MIKHAIL: (Kay June.) Anong kasalanan mo, men?
JUNE: Wala.
MIKHAIL: Nag-cheat ka, men?
JUNE: Lahat sa Notre Dame nagti-cheat no. (Mag-aapir uli silang dalawa ni Mikhail.)
MIKHAIL: E, anong kasalanan mo nga?
ABIGAIL: Ikaw iyong cheat! Mommy, si Mikhail pag exam nagkukodigo, papatext pa sa akin ng answer.
PIA: Nagtitext ka naman.
ABIGAIL: E, ano naman ang gawin ko, pag na-fail ka hindi na tayo pag-aralin ng Papa, isosoli tayo…
MIKHAIL: (Pagdaupin ang mga palad, sabay bow sa kapatid.) Utang ko sa iyo ang line of 8 ko, peks man. (Babaling sa ina.) Iiwanan kami sa Mama Ella, Mommy, pag nag-anal na sila.
ABIGAIL: Isosoli kami sa iyo, Mommy, pag nag-analment na sila!
MIKHAIL: (Babaling uli kay June, kakalabitin ito.): Hoy, bakit ka nakick-out nga?
JUNE: (Kikindatan si Mikhail.) May nasuntok ako.
MIKHAIL: Hah!
ABIGAIL: Boy?
PIA: Valedictorian nilang bakla.
ABIGAIL AT
MIKHAIL: (Mag-aapir.) Ahahahaha!
JUNE: Inglesera e. Lampa naman.
ABIGAIL AT
MIKHAIL: (Makipag-apir kay June.) Yehahaha!
PIA: Saka pinapapalda siya. E, iyong uniform niya pang-boys.
ABIGAIL AT
MIKHAIL: Nagpapants ka?
ABIGAIL: Sa iskul? (Tatango lang si June.)
MIKHAIL: Si Nadong, Mommy, klasmeyt ko, tibu iyon, mag-isang girl sa softball team sa school, pero pag sa class nakapalda! Hinuhubaran nga namin!
PIA: Walang girls team sa softball sa school ninyo?
MIKHAIL: Sa elementary, wala. Sa cheering team lang iyong girls. Eto, Mommy, member ng cheering team, panalo sila lagi, palibhasa ang lalaki ng mga bunganga. Ang iingay.
ABIGAIL: Kesa naman gagaya sa iyo, hindi marunong maglaro! Wah, hindi makapasok sa softball team nila iyan, Mommy!
PIA: Ganu'n ba? Sama ka kay June every Sunday, para pakilala ka niya sa mga softball players nila, tuturuan ka.
MIKHAIL: Talaga???
ABIGAIL: Buti pa si Nadong sa kanya, Mommy, ‘Kakapasok pa sa softball team! Beeeh! Lampa! (Akmang susuntukin ni Mikhail ang kapatid, papagitna si June.)
PIA: (Inihahanda ang pagkain ni June. Lalagyan ng Coke ang baso nito, saka kukuha ng tasa sa dish holder, ilalapag sa mesa at bubuhusan ng kape mula sa coffee jug.) Tigil na nga iyan. Kayong dalawa pag kayo ang nag-usap, isang malaking tournament e. Mauubos pasensiya… (Matitigil sa pagsasalita ito. Pinagtutulungang hipuin ng magkapatid ang braso ni June.) Ah… uy, ano iyan, nali-lesbian na rin ba kayo? (kay June) Honey, you get into your clothes now at nang makapaghapunan ka na. Baka ma-gang rape ka rito.
MIKHAIL: Ang kinis!
ABIGAIL: Ang puti!
JUNE: (Mapapangisi na magkakamot ng batok, hawak sa dibdib ang tapis na tuwalya sa isang kamay.): Excuse me, kids. (Haharangin ito ng dalawang bata, pagpipiyestahan ang mapuputing braso sa hipo at kurot, hanggang sa pagtulungang hilahin ang tapis na tuwalya. Mahuhubaran si June at mabibilad sa entablado ang likod nito.

MIKHAIL AT
ABIGAIL: Wow!
MIKHAIL: Eeee girl!
ABIGAIL: Ngi, naka-brief!

Tatakbo sa kuwarto si June nang naka-brief, hila-hila ang tuwalya na pilit itinatakip sa nabilad na katawan. Shocked na nanunuod lang si Pia sa ginagawa ng dalawang anak.

MIKHAIL: Burlis! Burlis!
JUNE: Eeee bastos! Hihihihi!

End

What Steinem said

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:10:00 +0000

"It’s not so much the technology itself as it is who controls it. Anything can be used for or against the welfare of women -- or the welfare of anyone -- depending on who controls it. The women in the Kalahari take you out into the desert with their digging sticks and show you the herbs they use for contraception, for abortifacients, or to render themselves sterile when they’ve had enough children -- not to mention the herbs that work for headaches, and for migraine headaches. They have such sophisticated knowledge of the pharmacological use of plants that the big drug companies are still trying to steal their secrets. The knowledge has been there, but later it was suppressed by patriarchal systems. Look at the three centuries of murdering something like six million witches because they practiced medicine for women – they understood contraception and they performed abortions."

Gloria Steinem

Tumba Lata goes to CDO

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:09:00 +0000

Hubris is the name

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:08:00 +0000

lesbianismo, mga NGOs, at mga imam sa Jolo

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:06:00 +0000

Actually, alam din naman ng mga ustadzes sa Jolo yung mga nagli-live in. Alam yan nila lahat. Pero wala rin naman silang ginagawa.

Tumba Lata: Okay. Ano sa palagay mo ang main obstacles to providing support to LGBT people who may be victims of violence?

Ussah: Wala man obstacles, basta huwag lang pangalanan.

Radz: Oo.

TL: The moment you name it, na lesbian ito, magri-react lahat?

Ussah: Oo. Saka marami pa ring fanatics diyan sa Jolo. Pag lesbian siya nagpu-fall pa rin siya sa women, tapos, pag bakla naman dun pa rin siya sa men. Ganun.

TL: Which no longer hold. Di ba? Na categories?

TL: Anyway, in what way would you be able to help liban pa sa guidance and counseling? Pauutangin? Kasi magbi-birthday yung girlfriend.

Ussah: Patayin ko siya.

TL: Haha.

Ussah: Para sa akin, kung human rights violations ang issue, kahit wala na siguro iyang mga office or whatever, dahil yung lines of communications, yung technology ngayon, may internet, may cellphones, pag may mangyayari, alam nila kung sino yung puwede nilang takbuhan o tawagan, kahit nandun sa Davao o sa Manila. Kahit huwag ka nang mag-setup ng kuwan sa Jolo.

TL: You wouldn’t recommend talaga na…parang don’t rock the boat talaga?

Ussah: Ya. Parang ganun.

TL: Mahirap? They’ll gang up on you?

Ussah: Oo.

TL: Tapos, tutal, wala din naman existing local policy o religious fatwah na may penalties for homosexuals, wala naman, di ba?

Ussah: Meron siguro.

TL: Like, gina-ban ba nila from attending worship ang mga homosexuals?

Ussah: Wala. Hindi.

TL: But the homosexuals themselves do not go to the mosque. That’s what I know.

Ussah: Kasi, tingnan mo. Kahit naman homosexuals, Shei, pag pumunta sa mosque to pray, ang attire nila, attire din ng mga lalaki. Tapos yung mga lesbians, ganun din, attire din ng mga babae, covered din lahat sila, kaya walang kuan, di ba.

Radz: Wala naman sa Sulu o sa Muslim na ang mga bakla at tomboys… hindi ba katulad sa city na papasyal para… katulad namin. Nirerespeto din namin kultura namin, kaya hindi umabot na nakikialam ang mga ulama o ano. Nasa pagkatao na rin yun ng tomboy.

Ussah: Actually, alam din naman ng mga ustadzes sa Jolo yung mga nagli-live in? Alam yan nila lahat. Pero wala rin naman silang ginagawa.

Radz: Hindi rin naman pinapakita pagdating sa...

Ussah: Ang effect lang, kung nakikita, sa babae. Kasi kung nakakarelasyon ng tomboy, parang bababa talaga yung kuan mo.

TL: Yung fetching price mo.

Ussah: Oo. Kasi kuan yan, kapin tumbuy. Ganun ang sinasabi.

TL: Parang left-over ng tomboy?

Ussah: Oo.

TL: Ganun din ang mga Bisaya, e. Nakonsumo na na sa tomboy.

Ussah: Tapos, Shei, naririnig ko yung mga sinasabi ng mga lalaki, Ah, sabi nila, pag pumatol na yan sa tomboy, kahit mapangasawa mo pa yan, may time din na iiwanan ka (laughter), babalikan yun…ganun!

TL: Bakit yan? Hahahaha.

Radz: Ang mga lalaki naa-attract man din sa tomboys. Nata-challenge yan sila sa lesbians.

Ussah: Oo. Siyempre. Challenge yan sa kanila.

TL: They find it provocative. Parang mga gago, they think that lesbians are sexually available to them and they find it provocative na you walk around wearing your tomboy badge, I’m sexually unavailable to you! parang ganun. Haha.

Ussah: Tapos, naka-make love ka na dun sa guy, tapos naka-moan ka…haha, ang ego nila lomobo talaga, parang, wow ang tomboy nag-moan!

TL: Ang tomboy gilamian hahaha. Iyan si Mherz, pag-uwi nila, muntik na yang makipagbugbugan kasi yung mga porter sa pantalan, nagpupumilit ba na buhatin ang bag niya, dih ba, dih ba, tapos nagpupumilit talaga. Pinagsabihan siya ng magpakababae ka na kasi, ba, baka maligawan pa kita. Sukoa ni Mherz, uy, muntik na silang magbuntalan, buti na lang may mga kasama siya, inawat. Ano yan, common yan na joke. Sasabihan mo, huwag kang magsalita nang ganyan, marinig ka niyan, bubugbugin ka. Tapos, sasabihin sa iyo na, ay, kung maganda lang yan, siya ang lamog sa akin. Ganyan ba, mga sexist na mga assumptions. Nga lamian ang tomboy makipagseks sa lalaki, hindi lang nila alam.

Radz: Meron din mga babae na hindi talaga nila kayang pumatol sa tomboy.

Ussah: Okay lang yun, di ba? Para sa akin, yun ang straight.

Radz: meron din lalaki na hindi talaga nila kaya, kahit blow job, hindi nila kayang magpaganun sa bakla. It means, straight talaga sila. Yun ang para sa akin, straight.

Ussah: Pero magpa-blow job sila sa wives nila?

Radz: Oo. Okay lang yan. Pero huwag lang sa bakla. Para sa akin, yun, Shei, ang straight.

TL: Homophobic para sa akin yun!

Ussah: Pero kung kaya mo na, ma-tolerate mo na na makipagseks sa lesbian, hindi ka na one hundred percent na straight.

Radz: Okay yung ganun. Para sa akin naman, okay lang sa akin na lalaki papatol sa tomboy, pero kung tomboy papatol sa kapwa niya tomboy, para sa akin abnormal na yun.

TL: Oo, kasi nga ang heteronormative na relasyon, yung man-woman.

Ussah: Oo.

TL: So para sa iyo, yung tomboy at saka girl, man-woman, heteronormative pa rin yun.

Radz: Oo.

TL: Pag nagtomboy to tomboy na?

Radz: Nah, hindi na.

TL: Abnormal na.

Radz: Oo.

TL: Baliktad tayo,

Ussah: What she is saying is, pag babae siya, tapos papatol sa isang lesbian, tapos butch din naman, parang yung tingin niya lalaki yung butch. Biyadtu? Siguro ganun din. Same pa rin siya.

Radz: Example, siya, mahaba ang hair niya. Tapos, papatol siya sa tomboy, yung butch talaga, lalaki. Tapos, pagkatapos ng ilang taon, papatol na siya sa long hair na katulad niya? Abnormal yun sa akin.

Ussah: Hahahahaha.

TL: Hindi a.

Radz: Ayaw ko. Yun talaga ang hindi ko ma-accept.

TL: Ah, ganun. Talaga? Ano siya, heterosexual.

TL: Ako naman maiinsulto ako pag ang girlfriend ko, from being a lesbian... and when I say from being a lesbian, nakipagrelasyon sa akin, o kaya nakipagrelasyon sa kapwa babae, tapos naging ano siya, suddenly…

Radz: Nag-asawa siya ng lalaki?

TL: That’s the ultimate turn-off sa akin. Shiiit, insulto!

Ussah: Sa kanya, okay lang.

Radz: Ang ayaw ko lang, girl ko siya, tapos, sexy, nalaman ko na sexy din ang pinatulan niya. Parang… pareho na kami.

TL: Feeling mo, naalasan ako? Ngayon, kakumpetensiya ko na siya?

Ussah: Actually, parang ganun ang naging experience niya.

Radz: Hindi ko man alam. Siguro kung alam ko lang, kahit tsismis-tsismis lang, na ganun siya, hindi ko siya magiging girlfriend. Pag alam ko na tomboy siya.

Ussah: Pero before, yung ex-girlfriend niya? Girl talaga. Long hair.

TL: It could be kasi na… magulo naman kasi ang buhay e. Sometimes kasi life itself teaches you. Suddenly…

Radz: Hindi. Sa akin kasi, bakit mo pinatagal, parang ganun kahabahaba ng…

Ussah: Ilang years kayo noon, eleven?

TL: At that time siguro, hindi pa niya nadiscover na she's capable of loving another woman.

Radz: Kasi ako, ako, ha. Conservative ang nanay at tatay ko. Pero alam ko na tomboy ako. Humanap talaga ako ng paraan na hindi masaktan ang parents ko. Pero alam ko na tomboy ako. Dati sa elementary, sabi ko, baka nakiki-join lang ako. Nung high school ako naramdaman ko na humahangad ako sa babae, pero dinidiscuss ko pa rin sa sarili ko na, Ah, baka paglaki ko baka gusto ko, ganun. Dini-deny ko pa rin. Hanggang tinry ko pa rin na merong magkagusto sa akin para malaman ko talaga kung ano ba talaga ang feeling ko. Maraming nanligaw sa akin pero ayaw ko talaga. Nung nag-college ako, nagkaroon ako ng babae na karelasyon. Hanggang nalaman ng parents ko, nagalit sila sa akin. Sinubukan ko pa rin na… para maistop. Pero hindi ako happy. Alam ko talaga na tomboy ako. Bakit patagalin natin kung tomboy talaga tayo? Tayo naman ang nakakaalam, e, kung saan talaga ang feeling natin. Ano ba ang gusto natin? Hindi yan parang gamot o parang science na kailangan mo pang obserbahan, para malaman mo kung ano ka talaga.

Ussah: Ikaw. Sa iyo. Siya, nagdecide siya na lesbian siya at the age of 40.

TL: Ya. Pero bata pa ako, may mga attraction na ako sa mga babae. Kaya lang, hindi ko ma-place. Haha, hindi ko maintindihan bakit nagpapalpitate ang heart ko, bakit nanggiginaw ako, but I could not imagine myself making love with another woman, hindi ko alam na sexual yun o romantic.

Ussah: In hati niya, meron pa rin, kasi bata pa siya, nararamdaman na niya.

Ussah: Oo, pero nagkaroon ka ng relasyon sa lalaki?

TL: Oo.

Radz: O. Kumbaga, naiintindihan ko na happy yung ano niya. E, ako, hindi mo matawag na bisexual ako.

Ussah: Pero si Shei hindi siya bisexual.

TL: I would not call myself bisexual.

Ussah: Napagdaanan niya lang yun, pero sa gitna nun…

TL: Ang feeling ko kasi, parang it's compulsory to be a girl, kaya naging girl ako.

Radz: Ah. Ah, ganun?

TL: Kaya rin siguro sa mga naging boyfriends ko, hindi rin ako mag-enjoy talaga.

Radz: Ah, hundred percent, kuwan ka na. Hindi katulad ng ex-partner ko na before, kami, alam ko na ang dami niyang boyfriends. Tapos, ngayong kami na, pumapasok din ang mga lalaki, parang dumidiga. Ang hindi ko maintindihan kasi, kung tomboy ka, bakit mo pa pinatagal nang ganun katagal?

TL: E kasi, some are not born tomboys e. Yung iba later na…

Ussah: Sa later part kasi ng relationship nila, parang may napi-feel na siya, pero dini-deny niya.

Radz: Oo. Dini-deny ko na… kung tomboy itong pinili ko…

Ussah: Parang nagkaroon na ba siya ng mga pagseselos sa mga friends na mga girls.

TL: Sa mga attentions niya sa girls.

Ussah: Oo.

Radz: Sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi naman siguro ito papatol sa akin kung tomboy ito. Okay lang siguro kung papatol siya sa akin na tinago ko ang pagkatomboy ko. Sinasabi ko sa sarili ko, hindi ito tomboy.

Ussah: To the point na mineet siya ng asawa ng isa sa mga friends nila, kinausap siya na sabihan yung partner niya na huwag nang sasamasama sa asawa. Pero during that time nasa stage of denial pa rin siya, na misinterpreted lang ng mga tao yung partner niya.

TL: Hahaha!

Ussah: Nung wala na sila, marami na yung mga kuwento-kuwento ng mga tao. Ganito, sabi nila, hindi lang namin sinyeyr sa iyo kasi ganito ganyan.

Radz: Pero hindi pa rin ako… sabi ko sa sarili ko, bakit ngayon lang nila sasabihin? Para matahimik ako, dineretso ko talaga siya.

Ussah: Pero there was a time na ilang beses mo rin siyang kinonfront, nagdeny siya sa iyo, ano.

Radz: Nagdeny.

Ussah: Nag-ano pa siya. Sinong me sabi niyan? Gusto niya raw atakehin. Parang ganyan.

Radz: May anak naman yung babae na yun e. So ibig sabihin, siya ang nag-stand na lalaki. At saka andaming feedbacks after sa nangyari sa amin. Kaya naniwala ako. Baka after ten years na naman o eleven years, baka papatol na naman siya ng tomboy. And then iikot na naman. Baka papatol na naman siya ng lalaki. And then after ten years, babae na naman.

Radz: E, buhay na niya yun.

Ussah: Ganun, Shei. Tapos ang mga friends kong lesbians, sila ang providers sa relationship. Ganun. Lalaki talaga sila. Tapos yung girlfriends nila, babae talaga sila. Kasi yung girlfriends nila ang mag take care ng bahay, magluluto, maglalaba, mga ganun. Parang man-woman relationship talaga. Kaya minsan, pag naririnig ko yung mga lesbians diyan sa city, parang… may confusion din ako, naku-confuse din ako. Para bang bakit ka makipagrelasyon, tapos hindi nyo alam kung sino sa inyo ang babae at lalaki?

TL: Kasi akala natin, yung lehitimong relasyon lang, yung man-woman. All the rest imitation na lang, parang mga peke.

Ussah: Okay lang sa akin, kahit lesbian may karelasyon, parang accepted ko, kasi nakikita ko, parang lalaki din siya, e. Tapos yung girlfriend niya babae, huwag lang magdidate sa…

TL: Tomboy din.

Ussah: Oo. Kasi parang hindi ko na maintindihan.

Radz: Yung nagdi-date ang babae sa boy, tapos nagdi-date rin sa tomboy? Parang hindi ko ma… Pero meron ako mga kilala na conservative ang pamilya, pag sa public pareho daw sila magdamit, ganyan, pero pag dala-dalawa lang sila, dun na malaman kung sino ang tomboy dun.

TL: Role-playing ang tawag dun.

Radz: Pero ang hindi ko rin maintindihan yung tomboy kayo pareho.

TL: Haha.

Ussah: Isa pa sa hindi ko rin maintindihan sa mga lesbians. Ang mga lesbians parang… lalaki rin kami, ganyan. Tapos, may maririnig ako, may makikita ako, yung lesbian nagkagusto sa isang lesbian. Sabi ninyo lalaki kayo, tapos bakit, may nakita ka bang yung lalaki nagkagusto sa isang lalaki? Wala. Pag lesbian, lesbian.

TL: Hindi, e. Sa akin, I fall in love for so many reasons. Mainlab ako sa kanya because of her brains, nainlab ako sa kanya dahil sa may sinabi siya o may ginawa siya na… incidental lang yun na ang hugis ng katawan niya mataba na girl na naglilipstick, incidental lang yun na tomboy siya. Parang ganun. Pero ang consistent lang, babae siya, she has a female genitalia. Yun lang.

Ussah: Ganun? Siguro kuan pa rin, no, cultural background pa rin.

TL: Siguro. Kasi yun ang nakasanayan natin.

TL: Yung mga butch lesbians, yung mga tomboys sa Davao, parang may term din sila sa amin, kasi hindi ako butchy masiyado e, androgynous ako e, kung minsan masculine, natatawg na Sir o otoh, pero kung minsan napapagkamalang… mukhang girl naman. Para sa kanila, hindi ako totoong lesbian, alanganin ako. Parang baklang lesbian. Oo! Ganun sa taga-Link, kasi mga ano talaga sila, butch-femme butch-femme talaga ang pattern nila. Kung minsan it makes me uncomfortable. Basta ang kaya kong mahalin, babae, babae lahat. Pero incidentally also, karamihan… isa lang yata… hindi isa… sa high school at college pa ako, yung nakaka-attract sa akin, na naglalaway ako, hahaha, yung mga seksing babae na long hair, tapos, maganda ang katawan, maganda ang legs. Pero siguro, dahil galing ako sa feminist movement, ayaw ko ng mga sexual objectification of women, mga ganyan, parang may political status yung masculine na babae, kasi, hindi ka lang babae, kundi you also assume… yung skills ng men meron ka rin, yung physical strength nila meron ka din, kaya may preference ako sa mga ganyan. So, except sa first, nung nainlab na ako na sabi ko this time I could now imagine myself making love with a woman… yun siya yung girl, babae manamit, after that, karamihan, butch. Mas butch kesa sa akin.

Ussah: Yucks! Kadiri ano?

TL: Oo. Mas butch kesa sa akin.

Radz: Maimagine mo maya kaw biya…

TL: Tapos ang tendency nila, gagawin nila akong girl. Ako naman, okay lang. Okay lang.

Ussah: Hahaha.

TL: Pag minsan gaganyan-ganyan din ako, pero mas sila yung… Hey, behave! Hahaha.
Shiiit! Makalimot man ko usahay. Molakaw ko sa dalan mo-swagger ko.

Radz: Baka inaano mo lang, baka sinasabi mo lang na lesbian ka, pero girl ka. Girl ka na ayaw mo sa lalaki. Pero girl ka sa tomboy.

TL: Okay lang yun. Matanggap ko yun.

Ussah: Ano? Pano?

Radz: Girl siya. Pero inaano niya, akala niya, siya ba in certified lesbian talaga.

TL: Hihihi. Yucks! Certified lesbian!(Laughter)

Radz: Hindi. Ayaw mo sa lalaki, aha, pero mas gusto mo, ikaw, makipagrelasyon sa tomboy.

Ussah: Certified lesbian pa rin.

Radz: Lesbian siya na partner ng tomboy.

Ussah: Ah.

TL: Pero if I had an opportunity, nag-muscle building talaga ako. Naiinggit ako sa mga young tomboys na physically strong. Pero in a way, may katotohanan dun sa sinabi ni Mona kasi karamihan sa mga ano ko, I play the... kumbaga sa Chinese, ano ba yan, yin-yang? I play the desired… yung desired nila na [opposite role].

Radz: Hahaha. Ganun?

TL: Oo. Pag nagrereklamo na. Like, ako ang strong! Okay, ako ang cute. Hihi. Pero hindi, e. Hindi pa rin, nag-aaway pa rin kami. Kung minsan mas ako ang aggressive.

Ussah: Hindi ko maintindihan. Hihihi!

TL: Oo. Role-playing kasi yun, e. Stereotypes. Stereotypes yun, e. We tend to be rigid in our roles. Pero ang totoong buhay hindi ganun e.

One night in memphis

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:05:00 +0000

stick it down their asses day

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:03:00 +0000

Coms goes to a rally

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:02:00 +0000

The truth about my father

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:02:00 +0000

Once I went to an island with my Aunt without the knowledge of my father. Only my mother knew. My mother thought he won’t be home that night. When he did, he was surprised not to find me. He asked for me. Where is Merilyn? They could not tell him the truth. My sister said, he isn’t home yet, Amah. He is still out, downtown. My father said, Damn. Okay, I will wait for him before I take my meal. So he waited for me a long while. Until night. Then he said, where did he go? You go with me, we will look for him! My sister said, I don’t know, Amah, where in town he went. My mother could not stand it anymore, she told him the truth. My father got furious, he turned the house upside down. He said, Produce my son! If he isn’t home yet tomorrow, I will kill all of you! I will burn this house down!!!

Then he called. He told my aunts, You bring my son back! I give you until tomorrow, or your sister will be dead! He meant his wife, yes, my mother.

Then he spoke to me.

I said, Hello? He said, What do you want? That you come home and find your mother dead? Or you come home right at this moment? I packed up right away. My mother was going to die. I would rather that my father died instead of my mother.

mug shots

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:02:00 +0000

Fight the despair arm the spirit!

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:00:00 +0000

Fight the despair, arm the spirit!

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 00:59:00 +0000

Lunsul is Tausug word for Go out, Go forth, the equivalent of Walt Whitman’s Allons!

A painful and sometimes bitter argument I have with friends over “the thing I have with the kids in Jolo” is that instead of herding them in in a conference room and put some sense into their drug-addled brains, why do I encourage them, even accompany them, on late nights on the street?

I don’t really. Only once, or twice maybe, when we went to this nondescript videoke bar and had the dykes do some rap number, and another time, to do OPP (Operation Pikit-Pikit) when we pasted stickers on the walls around Sulu State College and down Martirez Street making fun of fags, lesbians, government, and the Iranian president.

But I do confess to commending them for their runaway ways. And for staying the night out. In Paris, in New York, in big cities, I tell them, the feminists have to stage these take-back-the-night street rallies because after dusk the streets belongs to hooligans, the women cannot go out without being violated. Here the lesbians get occasional beatings but they’re still out there like they belong to the streets day and night. Aren't they glad they live here?

So on a Saturday the 17^th of March we had this night out. At six in the evening we were gathered at the plaza right across the Capitol, arguing to go or not to go. The bone of contention was whether we should be joining the MNLF parade the next morning and sit at the lectures too. Earlier, Berkis had asked us to sponsor a forum, getting an MNLF speaker to orient Tumba Lata members about the Bangsamoro struggle. We declined that one, fearing for our lives, and my sanity, and jealous of the money that we should be spending so that they will talk while we shut up. We were supposed to be doing rape documentation and some brainer job. We are barely alive, we said, for a lesbian organization, and first thing we do is listen to those guys who told us that they prefer lesbians to fags to do the rifle bearing for them and marry us if they like?

Ridz was in distress, arguing for a big NO. They would all be wearing their tirong, their head scarves, she said of the MNLF’s women, they will just find an occasion to berate us, send us home. Pagagalitan lang tayo, huwag na lang tayo magpakita doon.

Merz was impatient; the matter had been decided earlier on, we are not to go, it is too early to expose ourselves to censure, we had better stay quiet in the background and not call attention to ourselves, what with the gang rape that happened.

Thadz was about the only one who was for it: We have to stand our ground; that we are lesbians, good lesbians, and we support the Bangsamoro revolution, he said, forefinger stabbing the night air. We have to prove to them that we are as good as anyone, he said. So after a noisome tussle that threatened to turn into a brawl, it was no Go, and for those who want to be at the parade, get there as individuals supportive of the MNLF, not as Tumba Lata delegates. But Ridz did not even wait for the end of the argument, he was already out sticking bills around the plaza, on lampposts and treebarks. Then went to fetch our meals. At a little after seven we had some singing and rap session at Alkhan. Curfew was at nine so at eight thirty we went out to do our OPP. Before reaching the end of Martirez Street, men on the roadside harangued us.

Unu kamu, babae usug? Maytah kamu naglulunsul pa, dum na? What species are you, are you girls or boys, why are you still on the street at this hour of the night?

I was at the front line, the men was way behind. Someone fielded a cop-out, to my surprise and dismay, Mherz: Usug ba ha guwah, babae ha lawum: Boys on the outside, girls on the inside.

The roadside guy, seemingly emboldened, pursued: Babae ha lawum… Awn babae nagpapanaw ha dan ha dum? Girls on the inside you cads, would girls walk the street at this hour of the night?

Someone in the middle cut in: A small yet clear enough voice, was it Ridz?

Kami.

Us, why.

Missing Vaness

noreply@blogger.com (sheilfa) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 00:57:00 +0000