My life in between orgasms

CHECK OUT THE NEW WEBSITE! BOOKMARK ME AND SUBSCRIBE!

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 12:33:12 -0400

CHECK OUT THE NEW WEBSITE! BOOKMARK ME AND SUBSCRIBE!

You Don't Like Your Lips Licked?!

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 16:44:26 -0400

This is a unisex blog, this isn’t a how-to more so an explanation or reasoning perhaps.

My first encounter with having oral sex performed on was on my 13th birthday by the 18 year old boy who was my babysitter when I insisted on playing basketball on the courts a few blocks from my house. On that day, I was so excited to finally be a teen that I wore my money clip proudly. I had B cup boobs, I had long track legs and a mean June tan. I walked to the courts hoping to get more money and bumped into Andre*. The conversation wasn’t slick at all and I was completely clueless as to what I was saying yes to:

Andre: You turned 13 today right?

Me: Yup!

Andre: You ever been ate out?

Me: o_O what’s that?

Andre: Come with me real quick

and there you have it, in my innocent mind I thought he was asking me to dinner or lunch but never did I imagine he meant oral sex. I couldn’t process how pervy I was about to become because of this day. He only did that to me and we never did that again, how fucking evil right?! Now I was obsessed with that feeling!

Today, at the age of 26, I meet many women who not only request that their partner doesn’t do it but when it’s done they hate it. My cousin is one of those women. When she first told me about how she gets nervous when her boyfriends head goes between her thighs and the odd feeling she has I immediately thought “she’s self conscious”.

After my first oral encounter I didn’t have any kind of sex again with a guy until college. The first time a guy went down on me, as an adult, I did have this fear and I really didn’t know why. I was clean, in every meaning of the word, I didn’t have an odor but I had this nagging thought of what if. What if I didn’t taste right? what if my natural body chemistry smells like the 5th ring of hell? what if I have a hair bump from my first attempt at shaving? what if? what if? what if? I didn’t enjoy it that night, I couldn’t orgasm and I wanted nothing more than for him to just fuck me and leave my love ocean the hell alone. I psyched myself out of nut that night.

After that night I looked up all the best of everything for vaginal care. I know some of you are giggling but the fact of the matter is a lot of women are still using Lever 2000 to wash your vagina and at 18 I was right there with you. I found out about proper vaginal hygiene and care because nothing is worse than having a willing tongue, a wet lady pool and negative self-taunting thoughts running off your pleasure. I learned all about Lemisol and Summers Eve, I didn’t eat certain foods when I knew my suitor had an appetite and I began waxing. I stopped myself mentally from fucking up my physical/sexual greatness.

Women are thinkers, we over think and then think about why we think so much. Although brain productivity is encouraged in my world, we need to learn how to shut it down. I have so many women who ask me why they can’t enjoy it and the answer is simple. You won’t allow yourself to enjoy it.

If you really want to experience it fully, be honest about what worries you about it. Are you concerned about your natural smell and taste?

Are you concerned with how your vagina looks?

Are your concerns not physical but a control issue? having oral sex performed on you makes you feel extremely vulnerable, your legs are wide open, your partner can make you cry (if they’re any good) with the flick of the tongue.

I know these questions seem juvenile in theory but I’m a woman and although many will not admit it, these are questions we’ve seriously inwardly asked ourselves. My reason for asking my female audience is because once you address your issues, concerns, questions is the moment you can start removing that shield, relax and enjoy yourself. You can see that vaginas all look different, some lips are small and some are big, you will learn how your diet can control your bodily odor and taste, you will learn the best products to use for cleaning your lady of love.

Once I realized my concerns were things that weren’t a problem but a mental nagger, I went out and resolved each issue. So the next time he offered his tongue as a spoon, I gleefully accepted multiple times that night.

"So much of our time, energy, and attention is wasted trying to convince other people how wrong they..."

Thu, 31 May 2012 15:48:02 -0400

“So much of our time, energy, and attention is wasted trying to convince other people how wrong they are about us. People have a right to think whatever they choose to think. Just because they think it does not make it right.”

- - Iyanla Vanzant

A lesson I’m learning in all facets of my life currently.

Sex blogging and I

Thu, 31 May 2012 00:05:00 -0400

:Personal vent post by Elle, not the erotic nerd:

As you all know, I’ve recently began blogging again and my focus is sex/sexuality and soon gender. My tumblr began, and still is, a place I write for ME. My twitter is a reflection of my sporadic thoughts and moments in between living and accepting what life has offered me. Am I 100% spot on? no, never. I’m in trial and error, learning as fast as I possibly can while maintaining quality. I feel I have become a resource center, a sound off board for everyone and their sexual quest so my twitter is your direct line to me. I try my best to entertain without boring and to teach without talking AT you.

Recently I “met” someone who is a sex educator. I met her through someone close to my heart. The conversation was great, I was even invited to stay with her for a sex education certification..that is until two tweets and my letting her know my relationship to our mutual friend. The two tweets were me in mid-rant, as you all know I do when I am challenged, I could have rephrased some words and have paid special attention as to how I address certain things online since.

I do NOT take well to bullying nor do I respond well to being talked down to. I am well aware that I am the new fish in this pond but when a change is that swift it lets me know that your original reaching out was not only lacking sincerity but you had another motive. I guard my world well, I guard my resources even better. I take personal offense in that, especially when conversation was only via text/dm/email. Seeing how it took 35 hours for someone to go from reaching out 150% to being completely cold, mean, taunting and demeaning not only made me second guess myself but in all sincerity it stung a bit. Everything from my tweets to education was damn near ridiculed. I then recognized the high school clique mentality that followed and since she didn’t approve of me, a person she’s never met nor verbally spoken to, her contacts also cut me off. Touché.

I welcome new friendships and look forward to learning, at my own pace, from women more skilled and advanced in this arena. Sex and sexuality has always been my love but due to personal restraint and even guilt, I repressed it but I am NOT refined and I am walking towards the path of becoming more educated about it. I felt the need to write this blog because I was beyond offended that this person not only crossed EVERY line imaginable with me but went as far as to insult my intelligence. This is my PERSONAL venting post, not as the erotic nerd, but as Elle the person. I respect those who respect me and I am not easily fooled, regardless of the occasional jokes.

Sex educators and sex positive bloggers, please be genuine in your outreach. Do not attempt to bully and toss around clout and talk down to people with a genuine love and interest in this field. Do not attempt to manipulate situations for your own personal benefit and gain. Do not JUDGE (after all, isn’t that what you fight against? irony) before you actually take the time to personally get to know the person and furthermore, do not waste anyones fucking time. Time is essential and we lose it by the moment. If you have an inner circle, clique, so feminist you can’t even be genuine in your approach to another woman then please keep your pseudo support and friendship, I have ALWAYS made it where I am supposed to be and that my dear, will never change.

Sincerely,

Elle

The Girl Who Likes to Suck....Richard

Tue, 29 May 2012 17:13:35 -0400

Giggity.

I like to please. Pleasing my man makes me orgasm just as much, if not more, than being pleased by him. This post is not encouraging you to stick any Richard in your mouth but the one(s) you feel connected to?!? *cues song* baby it’s you!!!! you’re the one I love! you’re the one I need! you’re the only one I see!! c’mon baby it’s you!!

Yes, sucking my partners Richard makes me want to two step to a lovely song about being happily in love because at that moment, I am happily enjoying him..orally.

But I digress..

Giving oral sex is no longer just something to do because that is what you’re supposed to do to your partner, no that is such an understatement for what it does for me. I react from seeing his reaction of watching me enjoy his taste. I like the control I gain from it and my ego lives for it. I love seeing my partner in a euphoric state of utmost pleasure and I am the one doing it.

In order to properly speak into his mic, the performer must realize that this is her stage to own. You must make yourself comfortable. Nothing is worst than having to control your breathing, the mix of spit and hand strokes and to also have aching knees or a back spasm. This is something you can control, if you find yourself in the traditional on-your-knee position, grab a pillow. Stop being bashful, the more you feel comfortable the more you both can fully enjoy the experience. The performer must also know her limits, gagging is cute to some but gagging to the point of vomiting not only ruins the current mood but will be hard to erase from both of your memories. No one likes vomit, not even Richard.

Deep throating takes practice, porn is good for reference but porn stars are the olympians of sex. Attempting some of the things they do with ease can not only be unsafe but embarrass you. Pace yourself grasshopper. Oral sex is most mental for the performer, not only do you have fatigue in the mouth and jaw but your back and neck begins to ache (this is why comfort is essential, you have enough physical obstacles to overcome for the win for the team). Deep throating scares a lot of women because we automatically, well not me, think of the gag reflex. As soon as Richard tickles the throat some women mentally shut their throat down, I’ve seen this happen. You begin to panic and before you know it Richard is back at your lips, dry from the head down. The most important thing with deep throating is controlling your breathing and knowing how to ease Richard back there without filling you up too much and too quickly, you won’t die- I can assure you of that.

This is oral sex week, so this post ends here for me but for the women who write me asking about oral and deep throating..you have homework! If you are reading my blog and twitter, you more than likely have sex toys and if not- buy one. Get a silicone based dildo, something that isn’t stiff and has flexibility. Make this your Hello Richard! toy, practice on him. Learn how to go all the way down on him without your eyes bulging out and watering. Put a condom on it with only your mouth, sounds silly but if you are bashful this loosens you up to the idea of it without feeling judged while doing it. The better you become, the more confidence you gain it and the less you worry about being judged because you know you are a WINNER. Feel free to email me once you see his response is different :)

Man Monday: Get Ya Mind Right, Get No Sheets Left

Tue, 29 May 2012 14:22:25 -0400

There’s a mix up that happens between men and women in many different regards in process and result. And 11 out of 10 times, it comes from a disconnect in the mental attention that is key for women, and the actual physical result that is what men stake themselves on. I know myself, the actual deed being done is sure proof of the result I wanted, but for women it runs a lot deeper than that. The sentiment is everything, and the sometimes, even if the deed isn’t done right, it really is the thought that counts (as long as you deliver the goods soon afterwards…).

That’s what I’m looking at today: putting the thought into approaching the bedroom…or the kitchen…or the dryer…or even the trunk of your car. Details don’t matter just how you go about doing it. I’m a guy, so I know how much thought goes into getting the deed done…but I also know how little thought can go into getting it done right; especially if you’ve got no idea what right is. Only she can tell you what that is, and it’s going to vary from lady to lady. If you’re out here breaking out the exact same playbook on each girl, you’re definitely missing something, because no two are the same. So that’s where it’s about going to the next level with it. That’s when it’s time to start upstairs before you go downstairs.

You can impact her whole body by knowing her mind. If you really know her and what gets her going, you can access her entire being without even using your hands. Yeah, being able to handle her like a man and get physical with her is a must; no woman wants a man that can’t show her what he really is. But no woman wants to be completely treated like a crash test dummy either.

You can make it about you still by making it about her first. Women are mental creatures; they spend a lot of time in their own minds. So enter her world there first. Know where she likes to be touched, and touch her there in a way that she hasn’t figured out or felt before. Know what smells or sounds get her mind going. Because if you take her out of her Earthly moment, you can get it done in ways neither of you could imagine, on both levels.

Much of it is paying it forward as well. The best sex is selfless sex. Givers always get more back in return. If you get a second time, you should be good to go for good from there. Pay attention to what sets the tones the first few times, then expand on that and, most importantly, remember: NEVER STOP DOING THIS. By taking on the tone of what she thinks, she’ll return the favor by taking on the tone of what you like. Then you’ve got a perfect sexual and mental melting pot that takes your world to a new place.

Now the side effects of this may be dehydration, shaky legs and really amazing breakfasts at any time of the day. But I’d say that’s a worthy price to pay for just using a little bit more mind than muscle.

Baseball great Yogi Berra once said “90% of the game is half mental.” Trust me, this works even better in the game were playing here than the one it was originally intended for.

Peace & a lot more Love,

@CheapSeatFan

You don't own me, I'm not just one of your many toys

Fri, 25 May 2012 19:53:00 -0400

You don’t own me, don’t say I can’t go with other boys

And don’t tell me what to do
And don’t tell me what to say
And please, when I go out with you
Don’t put me on display, ‘cause

You don’t own me, don’t try to change me in any way
You don’t own me, don’t tie me down ‘cause I’d never stay

In my short years of breathing this beautiful yet polluted air, I’ve noticed one consistent mistake amongst us as people. We misconstrue emotions and feelings, habitually. A difference of opinion is mistaken as hatred or envy, being genuinely interested in someone is confused with being parched and desperate and the most popular one- jealousy means you care for someone.

jeal·ous/ˈjeləs/

Adjective:

Feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.
Feeling or showing suspicion of someone’s unfaithfulness in a relationship.

Synonyms:

envious - green-eyed

I have a partner and I care for him wholeheartedly. I am protective of his feelings, our love, our bond but am I jealous? no. The other day, while reading The Ethical Slut, I screen captioned the page I was on that referenced jealousy in relationships. My mentions went crazy and oddly enough, my partner called me to let me know jealousy was catching a ‘bad rap’. Now before I really dig into this topic allow me to say that my partner is NOT jealous in my eyes. Can he be overprotective? yes but I think it’s because he thinks it’s his job to stand at my gate and prevent people from misusing or abusing my time, energy, effort and/or love in any way.

Now that I’ve addressed that let me introduce his side of the argument via text message:

“Some jealousy is reasonable and makes for accountability. Jealousy of people is not okay and is a sign of insecurity. I don’t feel that, because it’s pointless. Jealousy of time spent that leads to potential neglect makes for awareness of that other person (their feelings) and that is healthy jealousy.”

I believe he is confusing his emotions. I think we, as people, have been hardwired into believing that in order to really show you care, you must become possessive. Jealousy is the twin of envy, you are envious of someone because you have an inch of jealousy in regard to them or something they have. I know this is a far stretch, to assume I know someone else’s feelings better than they do, but the emotion/feeling I think he is going for is:

pro·tec·tive/prəˈtektiv/

Adjective:

Capable of or intended to protect someone or something.
Having or showing a strong wish to keep someone or something safe from harm.

Synonyms:

defensive - preventive

As my partner, he wants to protect me. He isn’t suspiscious of my commitment to him, he is attempting to prevent harm to our relationship, his time, his feelings and myself. You are jealous of possessions and things that you or someone else can own, you are protective over people or things you see value in. When we leave our homes to go out, are we jealous of the neighboring house because it sits intimately close to ours? are we jealous of the teenagers who keep walking up and down the block? no, but we are PROTECTIVE. We may have a piece of shit house with rented furniture inside but we lock the doors and set an alarm to prevent someone from easily disturbing our peace of mind and ripping us off. Let us start replacing those emotions, thoughts and feelings we have been told since birth to feel because that’s what we should feel. Instead, let us begin exercising our vocabulary and utilizing websters dictionary to identify what it is that we REALLY feel.

Jealousy is NOT love.

"He asked: Ello there. this is _ aka ______ on twitter. So i was just wondering some..."

Thu, 24 May 2012 03:24:29 -0400

“

He asked:

Ello there. this is ___ aka ________ on twitter.

So i was just wondering some stuff….

what’s your real name?
where do you live (state/country)?
how old is your daughter?
are you straight, bi or lesbian?
what’s your favorite tv show?
would you ever visit Delaware?
if so can I meet you?
will you follow me on twitter?
whats your favorite sex toy?

so yeah that was just random stuff i think about at 3am in the morning….

kthanksbyeee

”

- -anonymous

name: Nerd, Erotic..the erotic nerd

location: USA, sometimes brazil, sometimes europe and randomly africa

child age: 3

sexuality: bisexual

TV: I only watch scandal and criminal minds outside of A&E, National Geographic and History Channel

Delaware visit? probably not

I was told to stay away from strangers

I follow those who I engage in regular conversation with and look forward to reading their random outbursts. But I do make it a point to speak to everyone, even if I flood my timeline :)

My fav. toy at the moment is the zini seed.

The day I discovered my vagina and its magical button

Wed, 23 May 2012 13:36:49 -0400

Masturbation has always been apart of my life. At first I thought it became official at 15 but upon further review of my life I remember the exact moment I rubbed my legs together in hopes of that feeling returning.

I was 7 years old and still living in Rio with my family. My mother was in nursing school and my father ran an English workshop so I stayed with my grandmother most of the time. My mom had three brothers, all were thugs by brazilian standards so the second level of my grandmothers home was almost a brothel. They had women that they “managed” and customers came and went. My grandmother completely ignored what was going on, she thought they sold car parts to makeshift mechanics.

One day my uncles were gone and one of the girls were in the second house with a customer, I remember saying it was okay to walk in because she was one of my favorites. I could lie and say she was braiding my hair if my mother came home early. I wasn’t allowed up those stairs, around the women, around my uncles and for damn sure not the clients so I had to prepare my lie in advance just in case. Barbara saw me outside of the window and told me to come in and watch the house until she returned from the market. Her client was sleep in a bedroom and she had a a rottweiler there in case I needed protection.

Barbara leaves me there and I begin to wander, this place was like the red curtain to me! I was never allowed there but I heard all the music, smelled the food cooking, the women laughing and they were all so gorgeous! I felt my family was keeping me from greatness so I made sure to make this once in a lifetime trip count (a trip up the stairs mind you). I remember hearing moaning while going through the beers in the fridge, loud moaning. I assumed it was the customer but when I walked to the door he was drunk out of his mind snoring, the moaning was on the television.

I saw a circle of women, all different shades of brown with beautiful, black shiny hair. All of them were completely naked and they were sitting on the floor in the shape of a circle. This is how I KNOW sexuality is natural and instinctive because I was anticipating what was next and so did down there. The women eventually laid down in this circle so that everyone was performing oral on everyone..it was like a pussy buffet! I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think all I knew was it now had a heartbeat. The scene was short and left me with blue clit, I left the second house and skipped my horny ass down to my house and went to my room. The heartbeat was still there but not as strong so I kept replaying it in my head while sitting on my horizontal bedpost. It had ridges, great massaging ridges and it was there I believe I first came from clit stimulation. After that day I sat on that damn bedpost hourly, so much my mother made me stay out of my room until bed because I wouldn’t come out. I had a relationship with that damn bedpost!

I had one other situation prior to that but my body wasn’t aware, but I know that at 7 my love button had a pulse and dammit it was alive!

Toy Tuesday! This weeks feature: The Fairy Wand

Tue, 22 May 2012 22:58:00 -0400

Technicalities:

Functions:Vibrating

Special Features:

Multispeed

Powerful

Control type:Built in control pad

Powered By:Electric

Color:Pink / White

Length:13”

Circumference:7 1/2”

Diameter:2 3/8” Weight: 19.07 oz

This week, I reviewed the Fairy Wand ,from EdenFantasys.com, which is the rival of the well known Hitachi Massage Wand. The unit is electrical so the vibrations are VERY intense, and in my opinion 2x better than the magnificent wand we know as The Hitachi. The vibrations are far more intense, I’ve tested the wand out for two weeks and each and every time it out-performs the hitachi. Size wise it reminds me of holding a microphone. It took me a few days to find the perfect way to hold it without feeling like I was working my biceps out but once you adjust, the size isn’t a problem. The head of The Fairy has some flexibility, but it will only move if you apply pressure and it’s not noticeable at all. The cord is about 5ft long, I can plug it in next to my bed and roll to the other side without fear of stretching the cord or pulling it out.

The only downside I see with the wand is the noise but it’s a pretty powerful toy so it’s kind’ve expected. I have yet to really enjoy the highest speed because it sounds as if I’m using my kitchen aid mixer in bed lol, it feels good but the noise can make you self conscious if someone else is in your home. I recorded a quick video when I first used it just going through the cycles of vibration modes so that you guys could hear just how loud it can get.

Aside from the noise, I LOVE the fairy. I orgasm everytime and with little effort on my end. You can use this on yourself for some me time or have your partner tease you with it, it can definitely make you scream. Cleaning the wand is extremely easy, storage is just keeping the cord secure so you don’t damage it.

"He Confesses: I will start this by saying that I was never the worlds greatest husband, father or..."

Tue, 22 May 2012 15:50:00 -0400

“

He Confesses:

I will start this by saying that I was never the worlds greatest husband, father or for that matter lover. I cheated on my wife for years, to the point that she threatened to do the same thing to me to see how I felt. I always told her go ahead but she never did, until May of 2010. My wife has always told me that she was a closet lesbian and was afraid to do anything because she didn’t know how she would be after she tried a women. She went online and met a woman and they talked for a little while but nothing happened until the woman came down to see her. Needless to say my wife has always told me that she never slept with any man until she was sure that she would be with guy for more then just a one night stand, but this woman, as my wife says her panties would fall off when she came through the door, was different.

The first night that she was with her they went and bought a strap on dick after this woman fingered her to orgasm. She even called me to ask where the sex shop was. Once my wife started letting her fuck her she stopped fucking me. This went on for almost a year. In the mean time my wife would tell me every chance she got that this woman did things to her that I could never do. That when she was with her she had an orgasm every single time but with me she never has.

I know I have problems and one of the biggest ones is that whenever my wife and I do have sex as soon as I am in her pussy I am ready to cum. Its just that fast. Even if I masturbate before hand it still happens and it really has been this way with every woman that I have been with. I can never last longer then a minute and as soon as I cum, I am done. I lose interest and don’t want to have sex again until later in the day or the next day. What can I do to prevent this from happening so that my wife does not leave me for another man or worse yet for my ego, another woman?

-anonymous

”

- There are so many answers, opinions and questions I have for this email.

First off, I applaud your honesty. A lot of people shy away from admitting their own faults in relationships and shortcomings in the bedroom. Your wife, in my opinion, has been telling you all along that she in fact wanted a woman. She was fearful of pursuing it because she knew she would love it. So let’s start there, your wife is bisexual. I wouldn’t go as far as saying she is a lesbian because she is still with you and having sex with you- a man.

You two could have solved both of your problems if you were honest with yourselves first and then one another. Your cheating was done out of need of something new, different or maybe, just like your wife, you felt a connection to other women. She is into women secretly but stays married to you…do you see the common denominator you both have in common? W O M E N. Your wife formed an emotional bond with her new friend, which often happens with women. Sexually she was not satisfied with you and by you neglecting her pleasure..she went to someone who focused on HER. Before I suggest what I THINK you two may need to consider, try this.

One day make it your job to make her orgasm, forget about you, forget about penis penetration. Stimulate her in all ways, doing this will tell you if her body is still responding to you. As a woman I can honestly tell you, once we feel neglect and forgotten it isn’t hard to disconnect physically when you have someone else giving you what you’ve needed and desired. Make a night all about four play, for her. Oral sex, body massaging, kisses and soft touches- let her know that you are there for her pleasure in that moment. If she can allow herself to climax with you, she is emotionally still there and physically you can still tap into her. If she still desires another woman, which is very likely, consider maybe a non-monogamous relationship but set your boundaries. Maybe you both will have a female friend to include in your bedroom as a couple or solo. If she shuts down on you, no matter how in tuned you are to her body…realistically, she may be fully committed to this female friend emotionally and physically. All you can do is communicate, see what she wants and needs out of the marriage, where does she see this going with her friend? would she be open to an open relationship? sometimes that is what keeps the spark in marriages. Talk…I can’t stress that enough.

Man Monday: The Mannequin Problem

Mon, 21 May 2012 13:57:00 -0400

The following post is written by a man and from a males point of view..enjoy :)

Mannequins stand in perfect image, putting off exactly what we want to see and be, in perfect condition. They have no personality and are whatever we project on them. That works great in their fake, plastic life, but real life isn’t a campy 80’s movie where these perfect images come to life and are whatever we make them. Nope, people come as they are when we receive them, which for some reason, is a huge problem for half of us, but not for the other.

Hey, this has to stop. Fellas, we’re shooting ourselves in the foot expecting this. Peep…

What are we asking for out of our ladies? Well, let me back up off of that a bit, because half of what we are asking for isn’t just of “our” ladies, it’s of them all as a whole. There’s an idea of a sexual ideal that all women should meet flawlessly. That each one we meet, and assign a standard to, is perfectly inexperienced; an unwrapped toy that is ours to play with first. No background, but possessing all the skills that you can only have with a background. Basically, we want every woman to be sexually perfect up to an unreasonable standard for what we are asking for.

See, the double standard struggle is real and it’s suffocating to women and negligent of reality. Women are no different than us wherein they are human, young, want to have fun and not be held accountable for 100% of their lives. This is no different than what we want to do. The only difference is that the standard that’s been set for sexual ethics is night and day. It’s okay for us to go out, do whatever and blame it on “being young”. There’s no recourse for what we do, just honor in the battles won really. I’ve been there; I’ve gotten respect from other men, and actually intrigue from women for it. It builds on itself and takes a man to a new social level.

But flip that script and apply it women. The Scarlet Letters would be getting handed out like Mega Millions tickets were a few weeks back. There’s some sort of weird reality that’s in play, which wants the past to live in the current. Women should remain pure and traditional, while we push the envelope further and further. Yo, this has to stop…for the betterment of everybody’s intimate world! The way it plays out is that women have to hide their sexuality and history away in order to find anything of substance, while we expect to be carried around like trophies, despite our far more dubious pasts. That’s bullshit folks, not only because it’s ridiculous in theory, but because it’s also creating an underdeveloped sexual world.

Because of this, women have to measure out what they reveal, what they do and how they go about exploring who they truly are from day one. If we as men become more open to truly embracing women that have explored their sexuality and have come to terms with it as they’ve grown, imagine how much the sexual climate, and the relationship atmosphere, could improve?

Now look, I’m not saying any of this as a license to ill or anything. Really, folks on both sides need to chill some and get a bit more focused on quality over quantity. The idea of getting a “made for you” untouched before you woman is ridiculous, so why are we expecting this? Let’s get real and get right. A more even playing field won’t do anything but make more wins for everyone. And that’s the goal, in life, right?

-via @CheapSeatFan

"@nikkitrue1 replied to your post: And I find myself here, somewhere. I saw myself in so much of..."

Sun, 20 May 2012 20:46:00 -0400

“

@nikkitrue1 replied to your post: And I find myself here, somewhere.

I saw myself in so much of this. Many don’t understand why I am sex positive or even write and talk about sex as much as I do. This is why. So another young lady of color won’t have to go through what we did. Bravo for your candor and honesty…bravo :)

”

- That is also why I have become so saturated in learning about sex education to properly teach and become a sex positive blogger. Removing shame, taboo and guilt for women of color. I’m still in the baby phase, maybe even infancy, but it’s all about attaining knowledge to grow from and share. (her reply is in response to this post).

And I find myself here, somewhere.

Sun, 20 May 2012 12:40:00 -0400

During my life I always knew my path was different and I wasn’t meant to follow the safe and methodical footprints set by others. I rebelled against my family, they rebelled against me and I broke like a twig under the pressure and became everything they wanted me to be. I floated effortlessly through college, majoring in what I knew would make my mother proud and would sound good following my name. I did everything THEY wanted me to do only for no one to notice.

At 21 I found myself at an identity crisis on every level, especially sexually. I was involuntarily forced out of my bisexual closet by being recorded by a family member who saw me and my lover at the time fighting. I came home the next day to my life on screen in front of my mother, my brother, my aunts, my religion and family moral beliefs and in turn my God. I denied it was my partner, after all I had a boyfriend at the same time, I kept saying it was a misunderstanding and that it was just a really good friend. I finally called my best friend and went to drink myself numb. I was forced to really face me, honestly.

The following weeks were beyond humiliating for me. I was ignored, no one even looked at me, I woke up to my mother trying to exorcise the gay demon out of me on several occasions and saying that a pedophile or predator did this to me..“there’s no way you’re bisexual gabriela! you are being TOLD you are by that old dyke!” (in all fairness, she was only 28). The irony in my mothers’ logic was there was a pedophile, actual a few, in my family and I was unfortunately a victim of things I am not yet ready to write in black and white yet that issue was swept under a rug. No police, no counseling, no hug…I just dealt.

Unfortunately in the black/latino community sexual abuse is so taboo that even being a victim is not allowed. In undergrad I had a group of 10 women, all of color, who I was close with. One night while watching t.v we brushed on the subject of molestation, all of us had been molested. Finding this out, someone brought up rape, 90% of the 10 women were also a victim of rape and the rape/molestation was 100% done by a family member/close family friend/friend. We wrapped up our quick conversation, turned a movie on, ordered pizza and kept our night going as if the prior conversation was about ingrown hair. It has become our norm and at 26 & a mother of a beautiful young lady ,that scares the shit out of me.

So I find myself here, sexually becoming more aware of who I am and what I want. I am becoming more comfortable with defining my norm and not feeling the pressures that society has instilled in my DNA. Labels no longer matter to me, only who I love and who loves me. It’s beyond being gay, bi, straight. It’s beyond being monogamous or poly. I am on a quest for self, retraining my thought process so that my logic is the by product of my OWN thoughts and reasoning.

I view human sexuality as a restaurant and in our society we have been told to not only go to the same restaurant but to order the same food, prepared the same way because the person to your left and right did. If you decide to mix up your order you are labeled taboo, an anomaly, slut, whore, confused, tramp, fag and any other derogatory term society can put on you to make you feel shame for being no one other than yourself. Shame makes people conform, conformity is control.

But these are just my thoughts on a beautiful sunday morning. None are complete thoughts because that’s for another day, another lesson I have to learn to better teach. I hope you enjoyed those 5 chaotic minutes in my brain but I have laundry to do.

-E.

"He asked: What are your thoughts in regards to if a man is circumcised or uncircumcised? I’ve..."

Sat, 19 May 2012 16:28:00 -0400

“

He asked:

What are your thoughts in regards to if a man is circumcised or uncircumcised? I’ve met women who said they would never mess with an uncircumcised man but messed with me never knew. I’ve never had a complaint about me being uncircumcised but I usually can hide it and they never know.

”

- It’s different, not bad or good but different. I don’t see the problem if you know how to hide it, I suppose women are just caught off guard because a lot of men are circumcised these days and it is visually different from what you’re use to.

At the end of the day…fuck me good and I’ll forget all about some extra skin. I dated one guy who was uncircumcised„ I played games with it to make him more comfortable and less awkward the first time we sexed.

How does a man "really" know if a woman of your caliber is really into him?

Sat, 19 May 2012 12:55:35 -0400

Ask her, I’m pretty blunt and straight forward. Lay your cards out..all truths no subliminals. She will see that you aren’t on BS and will be honest with how she proceeds with you.

"He Confesses: “I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19 and I only ate a women out for..."

Sat, 19 May 2012 11:08:23 -0400

“

He Confesses:

“I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19 and I only ate a women out for the first time this year and im 21 now I’ll be 22 by the end of the year.”

”

- - anonymous

Have something you want to confess? Send it to the confessional at theeroticnerd @ gmail.com

Personal File Cabinet: I loved tasting her.

Fri, 18 May 2012 01:54:00 -0400

She was 5’4 and 130lbs. We were in the same classes and interested in the same major so our bond was easily formed. She was from Memphis, Tennessee and was beyond beautiful. I knew she was bi-sexual but she was tormented, as I was at the time. Her friends knew but her father was military and my family was strict catholic. Although we both liked women sexually we avoided having sex, we loved our friendship..until the night before finals.

Let’s call her Nicole..

Nicole came over to my apartment to start our studying session, she was cramming for biology and I had a child psychology final to ace. The night goes normal, we order takeout and return back to the apartment to finish the last haul of studying for the night. Around 3am we close our books and pop in a movie to relax to while drinking margaritas.

The t.v. is on but we are so comfortable with one another we are fine just laying on the couch talking and laughing. The subject of sex comes up and Nicole tenses up a bit, she’s still a bit shy with herself. She laughs as I talk about my ex and how bad the sex was and contributes her own bad sex stories.

Some kind of way she ends up with her head in my lap, and she begins to ask if I am seeing a common friend. I know who she is speaking of but I hesitate to answer because I hear jealousy in her voice. My way of avoiding an awkward moment was to make a joke, by the time I form my mouth to say the joke Nicole is sitting up and now sitting on top of me in a riding position. It’s pretty obvious where this is going so I let her do as she pleases.

She takes off her tank top and shows her 34DD on her small frame, she’s trying her damnedest to take control of me but it’s outside of her character. So I let her finish undressing and lay her on her back. For some reason, I have a bad ass oral fixation. I get so wet while pleasing, it’s something about knowing I can control you. So I kiss her starting from her ears to her lips down to her neck. I’m using my fingers to warm her pussy up and get her ready for me. I feel how wet she is and it sends me into overdrive. I suck and lick around her nipples and lick my way down her stomach while pulling her jeans down. Kissing around her hips I notice she has a clit ring, she’s waxed and she’s pretty and pink ;)

My tongue is just beginning to dance around her clit and she’s already created a wet spot on my couch. I open her legs up as wide as I needed them to do as I wanted with her. She had a bland taste which was great! shit was like water. I opened her lips with my tongue and slid inside while rubbing her clit in a circular motion. The more she squirmed, the harder I sucked, the more I gently pulled on her lips and teased her clit ring. I kept hearing her say she was about to cum but I had no idea she was a squirter, in fact she was my first. It caught me off guard at first but it still tasted like her so I simple used my tongue to calm her down..licking slowly to clean up the mess she had made.

15 minutes later I was sitting on her face for my turn.

I aced my exam the next day, and we met up again that night.

Reader submitted story: Sex in Motion

Thu, 17 May 2012 19:24:32 -0400

The following story is NSFW and Reader Submitted:

So at some point every adult wonders about what it is like to have sex in motion. Some look to join the mile high club, some want to be the “first mate” , and some just want to back it up a caboose. Well, as most men I had the fantasy of getting road head; however mines had 1 major catch. I wanted to get road head on the autobahn, while driving at least 100 miles per hour. Call me an over achiever if you must but something about the rush of going 100 mph, on a highway with no speed limit, combined with the warm caress of a woman’s mouth around my dick, and culminating with her taking all of the juices from my manhood in her mouth while everything else is going on. WOOOWOOOOWOOOOOOO!!

As a soldier in Europe I had MANY unique sexual experiences. I have always been very open minded and decided when I got there “Hey!!!! No one knows me here. I can do what I want with no regrets”. However, that gets lonely after a while so I developed a very close bond with a couple thanks to the husband joining my frat. Little did I know upon meeting them that they were complete and utter freaks. By freaks I don’t mean the negative connotation that society has put on the word to describe anything they dont understand. I mean they were VERY open, completely sexually comfortable, and willing to explore just about any and every aspect of their sexual beings.

One night 4 of us decide to go out and do tourist things in neighboring cities. We started off at this rooftop bar in Heidelberg called Skylounge De Turm. It is a gorgeous roof top bar with a view of the Heidelberg Castle that is lit up at night. So we are all drinking and all very open so we start to talk about what any adult conversation leads to when open minded people get alchohol in them, sex. Nothing to deep, just general things we have tried and would like to try. I noticed my frat brother’s (we shall call him Gerard) wife getting noticeably horny, by the fact she had placed her hand in his lap and was slowly moving her hands up and down what seemed to be a “growth” in his pants. Lisa (the chick I was with ) noticed as well. Now I have always been a slight voyeur but something about Monica (gerards wife) doing this in the open had me so aroused I could barely control myself. I jumped up and with my drink in hand, covering penis area shuffled to the balcony outside for some fresh air. After about 15 minutes I returned to my table, but Gerard and Monica were not there. Ten minutes go by and they finally return , clearly flustered and winded, so I asked ever so meekly “Did you guys just…..?” . To which she casually responded “yeaaaahhh, sorry for the delay. Are you guys ready?” From that point on I knew it was ON!

So after a brief trip to Speyer that was filled with flirting and sexual inuendoes but was unfortunately shortened by the rain, we are all on our way back to Mannheim. In my mind I still have the image of what I imagined Gerard doing to Monica in the bathroom; which is pounding her hard from behind, with her nipple hanging out the top of her bra, pressed against the cold bathroom stall walls, taking out all the sexual tension that had built up during the conversation. I look down at Lisa’s hand on the VERY phallic shaped gear shifter and decide to replace it with the real thing. She began to stroke my man hood passionately, firmly, like she wanted it.I set my cruise control at 100 as I slipped my hand under her denim skirt and slid her panties to the side, I could feel the thunder storm building between her legs as I began to gently stroke her clit. I unzipped my pants, so that she could begin to stroke my hard, throbbing dick. She took maybe half a stroke and it was like my dick had a magnetic force that was tuned into her lips. She took me into her mouth with a zealous passion. Her mouth felt so amazing. I had to close my eyes briefly and give thanks to God.

Meanwhile I continued to play in Lisas warm, throbbing, soft, wet place. I hear Monica from the backseat delicately tell her “Use your hands while you suck him”. She quickly obeys, as I glance into the rearview mirror and see Monica watching lisa go to work on my dick, while her and Gerard are masturbating each other. Until this point I had only had 1 exhibitionist experience, and forgot how extremely turned on it made me. Lisa began to put on a show for them going faster and using more saliva with every stroke while at the same time monitoring my bodies reaction and slowing down everytime I was about to cum. I am looking in the rearview at what appears to be Monica’s large breast and small frame.(THAT WOMAN HAD A BODY) She was riding Gerard and moaning with pleasure. It briefly crossed my mind that Monica was a squirter, according to Gerard, that was fucking on my jet black leather seats. That quickly became an after thought as I realized Lisa had come across the car and was mounting me…..while I was still driving. My dick slid into her with easy due to the amount of wetness that had accumulated while everything else had been going on. She began to ride me, I slid my head to the left and leaned against the door as not to lose sight of the road, and leaned my chair back. I couldn’t thrust up like I wanted to so instead she brought her knees to her chest and put her feet on the side of my chair so that she could take me as deep as she wanted to. She began to grind me like a woman possessed. After every 3rd stroke or so she would use the head rest for leverage and slide up and down, alternating between grinding. I felt another hand on me, Monica was rubbing my shoulder while caressing Lisa’s nipples, while riding Gerards dick. Not to be out done I went to play with Lisa’s clit with my free hand. As soon as I touched her, the nectar from her passion began to gush out I caught a bit with my hand and tasted (GODDAMN IT WAS SWEET). I could tell she was beginning to cramp in her thighs so I slid Monicas hands from my shoulders to my nipples as I knew this would hasten the end of this. Seconds later, I feel the rush and tell Lisa to move. She goes back to her rightful seat in passenger side and did something she had never done before….she sucked all of the life fluid from my still throbbing, soak and wet dick. In a true strong finish she swallowed and began to suck on Monicas titties. Gerard finished shortly after that.

I will leave this story here for now because well honestly….it only gets more X-rated from here. Lets just say that from that point on the 4 of us were inseparable for years. We all still talk and are friends on some level. I must say this is by far one of the most EXCITING, fun, bestest double dates I have ever had. IF I had to take one thing from the night it was always keep an open mind. Had I judged my friends early on, not only would I have missed out on a great friendship, but I also would have probably NEVER fulfilled and exceeded my fantasy.

-Smokey House

*******************************************************************************

The Nerd: Well….damn. Tell Monica to follow me on twitter, I need an extra mouth for something

Why do women want a man with a large dick then when they get it they cant handle 50% of it?

Thu, 17 May 2012 18:59:00 -0400

Because most women say what they hear and assume it to be their own ideal. A lot of women do not know what they want because they do not know their own bodies and their limits. I prefer width to length personally, I love knowing my walls are tightly surrounding his penis and those ridges feel divine against them :)

Next time a woman says that, ask her why. If she blushes and tries to avoid the subject she is bullshitting you and probably can’t fuck properly, she has no idea who she is in bed.

My life in between orgasms

CHECK OUT THE NEW WEBSITE! BOOKMARK ME AND SUBSCRIBE!

You Don't Like Your Lips Licked?!

"So much of our time, energy, and attention is wasted trying to convince other people how wrong they..."

Sex blogging and I

The Girl Who Likes to Suck....Richard

Man Monday: Get Ya Mind Right, Get No Sheets Left

You don't own me, I'm not just one of your many toys

jeal·ous/ˈjeləs/

pro·tec·tive/prəˈtektiv/

"He asked: Ello there. this is ___ aka ________ on twitter. So i was just wondering some..."

The day I discovered my vagina and its magical button

Toy Tuesday! This weeks feature: The Fairy Wand

"He Confesses: I will start this by saying that I was never the worlds greatest husband, father or..."

Man Monday: The Mannequin Problem

"@nikkitrue1 replied to your post: And I find myself here, somewhere. I saw myself in so much of..."

And I find myself here, somewhere.

"He asked: What are your thoughts in regards to if a man is circumcised or uncircumcised? I’ve..."

How does a man "really" know if a woman of your caliber is really into him?

"He Confesses: “I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19 and I only ate a women out for..."

Personal File Cabinet: I loved tasting her.

Reader submitted story: Sex in Motion

Why do women want a man with a large dick then when they get it they cant handle 50% of it?

"He asked: Ello there. this is _ aka ______ on twitter. So i was just wondering some..."