Instead of having a recital, she was exposed to having to perform on a huge stage, in a production involving hundreds of dancers in different levels, in front of hundreds of attendees, including the owners of her school.  I don’t know what was going through her mind at the time, but I remember my kindergarten poem recital left me traumatized with lifelong stage fright.  I’m just so proud of how she performed.

She was so confident, not needing to look around to her peers to signal her next step, with a huge smile throughout the whole time she was on stage.  I was also proud of her independence when we had to leave her in the main dressing room stage area with all the hundreds of dancers so we could give our tickets and be seated.  She wasn’t afraid at all because she had made friends from practices.

While we were watching her, Perze and I looked at each other with huge smiles on our faces, knowing we were both thinking the same thing- how proud we were of her, and how much she has grown into the lovely girl that she is. We could almost see a glimpse of her potential, her talent, her joy, her ability.

We’re proud of you dearest Emma.  We know the practices weren’t easy, but you stuck through them and didn’t give up.  We know how much courage it also took to have to perform in front of everyone, esp. your family.

Sometimes I feel like it’s been longer than three years because of how she thinks and acts, how she responds to circumstances and talks, but I have to remind myself that she’s only had 3 years of life.  And in those three years, she’s definitely become her own person, so different from her older sister, yet desperately trying to imitate her. She knows all the songs Emma brings home from school, all the songs Emma has grown to love, and all the shows Emma prefers.  Zi has always been great with memorization and names, always asking “what’s her/his name?” so she knows every character in every show  or movie she watches, people she’s familiar with, all her Ates and Kuyas, Ninongs and Ninangs, cousins, Titos Titas, and even all her AND her sister’s stuffed animals that get pushed back on the shelf. 

She’s already sang in the kids choir once, once with the adult choir, and braved two special numbers with her sister, holding her own mic, and singing out the words.  She is indeed a musical girl, even trying to practice piano exercises that Emma is being taught.  She can sing on key, and when she learns a song she likes, she’ll sing it over and over until she masters the words.  Sometimes, she’ll even tell me not to sing with her so she can prove to me that she can do it herself.

At two, she learned how to use the toilet much earlier than Emma, particularly when it came to #2, and potty training her for #1 only took about 2 days.  She takes such pride when she doesn’t even require help getting up the toilet.  Sometimes I just hear her scream, “Mamam, I’m done! I went to the toilet! I’m not a baby anymore; I’m a big girl.”

At two, she learned her 1st memory verse, John 3:16, and is the first to request to pray for the food.  Also, if she’s sad or hurt, she’ll ask me if I can pray to Jesus.  She’s also a blunt reminder when I get mad at the girls, recalling that Jesus would want us to love each other and that “even when we’re mad, we still love each other.”  She’s very big on “I’m sorry”, always giving it freely if she knows she’s done something wrong, then she’ll say, “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”  That’s the discerment of my two year old. Her emotional capacity to understand feelings of others is not as sensitive as Emma, but Zi can really understand so much of the tone of her surroundings.  Also, when she feels sad, she’ll ask me to construct an original song, tending specifically to what is hurting her, and vice versa, if she feels I need some comforting, she’ll make up a song to sing for me.

I can go on and on about Zienne. She amazes Perze and I every day, with what she says, what she remembers, her behaved attitude during events (even at the ballet), being wise to ask for permission, knowing facts, reading her letters & numbers & shapes, asking questions during a movie, etc…I feel like I should have written more along the past year so she will have a glimpse of who she was at 2. And she was definitely a force at two. I can only imagine who she will be at three.

We’ll be waiting for that, anak, with such expectation and joy.  You are such a pleasure to raise, a challenge, a reward, a blessing and a reminder of God’s love.  This year, your Tatay and I will recite your life verses, the passage we picked out for you and prayed over you the day you were born:

“May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.
May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests. Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.”

-Psalm 20:1-8

We love you, Zienne. You are our heart walking, laughing, and playing outside of us, for all to see and experience. May you continue to be a blessing even at such a young age.

Happy birthday, dearest one.

Her favorite:
 
Shows: Doc Mc Stuffins, Peppa Pig, WowWowWubbzy, MickeyMouse Club House, Little Einstiens, Care Bears, My Little Pony, Veggietales, Lalaloopsie Dolls, Barney
Movie: Annie, Lilo & Stitch 2, Rio
Color: Blue
Stuffed Toy: Cream Monkey, Barney Monkey
Cereal: Honey Comb 
Food: Ketchup, Eggs, French Fries, Fried Chicken, popsicle, Lychee Jellies, shrimp chips, Avocado shakes, milk
Place: TARGET, Tita Gay’s Sunday School Class, Jollibee
Toy: iPad 
Person to talk to on the phone: her Tatay 

What she wants to be when she grows up: a Zebra
Things she says on a regular basis: “Look at me, I’m beautiful” “I miss Tatay” “I miss Ate” “I do it myself”
Most shocking things she’s said: “Fine, you don’t love me anymore.” “Ok, I’ll give you money, and you scratch my back.” “Mamam, what’s a boyfriend?”  ”Ate likes JonJon.”
First Memory Verse: John 3:16
Things she hates: being treated like a baby (using a booster seat or high chair, helping her on the toilet, being called a baby, wearing a diaper), bugs, losing to her sister, eating “Larry” (vegetables…Larry- from veggietales)

-Zienne while pretending to read a card

#2yrs

#truth #time

As a young couple, I’m always hoping Perze and I can bless people as well instead of hoarding things in our storehouse.  It’s a great reminder to take steps of faith and bless people today instead of waiting to always be blessed.

On the drive home, I was telling Perze about my burdens, questioning why people had it in them to give while other people don’t have the discernment to give back, instead, just take.  To be honest, I know love should be given unconditionally, but it still makes me feel uneasy when people want you to do so much for them without even the thought of wanting to do the same for you.  Why do people long for attention without giving attention to people who need it just the same?  

Through the years, I’ve grown to single out and appreciate the most, those who give…and I mean, those who give.  Specific names pop out, unselfish souls who are giants in generousity, the ones that humble me and challenge me to give as well.  And I’m not speaking just in money terms, but time, concern, service, gifts, company… helping a friend, being a friend, etc. I’ve seen people who don’t even have a lot, give a lot. And retrospectively, I’ve seen people who have a lot, give so little or even not at all.  

But what I’m reminded of is this- whatever we give (or what we don’t give) is not even ours to give or withhold. Everything under heaven that passes along to our path is by grace, given by God, and yes, faithful stewards we are to be, but if we’ve been blessed, we should also bless.  Selfishness is not a condition to just accept as part of our genetic makeup. Let’s face it, selfishness is a choice.

Acts 20:35
New International Version (NIV)

“In everything I did,
I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak,
remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 
‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

No pun intended, but recently, he also had challenges with his health as his doctor advised him to lose weight and diet.  To top it off, he was admitted two weeks ago to the ER for an urgent surgery to remove his gallbladder.  This, along with the previous health concerns really changed him in such a short time, changing so much of his diet, eating habits, and exercise.  For a whole week, he was forced to rest from all his commitments, even having had to miss Easter Sonrise Service and concert, and taking care of the girls and his pregnant wife .  

Through such prayer this past month, I too have grown to appreciate more God creation in Perze.  I’ve also grown (even though my regard for him so already so high) to admire his resolve for change.  In the 2 short weeks, he’s managed to stick to his diet and exercise and even lost 11 lbs. and counting.  I’m really really thankful for this 37th year that God is changing and blessing him with. Truly, God has blessed me with such a great man. I tell his daughters everyday how lucky they are to have such a loving dad who sees the best in them, who gives them so much, and shows such affection for them.  I hope one day, they will fully understand that like I do. 

We love you, Mahal.