Take that, nursing school!!!!

THF

Oh yeah!!!

THF

I had a meeting with my clinical instructor today.  I’m applying for a new grad ICU residency.  In our chat, she proceeded to take my personality flaws, lay them out on the table, chop them up, and serve them to me.  It was an impressive pile of dung!  Basically, I need to check my non-verbal cues (eye rolling, eye-brow raising, and shoulder shrugging) and work on soft skills.  Yes, folks, I’m having to grovel for references.

It’s no secret that I am a Type-A person; somehow, my  instructor has  got the impression that I’m passive aggressive. Ewwww! The thought of a passive aggressive statement makes my skin crawl.  We’ve also bumped heads a few times this clinical rotation; but I need her to give me a good reference.  Sooooo, she agreed to give me one, on the condition that I “showcase” myself.

Here’s what I came up with:

Dear Mrs. White Coat,
Thank you for taking time out of your day to have a pleasant chat with me. I appreciate your insight of my colorful personality. Oftentimes, especially in the clinical setting, we get so busy with tasks that we hardly allow the opportunity to really “see” each other. You mentioned that I verbalized a statement that seemed passive aggressive, and I can see how you may have come to that assumption. However, I must admit that passive aggressive is not a bullet point on my list of personality traits. I feel awful that you got that impression of me. Contrarily, I see myself as an open book. I have no qualms with sharing my short-comings, accepting criticism, and modifying when needed.
You recommended that I showcase myself for your reference. Here’s what I have to say:
I don’t see myself as exemplary. I don’t really care to set a standard for someone else to follow or emulate. I only want to be the best nurse that I can be. I don’t know if I will make a difference in someone’s life. I know that I will use every skill and tool in my arsenal and give it my best. I will never stop trying. I want to make my family, friends, and supporters proud. I want to continue to learn. I embrace my strengths. I am not too proud to reach out for help with my weaknesses. I accept accountability for things that I do. I hate shortcuts; they only get you into hot water. I am outspoken. If my photo were in a dictionary, it would be next to the word “advocate”. I can be very black and white. I’m learning to appreciate and accept the gray areas. I find myself on “go” a good bit. I am learning to use my off-switch. And lastly, the nursing student that I am today is merely a rough-cut version of the nurse that I aspire to become.
I hope this gives you a better look into who I am, and what I am about. Thank you again for being my reference. I really appreciate all that you’ve done for our class.
Warmest Regards,

Mrs. Grovel-grovel

I wonder what she’ll do with that pile of fluff and stuff?!

THF

My clinical instructor exhibits behaviors that the DSM IV would list as “bipolar”. I’m so happy there are only three more weeks of this shit!!!

Praise Cheezus

THF

12 weeks of nursing school left!!!

I’m on summer break. It doesn’t feel much like anything. I’ve been hiding in a hole of work and laziness. Life after each semester takes a minute to get going. It’s like this weird phenomenon of “blah-ness”. At times it feels like depression…or maybe it’s some sort of post traumatic stress disorder. I feel a little shell-shocked. Let me explain…

So, this past semester was the hardest one for me, personally. Historically, I’m the type of student that can do wonders, with just giving a little bit of effort. I’m in no way bragging; I’m being honest. I don’t know how I’ve gotten this far, with my slacker study habits. However, this last rotation really put my butt to the fire. I had WERK! I had to push myself. I went to study groups. I used a highlighter. I printed power points and made notes. I actually used up a pack of loose notepaper! I was barely passing by the third exam. I was late on my first clinical day; technically I was not late, but my instructor didn’t see it that way. I mean, I was in the building; but couldn’t find my group. There was some confusion about the meeting place…whatever. I had to learn to hold my tongue. I learned to like babies. I ended up loving babies and the whole labor and delivery process. I bumped heads with my instructor. I really respect her, and see similarities in us both. I got my shit together in time for the third exam, and blew it out of the water!!! It is now my nursing school PR (personal record). I pulled through and maintained my B average.

I’m tired. I need to decompress!

It’s no wonder I’m a little down in the dumps. I gave a lot to get over that hump. Did I mention that I worked 3rd shift, as well? Yup. I’s is Tyyyyyeeeerrrd!

THF

Love this Rob Pollak guy. He gets me!

I like running. I like the gym. I like Pilates. I kinda like yoga; but I’m not going to go out of my way to drop in on a class. It’s just not my thing. I’m not in to the “ohm-ing” and don’t even get me started on the “Namaste-ing” either. It’s not that I’ve never done yoga; it’s just not my thing. I’m a runner. I’m brutish. I’m not a Ujjayi enthusiast. I like to pant when I’m pushing myself to the limit. I can’t promise I won’t die laughing when the person on the mat next to me free-farts. I’m immature like that!

Well, after 7 years of hinting, coaxing, and bullying (not really), I finally caved and attended a “hot yoga” class with a friend. Let me tell you…it was hot ANNNNND humid. It was crowded. It was great! There were times when I felt like the roly-poly fat kid, and there were moments where I felt like I beasted that mess! Like when you do this transition from plank to low plank, and then into downward dog. It kind of felt like a burpee. 

There were also times when I felt like I was going to die. Like when my stomach started getting into it…I nearly puked. I learned that you cannot carb load for yoga as you would for a 10k! You will think about puking or maybe do something else GI evacuation related. Lesson learned. 

Yoga also made me dig a little deeper in analyzing how I have been feeding myself. I’m a nutrition slacker. I think I’m doing well with food choices; but the way I felt in class really got me to see that I can do better! I see more changes in my diet…and more yoga in my life!

How do you feel about the whole yoga thing? What can you change in your mode of nutrition?

Ponder

THF

I’m a let the first few lines do my esplainin’..