Sorry that this is late (again!). The holiday weekend has already gotten to me, I guess! But here you go, your Fuck Yeah Weekend post has arrived!

Rob falling will never not be funny.

Rob ass at the airport is always good.

RobStu is love!

Yummy.

Taylor laughs at panties.

Consider for a Halloween costume, perhaps?

Thanks for clicking! Please check out all the tumblrs over in the sidebar to see where I find this great stuff, and if you have a tumblr, follow them! I hope you liked it, and I hope everyone has a great, safe, and fun holiday weekend!

The rumor flying around the internets today is that this adorable little girl, Kayla, is “up for the role of Bella’s daughter in the new film in the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn.” MGG Model Management posted the photo on their facebook page yesterday with that info in the captions.

First comments are that maybe she’s a little too old, which was exactly my first thought too. Filming doesn’t start for awhile, and kids this age grow very fast. Other people are saying she doesn’t look anything like Rob or Kristen. I understand being disappointed by that, but come on. Were they really going to be able to find a kid out there who looks like both of them?

So what do you think?

Picture Source: Breaking Dawn Movie

(You get Eclipseward in training since he’s the closest thing to Trainerward as of now.)

I’m sure a few of you out there are already reading this. I would safely say this is one of the most popular stories in the fandom right now. Why, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you.

• *This Bella has a problem nearly everyone can relate to.
• *Trainerward. Edward as a personal trainer helping you with your workouts. ‘Nuff said about that.
• *Even though there is a small amount of angst (how could there not be, given the topic?), this story is mostly sweet fluff. If you’re reading updates for several other stories out there (*ahem* Just Wait, I’m looking at you…), then you desperately a few doses of that in your ficc’ing.
• *IT UPDATES! This story actually updates on a pretty regular basis, so no matter what happens at the end of each chapter, you don’t have to go long without an update.

So for those of you who haven’t had the luck to hear about this great story yet, read on.

Bella wants to turn her life around. She’s already lost the dead weight of an asshole husband, and now she wants to work on her health and self esteem. She formulates a goal of losing 70 pounds, all the weight she gained during her shitastic marriage.

Obviously, this is a daunting task. She’s going to need just a little help. Who steps in? Meet Trainerward.

“Hi, I’m Tanya,” she said, putting her hand out and smiling brightly. “Can I help you?”

“I hope so,” Bella replied, shaking the other woman’s hand. “I’m Bella Swan. Carlisle Cullen gave me your card.”

“Wow, I’ve only been here a couple of months, and my cuz is pimping me out all over the place,” she said, blinding Bella with her extra-white teeth. “I knew he was my favorite for a reason.”

“I was hoping I could hire you as a personal trainer.”

“Oh, jees,” Tanya said, biting her lip and looking somewhat torn. “Did you know when you wanted to get started?”

“As soon as possible,” Bella stated, figuring if she put it off any longer, she’d never do it.

“That’s what I thought you’d say,” Tanya said, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I’m completely booked for at least three months.”

“Shit,” she mumbled to herself. “Well, can I leave my number in case of a cancellation?”

“You don’t have to do that,” Tanya said, shaking her head enthusiastically, her strawberry blonde curls bouncing around her face. “We have another trainer!”

“Oh, you do?”

“Yeah, and I know he just had a cancellation recently, so he has some free time.”

“Wait,” Bella said, slightly mortified. “He? ?”

“Yeah! Edward. Here, let me call him over.” Raising her hand, she waved it over her head. “Hey! Edward!”

“Nooo,” she hissed, clamping a hand around Tanya’s arm. “Don’t do that!”

It was altogether too late. The other personal trainer looked up from whatever he was doing and, after a few seconds, started to jog over to them from the back of the facility.

“Fuck,” Bella muttered under her breath as the most perfect male specimen she had ever seen walked over and smiled at her.

Once Bella gets over her anxiety about working out in general, and Edward specifically, their relationship slowly begins to change from a professional one, to a friendship, to…something else.

As they went through the motions, Edward started to unwind a little, and she noticed he seemed less serious. As her worry for his well-being lessened, her focus on his body increased. That shirt was absolutely killing her. Every time Edward moved, the ripple of his muscles underneath the fabric, and his bare arms brushing against hers, flexing and releasing as he helped her with the harder positions, was driving her crazy.

Now, she really understood why he’d been wearing the warm-up jacket, and if she wasn’t enjoying the sight of his body so much, she’d wish he’d put it back on.

It was because he was turning her on so much that when Edward asked her in the middle of doing crunches if she’d given any thought to what her reward would be, that her true answer went sailing from between her lips before she had a chance to censor it.

“I want to get fucked,” she said while on the rise. “Hard.” Edward’s eyes nearly popped out of his head at her crude statement. She figured since the cat was out of the bag, she may as well just continue. Her words were punctuated each time she executed a body curl. “I want…one night…of raw…pure…sex…all night…every position.” Bella collapsed to the ground breathing heavy. “That’swhat I want.”

It was then that what she actually said hit her. Her legs were socked between Edward’s, his hands were on her knees to keep her stable, and he was altogether too close. She was completely mortified at her admission, and even though her face was already red due to exertion, she felt it flame even hotter as she stared up at the ceiling in utter humiliation.

“Oh God,” she groaned, throwing both arms over her face. She was too ashamed to even look at Edward. “Just…agh…can you just forget I said all of that?”

“Why?” he asked her in a low voice.

“Just ’cause,” she begged, still unable to look at him. “That wasn’t supposed to come out. It’s just been…a…really long time. And plus, it’s not like it’s ever going to happen.”

“Why not?” he asked again, his voice still low, curious, almost seductive.

“‘Cause I have no one to do it with,” she answered. Bella thought her level of embarrassment couldn’t have gotten any worse. It turned out she was wrong. Having to admit to Edward that no one would fuck her was about as rock bottom as she could get.

And then he said the one thing that made her heart completely stop.

“What if it was me?”

Yes. It’s hot. The sexual tension between these two has been slowly building, and with each update, they get closer and closer.

GO READ!

Lets Get Physical at fanfiction.net

Author Twitter

Twilighted thread

Leave Lalina a review and let her know what you think, and discuss this story in the comments!

Also on one last fan fiction note, check out the new fan fiction site Jeremy and I launched earlier this month. Every day brings new members and stories, so take a second to explore around at the stories we have already! And please continue to spread the word!

Fresh Squeezed Lemons

Hey all! It’s Fuck Yeah Friday time, even though this is actually being posted very early Saturday morning due to internet issues (Grrrr…)

You know the drill. Check out the Fuck Yeah sites listed over in the sidebar to check out the sources of this content. It’s good stuff, people.

Bella’s room decor in New Moon.

I wish I could play off tripping as well as KStew does!

The Hotness Evolution: Rob at the Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse premieres.

From queersecrets.tumblr.com

Ashley and Jackson at a Twilight Con. Adorable!

That’s all for this week! Remember to send in your submissions at twilog_whitley@yahoo.com and they’ll be posted ASAP! Have a great last summer weekend!

Our forums for our new fan fiction site Fresh Squeezed Lemons has  been launched as of a few hours ago.

You can discuss pretty much anything at the forums, Twilighted related or not. We have a section to talk about the movies, the books, the actors and of course, fan fiction.

I predict the fan fiction will be the most busy part of the forum, so if you’re an author, please come by and make a thread for your story if you want to pimp it. If you’re not an author yourself and you just read a story you want to tell people about, please feel free to come by and make a thread for that too.

We’ll still be tweaking it in the next few days, like making sure member icons show up on posts, and working on signatures.

Please take a second to visit and post something because we have like no topics started by people that aren’t me or Jeremy. It’s a little sad.

Please spread the word and let people know because the more the merrier! Thanks everyone!

Fresh Squeezed Lemons: The Fan Fic Site

Fresh Squeezed Lemons: The Forum

Dead. I am DEAD. How is he even real?

OMG that hair on his arms. I’m swooning over ARM HAIR.

Please, please, please do yourself a favor and go look at the rest of these over at Robert Pattinson Life. Open them in a new tab and see them full size. Believe me, it’s worth it.

Simon and I totally share the same expression right now.

Which pic is your favorite?

So sorry for the lack of posts this week. Jeremy and I are still busy little bees working on Fresh Squeezed Lemons, so please forgive me.

Before we get into it, let’s catch up with a little cast news. I don’t know if you heard or not, but Anna Paquin (Sookeh) and Stephen Moyer (Beel) got married! Congrats to the happy couple! You can read about their wedding here!

Also, today is Alexander Skarsgard’s birthday! So let’s all wish a Happy Birthday to the sexiets hunk of man meat on TV (Um..besides Alcide.) Check out some suit porn involving him here to celebrate!

This week, we’re going to discuss Episode 10, “I Smell A Rat”. To check out all the recaps I’ve done for past episodes in Season 3, click HERE.

The theme of this episode, I think, was confessions. Everyone was coming clean, or they really needed to and chose not to instead (I’m glaring at you, Bill Compton!).

This episode opens with a bang. Literally, the first sentence is the big reveal they’ve been building up to pretty much over the entire series.

It finally comes out that Sookie is a fairy, something I’ve known for awhile because I deliberately read spoilers online (I have no self control, really). Sookie has mixed emotions as Bill explains that she is only half-fairy (fae), and that is possible one of her ancestors was raped by a fairy in the past. If that’s wasn’t enough of a shock to process, Bill also confesses that it’s believed that fairies were wiped out of existence by vampires, due to the fact that fairy blood is so damn tasty. Finally, Sookie starts to wise up and asks Bill if this was the reason he fell in love with her. He denies it, and gives a sappy speech about how much he loves her fo’ real. I have been on Team Bill up until the last few epiosdes (um, possibly due to reading more book spoilers), and at this point, I was just like, “Wah fucking wah, Bill. Just shut it already.”

Over at Fangtasia, Eric is writing out a will with his lawyer, leaving everything he owns to Pam. Pamela Swynford de Beaufort is pissed.

Eric is a little testy himself, facing the fact that Russell (who, as we saw last episode, has clearly gone cray cray) will probably kill him in some gruesome way that hasn’t even been thought of yet. In fact, he manages to take out on poor Yvetta, who thought maybe she had a bigger role in Eric’s life than he did.

That was way harsh, Tai.

But Eric is working on a plan. You know what he’s up to when he pays a visit to Sookie and Bill.

He wants to know if Sookie’s blood will allow him to spend some time in the daylight. Bill explains that it’s only effective for a few minutes and won’t work after that. They get into it (“you are his butt boy.”) and Eric speaks the best line of the episode:

Of course, this is the perfect moment for Sookie to overhear. Bill covers his ass of course, and Eric leaves, leaving Sookie to wonder who she can really trust between Eric and Bill.

Back behind Merlotte’s, Tara and Jason are trying to pull themselves together after Franklin gets murdered…again.

Jason is freaking the eff out, flashing back to the vampire he killed in Season Two and Eggs. You can tell he’s close to the breaking point. He and Tara hastily cover up the vampire goo they left on the ground, and he brings her to his house to relax. Unfortch, Sookie and Bill are already there, making themselves at home. Just the thing for Tara’s nerves, right?

Once Bill leaves, Sookie (being the good friend she is /sarcasm) starts to lay into Tara for being so mean to Bill. Only when Tara goes through each step of what happened to her does Sookie show some sympathy and support.

While Sookie is finally acting like a normal human being toward her best friend, Bill and Jason have a man to man talk about how Jason needs to make sure Sookie stays put while he sleeps during the day.

Over at Merlotte’s, Tommy and Jessica are handling the cleanup while Arlene is glued to the TV, where cray cray Steve Newlin is dealing out the backlash against all vampires due to the Russell incident. His entire segment was the Post Mortem this week.

Steve Newlin is one of my favorite characters on the show. I think it’s because he’s so realistic. Being from the South, and Louisiana especially, I know people exactly like this in real life, except they hate minorities not vampires. I must say I thought of all those people when he got blasted in the head with the paint ball by Jason last season.

Anyway, because Arlene lacks critical thinking skills sometimes, she’s nodding along in agreement and starts to rant about vampires. Jessica, like the rest of us, is totes fed up.

Tommy is loving it. (“It gave me total wood!”)

Shut the hell up, creepster Tommy. No one cares about your boner, I promise.

Hoyt is having his own problems. Summer has cornered him in his truck, (“I was thinking, Bear…” “BEAR?!”) and unbuttoned her blouse. I fall in love with Hoyt a little more when he makes a real effort to continue looking her in the face.

At Lala’s house, some crazy shit is about to go down. Instead of bringing Crystal’s dad Calvin to the hospital, they stop by Lafayette’s house and completely cure the injuries he incurred when Sam opened up a can of whoop-ass on him last time.

Of course, he’s not thankful. He slaps Crystal across the face, and tells her that since she’s going to stay with Jason, she’s dead to him.

This episode also brought some new totally unexpected revelations about Sam. As Jeremy said when we watched this episode, “Thanks for telling us this so late in the season!”

It seems that kicking Calvin’s ass has brought back all these memories of his past life before he made his way to Bon Temps. Through flashbacks, we see he had a cute blonde girlfriend, and they made their living by stealing high class jewelry.

I knew something was up when she was trying to get him to tell her exactly how he was able to get in to steal things undetected. Turns out, I was right.

Yep, Blondie has a boyfriend, a real boyfriend. They rob Sam and leave him alone on the hotel room floor.

Because of his outburst at Merlotte’s, all his employees (except Tommy) are tiptoeing on egg shells around him. Holly, the new waitress, even goes to far to offer him some pills she scraped up (she’s a Wiccan) for his “rage”.

After a tense moment at work, Arlene finally confesses to Terry that the baby is not his. When she tells him that the baby is Renee’s child and she scared of it, Terry’s reaction makes a tear come to my eye.

He tells her that he will raise it as his own, and they will both love it so much that who the daddy is won’t matter. Terry is too good for Arlene.

As sweet as this is, Arlene still wants to ask Holly about methods of “not being pregnant” anymore. I can sympathize. Who in their right mind would want to have a serial killer’s baby?

Back at La La’s house, Jesus is getting curious about V.

Watching the effects on Calvin has made him want to try it, and he and Lafayette each take one drop. Then shit goes down.

First of all, can they teach me to dance? I need this in my life.

Then the hallucinations start.

“Mary! Go girl!”

I’ll be honest. I enjoyed the flashbacks to Jesus’s and La La’s ancestors, but I think it went on a few minutes too long. But Jesus’s creepy grandpa makes me think that some evil stuff is headed their way.

Back at Jason’s house, he’s finally confessed to Sookie about Eggs. She urges him to tell Tara, and he says he can’t. Even Jason knows if there was ever a time to tell her, it’s not now, when she’s traumatized by Franklin still.

But…later, when he’s bringing Tara a tray of food and they begin to talk about everything that’s happened to her, they share a moment.

…that turns into this:

They both start freaking out over the kiss for very different reasons. Tara, because she thought she was over him by now, and Jason because it makes him feel extremely guilty knowing what he’s done. Of course, being Jason, he tells her NOW that he’s the one who killed Eggs.

Over at Bill’s house, there’s a very ugly incident of vandalism and terrorism.

Even though no one was hurt here, this scene scared the crap out of me. I got a sinking feeling in my stomach as soon as I realized what was happening, and if there are people out there who haven’t noticed the parallels in this show to civil and gay rights, this scene should have drove that point home. I hope that people took a second to think about the fact that things like this (and way worse) really have (and are still) happening to people in real life, and it’s horribly ugly and wrong.

Speaking of ugly incidents, back to Sam’s flashbacks. He remembers going after his fake girlfriend and her boyfriend to take back what they stole from him.

Puppy Sam is adorable, and I want to pet him.

In the confusion of trying to get his stuff back, Sam semi-accidentally shoots the girl, and once he realizes what he’s done, he has to shoot the guy too to get rid of all witnesses.

FINALLY WE’RE AT THE BEST PART OF THE EPISODE!

Sookie, who was worried about what Eric meant when he was acting all cryptic earlier, slipped away from Jason while he was distracted to go to Fangtasia and ask him what’s going on. Plus, she’s had another sexy dream about him, so he was definitely on her mind.

Eric doesn’t want to talk about Bill and why she can’t trust him. He wants her to understand that there’s a very real chance he won’t be around, and he at least wants to kiss her before he dies.

So…he does. And it is HOT HOT HOT.

Yes, this is for real, and no it’s not a dream!

Do you need to see this in video form? I think you do.

Another great thing about this scene? Pam:

As you could see from the clip above, Pam wants Eric to actually DO something, not just give up to Russell without a fight.

Speaking of Russell, he’s trolling the streets looking for companionship.

It didn’t escape my notice he picked someone who looked a bit like Talbot, and I knew where this was heading.

He killed the prostitute, and then used him as a substitute Talbot so he could say goodbye the way he needed to. This scene was very sad and beautiful to me. It made me think about what it would be like to be with someone for centuries, then lose them so suddenly.

Back at Merlotte’s, Hoyt is a man on a mission. He heads straight over to Jessica and tells her he broke up with Summer and he wants to be with her.

When Jessica doesn’t give him an answer right away, Hoyt storms out, not in any mood to deal with shit. Poor Tommy found that out the hard way.

BAM! If there had been no Eric/Sookie kiss, this would have been my favorite part.

Pissed, Tommy turns into a dog and attacks Hoyt. Jessica, who just happened to be running after Hoyt to tell him ‘yes’ takes charge.

Fly away, Tommy!

Because Hoyt is so badly injured, Jessica gives him her blood and UNF. It is very sexy. We better see more from them in the last two episodes.

After Jason realized Sookie ran off, he came back from looking for her to find a very pissed Bill up in his face. Jason just can’t take it anymore and rescinds his invitation to come inside in a very dramatic way.

Fired up from that, Jason hears glass breaking in the back of the house. He creeps back to his room to find this:

So it turns out Crytal is a shifter too! I wonder if they will explore this more this season or leave it for season four?

Back at Fangtasia, Pam’s talk must have clicked with Eric. He realizes that his only chance is to use Sookie, and he has never treated another person the way he treats her. It’s time to get back to his nature and use her as a means to an end only.

Here’s a video recap of this show by HBO:

You probably already know Jaxon22 as an awesome author. She wrote the much loved story Help Wanted, and if you haven’t read it, you should. But after the new story of hers I’m writing about.

As with all my rec’s, this is rated M for sexy times. Turn around now if you’re under 18.

In the prologue of A Pound of Flesh, Bella is 9 years old and adores  her father, Senator Charles Swan. He is very much involved in causes that help those less fortunate in his city, and he passes on this dedication to help along to Bella. Tragically, while out on an outing, Charles and Bella are attacked by a group of thugs, and before Bella can be killed too, a hooded figure takes her away and keeps her safe until the police arrive.

Chapter One starts picks up 15 years later, and we find out Bella has dedicated her life to her promise to her father. She’s a teacher who has taught all over the world, but still feels she’s not keeping the promise she made to help those who really need it.

Against the protests of everyone in her life, Bella applies for a job teaching in a prison. Since the turnover at this particular prison for tutors is high and her credentials are impeccable, Bella lands the job.

Meanwhile, the reason tutors practically run screaming from their jobs here is finally introduced to us. I present Punk Ass Ward:

“Where ya been fucker?” McCarty asked with a wide smile and a slap against Cullen’s shoulder that made him wobble on his feet. “I’ve missed your punk ass face.”

“Give me a smoke and I’ll tell you all about it,” Cullen answered with a smirk, wincing internally at the force at which his hand had connected with him. Fucking Emmett…

…

“I had a slight ‘disagreement’ with one of the tutors and the shit head put me on twenty-four hour punishment.”

“Fucker,” Emmett repeated and Cullen nodded turning towards him.

“It’s on, Emmett. I shit you not.”

Emmett saw the look of determination in Cullen’s eyes, bumped his fist and smirked with his cigarette dangling from his mouth.

“Better believe it baby,” he acquiesced enthusiastically with a wink.

He would have Cullen’s back. They had known each other a lot of years both inside and outside detention and it was the least he could fucking do. Cullen had been there for Emmett on a couple of occasions on the outside, saving his ass both times. Yeah, if Cullen needed him, he would be there, especially if it meant getting that Newton prick and wiping the smile of his butt ugly face.

They both turned quickly – their heads snapping with a sharpness only achieved by long sentences of incarceration with fuckers who could be sly and quick – when they heard a loud bout of whistles and jeers from the court.

Emmett snorted and smiled. “Talking of tutors,” he muttered as he cocked a satisfied eyebrow.

Cullen followed his stare across the court and through the fencing, to see a small brunette with the tightest ass he had ever seen, wrapped in a black, knee length pencil skirt, scuttling quickly across the car lot towards a sweet Mini Cooper. Her pale legs looked awesome as they disappeared into a pair of black heeled shoes that, even from Cullen’s viewpoint, screamed hard sex.

Fuck me…

“Who the fuck is that?” he asked, trying to hide the fact that he was craning his neck to see past the other inmates who were milling around the fence like kids at a zoo, blocking his view. Bastards…

“That is Miss Swan,” Emmett answered with a slow sigh as he leaned his elbows back on the table behind him and crossed his legs at the ankles, “The new Lit tutor. She’s cool actually. I had my first session with her today.”

…

“Well, at least that’s a plus,” Cullen muttered as he put his cigarette out on the bench beside him.

“What?” Emmett asked with a frown.

“The tutor…” he waved his hand towards where the Mini had disappeared. “Miss…”

“Swan,” Emmett finished for him.

“Yeah, Miss Swan,” he acknowledged. “That’s one good thing about me doing Lit.”

*Sigh* Oh, Punk Ass Ward. This is how I picture him:

*melts*

Even though there has not been a lemon yet (between Edward and Bella at least), this story is EFFING. HOT. When it finally does happen, my computer will probably explode from the sexiness of it.

I just found this story this week, and I loved it so much immediately that I read it until I finished at 9 in the MORNING. On a week day. Yes, I could hardly see when I was done, and yes, it was totally worth it. I almost peed myself when this updated yesterday too, so to say I’m interested in what happens with these characters is putting it very lightly.

So if you’re looking for another good story to add to your updates list, this one needs to be next. Go read and and leave some good reviews because jaxon22 deserves it!

Links:

A Pound of Flesh on fanfiction.net

Author Profile on fanfiction.net

Twilighted thread for A Pound Of Flesh

P.S– Just in case you haven’t heard yet, we have launched a new fan fiction site at FreshSqueezedLemons.com. Please check it out, and if you’re an author, please consider uploading your work with us because we need authors and stories to get the readers! Thanks very much!

It’s finally Friday, so that means it’s Fuck Yeah Friday time! I hope you all had a great week, and you’re ready for some gifs and funnies!

Team Charlie’s mustache

Now that is dedication, people.

I want a bear hug from Rob!

The macros below are from a new site called LOL Pattz, which will be added to the Fuck Yeah sites over in the blogroll because it is pretty cute and funny.

And to finish the week off, here are some more funnies from Stephani, who has an entire album of funnies on her profile at Twifans! Check them out!

That’s all for this week! You can always send stuff in if you want it to be posted here next Friday. Just email it to me at twilog_whitley@yahoo.com and it will be posted next week with full credit to you!

Also, please stop by freshsqueezedlemons.com. We’ve been working hard on it all week, and I’m eager to know what people think! Be sure to spread the word if you a part of a fan fiction community or you know any authors because we need more stories. Thanks so much for being awesome readers!

Unfortunately guys, I did not have time this week to sit down and write out my True Blood recap for y’all. And trust me, I’m PISSED because this episode was truly one of the best in the entire series. Jeremy and I have been staying up until 3 in the morning every day this past week in order to get Fresh Squeezed Lemons.com launched, so there really was no way I could spare 4 hours to do it this week.

BUT, I won’t leave all my Trubies completely high and dry this week. I just read an amazing recap over i09 that goes into pretty good detail, so even if you missed the episode, you’ll be caught up.

Here’s a sneak peak (NSFW):

Con: Sam walks into his brothers naked party and asks him if he’s high? This is what you ask him? How about, “Hey. Could you stop waving your pubes at me?”

Seriously Tommy. Put it away before you hurt someone.

Check out the rest of the recap HERE and enjoy the awesome blingee at the end!

Also, to find gifs from this episode (you know you want some from that ending!), find them at chapmangrl.livejournal.com and truebloodgifs.tumblr.com

Here are some goodies I found other places that I planned to share:

RIP TB characters!

True Blood recaps will be back to normal for the next episode!