*UPDATE* I’m posting the video here (from youtube) so people can watch it here and not on x17, giving them more clicks. I decided to post it so people could choose to watch if they need to see how serious this was. But please be warned that it may be difficult to watch.

Heartbreaking.

Ugh. I wanted to throw up when I heard about this today.

I’m not going to post the pictures, but I will link to the x17 post in case you haven’t heard about this yet. If you have, please don’t click it again so they don’t get even more traffic.

Here’s the story so you don’t have to click the link if you don’t want to support the people evil enough to do this to someone for money.

Last night, Rob left a party in Malibu, California. He was swarmed by paps as soon as he left, and after getting in his car he tried to drive off and accidentally hit two cars around him. Instead of getting out and leaving insurance info, he left the scene by driving away. (In my opinion, it’s not cool for him not to leave a note at least, but why would he want to get back out of his car and be harassed even more? Also, after watching the videos, it seems to me like he just tapped the cars, and x17 is trying to make it out like he left behind hundreds of dollars worth of damage. PUH-LEZE.)

The photographers followed him down the highway, and after nearly a half hour of them not leaving him alone, he stopped his car, got out, and yelled at the paparazzi following him. After that probably only excited them more, he back in his car and drove away again.

This story would be horrible enough, but what happened next takes this into “makes-me-psycho-with-rage” territory.

He was still being followed (no doubt this made it unsafe to drive. I have watched pap videos of Britney Spears before and it’s a miracle from God that no one has ever been killed in a car crash), so when he saw some police cars parked by the side of the road, he stopped, got out, and asked the police for help while the paparazzi (and normal people with camera phones who saw the commotion) swarmed behind him, flashbulbs going off over and over.

AND THE POLICE TOLD HIM THERE WAS NOTHING THEY COULD DO.

Yes, that’s right. They told him there was nothing they could do, even though he was obviously being harassed. Even though these photographers following him had probably been driving like they were in Grand Theft Auto in order to take his picture, endangering him and others on the road. Even though these people were basically actively TRYING to piss him off even further to get a reaction for the camera. At the time I’m writing this, in between photos of Rob being harassed, they have a caption under one gleefully proclaiming, “VIDEO COMING SOON!”

The link is here, but please don’t click it unless you absolutely feel you have to.

This is undoubtedly disgusting. Rob is not the first celebrity they’ve done this too, and he’s no where the last. Hollywood is a business, first and foremost, and celebrities are only products, packaged for our consumption to make money. The paparazzi are an integral part of that machine, so unless something drastic happens, this kind of behavior on their part is here to stay.

Now before some asshole out there comments saying, “They got into acting, they knew this would happen, they asked for it.” (you know who you are), I’m not saying that ALL paparazzi attention is bad. They usually gather at movie premieres or other red carpet events, and I don’t think there’s really anyone out there who would object to that. There are also the usual paparazzi videos and shots found almost everywhere, where people can watch Britney make a quick run to Starbucks, or Kim Kardashian shop on Rodeo Drive. Those particular situations CAN turn scary very fast, but normally you can see the celebrity looks amused by the photographers, and maybe even engages them in conversation before the paparazzi decide they have their clip or the shot, and they leave the person alone. TMZ even has a TV show FULL of their cutesy little interviews with celebs while they capture them on film going about their business.

The things I described above are one thing. Swarming someone as soon as they step out of the door, moving in as a group with bright bulbs shining in their faces to make them feel disoriented or trapped, then doing everything possible to get a reaction out of them for your camera is entirely another. It’s not only dangerous to the celebrity, the paparazzi themselves, and any one who just happens to be there in the wrong place at the wrong time, it’s incredibly brutal and cold to do this to someone just so you hope they react in a defensive way so you can get more money for the tape.

Everyone should remember what happened to Princess Diana, because it certainly can and probably WILL happen to someone one else.

After reading about this (or seeing the pictures), you probably feel completely disgusted about what happened to Rob (and what happens to other celebrities every day). So what can you do?

It’s pretty much impossible to cut paparazzi photos completely out of your life. They’re shown on TV, they are reposted on websites, they are staring out of the tabloids while you pay for you shit at the grocery store. All of that is nearly unavoidable, but here are a few steps you can take so you don’t support this crap with your dollars.

First of all, don’t buy a tabloid ever again. They are among the top buyers of pap photos, and they usually use them in such horribly misogynistic features like, “Celebrities Without Makeup!” or “Celebrity Bikini Bodies! Who’s 25 and already has cellulite?”

Don’t go to TMZ, Perez Hilton OR X17.com when you’re surfing the web. If you see a link to them on another site, don’t click it. Every time you don’t click, that’s some ad revenue they lose. Save your clicks for better things (like Twilog!)

Stop watching E! News, The TMZ show (I don’t even know what it’s called), or other celebrity news shows. They reshow and replay photos and clips for days (those damn Mel Gibson tapes are EVERYWHERE, and I never wanted to hear them in the first place).

If everyone who was tired of celebrities being treated like this took these steps, there would be no money in it anymore and it would stop happening. Unfortunately, this will most likely not happen anytime soon, but every person who DOESN’T consume this crap is part of the solution.

For a few more online resoucres and organizations you can contact to find out what else you can do, please check out Thinking of Rob. They did an excellent post today on what happened and what we as fans can do about it.

Hey guys! It’s time again for our weekly post, Fuck Yeah Friday! Take a second to check out the Fuck Yeah sites listed over in the blogroll, AND special announcement! We are adding a new site to the Fuck Yeah list:

Fuck Yeah Billy Burke!

Thanks to stringsofviolets.tumblr.com for having the brilliant idea of creating this tumblr, and I’m glad they have filled this hole in my life.

On to the rest!

I think that sexy as hell gif is a perfect way to close the post, don’t you?

If you want to send me something to post here next week, send it to me at twilog_whitley@yahoo.com, and it will be posted with your name next week. Keep your eyes peeled for good funnies or gifs!

Just in case you hadn’t noticed by now, all episodes of the show are named after songs. The song and episode title for this week is “Trouble”. (I prefer the Elvis version over the version they had playing in the credits, but that’s just me.)

If you want to check out our other episode recaps from this season, then

Episode 1: Bad Blood is HERE

Episode 2: Beautifully Broken is HERE

Episode 3: It Hurts Me Too is HERE

Episode 4: 9 Crimes is HERE

This episode is my favorite of the season so far. It was SO made of win, in nearly every scene. I laughed, I almost cried, and like always, I have a whole bunch of new questions that need to get answered.

Franklin is making Tara comfy while they wait for the King (read: tying her to a chair) to get back, and Talbot is just a tad bitchy about it. Right as fangs are bared, King Russell, Bill, and Lorena come back, fully satisfied (and messy) from their dinner. On seeing each other, Tara and Bill have very different reaction faces.

While Franklin goes to give the King the dirt he found when snooping in Bill’s house, Tara takes her chance and asks for Bill for help. He refuses and walks away.

Lorena’s face. What a bitch.

In the King’s study, we find out that Franklin has given him the mysterious file that Bill had keeping on Sookie, complete with stalker pictures and a family tree.

King Russell berates Franklin for kidnapping “another girl”, so we find out he has a history of being a complete creeper. When Franklin tries to defend his “relationship” with Tara, it’s kinda sweet (if you forget about the whole kidnapping thing).

“She’s such a fucking disaster! We could be twins. The attraction is e-lectric.”

Up in the hallway to Bill’s room, Lorena is STILL coming on way too strong. Before shutting the door in her face, Bill calls her a “tiresome cow”, which is now my most favorite insult ever.

Sookie and Alcide (who is still sexy as FUCK, in case you were wondering) are safely away from the were bar and the phasing crowd. Alcide is freaking out with anger over what Debbie just did, and Sookie screams at him to slow down.

“I am NOT gonna die because of your shitty girlfriend and a Mississippi pothole!”

Alcide stops the vehicle (it looks like they are in a moving van? Why?) and explains that Debbie wasn’t always so cray cray. When he was reminiscing about their realtionship, it was the first time I actually believed they used to be together. He is just beyond way too good (and sexy) for her.

Sookie then decides that Russell must know where Bill is, and she’s got to talk to him. Alcide refuses, and tells her that Eric would’t approve either.

Speaking of the sexy devil, Eric shows up at the King’s mansion. Talbot is delighted.

“Hell-oh! Have we met?”

Over a candlelit dinner, Eric asks permission to hunt in Mississippi for Bill, who he explains has been selling V back in Louisiana. The King says, “Let’s ask him.” and Bill walks in. Suddenly, Eric is caught in a lie.

The King tells Eric that they already know that Queen Sophie is behind the V, and that Eric was the one responsible for selling it for her. When Eric finds out that Bill is there in Mississippi willingly, Bill has to admit that “Sookie is no longer mine.”

Eric explains that he lied to the Magister to protect his Queen, and that if he doesn’t turn Bill in, then Pam will be killed. The King tells him he will figure it all out, and offers Eric a place to sleep for the day.

Sookie wakes up to hear Debbie and Alcide fighting loudly. She sneaks in to hear Debbie screaming that if Russell knew that Alcide had been in Lou Pine’s and seen the ceremony, he would be killed. When Debbie sees Sookie, all hell breaks lose and a (shirtless!) Alcide has to hold Debbie back. Sookie takes that moment to ask her about Bill, but can tell from her thoughts that Debbie has no clue what’s happening with Russell and Bill.

And just because:

Back at the mansion, Franklin is lovingly tying Tara to a bed, and she’s dressed in a very romantic nightgown. It seems that Tara has finally decided to play along with Franklin’s craziness, and she pretends that she is delighted to be there with him.

Franklin- “Even when I’m away from you, I can feel your flesh molded to me. That’s how close we are now.”

Tara- *trying not to cry* “That’s really sweet…”

When Tara gets a text message from Lafayette (“Bitch, where are you?”), Franklin immediately gets jealous and nearly strangles Tara before she can tell him he’s her cousin, and he’s gay. Franklin tries to figure out a reply:

“How ’bout um, ‘I’m busy bitch’?. No ‘bitch’, he wrote ‘bitch’. Too many ‘bitch’. ‘Hooker’? In his other messages, he calls you ‘hooker’. No, ‘Hookah’.  That’s a water pipe!”

They decide on “Trust me, motherfucker.” as a reply, and Franklin is hilarious when he says, “Hey Tara. Watch how fast I type ‘motherfucker’.”

Jason shows up to the Bon Temp police station, showered and ready for work!

Andy gives him a desk, which he is not too pleased about (“I wanna get out in the field. It’s where I shine!”) and Kenya knows something is up.

Sam helps his family move in to one of the empty houses he rents out, and he senses some major hostility from his younger brother Tommy towards Joe Lee.

Something is defintely up there.

Always the comic relief, Terry Bellefluer pulls up in his truck and gets emotional when he tells Sam he’s moving in with Arelene.

It’s pretty adorable.

Alcide decides he has to tell the “packmaster” (the alpha of the group) about what happened in Lou Pine’s and Sookie tags along.

Back at the station, Kenya is having a fun time messing with Jason.

“File that for me, will ya babe?”

Left to his own devices, Jason plays paperclip limbo and fingerpaints with the fingerprint blotter.

When Andy sees what a mess he’s made, he tells him he has a “special assignment”, just the thing to keep Jason occupied.

Back at the mansion, during the day while all the vamps sleep, Tara has manged to free herself from the ropes and sneaks out of the mansion and out in to the yard where she takes off running.

Suddenly, a wolf howls and begins chasing her. It knocks her over, then it phases back into human (turns out, it’s Cooter), and she’s captured once again.

At Merlotte’s, Tommy and Lafayette are on their break, smoking cigars when Jesus (who you will remember as Lafayette’s mother’s hot as hell nurse at the old folks home) shows up.

Lafayette immediately thinks that something happened to his mother, but Jesus tells him everything is alright there. He’s just there to see Lafayette. He just wanted to come ask him out to a movie. This is the first time all series that we see Lafayette all flustered and nervous! And who wouldn’t be. Jesus is FINE.

When Lafayette explains he has work that day and he doesn’t get off until 11, Jesus says he’ll wait for him.

Alcide has met with the packmaster and explains all about Russell and his involvement with the pack that is addicted to V. He expects some help from his superior, but this guy just says theres’s nothing they can do since Russell is the King and has had were’s working for him for centuries. His plan of action is just to lay low until Russell gets bored. Sookie listens to his thoughts and finds out that the packmaster is really just completely terrified.

Back at the station, it turns out that Jason’s super important special assignment is washing the patrol units. As a extra special treat, he’s shirtless!

While he’s complaining about his task, he notices a girl in a truck driving by. He remembers this girl as the one he saw crying in the woods before he busted the drug dealer, and decides to go after her.

He uses the lights and sirens to pull her over, and realizes, “Now what?” He digs in the glovebox and comes out with these:

In nothing but cop glasses (aviators) and pants, he walks up to her window and asks for her license and registration, and she refuses.

“Are you resisting me?”

He says he’s not a cop quite yet, and she starts her truck to leave, “since your a fake cop!”, but she does tell him her name is Crystal. He asks her to meet him at Merlotte’s later that night, and she yells that she can’t as she drives away.

At Merlotte’s, Jesus is still waiting on Lafayette, Tommy is having a good first night at work, and Arlene is still a prejudiced beotch. She tells Jessica she will never look her in the eye because “I don’t care to be hypnotized, and apparently that is what you walking dead people like to do!”.

Jessica gets her revenge when the next customers come in. Before she seats them, she “glamours” them and says, “Whatever happens, do NOT tip your waitress. Do NOT.”

As she’s seating them, Hoyt walks in, and he’s on a date with another girl!!

I actually gasped out loud. I can’t believe they are doing this to my most favorite couple on the show!

While Jessica is struggling not to get upset, Tommy comes over and tells her that “he’s Little League”, and “You’re the majors”.

I swear to the Lord, if they get Tommy and Jessica together, I’m going to be so P.O’d. She and Hoyt just belong together!

Tommy gets a call from Joe Lee, interrupting his little flirt fest with Jessica. Joe Lee starts screaming for him to come home immediately, and Tommy just hangs up.

Again, something really weird is definitely going on there.

Back at the mansion, Franklin is beside himself about Tara’s escape attempt. He really has no idea why she would try to leave him. “You’re afraid of me?! That’s insane!” He cries. Like, full on sobs.

Tara realties again that this dude is completely unhinged, and in order to survive, she’s going to have to play along. She asks him to forgive her, because she’s not scared of him, but “It’s the other vampires. They’re the ones who scare me.” I love the look on her face when she tells him this.

In his office, the King is finally asking Bill about the file, who is pretending he’s never seen it before. Russell shows him the family tree with certain names circled, and explains that he thinks that Bill is trying to track telepathy in Sookie’s family history, but he doesn’t know exactly why. Bill still doesn’t admit to anything, and Cooter comes in to ask to speak to the King in private.

At Merlotte’s, Jason is waiting in a booth, looking out the window for Crystal when Andy comes in and sits down with him. He tells Jason that he pulled strings and all Jason has to do to become a cop is take a physical and the written exam. This, coupled with the knowledge that Crystal isn’t going to show, Jason is discouraged.

Cut over to pool tables, and Lafayette and Jesus are about to start a game. Lafayette still can’t seem to believe that Jesus actually wants to spend time with him, and might actually like him.

UNF. Go Lafayette! Get it, hooker.

Tommy asks Sam if he can spend the night with him for, “Ya know, brother time.” Sam agrees, as long as Tommy tells his parents. He says he will, but Sam knows he doesn’t want to tell them for some reason. Sam finally asks Tommy just what the hell is going on with all them, but he gets no answer.

In the mansion, Bill has been led up to his room while Cooter and the King talked downstairs. When Cooter comes in to Bill’s room, Bill is instantly ready to fight. Cooter tells him the King is tired of being lied to, and top of that, he knows something else. “This is sexy good news, Bill. You’re gonna love this.” (I have decided to add “sexy good news” to my vocabulary, and I suggest you do the same).

Cooter takes great delight in telling Bill that Sookie “is fucking a werewolf! Right here in Jackson! Suck that dick!” Bill instantly freaks out and attacks him, beating him to pulp and again bringing back the line he says in nearly every episode at some point, “Where is Sookeh?”

The vampire guard outside the door hears the comotion of an ass whooppin’ happening inside and bursts in to find Cooter almost pulverized. He runs in to help him, and Bill grabs the guard and holds his face against the metal doors, turning the vampire’s face into sticky mush. Gross.

Jason is about to get in his car to leave Merlotte’s when he sees Crystal walking around the parking lot. She tells him she tried to go in, but couldn’t make herself do it. She shouldn’t be there, and she just can’t be with Jason and can’ t tell him why. Jason asks her to take a walk with him, then cut to them making out in a romantic secluded spot.

In between kissing, Crystal tells Jason that “There is no forever for us. It’s only now.” Normally, you think Jason would be ok with this, because he usually goes through women like Kleenex. But inexplicably, he’s bummed out.

We finally see Eric again (who should always wear light blue, tight shirts, don’y you think?)

as he comes upon the King rushing out of the mansion on another mysterious errand. Eric offers his help, but the King tells him to just hang out with Talbot instead until he gets back. When Eric reminds the King about Pam, the King becomes a little cross and says, “All in good time, Eric.”

Lorena walks downstairs and sees Eric, saying, “You.” She and Eric have a bit of a stare down (weird?) until Talbot breezes in and takes Eric away. “Boys only.”

Sam and Tommy are at Sam’s house, and “brother time” apparently means Animal Planet and beer. They hear a commotion outside, and then a pounding on the door. Sam goes to open it, and Tommy begs him not to. When Sam does, Joe Lee bursts in, fighting Sam to get to Tommy. He’s screaming that he owns him “head to tail”, and Sam manages to fight him away and get him back out the door.

Joe Lee calms down a bit and explains his behavior away by saying he’s drunk before he slinks away. Panting, Sam turns to Tommy and asks what we are all thinking by this point, “What the fuck was that?”

Tara, still in her old timey nightgown is sitting at the elaborate dining table in the King’s mansion, crying over a plate with a giant flower on it. Franklin comes in and is alarmed by her tears. Tara struggles to keep him calm, and still playing along, explains to him that she’s hungry, but she can’t eat a flower.

At first, I was a bit confused why she would be served a flower, but then on another TB discussion I was reading, someone explained that this is Talbot’s big F U to Tara. He’s serving her something a cow would eat because he wants to convey that he thinks of her (and Franklin too) as no more than an animal. This is why Franklin got so pissed.

He immediately shifts gears, telling Tara, “God, you are sexy.” Rolling with the change in his mood, Tara explains, “I’m into you. Like, really into you. But if we’re going to be together, you have to remember that I’m alive! I have needs, like food!” Talbot begs for her forgiveness and wants to take her some where special for dinner, like Shoney’s! (If you’ve ever been to a Shoney’s, you understand the look on Tara’s face here.)

Then he busts out with, “We’ll celebrate your last night as a human!”

“Will you be my vampire bride?”

Meanwhile, during Eric’s grand tour, Talbot is showing him the antiques he and Russell have collected over the centuries (like Japanese vampire erotica from the 16th century). Talbot tells Eric that Russell collects so many things because he takes what he wants as soon as he sees it, and he’s the same way about people. This is meant to be a warning to Eric personally, but it has new meaning after the next few minutes.

Before Talbot shuts the display case, Eric notices a crown. He picks it up to examine it, and Talbot dismisses it as a “random tribal crown”. Eric looks at it intently, and then the scene dissolves into flashback.

He remembers when the very crown he was holding belonged to his human father, a Viking King. We get to see how even human Eric was an insatiable horndog;

who refused to learn any responsiblity or how to be King. He dismisses his father’s concern with a “Tomorrow.”, then goes to get busy with a servant girl. Hot.

During his romantic interlude, he hears screams from his family. He rushes in to find his mother and little sibling dead, and his father being attacked by a wolf. One tries to attack him, and he stabs it dead. At that point, the wolf phases back into a dead human, and Eric notices the strange brand on his neck.

The wolf who attacked his father follows an order to “Bring me the crown” given by a cloaked figure standing outside in the snow. Eric runs to the door in time to see the figure walk away, talking the surviving wolf with him.

Eric holds his father while he dies, and his last words from his father name him King, and give him an eternal goal of vengeance.

Back is Mississippi, Sookie is asleep when she hears Alcide call her from the front room. She walks into the room to see…

BEEL! (I’m not going to lie, I almost cried!)

After she jumps into his arms, he tells her she needs to leave immediately, and that it’s too late to save him. Before he can explain why she has to go, Cooter and the guard Bill attacked earlier burst in. Before Bill and Alcide can do anything, The King walks and tells Cooter to grab Sookie. When he finally gets a hold of her, this happens:

The King  starts to laugh with joy as Cooter flies across the room, and then…

END SCENE!

I said it up top, but I’ll say it again. This was my favorite episode so far. The scenes with Jason were completely hilarious, I LOVE Lafayette when he has a crush, and Tara’s story line is about to get way more interesting, I think.

What was your favorite part? What do you think will happen next week?

All gifs from chapmangrl.livejournal.com, and all screen caps from Scifi.rawr-caps.net

Hey guys! It’s time for another Friday dose of funnies and gifs! Take a second to check out all the Fuck Yeah sites listed over in the blogroll since that’s where I find the majority of the stuff posted here!

I love Rob in that gif. I lol’d forever watching it over and over.

And last but not least, here’s a photo sent to me from Raffinee from Rob’s old modeling days! Even if you have seen this before, it’s still good for a laugh.

Thanks for submitting Raffinee! If you want to send me something to be posted here, email it to me at twilog_whitley@yahoo.com.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

I don’t know if anyone will have any idea of what I’m talking about, but here goes. When I was 6th grade (back in 1999), “fine” was the like, the ultimate compliment when it came to boys. My best friend and I used to sit in my room with the yearbook out, and we would spend forever flipping through the pages and labeling the boys I liked in my class as “He is so fine!”

I think this word needs to come back in to my life, so here goes. Taylor Lautner looks so effing FINE on the set of his new movie, Abduction. He should seriously ride a motorcycle everywhere.

And a few more from today…

Those jeans are…very nice. I have no idea what this movie is about, but I will be going to see it.

See more of Taylor on set here and here!

Some new set pictures from Rob’s film Water For Elephants were released yesterday and now it’s official. Now that I know how hot he is in a tux, we must be wed. Immediately.

There a ton more of these, and you can see them over at Thinking of Rob HERE and HERE!

DAMN it was a long two week stretch there with no True Blood! I didn’t think I was going to make it. Thank the LAWD it finally came back!

Sorry this was not posted on Monday. I just finished one 5 week semester of math, and I just started another one today. Bear with me, guys!

So, the episode opens with Sookie tending the bar fight wounds on a SHIRTLESS ALCIDE. Let me repeat: SHIRTLESS ALCIDE!

UNF! Can I oil his chest for just like, 5 seconds? Please?

After his cray cray head-turning sex with Lorena:

Bill calls to break up with Sookeh, and DAMN, y’all. Edward Cullen’s breakup speech is practically an effing Hallmark Card compared to Bill’s. That was way harsh, Tai.

One thing I noticed during the break up? Sookie is an ugly crier:

And I love this. I’m tired of actresses crying prettily when something tragic happens. No one in real life looks hot crying.

After the horrible abrupt break-up call, Alcide, (who is still SHIRTLESS!), comes over to comfort Sookie.

Cry on his naked chest, Sookie. You deserve it, girl.

When the sexual tension in the room becomes too much, he says, “At least let me put on a shirt.”, and suddenly I’M the one crying my eyes out.

Sam chases his little brother turned burglar out of Merlottes, and happens on his parents sleeping in their van parked in his lot. Turns out that they got kicked out of the crappy place they were living before, and now have no where to go.

At Sookeh’s house, Tara is being glamoured by Franklin, and spills her guts on Bill and Sookeh. She tells him that Sookie is in Jackson looking for Bill, and Franklin makes her call her there to try to find out her exact location. When that fails, and Tara tries to get away, Franklin finally bites her.

In Bill’s room, Lorena is still not getting the hint. At this point, I actually feel a little sorry for her. She reminds of the person who just won’t let go after a break up, except to millionth power. I’m really tired of seeing her character get abused over and over, it’s pretty pathetic.

Cut to a building somewhere. Eric is floating  sexily outside Sookeh’s hotel room window. She lets him in, and this happens:

But then it was just a dream. Fuck. I was more than a little disapointed that this wasn’t real. Seems like Eric was too.

I’m not going to lie. Now that Bill has removed himself from the picture, I really wanted Eric and Sookeh to hook up here. That needs to happen ASAP!

Back in Mississippi, Sookeh decides she is still going to search for Bill, just in case he was being forced to say those things to her and he needs help. Alcide does not agree, but reluctantly decides to help her out, especially since this will involve him seeing his ex, Debbie Pelt.

Cut to Lafayette in his brand new ride. He calls up Tara…

(Download the “ring, ring hooker” mp3 here! I already have it as my text tone!)

…to tell her about his new car, but she doesn’t pick up.

We then see that Franklin has kidnapped Tara from Sookie’s house and she’s now alone in dingy hotel bathroom, duct taped to the toilet.

Alcide’s sister Janice comes over to get Sookie’s disguise ready so she can scope out the were bar, Lou Pine’s again. I am immediately jealous of Janis’s glamorous beauty.

Take it from someone who knows: In parts of Louisiana, looking like an 80’s video girl is the height of fashion.

When Sookeh listens to Janice’s mind, she finds out that Debbie is actually getting initiated into the crazy werewolf gang that her new fiancée Cooter (who will remember as one of the wolves assigned to kidnap Bill) is a part of.

At Merlotte’s, Jason has a hilarious run in with the high school quaterback when his loyd drinking interrupted Bud’s retirement party.

“Yeah, well 10 years from now, there’s gonna be a version  of you, 10 years younger, doing the same thing to you. Then who you gonna be?

“…What?”

“Yeah. That’s what I thought.”

Back in Mississippi, Alcide is impressed by Sookeh’s disguise.

They head to the bar.

Meanwhile, Bill and the King discuss strategy against Queen Sophie. Bill tells the king that he will help him, as long as Lorena is disposed of. The King agrees (sort of?), so Bill then spills the beans about Eric selling V for Queen Sophie so she can stay rich. The King decided to pass along that info to the Magistrate, if you remember was sniffing around Fangtasia in the first episode.

Franklin comes back to the hotel room where he left Tara, and hey look at that! He brought her some flowers! How sweet! It was super romantic when he duct taped them to her hands (/sarcasm).

What a creepster.

Sam brings on Jessica on as hostess at Merlotte’s to try to help Arlene with the work load, where she happens to look adorable in the uniform.

Arlene throws a fit. “People love giving redhead’s tips! And I’ve always been the only redhead at Merlotte’s, SA-YUM!”

Jessica runs into an old church buddy who is super excited about bringing her home to her parents. He praises Jesus and everything.

Lafayette tries to sell some V to the meth dealers that Jason helped bring down earlier. They decide not  to do any business dealings with him, and things turn sour pretty quick.

On his way into Merlotte’s, Hoyt sees Jessica glamouring her former friend behind the bar. But from far away, this looks like a pretty cozy conversation, and he’s pissed. I haz a sad, because I NEED them to get back together!

Like I was hoping, Eric swoops in and saves Lafayette from the methheads.

Eric defintely brings the lols here. “I’ll kill all your brother-cousins”, and “Let’s go Ru Paul.” are instant classics.

Tara and Franklin are taking a drive, and he tells her they are headed to Mississippi. And yep, he’s still insane.

On his way home after work, Sam sees a naked Tommy asleep on the ground. He brings him his clothes, and they have a deep convo about their fucked up parents. Tommy expains to Sam that he could never leave them, no matter what, because they need him so they can survive.

In Lafayette’s hot new ride, Eric gets a phone call from Pam telling him that the Magistrate is raiding Fangtasia, and he’s found the V.

After she hangs up, Eric flies out the car window while Lafayette is talking. Don’t you wish you had the power to get away from people that fast?

In the men’s room at Merlotte’s, Jason basically blackmails Andy into making him a cop, now that he’s Sheriff. I’m thinking that this is going to blow up in his face soon. Poor Jason never has success with anything!

After his talk with Tommy, Sam tells his parents he will give them a place to stay as long as they dont drink or steal anymore, and they agree. I think this is gonna end badly too.

Franklin and Tara finally arrive, and it turns out they are at the King’s mansion!

Talbot isn’t happy with Tara, who he thinks is Franklin’s gift to him.

“Is this for me? It’s skinny.”

At Lou Pine’s, Sookie and Alcide make it inside. She does some shots (“FUCK yeah!”):

with the guy who tried to assult her last time when she’s confronted by Debbie, Alcide’s ex-fiancée.

That’s her with the Tiffany bangs. See what I mean about 80’s chic?

Bill, Lorena and The King stop at a strip club. They make reference to Bill’s past as a “procurer” (read: pimp), and begin discussing “dinner”.

Eric makes it to Fangtasia in time to see Pamm being tortured. I can’t stand to see my Pam like this! She’s normally so fierce!

The Magistrate already knows Queen Sophie is involved, and wonders if Eric will tell on her, which is basically treason. During her torture, Pam shouts out that Bill Compton is the vampire behind the selling of the V. The Magistrate gives Eric two days to find Bill, or he will kill Pam.

At Lou Pine’s, Debbie decides to torture Alcide by letting him stay to watch her initiation ceremony into the wolf pack. And what an insane initiation it is.

While Lorena and the King are waiting for Bill to get back, he explains that he has “an errand”, and let’s her know she can start dinner without him.

In the club, Bill runs into a stripper named “Destiny” who looks disturbingly like Miley Cyrus:

…who then gives him a lap dance.

Back in the noisy were bar, the King shows up as the leader of Debbie’s induction ceremony (looking like an extra in The Matrix too)!

The King speaks to them in German, and gives them all some of his blood. It turns out, he’s the supplier of V to this entire gang. (!) So what does he want with Sophie Ann? How is he going to use Bill?

While Bill is getting a lap dance from the Miley lookalike, he “glamours” her into telling him her real name (Ann), and while she’s hypnotized, he finds out she really quite miserable in her life.

Back on stage at Lou Pine’s, Debbie is getting branded with the weird Nazi brand all others in the gang have.

Cooter gets on stage with her, and y’all, I swear to the Lord I thought I was about to see some wolf-on-girl-sex on my TV. I have never in my life been more glad to be wrong, true fax.

All the wolves in the bar start to howl, and then they start to shift. Alcide manages to scream (more like bark) at Sookeh to leave before he phases himself.

Bill leads the stripper out to the limo where the King and Lorena are waiting. Poor Ann just thinks they’re about to have an orgy or something, but Lorena and the King begin to feed on her. They ask Bill to join them, and he DOES.

I suppose he’s done being the good guy. What do you think?

And that’s it for this week! All the gifs came from Chapmangrll.livejournal.com, and all screen caps are from Sci Fi.Rawr.

So what do you think will happen next week? Tara and Bill will run into each other? Did Sookeh make it out in time? What’s up with Arlene’s baby?

I can’t wait for next week!

These are so hot, I actually *shivered* while looking at them. (I accidently typed, “hard” in that sentence first, when I mean to type “hot”. What a Freudian Slip, amirite?

That last one is my favorite. Yummy!

Check out the rest over at Thinking of Rob!

I am SO BEYOND sorry for missing this not one, but two weeks in a row! The first week, I was out of town, and the second week, I just plain forgot for some reason. I still don’t know how that happened.

Anyway, I’m back this week, so let’s get started!

I love Kstew, and I know she smiles quite a lot, but that made me laugh my ass off.

I don’t agree that Bella is the biggest setback in feminism (Perhaps um, rape culture is worse? Maybe?) but this made me laugh only because of the “sandwich” joke. I have to laugh at those, or I will just cry.

Eclipse gif-athon!

Finally, I have been extremely remiss the past few weeks about submissions. Facebook changed their email alert system again, and my inbox is flooded with unnecessary emails about comments on things I just “Liked”. Annoying. Anyway, I went wading through today and found all the hilarious stuff you guys have sent me lately. Please don’t let this dissuade you from sending something in, I usually am 100% better about getting them posted ASAP!

First up is from Raffinee, who sent me this older photo of Rob back when he was involved with someone who was…not KStew. I could have sworn I posted this, but just in case, here it is again!

Yep that Nikki Reed. And yes, her hand really is there.

Next up is a gif sent to me by Tamala!

Loves!

Finally, Stephani has a hilarious album of Twilight funnies that she made over on Twifans! She emails me occasionally to let me know she has made more, and here are a few of her recent additions!

You can check out the rest of her album in the link above! If your one Twifans, be sure to leave her a comment letting her know how much you liked it!

If you want to send me something to post for next week (and it WILL be posted next week, I promise!) send it to me at twilog_whitley@yahoo.com!

Have a great weekend!

There was an announcement posted today on the official “Twilight Saga” Facebook page that BD will be filmed in both Vancouver, as usual, AND in Baton Rouge, Louisiana!

Summit Entertainment’s THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN will be filmed in both Baton Rouge, Louisiana and Vancouver over the next year starting this fall. The next chapter of THE TWILIGHT SAGA will be released as two separate films with the first of the two slated to be released in theatres on November 18, 2011.

Academy Award® winner Bill Condon will direct both films starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner along with Billy Burke as Charlie Swan as well as returning members of the Cullen Family including Peter Facinelli as Carlisle, Elizabeth Reaser as Esme, Jackson Rathbone as Jasper, Nikki Reed as Rosalie, Ashley Greene as Alice and Kellan Lutz as Emmett.

The project, based on the fourth novel in author Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series, is currently being written by Melissa Rosenberg with Wyck Godfrey, Karen Rosenfelt and Stephenie Meyer producing.

Read the rest of the note HERE!

Is it too soon to start planning a road trip? Baton Rouge is not that far away from me at all! Of course, with my luck, Rob and Kristen are only needed for Vancouver stuff and won’t be traveling down south at all.

I’ll keep you updated!