3 boys & an angel

Got exactly what I was wanting and waiting for...

2012-01-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

I remember writing this post for NaBloPoMo in 2010. I was basically down to one last shot to fulfill my desire for a fourth child in my family before the end of the year. After nine unrewarding cycles, I was trying to not think about what might happen if the tenth was just another unsuccessful attempt.

We left for Chicagoland mid-December to visit NS's family. He'd been working overnights up until that point to better manage his school work. I didn't force the "trying"; I didn't want to stress over having to take advantage of any specific, timely opportunities. This was the one month I was going to really just go with the flow and not fret over whether or not we would get it "right."

Our visit with the family was great. NS's sister arrived from England a couple days after us, and we all went out with their old neighborhood friends one night to catch up (and meet for the first time in some cases). There was drinking, a lot of drinking, involved in this night. Like I said, not really stressing over the getting pregnant and therefore, acting pregnant anymore. I was over it. I was already prepared to see if we could go another couple months before abandoning the road to conception so that we'd given it a full twelve cycles, a solid amount of time for healthy couples not suffering from infertility issues.

Well, it would seem New Year's Eve 2010 was upon us. I began to realize that the dreaded witch could very well bring her ugliness on before our return to Washington on the 3rd. And, I had nothing to keep her from making a mess of my wardrobe. So, off we went to the drugstore to buy some feminine protection products. Of course, those items are located right next to their counterparts, pregnancy tests. Since it is New Year's Eve, and I'd like to make sure I'm not pregnant so I won't have any doubts about drinking that night, I decide to throw a couple two-pack boxes of those tests in the basket as well.

Once we return to the house, I open one of the boxes, take out a test, and retreat to the bathroom, certain to see a single-line, not-pregnant result. I watched the test fill with pee and dye (I know to do that now after misreading the first test I took from my twins) and waited for things to settle where they may...

Holy crap! I could not believe I finally got my positive freakin' pregnancy test on the LAST DAY of the year. I called NS into the bathroom, so he could see it for himself. He went out and told his parents before I even had a chance to suggest we may want to wait a bit before getting all excited and announcing it. We told his sister and her husband next, and then I called my mom. It was such an unbelievably awesome end to my 2010 and start to my 2011.

Yeah, I went back to the drugstore and returned those feminine protection products the very next day.

Welcome 2012!

2012-01-01T21:06:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been so long since I've written a post here; I didn't even feign an attempt at NaBloPoMo last year. I've missed updating here, so for the new year, I am resolving to get back into personal writing. There have been some changes to my life in the past year, namely the addition of a baby girl. We'll refer to her as Baby P, or BP for short. Thus, the blog will need a new name, and I am open to suggestions. Right now, the best idea I've had in the past two minutes is "House Full of Monkeys."

Tomorrow I'll elaborate on our discovery of BP's pending arrival.

Closing out the month...

2010-11-30T22:49:00.000-08:00

November, NaBloPoMo, and Movember come to a close this evening. My November had me getting started with an incredible business, finishing up my first semester back in school, watching my husband grow a moustache so horrible that he got an award for having the worst moustache, enjoying snow and Thanksgiving (with power!), and now ready to donate $270 to Movember. I had a goal to be able to donate $200 and was able to surpass that by $70! Hoping for another great month of giving next month.

Too bad I couldn't quite follow through with NaBloPoMo this year. Oh well, there's always next year!

Hooray for great customer service!

2010-11-29T22:43:00.000-08:00

An update to my last post: The company, Uncommon Goods, completely came through on their promise. The morning after I'd gotten the shipment confirmation email for the Illinois address, I had another email detailing the replacement shipment and shortly after had the shipment confirmation with my home address. I am absolutely impressed with that superior level of customer service. Now, I know for sure that my boys will be able to receive all their birthday presents on their birthday!

When efficiency is a downfall...

2010-11-27T23:17:00.000-08:00

I spent a bit of time today ordering Christmas presents for the kids as well as birthday presents for M and J. Since we will be with NS's parents for Christmas this year, we are shipping presents there to avoid having to pack them or drag them on the plane with us. That is a great plan, and one I was remembering to follow quite easily. Unfortunately, I didn't take the time needed to realize that one of the orders I placed was for M and J's BIRTHDAY presents, which is, you know, two weeks BEFORE Christmas. Yep, I shipped 'em to NS's parents. Within half an hour of placing said order, I contacted the company's customer service to try to change the shipping address. I thought for sure it would be able to be done. Um, no, not so much. They had already processed the order and were preparing it for shipping (so they said at the time, which I so did not believe at the time), so their best suggestion was to have the people I shipped it to refuse the shipment so that it would be returned to the company and then they could send it to my house. You know what I thought of that? That there is no way that process would allow the shipment to be here in time. So, I called to see about canceling the order so that I could reorder with the correct shipping address. The woman I spoke with was very compassionate towards my situation and double-checked the order status to make sure they couldn't change the shipping address. She confirmed that it was ready to ship and couldn't be shipped to a different address at this point. She did offer to attempt to intercept the package once the tracking information was available so that it would be returned to the company and resent to the correct address. I think this is likely to work as I've had something like that done before, but I was still flabbergasted that this order was ready to be shipped less than an hour after I hit the Submit button on their webpage. I received the shipping confirmation with tracking number not much after this, so I guess they really were that quick and efficient with my order. Too bad this was a time when I would rather have been dealing with a company that took a bit more time to move from "ordered" to "shipped" status.

Out...

2010-11-25T22:39:00.000-08:00

Looks like I won't be displaying a NaBloPoMo success badge this year. We had quite a little snow storm on Monday and ended up without power for almost 48 hours. Our mode of heating is a wood-burning fireplace, so we stayed warm enough, but cooking proved quite the task with only a charcoal grill outside. Our power was restored just after NS prepared a feast of grilled bratwurst and grill-heated soup and served it up. Since we weren't really sure if we'd have power today, we weren't fully prepared for making our typical Thanksgiving fare. However, we still managed to pull off quite the delicious treat with a smoked turkey with homemade garlic mayonnaise and fresh cranberry sauce for dipping, garlic mashed potatoes with turkey dripping gravy, a sweet potato and cranberry bake, and roasted brussel sprouts with macadamia nuts (if it doesn't sound good, just trust me, they're more than good).

Today, I am thankful for my truly wonderful family and the convenience of electricity and all the wonder it brings to my life.

Wintery...

2010-11-21T23:18:00.000-08:00

My expo tonight was not as much a success as last week's. The temperature's gotten much colder, and there was even snow flurries this afternoon. So, people stayed home and tried to stay warm, which means our turnout was less than exciting.

My, oh my, it's been a long time...

2010-11-20T22:30:00.000-08:00

I signed into my Google Reader account for the first time in -- too long. That's all I can say about it, too long. I was grinning and giddy as I scrolled down to find some of my favorite people still putting their thoughts and lives out there. People I didn't realize I'd been missing so much until tonight. Enough of those people that I didn't even take a moment to wonder about those whom I used to read regularly not having any recent posts. Looks like the Reader might become another tab to keep open once again.

I want to bang my head on a wall, too...

2010-11-19T21:11:00.000-08:00

Unenergetic and procrastinating...

2010-11-18T22:47:00.000-08:00

I promised myself that I wouldn't put my essay off until the end of the week, you know, the day it is due. But, here it is Thursday night, and all I've got is a browser window full of tabs with possibly relevant information, a few notes jotted about what I plan to put in the essay, and a very rough draft of part of the introduction. It's a solid start, I suppose, but I had wanted it to be mostly done by now, not just started.

Oh well, it will get done tomorrow, probably with a small dose of panic as the time ticks by on my day, and all will be fine. I just don't have the energy right now. M and J had a half-day at school today, so I had all three boys with me running errands, which always seems to quadruple the amount of time it would take if I were running solo. I also made a dinner a minor step above my dinners of late (the ones where I make some sort of meat in 15 minutes and then throw raw fruits or veggies at plates until they seem balanced enough) as well as a soup for the boys' teachers to have tomorrow during their long day of conferences since I volunteered to do so last month.

The soup turned out much better this time than it did when I tested it a couple weeks ago; it helps when you actually follow the instructions in the recipe, I think. And, according to NS, dinner was awesome. We had chile pork and a persimmon and pear salad (both recipes found on AllRecipes.com). I enjoyed it well enough; awesome is a bit of a stretch for my taste buds, though. NS and I have wildly differing tolerances and affinities for acidity in salad dressings. I make an apple cider vinegar and bacon grease dressing that I love and could eat every day; too much vinegar, he says. Tonight's salad was lemon juice and olive oil base; he thought it was fantastic, and I thought something was missing. Those persimmons sure made up for it, though...yum!

Unspoken...

2010-11-17T21:02:00.000-08:00

A friend and I were chatting this morning, and she mentioned something her husband said to her about a picture he saw of her. His comment was about how that picture had been taken when she still did her hair and makeup every day. This obviously wasn't a compliment on his part, and it made her feel a bit guilty and scrutinized and underappreciated. I don't know how something like that wouldn't make her feel that way. Of course, that picture was also taken prior to the birth of her two year-old and when she was working full-time outside the home, when she had not only the time but also the sense of necessity to have a very put-together personal presentation. I've absolutely found myself in similar circumstances, finding very little time or motivation to put in half an hour or more to style my hair and apply a layer of perfection to my skin. When you know the only reason you'll leave the house is to go grocery shopping, it's hard to muster the justification for taking extra time on your appearance when you could be doing something that seems more important or meaningful.

Thankfully, no one in my life ever took the time to make mention of this change in my routine, though. But, just like I've never been critiqued over my lack of primping, I also rarely hear compliments about how I look when I do put more effort forth. I have a feeling that this type of situation would be very bothersome for many women, and I'll admit, the implied correlation between his silence and his level of admiration for me has crossed my mind once or twice, though these thoughts are always squashed briefly after they pop up. Why? Because NS is quite adept at showing his feelings for me. And, honestly, that is a much better love language for me. Words can be spoken and mean very little; actions speak to me in a way words cannot. Physical displays of affection and love mean so much more to me in the grand scheme of who I am and how my past has shaped my mind. I wouldn't dare give up something so clearly understood and conveyed to me in trade of more verbal praise, which, it seems, can also come packaged with occasional verbal reproach.

One of the best new shows...

2010-11-16T21:34:00.000-08:00

One of the most entertaining shows we've picked up recently is Raising Hope. A guy gets a girl pregnant. She turns out to be a serial killer and goes to prison to await her execution. Once executed, guy gets baby to raise. His family is, um, special. While guy works with dad in family business, baby goes to wacky lady's daycare who sings wacky songs. Shenanigans ensue. It's just a lot of awesomeness in one show every week.

Belief...

2010-11-15T22:20:00.000-08:00

Today's NaBloPoMo prompt is about religious and spiritual beliefs. My declared philosophy on Facebook is that of a spiritual fatalist, meaning I believe in a greater power or force in our universe and that things happen as they are meant to happen. I've written about this before, and I'm just going to leave the link here as it is still true today and is a core part of who I am and how I try to live my life.

Lack of interest...

2010-11-14T22:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning, as I was driving along to get to the Expo location, I was pondering this blog and what I want to post about, which inevitably led me to thinking about how I used to always have something to write about, something I wanted to write about to get it out of my head. And, now, that is rarely the case. My life lacks drama nowadays, and that's very suitable for me. But, it means there's a lot less need for me to reach for my emotional outlet. No drama seems to yield little interest oftentimes.

Anyway, so I was winding through these towns on my drive, and I see this motel. I think to myself, that looks like a seedy sort of place, the kind of motel that people having affairs in a small town would go to. Not too far away, I see a church, and a whole story builds in my mind about a couple of not-so-happily married churchgoers finding each other during choir practices and beginning a disgraceful and sorted affair...using that motel as their rendezvous haven. I figure they'll be caught in their deceptions and live miserably, longing for forgiveness and uncomplication, after that. It was a short-lived tale in my head, but it was a random creation of drama where none probably exists that I happened upon shortly after thoughts of how little drama and outside interest my life now holds.

I then immediately wondered if other people find themselves doing that, imagining unlikely events based upon an ordinary set of scenery.

Sooooo tired....

2010-11-13T22:28:00.000-08:00

Me? Sleepy. Too sleepy for thought. Incoherent. That's me right now.

Barely...

2010-11-12T23:44:00.000-08:00

With less than 15 minutes to spare in NaBloPoMo day 12, I'm starting this post. I've been a busy girl this evening in preparation for my first Holiday Shopping Expo in which I will share my H2O at Home products and business with the visitors. It seems like it will be fun, and I hope it is. It's been a fiasco leading up to now in trying to coordinate with the other H2O at Home advisors, but I think we're all settled and ready to put our best foot forward in the morning. Tomorrow promises to be a very long day since I will wake at 4:30 in the morning to go to class and then leave from there to drive the hour and a half to the Expo location to begin setting up for the 7 hour show. And, then there's the clean up afterwards and the even longer drive home. I'll probably crash as soon as I step through the door of the house.

A day of honor, remembrance, and gratitude...

2010-11-11T22:34:00.000-08:00

I want to keep this short, simple, and straightforward.

Today, and every day, I am thankful for my husband and all the other men and women, past, present, and future, who sacrificed to serve our country, to secure and protect our freedom.

Inspiration...

2010-11-10T22:08:00.000-08:00

Part of the requirements for one of my classes, an Adobe Illustrator class, is to find images that strike us with inspiration for some reason and keep an electronic journal of them. This was one of the first images I selected.

Another requirement for this image library is that we explain what we like about the image, or why we selected it. I chose this image because I thought it would make a fantastic eye. I haven't done any projects for this class that make use of eyes, and I may not have one before the end of class, but I do believe I can use this picture some day to help me create a unique and dramatic eye, one that draws people to it.

Up in flames...

2010-11-09T21:30:00.001-08:00

I was perusing the list of writing prompts on the NaBloPoMo site a few minutes ago, and I saw this one from September 30th: If your house was on fire, what five things would you be glad to see go up in flames?

As pictured over there <---, the first thing I'd be glad to see go up in flames and be jumping for joy to replace is our couch. Our couch has been a giant disappointment. Its quality is not fitting with its price, and it has deteriorated at a much too rapid rate in the 2+ years we've had it. We can't even wash the cushion covers anymore because they are barely hanging on with shreds, literally shreds and threads, of fabric. It's too big an expense for us to outright replace it now as much as we'd love to. Not when it isn't absolutely necessary and when we still have little children who make messes wherever they go.

I'm also not hesitant to say I wouldn't be sad to see our kitchen cabinets go to dust. They're old and poorly remodeled, not to mention their inferior organization.

And, since I'm demolishing stuff in the house I don't like with this imaginary fire, I'll get rid of the basement, too. Bad carpet, a room that's more like a large closet that's passing for a guest room, some ugly wall paneling...yeah, it can all go.

The washer and dryer would be nice to replace also. The washer is about 8 years old, and the dryer's probably about 10. The washer is permanently stuck on extra-large loads, which is better than the opposite probably since we wash full loads 99% of the time we do laundry. They both work just fine, especially when considering their ages, but a pretty red set wouldn't make me miss them at all.

Finally, I wouldn't balk at the chance to replace all our towels with new matching pieces. Good quality, plush towels that would make the end of every bath or shower feel like a luxury spa experience.

Do you have something that you wouldn't mind letting go of in a fire even if you can't justify parting with it otherwise?

Portrait of a mom...

2010-11-08T23:08:00.000-08:00

This is a de-colorized version of a snapshot J took of me the other night, the same night as the photos posted yesterday. It had been red tinted. I assume because his finger was too close to the flash. I always take great interest in these pictures the kids take. It's a perspective rarely seen since they are generally viewing a different angle from anyone else who might take a picture of me. I just wish I was smiling more in the picture, which is sadly the case in most of the portraits for which they have me pose. I don't know why that is, really. I am generally a smiley person. Even the therapist I saw last year made a comment about my perpetual smile, a smile I maintained even while divulging painful experiences and memories. I just hope that these blinks in time my kids capture so randomly and infrequently don't reflect what they see more often than not. I'd hate to think they don't see my smile as much as others. Of course, taking pictures of the family is one of their "good deeds" cards they can get to make up for breaking one of the house rules, so perhaps my smile is missing in those moments for a genuinely good reason.

Blank...

2010-11-07T23:01:00.000-08:00

I'm completely blank on topics this evening. I almost forgot to post. Might have completely forgotten had it not been for a spam comment email I just received. So, in lieu of further babbling about how much I don't have to say tonight, I'll share some photos of the boys from dinner Friday night...their "silly" faces.

M's silly face
J's silly face
LMX's silly face
LMX's silly face with added silly tongue
And, then J took the camera...
J's pic of M's silly face
J's pic of LMX's silly face
J's self-portrait

How does your mo grow...

2010-11-06T22:05:00.000-07:00

Do you know about the month of Movember? It's the month formerly known as November, and it is changing the face of men's health. Men grow out their mo's, or moustaches, if you will, for the entire month to raise awareness for prostate cancer.

NS and most of his co-workers are participating this year. I've donned a fake moustache and a light blue shirt and placed the picture on my Facebook profile. I'm also trying to raise money to donate through my H2O at Home business. I've vowed to donate 20% of my November sales to Movember. The tally as of tonight is $61, and I'd really like to reach $200 or more. With a couple holiday shopping expos in the next couple weeks, I think this goal is more than achievable.

Are you participating or know someone who is?

Wanting and waiting....

2010-11-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

Last December, NS and I decided to start trying to add one more baby to this family of ours. Four seems like a really nice round number, and there's always that chance we'd be able to have a daughter to raise since we've got so many sons already, and even if we don't get that chance, we figure four boys will be just as much fun and chaos as three. So, a win-win situation, really.

We did take a couple months off from trying to conceive to avoid a December/January due date since we will be flying to Illinois for the holidays this year. But, alas, we are in cycle nine, and no pretty double-lined tests to congratulate us on our efforts yet. It's weird being in this place now, having conceived twins the first cycle of trying and having conceived twice while trying to avoid it with birth control pills. We're supposed to be pregnant by the end of the year to give us six months of adjustment before NS gets out of the Navy. I hope and pray that it will happen in that timeline. I'm afraid if we don't conceive and decide to stop trying, then there will never be a fourth child to join us. That thought makes me so incredibly sad. It makes my heart hurt and feel hollow and empty, and I don't want to have to come to terms with that. Please pray for our miracle or send us as many positive thoughts as you can spare.

The business...

2010-11-04T21:10:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, I went to a get together with a few women from a mom's group I belong to. It was an open house with a few party-based businesses present: jewelry from Stacy McBride, a spa collection from For Your Pleasure, and then the unexpected highlight of natural home care products from H2O at Home.

The woman who showed us the H2O at Home products casually answered our questions, and the demonstration of the all-natural clay powder had me hooked (along with everyone else). The simple container of non-flashy and quite unspectacular-looking clay, when paired with a wet, tough yet non-abrasive sponge, was magical. The white porcelain sink of our hostess's kitchen had some scratches and scuffs from normal, everyday use that hadn't been able to be removed from other cleaners or scrubbings. With this clay and sponge combo and minimal effort from our H2O at Home lady, all the blemishes disappeared from that sink. I bought some things that night and eagerly awaited my delivery so I could put this clay to the test in my house, a house that is about 30 years old and had been abandoned for about a year before we moved in, which is my way of saying that there is some layers of stubborn staining from water and minerals in our bathrooms. Well, I guess I should say there was some stubborn staining because that clay and sponge duo knocked those stains stubbornness into oblivion.

So, having looked at home much their business kit cost and what was included in said business kit, I decided I had nothing to lose in signing up. At worst, I got a lot of products I'd want anyway and only pay a fraction of the retail price. I am just so amazed by these products. They are developed in France and meet very high standards for their natural and organic certification, much higher standards than we use in the U.S. I had mostly eliminated toxic cleansers from our house anyhow because I think they do more harm than good, but my vinegar and water never gave the same clean appearance as I'd want and as I've found with these natural cleaners. The microfibers are the answer to most of my cleaning woes. A little water and these wondercloths have made me look for things to clean just because I know it will be and LOOK clean. Total win.

Getting schooled...

2010-11-03T20:45:00.000-07:00

I've been in classes since late August. Two ODU classes and then two classes at the local college to fill in some of my lower level requirements that began late September. I was a bit, um, apprehensive, I guess, about going back to school at first. I wasn't sure I would do as well as I expected of myself, and I did wonder if I'd be the oldest in any classes that I was taking since I have to go in to the school for all but one of them. As it has turned out, I am still a great student. I'm on track to complete the semester with a full set of A's. I even managed to get a perfect score on my first Intro to Rhetorics test, and the professor read a large part of my essay to the class the day we went over the tests. Not too shabby for a class that I have to be in at five in the morning.

Yes, I said 5 AM! That was a rude awakening on the first day of class...as I showed up at what I believed to be 15 minutes early only to find that the class ended 10 minutes later. I had mistakenly thought the times listed for classes when I registered had been converted for my time zone since it was listed as a class at my local campus. Not so much. So, what I thought was an 8 a.m. class is really 5, and if I wasn't already dreading having to be at the school at 8 o'clock on a Saturday for 3 hours...well, let's just say it wasn't a happy revelation and leave it at that.

And, I'm not the oldest in my classes, not even the local college ones. Even if I was, I wouldn't let it bother me at this point; I love being a student again!