2 Ditzy Broads

Why Wednesday

2010-02-24T08:50:00.001-05:00

Chrissy's Why's

why we lettin the blog fall to the wayside again

why its cause of work

why dat shit is overrated

why lately my job and the people @ my job been irking my nerves

why i dont really even have any nerves left

why they not even being original in hollyweird no more as far as scary movies go, all they doin is remaking old shit

why this lady here @ work was askin me how to setup a blog and i told as well as showed her what to do, but u cant pull her shit up when searching for it

why she think imma blog expert iono

why it STAY cold in my lobby

why am i still thirsty

why imma cop me another cold drank

why i sent bammy an e-mail asking her if she wanted to why with me this morning and she aint got back with me yet

why she betta get back with me by the time i am done why'n

why the last season of nip/tuck is so disapointing

why i feel like we nip/tuck fans aint gon get a nice good clean fresh ending

why dats gon piss me off

why my haircut cute

why the only thang wrong with it is the fact that its too cold to be rocking a short cut right now

why this lady keep offering me homemade chicken soup

why its orange

why i have no clue what homemade chicken soup look like, but that shit in the can aint orange so why is her shit orange

why i read on people.com that gary busey just had a baby boy with some chick

why i wanna know what female would sleep with gary busey and let him buss one in her to make a baby

why bammy just got back to me and said she aint wanna post no why's

why imma post my sad n lonely why's all alone then

Sign Here Tiger

2010-02-15T13:50:00.000-05:00

Tiger Woods cheated on his wife.....15 times. You know how many times that is? Whatever, we're passed that and apparently so is his wife. She called off the divorce and is gonna try and give it another go. *claps for her* I don't know many chicks that would do that but....whatever. So....I was thinking if it were me and I was put in her situation, I'd make that man whore sign a contract. And being the totally brilliant dizty broads that we are, here's what that contact would look like:

This agreement made this day between Elgin Woods Jr. and Elin Woods is to be kept and performed on the part of said parties hereto, respectively as herein stated:

I, Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods agree to; Love and honor my wife, and in doing so I have agreed to sign this contract and follow the terms agreed upon between my wife and I. I do fully understand the terms and will follow them to the best of my ability. And if I don't, I understand the consequences of those actions. I love my wife and kids, and want to make this union work.

Terms to be observed by and between the parties; If Mr. Woods is caught in any act's of infidelity either or all of the following will take place:

- His wife can chop his dick and balls set off and place it on display.

- His wife will have free reign to his bank accounts.

- He will have to pay 100,000 for every mistress that can be found.

-He will have to admit that he is indeed black...........FINALLY.

This agreement should be binding upon both parties, and hoes and or scallywags that interfere with the union between the married couple. This contract shall be enforced under the law, Nigga's ain't shit.

This is the end of the contract.

Signed this day and in the presence of:

Witness: Lorena Bobbitt __________

Why Wednesday

2010-02-10T08:43:00.000-05:00

Bammy's Why's

Why you can't pay me to watch Bad Girls Club?

Why you can't get me to watch American Idol either?

Why my new favorite saying is "cut your dick off and look for your vagina"?

Why that's gonna be my comeback to everything now?

Chrissy's Why's

why its cold as hell in this office and i swear i am so sicka these fuckas NOT turning the heater on

why lil wayne aint goin to the pen till march lmao

why they talking bout he broke a tooth

why that is called stallin

why bad girls club is my shit

why i stopped watching american idol iono how many seasons ago

why i gotta get on rupaul's drag queen race

why them is the OOGLIEST queens i ever did lay my eyes on

why i sat for a good 30 mins tryna to figure out where them ho's put they dick n ball sets

why imma stop watching these shows when my kids awake cause they too nosey

why lex walked in and goes THOSE ARE MEN??????

why she said where they put they balls momma

why i just put my head down

why them bitches had me tickled pink tho

why they revered to each other as girl, and she, and her lmao

why its this one round mouth queen on there named tyra who said I HATE GOING OUT IN PUBLIC IN DRAG IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

why i was like de fuck is the point of u being drag then if u shame

why rupaul is fierece than a muthafucka

why its too cold in here so imma stop typing

.....But I Don't Get It

2010-02-09T10:25:00.001-05:00

*Sweet N Sour Chicken - this has bothered me for years, but I have yet to come across a chicken that was both Sweet AND Sour

*Why is Nicki Minaj rapping like a woman trying to sound like a man that sounds like a woman?

*Love - Love is complicated enough between people who see each other every day. But what I don't really understand is how someone can claim they love you and have never, EVER met you. Now maybe I haven't gotten with the times as yet but that screams attachment issues to me. Or at the very least crazy as hell.

*My Love affair with Swiss Cake Rolls - I.Just.Don't.Get.It

*The stupidty of humans - Some days I totally get where Lil Wayne was coming from with his whole Martian bit....Though.......he's in a whole nother galaxy all by his lonesome.

*Lamar Odom Kardashian - did he get married for love or publicity........that is the question.

*I never understood why Valentine's Day was so damn special. If you love someone shouldn't you show them your appreciation all year long? I think it's just a way for advertisers to get more money outta you lovey dovey sucka's.

If any of you have the answers to one or more of these questions, please....PLEASE feel free to enlighten me. OR if you have some things you don't understand, share and we can be lost together.

Single Life Ater Marriage (A Series)

2010-02-05T09:58:00.000-05:00

Pic jacked from Google

Me and my hubby broke de fuck up, yadda yadda moving on.....Cut to present day A BITCH GOT BUCKWILD.....then i got bored and realized niggas was fuckin nutz!! So i stopped dating so to speak and closed my legs but the shit i gotta tell yall, imma list the niggas and situations that stood out in my head and give yall a lil synopsis on each one of em once a week so yall can see what Chrissy been up to while living the SINGLE LIFE.....

J Da Dope Boy-RIGHT UP MY ALLEY YALL.....A fuckin thug to the damn fullest, i saw his ass 1st i think iono, he was prolly watchin me too all night, all i know was it took his ass long nuff to get the fuck offa that pool table and come over to me, he said some slick fly ass shit out his mouth, i played all hard like NIGGA WHATEVER he kept @ the thug shit i kept the nigga imma bad bitch steez going....lol i think he thought he could get me drunk nuff to go home with his ass, cause he kept buying me amaretto sours witch i didnt get drunk off of just sick as fuck, we exchanged numbers.....

QUESTION why niggas think u be lying when u give them yo number and they pull they phone out right in the club and call yo ass and WAIT to see yo phone light up or ring just to make sure its really yo number?????? that shit happened to me so many times....

back to the story tho.....

I was sick as fuck the next day, HUNGOVER.....i woke up late, that is all i remember, checked my phone to see the time and i had too many missed calls iono i think it was like 6 and 4 of em was from J....ughhhhh u too thirsty fa me i returned his calls eventually and we chatted over the phone a few times lol but i just got the vibe he was stoopid and that turnt me off so i never called him he kept callin me......

One weekend after like several blow offs i gave his ass, he called when i was kid-less and i was like look i am horny where u stay so i can come get it he was all taken aback n shit SHOCKED....which made me think he ain't no real thug cause why he actin all shocked cause i said i wanted some???? shit like that shouldn't shock a thug right??? i mean aint u used to capping niggas and seeing dead bodies and dealing with crooked cops and drug raids n shit???? maybe my ass watch too much tv tho....*shrugs*

he told me where he lived i got there in a lil dress and some cute shoes no drawz *wink* tell me this tho yall why i walked in to a fuckin TRAP......and by trap i mean a gotdamn dope house, it was 20's and 10's n shit all on the table all willy nilly, and a big ass bag of weed that was broke down into 20 dolla lil baggies and his, i am guessing partner in crime was sittin on the couch sleep mouth open snoring... de fuck?????? what if a nigga decide to rob yall he aint no help....

J was just dumb, i told my innanet girls all the time if he would just fuck and not talk it would be all good cause something dumb stayed coming out his mouth.....he had the nerve to call and ask me one day, in the middle of the day @ that, on a weekday to take his ass on a dope run???? NIGGA IS U SICK??? I aint finna make myself into a mule or turn my car into a fuckin getaway vehicle for yo ass, and he was serious too yall, when he said i need a favor, i was like nigga what? thinkin he gon ask some shit like can you give me directions to someplace, or can i use you as a reference so i can get this rent a center furniture set....he coming talkin bout i need you to take me to pick up dis brick from my homeboy i laffed and was like nigga is u fa real, then i said ummmm yeah imma call you later, i aint call his ass back and he aint call me back......IDIOT...He was younger than me too like by 3/4 years i think he was like 25 i cant remember, he was too old to be still asking bitches to take his ass on dope runs n shit i know that, AND HE HAD A FUCKIN FLY ASS DOPE BOY CAR....IONO WHY HE AINT JUST USE HIS SHIT TO GO COP HIS BRICK....prolly cause it was too loud n obvious he had one of them caprices that was fuckin painted like now n laters or life savers or gobstoppers or some shit with 28's that was too big for the car to even roll right.....All you down south niggas know what i am talking bout lol, that is how we roll down here, in ridiculously stupid ass cars...

Needless to say only thing i liked bout J was his washboard ass stomach and that thug-ness bout his ass, or so called thug-ness, i was fooled, cause come to think of it what thug nigga buys a female drank after drank after drank after drank and not get mad and cuss her out and say some shit like BITCH LOOK, U DONE HAD 785454546 OF THEM THANGS NOW EITHER U ROLLIN WITH ME IN MY CAPRICE, OR IMMA LEAVE YO DRUNK ASS HERE.....He wasnt the thug i thought he was yall, and even if he was he was bascially just a taste of what i had to come while dealing with dudes and the bullshit yall brang to the table....

Feel Free to bombard me with questions, i might answer em i might not, but you can still ask....lol Stay Tuned...

Stand-Up Guys

2010-02-04T10:15:00.002-05:00

“Sitting home waiting for you, cause staring at these walls is all I can do” © - Kima, Keisha or Pam

Just about every female has been there, and she knows what I mean when I say that it is one of the worse feelings in the world. You get dressed, waiting on your date/man to come…an hour rolls by…..another hour rolls by, by this point either your seething or highly concerned. You call him, no answer. Pissed, is the emotion. The next morning the call comes. Maybe you answer it, maybe you don’t. But from that day on whenever you get dressed to go on another date, that little evil bitch ass voice in the back of your head is going to be saying “You know that nugga ain’t gon’ show up right?”

So fella’s, this list is for you. Because apparently men still stand women up:

D.E.A.T.H

Standing a female up usually spells death to a relationship. Especially if you don’t call. It may not be in the next few days but it will be one of the determining reasons later on down the line. Unless y’all have had sex and your dick game is proper. Then really all the rules go out the window. But if you haven’t, you probably won’t then. And really….you guys won’t stick around if there’s no sex, will you?

Give a Fuck-less.

She doesn’t care what the reason is….all she knows is, you made her get dressed, do her hair, get beautified and you didn’t even show up. Let me take you through the process:

First we have to decide what we want to wear. This is a task that can take up most of the time. We need to plan for every event, what pants to wear…should I wear underwear? Well if I do, I have to change pants…Do my boob’s look too small in this top? Got to find another one…..oh great it doesn’t go with the pants I have on.

We put a lot of effort into getting dressed when we go on a date. A LOT, and it goes all down the drain cause you decide you wanted to do whatever. I say this all to say, save the excuse no matter what it is. Don’t give the lame ol I’m sorry either. *do something different* (that’s a freebie, I just gave you)

Ain't worth a turd

So I hear through the grapevine that you guys are tired of hearing that saying “Nigga’s ain’t shit”? Well here is one certified way to not ever hear it again........... Don’t stand a female up. Plain and simple.

**You guys are on your own for the rest of the crap that contributes the nigga’s ain’t shit movement though.

Got a big ego, such a HUGE ego

Most women are very confident, whether it’s deserved or not. We don’t like to show it too much or let on, but we know. As confident as we are in that we are just as fragile. They probably don’t want me to you that. But it’s true, and I speak nothing but truth. And you don’t want to be one of the dents in a beautiful woman’s ego do you? There’s no coming back from that. You’ll scar her and she’ll never be able to look at you OR any other man the same. You don't want that on your conscious do you? I didn't think so.

"Once a good girl goes bad, she's gone forever" the instant we lose that bit of our confidence we'll never get it back.

So men, the next time you're about to stand a woman up.......Think about these things before you do.

**emails this to the guy that stood me up last**

2010 Why Wednesday's

2010-02-03T09:11:00.001-05:00

Bammy's Why's

Why is Lost so damn confusing.....that's all I'm going to say on the matter

Why do I keep getting emails from online dating services, they know something I don't know?

Why I decided NOT to post my blog til Thursday cause some of you's seem HUNGRY for the why's?

Why do I love Kobe Bean Bryant and his all time high scoring Lakerness?

Why do I now have an addiction to Lil Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls?

Why I KNOW at least one of y'all remember them?

Why is there a non-straight female at my job?

Why me and her are pretty cool?

Why all the guys in the warehouse tell her how much they like, and be trying to get HER to spit game for THEM to ME?

Why they dumb as hell and ain't think she PROBABLY doesn't have their best interest at heart and MAY be trying to spit game her damn self?

Why they all just wasting their breath cause I wouldn't date not a nann one of em?

Why I'm about to go eat me one of those Swiss Cake Rolls?

Chrissy's Why's

why its so cold in here that my nose is running and my nipples are hard as lil pebbles

why i cooked bacon in the break room microwave and everybody in the office thank imma make em breakfast

why they sadly mistaken

why fa real yall i may as well be outside its so cold in here

why my bacon done got cold its so cold in here

why i like that usher and niki minaja song

why they talkin bout amber rose was in the remake of the we are the world song

why i really need to know WHY!!

why them swiss rolls are good bammy, dont they got em in chocolate and skrawberry????

why nip/tuck is a bore now

why its a good thang this the last season cause they done ran outta story ideas

why i missed bad girls club last night cause i was ironing and straight up forgot it was coming on

why i blame my kids cause it was they clothes i was ironing

why imma cop the replay

why my why's dull

why i am mad bammy talkin bout she got internet dating services sending her shit lol

why a song that was hot like 2-5 yrs ago is corny as fuck now

why some examples is its goin down by young jock and this is why i'm hot by mims

why them songs corny as fuck to me now but i jammed em hard when they came out

why i cant wait to see how hard these why's gon pop pop, POP off

Things ALL Women need to know........

2010-02-02T09:06:00.000-05:00

Yup, we back, and we doin alot of shit in list form, cause hey, we copying offa other blogs, ask us if we care tho.....

So me and Bammy brainstorm from time to time, believe it or not we really want this blog back up n running, anywho bammy was like i got some ideas of lists we could do and on her idea list was THINGS ALL WOMEN SHOULD KNOW HOW TO DO.....i decided... DATS GON BE MY COME BACK POST....cause i done been in some situations in the last few months where i couldnt depend on anybody but my damn self, and that is the most humbling shit.....plus you learn alot, and its so many things i can do now, i couldnt do 6 months ago, and i think all you females need to work on doing these things below iffen u sophisticated ladies dont already know how.....

*Make some sorta dish from scratch, i dont care if its something as simple as cornbread, you aint gotta cook everythang out the damn box, i used to ALWAYS make Jiffy cornbread if i wanted some, till one day my ass aint have any in the cabinet, i had no car to go get a box, BUT......i had shit to make it homemade so i called my granny, she told me what to do i added a lil suga to it to make it sweet like jiffy, and mayne oh mayne was it good....

*Change the oil in ya own car, really, its as simple as untwisting a cap, letting the old oil drain out, and putting a bottle of new oil in, now if you a girly girl and dont want oil under ya nails or dirt on ya DKNY slacks then i suggest u wear some gloves and change into sweatpants, i took my car to get the oil changed in it back in November and it cost me 45 fuckin bucks, i watched them niggas do the shit and said FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS i can do this myself, i watched a friend of mine do his wife's car and guess what, shit still looked simple so next time i am saving myself some money and doing it my damn self....

*Drive a stick, i am only saying this cause every female in my family and beyond can drive a stick cept me, i wanna know how tho.....lol

*Scuse me for being Crass, but this is Chrissy ya talking to here, or reading rather, lol but i think every female should know in some way shape fashion or form to know how to make a man's toes curl, during sex, w/o using her catbox all the time if that mean blowing in his ear, stroking that spot right between his balls and asshole while sucking him off, or tweeking his nipples while u ride him like a cowgirl, u gotta know @ least 1 freaky ass thing to do....

*Every female should know her handbags, just like a man can be watching a football game and tell u the fuckin stats of the whole offensive line, the school they came from, the points in shit they scored, they momma and dem social security number......Me personally cause i loooooooooove Coach bags can spot a fake one a mile away, and if there are females out there like me, then when they see me they know all of mine are real....same with Gucci's, Louis, and all them other high priced ass handbags.....

*Every women should know @ least one sports star, it dont matter the sport, and u cant know him cause he been in the news lately for being a serial ho and being a scaredy cat and running from his wife so fast he crashed his car into a tree, u gotta know him cause u know he scored this many points a game, or because he won the Heisman when he was in college, or cause he MVP or some shit, not cause he used to be roomates in college wiff yo homegirl sister fren's boyfrens cousin or some shit.....Men like that kinda crap tho, if u can sit an dwatch a game with him and be like damn why he aint run the ball back, or some sorta football lingo like that there then that man think he got a winner in you even tho u was just sayin some random ass shit....

So Ladies, gon and tell us something that you know how to do, that you think the rest of the ladies of the world should know how to do to...And fellas, tell us what yall want us to know how to do so we can fake like we gon do it knowing damn well we aint.....

Kick In tha Door....Waving the 4 - 4

2010-02-01T09:45:00.001-05:00

We're BACK BISHES!!!

missed us???

Its So Hard to Say Goodbye......

2009-04-21T13:30:00.000-04:00

....But we on vacation cause we cant seem to stay focused long nuff to break yall off a post sides for Why Wednesday..... much love to all our readers and supporters we will be back...............eventually......

luv ya fav 2 ditzy broads

Bahama and Chrissy.....

Why Wednesday

2009-04-15T10:20:00.000-04:00

Chrissy's Whys

*why i aint got my glasses on and i cant see shit that i am typing

*why g's to gents was boring last night

*why i still got cerns tho

*why teddy ho wanna get mad cause that nigga aint wanna claim her trick baby

*why she think teddy was gon know who in the hell the child's daddy was and she a ho

*why bentley almost got emotinal when him and fahim was talking

*why fahim bout as stoopid as iono what

*why blue momma look like an ex wnba playa

*why she came out with her best church outfit on with the matching purse

*why when she said she aint wanna embaress her son i wanted to cry cause it was obvious blue still loved her cause he had her @ the reunion anyway and she was still an embarresment in them clothes she was rocking

*why i hope my kids love me just as much as blue love his mammy

*why blue aint even care his ass aint win, that nigga was like shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid a free apt and a lil change thats betta than a shelter

*why creepa still need to be reformed ole no talking ass nigga

*why i still think they needed to teach all dem niggas how to read

*why we got visitors here all week long and i hate it

*why i be glad when friday get here

*why ppl keep telling me they like my shoes when they know they ugly

*why they look like some chinese bruce lee kick ass take names typa shoes

*why they comfy than a muthafucka tho

*why cant nobody here me coming when i am walking cause they so quiet

*why this lady here visiting got the OOGLIEST coach bag

*why imma have to keep stopping my whys to play happy greeter receptionist to these ppl here

*why i know odara feel these whys

*why imma have a shitload of whys but aint nobody gon respond

*why that tickles and makes me sad all @ once

*why this blog is bout as sad as blue in the beginning of g's to gents

*why i hate it when ppl ask me to do shit they know they can do themselves

*why my big red flat just like i suspected it would be

*why imma drink it anyway tho

*why i feel a headache coming on

*why i was laughing in my sleep last night and for the life of me i cant remember what was so fucking funny

*why i bet one of the visitors here gon get fly with one of the mangers cause i aint order they picky ass a veggie try like they asked

*why i dont care, i forgot

*why yo monkey ass betta eat a bagel n hursh

*why imma wrap these whys up with this lil tid bit here

*why i went in the breakroom to get ice and 2 dudes standing round talking bout fucking cream of wheat and how it tasted like paste

*why i was like i'd hate to have to date one of these boring ass bastards

*why this man just asked me for a ball point pen

*why i said i got regular papermate pens and handed him one

*why he proceeded to rifle throo my pen cup

*why that cup is full of cheap ass pens

*why i told his ass i aint have no fucking ball point pens

*why imma have to deal with this shit all fucking day yall, pray fa me.....

Why Wednesday

2009-04-08T09:00:00.001-04:00

Chrissy's Why's

why i hate stress

why i am stressed too much

why i feel like the fuckin weight of the world is on my gotdamn shoulders every fucking day

why i woke up with a headache 2 mornings in a row

why nodays sent me an invitation to his blog, i get there read finna comment, nigga aint got a comment box

why i should prolly link his blog since i just mentioned him

why i am too lazy to do that tho

why i am sure yall know that nigga blog name so yall will hit him up soon

why my cuticles a mess

why me posting these whys is pointless cause no one visits our fledgling blog anymore

Bammy's Why's

why i still love our blog and our readers tho.....

why am I eating dry rice krispies, you want some???

WHY am I so ready for this LOOooong weekend?

WHY working is over-rated?

WHY I'm still looking for a suga daddy?

WHY a rice krispy just dropped down into my bra?

WHY I got some concern's about some tv shows but i'll drop em in the comments.

WHy for the last few weeks I've worked so hard it don't even make no sense?

What If.......

2009-04-06T08:39:00.000-04:00

NEW POST IDEA, imma ask some what if questions, and i want yall to answer em in the comment section, got it?????? GOOD lets go......

what if obama aint have a plan?

what if michael jackosn hadda never had them nose jobs and skin bleachings?

what if this bitch keep asking me to smell her perfume samples?

what if i spazzed out and slapped her ass?

what if when bammy read this post, she laughs so hard she slobs or some gross shit like that/

what if her crackberry dont get service?

what if this black bassard that is a tech that works here aint have an attitude everyday?

what if his black ass got some ass?

what if i said that is what i think he need to change that STANK ASS attitude he got?

what if bobble really name da bebbie burl?

what if i told yall that danger looks like the rapper m.i.a to me?

WHAT IF...........YALL ASSES ACTUALLY ANSWERED MY QUESTIONS....LOL

Why Wednesday

2009-04-01T09:00:00.000-04:00

Bammy's Why's

Why I thought yesterday was Wednesday?

Why sometimes I don't remember if I put on deordorant?

Why then I have to sniff my underarms to be sure?

Why I just did that?

Why I'm skrate, I smell flower fresh.

Why deordorants think women wanna smell like flowers or like baby powder or some ish?

Why that's all I got for the why's right now?

Chrissy's Why's

why imma say i like smelling like baby powder bammy, lol

why i sprinkle a taste of powder in my undies to keep me poppin fresh

why that was TMI

why ppl never call the blind boy on american idol by his name they refer to him as the blind boy

why am i sitting back in my chair chllaxin like i aint got shit to do when i got work coming out my ears

why imma need the why's to POP like New York's beach ball titties

why my daughter had these history questions i couldnt answer for homework

why i told her i would help as much as i could seeing as i slept throo all of history when i was in school

why i am glad that she dont have to turn the shit in till thursday cause out them 30 questions i may have answered 5 and iono even know if them are right

why i brought the questions to work with me so i can google the answers

why i wanna know why the teachers feel that knowing who de fuck daniel boone is or davy crockett is benefical to a student when they grown n shit

why i aint never had to answer who the fuck they were on a job application

why nobody ever ask me who they are when i call to pay my light bill

why nobody ever call and ask me who they are here @ work

why that proves my point, i dont need to remember who the fuck fought and won @ the alamo cause i dont use that shit right now today @ this moment in time

why they need to teach kids realistic shit in school

why imma save what i think they should teach kids and add em to the comment section.....

Movies U Should Cop.....

2009-03-31T09:10:00.000-04:00

BEFORE U DIE.....we compiled a list, as usual, lol here @ 2DB of movies we feel yall should watch before u leave this here earth. Maybe you have seen the ones we will list, maybe not, if not COP EM we wouldnt steer u wrong here @ 2DB, and when u done reading our list, tell us movies that you think we should cop as well, if we aint copped em already.....ok READY, SET, GO!!

CHRISSY'S PICKS

*Slingblade, this movie put cha boy Billy Bob Throton on the map, he wrote, directed, and starred as Slingblade, a man who is let out of a mental institution after like 20 some odd yrs into society, he befriends a boy blah blah, womp womp, really serious ass movie yall, tell me why i laugh like its a fucking comedy when i watch it tho.....it won some Oscars i think.....cop it

*Gone With the Wind, made into a movie by the book that was written by Margaret something or other...... COP DIS SHIT cause Scarlett was a GANGSTA BITCH in this movie she was a bonafide ho before ho was even a word. See, her ass was in love with her sister in law's man, and he aint want her, but she had another dude named Rhett who would have gave her the world but her ass was so caught up with ole boy, she aint see it, so Rhett got tired of that shit and left her muthafucking ass, AFTER he had endured her treating him like crap ANNNNNNNNNNND he got her back on top of her game n shit after the war, helped her keep her family's land n shit, this movie won like 10 Oscars.......cop it

Goodfellas, one of my fav movies, Joe pesci was a sociopath in it, Robert DeNiro was a fool in it too, and Ray Liota got like a breakout role or whatever.....based on a true story about this dude named Henry Hill who ended up being the biggest fucking snitch EVAH in the history of snitches, good ass movie tho i am almost sure Joe Pesci got an Oscar for his role in it, iono, google it and cop t he movie

*Fast Times @ Ridgemont High, lmmfao and dont cop it so u can see the girl coming out the pool and unleashing her tits out the bikini, watch it cause Sean Penn is in it playing a dude named Spicolli, who stay higher than a fucking hot air baloon FUNNY ASS SHIT.....

*Frailty, good ass psychological typa movie about this man who is raising his 2 sons to be serial killers, NO SHIT.....lol Matthew McConaughey in it, and some mo ppl that are stars in they own right, cop it if u like them movies that have u thinking one thing then it ends totally different from what u thought......

*Where the Heart Is, this movie aint win no oscars, lol iono even know if ppl watch this sides me and my daughter, its one of our fav movies bout this girl played by Natalie Portman, who has a shitty ass life, she gets pregnant by this ole nothing ass man he leave her @ a wal-mart, blah blah womp womp, long story short, her life turns out for the better, she raises her kid and the movie ends happily ever after......

BAMMY'S PICKS

In no paticular order:

Clueless (CLASSIC...lmao)

Sound of Music

The illusionist

Lord of the Rings (all of em)

Revenge of the Nerds (all of em)

Scarface

Braveheart

V for Vendetta

Steel Magnolia's

Friday

and two for good luck Reservoir Dogs (love that movie) and Kill Bill.

Maybe Monday's

2009-03-30T09:30:00.000-04:00

Well, seeing as we aint done a post since last Wednesday, i figured it was high time we hit yall off with a fresh one.......

*Maybe me and Bammy's blog bout to just give up on us like we have it

*Maybe i shouldnt have had that nasty sausage n biscuit from mickey d's this morning

*Maybe i was hungry as hell so i scarfed that shit down like Shaggy be scarfing them weird sammiches on scooby doo

*Maybe Bammy playing with her new Blackberry, hence why her ass aint answer my e-mail

*Maybe i cant blame her, she BEEN wanting one

*Maybe i betta do my work

*Maybe this day gon go by fast and eventful, altho i doubt it

*Maybe i will stop having these nightmares with Lil Wayne in em

*Maybe i will cook today

*Maybe not......

Why Wednesday

2009-03-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

Bammy's Why's

Why I every morning I keep telling myself I'm not going to complain about my job...but then i get here and sh!t just irks the hell outta me?

Why I use to meditate every night before I go to bed but I stopped?

Why I think I need to start again but I need to do it while I sit in the car before I walk in to my place of employment?

Why is working over-rated?

Why I got a bunch of money in my wallet but I can't spend it how I want to?

Why that sucks?

Why my brother says he knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy that is selling Blackberry's for under $200 bucks?

Why am I so geeked about that and I told him to hurry up and get me one before they are all gone?

Why the ish better have wi-fi though.

Why I'm finished for now.

Chrissy's Why's

why i hate ciara's new song

why it just sucks ass

why i have some concerns bout from pansies to pussies but i forgot em

why i just remembered em....

why i cant stand blue bitch ass

why i cant wait to tell shep dat shit

why i cant stand mito either

why all dem niggas in that house a bunch of girlz

why i really aint got too many why's

why i am afraid that when i bend over ppl gon see my thong if i dont move my shirt down quick nuff

why niggas here will prolly love that tho

why this one dude who work here make me wanna slap him or scream everyday

why yall why's better be betta than mine....

why i was watching that T.I. road to federal pen BS, and Tiny was on there, and her voice sounds like an annoying mouse

why that spalins why she never sang too much when she was in xscape

why she reminds me of jerry from tom n jerry

why they got some cute kids tho

I Hate....

2009-03-24T11:30:00.000-04:00

googlfied pic

the following things bout my job and the ppl i work with:

*I hate when ppl ask me for shit like needle and thread, or a safety pin, no lie i get asked stuff like that all the time and it makes me wonder, do these fools think that i am they momma and they receptionist???? De fuck i look like having needle n thread in my purse like i am mary poppins or some shit?

*I hate when ppl invade my lil ole space, stepping all in it and looking for shit in my cubby hole, in my drawers like i aint even sitting here, its this one dude who work here got that shit bad fool just picks up my cup o pens and start digging for what he wanna use, yall know how many times i had to snatch my cup back from him till he stopped dat shit???? SEVERAL for some reason fool aint get the message till i told him DIS MY SHIT RESPECT It!

*I Hate when ppl ask me what song is playing on my radio like i am the nuthafucking DJ, and i can change the song @ they request n discretion. If u feel disgusted with Soulja Boy, if you dont get Jazmine Sullivan, if Keri Hilson voice grate ya nerves, get the fuck out my space, and call K104 and request what de fuck u wanna here and stop asking me what T-Pain mean when he say snap ya fangers and do ya step....

*I Hate it when i am on the phone, OBVIOUSLY on the phone too yall, i mean phone stuck to a nigga ear, and ppl still wanna hold convo's with me like i got it like that to hold two seperate convo's @ the same time.....Sure i can multi-task i do it all day everyday but i cant talk to you, when i am focusing on getting the gossip from my homie on the other line

*I hate it when ppl just assume cause i am black, i know all things black, why i have this yt dude come and ask me one time if i ever ate oxtails before.....**crickets**.............................. NO I AINT NEVER ATE THAT SHIT BEFORE CAUSE IT SOUND NASTY AS FUCK TO ME AND I PROLLY NEVER WILL EAT ANY THANK YA KINDLY......

*I hate when ppl come in off da skreet asking if we have any job openings, then i spalin to em the deal, and iono its like they think if they run me they sob story i will take pity on em and hire em, sorry, i aint got the authority, all i can do is take yo resume, stick it in my manager inbox and keep it movin. I know its a recession i am living in this day and age too, and yeah i get you got bills to pay, so do I, matter fact i have pink notices in my shit so often, my kids think its normal, but telling me all yo issues aint gon do nothing in yo pursuit of a job with this company

*I hate when ppl call here and say the following:

a. Umm what do yall do @ this company

b. Someone just called me from this number, can u tell me who

c. Can i have Joe Black @ extension 5678

d. Do u speaka spanish

*And this is what i would LIKE to say when i have to hear them questions:

a.DE FUCK i just say when i answered the gotdamn phone, use ya brain and u tell me what u think we do here, cause imma tell u now I ANSWER THE GOTDAMN PHONE AND DEAL WITH PPL LIKE YO ASS ALL DAMN DAY

b.Well, i guess if i was born with psychic ablilities, yeah i could tell u who de fuck just called u, but since them psychic ablities skipped my ass when God was handing out DNA i can only tell u that its bout 150 ppl who work here and just as many phones, so check ya voicemail see if the mystery person left u a message then call me back, we can t ake it from there

c. STOP HALT HOLD THE PRESSES when u said u needed Joe Black, yo ass was already throo to him and he prolly done picked up by the time u got throo saying the word at, if i know the person name, I GOT YOU i aint gotta hear the extension to put you throo, and vice versa so stfu and tell me one or the other and get the fuck out my ear with that long winded ass shit..

d.DE FUCK language was i speaking when i answered the gotdamn phone, did it SOUND like spanish to you?????? Did u hear a taste of spanish in my voice? NAW I DONT SPEAK SPANISH GOTDAMN IT and if u spoke english u would know that I DONT SPEAK SPANISH.....

just thought i'd vent a lil bout what i hate bout my job.....lol yall turn

CYAO Ugly List

2009-03-19T09:45:00.000-04:00

Talking to a homie over in one of the many chitty boxes i visit on a regular, and we started talking bout ugly celeb men. We was kinda putting em in categories, saying who was ugly, and who was not too ugly, and who was CHEW YA ARM OFF UGLY

Ladies, we have all been there, we wake up kinda hungover, cant really remember the previous nights events, till some loch ness monster looking nigga starts snoring next to you and u stifle a scream cause u scared to wake his ass up, 1st thing that pops into ya head is if i could just chew my damn arm off i could escape and he will never know i was even here right???? well, maybe not that drastic, but u catch my drift, lol shout out to tini for giving me a post idea, yall hit her blog up after yall catch the CYAO list below...... http://www.martiniandscotch.com/

Craig Mack-need i say more? If i had to wake up in his bed, trust imma chew my arm off before he open them oogly eyes of his....

Bobby Valentino-iono why, but ever since i saw his ass in the Ms.Officer video with Lil Wayne looking like a kid in a halloween costume in that cop getup, lmao his shortness makes him CYAO ugly....

Biggie-RIP to him but yeah he even said he was black and ugly as evah.....

ODB-RIP to him as well but we all know he is CYAO ugly...

Rick Ross-what video it was i cant remember but that big ole fat slovenly sloppy ass man had the nerve to be shirtless with his titties all out, and he kinda cock eyed so yeah CYAO goes to him too

Boyz II Men-ALL OF EM yup all four of em, wanya was just too plump and gay, shawn reminded me of a pencil with a good eraser on it, the big lipped one had his mouth hanging open all t he time, and the last deep voiced one, well he really wasnt ass ugly as his homeboys so imma just give him a pass....

Jay-Z-iono care what nobody say, i know everytime Bey see J coming her ass say goooooooooooootdamn here this ugly ass nigga come with them dumb ass glasses on making him look studious and ruined all in one.....

Forrest Whitaker-lmao lets check his stats, cock eyed, big, black ugly, wait, he sounds like my type of man, never mind him then, he justgot a touch of CYAO in him

Bokeem Woodbine-Yall know him cause he in every damn black movie that was ever made since 1992 weather it be a bit part or a starring role, Can't get Right in Life, Allen Payne's wayward brother in Jason's Lyric, and CYAO Ugly in real life.....lmao

YALL TURN who is on yall CYAO List.....list em startingggggggggggggggggggggg NOW..

Why Wednesday

2009-03-18T08:10:00.000-04:00

Bammy's Why's

Why this whole Bammy being blocked from the innanet is really starting to piss me off?

Why because of it, our poor blog is feeling neglected and our numbers are down a lot?

Why this sh!t is just not cool?

Why Chrissy an I need to brainstorm and fix this?

Why I woke up with a headache?

Why nowadays I really don't feel like doing any kind of work?

Why I got a whole lot of why's I need to get off my chest?

Why the main one is why the why's have been slipping as of late?

Chrissy's Why's

why bammy really sound upset bout the blog tho lol

why i guess she right we need to step it up

why when i said step it up i thought of that step up 2 movie take it to da streets

why the title of that shit is dumb

why i never seent not nan one of them step up movies

why am i why'n bout shitty movies

why i am @ peace and i am shocked by it

why i aint mad bout some shit like i thought i was gon be

why i be glad when breakfast get here cause i am hunbry as all get out

why i really aint got no major why's

why imma try to think of random shit to why bout tho so these why's can get on and poppin

Fill in the blank....

2009-03-17T08:45:00.000-04:00

GOOGLEFIED PIC

NEW GAME!! We brainstormed for bout 10 mins or so, lol and came up with this game, fill in the blank, all yall gotta do is fill the blanks in with whatever u like, the more ridiculously silly it is, the betta. LET'S DO THIS!!

________ & ____________ should never be locked in the same room together.

_______ & _________ secretly want each other

someone needs to tell ______________ that they need to go retire...

________ needs a hug because it's obvious they ___________ . If I ever met _________ I'd

_______________. In their dreams _______ ,dreams about being a

_____________ . _________ should never make another movie cause

_______________. If ____________ had a televison show it would be called

______________. If _________ was a porn star the name of their first movie would be _________________.

2009-03-16T09:10:00.000-04:00

Old game from the haloscan days.......ROLL WITH IT....(shouts out to bobble our 3rd never silent partner for posting the reminiscing thread on MN cause that is where i got the refurbished idea from to do this post....lol)

Bammy's Dreams

I have a dream that on top of sick and vacation days companies will give you EFF it days, days where you can call in and be like EFF it, i just don't wanna come in today.

I have a dream that Amber Rose and Kanye West will stop matching when they go out..the hell they think they are the double mint twins?

I have a dream that I found me a rich, handsome and loving sugar daddy to spoil me.

I have a dream that Duke will win the 2009 NCAA basketball championship.

I also have a dream that my roommate will stop eating these nasty arse chips so early in the damn morning having the the entire office smelling like sweaty feet!

Chrissy's Dreams

I have a dream that this day will go by fast, as well as this week

I have a dream that somebody brangs in some doughnuts this morning cause i am STARVING

I have a dream that Beyonce will just take a vacation and let another female get her turn @ this diva shit.....

I have a dream that Diddy will stop fucking up ppls career's n shit

I have a dream that yall will come in here and dream with us.....

DREAM BIG!!

Why Wednesday

2009-03-11T10:02:00.001-04:00

*why aint nothing major to why bout

*why i am doin these why's tho outta habit

*why dru hill played out?

*why i smell good

*why its prolly cause i bathe on a regular

*why i got a feeling the why's gon be slow

*why mariah in that new dream video bothers me

*why her ass stay tryna act hood

*why she bout as hood as lil hood on for the love of ray j

*why i be dancing @ my desk and ppl think i am crazy

*why i really dont care what they think

*why its something i am supposed to do but for the life of me i cant remember what it is...

*why i hope whatever it is it aint life threating cause i shole have no clue what i was supposed to do

Open Letter

2009-03-10T08:12:00.000-04:00

Fella's of the world,

This open letter is for you. This topic has no doubt been discussed for years, centuries even, and yet we really don't have a clear cut answer. The question and matter at hand is, will you men holla at anything that has a sexy walk and lady lumps? ( I used the term lady loosely) Seriously, there are men out there that STILL want to spit game to Super (i got a detachable vajayjay and esophagus)head. Really? That lady, no, lady ain't the right term...that woman, no, woman don't really suit her either...That lot lizard has been around the block like 50-11 times and men will STILL holla.

It's a mind boggling thing for real women to grasp. Is it the fact that you don't think you'll be turn down by lot lizards,scallywags and gutterbutt trollops that persuades you to holla at them? Will you indeed holla at anything with a fat ass in a skirt?Now we don't mean to generalize but we're sure that every man at one time has holla'd at a female of questionable pedigree.Now we understand that every man his preferred preference in a lady friend but spitting game to skee'o's not only makes you look questionable but it gives them footdraggers confidence that they really don't need.

We would like to be wrong but I don't think we are. It's a self esteem thing huh? We are honestly curious about this topic, Will men holla at anything? Prove us worng that you all aren't the mindless, sex driven creatures you're thought to be...

Signed,

The Real Ladies of Two Ditzy Broads

I Hate Mondays.....

2009-03-09T08:40:00.000-04:00

Bammy's Reason's

I hate Mondays cause you gotta wait 5 whole days til you can be off again.

I hate Mondays cause it interrupts the weekend.

I hate Mondays cause it's the first day back to work after the weekend.

I hate Mondays cause ain't nothing good on TV (you can't count House cause they just moved it to Monday)

I hate Monday cause it's usually the longest day of the week.

Chrissy's Reason's

I hate Monday cause it aint my payday

I Hate Monday cause all they do round dis bitch is have meetings all day long

I Hate Monday cause that is when the 3 most annoying ppl come in here delivering/fixing shit

I Hate Monday cause my kids come home from school with backpacks full of shit i have to sign, do, or pay for before the week is over.....