tag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1762297 2009-04-27T08:00:10-07:00 humor column TypePad tag:typepad.com,2003:post-66067039 2009-04-27T08:00:10-07:00 2009-04-27T08:00:10-07:00

The posterior of a fêted leader. The whim of the feckless, and bored. Geometric progressions. Rum. A pregnant sea lifts a surfer and floats him across its concave surface. The surfer becomes transfixed by the water sliding underneath him –...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/1225315751s25286/crimeny/~4/JDx3DFA3hKI" height="1" width="1"/>

Ryan Skinner http://redwood.typepad.com/crimeny/2009/04/what-is-powerful.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-59692656 2008-12-08T14:15:04-08:00 2008-12-08T14:15:04-08:00

“Excuse me, is this some kind of joke?” And before I could answer, “because I find all of this very irregular. Is this supposed to be some kind of exercise in lateral thinking? Or a situational contingency?” “I’m afraid I...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/1225315751s25286/crimeny/~4/PH3N-uO3_S0" height="1" width="1"/>

Ryan Skinner http://redwood.typepad.com/crimeny/2008/12/the-demise-of-another-crystal-ship-part-2-of-2.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-59361174 2008-12-02T09:22:07-08:00 2008-12-02T09:22:07-08:00

We try not to make a habit of destroying job-seekers. We’re a panty-waist company. Quite literally, we make panty-waists, and other elasticized liners (you just can’t imagine the utility value of a good panty-waist in countless industrial tasks!). Take the...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/1225315751s25286/crimeny/~4/usapdD1KNUA" height="1" width="1"/>

Ryan Skinner http://redwood.typepad.com/crimeny/2008/12/the-demise-of-another-crystal-ship-part-1-of-2.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-59042816 2008-11-25T14:20:28-08:00 2008-11-25T14:20:28-08:00

Did you know that American charities generate as much as 6 billion dollars every year? Even a small charity like Hip-Hop Widows for Gun Control pulled in several million in tax-deductible donations in 2007. Charities connected to a major religion...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/1225315751s25286/crimeny/~4/gL6bJlPvY4I" height="1" width="1"/>

Ryan Skinner http://redwood.typepad.com/crimeny/2008/11/join-the-past-relief-team.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-58898966 2008-11-22T03:30:00-08:00 2008-11-22T03:30:00-08:00

Dear Editor, I consider myself one of the broader-minded citizens of this liberal republic of ours. I believe the death penalty is inhumane, multiculturalism a plus, racism abominable, open inquiry a godsend and liberal education the bedrock of our future...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/1225315751s25286/crimeny/~4/x_bAbggR2oI" height="1" width="1"/>

Ryan Skinner http://redwood.typepad.com/crimeny/2008/11/color-politics.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-58689640 2008-11-18T13:20:02-08:00 2008-11-18T13:20:02-08:00

Che cazzo vuoi! Eh? What’s this? I fall asleep with Frerreta and now this? Quella ragazza! Cabron! What is this business I’m wearing? I look like a pazzo. And Freretta? Where is she? Who is this chica next to me?...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/1225315751s25286/crimeny/~4/d0o03MGmm-c" height="1" width="1"/>

Ryan Skinner http://redwood.typepad.com/crimeny/2008/11/royalty.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-58136122 2008-11-06T13:31:37-08:00 2008-11-06T13:31:37-08:00

Hey, marathon runners! Yeah you marathon runners! Listen up! Put away the Powerbar for a quick second and listen! Listen now, goddamn you marathon runners! You’re flirting with disaster. Not the kind of disaster that clings between your ass cheeks...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/1225315751s25286/crimeny/~4/wzuCFwXRiSk" height="1" width="1"/>

Ryan Skinner http://redwood.typepad.com/crimeny/2008/11/one-tough-monke.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-57748487 2008-10-29T14:57:19-07:00 2008-10-29T14:57:19-07:00

Hi, y’all. I’m Satan. It’s nice to meet you here tonight. I’ve never met most of you. Perhaps I should tell you all a little about myself. Would you like that? Would you like Lucifer to tell you a bit...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/1225315751s25286/crimeny/~4/UglEOgAWGK4" height="1" width="1"/>

Ryan Skinner http://redwood.typepad.com/crimeny/2008/10/public-service.html