Mom to the Screaming Masses

Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head

2012-01-27T16:15:47-05:00

I went to TRX/Kettlebells today - a friend of mine is the instructor and he invited me.

It was a *great* class and I left totally drenched and exhausted. And very, very happy, for that's my favorite way to feel after exercise.

On my way to class, the sky looked very much like this:

And while we were busy sweating and cursing, the skies opened up and the rain fell. It pelted the roof and sounded quite as if it would come through at one point.

Leaving class, I was behind a very small little boy, maybe not quite 2, and his grandmother. He was properly attired for the weather, wearing the smallest little black boots and a dark blue raincoat. He was buttoned snuggly inside, hood up over his cute little face. When he saw the rain, his entire body broke out into excited wiggles. I could hear him from several feet away.

"Is WAINING! Wook! Is WAIN!" and he ran out of the door, lifted his face to the sky, and as the rain pelted him in the face, he laughed some more.

From my vantage point behind him, I saw his grandma, who joined him in laughter. Looking around us, though, I noticed that *everyone* else was not laughing. No, people were hunched over, frantically trying to keep dry and get out of the rain post haste.It was a heavy rain, no doubt, and I really didn't have any desire to drive home soaked to the skin and shivering - but his delirium was infectious. I watched him stomp in the puddles with his grandma, giggling at the water and listened to his shrieks of excitement and I wondered -

When do we lose that love of being in the rain? Why do we hate rainy days so, so much? Other than the fact that a rainy day makes me long for a nap, why else would one dread the rainy days?

I drove home, pondering this, and soon saw my answer. In the form of a three car accident, where two of the drivers had gotten out of their cars, leaving the driver doors open into on coming traffic. They stood toe to toe, nose to nose, and screamed at each other, headless of the oncoming traffic, ready to either remove their doors or their lives as they vilified each other over a rear end collision. Fingers pointing, forehead veins popping, furiously, frantically screaming their fury.

Oh, yeah. THAT'S why we hate the rain.

That, and the fact that it makes people drive 20 under the speed limit.

How is it Thursday Already?

2012-01-26T21:27:41-05:00

I know I'm getting old when I say something like this, but, for realz - where did this week go?

I have not dropped the ball on Project 366, although I have been faithfully chronicaling my days with my phone. Let's use the photos to see what I've been up to - play along as if you are interested. Please. It will make me feel so much better.

On Tuesday evening, we decided that we needed to spend some time together as a family, and we joined the school at Family Skate Night. I skated. Typically, I don't skate, but I decided that I really needed to blow off some steam/get some exercise/join in the fun because lots of other moms were doing it - and so I skated. I'm actually a pretty good skater - I should be, for my mom spent lots of money and time on skate lessons. To my everlasting despair, though, I was never able to skate backwards.

The carpet, I'm pleased to report, is still the same.

Project 24/366

Wednesday, I decided that enough was enough and I went in search of some relief from the cold that has been having it's way with me off and on since the middle of November. And I came home with a Z pack. Sinus infection, ftw!

Project 25/366

One thing that has been a constant this week is Emma's love of sewing. My mom taught her to do a 9 patch, and she has been feverishly sewing.

Project 26/366

She also took a crochet lesson this week, and we now are the proud owners of an 8 foot length of - crochet links - whatever the correct term for it might be. Now she needs to figure out how to turn it and make something that, you know, actually IS something.

And so here ends one of the most boring blog posts you will ever read - but at least everyone is breathing and no oxygen tanks were used. And so I'll take it. :)

Afternoon Frivolity

2012-01-24T21:35:53-05:00

So, today was interesting.

My son has had a cold for quite some time, and in the manner of a true asthmatic, it settled into his lungs. Where it has rattled around for quite a while, steadily creeping into just a bit more but maybe it's not anything to be alarmed about yet but maybe it is and let's just treat it with some more medicine and maybe let's add this one and for kicks, just one more -

and then today we ended up in the allergist office, getting back to back breathing treatments that were tethered to an oxygen tank, with steroids added. And there were tears and tantrums and yelling and screaming - and maybe some of that was me and maybe it wasn't.

I'm just saying it was a rough day for some of us. We left with a handful of prescription papers, diagnosed with asthma (which sounds so vanilla and bland and is nowhere near descriptive enough for the feeling of breathing underwater through a straw while your ankles are cemented to the ground and your great big uncle sits on your chest) as well as infected eczema.

It was a day. And then we went to Target.
After we dropped off the prescriptions, we had 30 minutes to kill. I love to kill me some time in a Target, and I had two girls and a boy with me, so of course we went to the toy aisles. The girls wanted to hover all around the pink aisle, and the boy child was desperate to handle some Star Wars Lego something or another, and so I did the old "Stand at the end of the aisle so that I can see both sets of kids at the same time" and let them look. The boy child asked permission to walk to the other end of the aisle and look at CALL OF DUTY - a game that I have yet to approve that has a siren call people over 40 cannot hear.
We aren't buying it, that's what I mean to say.

While he was looking at it, he was approximately 8 feet from me. Across the aisle. No further.

"Hey there, do you go to XX school?"

I looked away from my daughters - who I had just looked at - and back to my son, to see a man talking to him. I could hear every word. My son was wearing his school uniform, with the school name embalzoned across the chest. It's not exactly inconspicious, and my son answered in the affirmative.

"Do you like that school?"

My eyebrows furrowed, and I wondered why this man - who had no shopping cart, carried no merchandise and had no one else with him - was talking to my son. My mommy radar was not yet blaring, but the volume had kicked up a notch.

My son said yes once again. He's a polite boy, one who doesn't like to cause drama and will not say anything negative to any adult.

"What grade are you in? How old are you?"

With that, the mommy radar BLARED and I called my son over to me. Right then.

I'd had enough.

We stood in the aisle for a minute talking about what happened, and the man, who had walked away, came back. He explained that he and his wife attended a different church and were interested in the school.

I don't care. I didn't say anything to him.

Maybe it was exactly like he said. Maybe. I don't care.

When we got to the car, I explained to the kids why I didn't like it. My kids didn't understand - to them, if an adult asks you a question, you answer it. It's rude to ignore an adult to them.

I'm going to try to figure out the words to explain without using the words that scare.

Now, pardon me while I go try to search through my house for something sweet to eat. My nerves, they be shot today.

Stream of Consciousness - January 22

2012-01-22T08:33:33-05:00

Well. This should be interesting, as there is a TON of stuff rattling around in my brain - much to none of it related, so what better place to dump it than a stream of consciousness? Put on your seat belts and lets get started!

1 - I lost my job with Diets in Review. I've written for them for close to three years and, honestly, this was a total shock to me. I was told it wasn't me, but it was a staffing decision.Keep me in mind if you hear of a writing gig - a paying one - because I could use the income. As could everyone, I'm sure.

2 - Based on that, all of us have to drop out of martial arts. That was how I paid for the lessons, and with that income gone - there go the lessons. Riley just started, and Emma was set to make her black belt in June. That was sucky, telling my kids.

3 - But not quite as sucky as telling them that "Big Al", a close family friend, died Saturday evening. He had stage 4 lung cancer and had been in the hospital for a while, and was in a medically induced coma in intensive care for the last week. But, damn, that was a terrible conversation to have to have. If you smoke, CUT that shit out. Now. There's nothing like seeing the faces of your older kids who went to the hospital to visit a man wasting away from this dreadful disease.

4 - Which, for those of you playing along, makes FIVE funerals in the first 3 weeks of January.

5 - I am sick, AGAIN. Sick in November, again in December, and again in January. Each and every time, it's the middle of the month. I went and bought the jumbo size bottle of sambucus, and once this passes, I'm going to try taking it every day and see how February goes.

6 - I'm going to be flying to CA at the end of the month for a can't yet be named job - and I will be in the incredibly weird position of flying for a job with very little income - so lay it on me - what are your favorite can be packed in a carry on snacks that aren't carb heavy, travel well and are filling?

7 - So, I'll have free time. Now, I guess is the time to get my house CLEANED and ORGANIZED. My husband, he will be so thrilled.

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.

Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.

Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.

Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.

Link up your post below.

Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Now…

1. Grab the button

(it’s over at Fadra's place)

2. Write your post.

3. Link up there.

Saturday Night Fun

2012-01-21T17:38:34-05:00

Thanks to a visiting relative, my kids have a new obsession:

Project 21/366

As "wordy" as I am, I have never been able to get into Scrabble. It does absolutely zero for me - but my kids love it.

I have a ton of stuff that means big and drastic changes for my family - but it'll have to wait until tomorrow.

We've got us a game to play.

The Underside of Joy - Blogher Book Club January Selection

2012-01-19T08:48:27-05:00

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

I'm an avid reader. Anyone who knows me or who has read this site for longer than, say, a minute - knows this about me. That's why I'm thrilled to be a part of the Blogher Book Club - which combines two of my favorite things. Books, and reading. We are now reading The Underside of Joy.

The premise of this book is anything but simple. What happens to you when your life, and in reality, the entire life you've created with your spouse, changes in a flash? Do you have an emergency plan?

Ella loses her husband in a freak accident, and she's left with the two children she's come to think of as her own - the steo children she's raised for years after their mother left. When the step mother shows up at the funeral and decides that she wants to resume her realtionship with the children she abandoned, Ella is fiercely determined to put a cease and desist on the entire matter. But things aren't always what they seem. Those you think are truly evil and need no pity are oftentimes those who need pity the most. Those you think are 100% in the right are sometimes not. This is a book that will leave a mark on you, and you begin to second guess what you thought would be the correct answer. Ultimately, the decision made is one that you never saw coming, and yet, it is the only one that could have ever been fair.

I hate that word. Fair. Life is anything but fair.

Come and join our discussion - Are you prepared for a personal emergency?

It really made me stop and think - what would I do if I was in the same situation?

I highly recommend this book; I found it gripping and honest and the entire situation all too authentic.

I Fail at Commitment

2012-01-18T14:10:46-05:00

Or I have a need to be committed, I have yet to decide.

I struggle with follow through. I'm a grand one for saying - yes, I will certainly do this or that, even if it requires a repetitive practice for months at a time -

Although I *did* finish NaBloPoMo last year, and I *did* make my Black Belt - those are oddities.

But even though I give up, I keep circling back and picking up. I'm not sure what that says about me - either I'm weak and give up too easily, or that I'm a glutton and keep coming back for more of the same.

Today I went back to Crossfit stuff. So I'm beginning again, I guess, with this stuff.

Project 18/366 - round 1 8:14, round 2 8:15, round 3 8:45. Executed with 8kg kettlebells - which are a bit over 17 pounds each. My arms, they be tired, yo. And my palms be blistery.

And to keep true to my promise, here's yesterday's photo:

Project 17/366 - the only one of my kids studies

Wanna lay odds on how long it'll take me to give up each of these? And, maybe, remember to use spell check when I type so fast!

Manners and Children - Especially Boys

2012-01-16T19:59:01-05:00

I am quite certain that I am opening up a can of worms here.

Schwick. (That's totally the sound of a pop top opening.)

But when did manners go out of style? I mean, I've heard people - mostly older - lament the lack of manners for years. I've tried, with a variety of success, to instill manners in my children. To say " yes ma'am" and " no sir", to hold the door and to avoid interrupting other people - especially adults.

I've been somewhat, moderately successful.

That is, I'm required to remind them at least once, but often that is all that is required. I definitely do not count myself an authority in this. But at least I'm trying. I need to give myself credit for that.I receive compliments on my children's PUBLIC behavior and that makes me happy - it's not a compliment for me but really for them. I see parents who don't value manners as much as I do, and although it makes me irritable - that's not the topic of this post.

When did it become A-OK for grownups to completely avoid manners when it comes to children - especially those who are not their own?

This story is 100% true. I'm not proud of the lack of manners which I exhibited.
I took my kids to the mall on Saturday. We were there to buy new sneakers and get hair cuts. It was cold outside. Very cold for us, not a record breaker, but cold. As we approached the door, I instructed my son to grab the door.
(In our house, I have instructed the boys to hold the door for ladies. I do not care if you consider it chauvinistic or out of date or whatever. The girls have been told to hold the door as well, but if a guy is there, I expect them to take a few quick steps ahead and open the door. My husband does it. My dad did it. My husband's dad does it. I'm all for equal rights, but I have taught the door holding rule).

Sue me.

My son grabbed the door, and as he did, we all noticed that there was a woman, maybe in her mid 40's, getting ready to come through with a couple of bigger bags in her hands. " Guys, hold up. Let her come through." My kids - those not holding the door - backed away - and she shoved through the door as if she was a fullback. She shoved the door hard enough that it knocked my child sideways, and said not one word to him. My kids went through, and then so did I, and as loudly as I could, I said, "Thank you for holding the door for us!"

Which caused the errant shopper to turn around, shoot me a black look and let out a huff. I know because I turned to see what she'd do. Because I knew it was wrong and I knew it was rude and, God help me - I absolutely did not care.

There were other shoppers coming behind us, and my son held the door for the entire family - who all managed to thank him. When he came into the store, he asked, "Why didn't she say thank you?" to which I replied, "Sometimes adults are rude." Ouch. Not the right response, because the family behind heard and the mom said to her husband, " Didn't I say thank you? I'm sure I did."

I felt like a total ass. Which I should have, because I was. Two rudes most emphatically do not make a right.

I apologized to them, explaining that it wasn't the right thing for me to do, and that I was frustrated.

Because I am.

So, so frustrated.

This isn't the first time that this has happened. More like the 250th. Time and again, I see adults plow past kids, cut them off in conversation, ignore them when they wait to ask a question.

I fail at this. All of the time, I fail at being polite. I snap out answers and sarcastic comebacks with the best of them, and use my words as weapons, designed to draw the first blood. After all, if I hurt you first, you might not be able to hurt me.

Maybe, just maybe, part of the reason that polite children grow up to be sullen impolite teens is that their early kindness goes unappreciated. Sure, there's an age aspect to it - hormones go crazy and teens epitomize self centered - but maybe, they've learned that it doesn't matter. They've seen their parents shove past little kids and run over other people with their strollers and cut other drivers off.

There's a boundary, to be certain, when it comes to politeness. (The following is my opinion ONLY and you do not need to tell me how wrong I am.) Children should learn to wait until adults have finished talking, for a space in the conversation, instead of plowing through with their wants and needs. I often tell my kids, "You can interrupt if it contains a fire or blood or a robbery." it's a bit over the top, but I'm trying for a more broad understanding. This is the same concept that applies to walking through doors when other people are holding them - politeness makes the world go 'round.

Well, that, and money.

I'm trying to balance their need to be heard with my desire to teach them to be polite. Because the world doesn't care if their shoe has come untied or if a sister took their book. In short, I'm trying to teach my kids that the world doesn't revolve around them. That they AREN'T the most important person in the world, but one of many that must get along with as many people as possible. It's a lesson that I think has gone haywire in the past 50 years - as we've tried to transfer from the often brutal Children should be seen and not heard! to the limp wristed Everyone has a self esteem like a fragile flower and we must do our best to make everyone feel important all the ding-danged day long.

The "Everyone gets a trophy!" mindset.

And, yes, I'm aware that I sound curmudgeonly and well beyond my years.

We should all be kind. Smile. Help each other out. Be NICE, damnit.

NO one needs this lesson more than me.

I've taken to reminding my kids - Is it kind? Is it polite? Is it necessary? If not, keep it to yourself. and I find myself muttering it all the flippin' day.

This post reminded me that people can be kind. They have before, and they will as long as time is fluid. We just need to make sure that we are being as kind as we can be, and modeling that behavior for our kids.

Something at which I failed this weekend, when all I wanted to do was succeed.

__________________________

Project 16/366 - We had four doctor appts today - 1 eye dr, 2 well checks and 1 orthodontist - that's what you do on your day off school 'round here.We live SUCH an exciting life. I did promise a photo a day, something that captures what we've been doing - I never said it'd be exciting. :)

Saturdays are Made for Errands

2012-01-14T22:40:19-05:00

Today was a busy day.

Not at first. I spent quite a chunk of time this morning, in bed, reading a very, very gripping book. I'll be doing a book review this week, but suffice it to say, it was the best book I've read in a long time.

Then I got up, and as the saying goes, the ____ hit the fan.

I took four kids and we trolled the city, looking everywhere, to find appropriate white sneakers for school. Think that's easy? Think again. I don't understand what it is with these kids, I mean, I just bought them shoes in August.

Then we went for haircuts. Three of my girls got their incredibly long hair cut. One of them lost more than 6 inches, and the other two 5.

Then we went for a two cart grocery spin. Man, I really know how to blow out the fun on a good day don't I?

The final topping: folding wash. WOW. I did it. A stereotypical housewife day.

How did you spend your Saturday?

Heart Attack on a Friday Afternoon

2012-01-13T21:53:14-05:00

Midway through the day, I realized that I had no clue where my wallet was. I searched and all of the usual hiding places, but it was nowhere to be found.

So I dumped my purse. Evidence as seen.

It wasn't in the purse, but I found multiple empty wrappers,funeral papers, squashed Lara bars and cough drops, and lots of other stuff that I had no clue was even in my bag.
But no wallet.
I panicked and started looking everywhere. I looked in the car, I looked all around the house, and I grew more and more frantic as I searched. Finally, after close to two hours, it was located: and I have no idea how it got in my raincoat. It wasn't raining the last time I remember seeing my wallet, I'm not in the habit of tucking my wallet into my coat, and I have absolutely zero memory of the entire scenario.

At least I got a clean purse out of the whole thing. From the looks of the mess I photographed, maybe it was a blessing in disguise.
Project 13/366