Recovery Support

2nd Annual Photo Contest of the National Eating Disorders Association

2010-07-01T08:23:53-07:00

Many of you know that I am an Ambassador with NEDA. Many of you also know that I absolutely love NEDA! In light of that, here is a message from NEDA about a cool photo contest:

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The theme for the photo contest is the NEDA 2010 Conference Theme: "Building Bridges to Recovery."

Rules, submission forms and more information here: http://www.myneda.org/uploads/photo_contest_2010%20PDF.pdf

Deadline: July 30th

If you are chosen as the winner of this contest, your photo may be used to promote our conference, it will be prominently displayed at the conference and you will be entered in a lottery to win cool NEDA Gear, including a NEDA T-shirt, water bottle, and more!

Thank you for your help in “Building Bridges to Recovery!”

http://www.myneda.org/uploads/photo_contest_2010%20PDF.pdf

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Good luck!

Hugs,

Jenni

"Imagine Me Beyond What You See" Body Image Mannequin Art Competition

2010-06-15T13:04:44-07:00

Are you creative? Do you want to help promote a healthy awareness and acceptance of body images? If you answered yes, this competition is for you. Here are details from iaedp™ :

Good luck!

Jenni

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Launched in 2010 in Orlando, at our 25th Anniversary Symposium, the Annual "Imagine Me Beyond What You See" Body Image Mannequin Art Competition was designed to promote a healthy awareness and acceptance of body images, held in conjunction with our Annual Symposium. The inaugural art piece (pictured below in pdf) was submitted by Elyse Oakley, a high school senior. It was auctioned at our fundraiser dinner at Symposium 2010.

PDF: http://www.iaedp.com/Imagine%20Me%20Brochure.pdf

More Details:

The "Imagine Me Beyond What You See" Body Image Mannequin Art Competition is open to everyone; however, iaedp™ is expressly asking treatment centers and private practices with art therapists to work with patients to provide entries.

Mannequins may be purchased online. They can be male or female forms and are available in different body shapes and sizes. Some retail stores may donate used mannequins, if asked. Mixed media may be used. (One source may be www.onlymannequins.com )

Entries must be electronically submitted to iaedp™ using photographs (jpeg high resolution file - 4 angles). Entries will be accepted beginning October 1, 2010 and the deadline for entries will be January 15, 2011. The winner will be spotlighted at iaedp's Annual Symposium, receive a financial award, their artwork will be used in iaedp™ symposium promotional mailings, and will be auctioned at the annual symposium with proceeds going to the iaedp™ Foundation.

Narrative about Ed

2010-05-23T14:05:28-07:00

Recently, I received an interesting email from Lindsay Gooze, who is a student at UCSD. She was assigned to write a narrative about a book and chose Life Without Ed. I am so honored that she chose my book as her inspiration that I wanted to share her story with you below.

Thanks, Lindsay! You are very creative and a great writer.

Best,

Jenni

Lindsay's Narrative

Jenni sobs and hysterically pounds on the door of her mother’s house. She staggers into the house as her mom opens the door. “Can I stay here tonight?” she manages through her tears. “Ed and I had a big fight.”

Jenni has bruises on her neck, she is dressed in baggy clothes, and her tired face looks worn beyond her years. Her mom is concerned but frustrated, since she has heard this story many times before. Like many other women in abusive relationships, Jenni has tried to end it on several occasions. But she remains trapped, despite the constant warning from her family and friends to get out of it before it is too late.

They are worried that staying with Ed could cost Jenni her life. Jenni’s physical and emotional health has already disintegrated.

She is a remnant of the person she used to be. She was captain of her high school volleyball team, a straight A-student, and a loyal friend. Jenni has isolated herself from the people and activities she once loved, ever since Ed came into her life. Long gone is the boisterous, happy-go-lucky Jenni who sung out loud to the radio with her friends and told jokes at the family dinner table.

Now Jenni’s every action is controlled by Ed, who acts like her personal drill sergeant by giving her orders and berating her for not performing to his liking in all aspects of her life. Sometimes Jenni hatred for Ed burns with an undeniable passion, but it pales in comparison to her self-hatred for staying with him for so long. The tragedy is not just in Ed’s abuse of Jenni, but also in Jenni’s faithful “love” for Ed. Jenni cannot picture herself living without Ed because she would not know what to do without his direction. She feels safe in his arms, and the thought of her unknown life without him leaves her frozen. After all Ed and Jenni have had some good times, his rigid regulations and strict authority once helped Jenni achieve some great things, and for a while, she even liked the person she was becoming.

Now she does not know she who she is anymore. She looks in the mirror and sees a shell of her former self. Her insides are empty, even though Ed promised to make them full.

Her mom cradles Jenni in her arms. Both mother and daughter know that Jenni has to break up with Ed once and for all. “I’m done with my E.D.” Jenni abbreviates his name because it is too painful to say. “I have to break up with my eating disorder,” Jenni says as she calls Ed out for who he really is.

Free Book Giveaway in Honor of Dr. Phil Show Appearance

2010-04-13T13:05:31-07:00

Hi everyone! In honor of my appearance on the Dr. Phil show today, my amazing publisher (Thanks, McGraw-Hill!) is going to give away a free set of my books --- that's one copy of LIFE WITHOUT ED and one copy of GOODBYE ED, HELLO ME. Click here for a link to the show details!

To win the books, all you have to do is be the 3rd person to email your vision of "recovered" to me at jenni@jennischaefer.com.I look forward to reading your visions of recovered. Just a sentence or two would be great!

Good luck :)

Jenni

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is here!

2010-02-23T09:14:43-08:00

I want to share with you (below) a piece I wrote for NEDAwareness Week:

IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT IT by Jenni Schaefer

A woman binges and purges each night, yet no one-not even her husband of twenty years-knows. A high school student runs himself to exhaustion daily at track practice, but his coach doesn't suspect how dangerous his routine really is. A ten-year-old girl throws away her lunch everyday at school, and her mom doesn't know it. These are just some of the faces of eating disorders-suffering in silence day-by-day. It's time to talk about it.

As many as 10 million females and 1 million males in the United States are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia. Approximately 15 million more are struggling with binge eating disorder. Many more cases go unreported because sufferers are afraid to talk about it. It's time for us to help them break through the secrecy and shame. If we all start talking, maybe they will, too.

We need to talk about how eating disorders are serious, life-threatening illnesses. While eating disorders may appear to be about food and weight, they are really about much more. Eating disorders are complex conditions that arise from a combination of longstanding behavioral, emotional, psychological, interpersonal, biological and social factors. Recent research shows that genetic factors create vulnerabilities like anxiety, compulsivity, and perfectionism that place individuals at a risk for acting on cultural pressures and messages to meet the unrealistic thin ideal-triggering destructive diet and exercise behaviors.

In the United States, we are inundated with messages-from radio and television to uninformed healthcare professionals-telling us that to be happy and successful, we must fit into society's impossible beauty standards. Eighty percent of all ten year olds are afraid of being fat. Eating disorders are on the rise and do not discriminate by age, sex, ethnicity, culture, or anything else. Tragically, over one person's lifetime, at least 50,000 individuals will die as a direct result of eating disorders. This must stop. We must take preventative action and advocate for better access to treatment. People can and do fully recover from eating disorders. I know, because I broke through the silence in my own life years ago. I told someone about my eating disorder, got professional help, and after years of hard work, I am healthy and happy today. I started talking, and I got better. Let's all start talking about eating disorders and recovery. Let's share the truth. It's time.

Visit www.myneda.org and learn about NEDAwareness Week 2010, February 21-27. Helpline: 800 931-2237

To see my list of appearances during the rest of this week (College Station TX and Philadelphia PA), please visit : http://www.jennischaefer.com/hello-wheres-jenni.htm I'd love to meet you in person!

Best,

Jenni

Event in Boulder, CO AND An Inspirational Story

2010-01-25T07:48:51-08:00

If you live in or around Boulder, Colorado, please join me for a FREE event this Thursday, January 28th. Details: http://www.jennischaefer.com/hello-wheres-jenni.htm

I recently met an amazing woman named Jennifer Garcia. She said I could share a story she wrote for her high school paper. Thanks, Jennifer! Here it is:

“No thanks, I’m full.”

This was my favorite phrase when I was at my worst.

I am Jennifer and I am in recovery from Anorexia Nervosa, an eating disorder characterized by the obsession of body image accompanied by restriction of food and fear of gaining weight. I have been struggling with my eating disorder for about three years now. As time grew on I became a slave to my eating disorder, and at the mercy of its relentless torture. After realizing this and seeking help I am now coming up on my first year anniversary in recovery. I have come a long way from where I was, and still have a long way to go.

I started noticing differences in my thoughts about myself in eighth grade. Thoughts of not being good enough, thoughts of frustration towards my own imperfection, and thoughts of self hatred. I didn’t know the path I was leading myself down or the agony I was about to face down this journey.

At first, it was only thoughts of restricting food, it then led to smaller meals, then skipping meals altogether, and onto restricting down to hardly anything. I was starving myself.

One of the biggest misconceptions of an eating disorder is that it’s about food. This is not the case, for eating disorders, whether it is restricting from anorexia, purging for bulimics, or binging for over eaters. It is a coping mechanism for underlying issues. My anorexia was a way to cope with certain emotions I didn’t know how to handle, whether it was sadness, anger, or anxiety.

I felt out of control, and the only thing I knew I could control is the way I eat. The only thing I fed was my detrimental strive for perfection. Slowly depriving myself of vital nutrients, I became incapable of deciphering between rational and irrational thoughts. What once were small complications throughout my day became overwhelming obstacles.

Night and day I obsessed over my imperfections and how to fix them, as a result I would elevate the unrealistic expectations I demanded of myself. I became good at my eating disorder, thinking and pursuing creative ways to fool other people, and to ultimately hurt myself more.

Lose more weight, make better grades, be a better person, gain self love, and never be seen as weak. I now realize that most of these were unobtainable goals with a lack of nutrition, sleep, confidence, and medical treatment.

I did a lot of self-research on what I was putting my body through, and determined what I thought was a step toward perfection, was really a step toward death. This eating disorder has several effects. To list a few outcomes, there is bone loss, heart failure, muscle deterioration, hair loss, malnutrition, mental instability, emotional instability, suicidal thoughts, and overall organ failure. I have suffered from most of these few consequences. It terrified me to see how badly my body was corroding.

So many others witnessed my struggle for my life. My family and friends who love me had to look in helplessly while I destroyed myself from the inside out because I was too ashamed to ask for help. My parents had to endure the emotional pain while they saw their daughter being slowly taken away from them. Thankfully due to some truth and fast action I will never know how close I came to my death bed.

January 21, 2009 at midnight, I accepted the fact I needed help. This was the beginning of my recovery. At first I thought I could recover on my own, thinking I was strong in my greatest moments of weakness. I learned the hard way it was impossible. I started by building a much needed support team. I had friends and family, but I needed professionals; to have a doctor, psychologist, and nutritionist is crucial for recovery.

Recovery is the hardest thing I have ever done, and possibly will ever do. There have been many lows and few high points in recovery so far. I have gained weight, I have relapsed, I have built up confidence, and I have starved. It is a constant battle, one that takes patience, with yourself and others. It takes determination to get through the hard times, and it takes endurance to bear the emotional pain.

Before my recovery the scale in my bathroom measured my self-worth. The scale told me how good of a person I was or if I should eat that day. I let it bully me into starvation. It was more than just a household item, it was my life. It grew into an obsession. I would weigh myself almost 35 times a week. Even at dangerous lows, I was never satisfied with my weight and at times lost several pounds a week. I still have some trouble separating the number on the scale from my self-worth, but I have overcome tremendous strides in recovery and am proud to say it has been a while since I have stepped on the scale. I refuse to let an inanimate object kill me any longer. Today that scale holds minimal power, and with more time it will be, like it is to everyone else, just a scale.

Scales are not my only enemy in this fight; my mind is the thing I fear most. Between the severe depression, the malnutrition preventing me from moving, and the suicidal thoughts, recovery seems impossible at times. It is very hard to carry on in recovery during relapses, but they pass and I get back on track hoping to make more progress before the next relapse hits. Eventually after enough setbacks, I realize what I am doing wrong and try to fix it, making the period of time between the setbacks grow greater each time.

A major contributor in what keeps me pushing forward is the fact that I know I can fully recover. Thousands have done it and have set examples for others in recovery. Jenni Schaefer, the author of “Life Without Ed” and “Goodbye Ed, Hello Me” who has fully recovered from a fight with Anorexia and Bulimia, was my first recovered role model that has and continues to help me overcome so many relapses through her writing and her music. Shannon Cutts who wrote “Beating Ana” and all of my friends at Mentor Connect, an online support group for recovered or recovering people with eating disorders, are also huge inspirations that are needed to get me through the day.

Through rough moments in recovery, I learn to take things one step at a time. Recovery can be very overwhelming with so much to work on, but the way I figure it is, I have a lot of progress to make, but then again, I have a lot of time to do it in.

I've also began to try to work on and accept imperfection with coloring books, coloring the pictures the “wrong” colors, coloring outside the lines and learning to deal with the awkward feeling of looking at the imperfection and knowing it’s okay. I have now learned to love my imperfect coloring pages.

I'm learning things about myself for a change. My favorite color is blue, and my favorite flowers are white daisies and sunflowers. I like taking pictures outside at the beautiful nature, loving and accepting it the way it was created.

Although through recovery there is a lot of pain and suffering, I know the outcome is far greater than I can imagine. At first I began recovery mostly for my friends and family, but as I grow healthier, I realize I am now recovering for myself. I refuse to be conquered by my anorexia, I refuse to give up, and I refuse to die without being able to say “I am recovered.”

Houston Event AND Goodbye Ana

2010-01-09T12:03:40-08:00

If you live in or around Houston, Texas, please join me for a FREE event this Wednesday, January 13th. Details: http://www.jennischaefer.com/hello-wheres-jenni.htm

I am blessed to receive messages everyday from women and men who are facing and overcoming eating disorders. Many people want to share their stories and write books like I have done. I recently heard from Kate Le Page about her personal journey. With Kate's permission, I am going to share some of what she wrote to me:

"The past 6 years have seen me experience wonderful times of freedom from anorexia as well as periods of desperation and relapse. I see recovery as something I choose daily, to follow my menu plan, stick to my exercise contract, take my medication and continue working with my Cognitive Analytical therapist. Today, I read as much as I can about CBT and CAT approaches to recovery and have recently put together a book about my journey, entitled Goodbye Ana and have included information about what has helped me to remain well.

The main aim for writing the book is simply to educate and support those impacted by this parasitic disease. Chipmunka Publishing, who have kindly worked with me to create my book, specialize in promoting mental health awareness. My heart is to see the stigma and sense of taboo surrounding eating disorders, as well as mental illness in general, be eroded through sharing my story."

Thanks, Kate! Everyone's story is different and unique, so I think it is wonderful when others want to use their voices and share their perspectives of recovery and of being recovered. Of course, not everyone will want to share their story, and that is okay. Please check out " Share Your Story" on my website.

As always, post your comments here. Also, you might want to join in the recent discussion on Facebook --- amazing people have been sharing their stories all week with each other.

Hope to hear from you!

Jenni

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-24T12:54:00-08:00

I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season. I am in Texas with my family. It actually snowed today--in Texas! Of course, it was sunny after ten minutes of snow. That's Texas weather for you!

I have received lots of emails from people asking about recovery support during the holidays. Here are a few cool links:

Eating Disorders and the Holidays (by Randy Hardman, Ph.D.)

Hugs, Humor, and the Holidays: Surviving the Season (by me)

My Thighs Touch! (a new video I posted about body image yesterday on YouTube)

A New Year's Resolution: Making Each Day Time for Change (by me)

Twelve Ideas to Help People with Eating Disorders Negotiate the Holidays (by Michael Berrett, Ph.D.) (download pdf file on NEDA's website...see middle of page "Happy Holidays")

What is Your Guitar? (a new video I posted today on YouTube about hopes for future)

If anyone knows about other great resources, please share them here. Happy holidays!

Thanks :)

Jenni

How Do We Get From Here to There?

2009-11-25T06:52:15-08:00

My friend and colleague, Rich Whitman, COO of La Hacienda Treatment Center, recently shared with me the words below. I think his message of living in the moment and doing the next right thing is very appropriate and helpful for the holiday season. Thanks, Rich, for letting me share your words here!

In this fast passed world that we live in, it seems like more and more people want to get from here to there. The question is really not how we get from here to there, but why? What are our intentions?

Is it just to get all that you can --- like a raise, a bigger house, or a new car? If these are your goals and how you measure success, then I can almost assure you that you will be successful. Remember: I said “successful,” not happy. So many of us think that if we can get what we want, all will be good. And we will have arrived.

Arrived where? Will you be happy there? Will you want to stay there? At who’s or what expense did your great arrival cost?

I was recently in a 12-step meeting listening as people were sharing about their recovery. In almost every case, those who shared talked about being “right where God wanted them to be.” They said things like, “I am learning to give rather than take,” and “I have taken what has been given to me so that I might share it with others.”

These people know where they have come from and where they are now. Some are doctors, and others dig ditches or work in local coffee shops. They are stay-at-home moms, working dads, someone’s son or daughter, brother or sister. The important thing is that they are all there for one another, happy where they are. They don’t want to go back to where they came from.

Someone once said that we must be in the here and the now. I have learned over the years to be content right where I am. I know on any given day if I am in the will of the Father, He has something for me to do where I will be useful and at that given time, I know I have arrived. When I have finished with that task, I will move on to the “next right thing” He has in store for me.

- Rich Whitman, COO, La Hacienda Treatment Center

National Magazine Story Looking for Participants

2009-10-14T13:52:05-07:00

My friend is writing a story for a national magazine about the social aspect of eating disorders and she's looking for young women who suffered from an ED or disordered eating WHILE their friend was suffering from one too—and their ED was influenced or made worse by their friends' ED in some way.

Maybe you and your friend were diet buddies who got carried away. Maybe you were always competitive about everything and when one of you developed an ED, you were competitive about that too. Maybe all your friends talked about was how much/little they were eating, so you felt gross just for eating ANYTHING. Or maybe feeling abandoned by a friend suffering from a serious ED influenced you to find comfort in food or food rituals...

If one of these descriptions sounds like you, you're age 18-21 (16 and 17 are okay with signed parental consent), and you'd like to share your story and help thousands of other young women (you must be willing to use your real name and photo, but your friends' names will be changed), please email her directly at mkhidekel@hotmail.com for more information.

Thanks so much!

Jenni