Your Write to Health by Martha Peaslee Levine

Love is…

2012-02-09T11:39:14-08:00

Valentine’s Day is approaching. So in group yesterday, we wrote about love. In the end, many found this to be a challenging topic to write about. It pushed everyone to think about what love is and how it has been expressed in their lives. This led to some difficult memories and realizations.

When Valentine’s Day comes, love is seen as flowers and chocolate. It is hearts and smiles and it all looks so easy. The advertised Valentine’s Day is like fairy tales. They seem so wonderful and pleasant in the moment, but what happens the next day? What happens after the prince kisses sleeping beauty? Do they really live happily ever after? They do because we don’t hear any more of the story. For real people when the cards are put away and the flowers are wilted and the chocolate is gone, life still goes on. In day to day life, love can get challenged every minute of the day.

In the group, people wrote about times that love had been used as a reason to hurt them. For example if a criticism was offered, it was paired with—I’m telling you this because I love you. If that happens all the time, the feeling is—you can hurt me because you love me. Others talked of families and family members who have their own emotional issues. Within the group we discussed how sometimes we have to grieve an ideal and accept the family that we have. None of us are going to have TV perfect families—they don’t exist. And many of us may have more family struggles than others. We need to, at times, learn to find love and support from other people in our lives. Ones who are able to offer love freely.

Within the group, we talked about qualities of love. Many people shared some of the same beliefs: Love is commitment, honesty, compromise, patience, communication, appreciation, trust, support, listening, respect, acceptance.

So…

What is your definition of love? You can use our list. What aspects do you agree with? What other qualities would you add? You can send them to me in the comment section and we’ll start the conversation going. It is important to think about what love is or should be. Notice, love was not hurting and criticism. Sometimes we may need to offer feedback to others, but we need to remember acceptance and patience and respect.
How has love been expressed in your life? What has made you feel loved? What has left you feeling hurt?
Have conditions been put on love in the past? I’ll love you if….Write about the baggage and expectations you are carrying around in order to feel loved. If you think you have to please everyone all of the time to be loved, then you will never feel worthy of love. We can’t please everyone all of the time.
Take a fairy tale and write about the next day. Try to look at how we move from story into real life. How would those characters get through a disagreement? Have the fairy godmother come down and turn the prince into a frog? Or is there a way that they can use their voices to work things out? Practice the conversations on paper—what are people in your life telling you? If it is not supportive, then put the words in your characters mouth and try out different responses. Learn to set limits and demand the respect that you deserve.
Write about how you express love. Is there someone you haven’t told that you love? Can you send them a short note?
What things do you love about yourself? Make a list. If you struggle then think about if you were your best friend. What things would you love about him/her? Work to appreciate your own unique specialness.

Go on now, Write On! (And Happy Valentine’s Day.)

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health

http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health/

http://www.beamaia.com

Are You Talkin’ To Me? Do I Really Care?

2012-01-31T19:06:56-08:00

My son had some difficulties with his car. Apparently a plastic bag got stuck in the locking mechanism and the trunk wouldn’t close. Right before school, it kept popping up--crap! He called me and I called my parents. I asked them to go and check it out. They graciously went. They had to get the keys to the car but all was resolved. In the end, their take on the problem was that he had tried to close the trunk when the car was locked. That’s never been a problem before—he thinks the mechanism was tripped by that darn, plastic bag.

All right, so why is this blog about a car lock and a plastic bag? Well, here is the main reason. After all of the finagling of getting the keys, checking the lock and fixing the lock, the keys were returned to the front desk at my son’s school. When he went to get the keys, he was greeted with a response that was basically, if you don’t know how to lock and unlock your car, you don’t deserve to have it.

My son left me an irate voicemail. Luckily, I forgot my phone at home and didn’t have to listen to the message. But if I had listened, I would have still sympathized with him. And I would have described what I am writing here. Basically, why should he really care about what was said?

We all come up against individuals in our lives who think that they need to comment on something that we are doing, the way we are doing it or what we haven’t done. The question is—how much should we really care? We will always face negative comments in our lives, but, “what are we going to do with them?” Sometimes we need to listen to feedback. If I talk with my kids or students or patients about an important point, I don’t want them to blow me off. But if I make an offhanded remark that bothers them, I would want them to say, “Dr. Levine (or Mom), I have a slight issue with that.” I am willing to listen.

And if I come up against someone who wants to try and make me feel small because I made a mistake? Well, I have been there, done that and I’m not willing to do that anymore. Life is too short and too precious to try and feel that we need to bend over backwards for everyone around us. So someone honks at me because they are impatient, well, too bad, I will move, but I won’t freak out! If someone thinks that I should have known something—sorry, I do the best I can. If you think it is important, then tell me. I am willing to listen. I am just not willing to be shamed.

So….

What cracks or comments have you faced in life that you are still carrying with you? What effect is it having on you? Can you write about it? Let lose some of its power? Often people make comments or bad jokes because they are feeling insecure. Did you end up taking on their negative feelings? Can you let them go? Write about the remark. What did you think or feel? What did you want to say back? Why do you think they said it?
I told you that I was going to a poetry retreat. One of my poems included a remark made when I was younger. It was—“It we want to exterminate the house, we have Martha sing.” All right, how would you feel about that? Now, it hurt, I will admit, for a long time. The poem I wrote was about the effort it has taken me to move past the remark. But I am past it. I don’t sing well, but I have done karaoke on a cruise ship, I sing along with the radio and if you put Queen on, I am singing for sure. I am not going to be Lady Gaga, but I can still be a unique individual. So am going to buy into this crack and feel bad or am I going to belt out songs off-key and then work to find a more useful way to express myself? The second. Yes, I am probably going to write instead of sing, but I’ll still have fun. You can help yourself by writing a poem about comments or cracks or whatever has been tossed your way.
Write a play about the comment. Instead of staying silent—have you character say exactly what you wanted to say. You don’t have to do anything more with this than just write it down. But say what you want to say—the next time you might be able to find your voice more easily.
Journal about your heroes. Can you walk the higher road? What would Jesus do? What would Buddha do? Pick your spiritual or heroic figure and journal about how they would have responded. Can you channel their strength?
And then if you need to, journal a Godfather moment. If you are mad, be mad for a moment. In the Godfather, a horse’s head was delivered to make a point. Now let’s not get violent, let’s try to find a way to turn this into the silly amusement that it needs to be. So if someone makes a ridiculous jab, then imagine how you might retaliate. Do you want to send 100 penguins? A box of goat chow? Lion droppings? I don’t know. Be silly, be creative, but let your anger go.

So, go, Write On!

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health

http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health/

http://www.beamaia.com

New Year, New Directions?

2012-01-01T14:24:39-08:00

We’re into a New Year. In our house, the kids were up later than the adults. Does this signal a shifting of the generations? Maybe. Over the winter break, my son was completing college apps and I have been left wondering—where does the time go?

It just goes.

This is not going to be a waxing, somber blog about time disappearing. Nor is it going to be a time traveler’s blog (I’m listening to The Time Traveler’s Wife on tape) in which I lament about wanting to go back and redo things. Yes, there might be things that I would redo—but I can’t. And how many other things would I lose in my life if I went back and tried?

No, this blog is going to be a kick-in-the-butt blog to get us all going.

This is despite the fact that I’m sitting in my sunroom, staring out at gray clouds and hearing a cold wind whistle past my windows. This is despite my dog snoring soundly next to me, trying to tempt me to nap. Because if I slip into a torpid coma, then how will that bode for the New Year?

My first month of the New Year is starting with a poetry retreat next weekend. It will end with another writing retreat. The first month of this New Year is filled with the promise of words and friends. So do I want to focus on regrets? On loss? Heck, no!

I want to focus on the promise of experiences yet to come. I want to write and guarantee myself the chance for creativity and self-discovery. How about you? Want to join me on that journey?

Then let’s start with poetry. Try a haiku—first line 5 syllables, second line 7 syllables, third line 5 syllables again. It must paint a picture in a person’s mind. One of my writing friends was certain that she couldn’t write poetry, but she has become a master at haiku and had numerous poems published. But whether you publish or not, try new poetry forms to play with words and images around you.

Outside, wind laments.

Wishing to join mom and kids.

Inside, heart beats time.

Is that good poem? It paints an image for me. Isn’t that what matters when we play with writing?

Or write a limerick.

There once was a writer on-line.

Who thought writing was really divine.

She said with no hype,

“Just sit down and type.”

To discover your life’s true design.

Start a letter to yourself to remind you what is important for the year.
- Dear Me, I want to renew some friendships. I want to cook some new dinners. I want to finish knitting my scarf!
Write about your surroundings so that you can reconnect to the world around you.
Write about how you are feeling and let your thoughts go—write for 10 minutes, go anywhere your mind takes you. You might discover some new connections.
Write about what kind of animal you would be and why—
Write about what time in history you would like to visit.
Where would you like to travel?
What one adventure have you always wished for?
Use this New Year to start writing and discover new aspects of yourself.

Go, Write On!

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health

http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health/

http://www.beamaia.com

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T20:11:23-08:00

I am here with my family on Thanksgiving Day. Football is on in the background. We have already taken pictures around the table so that we can document the perfectly designed center piece. That has led to laughter, some “fake” arguments, jokes about those arguments—it has been noted that my father only calls my mother “darling” when he is annoyed. The kids are practicing carols because they will be singing at Disney this weekend. My mother and I are going as chaperones, although the chaperone part was apparently news to my mother.

Why do you care about all of these details of our family?

Within families small jokes can bring us closer together; sometimes, though, biting humor can drive us apart. It is at holidays or family gatherings that we can bond or bicker. And sometimes it is our expectations that determine which way this goes.

Today, our family bonded over shared memories and answers to thought provoking questions that my mother downloaded. We learned about contests that we cherished winning and who we considered the biggest troublemaker in our family (one of our dogs won!).

When I share my small moments, hopefully I can get you to stop and think about yours.

So…

What are your expectations of the holidays? Journal about them. Even after the fact or for the next holiday. Write about what you were expecting. How did it match up to the actual day? If you found the day a disappointment, maybe it was a function of your expectations. When we think things should be a certain way and they aren’t, then we can feel disappointed. If we just live moment to moment, often we can more happily accept how things actually are.
Journal about how your family interacts. Are the jokes and laughter comical or cutting? By understanding how interactions make you feel, you can set boundaries if others make you feel bad about yourself.
Journal about a conversation that may not have gone as expected. Is it perhaps that some information got left out? The chaperoning information could have led to a disagreement with my mother, but we flowed through this communication gap. Are there communication gaps going on in your life? Has that affected some of your interactions?
Journal about a favorite memory. What made it special?
Journal about a challenging memory—what happened, how did it make you feel, how did you get through the situation?
Write a list of questions that you’d like to learn about others in your family. Use the next get-together to learn more about each other. In the meantime, journal and answer those questions for yourself.
Journal about whom or what has been a troublemaker in your life. Why? How have you dealt with this? What have you learned? How can you limit the amount of trouble now?
Journal about what you are grateful for. Consider starting a gratitude journal. At the end of the day, write 3 things that you are grateful for. It will help remind you about the important things and help get you through the frustrations. Mine?
- I am grateful that we had a lovely day together as a family and shared new memories.
- I am grateful that my troublemaking dog has finally lain down.
- I am grateful for the pre-Disney concert that I got as my kids practiced their songs.
- And now that my dog is back up, I am grateful for our new dog door so I don’t have to go let him out.
- I am grateful for my washing machine that is swooshing away because I don’t even want to think about where I’d be without appliances!
- I am grateful for this chance to write and for everyone who reads these words and thinks about writing to discover their own way to health.

There I did 6, now your turn.

Go, Write On!

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health

http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health/

http://www.beamaia.com

Time Passes…

2011-10-30T13:53:55-07:00

My son has been working on his senior page for his high school year book. Senior pages are a family effort—at least for our family. My son wanted old pictures to include on his page. When archives are needed, we typically e-mail the grandparents to get pictures sent. And so over the past few days, pictures have flowed in—David as a baby. My daughter as a baby with her older brother standing protectively next to her. In the pictures my hair went long, short, long again and in more recent pictures is showing my gray.

And I was forced to reflect on the passing of time. It still does not feel real that my son is going to be going away to college. It does not feel real that 17 years have passed since he was born. Where has the time gone?

I have also been listening to a book on tape. Towards the end of the story a woman who is dying of brain cancer reflects on her life. She notes that the important moments for her have been the moments spent with her family. She remembers the laughter and the hugs.

And looking back over the 17 years, I remember many of those moments in my life. The dinners when we shared jokes and someone would laugh so hard that drink would spurt out of their nose. (I am not going to identify whose nose.) On vacations we have explored castles, driven go-carts down a mountain, listened to books together in the car. Yes, the memories of my family are very important to me.

But during these 17 years, I have also published 2 children’s books. I have written articles and discovered the joy of blogging. I have worked to help people recover from eating disorders. I have taught medical students about professionalism and challenging ethical issues. I have developed a project, The Letter Connection, to try and capture patients’ stories about what works well in medicine and where challenges remain with communication.

Within our lives, we don’t need to be just one aspect of ourselves. During these 17 years, David has not just been my son, but he has been discovering his passions. Those interests have ranged from cars to sports to politics. He still loves trivia and Model UN. He has gone to camps and come back with great stories. He is excited about college, and I know he will bring back stories to share. Time is passing; I can’t keep it the same. I can’t keep him small and at home and the majority of me doesn’t want to. We can all have wistful moments, but in truth, I will be glad to have him go to college. No, not to get rid of him. But when he goes off to expand his own life, then I know that I have helped him find the strength to face new challenges. I know that he will tell me about his new adventures. I can live my life and continue to live his life vicariously. How cool is that?

But I have to keep living my own life, too.

So….

Start with Time Passes… Use that as your prompt and see where it takes you. When you run out of ideas, start again. Try to keep going for 5 minutes. I won’t bore you with my whole 5 minutes, but if I started with this prompt, I’d get….
- Time passes, so I must not pass up opportunities. I must not pass by a friend who is struggling and not offer to help. I must not pass through a day without telling my children that I love them. I must not pass up the chance to laugh or appreciate the world around me. Time passes and that is the way life goes—vampires are only truth in fiction and so I do not have an eternity to live, just this short time to live the best and fullest that I can. Does this affect how I live my life? Perhaps. It may mean that I don’t worry as much about small inconveniences because, yes, they affect my life, but if I think about them too much then I am giving over even more of my life to them. With time passing, I need to make certain that I follow my dreams. So starting tomorrow (or tonight, if we get our power back on), I will find a way to incorporate more fiction writing in my life. Time passes and if I don’t stay in touch with that fact, it will be gone before I finish my novel’s revisions. I don’t want to be left with if only, if only…I want to know that I owned it—I owned my life and my dreams.
What are your dreams? Write down a list. Even if it doesn’t seem possible to achieve them all, you’ll have a starting place. In an Ethics course the other day, a film clip asked the question, “What if you had only 6 months to live?” Write about that so that you can clarify your priorities and make certain that you are including them in your life.
Write about the people in your life and what you share together. If they are bringing more negatives than positives, consider how to protect yourself from their criticisms or toxic energy. Consider whether you are putting more energy into keeping everyone else happy than making sure that you are happy and following your dreams. Many times people put themselves into pretzel shapes to try and please everyone else. But if you are not also pleasing yourself, then you will probably come to resent it. I help my children pursue their dreams, but also work to pursue mine. Make certain you’re doing the same.

Your turn, now. Go, Write On!

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health

http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health/

http://www.beamaia.com

Without One, You Can’t Have the Other….

2011-10-05T08:19:09-07:00

A couple of weekends ago, my daughter and I were planning on participating in the Falmouth Goat Race. This is an annual race that takes place on the last Saturday of September. We ran our first race last year when my pet goats were only 6 months old. My goat, Martha, almost made it to the finals. And the finals mean trophies—big trophies.

So in preparation for this year, we had been training. And then…rain, lots of rain, hit our area. Now the cancellation of the goat race is not huge as compared to the many people affected by the floods. My heart goes out to them. This is just one small story in the middle of thousands of other stories.

On the Saturday of the race, the weather was perfect. The sun was out, the temperature was great, but there had been so much rain that the ground was saturated. Hence, the cancellation of the race.

Now this race was special for us this year. This past May, my female goat had a baby. We named her Iris Pluie. Iris for the Goddess of the Rainbow and Pluie, French for rain. She was born on a day that saw a huge rainstorm and the threat of tornados. We had not planned for Iris, but goats will be goats. She was born and she was beautiful. Because her mother was tame, she was tame as compared with other nursing babies. She would sit on my lap and fall fast asleep. She was an imp and liked running and jumping and getting into the chicken house to get to the corn. (This is also a favorite pastime of her mother.)

And then in August, when we went to visit the goats (they board on a local farm), Iris was limp and listless. I sent my daughter scrambling to the house to get help, but Iris had a seizure and died.

I am not telling you this to try and make you sad. I’m writing about it for a few reasons. One, writing helps. That’s why I share these writing prompts. That’s why I write this blog. I believe in the healing power of writing. The second reason is that thinking about what happened, writing about it, grieving has helped me accept the understanding that without grief, we can’t have joy.

Part of what has been so fun about my goats is being able to go and have the farm experience and have them run over, curious creatures that they are, for some affection. Iris Pluie made us laugh with her antics. She made my heart melt when she fell asleep in my lap and made little, mouth puckering sounds. She gave my daughter and I more reasons to bond. So the grief at losing Iris was difficult. But without the attachment that I had with her, I wouldn’t have had the fun and loving moments. If we try to protect ourselves too much from hurt, then we can miss out on happiness. Without being willing to feel some of the difficult emotions, misery, grief, disappointment, we can’t feel the positive ones of merriment giddiness, or delight. Without one, we can’t have the other.

So….

Write about the emotions that you are trying to avoid. List them and then see if you can come up with positive ones using the same first letter of each word. Understand that when you push away every woe, every pain, you are also pushing away wonderment and pleasure. You can’t only feel the good feelings. If you let yourself be open to life, it will offer challenges but also contentment.
Write about a tough time that you’re trying to push away. Describe what happened and how you felt. Working to understand your feelings can help you to move past the pain. Write about how it has changed you, what you learned. What coping skills did you use to get through? Realize, reflect on and relish in the fact that you survived this! It was probably difficult, but you made it through.
Write about joy in your life. Describe a great event. Celebrate something that you enjoyed. Understand what you liked about it so that you can work to get more joy into your life.
Start a gratitude journal. Try at the end of the day to find, at least, one thing that made you appreciate the world around you. It could be a rainbow or birdsong. It could be a joke that made you really laugh or the feel of a pet’s whiskers against your palm. Even these small images can make us appreciate what we have in life.

So, go, Write On!

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health

http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health

http://www.beamaia.com

What is your Spirit reaching for?

2011-08-26T11:09:19-07:00

“I have seen the fate your spirit reaches for, but it is a path fraught with peril, and you may still fail to reach it.” Desert Spear by Peter V. Brett

I read that quote this morning as I drank my coffee on my sunroom porch with my dogs snoring softly by my feet. My son recommended this novel. It is a fantasy filled with demons and violence and blood and gore—all the things that teenage boys like.

Yet this morning that quote spoke to me.

In it I heard peoples’ dreams and futures and even their recoveries. It reminded me that the path is often difficult, arduous and without guarantee. So, where is the lure in that? Why bring it up here—isn’t this quote too disappointing and worrisome? Maybe—unless you focus on the spirit part.

To my reading the spirit is our inner self. Our spirit is what makes us who we are. It is what makes us special. It is often difficult to reach our dreams, our goals, our true gifts. That path is often fraught with peril—criticisms and disappointments. It is filled with ongoing challenges and obstacles. We may fail to reach it, but are the other roads any easier? Think of the wonder when we do let our true spirits sing.

In my life, I discovered that my spirit reaches for writing. It reaches for therapy and working with others to help them achieve their dreams. Before, when I didn’t make time to write, I felt empty and weighted down by the world. But the writing life is fraught with peril and depending on the expectations that I place on it, I may not reach a certain “goal”. Yet that doesn’t have to be viewed as a failure. The journey, itself, is what is important. The journey is life. Through this journey--we learn, we experience, we grow.

Goals in writing include publication. While a goal is important if it helps provide a purpose, it can be a negative—a peril. If I put so much emphasis on the goal such that I don’t enjoy writing in the moment that is not a benefit. If we focus only on what if and not on what now, we miss out on many things along the way. Even when I reached the goal of publication, one of my books went out of print before I even knew what happened. I published a picture book and 2 years later, it was gone from the publisher’s catalog.

This story is not to dampen anyone’s goals. I learned a lot writing the book and getting it published. I met lots of fabulous people through writing conferences and school visits. And that is from only that one project. From writing itself? I’ve learned about myself. I’ve made friends and have had a chance to use writing to help others. So, yes, the writing path and the path of self-discovery can be scary. It may even be perilous at times. It may not have led me to my desired goal of a best-selling book, but it has been a journey that I wouldn’t want to trade.

So…

Journal to discover what your spirit is reaching for. Try the prompt, my spirit yearns for…. Or my spirit needs….. It is important to discover what your true self desires—what fate it might be reaching for.
Journal to discover your inner self. Can you describe him or her? Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, maybe listen to some quiet music. Breathe and let yourself wander. Then take up your pen and write—describe your inner self. In the past when I have done this, I have discovered a woman creatively dressed in flowing scarves who danced among a rocky hillside and ducked into a cave. To me she was an embodiment of brave creativity—ducking into dark places and willing to find what might be buried in those depths.
Journal to discover what perils you fear. Thinking about them may help you be ready to face down disappointments that may come your way.
Journal to discover what strengthens and talents you bring to this path. How have you dealt with challenges before? What skills will you be able to harness? When have you stumbled in the past? What might you need to put in place to help you get through the upcoming challenges?
Journal to discover inspiration for your journey. Find a symbol or animal that can inspire you. When I write, I think of dolphins that plunge deep into the ocean, but then surface again. It makes me think of plunging into the creative well, but then coming back to the light of day—to real life.

Go, Write On!

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health

http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health

http://www.beamaia.com

Digging Deep

2011-08-06T13:40:52-07:00

Recently a heating specialist was cleaning out our furnace and dryer ducts. He came upstairs and told me, "I have some good news and some bad news." You can image, I felt some chills creep up my spine. Who wouldn't?

In the end the bad news really wasn't that bad. He had broken a ceiling tile while trying to get to the ducts. And the really good news? That we hadn't burned our house down.

Apparently a lttle animal thought that our dryer duct would make a perfect home. It had started storing away nuts and had managed to collect about a pound of walnuts before we took apart its pantry. At least that was according to the worker's estimates.

How does this relate to writing towards health? Just because something is hidden away doesn't mean that it can't have disastrous and far-reaching effects. If we hadn't found those simple nuts, we could have lost everything. Stuffing secrets and challengeing thoughts deep inside doesn't make them go away. It can, instead, lead to damaging results.

So:

Write about whatever it is that you are stuffing away.Something may have happened in the past or recently, something that upset you. Rather than pushing those feelings away, write about them. See if they are related to anything else.
Fill this in and then go from there-- I felt_________when_______said or did _______because it made me think________.
Write about whatever is hiding deep inside. Use the prompt--Deep inside is.....And then buried under that is....... What I never let other people see...... What I never want to let out into the light of day..... If people knew this about me, they would see me differently......
Write what is hidden in your heart, your brain, your soul. My heart hides the truth of.....My heart knows..... My heart weeps because.....My heart sings when....
Write a letter to your inner self and ask your true self what is wrong. Why do I feel sad (or lonely, or angry, or whatever feeling) sometimes for no clear reason... What is that empty space inside....
Write about your fears. I am afraid of.....I am afraid when....I am not afraid of....I am not afraid when.... Understanding the light places and your strengths are as important as understanding your fears.

You've got some prompts, so Go, Write On!

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

PROJECT HEAL

2011-07-22T11:51:04-07:00

Yesterday, the young women of Project Heal came to speak at our program at Penn State. It was truly inspiring. They have recovered from their eating disorders and are now raising money to help sponsor others in need of treatment.

In the past three years, these young women have developed a non-profit corporation and have already helped five other individuals get treatment. They have changed people’s lives. But how did they get to this place? They first worked to change their own lives.

Clearly, their recovery from their own eating disorders was difficult, but their perseverance and strength are amazing. Kristina talked about how when she was in portions of her recovery, she would just go into “autopilot”. She would have to eat meals even though she didn’t want to, even though she didn’t feel hungry, even though eating made her feel guilty, she did it because she had to. That was the way to recovery. After operating on autopilot, the meals became easier. The negative emotions were less intense.

So—

Journal about the challenging feelings you are having in recovery. Writing about them can help take away some of their power. It can help you look at the thoughts and find ways to counteract them. You won't be able to get rid of all the negative emotions right away. You will have to go on “autopilot” to get through the meals and steps of recovery. But you can write to clarify your feelings and thoughts. You can challenge them on paper. You can put those negative thoughts down and then rip them into shreds if it helps—make some confetti. Put the negative thoughts down and send them away—you can mail to me if you need to! (Penn State Division of Adolescent Medicine and Eating Disorders, 905 W. Governor Road, Suite 250, Hershey, PA 17033). Send me your negative thoughts, if it will help, and I’ll send you a positive thought back.
What other challenges are you facing? What do you need to do to get through it? Journal so that you can find a way to put yourself in autopilot—here are the tasks and how I need to move ahead. Sometimes journaling in new ways helps, create a spider web—put one word on the paper and then branch out ideas of how to solve it. Create a tree. The trunk can be the main thing that you need to accomplish. It might feel like a wall—but if it is a tree, then the branches can be all the small steps that you need to take to get to the trunk. Break each task down into smaller and smaller branches until you just have a twig. When my kids were little all the writing that I could do was in short bursts. Those were the years that I created a lot of poems. But that helped hone my creative juices. It interested my daughter in writing and poetry. Sometimes even small tasks can have huge payoffs.

Go and Write On!

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health

http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health

http://www.beamaia.com

STEP BY STEP

2011-07-13T14:55:09-07:00

We recently started renovations on our house. It was supposed to be a small project. I had a screen porch that I loved to sit on. Then my two dogs thought it was great fun to push through the screens and chase each other around. We finally decided the best answer was to turn it into a sunroom.

Sounds simple, right?

It’s almost as simple as the way some people describe recovery from an eating disorder—“just eat”. But, in our case, the new room needed to be integrated into the heating system and really we should convert to geothermal both to help the environment and because of the current tax credit and then windows on the front of the house needed to be replaced and so on and so on. The upshot is that one small project spiraled into renovations taking place in almost every room.

Nothing is simple. Certainly not recovery from eating disorders.

Within this process when I have gotten discouraged, my husband reminded me (and I have worked to remind myself), that I need to approach things step-by-step. Not everything is going to be done in a day. And when we decided to add a new study, well, not all the books will get shelved in one day. Not all papers will be organized in one day. Not everything will be done in one day. But if I can just take a deep breath and take the projects step-by-step, they will all get done.

This is the same for recovery. It is a process. It can’t be done in one day or one month. But each day, a small step can be taken. Each step adds together until, in our case, a room is finally done. Piles of papers are finally put away. Clean laundry is off the dining room table.

How does this relate to Writing Towards Health? It applies in a few ways.

What do you need to do?—

Journal the steps that you need to accomplish. Look at your recovery, where you are now and where you want to be. Don’t get discouraged—start mapping out steps. When I sit down to write, I can get overwhelmed by the size of a project. But if I approach things page by page, word by word, it becomes manageable. So start with some small goals. And then add to them. Start mapping out the direction where you want to head. It will help keep you on track.
Eating disorders are a way to deal with negative feelings. Journal to discover what you’re trying to push away but that is still inside bothering you. Need some prompts?
- I want to forget….
- I wish I could turn back time …
- I don’t want anyone to know…
- I don’t want to remember…
- If I could change one thing…
- Hidden inside myself in a locked box is…
- The key to the past is…
- The story that I would never want to tell my children is…
- The story I never want to tell myself…
Journal to remind yourself about the process. You may need some inspirational quotes to keep you going. I always remind myself that if I fall down seven times, I need to get up eight. I might need to rest a moment before I haul myself up, but I can get up and try again. That is the only way forward. (Although, I might find some new tools or a new way to go if all of my past attempts haven’t worked.)

Go on now, Go, Write On!

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health

http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health

http://www.beamaia.com