There are four key competencies that will help you become a career and life success:

• You have to be able to create positive personal impact.
• You have to be become an outstanding performer.
• You have to be a dynamic communicator – in conversation, writing and presentations.
• You have to build strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life.

If you want to become a dynamic communicator, you need to develop three skills: conversation, writing and presenting.  The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines the word “dynamic” as, “Marked by continuous and productive activity.”  In many ways, this is a good definition for an effective conversation.  In a conversation, two types of activities occur simultaneously: speaking and listening.  In good conversations, both of these are continuous and productive.  In plain English, when you’re in a conversation, if you’re not speaking and providing information, you need to be listening and receiving it.

In previous posts I’ve pointed out that asking good questions is an important way to become known as a great conversationalist.  But to take full advantage of the questions you ask, you need to really listen to the answers and respond appropriately. 

Here are my top seven tips for becoming a good listener – and conversationalist.

1. Look the other person in the eye when he or she is speaking.  This demonstrates that you are engaged with him or her.

2. Listen to understand what the other person is saying – not to plan your rebuttal.

3. Listen really hard when the other person begins by saying something with which you don’t agree.

4. Know the words that trigger your emotions.  Don’t get distracted by them.

5. Be patient.  Some people take longer than others to make their point. Don’t interrupt.

6. Ask clarification questions when you don’t understand.

7. Repeat what you have heard the other person say – to make sure you got it right, and to show him or her that you were listening.

If you use these seven tips in conversation, you will become known as a great conversationalist and a dynamic communicator.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are competent.  Dynamic communication is an important key success competency.  If you want to become a dynamic communicator, you have to become a good conversationalist, clear writer and effective presenter.  To become a good conversationalist learn to listen well.  Listening, like a lot of success advice, is just common sense.  Show the other person you are engaged.  Focus on understanding, not on rebutting points with which you don’t agree.  Don’t get distracted by words that trigger your emotions.  Ask clarification questions to ensure you understand what is being said.  Repeat what you’ve heard.

That’s my take on listening.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your best listening advice.  As always, thanks for reading – and writing.

Bud

There are four key competencies that will help you become a career and life success:

• You have to be able to create positive personal impact.
• You have to be become an outstanding performer.
• You have to be a dynamic communicator – in conversation, writing and presentations.
• You have to build strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life.

Your Success GPS was published by Walk the Talk Company earlier this year.  It came with a tips page.  I have received a lot of positive feedback on the tips page, so I’ve decided to share it here….

Your Success GPS: Things to Remember…
Take personal responsibility for your success.  You are the only one who can make you a success.  As Stephen Pierce says, “To succeed, you need more than a wishbone…You must have a backbone.”  As you go through life, things will happen – some good, some bad.  The stuff that happens isn’t important.  What’s important is how you respond to what happens.  Choose to respond positively.  Take personal responsibility for your success.

Confidence is at the core of all success.  Successful people are self confident.  If you want to become self confident, you need to become an optimist.  Believe that today will be better than yesterday, and that tomorrow will be better than today.  Self confident people face their fears and act.  They are not afraid to fail because they know that failure presents an opportunity to begin again.  Finally, self confident people surround themselves with positive people. They have no room in their lives for people who are a negative drain on their energy.

Competence is the final component of success.  Successful people create positive personal impact.  Others like them and want to be around them.  Successful people get it done – they are outstanding performers.  They set high goals; and do whatever it takes to achieve them.  Successful people communicate well — in conversations, writing and presentations.  Successful people are interpersonally competent.  They know themselves and use this self knowledge to better understand others.  They build strong, lasting relationships with the important people in their lives and resolve conflict in a positive manner.
  
Your Success GPS Things to Do…

Commit to your success.  Figure out exactly what you need to do – then do it!

• Enthusiastically act on the things that will make you a success

• Become an optimist.  Choose to react positively to the bad things that happen to you.  Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

• Identify your fears.  Admit them and embrace them.  Then act.  Don’t let your fears paralyze you.  Action is the antidote to fear.

• Identify the positive people in your life.  Hold them close.  Run from negative people – as fast as you can.

• Create positive personal impact:

• Build a strong, unique personal brand.
• Be impeccable in your presentation of self – in person and on line.
• Always be a lady or gentleman

• Perform

• Become a lifelong learner.
• Set high goals – do whatever it takes to achieve them.
• Get organized – manage your time, life and stress well.

• Communicate

• Become a great conversationalist – ask questions, listen, respond appropriately.
• Write clearly and succinctly – use short sentences, and the smallest possible words that communicate exactly what you want to say.
• Develop your presentation skills – practice, practice, practice your talks.

• Build Relationships

• Get to know yourself.  Use this self knowledge to better understand others.
• Resolve conflict positively and with a minimal amount of disruption to your relationships.

The common sense point here is simple.  Success is a multi faceted endeavor.  It is not enough to merely be a good performer.  You have to commit to taking personal responsibility for your success.  You have to build your self confidence.  You need to create positive personal impact.  You have to perform at a consistently high level.  You have to become a dynamic communicator.  You have build and nurture supporting relationships.  This sounds like a lot, but you can do it.  I know you can.

That’s my take on how to become the career and life success you deserve to be.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

There are four key competencies that will help you become a career and life success:

• You have to be able to create positive personal impact.
• You have to be become an outstanding performer.
• You have to be a dynamic communicator – in conversation, writing and presentations.
• You have to build strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life.

You create positive personal impact in three ways: 1) creating and building a unique and powerful personal brand; 2) being impeccable in your presentation of self – in person and on line; and 3) knowing and following the basic rules of etiquette.

I was reading an article in October 2009 issue of Laptop Magazine called “Manage Your Online Rep.” It ended with this piece of advice…

Staying offline is impossible.  So keep things classy, or you may be passed over for a job that you’re otherwise perfect for.  Actively manage your on line reputation.  Don’t just let it happen.

Now, that’s some common sense advice!

I used to think that it was important enough to look good – dress nicely and be well groomed.  In today’s world however, that’s only part of the presentation of self equation.  You have to pay attention to how you come across on line.

The article told an interesting story…

A PR executive was evaluating the resumes of two strong candidates.  Social media experience was a must for the job.  One candidate was a blogger, the other a big Twitter user.  However, when the executive read the first candidate’s blog, she found that it was filled with grammatical errors and awkward sentence structure.  She eliminated the candidate as a result.  Even though the blog wasn’t a professional blog, she felt that the candidate’s writing ability wasn’t strong enough for her agency.  The other candidate tweeted about being bored at work.  She didn’t get the job either.  The executive said, “Both candidates engaged in social media, a requirement for the job, but neither of them did it in a manner that positioned them well professionally.

“Whoa,” you might say, “that blog and those tweets were personal, they shouldn’t count against the applicants.  Maybe so, maybe not.  The important thing is that they did.  And they will continue to do so in the future.

Susan Heathfield, an HR expert puts it pretty bluntly…

“Every employer who is worth their salt Googles potential employees, and employers who say they don’t are not telling the truth.”

While I’m not going to call anyone a liar, I know a lot of HR people in a lot of companies all around the country – and they all Google anybody they think they might want to invite in for an interview , let alone offer a job.  It’s become the second step in the hiring process – right after reviewing a resume.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are competent.  Creating positive personal impact is one of the competencies that successful possess.  You create positive personal impact by building and nurturing your unique personal brand, being impeccable in your presentation of self – in person and on line, and knowing and following the basic rules of etiquette.  Your on line reputation is very important these days.  Employers will Google you before inviting you in for an interview.  Make sure that on line persona presents you in the best possible light.  Create a Google profile – it will be the first thing to appear when someone enters your name into Google.  In this way, you can better control what others see about you on line.

That’s my take on how your on line persona can help or hinder your career.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

My Common Sense Success System is based on what I call the Four Cs of Success:

• Clarity of purpose and direction
• Commitment to taking personal responsibility for your own success
• Confidence in your ability to create the successful life and career you deserve
• Competence in four key areas.

Let me tell you a little bit more about each of the Four Cs of Success…

Clarity

Let’s start with clarity.  Clarity of purpose and direction is fundamental to your personal and professional success.  It all begins with a clear picture of how you define success.

When I was 25, if you asked me what I wanted to be doing when I was 50, I would have told you, “Running a one person consulting, coaching and speaking business from my house.”  Guess what?  I have been running a one person consulting, coaching and speaking business from my house ever since 1988.  My clarity of purpose propelled me toward my goal.

That’s why defining your clarity of purpose is so important.  Your clarity of purpose provides both a foundation and launching pad for your professional success.  The old saying, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t know when you get there” is a cliché but true.  Getting clear on your personal definition of success is the first step to becoming a career and life success.

If you haven’t already done so, I suggest you take some time and think about your clarity of purpose.  How do you define success for yourself?  Keep that purpose and definition of success in mind as you go through your days.

Commitment

Now let’s think about commitment.  It’s simple, really. Success is all up to you, and me, and anyone else who wants it. We all have to commit to taking personal responsibility for our own success. I am the only one who can make me a success. You are the only one who can make you a success.

Stuff happens as you go through life: good stuff, bad stuff, frustrating stuff, unexpected stuff.  Successful people respond to the stuff that happens in a positive way.  We humans are the only animals with free will.  That means we – you and me – get to decide how we react to every situation that comes up.  That’s why committing to taking personal responsibility for your personal and professional success is so important.

Committing to personal responsibility means recognizing that you are responsible for your life — and the choices you make. It means that you realize that while other people and events have an impact on your life, these people and events don’t shape your life. When you commit to taking personal responsibility for your life, you own up to the fact that how you react to people and events is what’s important. And you can choose how to react to every person you meet and everything that happens to you.

The concept of personal responsibility is found in most writings on success. For example, the first of Stephen Covey’s seven habits of highly effective people is, “Be proactive.”

The other two keys to success – confidence and competence — work only if you are committed to taking responsibility for your life and career. Commitment to personal responsibility is the foundation on which this model is built.

Personal responsibility means using this material once you learn it. I’ve written this post to provide you with useful information and knowledge on becoming a personal and professional success.  But, as the U.S. Steel pencils my Dad brought home from work used to say, “Knowing is not enough.”  You have to use what you learn, or else what you’ve learned is of no value.

Confidence

I love stories. I think they are a very powerful way of making important points. Here’s one of my favorites about self confidence. 

The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.

Suddenly an old man appeared before him. “I can see that something is troubling you,” he said. After listening to the executive’s woes, the old man said, “I believe I can help you.”  He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, “Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time.” Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come.

The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!  “I can erase my money worries in an instant!” he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the uncashed check in his safe.

Just knowing it was there gave him the strength to work out a way to save his business. With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.

Exactly one year later, he returned to the park with the uncashed check. The old man was there. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.

“I’m so glad I caught him!” she cried. “I hope he hasn’t been bothering you. He’s always escaping from the rest home and telling people he’s John D. Rockefeller.”  And she led the old man away by the arm.

The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he’d been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him. Suddenly, he realized that it wasn’t the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.

As nice as this story is, I doubt if it is actually true. However, like a lot of fables, it makes a great common sense point about personal and professional success. If you believe in yourself and your success, you are likely find ways to make that belief come true. Think about it.

If you want to become self confident you need to do three things.  1) Become an optimist. Learn from, and then forget yesterday’s mistakes.  Focus on tomorrow’s achievements.  2) Face your fears and take action.  Action cures fear.  Procrastination and inaction compound it.  Failure is rarely fatal.  Do something, anything that will move you closer to achieving your goals.  3) Surround yourself with positive people.  Build a network of supportive friends.  Jettison the negative people in your life. 

Competence

Finally, if you want to succeed in this life, you have to be competent.  You need to develop four key skills. 

• Creating Positive Personal Impact,
• Performing in an Outstanding Manner,
• Dynamic Communication,
• Interpersonal Competence.

Let’s take a look at each of these skills in more detail…

Positive Personal Impact

All successful people create positive personal impact.  Positive personal impact is like charisma, only more so.  People gravitate towards people with positive personal impact.  When you create positive personal impact other people want to be around you.  They want to work with you.  They want to be your friend.  They want you on their teams.

People with positive personal impact develop and nurture their personal brand.  They are impeccable in their presentation of self.  They know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.  If you master these three keys, you’ll be able to create positive personal impact.

Outstanding Performance

All successful people are outstanding performers.  It’s the price of admission to the success club. However, don’t make the mistake of thinking that performance alone will get you where you want to go.  Performance is only of the characteristics of successful people.  Outstanding performance is important, but it alone will not guarantee your success.

The Dali Lama of all people has some interesting things to say about outstanding performance.  “One can be deceived by three types of laziness: the laziness of indolence, which is the wish to procrastinate; the laziness of inferiority, which is doubting your capabilities; and the laziness that is attached to negative actions, or putting great effort into non-virtue.”

I really like what he has to say because it drives home an important point about taking personal responsibility for becoming an outstanding performer. The Dalai Lama doesn’t let us off the hook by saying, “I didn’t think I could do it.” Instead, he says that doubting our abilities is a form of laziness. That’s some tough love!

And, if you think about it, he is right. All too often, we let ourselves off the hook by saying, “I’m not going to try that, because I don’t think I can do it.” This is being lazy. “I can’t do it, so I won’t even try.” As I said these words out loud, they sounded pretty lame. Agree?  If you do, you’ll stop using lack of self confidence as an excuse for not doing the work it takes to become an outstanding performer.

Dynamic Communication

I like Chinese food.  Once, I got a fortune cookie that read, “Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.” I was happy with this fortune, but it made me think.

My talents, your talents, everyone’s talents will be recognized and rewarded if we develop and use our communication skills. There are three types of communication skills critically important for career and life success: 1) Conversation skills; 2) Writing skills; and 3) Presentation skills.  You need to develop each of these skills if you want to have your talents recognized.

Become a good conversationalist by listening.  Conversation skills are important for building your professional network. Networking is an important but often overlooked communication skill. All successful people build and nurture strong networks. 

Writing is another necessary tool that helps get your skills noticed. When I was in high school, I was the editor of my yearbook. To raise funds to cover the cost of our yearbook, we sold ads. There were a lot of factories in the town where I grew up. In the past, the yearbook staff had never approached these factories to place ads in the yearbook. I wrote sales letters to all of the plant managers. We got several full page ads from those letters.

One of the plant managers wrote back, asking if I would come to see him. I got dressed up in my one and only suit and went to his office at the appointed time. When I arrived, his secretary buzzed him to let him know I was there. I heard her say, “No, sir, he sent a student.” When I walked in to his office and introduced myself, he was surprised. He told me that my sales letter was so well written that he thought I was the teacher who was the yearbook sponsor.

Two years later, I was looking for a summer job after my first year of college. The market was tight. I called this man. He remembered me, and I got a job.

Presentation skills may present the biggest opportunity for getting your talents noticed. As I have always worked in training and development, I had to develop and hone my presentation skills at a young age. This wasn’t too difficult for me because I never suffered from stage fright. I used to compete in speech contests when I was in high school. I was the emcee for my high school talent show. I was on the radio in college.

A couple of years ago, I did a talk for a local chamber of commerce. As it so happens, the Sheriff’s department is a member of this chamber. The Sheriff himself happened to be there that day. He liked my talk. About a week later, I got a call from his training office. The Sheriff asked him to get in touch with me to conduct some supervisory training for their sergeants. I never would have gotten this business if it weren’t for the notice I received from a talk at that chamber meeting.

Interpersonal Competence

Interpersonal competence is the final competency that you must master.  No matter how self confident you are, how good you are at creating positive personal impact, how great a performer or dynamic a communicator you are, you will not succeed if you are not interpersonally competent.

Pat Wiesner is a friend.  He is the publisher of Colorado Business.  A while back he wrote a great column entitled “The Biggest Management Sin of All: How to Lose Your Job or at least Deserve to Lose It.”

The biggest sin?  Pat says it is demeaning people. “My belief is that if we get caught shouting at people, demeaning them in any way, we should be fired. On the spot.”

I agree. And this holds for everyone – not just people in leadership and management positions. Raising your voice and demeaning people is not only poor leadership, it is one of the hallmarks of interpersonally incompetent people.

Belittling, intimidating, or otherwise demeaning people is not only nasty, it is destructive to their self esteem and self confidence. Interpersonally incompetent people often seem to feel that the best way to feel good about themselves is to make others feel bad about themselves. That’s why they often engage in demeaning and bullying behavior.

This is simply not true. The title of one of the first self-help books I ever read – published by Thomas Harris in 1969, I’m OK, You’re OK – says it best. Interpersonally competent people come from an “I’m OK, You’re OK” place. Bullies and demeaning people come from an “I’m OK, You’re Not OK” place.

Interpersonally competent people realize that we’re all OK. They work hard to meet people where they are and to build strong relationships with all of the people in their lives.

Treat people with kindness and respect. Help them enhance their feelings of self esteem. Do what you can to build their self confidence. If you do, you’ll be known as an interpersonally competent person – and interpersonally competent people are welcome wherever they go.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people have mastered four C’s – clarity, commitment, confidence and competence.  My Common Sense Success System is based on these four C’s.  I am offering a free 90 minute DVD that explains the four C’s in detail.  Just go to www.CommonSenseSuccessSystem.com to claim your free copy. You can and will succeed if you do four things.  1) Clarify your purpose and direction in life.  2) Commit to taking personal responsibility for your own success.  3) Become a dynamic communicator.  4) Get competent.  You will learn how to do all four of these things when you get my free 90 minute DVD at www.CommonSenseSuccessSystem.com.

That’s my take on the four C’s of success.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always thanks for reading.

Bud

We are all born with five senses: sight, sound, touch, taste and smell.  These senses help us navigate our way through the world.  They bring us delight in small things: the turning of the leaves in autumn, an Eric Clapton guitar lick – or depending on your taste, a Yitzhak Perlman violin piece, the warmth of the sun on your face on the first day of spring, your favorite birthday dinner that your mom always made, the smell of warm bread baking.  They also warn us when danger threatens: lightning in the sky, a police or fire siren, a hot barbeque grill, food that is spoiled and not safe to eat, the odor that is added to natural gas.

However, I believe that we all have a sixth, and underused sense, our common sense.  Your common sense helps you make the right decision in ambiguous situations – but only if you use it.  When I tell people that I’m the Common Sense Guy, people often come back with Will Rogers’ saying, “Common sense isn’t all that common.”  I disagree.  I think that we all have innate common sense.  It’s a natural gift, just like our five other senses.  We don’t always use it though.

Recently, I learned of an emerging science — noetics.  According to the Institute of Noetic Science, “The word ‘noetic’ comes from the ancient Greek nous, for which there is no exact equivalent in English. It refers to ‘inner knowing,’ a kind of intuitive consciousness — direct and immediate access to knowledge beyond what is available to our normal senses and the power of reason.  Noetic sciences are explorations into the nature and potentials of consciousness using multiple ways of knowing — including intuition, feeling, reason, and the senses. Noetic sciences explore the ‘inner cosmos’ of the mind (consciousness, soul, spirit) and how it relates to the ‘outer cosmos’ of the physical world.”

I realize that’s quite a mouthful.  I also believe that our common sense is a type of noetics.  It is an inner knowing of what to do in any given situation.

Thomas Edison once said “Many people miss opportunity because it comes dressed up in overalls and looks like work.”  I often say that many people don’t use their common sense because using it often results in work.  I believe that most people know what to do in most situations, their common sense tells them.  However, many people often don’t do what their common sense says for a number of reasons… “it’s too difficult and not worth the effort,” “it takes too much time,” “so and so might get upset with me,” “I don’t know if I can do it.”  I’ve found that there are as many reasons for not using your common sense as there are people in the world.

That’s one of the reasons I’ve created Use Your Common Sense Day.  It’s kind of like the logic behind the great smoke out – if you can not smoke for one day, you can not smoke for another and another and another, until you’ve quit smoking.  If you are willing to let your common sense guide you today, you can use it as a guide tomorrow, the next day, next week and next month.

The common sense point here is simple.  Common sense is a great career and life success builder.  Successful people use their common sense to create the lives and careers they want and deserve.  My Common Sense Success System is built on four, simple, easy to use, common sense ideas: 1) clarity of purpose and direction; 2) commitment to taking personal responsibility for your life and success; 3) unshakeable self confidence; and 4) competence in four areas – creating positive personal impact, outstanding performance, dynamic communication skills; and 4) the ability to build strong relationships with the important people in your life.  I have put together a 90 free DVD that explains the ideas in my Common Sense Success System.  If you would like this free DVD (I will ask that you pay a small shipping and handling charge) go to www.CommonSenseSuccessSystem.com.  Even if you don’t take me up on this free offer, I urge you to use your common sense today, and tomorrow and the day after.  It’s the best way to create the successful life and career you want and deserve.

That’s my take on common sense and success.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts on my ideas.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

I love the Dilbert comic strip – even though it often points out the how dysfunctional our workplaces can be.  Sunday’s strip was a classic.  Dilbert approaches one of his colleagues and says…

“Could you make these changes in the database?  It will only take five minutes.”

Colleague: “Ooh I don’t know…

Dilbert: “Wait.  Are you planning to spend ten minutes explaining why you don’t have five minute to do this task…Or as you so incompetent that a five minute task will take an hour…Or are you limited by a company policy because you’re a feckless waste of carbon?…Or are you the agreeable but unorganized type who will say yes and lose my note, and forget who asked?

Colleague: “I was planning to tell you this doesn’t need to be done and refuse to change my position even after you give me good reasons.”

Have you ever experienced something like this?  I have.  Worse yet, have you acted like the colleague.  That behavior is a perfect example someone not committing to taking personal responsibility for his own success. 

I have a motto – “Just Say Yes!!!”  I do my best to say yes to everyone who asks a favor of me.  This means that sometimes I have to work a little longer or a little harder – but I think it pays off in the long run.  I have worked hard to build a reputation as not only the Common Sense Guy, but the guy you can count on to help you out.

The other day, a colleague sent me his new website and asked for my comments.  I took the time to look over the site in detail and then provide him with (what I hope) were thoughtful, helpful comments. 

I asked if he would be willing to participate in a book launch I’ll be doing in January for 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  He said yes, but had no give away.  I told him that I would help him create one.

I’m not suggesting that you need to go this far, but you do need to commit to taking personal responsibility for your own success.  The best way to do this is to “Just Say Yes!!!” to requests for help. 

“Just Say Yes!!!” by volunteering for projects inside your company.  In yesterday’s post, I mentioned how you can become known in your company if you’re willing to share your knowledge with others.  I once got a promotion because I volunteered to chair the local United Way campaign for my company – it’s never fun to ask people for money.  In performing my duties, I met several senior executives, one of whom offered me a job when he had an opening a few months down the road.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people commit to taking personal responsibility for creating their personal and professional success.  You can demonstrate your personal commitment to your success by adopting the motto “Just Say Yes!!!”  When people ask for your help, give it to them willingly and pleasantly.  You’ll gain a reputation as a team player – someone who is willing to pitch in and do whatever it takes to get the job done.  A “Just Say Yes!!!” attitude is rarer than you might think.  Sunday’s Dilbert cartoon illustrated this point perfectly.  By saying yes – and delivering, you will set yourself apart from others and demonstrate your commitment to your career and life success.

That’s my take on saying yes and success.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

You can become self confident by doing three things.  First, choose optimism.  Believe in your heart of hearts that today will be better than yesterday, and that tomorrow will be better than today.  Second, face your fears and act.  Procrastination and inaction feed fear and rob you of self confidence.  Action cures fear.  Third, surround yourself with positive people.  Don’t let the naysayers into your life.  Hang around with people who are positive about themselves, their careers and life in general.

Mentors, by definition are positive people.  They are willing to give of themselves to help others grow and succeed.  That’s why I urge all of my coaching clients to find mentors.  However, it is also important to be a mentor.  By mentoring others you are giving back, and you are building your self confidence.  The more you serve others, the more confidence — and success – will come your way.  Besides that, you’ll grow by mentoring.  As you reflect on your life experience and knowledge and distill it into some nuggets that you can share with others, your knowledge and experience will become wisdom.

The October 25, 2009 “Starting Out” column by Jonnelle Marte in the Wall Street Journal Sunday was called “Mentor Your Boss.”  Ms. Marte told the story of several young people in companies who were becoming what she called “reverse mentors.”  In most cases, these people were helping older colleagues learn how to use technology more effectively – and getting some positive career benefits in the process.

Ms. Marte suggests that figuring out how the skills you have can benefit your company is a good place to start.  Then, volunteer for projects where you can use these skills – even if these projects are outside of your department.  “Talk to your boss about how you think the company would benefit from your know-how.  Offer to host a brief seminar for your colleagues.”

I think this is great common sense advice.  We all have something to give.  Sometimes we downplay our knowledge and expertise thinking “everybody knows that.”  Well guess what, everybody doesn’t know a lot of what you know.  You can help others by sharing your knowledge and expertise.  You can also help your company, and your career.  Sharing what you know with others will get you noticed in a positive way.

The other day, I was at a meeting of about 100 people.  There were several presentations over the course of the day.  One woman, who is very intelligent and had some great things to say, did a not-so-good job in her presentation.  She threw in the phrase “you know” way too many times.   At a break, I watched one of her colleagues gently point out the problem with her presentation.  This person then went on to offer to coach and rehearse her the next time she had to do a talk.  That’s one-to-one mentoring in action. 

By recognizing a problem his colleague had with presentations and then offering to help her fix that problem, this person was sharing his expertise, helping a colleague, helping the company and helping build his confidence.  It takes a self confident person to be willing to share his or her knowledge and expertise.

In his book, A Game Plan for Life, John Wooden, the legendary basketball coach says…

“Anywhere there is a sharing of knowledge or a teaching of experience, there is a mentor.  Anywhere there is an individual with life lessons to impart, even to one person, there is a mentor…Mentoring becomes your legacy.  It is the greatest inheritance you can give to others.”

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people surround themselves with positive people.  Mentors, by definition are positive people.  They are willing to give of themselves to help others succeed.  I urge you to find mentors to help you create the successful life and career you want and deserve.  I also urge you to mentor others.  It’s never too early.  As Wall Street Journal reporter, Jonnelle Marte points out – many young people have accelerated their career development by mentoring their boss and colleagues.  I think that we all have something to offer – something that someone else is eager to learn.  Figure out what you know that others around you don’t and then take the time to share your knowledge and expertise.  You’ll be helping your colleagues, your company and yourself if you do so.

That’s my take on the importance of mentoring others in your company.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts and wisdom with us.  If you’ve had a mentor who has really helped you, feel free to give a shout out to him or her here.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

There are four key competencies that will help you become a career and life success:

• You have to be able to create positive personal impact.
• You have to be become an outstanding performer.
• You have to be a dynamic communicator – in conversation, writing and presentations.
• You have to build strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life.

I’m often asked for my best thoughts on what it takes to become a career and life success – the key competencies.  I always tell my coaching clients to think systematically, to break success down into some manageable components.

Here is a summary of what I tell my coaching clients on how to become a career and life success. Put these points to use and you will succeed, just like my coaching clients.  I sent these to my ezine subscribers yesterday, and thought it would be a good idea to post them here.

Do it yourself. Realize that no one is going to do it for you – not even your executive coach. You have to take personal responsibility for your success. Adopt the motto, “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”

Become an optimist. Believe that things will turn out well. When they don’t, don’t sulk. Learn what you can from a problem or failure and use it to your advantage the next time.

Don’t procrastinate. Procrastination is usually tied to fear. In most cases, when you procrastinate, you are doing so because you are afraid of something. Identify those fears and then do something to overcome them. Action cures fear. Act – even when, especially when, you are afraid.

Surround yourself with positive people. Jettison the negative people in your life. If you can’t rid yourself of them completely, do your best to minimize the time you spend with them. Negative people are an energy black hole. They will suck you dry if you let them. 

Find a mentor or executive coach, someone who will help you meet your career and life goals. Mentors and executive coaches, by nature, are positive people. They can help you find the lessons in problems and failures and use these lessons to move forward.

Be a brand. Create and nurture your personal brand. Make sure you stand for and are known for something. Make sure that everything you do is on brand.

Look good. Be well groomed and appropriate for every situation. Always dress one level up from what is expected. In this way, you will stand out from the crowd.  A good executive coach can help you with this.

Have manners. Learn and use the basic rules of etiquette. This will distinguish you as a person who is in the know. Social faux pas might not ruin your career, but they certainly won’t help it.

Make people comfortable. The best etiquette advice I’ve ever received is simple. In any social situation, do what makes the other person or people comfortable.

Become an expert. Master your technical discipline, and then keep learning. Become a lifelong learner. The half-life of knowledge these days is rapidly diminishing. Staying in the same place is the same as going backwards.

Aim high. Set and achieve high goals year after year after year. Use the S.M.A.R.T. technique of goal setting.

Get organized. Learn to use time to your advantage. Organize not only your time but your life and workspace. Sweat the small stuff. Success is in execution. Execution is in the details.

Become an excellent conversationalist. You can do this by listening more than you speak. Pay attention to what other people are saying and respond appropriately.

Write clearly and simply. Short words and sentences are best. Never use two or three words to say what you can say in one. Write in the first person. Use the active voice.

Develop your presentation skills. Adopt this simple formula for your talks: Tell them what you will tell them. Tell them. Tell them what you told them. Write your closing first, your opening next. Then fill in the content.

Get to know yourself, as well or better than your executive coach knows you. Use this knowledge to better understand others.

Get to know others. Use your knowledge of others to build strong, mutually beneficial relationships with them.

Give. Build relationships by giving with no expectation of return. When you help others because you want to, not because you believe they will do something for you, you’ll find that you will be repaid many times over. Giving of yourself, especially your time, is a great way to build strong, lasting relationships.

Use conflict as a means to improve relationships. When you find yourself in a conflict situation, focus on where you agree, not disagree, with the other person. This will help you develop creative solutions to your differences, and improve the relationship.

The common sense point here is clear.  If you want to succeed you need to do at least four things: 1) Get clear on –your purpose and direction in your life and career; 2) Commit to taking personal responsibility for your life and career; 3) Build unshakeable self confidence; 4) Develop the competencies you need to succeed.  Yes, there’s a lot to learn, but there is one point I make over and over again with my coaching clients. You need to use what you learn.  I listed several success quick points above and hopefully you learned something from them.  But, as the U.S. Steel pencils used to say, “Knowing is not enough.” You have to use this knowledge if you’re going to become a career and life success.  Remember, success is a journey, not a destination.  Good luck in your journey.  You’ll succeed if you use what you learn along the way.

That’s my take on using what you learn to create the success you want and deserve.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

You can become self confident by doing three things.  First, choose optimism.  Believe in your heart of hearts that today will be better than yesterday, and that tomorrow will be better than today.  Second, face your fears and act.  Procrastination and inaction feed fear and rob you of self confidence.  Action cures fear.  Third, surround yourself with positive people.  Don’t let the naysayers into your life.  Hang around with people who are positive about themselves, their careers and life in general.

A while back I did a blog post in which I mentioned Evelyn Roberts Brooks new book, Forget Your Troubles.  I discussed her S.M.A.R.T. method for dealing with stress.  Check out the post to see her S.MA.R.T. system for beating stress.

I was doing some more reading in Forget Your Troubles yesterday and came across some interesting points Evelyn makes about fear.  And, as you already know, if you want to build your self confidence and success, you need to face your fears and act. 

Here’s what Evelyn has to say…

• Take your worst fear and look at it from every angle.
• Examine it carefully.
• See what would happen if the absolutely worst most horrible terrible thing did indeed come to pass.
• Sit quietly with that image.
• Exhale.  Realize that if that horrible thing did happen…
• You would find the inner strength and resources and the help you need from outside sources to deal with it in the present moment…
• Which hasn’t come yet.

The stress comes from the fact that right now, this minute, you are imaging a future event that has not happened.  We create TV dramas of future events in our heads and play them out, feeling every emotion as it’s real – but it’s fake!

Take responsibility and take action.  But leave the worrying about the future to other people who don’t mind the stomach aches, wrinkles, insomnia and high blood pressure they get in return.

As I read this, I got to thinking that Evelyn is making the case for facing your fears and acting.  In essence, she says that worrying about something that could happen is just as, or even more, debilitating than going ahead and doing something and dealing with the consequences.  I’ve found that when you face your fears and act, more often than not the consequences turn out to be positive.  And, when they’re negative, you can use them as a learning opportunity.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people face their fears and act.  Inaction and procrastination kill your self confidence.  They also can create stressors that can have a negative impact on your life and health.  When you face your fears and act, you are taking responsibility for building your self confidence and creating the successful life and career that you want and deserve.  Action cures fear.  It beats stress.  It builds your self confidence.  And it puts you on the road to a successful life and career.  The message is clear – do something!

That’s my take on action, stress, self confidence and success.   What’s yours?   Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, you have my most humble and deepest thanks for reading.

Bud

There are four key competencies that will help you become a career and life success:

• You have to be able to create positive personal impact.
• You have to be become an outstanding performer.
• You have to be a dynamic communicator – in conversation, writing and presentations.
• You have to build strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life.

I have done a couple of blog posts recently in which I mentioned the importance of having an abundance mentality.  You can see them here and here.  Dan Robey is an abundant kind of guy.  I am a subscriber to his Power of Positive Habits ezine.  Yesterday, he had a great article in the importance of raising your heart rate to build your fitness.  Fitness is key to becoming an outstanding performer.  You can perform at a consistently high level is you don’t maintain a reasonable level of physical fitness.

Dan was gracious enough to allow me to post his ideas on elevating your heart rate here.  Check them out.  They are great common sense…

Increase Your Heart Rate

Just 4 words but perhaps THE most important words you will every hear.

Why?

Why is it so important to elevate your heart rate on a regular basis? Before I answer that question I want to tell you a story.

As I travel the world and meet many people I hear a lot of complaints about health. People
tell me about joint pain, arthritis, migraine headaches, lack of energy, the list goes on and on. Whenever someone tells me about their health problem I always ask them this simple question:

“How many times a week do you elevate your heart rate to 70% of its maximum?”

Do you know what their answer is 99% of the time?

Zero!

Why is it so important to elevate your heart rate?

Your blood vessels, the arteries and the veins, are a bit over 60,000 miles long (62,000 miles), or 96,500 kilometers.  When your heart rate is elevated it pumps blood at an accelerated pace through your body’s incredibly complicated system of veins and arteries.

This accelerated flow of blood through your body helps to provide increased oxygen to your cells and also helps to keep your veins and arteries clear of plaque that can build up.

Think of the plumbing in your house. After years of use, a drain can easily get clogged up with calcium, sludge and other materials.

If the pipes are too clogged it can shut down the flow of water in your house. A plumber will then have to come out and clear the pipes of the sludge. Your body can also get clogged up and many negative health issues can result.

If you are living a sedentary lifestyle then don’t complain when health problems such as obesity, diabetes, heart problems, migraines, lack of energy suddenly appear in your life.

In many cases they are simply the result of the sedentary lifestyle you have chosen.

Change your lifestyle today and reap the rewards of improved health.

Here are the excuses I hear as to why people say they cannot change their lifestyles:

“I don’t have time.”

“I don’t have the money to join a gym”

“I am not strong enough”

Here are my answer to all of these lame excuses:

It only takes 10 min a day to elevate your heart rate and start achieving health benefits. I don’t care who you are, you can spare 10 min in the morning. So consider this
a cop-out excuse….you can make time.

You don’t need to join a gym, in fact you don’t need any gym equipment at all. Here are some examples. 

Do jumping jacks in the morning.

Jump rope in the morning for 5 minutes, then increase to 10 after time.

Walk briskly around your neighborhood or house.

Climb the stairs in your house or office for 10 minutes.

Do aerobics while watching an aerobics show on TV.

Age does not matter. Studies have shown that elderly people in their 80’s benefited from exercise programs.

You can figure 70% of your maximum heart rate by subtracting your age from 220 then multiply that by 0.70 that is your target heart rate.

I’ll be elevating my heart rate a little later today.  We had our first big snow in Denver overnight.  It’s still snowing as a matter of fact.  Once it quits, I’ll be out there with a shovel.  Shoveling snow is one of the best ways I know to elevate your heart rate.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are consistently high performers.  It is easier to become a high performer – and maintain a high level of performance – when you are physically fit.  Increasing your heart rate is a great way to improve your level of fitness.  Dan Robey, author of The Power of Positive Habits says that most of the excuses he hears for not exercising to elevate your heart rate are pretty lame.  Day says that the biggest excuse he hears is that “I don’t have the time for exercise.”  And he’s right – that’s lame excuse.  All you have to do is get up a half hour earlier and you can find the time for a little aerobic exercise that will elevate your heart rate, improve your level of fitness and help you become a consistently high performer.

That’s my take on the relationship between aerobic exercise high performance and success.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud