I am sitting in a hotel in Boston before leaving for fitbloggin' because Mr. MM swears this is 'easier' than driving up super early in the morning tomorrow.  What would have made more sense is buying a plane ticket later in the morning, but I Don't Complain Sometimes, Except when met with choices like:  $14.99 interninget, $9.99 adult entertainment, or $21.99 sandwich?  And, damn it?  I am hungry.

This is why people get 'sponsors' for blog conferences yanno. 

In the end, I chose net.  

I got desperate enough earlier to find coffee and braved the airport for it.  That Was Fun. 

Y'all better be going naked, because I might.

I haven't shopped for clothing in a very long time, and since we are credit card-less, it's even more special to go clothes shopping.  You go when you HAVE TO go.  Like, when your ass is busting out of the 8, 10, 12's and 14's you own.  I have to.  I just don't have the time or money right now.  

I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR A WORD ABOUT IT, this conference isn't costing me much, but a new ward-drobe in a size f a t will.  

(On that note -- I just dropped a kid off to play --- three little girls --- totally matching outfits to hair bows -- mom is put together like glue -- I don't think she has a job.  How do they do it?  Afford it?)

/end whine.

 
Low Carb Blackberry Pancakes.  Yes, Ma'am.  

My favorite berries = blackberries, even if I don't really EAT them, I like the idea of them, frozen, blended and IN stuff.  ;)  And, I really like the idea of these RIGHT NOW, at 8pm, post low blood sugar.  KTHANX.

From Pimp My Protein Shake - 

Low Carb, Low Cal Blackberry Pancakes

• 2 TB coconut flour
• 1 egg, 2 whites
• 1/2 c. blackberries, fresh or partially frozen
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• pinch of salt
• few drops of liquid stevia, or other sweetener of your choice
• 3 TB water, milk or non-dairy milk
• Beat eggs
  
• Use a sifter or a strainer to shake the coconut flour and baking powder into the eggs while whisking (or put everything into the blender). Go ahead and add everything else except blackberries.
• Batter will be thick and will coat the whisk without dripping off. Fold in the blackberries. If they’re frozen and defrosted all the way, the pancakes will be purplish rather than golden – still delicious though
• Cook over medium heat until set. Flip ‘em carefully.

Esophagogastroduodenoscopy

Esophagogastroduodenoscopy

Say that three times fast and you get a free fentanyl + versed cocktail.  Except, sometimes it doesn't work very well, and it's like you are having a bad dream where you can't scream, and you can feel what's happening and can't TELL THEM TO STOP.  

Yeah, it was THAT GOOD.

 
I was 'out of it' enough, I felt myself drop off into nowhere-land, but I felt the scope go in my throat and I gagged and fought it, bad.  I could feel myself "trying" to wake up to say "stop."  Yeah, that wasn't happening.  The nurses were talking about it, and wrote on my chart, that I was gagging and fighting it off. (Go drunk me!)  I know people have this done without sedation, but, I can't even eat a banana without gagging, so ... no.  I would have died from the THOUGHT.

All of three minutes, and a diagnosis of Nothing Wrong, except apparently I have a gastric bypass.  Shit. 

(No, I did not WANT anything to be wrong, but I thought surely there had to be an ulcer or something.  I am thankful there isn't, because Hello?  Coffee.  And, yeah, coffee.  FTW.)

And, yeah, I still feel it.  But, it's not in the pouch.  It's a mystery!

Maybe I misunderstood this function of Stickam.  Maybe I will try it.  If only to get THIS GUY.

I swear to Dog, it's Andrea's fault, but she had all sorts of intestinal drama last week, and had scans and looksies, and now it's my turn, because OF COURSE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO GO TO A CONFERENCE ON FRIDAY.

But, after 24 hours of distress and a few phone calls, I have an endoscopy tomorrow.  

This is not something I should be happy about, but to tell you the TRUTH?  I want to be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that my innards are not twisting and coming out of my body, because, for a minute there?  It felt like it, and right NOW, it feels like my pouch is marinating in acid.  I told the the surgeon this a couple weeks ago, and the PCP, months ago, but it's never been "pressing," you know?

So.  That's that.  

I can still feel it.  

The stuck, the stuck-ed, what was previously-stuck, was might have been stuck, or whatever the heck it WAS/IS, I can still feel it.  

It's not painful now, it's just, not right.  

(I have a tender spot directly at the bottom of my esophagus/pouch/whatever I cannot see internally but I am ignoring it as I have been the pain.) 

 
But, please to know, I've never had my guts checked out, in six years, I have no clue if there's anything in there ulcers or otherwise.  I could have hernias and fruit salad growing in me, I have no idea.

I just realized (No, I knew, but other stuff has been happening, endocrine visits, and whatnot) the surgeon's office never called me to set up that endoscopy appointment.  (When was that appointment anyway?  February?)  I told the surgeon "I think I have an ulcer."  And, he said "endoscopy."  So, yeah, that hasn't happened.

Yesterday would have been a PRIME time to shove a camera down my pie hole.   

Calling there now -- kind of pointless -- likely to get a slot in... JUNE?  But, I will call, because trying to find a local GI doc to deal with me?  HAHAHAHAHAHA.  *going to get the phone*

• I called.  The woman told me that she "didn't know" when I'd hear back from the scheduling folks, that there is a list of people waiting for endoscopy.  O-o  And sent me to a voicemail.  I left a VM.
• Called Tufts' GI department direct.  They said they could see me in April, if I could get a referral. (This guy was actually nice on the phone.  :)  )
• Called local hospital endoscopy department.  They said I could be seen if I go to PCP > GI > referral > Endoscopy.
• Emailed endocrinologist, totally unrelated -- however -- he's in same hospital -- perhaps he can assist?
• Endo called WLS department for me - and told me to call them later - again if I didn't hear back.
• Making hot tea.  Sitting.  Because.  It's not comfortable.  Come on. 
• 1:30pm -  Called back myself.  Woman says the surgeon is on vacation, I ask if she can just get me scheduled for endoscopy, she says they only do it via "email."  And, I should hear in a couple days.  I told her I was trying to avoid driving my self to the local emergency room.  No dice.
• 3:00pm - Lovely woman from endoscopy department calls and offers me appointment tomorrow.