The rest of this week (and really, this time!) I’m going to be going through the basics of the way I document our every day with the humble iPhone and a few camera apps. I hope it will encourage you to see your camera phone as the single biggest asset for family memory keeping. It’s fun, it’s easy, and you’re bound to be tethered to your phone anyway.

During analog weekend, my goal isn’t to shun technology all together–it’s simply to get away from the “noise” of online life. For me, that’s social media and not the hardware. So, I keep my phone on me and continue to take pictures. I don’t generally edit them that very second, because I want to get right back in there and not delay the fun or ruin the moment.

So, they sit in my camera roll and then Sunday night or during my workday Monday I sweep through the images quickly. I’m not aiming for perfection–I’m just aiming to freeze time and capture a memory.

boston

By Wednesday afternoon, I could feel my nerves in my throat. I was wound tight and my head thumped like a drum. Every slight request from one of the boys sounded like a tambourine in my ears, loud and crashing–all dissonance and clammer.

It caught me off guard. Although, maybe it shouldn’t have. To be truthful, it’s been a long time since my nerves have felt like frayed wires and my only defaults were snap and react. But, I’ve found myself there again.

Anxiety finds me in the strangest of ways, it’s flashpoint never exactly matching the way it spills forth. It would have been obvious if suddenly I was afraid of running or industrial facilities. But, I think that’s why it took me so long to recognize.

When Asher was born and then was suddenly so sick, I was fine while he was in the hospital and until he was home safe. I was all adrenaline and caffeine. But, when he got home and was settled in, I felt myself unable to cope with the sounds and the stimulus of our home life. Although I healed remarkably quickly from his birth, my body felt awful. I started having irrational fear that my health was failing. Stress can do crazy things to your body, and an already over-burdened mind can become unmoored and travel down a rabbit trail you never sought.

Muscle tension, body aches, edginess, restlessness, stomach aches, fatigue. That is how I experience anxiety. For me, anxiety sneaks up. Before I ever feel fear or worry, I feel the physical symptoms. Because of that, it takes me awhile to realize I’m not actually or physically ill. It takes me awhile to realize that there is a deeper or underlying cause for the way I’m feeling.

This week, with all of the sad and scary news, I found myself feeling alarmingly like I did at the beginning of my Postpartum Anxiety with Asher. It took me until Friday to realize it, but, looking back over the week I can see the progression.

Normally, I’ll kind of let small household things slip because I’m feeling a little off my game. Then, I’ll find myself overwhelmed by emails and phone calls–things that are normally not a problem. Before I know it, my shoulders are hanging out up near my ears and I’m so tense that every sound has me startled. I’m normally completely fatigued, and therefore drinking copious amounts of caffeine (a known nemesis for anxiety sufferers everywhere).

It was hard to put a name to my feelings after Asher was born. I wasn’t afraid of caring for him or taking him out in public. I wasn’t afraid he was going to get sick or be the victim of tragedy. BUT, because I felt so physically awful I became afraid for my own health. I became very convinced I was dying of a very particular ailment. Would I be taken away and unable to care for him? I think for me, my anxiety boils down to control. My anxiety was triggered by my complete loss of control when he was sick.

When my world feels shaken and upside down, I have a hard time believing the goodness of God. I begin to wonder exactly just how sovereign God really is. I have a hard time reconciling His goodness with what He allows. It becomes increasingly difficult to rest and abide in Him for my everyday–and I find myself frantically striving. In teeny tiny ways and very quick decisions, I begin to try to do it on my own strength and in my own power. Certainly, if God allows terrible things to happen then it’s time for me to take the reigns.

I should know better, and I really do. I wish my mind wouldn’t disobey and betray me. I know that I am incapable of adding even an hour to my life, so I’m unsure why I’m so sure I’d run things better than God. My experience has shown me that when I try to grab control, then I’m leaving the safe harbor of the only way I know to right my ship.

It’s no wonder when I choose to go it alone, suddenly unsure of provision and power and purpose and protection, that I feel small and unfettered. I wish that in the times of uncertainty that I’d hunker down and stay lashed close. I wish that I’d tie up to the strongest, unmoving, unchanging thing I know.

Thankfully, I’m learning and that’s what I did last week. I know I promised a simple memory keeping series, but instead I needed to practice some quiet and some self-care. I needed to find my way back to the safety of the docks, to tie familiar knots, to ride out the storm.

Life isn’t certain. We aren’t promised tomorrow and certainly not comfort. Honestly? I don’t know what to do with the events of this past week. There isn’t a neat and tidy box I can fit that crazy into. But, I do know that the only way I can find peace is through His Spirit–and right now that’s the only comfort I can find.

My social media breaks don’t have as much to do with engaging with my kids (because I think I do an alright job in the tension of social media + “momming” as it is) as it does with quieting my own mind.

See, social media moves lightening fast, and I hold on to information like a sponge. It feels like my brain tries to keep every bit of detail I’ve ever learned in the forefront of my mind. I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling frantic all of the time it.

I started to feel like I had no original thoughts left. When it came time to write, I couldn’t eek out more than 300 words at a time–and 300 words isn’t enough to flesh out much of anything. I wasn’t reading. I wasn’t writing. I wasn’t taking pictures. I wasn’t creating much of anything.

Then, it hit me. I was consuming like a child who’d been deprived. Thing was, a lady can’t feast all the time and not feel the extra weight eventually.

And, I was feeling heavy. 

So, now, every weekend–I take time to fast from social media. It’s not time to pay more attention to my kids, because my attention to my sweet boys is not lacking. But, it is time to live life a little slower. Writing in more than 140 character soundbites. Thinking in more than 300 word chunks.

The internet is a really beautiful thing. I feel like everywhere I look online there are women I want to huddle in close and have a real conversation with. I want to hear their hopes and dreams and exciting things.

But generally, those things don’t happen by just trolling Twitter mindlessly, which can be the habit I fall into with my iPhone. Someone referred to it as the Bermuda Triangle of smartphones (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook), switching between the three whenever you’re bored.

That is what I’m against in my own life. That mindless consumption is not good for my soul. It makes me lazy, and weary, and heavy, and thoughtless.

When I’m bored, I want to be thinking of bigger things. I want my imagination to be pushed to something I don’t see in my own reality. When there is so much beauty to be had at my fingertips–just a glass screen separating–I don’t often chase down bigger ideas than what so-and-so had for breakfast. I can just thumb through and then sit on the sidelines, watching someone else’s highlight reel.

Instead of catching up on the highlight reel, I need to be doing stretches and heavy lifting of my own. So, I take two days per week to really and truly step away so that I can be all there.

You can join me on Analog Weekend. If you want to be official and all…you can grab the graphic I put up on Friday afternoons and use the hashtag #AnalogWeekend.

Today’s technology can bless the mess out of our families…if we know when and how to use it and when to put it on the shelf for awhile. It’s my hope that we’d be people who know how to interact healthily with technology, not shunning it nor gorging on it. Hope you’ll walk with me in what it looks like to be a modern day woman with modern day conveniences and modern day challenges.

These are the ways I’m finding a little color and hope in these first dreary days of spring:

1. Go to the library. My suggestion for moms who have to go with young kids–either browse online and put your books on hold (so they are nice and tidy for you to just grab near the front of the library) or just head straight to the “new books” section at the front of the library and grab the first couple that look interesting to you. Going to the library with small kids can be miserable, and the point is the REFRESH…so make it easy on yourself and you’ll want to do it again and again. Also, because sometimes I lose track of library books–I always check out the same amount of books so I’ll know how many I need to find/round up to return. I can never remember each title I checked out, but I can remember that I need to find 8 books to return. ;)

2. Find a candle that you absolutely adore. Light it like a tiny ritual when you’re relaxing. Soon, the smell itself will trigger a restful or at least peaceful feeling for you. I have a candle in my kitchen that makes it feel like a treat to be working in the kitchen. I have a candle by my bed for when I’m reading. And I have a candle in my office that just the smell signals work and creativity in my mind.

3. Do one thing that is stealing your peace. I get into a creative block when there are things weighing heavily on my mind. Tasks that are left undone or things I know I need to deal with are the fastest joy killers for me. Just pick one thing and cross it off the list. 

4. Go analog. Head to Jessi’s post to read about Analog Weekend and some of the reasons behind why I started doing it.

Also, we had so much fun writing about being refreshed this week (and by golly, creativity really does beget creativity!). We found we had so much more to say than could fit into a week’s worth of posts. So, coming soon…

Here are some really basic things you can do RIGHT NOW to refresh your wardrobe and your view on your clothes (without spending a dime):

1.  Get rid of what you KNOW doesn’t work. Whhhooooosh, don’t you feel like you just lost 10 lbs?

2. Confine what you KNOW works to a set number of matching hangers. Matching hangers don’t have to be expensive, but will make you feel lovely about what you do have to wear. I have 50 matching wooden (cheap! from Target!), and I only keep 50 items in my wardrobe…that way I can keep them all on lovely hangers. When I start borrowing the dry-cleaner wire hangers from my husband’s closet…that’s when I know I need a purge.

3. Pick a color palette that works for you. I do a lot of navy, black, and grey. I know I like to wear red. I don’t wear a lot of purple or pink–so I don’t buy it. Stop buying things in colors you know you won’t wear. :) We all have natural preferences, and you don’t have to fall prey to every trendy color.

4. If you have a little extra money to spend, buy just a few things that will refresh what you already have. If you have a small and edited wardrobe of things you love and feel great in–it won’t take much to refresh and get you excited for the new season.

My eBook The No Brainer Wardrobe is super helpful and walks you through your wardrobe and how to use it–rather than how to let it stress you out. I never spend more than 5 minutes picking out an outfit for the day, I only own 5 pairs of shoes, and I don’t buy random clothes from Target every time I’m there for diapers. I think adopting similar habits would help a lot of women gain a lot of peace when it comes to their clothes and closets. :)

Jessi is talking about refreshing her wardrobe over at Naptime Diaries!

I do not love to do my hair. I’m a wash and go kind of girl. The most I can muster on most days is a quick top-knot or really quick curls. This is a fun variation on wash and go! I know that I have some crazy bits sticking out–I promise it would have looked better if I was looking IN THE MIRROR. :) This would also be great for second day hair, after you do easy beachy curls or a blowout.

My hair magician/friend Megan (who also helped with my “Awesome Bangs” post) helped us come up with some great styles that are super easy and make it look like you did more than roll out of bed before you braved the day. Jessi is showing a quick video of the 2 minute top knot–this is how I do my top-knots, and it’s great for if you don’t have a ton of hair, too. Lindsey (our Influence blog manager) was with us, too, and has now mastered the BEST mom hair the 5 minute curls.

No one really taught me how to apply makeup correctly. Everything I figured out was through trial and error and lots of YM magazine articles. I would spend my babysitting money on drugstore cosmetics, always a particular fan of eyeliner.

Since then, I’ve been a fan of a pared down makeup bag. While I still like to experiment with new products, I mostly keep things super simple. There is something about a swipe of lipstick or some good strong concealer that makes me feel a little more put together and a lot better about my efforts as a woman.

Having a super “less fuss” makeup routine is the only thing that ensures that I’ll actually end up wearing any makeup. In that same vein, each of these looks is super easy and builds on each previous look, just adding a step or two each time.

You haven’t really lived until you’ve revealed your makeupless face on the Internet. I applied Radiant Cosmetic’s Perfect Finish Liquid Foundation.  I am super hesitant about foundation…I don’t like a lot of gunk on my face. But, Radiant’s had great coverage and was still super light and kind of still showed the texture of my skin. I appreciate that in foundation, I don’t want to look like I’ve been photoshopped in real life.

This is my “normal everyday hanging around the house” look. I just throw a couple strokes of mascara on, smushing it into my lashline as I go to create the look of liner without the extra step. I had been wearing ELF blush in Pink Passion which I do love and was perfect for paler winter skin. However, as it warms up I find I want to warm up my face a little, too. Radiant’s Cardinal Blush is SUCH a gorgeous color and makes a fresh face look really healthy and glowy.

This is the kind of makeup I’d wear if I was headed out to do something kind of special during the day (you know, like going to the grocery story or a playdate). I added both Georgia and Al Fresco shadow all over my lids and threw on some Sierra lip gloss, which is just a more saturated version of my natural lip color.

Radiant has this fabulous navy shadow that can be used dry or wet. I wanted to do a winged eye–something a little gentler than a cat eye. So, we used a handy little trick involving a post-it note and the Radiant eye shadow in Ahoy. Use a post-it note (as shown in image below) and then just blend, blend, blend in towards the middle of the eye. I wanted a nude lip, so I smeared a tiny bit of foundation onto my lips and then applied the Moisturizing Lipstick in Piazza. The foundation makes it so that the true color of the lipstick shows, rather than my natural lipcolor plus the lipstick’s color.

Radiant Cosmetics donates a minimum of 20% of their profits to combatting human trafficking. Beyond their monetary contributions, Radiant Cosmetics works to bring attention to the plight of modern day slaves around the world. Founder Nicole Marett believes that for-profit companies should be just as active in bringing justice as not-for-profits, and Radiant Cosmetics works towards that goal every day.

How long do you normally spend on your “makeup routine”? Do you have any favorite products or just “go to” looks?

If you feel a little lost, fragmented, not quite yourself…
If you feel dusty and tired, or frozen and locked up…
we understand.

Winter is over and it’s time for a little refresh. 

Like coming home from a long vacation and changing the sheets or hanging new curtains, it’s a sweet joy to be grateful for who God made you to be and freshen it up all at once. We can throw away the notion that we need to be different or better or someone else altogether, while still putting the pieces back together and bringing a little color back to your life. This week we’ll talk about all the ways women can find refreshment – from our hearts to our wardrobes to our creative lives. We’d love to have you join us and join the conversation about what how you best refresh.

Two ladies. One week. An experimental how-to in refreshment. 
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It’s been a long time coming. Last year at this time I was very newly pregnant after a very unexpected miscarriage. We were in the very infancy of Influence, not knowing even a quarter of what God would show us in the coming year. Since then, my oldest started kindergarten, we had the conference, I went into preterm labor, enjoyed several weeks of bedrest (with 3 lively boys!), started the Influence Network, and then two weeks later I had sweet Eli.

I say none of that to toot my own horn. Truly, truly, truly. I say it to let you know…I’m tired. I’m plain worn out. I feel like I have no more words to say and certainly no new ideas. I feel dried up and wrung out.

I’d venture to say that Jessi and I struggle in different ways. Where she’s a fount of beautiful words in this season, I’m maybe a shallow and muddy puddle…but I’m just glad I’m not scorched earth. I fear I’ll never have an original thought again, ever. I find myself wanting to be productive and an effective communicator–and it’s not coming naturally to me right now.

So, while we will have lots of great ideas about makeup, clothes, hair, and the like…right now? I’m more worried about the state of my mind and my heart.

It’s been a very out there and creative year for me. Far more than ANY other year in my life. I feel like I need that to be said. This year has been an anomaly. But really, it’s clear that I don’t have the processes or the rhythm to sustain what the Lord has put into motion. It can’t be done in my own strength…and I’ve tried. Trust me, I’ve tried. I’m here to tell you, trying to do anything in my own strength has left me plum tired.

But, I’ve realized, I need to be more concerned with abiding than with creating. It’s true, you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip. And, it’s also true that a tired and wrung out mom of four will not create anything worthwhile on her own. She’ll also not get any laundry done–and her boys will wear mismatched socks and the jeans that are too short and the shirts with holes in them…bottom of the barrel stuff.

And, I don’t want anyone to get the bottom of the barrel stuff. I’ve also noticed that when I’m scratching at the bottom of the barrel, it feels like I’m awfully small and a long way from the light. I tend to live small and scared and wound so very tight. That’s just not going to work.

So…in my effort to refresh.

1. I will abide. I will rest and exercise quiet. I will save my public words for when they are important…conversely, I’ll write more for private creativity. I’ll explore Scripture and literature more than Netflix and Hulu. :)
2. I will pinpoint what is stealing my peace each day. I will do my best to not allow it to continue to steal my peace. It may be laundry or it may be unresolved conflict. But, I ruminate and obsess when I don’t have peace. Neither rumination nor obsession are generally great for whole or healthy living.
3. I will regularly talk with women who are a step or two ahead of me in life. I will look to them for encouragement, correction, and input.
4. I will live a little messy. I will make an effort not to be so safe or careful or afraid. I want to live bravely so other’s feel free to do so, as well.

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The rest of this week, we’ll bring you tips about how to hit the refresh button on your wardrobe, makeup routine, quicker than quick hairstyles. We’ll keep pointing to our hearts while also keeping it really practical and hope-filled.

Head over to see what Jessi is thinking about her habit of Real Housewives of Wherever. We’d love to hear in the comments what you are doing this spring to hit the refresh button.

It’s April 1st. The remnants of our last snowman still sit in the front lawn. The squirrels and birds are only mildly interested in the carrots and cherry tomatoes that our poor snowman left as his final sacrifice. It’s Spring Break, and this Indiana girl is hoping that the muddy earth warms up and the air starts smelling like hope and promise.

This Indiana girl needs some hope and some promise. After one of the hardest weekends on record for me personally (nothing radical or horrible–just a lot of life happening at once), I feel like I need an Easter do-over today. Thankfully, the Good News of hope, and redemption, and restoration is ours every day–and God’s mercy is new each and every morning. The sun rises on the hope of each new day.

I can get greedy for new days. I can look so forward to tomorrow that I forget the gift of finishing today well. Life rolls along at a quick pace, too quickly if we aren’t careful to give thanks for the days.

This summer, I’m hoping for hopelessly long days and nights spotted with lightning bugs. This summer I’m hoping for memories made that sound like laughter and taste like sun-warmed watermelon.

The days are long, but the years are short. That is the core statement of motherhood–or any of adulthood really. Nobody can quite explain to me how once you turn 20 the years speed by, ever quickening. This phenomena defies all that I know to be true of time, but yet it seems to be a universal affliction. One season gives way to another, and yet another, and another. Pretty soon you’re back to where you started, except another calendar year later.

If you’re hoping to join us for The Influence Conference 2013–hurry and snag your ticket (they’re going on sale today!).