Ever wonder why companies that sell internet related services to real estate agents pitch their products using the telephone?   The companies can easily be found on the internet but no one is looking for them.  There is a reason why no one is looking for them.  Kind of sad if you ask me.  Sniff . . . .but I don’t feel sorry enough for them to buy anything . . .

I Looked myself up to see if I had completed my quadrennial ethics training.  It seems that I missed an entire four year cycle.  I read the rules and if you miss they can throw you out of the NAR until you complete the training.  It doesn’t say what they do if you miss an entire cycle and go six seven years with out quadrennial ethics.  I recall taking the course in 2008 at the offices of what has to be the most screwed up Realtor association in the country.  I am not going to sweat it but it you are an agent you might want to check and see what your status is. . . . .I don’t think there is a huge chance of getting caught if you miss the training but the current cycle ends December of 2012 and I am sure all members want their ethics training.

Yesterday when I got one of those emails from someone who needs me right now to help with home buyers and sellers in my area I asked them to prove it by giving me the name of one buyer or seller in my area that needs my help.  They could not do it because they are making the whole thing up

Listen boys and girls if the only way you can get business is to make up lies find a new line of work.  You don’t really want to go to hell do you?  Does your mother know that you tell lies?  Should I tell her? I am sure you can find honest work somewhere.

Some folks have told me I should be nice to telemarketers.  I agree and I will start being nice to them as soon as they start being nice to me and stop calling me on my cell phone when I am trying to work or when I am in the car or when I am with clients or any other time.

I am actually saving telemarketers time by hanging up or saying no to more business because I am not going to buy anything anyway and they need to move on.

Some days I wonder why the experts, gurus and evangelists who have dedicated their lives to real estate don’t spend more time helping those poor telemarketers.   They must need apps, and values and . . .I wouldn’t mind seeing some of them branded.

I have been reading about the talent wars among the big players in the real estate industry.  We have gone backward and now big is the new big and small is for losers but that isn’t my point.

The sucking sounds you may have been hearing has been coming from the great state of Arizona where a couple of people that I never heard of way up here in Minnesota and one person I have heard of got hired by Zillow.  I learned about Zillow several years ago.  In fact Zillow started up the same year that the housing market started to crash . . probably a coincidence . . is there really such a thing as a coincidence? . . or did low zestimates cause property values to decline triggering the housing crash and the biggest recession in history?  I need to stay on topic here and besides no one can prove it one way or another.

Apparently this huge talent drain will rock the real estate industry and the nation for years to come.  It is possible that laws will be passed to prevent something like this from happening again because talent is being sucked out of Illinois too and sent to Colorado to work for Trulia.  Colorado already has the most talented people in real estate but apparently can make room for one more.

I would like to point out that there is still one talented person left in the real estate industry in Arizona and that is Jonathan Dalton.  He is also a real estate blogger which elevates him to the level of real estate deity.

Jonathan Dalton and Tobey

I plan on leaving Minnesota to be Jonathan’s agent and represent him and his little dog Tobey too in the talent war.   I have not yet asked Jonathan for the job but am confident that I will get it because anyone else who is talented enough to represent him already has a gig.  Jonathan is going to be hard to work with though because he has values but that could change after we spend some quality time together.

It isn’t too late to hire the most talented person in the real estate industry who has not yet accepted a position . . and of course his little dog Tobey too.

Give me money and I’ll recommend your product.

Pay for my travel, and accommodations and a ticket to the next really great conference and I will give your products rave reviews.  I can be very convincing. I will do cart wheels and sing if you can get me out of here in January when it is really cold.

For a decent salary, health insurance, and travel on the company dollar I will promote your product 25 hours a day 400 days of the year.  I will wear your logo on all of my clothes including my underwear and put it on my sheets too.   I will sing your praises and insist that any real estate agent that wants to survive and even thrive needs to use your product.

My beliefs and preferences are for sale, buy them before someone else does.

It is time that I spread the wealth and start working on the perfect real estate company.  The most  perfect and  coolest  companies allow their employees to dress like they are getting ready to clean the garage and they have beer in the company fridge.  In Real estate we are held to a much higher standard which makes the job less cool but it has it’s moments.  After all it isn’t just a job it is a higher calling to be one of the few, the brave, the Realtors.

Young men in black

The perfect brokerage only serves coffee and all agents even though they are independent contractors must wear dark colored suits every day and sit at desks in opulent offices. Lots of glass and loads of art work in the perfect brokerage.

There is more to being the perfect agent or having the perfect brokerage than suits or coffee but both are a step in the right direction.

You may think virtual offices and working in collaboratives and coffee shops is cool and that real estate doesn’t happen in your office but you are wrong.  Real estate is about brands and culture and neither can happen unless everyone goes to the office even if it means less time with clients.    Without the brand and some culture, based on suits an coffee instead of beer and blue jeans there is nothing.

Even though it always ends badly for me when I get mixed up with companies and people with values a brokerage is only as good as it’s values.  I don’t see the harm in that as long as they are just on paper and not actually a way of doing business.   Values can cut into the bottom line and business can really get messed up when values are involved.

I will be writing more about my perfect real estate company, and I may even be starting one because that is only slightly harder than writing abou it.

There is a neighborhood group that I participate in and I enjoy gossiping with my neighbors and sharing news with them.

My children .  . well they are not children anymore . . are on Facebook and I enjoy seeing what is going on in their lives.  I send them messages and we share photos.

A friend that I have known since I was five or six who lived a block away from me when I was growing up is on Facebook and we have a lot of fun on Facebook.  We have not had much  contact over the years as we raised our children in different cities.

My cousins are on Facebook and it has been wonderful connecting with them again too.

When I look at Facebook I rarely even think about business.  I know how wrong that is but I can’t help myself.  I know that social networks are just for marketing.   Maybe it is because I wasn’t taught how to use Facebook by a real estate trainer or through a class at a brokerage.

I know you won’t hate me for this because you are way too self absorbed to really care how anyone else uses Facebook. Your life is so filled with drama and trauma as you over think everything I doubt if you really notice anyone at all especially not anyone on Facebook.

I know my client stopped paying his mortgage some time ago.  I am working very hard to sell the home he owes the money on.

No I will not make a payment to  you  on my sellers behalf so that you can keep the account open.  Yes I am sure other agents do that all the time and thanks for pointing that out to my client.

You won’t be getting a dime from me.   I have spent plenty of money on my client and worked very hard and to date he has not paid me a dime, and I will not be paid anything unless you approve the short sale and if it closes.  You asking me for money is extorsion. . . and by the way thanks for taking so much of my time.

You may be able to intimidate some real estate agents into giving you money but I am not one of them so just stop asking me.  You have a problem and I have chosen not to make it my problem.  You have several other problems that I am also able to ignore.  It must really suck to be you.

Good Luck,

T was here