The Nationals Enquirer

Can you believe the Nats declined that $10 million option on Austin Kearns?

2009-11-07T15:16:13-05:00

(AP Photo. The Austin Kearns Era is effectively over in D.C.)

Ted Lerner says: I'll take the $1 million buyout, thank you very much!

And just like that, the only remaining character from the deal that epitomized the Jim Bowden Era in DC is gone.

Kearns, Da Meathook, Ron Villone, Livo, and Josh Bard have filed for Free Agency.

Meanwhile...

Nats now just waiting to announce Jim Riggleman as manager (press conference later this week) after the dust clears from tomorrow's inevitable Redskins loss?

Befriend The Nationals Enquirer on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Oh BLEEP!! Noooo!!! Strasburg scratched? Career in jeopardy?

2009-11-06T20:24:47-05:00

Break out the Panic Button, NatsTown.

Earlier this afternoon, news broke that Stephen Strasburg will miss his scheduled start in the Arizona Fall League's Rising Stars Game tomorrow due to a strained muscle in his neck.

According to the Washington Times, the neck injury was suffered while he was sleeping (let's cut and paste from Chatter):

According to an AFL official, Strasburg woke up Wednesday morning with neck stiffness. This morning, he was examined by a doctor, who diagnosed it as a strained muscle. It doesn't appear to be anything serious, though obviously you never really know until the player returns to the field.

This is unacceptable. Time to fire Strasburg's goddamn pillow.

Befriend The Nationals Enquirer on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Money can't buy you love, but it can buy you a World Series Trophy

2009-11-05T07:31:16-05:00

(Reuters Pictures: Dear Ted Lerner, Can you buy DC a World Series Championship, please? Sincerely, NatsTown)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

$201.4 Million in Payroll 7, Phillies 3: Cash is King!

Okay now that the World Series is over: Can the Nats just get it over with and announce that Riggleman is permanent, please?

Meanwhile...

Byron Kerr caught up with Interim Jim over at MASN Sports dot com.

Befriend The Nationals Enquirer on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

No Donnie Baseball in DC?

2009-11-03T21:27:55-05:00

(Photo by Reuters Pictures. According to the Washington Times, Don Mattingly, right, has decided not to interview for the Nats job. He's decided to wait around for Joe Torre to kick the bucket out in LA.)

Good news! No Acta Redux!

Phew! No on-the-job training for Next Nats Manager in 2010.

Lerners apparently too cheap* to pay for a big name like Valentine; will go with the obvious choice instead.

It's a good thing DC is a two-paper town, and one of them still realizes there's a baseball team that calls this town home - the always on-point Mark Zuckerman and Ben Goessling reported today that the Nats managerial short-list just got even shorter. Let's cut and paste from the Washington Times:

Mattingly, though, declined to interview with the Nationals, Dodgers GM Ned Colletti said today through a team spokesman. The 48-year-old former All-Star first baseman is a possible heir apparent in Los Angeles once Joe Torre retires, and he prefers to remain with the defending NL West champions.

Washington ownership also is reluctant to spend top dollar on its manager, according to club sources, which would likely eliminate any high-profile candidates like Bobby Valentine or Buck Showalter, despite interest from both former managers in the job.

Besides Riggleman, the only other known candidate is former Mariners and Diamondbacks manager Bob Melvin, who has spoken to Rizzo in recent weeks but could be more attractive as a bench coach.
(via Chatter/Washington Times, 11/04/2009)

As far as we're concerned, this is good news.

Meanwhile...

ZZZZZZ Mike Rizzo's FO remodel continues. Wait, isn't Ron Schueler like the fifth or sixth special advisor to the GM Mike Rizzo has hired this offseason? The names and positions are all starting to blend together. And, with the hiring of Bill Singer as director of professional scouting, Mike Rizzo has now hired everybody he ever worked with in Arizona, with the exception of the parking attendant at Chase field who parked cars at the employee lot.
Strasburg survived his fourth AFL start without a career ending injury. Sounds like he was pretty good, too.
*we kid, we kid!

Befriend The Nationals Enquirer on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Stan Kasten says: Go Phillies!

2009-10-29T06:20:11-04:00

(AP Photo. The Philadelphia Phillies are Stan Kasten's second favorite team in the NL East. But he'll always be a Brave at heart.)

Stan's Favorite Paying Customers 6, Big Market Team 1: Don't forget to hold your noses, Nats fans, as you root, root, root for the Phillies along with Stan Kasten this World Series.

Joe Buck (or was it Tim McCarver?) on FOX pointed out late in the game (while Cliff Lee still had his shutout going) that the Yankees were shut out at home in their brand spanking new ballpark just once in 2009: that would be June 18th against your Washington Nationals. Cliff Lee was fantastic last night, but Yankee Killers Craig Stammen, Ron Villone, Julian Tavarez, and Mike MacDougal were even better on June 18th!

Meanwhile...Hey! The umps got one right!

Befriend The Nationals Enquirer on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Nats Fans Subject of Worst Reality TV Show Concept Ever?

2009-10-28T21:42:16-04:00

(Photo by Nationals Enquirer staff. In this photo, throngs of blue-shirt clad Nationals fans celebrate the selection of Stephen Strasburg in the MLB Draft back on June 9th at Nationals Park. Good luck finding those same die-hard Nationals fans for a TV show.)

Move over, Danny Bonaduce!

A production company is looking to cast "die-hard Nationals fans who have such an intense devotion to the lovable Nats that they have had trouble balancing their 'real life' responsibilities with their devotion for their team" for a Reality TV show which at first glance seems to have the potential to redefine the meaning of Worst Reality TV Show ever. Yes, this one could blow even worse than the the ill-fated "Mr. Personality", hosted by Monica Lewinsky on FOX way back in 2003.

Here's the Casting Call scoop from MASNSports dot com, which echos a similar email we received this morning in the Nationals Enquirer inbox:

Remember the scene in Fever Pitch where Jimmy Fallon nearly attacks his UPS guy for his season tickets? How about all the challenges he faces throughout the movie as he struggles to balance his baseball fandom with real life?

A local production company is looking to capture those types of moments in a new reality series about Nats fans. IMG Studios, a respected, established production company in Washington DC is looking for die-hard Nationals fans to appear in the series starting this offseason.

"The person or group of friends must find it hard to balance an active social life, romantic relationship, work or family with the "other person" (Nationals) in their life," said IMG Studios in their Casting Call.

The selected fans will be followed for a specific amount of time and should be comfortable with exposure.

To be considered, fans should send a biographical paragraph and photo to muvena@interfacemedia.com.

Look, with the exception of a few magical months in early 2005, times have been tough enough for Nationals fans ever since the Expos came to town...and isn't it bad enough that there's a forthcoming chick flick starring Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, and Paul Rudd where Wilson plays a Nationals relief pitcher? Now, you want Nationals fans to be the subject of perhaps the worst concept for a Reality TV show in history? No mas.

We have a better concept for a Reality TV show about the Nationals: rehire Jim Bowden, resign Julian Tavarez and Jose Guillen, then move them all into a Dupont Circle studio for the season with the Racing Presidents, a refrigerator full of beer, and a Segway, and watch the magic happen.

Befriend The Nationals Enquirer on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Exclusive Footage of Nationals Managerial Search

2009-10-28T06:24:18-04:00

That's right...the deafening sound of crickets. If only we could follow Jim Bowden's Tweets (he blocked us), then maybe we'd have a better idea about what the heck is going on.

Meanwhile...more news yesterday on Mike Rizzo's remodeling work in his front office: he hired Kasey McKeon as Director of Player Procurement and Jay Robertson as Special Assistant to the General Manager. Go read Phil Wood over at MASN Sports dot com if you feel the need to know more about McKeon and Robertson.

Befriend The Nationals Enquirer on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Strasburg Hopes To Resurrect Pro Career

2009-10-27T21:31:08-04:00

(AP Photo. No pressure, Stephen. No pressure.)

"If people want to judge the pitcher I'll be one year, five years, 10 years down the road based on a couple of outings here, that's out of my control. I'm just here trying to improve my game in every way possible. ...I just want to have a fun time, and learn as much as I can."
(Stephen Strasburg, via Nationals dot com, 10/27/2009)

Happy Days Are Here Again!

After an absolute nightmare in his second Arizona Fall League start, Stephen Strasburg took the first step toward salvaging his professional career with a reportedly sparkling effort against the Surprise Rafters in his third AFL start. Looks like there just might be time for Strasburg to resurrect his professional career. His line, etc.:

4.1 IP, 1 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5K, 67 pitches (42 strikes)

Mark Zuckerman from the Washington Times was there, providing a running commentary of Strasburg's start over on Chatter (apparently Zuckerman didn't get the memo that there's a football team in this town in desperate need of media coverage); his account of Strasburg's first inning deserves the Nationals Enquirer copy/paste treatment:

1st inning-- OK, this is my first time seeing Strasburg in person, and I've got to say, it's an impressive sight. He just went through a scoreless inning, issuing a two-out walk to Brandon Laird but otherwise dominating. He struck out the first two batters, Daryl Jones and Jeff Bianchi, throwing three 100 mph fastballs in the process. He made Bianchi look silly on an 0-2 breaking ball in the dirt. Cleanup hitter Ike Davis was the only one to make sollid contact, sending a sharp liner right at second baseman Josh Bell to end the inning. So no runs, no hits, one left on base. 18 pitches, 10 strikes, at least three that hit triple digits.

So there you have it. Not only did SS pitch well, he managed to hit triple digits on the radar gun at least three times in the first inning. Keep it up, Strassy, and you just might prove to be a useful spare part pitching out of a major league bullpen someday!

Befriend The Nationals Enquirer on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Zim, a.k.a. Peter Franchise, a.k.a. Mr. Walkoff, is now a.k.a. Mr. Web Gem

2009-10-27T06:18:21-04:00

(Photo of TV by Nationals Enquirer staff. Ryan Zimmerman admires his hardware on last night's Baseball Tonight Web Gem Awards on ESPN. Real hardware, forthcoming?)

Gold Glove is next, right?

Ryan Zimmerman and the Washington Nationals cleaned up on last night's Baseball Tonight Web Gem Awards show. Zim was the top Web Gem points leader at third base, and led the majors overall with 19 Web Gems, good for 61 points; while the Nationals, worst or near the bottom in almost every defensive category imaginable, managed to win the team award with 44 Web Gems and 141 points. Guess it pays to make the highlight reel.

Zim - in a spiffy suit - handled himself quite well on TV, joining Baseball Tonight's Karl Ravech and John Kruk to review the 2009 highlight reel and dole out the awards over the hour-long show; he even enlightened Ravech and Kruk on the legend of Tony Plush and TP's penchant for nicknames (Peter Franchise, Charlie Chirplin, Freddy Physical, etc.)

Don't ask us to recount how the points are actually allocated or calculated; we're simply trying to bask in the glow of the Nationals winning *something* (even if it really is nothing) other than the rights to the #1 pick in 2010. Tim Lemke of the Washington Times officially dubbed the Nats "The Web Gem Champs." We'll take it.

Befriend The Nationals Enquirer on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Method Acta

2009-10-26T21:14:28-04:00

(AP Photo by Tony Dejak. Manny Acta smiles at his introductory press conference today as he thinks about the fast one he just pulled on the Cleveland Indians. Three years guaranteed with a club option for 2013! He must give one hell of an interview!)

"A big shot is a little shot who keeps shooting. I'm ready to keep shooting."
(Manny Acta, via Cleveland Plain Dealer, 10/26/2009)

Pffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!

Ah yes, that's just Manny being Manny. Cleveland: get ready for more of that sort of quasi-inspirational garbage as the losses pile up.

The Indians introduced Manny Acta as manager today. And this is the last time Manny Acta's name gets mentioned here at The Nationals Enquirer until next June 11th-13th, we promise.

Meanwhile...yes, the Nationals manager search sounds strikingly similar to the sound of crickets chirping. Something must be about to happen...

Befriend The Nationals Enquirer on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

The Nationals Enquirer

Can you believe the Nats declined that $10 million option on Austin Kearns?

(AP Photo. The Austin Kearns Era is effectively over in D.C.)

Ted Lerner says: I'll take the $1 million buyout, thank you very much!

Oh *BLEEP*!! Noooo!!! Strasburg scratched? Career in jeopardy?

Money can't buy you love, but it can buy you a World Series Trophy

(Reuters Pictures: Dear Ted Lerner, Can you buy DC a World Series Championship, please? Sincerely, NatsTown)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

$201.4 Million in Payroll 7, Phillies 3: Cash is King!

No Donnie Baseball in DC?

(Photo by Reuters Pictures. According to the Washington Times, Don Mattingly, right, has decided not to interview for the Nats job. He's decided to wait around for Joe Torre to kick the bucket out in LA.)

Good news! No Acta Redux!

Stan Kasten says: Go Phillies!

(AP Photo. The Philadelphia Phillies are Stan Kasten's second favorite team in the NL East. But he'll always be a Brave at heart.)

Stan's Favorite Paying Customers 6, Big Market Team 1: Don't forget to hold your noses, Nats fans, as you root, root, root for the Phillies along with Stan Kasten this World Series.

Nats Fans Subject of Worst Reality TV Show Concept Ever?

(Photo by Nationals Enquirer staff. In this photo, throngs of blue-shirt clad Nationals fans celebrate the selection of Stephen Strasburg in the MLB Draft back on June 9th at Nationals Park. Good luck finding those same die-hard Nationals fans for a TV show.)

Move over, Danny Bonaduce!

Exclusive Footage of Nationals Managerial Search

Strasburg Hopes To Resurrect Pro Career

(AP Photo. No pressure, Stephen. No pressure.)

Happy Days Are Here Again!

Zim, a.k.a. Peter Franchise, a.k.a. Mr. Walkoff, is now a.k.a. Mr. Web Gem

(Photo of TV by Nationals Enquirer staff. Ryan Zimmerman admires his hardware on last night's Baseball Tonight Web Gem Awards on ESPN. Real hardware, forthcoming?)

Gold Glove is next, right?

Method Acta

(AP Photo by Tony Dejak. Manny Acta smiles at his introductory press conference today as he thinks about the fast one he just pulled on the Cleveland Indians. Three years guaranteed with a club option for 2013! He must give one hell of an interview!)

Pffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!

Oh BLEEP!! Noooo!!! Strasburg scratched? Career in jeopardy?