When I was younger, I just wanted to be like her.

I spent hours thinking about how she had it made...

She was beautiful.

She was rich.

She was talented.

She was loved.

And most of all, she was thin.

Effortlessly thin.

I knew that if I could just be her, I would have the perfect life.

I would be happy. Forever.

But here's what's amazing...

I am happy.

And it has nothing to do with beauty or money or talent or thinness.

It has to do with the hard work of finding out who I am and choosing to pay attention, take care, and love myself.  (Not as easy as it sounds.)

And now I have compassion for my younger self.

The girl who wanted nothing more than to be like someone else.

The me who wanted to be Whitney Houston.

I recently had a photo taken for The Weight School, my new adventure with Susan Hyatt.

When I got the photo, I loved it.  I thought it captured me.

Then, they touched it up, and I thought it was better.

They had removed and softened my wrinkles and brightened up my cheeks.

So it got me to thinking...

Is "touched up" better?

When I look at the two photos, I want to hang out with the me that has the wrinkles.

The me whose neck isn't perfect.

That's the me I really like. Love.

I could have never imagined before I started this work that I could be happy with myself before the "touch up".  I was always waiting for the improved version of myself.

The self that was thinner, prettier, richer, smarter, and therefore more  "loved".

I was always finding fault and seeking the touch up.

As if the "edited" version would be better.

And what I know now is that better is not more loved.

I love the real me.

And love is what's better.

 

When I got the photo, it looked like this

After the photographer touched it up, it looked like this:

When someone says no to me, I consider that the beginning of our negotiation.

I am not talking about a personal no, given as a boundary;  but I am talking about no's that come from a belief that something is impossible.

For example, if I ask if something can be printed in two days for half the price and they tell me no.

Then we begin.

And I have turned so many no's into yes's in my life.

So many impossibilities into possibilities.

So when my kids hear the word no and argue.

I'm proud.

My husband.  Is not.

He thinks kids should:

    Take no for an answer.

    Not argue.

    Obey out of respect.

    Not question us and our reasons.

I think they should question everything we say, and understand it, and work us with everything they've got.

I teach them that when they want something they shouldn't ask a yes or no question.

For example, if they want ice cream they should ask:

When would be a great time to get some ice cream today?

instead of

Can we get some ice cream?

But that's not how my husband was raised.

He respects authority.

I defy it.

And I hope my kids will too.

(Sorry, honey. I love you.)

I just want to take a moment to acknowledge all of the students who have gone through the school. If that's you, you know what I am talking about.  This school is hard.  It requires you to show up fully and without distraction.  

And student after student is doing it.  Doing the hard work of coaching themselves, being coached, taking risks coaching others.

I am in awe of you all!

If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

Thank goodness you aren't everybody!

I love you guys.

Check out our latest certified coach's video.  I love it!

Congratulations Laura Rosenberg!

http://youtu.be/Hu3rJDTN83s