Seeking Him

A Light in the Darkness

2011-12-20T07:07:00-05:00

This is the message I gave at our Hope in the Darkness service last Thursday evening. Blessings for a wonderful Christmas!!

I love Christmas. For me, Christmas season begins the minute we recover from our huge Thanksgiving meal and lasts through New Year’s day...sometimes even longer. I love Christmas music, I love Christmas decorations, I love Christmas lights and, much to the embarrassment of my teenage daughters, I love tacky Christmas sweaters. I even love the crowded mall and Christmas shopping. If you went into the parking lot right now, you would see that my brown car is adorned with a big red nose and antlers. And, of course, as a follower of Jesus Christ, most of all, I love the Christmas story and the mystery and beauty of the gift God gave us in the birth of Jesus in that manger so long ago.

As much as I love Christmas, there have been some Christmas seasons in my life that have been very difficult because of the circumstances in my life at that time. I know many of you are here this evening because you know exactly what I am talking about. Some of you may be experiencing grief over the loss of a loved one this year. Some of you may be battling some kind of health challenge or depression. For some of you, this year is particularly difficult because of the transitions that families go through as someone moves away, loses a job or ends a relationship. In 2008, our family had a very difficult Christmas. On the first Sunday of Advent, we received a call that my father had finally lost his battle with alcoholism and that he had unexpectedly died. The next week or so, as we drove back and forth to North Carolina to make arrangements and have a memorial service, were filled with so many conflicting emotions. Grief, loss, sadness were mixed with anger and regret. Here I was in the midst of this fresh loss right smack in the middle of the Christmas season and everything felt raw.

For me that year, I found comfort in the familiar words from Isaiah 9 that get read and sung so often during the Christmas season each year. As I thought about what I wanted to share at this service, I couldn’t think of anything that would be more appropriate than this scripture. That year, I clung to these words like never before:

2 The people walking in darkness

have seen a great light;

on those living in the land of deep darkness

a light has dawned.

6 For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of course, I had heard these verses before that year. However, that year, it did feel like “living in the land of deep darkness.” That year in particular, I decided that I needed a God who would indeed be MY Wonderful Counselor, MY Mighty God, MY Everlasting Father and MY Prince of Peace. This scripture has become a lifeline for me all year long and a way to re-focus my understanding of who God is....particularly when I am in those especially difficult seasons of my life. Let’s look a little more closely at these titles that Isaiah gave to the coming Messiah.

First, what does it mean for Jesus to be MY Wonderful Counselor? When I was reading this verse in the different translations, I noticed that some versions put a comma between the words wonderful and counselor. One of the translations used the word "amazing" instead of wonderful. I read somewhere that the word that is translated as "wonderful" in some parts of the bible, is translated as "beyond understanding" in other places.

Wonderful and counselor, together or separately, speak to me of wisdom so amazing, so unbelievable, so unexpected, so surprising that it is hard to explain as anything but Divine...something that can’t be found in the resources that the world has to offer. And while professional counselors can be an important part of our support system during difficult seasons in our life, this version of the word “counselor” means much more. One scholar I ran across explained the world “counselor’ in this context in this way:

This is a term that has connotations of deity. The term "counselor" is not what we think of today in terms of a therapist, or someone we tell our problems - although Jesus is that as well. It's more of a military strategist. It probably refers to a king who has the ability to come up with a winning military strategy. You could say "Extraordinary Strategist" (NET Bible).

Isaiah predicts a baby that will become an Extraordinary Strategist. Jesus is a Master Strategist, able to deliver his people from hopeless situations. He is a strategist who can handle situations that look hopeless to us.

In this sense, Jesus is a "strategist" that is greater than we can even comprehend or understand. He is a strategist...a counselor, that specializes in situations that we simply can't handle on our own...any one had one of those lately? Those times in my life when I didn't know where to turn, when I was confused or troubled or looking for answers, those are the times when I can experience Jesus as my wonderful counselor, if only I ask. As I seek His wisdom, the answer may come as that still small voice in my spirit, or in the wise words of a friend, or in the discovery of the perfect scripture for my situation, or maybe the strength to endure a situation where the answer is still unknown to me. With that wisdom...that answer...comes the incomprehensible realization that I am never alone. When Jesus finished His earthly ministry, He promised us the gift of the Holy Spirit...the Wonderful Counselor to whom we have access 24/7....if only we avail ourselves of that ministry.

What does it mean for Him to be MY Almighty God? There are just some situations in life where we need a really BIG God. When I think about this aspect of God’s character, I am reminded of the Veggie Tales videos that my kids used to watch when they were little. There was a song that always stuck in my head that said “God is bigger than the boogie man. He is bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on TV. God is bigger than the boogie man and He’s watching out for you and me.” There are times in our lives when our circumstances are just too big, too scary, too overwhelming to face. For me, it is the mightiness of God that is the antidote to fear. Numerous times in scripture we hear God say to us "do not fear." The reason He can say that to us is because He is in control and there is no power in the universe greater than His. God's power, strength and influence mean that we can rest in His embrace and turn our worry, fear and uncertainty over to Him. Even when we don't understand why something is happening, we can rest assured that He has it under control and that we are never alone in the midst of our struggles. We can retire every day as the General Manager of the Universe because He already has that job and He is much better at it than we are anyway. When life doesn’t make sense, I need a Mighty God who is bigger than even the most difficult circumstances I face.

Wonderful Counselor speaks to His divine wisdom, Mighty God reminds us of His unmatched power, and the next one, Everlasting Father is the perfect picture of His eternal, personal, intimate love for each of us.

Paul reminds us of how big God's love is in his letter to the Romans. In Chapter 8, he says the following:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nothing can separate us from the love of God...even death. God loves us because He created us to love us. I love the verse in 1 John that says "How great is the love that the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God!" This love is personal and intimate; like a parent and child. I remember when Brooke was little, there was a period of time when she was first learning to talk that I was the only one who could understand her. Because I knew her so well, I could anticipate her needs and understand her in ways that others couldn’t. Our Heavenly Father knows us and loves us even more than the best earthly parent. He created us and knows our every thought. He knows our hurts and knows how to comfort us. He loves us so much that He even knows the numbers of tears we have cried. In Revelation 21:4, John says these words about our Everlasting Father “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things will be gone forever." When life feels like more than I can handle, I cling to the promise of a Father who sees my tears and loves me so much that He will never leave me or forsake me...no matter what I am going through.

Finally, Isaiah promises us that this coming Messiah will be a Prince of Peace. It seems to me that during these times, peace might be the most elusive thing of all. When we are dealing with a season of loss or despair in our life, there are so many conflicting emotions...sadness, anger, regret, anxiety...maybe even relief or guilt in some circumstances. That year that my dad died, I struggled with every single one of those emotions. I was sad that he was gone. I was angry with him for continuing to drink when he knew that it would kill him. I was devastated that when he called on Thanksgiving Day, I had been too busy to talk to him and said I would call him back and now I would never get that chance. And, if I was completely honest, I was relieved that this battle we had waged for 30 years with his alcoholism was finally over and then I felt guilty for feeling that relief.

Grief, fear, sadness and despair are messy and complicated and inconvenient any time of the year. At Christmas, it just feels magnified by the contrast to the joy and celebration around us. That Christmas, I particularly needed to know this Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, and Everlasting Father on a personal level. And that Christmas, like no other before, I desperately needed a Prince of Peace. There is no earthly peace to be found in much of what life throws at us, yet Jesus promises us His peace, which is altogether different. Hear these words from our Lord from the Gospel of John; “Peace I leave with you; MY peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” He goes on to say “I have told you these things so that in me, you may have peace. In this world, you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

God knows that we will have trouble in this world, but the good news of Christmas is that we do not have to walk through those troubles alone. In the Gospel of Matthew, we hear one more name for our promised Messiah.

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).

Emmanuel. God With Us. This promised Messiah has come. Because God became man, He knows what it is like to hurt, to be sad, to be lonely, to be afraid. This GOD...this wonderful counselor, mighty God, everlasting Father, prince of peace...this God is also Emmanuel, God With Us. God with you and God with me. The Good News of Christmas is that He is right here with us, in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in this year. Praise be to God for His wonderful Gift!

Grace to Surrender

2011-11-30T10:40:27-05:00

I am sitting in my chair by the fireplace and laughing to myself about what I see. Within reach, I have a stack of Advent devotionals that I have recently retrieved from my bookcase and a HUGE stack of holiday catalogues. When we returned from our Thanksgiving travels, the stack of mail that awaited me contained almost 30 catalogues for my cyber shopping pleasure! Also within reach are my cell phone, the home phone, my computer, a notebook for making lists and, of course, my cup of coffee. As the tshirt I saw the other day said "I'm fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world." With the supplies I have surrounding me, the only thing I could possibly be missing is a cape and a nice tiara!

Advent...a word ripe with meaning for followers of Jesus and, if I'm honest, a potential source of stress for a busy mom/ volunteer. I absolutely love this time of year; in fact, I would say that Christmas is my favorite season of the year. However, each year I find myself struggling to find balance in the way I "do" Christmas. I long for times of quiet contemplation and study...times to read God's word and my Christmas devotionals and ponder once again the mystery and beauty of God incarnate. However, I also love the hustle and bustle of decorating and shopping and celebrating. This year, I am also mindful of the significance of this Christmas for our family as we consider how we will continue our Christmas traditions next year when Alex is living somewhere else for much of the season (not to mention all these unending college application deadlines so "conveniently" settled amidst the months of Dec./January!) And, did I mention that Alex's 18th birthday is December 11th? With all this going through my mind, is it any wonder that I found myself restless and distracted as I settled down for my morning quiet time with the Lord?

I consciously focused on breathing deeply and slowly as I opened the pages of my favorite Christmas devotional. Apparently, I am not the only one that often finds themselves "chasing" after Christmas. These words struck a chord with me:

As we are searching for God, the good news is that God is searching for us. Better yet, He has found us. The great question is not whether we have found God but whether we have found ourselves being found by God. God is not lost. We were, or as the case may be, we are....

Seekers and searchers of all times have looked toward the heavens in order to find God. Then the gift was given. Mary's searching was interrupted by an angel who promised that soon, very soon, in a matter of nine months, she would look not up but down, into the face of the baby in her arms, into the face of God. This is called incarnation, meaning that God is infleshed in our humanity...And so it is with all who, wearied by their searching, wake up to the gift already given; so it is with all who wake up to find themselves found by Emmanuel, God with us.

Give us the grace, we pray, to surrender to being found.

"The grace to surrender to being found"...that's it! Everything that Christmas is or was or will be is already true and present and given. I don't have to chase after Christmas. Emmanuel, God with us, is already with us. The gift is given and there is nothing I need to do except surrender. Surrender to His grace, rest in His love, accept His gift. He says "Be still and know that I am God." He says "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Perhaps Christmas is all about sitting still for long enough to once again be found.

Creativity

2011-10-06T16:27:16-04:00

Creativity- the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, imagination.

I've been thinking about creativity this week. With the passing yesterday of one of our generations' most creative minds, it has struck me that creativity is perhaps at the heart of what makes us fully alive. On a spiritual level, creativity is our very connection to our Creator- the life force that makes us most like our Heavenly Father in whose image we were created.

My eldest daughter and I had the privilege this past weekend to be in the cast of an original musical called Weaver. The story and the music of Weaver (except for 2 songs) were written entirely by my friends Don and Zoe. This particular story, the melodies, the lyrics were not present in our world prior to Don and Zoe deciding to bring it into existence. Something within them decided that, in a world full of songs and stories, something new was needed...something different...something beautiful. Something we didn't know we were missing until we experienced it. As actors, singers, artists and musicians, we then became part of the creative process by adding our own touch to the story...a collective work of creation that further touched the lives of both the participants and the members of the audience.

Multiply our experience by every song you hear, every play you watch, every book you read, every piece of artwork you enjoy. What causes someone to decide that the world isn't enough with just the status quo? Why do we build a more beautiful building, sing a different song, paint another painting? What inspires us to dig deep within ourselves and expose ourselves to criticism and judgement by offering up our creations to public scrutiny?

While I have been speaking specifically of more traditional forms of "art" such as theatre, music, and painting, I think the opportunity to look back over the life of Steve Jobs reminds us that creativity occurs anytime we allow ourselves to think outside the confines of that which already exists. Mr. Jobs, in his short life, created products that we didn't even know we needed and now we are sure we just can't live without. He didn't allow failure to stop him from imagining something new, something better, something different. I don't know whether he was a man of faith, but it seems to me that he lived his life with an understanding that being in touch with his creativity meant making a difference in the world. I love these words from his address to the Stanford students in 2005:

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

As a believer, following my "heart and intuition" is directly related to staying connected to the originator of that Creative spark within me. Knowing that God made each of us with the ability and the yearning to be creative forces within this world challenges me to pay attention to those opportunities that I am given to step outside of the status quo and do something different, even when it is scary. I read this quote from Julia Cameron last week while we were in our final days of rehearsal for Weaver and it really resonated with me:

‎"We are ourselves creations. We are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves. This is the God-force extending itself through us. Creativity is God's gift to us. Using creativity is our gift back to God."

As I said before, it makes sense to me that the creative spark within each one of us is the very thing that most exemplifies the "family resemblance" we have with the One in whose image we were created. As I sought to describe what I think that feels like for us, I recalled the words to one of my favorite songs from another musical Children of Eden.

I've got an itching on the tips of my fingers
I've got a boiling in the back of my brain
I've got a hunger burning inside me, can not be denied
I've got feeling that the Father who made us
When he was kindling a pulse in my veins
He left a tiny spark of that fire, smoldering inside

The spark of creation, is flickering within me
The spark of creation,is blazing in my blood
A bit of the fire that lit up the stars
And breathed life into the mud, the first inspiration
The spark of creation

I see a mountain and I want to climb it
I see a river and I want to leave shore
Where there was nothing let there be something, something made by me
There's things waiting for me to invent them
There's worlds waiting for me to explore
I am an echo of the eternal cry of
Let there be!

The spark of creation, is burning bright within me
The spark of creation, won't let me rest at all
Until I discover or build or uncover
A thing that I can call, my celebration
Of the spark of creation

The spark of creation, may it burn forever
The spark creation, I am a keeper of the flame
We think all we want is a lifetime of leisure
Each perfect day the same
Endless vacation
Well that's alright if you're a kind crustacean
But when you're born with an imagination
Sooner or later you're feeling the fire get higher and higher
The spark of creation!!!

Having the opportunity to participate in the colloborative creative process of Weaver this past weekend was truly a privilege. Performing with my daughter, who is passionate about the art of theatre, was a tremendous blessing. She is in several shows a year and it gave me an even greater sense of admiration for her work ethic, her talent and the courage she displays every time she puts herself out there in the hopes of creating something meaningful. Zoe and Don are my heroes for believing in their own spark of creation and trusting the process even when the end result was unclear. I am inspired by all the artists with whom I worked these past few weeks.

"I am an echo of the eternal cry of Let There Be!"

Why Do You Call Me, Lord, Lord?

2011-07-01T13:57:27-04:00

I have a quote that I want to share. Ponder this for a moment:

It is surrender to the known will of God that paves the way for the discovery of the unknown will of God.

I heard those words the other night in a video lesson by Andy Stanley in a series called "Discovering the Will of God" and I have found myself continuing to think about them ever since.

What would it look like to "surrender" to the known will of God? What do I already KNOW about the will of God? In answering these questions, I find myself always going back to Jesus' answer to the teacher of the law who wanted Jesus to name the greatest commandment. Three times in scripture we find that His answer to this query was "to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself." In 1 John 3 & 4, John tells us that we are liars if we say we love God, but don't love our brother...and not just love with words, but love "in action and in truth." In John's gospel, particularly in chapters 15 and 16, we learn that Jesus said we would show our love for Him and we would remain in Him if we obeyed His commands. He went on to say that His command to us was to "love one another." Jesus also talks a lot about how we treat the "least of these" in our midst (Matthew 25,) so I'm pretty sure that loving and caring for the poor is also part of the equation. In short, it seems fairly clear that one thing about which Jesus felt strongly was this issue of love...love in action, sacrificial love.

So, going back to my previous question, what would it look like to surrender to the known will of God? In all honesty, I find it much more interesting at times to wonder about the parts of God's will that are still unknown to me than to consider how obedient I am being to the parts of God's will about which I am already clear. Wondering about God's will for my life and lamenting the lack of clarity I am experiencing gives me permission to sit quietly in committee in the safety of my easy chair. "I just don't know what God wants me to do next" or "I'm still praying about that" delays my obligation to DO anything of any consequence.

Don't get me wrong, there are times in life when I need to wait upon the Lord or pray for clarity on a particular issue. However, the quote with which I began this post suggests to me a greater truth. I am going to have difficulty hearing God's voice and discerning His will on a particular issue if I am not actively pursuing those aspects of His plan for my life about which I am already perfectly clear. I KNOW already that God wants me to love Him, love my neighbor, love my family and love the poor with a sacrificial, all-encompassing, action-oriented love that is different than the way that the world teaches love. Even if I never understand another thing about His will for my life, then pursuing this one thing...understanding this one pursuit...growing in this one area could potentially define my life and keep me plenty busy until He calls me Home. Any other details that He might decide to let me in on would just be a bonus!

In Luke 6, Jesus asks the question "Why do you call me Lord, Lord and not do what I say?" He goes on to say that it is only when we hear the Word AND do what it says that we build a foundation that will withstand any storm. I know what my life looks like when I am attempting to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and strength...I also know what it looks like when I am only giving that my half-hearted attention. For me, peace only comes when I am in surrender mode because that's how God wired me. I know I need that reminder every once in a while.

His Mercies Are New Every Morning

2011-06-17T16:39:29-04:00

I love a clear morning after a night of steady rain. The world looks like it has been washed clean. I particularly enjoy seeing my flowers as the sun comes out and they stretch out, energized by their soaking nourishment. As much as I water my plants, they always seem stronger when God does the watering. When I stand there with my hose, I get bored or distracted and probably move on to the next container or flower bed before they have had their fill. A long, deep drink of water takes time and I am an often impatient gardener.

I saw a link this week on Facebook that caught my eye. A friend referred us to a blog entry entitled "The Disease Called Perfection" and I was moved by what I read. I'll let you read it for yourself but, suffice it to say, I could definitely relate. The comments generated by the author's challenge to be "real" numbered well over 4,000 the last time I looked. I read a few pages of them and they broke my heart with their desperation and hopelessness. Person after person in bondage to their inability to overcome the parts of themselves that they hated and too ashamed to reach out for support. Many expressed gratitude for the opportunity to be "real" and to discover that they weren't alone in their struggles to be a better version of themselves. The fact that almost 5,000 people commented and well over 100,000 people have recommended the post to others speaks volumes about the universality of this issue. We live in a broken, hurting world and we are unable to fix that brokenness or fix ourselves.

As I have continued to think about what I read and the ways in which I can personally relate, it became increasingly clear to me that it is for this reason that Jesus came. This shame, this brokenness, this helplessness to change ourselves and the isolation we feel as we pretend to have it all together...this is the very human condition that makes the Good News such very good news.

On my own, I struggle to change enough of my bad habits and stupid choices to "clean up nice" for company. If I can look like I have it all together...that my house is perfect, my marriage is perfect, my children are perfect, my church life is perfect...then perhaps noone will suspect the areas where I struggle to keep my head above water or the issues which threaten to rob me of peace.

In Christ, by contrast, I can choose to remember what scripture says about Who God is and who I am in Him. In Christ, I can hold firm to the promise that the good work begun in me WILL be carried on to completion...not by my own power, but by the power of the Holy Spirit within me. In Christ, I am reminded that God sees me as holy and forgiven. I am His precious child and He delights in me, sings over me and rejoices over me. He will continue to work in me to transform me into the image of Christ and I can do all things through Him who gives me the strength. Whatever my struggles, He will never leave me or forsake me. There is no condemnation in Christ. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free and we no longer have to be slaves to that which has formerly kept us in bonds of shame and despair. Whatever it is, whatever the struggle, we are more than conquerors through Him who LOVES us!

Some days I forget all that. Some days, I can get bogged down in the frustration of my humanity, my "so not perfectness." Some days I put on a happy face and pretend. Yet, more and more often, as I remember His promises to me, I choose to believe Him instead of the world. His mercies are new every morning, but I must drink deeply to reap the benefits. I have to return to the well of His Word often and linger there a while. In God's time, His will for me unfolds and I see the fruit of His tender care. I am so grateful that someone shared that good news with me. In case you hadn't heard, this good news is for you as well.  His Kingdom come, His will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.

Rookie

2011-06-15T18:06:19-04:00

The retreat in Minnesota where I spoke the first weekend in April was at the church of our former associate pastor, Neil. He and his wife Jenny have been faithful encouragers in my life for a number of years. Neil first encouraged me to blog and Jenny started telling me that I could do something like this shortly after I met her. In fact, I would never have had the guts to go through with this first retreat if they hadn't suggested it and encouraged me. I told someone that God was calling me to step out in faith and Jenny and Neil pushed me out of the nest! If you listen to my message and hate it, it is all their fault. If you like it, then I worked very hard on it and take all the credit. :-)

Actually, in reality, I don't take any credit for it. In truth, it is all God's fault. The most amazing part of the whole experience was the leap of faith it required to figure out what the heck I was going to say. My audience was completely unknown to me, except for Jenny, and I struggled initially to figure out what the "right" message might be for a group of women about whom I knew little. When I was in the early days of planning the topic I might cover, I saw a comment Neil made on our mutual friend Jeff's Facebook page. Jeff is in seminary and was preparing to give his first sermon that week. Among a few other words of wisdom, Neil told Jeff to just be himself and he would be fine. That really resonated with me. It seemed that God meant for ME to be there on that day with those people for a reason, so it made sense that sharing ME was part of His plan for our time together.

Still...Why was I even doing this? What could I possibly have to share that would be of use to someone else? Why would I want to make myself vulnerable like this in front of strangers? What if they thought I was a fool? Some of the same questions I asked when I began blogging back in 2005. Yet, like when I started the blog, my gratitude for the freedom and joy that I have found in God and His Word motivated me to step outside of the safety of anonymity and put myself "out there." My story, in the context of God's Bigger story, was my gift to give. Frankly, it was terrifying. It was also exhilarating and one of the greatest privileges of my life. In spite of my fumbling around, my tendency to go on too long, talk too fast, and repeat myself, God was able to use my offering and do something with it. Over the course of the weekend, I had the opportunity to hear how something I shared resonated personally with someone and they heard God's voice speaking to them.

It is almost painful for me to listen to the recordings because I hear all the mistakes and see all the things I want to do differently next time. I have listened once to each talk and I'm not sure I will again. Yet, even for me, there were moments when I was able to set aside my critic and hear the truths about who God is that I was sharing that day and I am again grateful that I have experienced this Love and had the privilege of sharing it with someone else. It is hard to be new at something at 46 years old, but it is also an adventure. I'm kind of excited to see what's next!

Here are the two Saturday sessions, if you have time to listen. They are each around 40 minutes long.

02 Spring Renewal 1st Pres White Bear Lake -Saturday morning 4_2_11

03 Spring Renewal 1st Pres White Bear Lake - Saturday afternoon 4_2_11

What's Next?

2011-06-14T19:37:39-04:00

For some reason lately, I have been thinking about blogging again. It is unbelievable to me that I haven't posted anything since October of 2010 after several years of regular blogging. Perhaps the blogging season of my life is winding down, although I'm not ready to write that final post quite yet.

My journey as a blogger began with a desire to put my thoughts about my faith journey into written form...an opportunity to process "out loud" about the ways that I saw God working in my life and in the lives of those around me...a chance to share what God was teaching me in a way that He might even use as an encouragement to others. Serendipitously, one thing led to another and I found myself in unexpected places sharing the power, peace and purpose I have discovered within God's Word and the freedom I believe is possible through a growing relationship with a living Lord. Most recently, I found myself in White Bear Lake, Minnesota speaking to a group of women whom I had never met before. We celebrated the arrival of April and warmer weather by sharing together a weekend "Spring Renewal" and I left with 50 new friends.

As my oldest daughter finishes her junior year in the next couple of days and my "baby" completes her freshman year, I become increasingly curious about what God has planned for me in the next season of my life. So much of my time and energy over the past 15 years has been focused on my daughters and their activities and I have enjoyed every second of it. Although I have never doubted that being home with my girls was the right decision for our family, I do look forward with anticipation to see what might be next for me in terms of vocation. Will I return to my work as a clinical social worker in private practice? Will I pursue my love of writing further? Will this recent adventure in Minnesota blossom into an expanding speaking ministry? Might I go to work advocating/ fundraising for one of the causes about which I feel strongly?

It is still several years until baby girl graduates and I am grateful for a few more years of being a full time mom. Yet, I am also aware that I need to be listening...listening to the places where "my deep gladness meets the world's deep hunger." While I know I will be sad when my babies have all left the nest, I want to make sure that the space they leave behind does not leave me empty. While I cherish each moment of the next couple of years, I am also beginning to explore the next steps that God might use to unfold His plans for me. My recent weekend is Minnesota was part of that process.

I have recently been able to download the recordings of my talks in Minnesota and I am going to attempt to share them here over the next few days since it appears that Typepad now has the ability to insert audio right into my post. There were 3 sessions and the one below is Friday evening's opening session. Each of the talks is around 40 minutes in length. I pray that God will use these words to reveal something to you about His deep and abiding love!

01 Spring Renewal White Bear Lake- Friday night 4_1_11

God is REAL

2010-10-06T09:29:06-04:00

Psalm 18:1-3

¹ I love you, O LORD, my strength.

² The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

       my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
       He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

³ I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
       and I am saved from my enemies.

We began our bible study time at the Lamb Center yesterday discussing adoration- the practice of expressing our love to the Lord. As we read the verses above, we talked about the intimacy of the way David repeated the term MY over and over. He clearly had experienced the Presence of God personally. For David, this God was REAL and this God was HIS God.

In attendance yesterday was a young woman new to the Lamb Center. She was there with her 3 small children; all under the age of 4. As we spoke, she expertly and lovingly cared for her babies; rocking one to sleep, offering play-doh to keep another busy, finding a snack for another. As we spoke about David's personal God, she listened carefully and then asked this question: Is there a time that WE had experienced God in such a way that we knew He was real? That He was really there?

This question opened up a time of sharing that I will treasure forever. It wasn't a large group around the table, but each of us shared a time when God reached down into our lives and made Himself known in a personal, intimate way. Most everyone shared, some in more detail than others. Truly, as is often the case at the Lamb Center, it wasn't always clear who was a guest, a volunteer or staff as we passed around the tissue box and wiped away our tears of gratitude for the gracious God we had each met. Those worldly barriers meant very little as we shared the experience of God's unexpected, intimate, gentle, comforting, encouraging Hand in our lives.

There was one story with which our young mother seemed to be particularly interested. M shared that she had been living, in her words, in a "very dark place." She had gotten herself into a particularly difficult financial circumstance and was in danger of losing the one thing that meant the most to her...the one thing that kept her connected to her daughter who she cherished. In this desperate circumstance, she ran across a stranger who she asked for money. He, like Peter at the gate called Beautiful (Acts 3,) told her "Gold and silver I do not have, but what I have I give you." He laid out his bible on the hood of his car, took her hands in his and led her in a prayer of surrender to a Jesus who she had told him she was not "really into." He told her that it was ok to go to Jesus with all her reservations, all her doubts, all her skepticism. From that moment on, her life has been transformed. Like the beggar at the temple gate, she has experienced healing beyond that which she had originally asked. She begged for money, and received new life. As she told the young mother the many concrete, personal ways that God had redeemed her life, tears ran down her face and she said "God is real! This is all real! It is all true! He is SO good!"

As I told her after the bible study, M was now getting to experience one of the great joys of Kingdom living. By sharing what God had done in her life, she was able to bless another person....an opportunity to give back a portion of what she had been given. God blesses us, so that we can be a blessing. I experience God's love more deeply, as I share that love with another. I understand the depth of my love for Him as I see Him at work in the lives of His people. While I SOMETIMES feel His presence and His power in my moments alone with Him, I almost ALWAYS feel His presence and power in real moments of community like what we often experience around the table at the Lamb Center.   We are not meant to walk this journey alone; God wired us to live in community and to encourage one another as we try to serve Him.

God is real! It is all true! He is SO good!

My Journey as a Runner

2010-09-30T14:43:17-04:00

I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a, a book lover, a follower of Jesus, and recently, a very infrequent blogger. While none of these labels describe all of me, each word gives you a bit more information about who I am. When I blogged about labels last fall, I never in a million years thought I would ever add the word "runner" to my list.

As a kid, I dreaded P.E. class. Don't EVEN get me started on dodge ball or red rover! I have always much preferred curling up with a good book to exercising or playing sports. As I have gotten older and my jeans have gotten tighter, I have begun to appreciate the wisdom of regular workouts and the physical and emotional benefits of making exercise a part of my life. Because my husband has always been an athlete (the kind of boy I hated during dodge ball games!) we invested in a workout room with all the equipment a number of years ago and that has been my primary exercise outlet. For me, part of the appeal of the workout room is the television. If I must exercise, at least I can distract myself watching E True Hollywood Story!

One beautiful day this past May, as I headed down into the basement, I found myself wishing that my exercise routine could be done outside instead. The flowers were blooming, the trees were budding and the temperature was a perfect 75 degrees. The obvious choice would be to go for a run, but I knew that running was not for me. My sister is a runner. My brother is a runner. Kelly is NOT a runner. I am the non-running sibling. I had tried before to run and I couldn't do it. In college, my boyfriend (now husband) and my roommate talked me into going running ONE time. I lasted about 5 minutes, at which point I turned around and headed back to the dorm to take a nap. I am and always have been a very good napper. I hated running. I was bad at running. I wasn't built to run and I had made my mind up about it.

However, in May, the idea of exercising outside persisted. I went online to look up walking programs, thinking that perhaps a fast walk on a pretty day would be a nice addition to my exercise repertoire. Long story short, I ran across an app for my Iphone called Couch to 5K that promised a very gradual progression from walker to runner. When I started in mid May, I would walk for 2 minutes, then run for 90 seconds, repeating this process for 20-30 minutes...all prompted by an encouraging voice on my headphones. After a few weeks, I was walking 3 minutes, running 5 minutes...gradually increasing the amount of time running. Throughout what turned out to be the hottest summer on record, I did this 3 times a week every week except one...I was too intimidated to run with all the cross country kids when we were in Philly on the mission trip!

Just recently, I started running the whole way. I still do a 30 minute workout and I am now going about 2.75 miles in that time...not exactly a blistering pace, but I'm not in a hurry. Just this week, it occurred to me that I now consider myself a runner! My husband pulled up next to me in his car one day when I was out running and said that I actually looked like a "real" runner, whatever that is....having known me for 30 years, he said this with a bit of disbelief in his voice!

So, why am I sharing this here? This isn't a running blog, but more often a place where I talk about my faith journey. As I thought about this progression from walker to runner, it occurred to me that I am learning some very important lessons in this process that are likely applicable to other areas of my life.

First, I wonder how often we limit ourselves by stating absolutes about who we are or are not. One of my girls said something the other day about the way she learns. Her statement was said in such a way that it was clear she had made up her mind that this was an immutable fact...this was just the way it was and she had to deal with it. As we talked, I encouraged her to not to limit herself at this young age and told her that the way I learned best had evolved at each stage of my education and was continuing to change as I grow older. Growing and changing is part of growing up. "I'm bad at math," "I'm unorganized," or "I'm not a runner" are all examples of self-limiting and self-defeating statements. I "choose" not to run is different than saying I "can't" run. While a healthy and realistic understanding of our strengths and weaknesses can be useful in making choices about how we spend our time, I wonder how often we shut down God's plans to stretch us by immediately dismissing those things we have decided aren't our particular talents.

Secondly, let's be clear, I am not a runner in the same way my sister is a runner or my friend Neil is a runner. For me, running 3 miles without stopping to walk is a huge accomplishment. For them, that is a warm-up. But that's ok! Letting go of the need to compare ourselves with the way another person does something is the beginning of freedom. I am not ready to go running with anyone right now, I am not ready to enter a race right now, I am not planning on ever running a marathon right now...but I might change my mind someday. Letting go of a particular image of who or what defines the word "runner" allows me to explore the new and perhaps, different ways that I might also choose to describe myself with that word. The same freedom applies to labels like "mother," "teacher," "singer," "writer," "artist," or even "Christian." Isn't it glorious that God made us all so different? It is sad how often I limit His creativity by trying to be like someone else instead of celebrating my unique expression of my God-given abilities.

Third, I did not become a runner overnight. For me, the path was slow. Perhaps others started running by just going out and running. For me, that didn't work. For me, the process of alternating walking and running is working, but it might not work for someone else. For me, breaking my "run" down into baby steps worked at the beginning, but it might be too boring for someone else. When I began the Couch to 5K program, it warned participants not to rush through the suggested incremental stages and it also advised you to repeat weeks, if you felt you needed to do so. I took their advice because it sounded like they knew what they were talking about and because there were stories of others who had been successful using this approach. I allowed myself to go slowly, I allowed myself to have bad days when I went backwards in terms of my progress and I allowed myself to be a learner. In my journey with the Lord, I would be wise to remember the value of slow and steady progress, the importance of spiritual mentors, and the humility of always remaining teachable.

Lastly, for reasons I'm not sure I understand, I made up my mind to stick with this and so far, I haven't quit. Somedays...initially, most days...I hated it. On hot days, and there were many, I really hated it. At first, my body hurt after every run. And then, it began to hurt less. It is only recently that I have begun to actually enjoy running and I am experiencing the benefits that drew me to try this path. Now that it is cooler outside and I can run farther, I come back from my runs exhilarated and I look forward to the next run. I may never run farther than 3 miles, but for now, I am having fun and it makes me feel strong and alive. I am proud of myself for trying something new and doing something I thought I couldn't do. As I move closer and closer to my 50th birthday and to the time when my little birdies will leave my nest, I know there are going to be many more opportunities to re-define myself and try new things. That gets me excited to see what God has planned for me next!

Lessons from this journey: be willing to learn, be myself, slow and steady, be committed.

Hebrews 12:1-2 (New Living Translation) ¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. ² We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

Prayer and Relationship: Lessons from Philly, Part 2

2010-07-08T22:47:50-04:00

Our mission experience last week in Philadelphia was hosted by Adventures in Mission (AIM.) Marcus, Kathy, Maddie, Melissa, Doug and Sara were wonderful guides, teachers, cheerleaders and partners as we sought to serve the community and grow closer to the Lord while we were in Philadelphia.
At some point early in the week, Marcus said something during one of his talks with us that really resonated with me and continues to do so. In fact, I would venture to say that this one sentence encompasses the power of what we experienced in Philadelphia last week. Here is what he said:
"Prayer and relationship are the currency of Heaven."
I invite you to ponder that sentence for a moment. Prayer and relationship are the currency of the Kingdom of Heaven. Prayer and relationship, relationship and prayer. Prayer and relationship are the currency...the medium of exchange...that draws us into the Kingdom. The Kingdom comes into focus as we invest in prayer and relationship. Our experience of and participation in the Kingdom is intimately connected to our experience of and participation in prayer and relationship. While I don't think this is new information to me, something about the simplicity of the sentence struck a chord with me.
One of the parts of this mission trip that I particularly enjoyed was the emphasis on prayer; not just talking to God, but truly creating the space to really LISTEN to God. Every morning, before we did any activity that could be called "ministry," we were asked to spend a significant amount of time in prayer. We prayed individually and we prayed collectively. We invited God to speak to us about particular scriptures and we invited God to speak to us about where we should serve that day. Although I would consider myself a person of prayer, I realized through our experience in Philadelphia how hurried and limited my prayers often are at home. If I'm honest, back in Virginia, I often make my to-do list and schedule my "ministry" activities and then ask God to be with me as I run, run, run. Here's my plan, Lord, please bless it! By contrast, in Philadelphia, we were invited to enter into an ongoing conversation with God each day and ask Him to show us where to go, step-by-step, opening our eyes along the way to see Him powerfully at work. In Philadelphia, we asked God to surprise us and allow us to do things we could only do through His power. As I consider the lessons from our time in Philly, I am beginning to think maybe my "Virginia" prayers are much too safe!
The other facet of this "currency" that draws us closer to experiencing the Kingdom here on earth is relationship; our relationship with God and our relationship with others. Through seeking the heart of God and taking time to really connect to the people He places in our path, we experience life as we were designed to live it. A return to the Garden, if you will. While we were in Philadelphia, and even before our departure thanks to the sermon we heard the morning we left, we asked God to give us "people eyes"...eyes that REALLY saw the child of God that was standing, sitting, playing, walking in front of us. As we prayed together and worked together, we experienced a deepening of our relationships with one another and a strengthening of the bonds that brought us to this place as a team. Without the distractions of our busy Northern Virginia lives (including cell phones and computers,) we all had the opportunity to share at a deeper level and be better listeners with one another. As we grew closer to one another and to God, we were filled with His love and the confidence to risk a little more in our relationships with the strangers we met...the strangers who became our friends. The children at day camp, the lady in the neighborhood, the homeless man at the coffeehouse on Kensington Ave....all part of this greater Kingdom that expands and grows as we open our heart to a bigger, deeper, better Love and offer ourselves to be used as agents of God's healing. Connected to one another, strengthened by our bonds in Him, we are stronger and better equipped to go out be the hands and feet of Jesus.
I say this every time I get back from one of these mission trips with our youth, but I am just blown away by these kids. I signed up for my first mission trip as an adult in 2007 because both my kids were going and I thought it would be wonderful for us to share the experience. Since then, I go each year because I am completely inspired and awed and humbled by seeing our students in action. It is a privilege to partner with them in this Kingdom work; our future is in good hands if these kids are a reflection of the next generation. As one of my favorite songs from the musical Wicked says "because I knew you, I have been changed for good."
Prayer and relationship are the currency of the Kingdom of Heaven. Thanks, Marcus!

Splanchnizomai and Brokenness: Lessons from Philly, Part 1

2010-07-06T11:30:28-04:00

My eldest and I just returned this weekend from a mission trip to the inner city of Philadelphia. This was our senior high mission trip and we traveled with a total of 55 kids and adults from suburban Virginia. As I have found with the previous mission trips in which I have participated, this was a profound, life-changing week where I learned more about God's heart...His heart for me, His heart for the students with whom I served and His heart for this broken world in which we live. I have spent the days since our return trying to form words to describe our experience.
During our time in Philadelphia, we were given a devotional to use for our times of private reflection, devotion and prayer. Through this devotional, I learned a new word which I can not even remotely pronounce "splanchnizomai." Splanchnizomai is a Greek word that takes its origin from another Greek wording referencing "the bowels or intestines." This word refers to that sense of feeling something deep in our gut. We can all relate perhaps to feeling things in the pit of our stomach? In Jesus time, they would have referred to the bowels...or the "gut"...as the center of our emotions, in the same way that we refer to the heart today. Our devotional guide told us that "splanchnizomai" was only used 12 times when the New Testament was originally written in Greek. Each time, this word is used in reference to Jesus or God and is most often translated "moved with compassion." This word tells us the story of our Lord, deep in His gut, being moved by the needs of others and, in every case, being moved to action by that emotion. Our God, our brother Jesus, is a God of deep, heart-felt, gut-wrenching compassion.
Our trip last week was, in many ways, all about allowing God to develop this kind of compassion in each of us. We prayed for God to break our hearts for the things that break His. Because we made ourselves available to see the world through God's eyes, all of us walked away changed to some degree. Some of my favorite moments of our trip occurred during our debrief each evening when the kids were given the opportunity to share what God was doing in and through them that day. It was powerful. While those are not my stories to share, I can tell you about my own experience.
On Wednesday of last week, we began our day with the opportunity to pray individually and as a group about how to spend our morning. On Monday and Tuesday, each group was given specific assignments about how to spend our morning (we all served in one of two VBS sites in the afternoons.) On Wednesday, we were given a couple of choices and asked to spend some time praying about where God might be leading us to go. I quickly joined the group that felt led to go to Kensington Avenue to pick up trash and be available to minister to the people that God might put in our path while we were there. We loaded up two vans full of teenagers and, along the way, stopped to purchase bags full of Slim Jims, cheese sticks, breakfast bars and water bottles to share with those we met who might be in need of food. We arrived on Kensington Ave., parked our vans and took to the streets armed with trash bags, gloves and bags of goodies.
If you are unfamiliar with Kensington Avenue, as I was, these were streets that I would not have traversed without several large teenage boys as my companions. These are not streets that anyone cares about or loves...these streets were overflowing with the refuse of people who have lost hope. The trash alone was overwhelming. As we walked along and filled bag after bag with trash, I tried to make eye contact with every person we passed and offer a greeting. A few people were curious about what we were doing and we stopped to talk to them. A gentleman in his 80s named Bob shared his experience of a lifetime of watching the decline of this neighborhood, his despair as he watched so many young lives stolen by drugs and crime, his determination to teach his own children a different way. He joined hands in prayer with our little group of 5 and offered a blessing for us...his new friends and brothers and sisters in the Lord. We also talked to and prayed with Lloyd and Michael who both shared that they were headed back to rehab and were believing that this time, the Lord would set them free from the addictions that had enslaved them for so long.
While I was blessed by the opportunities to encourage these folks we met along the way, the majority of the people we passed seemed oblivious to their surroundings...like they had given up entirely. Either anesthetized by chemicals or depression, noone was home inside. As I tried to make eye contact, time after time I was met with dead eyes. Eyes so full of hopelessness that they no longer saw the human beings around them. Eyes so tired, so weary...the images from scripture about "crushed bones" came to mind. Bone crushing weariness, bone-crushing despair. The light was gone from so many eyes and the sense of brokenness was palpable...and there was NOTHING I could do to make a difference. During our drive back to our lodgings for lunch, my van was almost entirely silent. As tears streamed down my face and the face of the young woman who sat in the front seat with me, these words were on the radio reminding me that the Kingdom is coming:
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait ,Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
Over lunch, I had occasion to share my broken heart with some of the other adult leaders and we found that we were all in a similar state of mind. We talked about brokenness and remembered that God does not ask us to surrender our hearts to be broken and then allow us to stay broken. Our God is a God of healing, redemption and renewal. Our God is a God of hope and new life. Our God is a God of mercy and restoration. Like a broken bone that is re-set and heals stronger than before, our broken hearts surrendered to God are transformed. Ezekiel 36:26 (New Living) "And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart." As we moved into the afternoon's activities, I waited in expectation to see what God would do next.
That evening, we had the opportunity to go back to Kensington Avenue to attend a coffeehouse. Stuck on a vacant lot in between two buildings, we found a gravelled oasis where several times a week the local residents are invited in for music, coffee, lemonade and good news. The local ministry who runs this coffeehouse is a consistent presence there in that neighborhood. The two gentlemen who we met from their ministry had been rescued from those very streets and found renewal and healing through the power of God working through similar ministries. Both have families now and were a testament to the fact that God had not given up on the people of Kensington Ave. As the evening unfolded, I had the privilege of spending almost 2 hours talking and sharing and praying with Maurice, Kenny and Greg. Their stories are not mine to share, but suffice it to say that God is working powerfully in the lives of these folks. As I looked around to the other picnic tables at our students, including my eldest, listening, sharing and ministering to these our brothers and sisters from the streets of Philly, my heart found healing. God IS at work through His people as we allow ourselves to be used as His hands and feet. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself = the kingdom of God brought down to earth. A little glimpse of heaven. In allowing me to see and experience the coffeehouse that night, the Lord reminded me that engaging in the process of compassion matters. Caring about this broken world, although sometimes painful, allows us to see people through God's eyes and offer hope....whether in the ghetto of Philly or in the relative comfort of Northern Virginia. Sometimes all we can offer is to look someone in the eye and listen to their story. Like the loaves and fishes, God can multiply our humble efforts into healing and restoration and new life. What a privilege!!
More tomorrow!

God Speaks

2010-06-22T10:00:10-04:00

I read the excerpt below in one of my favorite devotional books this morning.  In the busyness of the end of school activities and preparations for our mission trip next week, it was just the reminder I needed today. God is speaking all the time; it is His nature to do so. I am in the right place...I am connecting with that which is in MY nature...when I remember to listen for His voice.
"I speak to you continually. My nature is to communicate, though not always in words. I fling glorious sunsets across the sky, day after day after day. I speak in the faces and voices of loved ones. I caress you with a gentle breeze that refreshes and delights you. I speak softly in the depths of your spirit, where I have taken up residence.
You can find Me in each moment, when you have eyes that see and ears that hear. Ask My Spirit to sharpen your spiritual eyesight and hearing. I rejoice each time you discover My Presence. Practice looking and listening for Me during quiet intervals. Gradually you will find Me in more and more of your moments. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me above all else."
My prayer for all of us today. Amen!

Stephen Ministry

2010-06-09T11:26:31-04:00

In 2004, we began Stephen Ministry at our church. We have trained 3 classes of Stephen Ministers and we are hoping to offer our 4th training class this fall. In order to get the word out about what a blessing it is to be a Stephen Minister, we are having an interest meeting this Sunday at 11:15 at our church. Someone recently sent this link to me and I had the opportunity to watch it today. What a wonderful tool to let people know about this incredible ministry! Enjoy!

The Hands and Feet of Jesus

2010-06-08T10:19:42-04:00

"Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now." ~Saint Teresa of Avila
I posted the quote above as my Facebook status one day last week and was interested to see how many people responded positively to it. Since then, I have been thinking about what it means to be Christ's hands and feet on earth. Clearly, this idea resonates with people, but how do we go about doing it?
It seems to me that we might begin to "be" Christ's hands and feet by considering how Jesus used his hands and feet while He was walking among us. Jesus, God Incarnate, lived on earth in human form and, before He returned to the Father, promised that we who had faith in Him would do "greater things than these." (John 14:12) Through the writers of scripture, we have a record of the way Jesus lived out His earthly existence and these stories offer us clues on how we might continue His work.
First, Jesus knew that He had to spend time with the Father in order to know where to go and what to do next. Throughout the gospels, we hear that Jesus often "withdrew to a solitary place" in order to hear from His Heavenly Father. Jesus says this in John 5:19 (the Message):
I'm telling you this straight. The Son can't independently do a thing, only what He sees the Father doing. What the Father does, the Son does. The Father loves the Son and includes Him in everything He is doing.
If Jesus needed down time with His Father, how much more must that apply to us? I have found that even my most well-intentioned attempts to do God's will are useless unless I regularly "withdraw to a solitary place" to listen to my Father. Through time in His word, sharing my heart in prayer AND being still enough to listen, I begin to see the path God has for me to get involved in what He is doing in my little part of His world. Without that time, I find that I am often tilting at windmills.
Secondly, Jesus was willing to be interrupted as He went about the work the Father had given Him to do. Most of the accounts that we have of Jesus interacting with people and performing miracles begin with a phrase like "as Jesus went on from there." He was often traveling to another destination when someone approached Him in need of healing. While His disciples often tried to discourage or deter these seekers, Jesus always had time for the people who crossed His path. Jesus was all about relationship. In these instances, He made the choice to stop and offer healing and care to the persons involved. Because He was not overly tied to His agenda of the moment, He could attend to the higher purposes for which He was sent. In our own lives, we similarly have the choice to view the unexpected, the unplanned and the inconvenient interruptions we encounter as precious opportunities for ministry....divine appointments to realize our own role in bringing about the Kingdom of Heaven.
Third, Jesus was willing to get His hands dirty. One of my favorite stories about Jesus was the time He chose to wash the feet of His disciples in order to teach them about being a servant.  In their culture, washing dirty feet was the lowliest of jobs, yet Jesus got on His knees and tenderly washed and dried the dust-covered feet of those He loved most and then entreated them to do the same in His name. In fact, He said clearly in John 13:15 "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you." As I seek to find the "important" work that I can do in God's Kingdom, I sometimes overlook the opportunities for smaller acts of service...acts that become holy when done from a place of love and grace and gratitude. Life is messy. People are complicated. Getting our hands dirty; literally or figuratively, requires a willingness to get involved in the middle of the mess and complications. Yet, that is exactly what Jesus has called us to do. I have written on this before and I quoted this song from Michael Card in its entirety. Here is my favorite part:
And the space between ourselves sometimes
is more than the distance between the stars.
By the fragile bridge of the Servant's bow
we take up the basin and the towel.
Finally, if we are to truly become Jesus' hands and feet, we must share His love for "the least of these."  This is the hard part of the gospel message for us sometimes. Jesus was revolutionary in His approach to the downtrodden and forgotten in His society. He touched lepers, He welcomed women and children, He dined with criminals, He championed the poor, He defended the powerless. Jesus spent His time on earth with the hated and the outcasts and claimed that He had come to "preach good news to the poor." There are a number of examples of this in scripture. Here are just a few:

He tells of a rich man and a poor one, and how the poor man goes to heaven and the rich man doesn’t.(Luke 16:19-31)

He tells of others who’ll be surprised they didn’t get into paradise because they didn’t take care of Him when He was hungry or in prison. They object that they never saw Him that way; He replies that whenever they neglected the hungry or imprisoned or unclothed, they neglected Him (Matthew 25.)

He says it’s harder for a rich person to enter heaven than a camel to go through the eye of a needle. He tells a rich man only one thing is between him and the Kingdom: he needs to sell what he has and give it to the poor (Mark 10:17-31.)

While Jesus came to reconcile us ALL to the Father, He is clear that He expects us to take care of one another and to begin with "the least of these." God does not call all of us to sell everything we have and give it all to the poor, but He does call us to get involved and allow Him to show us how. If I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, I have to open my eyes to the suffering in the world and allow my heart to be broken by those things that break the heart of the Father. Because there is so much brokenness in our world, I can become overwhelmed by the need and throw my hands up in despair. I recently read a book that addressed these issues in a profound way and gave me hope for the Church. Please read it, if this topic tugs at your heart. It is called The Hole in Our Gospel. Bottom line: we each can make a difference and it matters that we try...God is at work in the world and we can be part of it. We can be the hands and feet of Jesus in our part of the world...what a privilege!

Living Life Online- Facebook, Blogging, IPhones, Etc.

2010-05-26T12:24:46-04:00

If you are over 40, you perhaps share my amazement at how the world has changed in our lifetime. I recently blogged about my journey parenting teenagers, but neglected to mention the additional challenges created by the fact that my kids can be connected to their peers 24/7 due to their access to cell phones and Facebook. Living life online is the only way my kids know how to be teenagers. It is a challenge that our parents did not face when we were making our journeys through adolescence, so we have no model to follow on this front. As I find with much of this parenting thing, we are making it up as we go along...even more so, in terms of guiding our children and their use of social media and technology. Perhaps a good addition to my list in that previous blog entry: remember that we as parents have to teach our kids that computers and cell phones are not a right, but a privilege...a privilege that can be lost, if not handled responsibly.
But I digress...I am not interested in talking today about my kid's use of technology, but my own. Although I ostensibly originally got on Facebook to spy on my teenagers, I have found myself to be every bit as enamored by it as they are. In fact, I love ALL of this stuff! I was thrilled by my first car phone in the early 90s...remember, they were actually installed in your car? You couldn't carry it around with you! No phone in the grocery store; how did we survive? And I remember when my girlfriend in Michigan showed me this cool Internet thing when I was there visiting her in the mid 90's. Funny how antiquated that first computer we had then would be now that we are a house of multiple computers. The phones got smaller, the hard drives got bigger, the internet access got faster and now I can access my email and Facebook from my phone from anywhere in the world! And don't even get me started on how much I love my IPhone...it is ridiculous! Frankly, it still seems like some kind of magic to me that I can be on my wireless home phone with my sister in North Carolina and email her a picture, either with my cell phone or my computer, while I am still talking to her and she can instantly see what I am referencing. Crazy!
I began blogging in September of 2005 after being introduced to the blogging world by my friend Neil (whose blog I still enjoy.) Initially, I blogged A LOT and found that it opened up a whole new world for me. I loved the creativity of writing and I have been blessed by the opportunity to share my faith journey with the folks who stopped by to read what I had to say. When I added Facebook to the mix a couple of years ago, I found that I backed off blogging a bit to play with this "new toy." In the last couple of months, I have begun to connect my Facebook community and my blog readers with some extremely cool technology that my blogging host Typepad has recently offered.
Please join me on a tour of the new features that we now offer here at Seeking Him :-)

My blog is set up to automatically post my entries on Facebook. My friends on Facebook can then click on the link and be taken directly to my blog.

Once here, my readers have the opportunity to "Like" my blog by clicking on the Facebook "like" button on the left side of the page. Besides making me feel validated (as in you aren't really liked until you are "Liked" on Facebook :-)) I think that it somehow gives the "fans" of my blog some additional notification when I post a new entry. For those of you who have "liked" my blog, thank you so much!

There is also a Facebook "like" button under each particular blog entry. This gives readers the opportunity to express their enjoyment of a particular entry and thereby "recommend" it to their Facebook friends by it showing up on their Facebook page as something they "liked." Everyone still with me?

This is my favorite one!! Under each post, there is a feature called "LinkWithin" that recommends three other posts I have written in the past. Through some kind of internet magic, this application scans the entry for key words and topics, then recommends three "you might also like." I have really enjoyed this one, as it has reminded me of things I have written in the past and showed me how God was working in my life at that point in my journey.

Also under each entry, there is a "Favorites" button. Although I love the idea that readers could mark some of their favorite entries, I don't actually know what happens when you click that link. If you read something you particularly like, would you click on that button for me and let me know what happens? :-)

There is also a "Reblog" button. I think this allows you to copy my entry and share it on your own blog....again, you can see that I didn't exactly read the fine print when I added this feature.

Lastly, the banner across the top is another new feature that I love. That is a picture of flowers from my very own garden! I love that I can personalize my blog by using my own pictures, so stay tuned for seasonal changes!

So there you have it!! Before I added anymore bells and whistles, I thought I would update everyone on some of the cool stuff that is already there. I'm sure Typepad will come up with more fun toys to add to my blog and I will have to add them as well. Did I mention that I can also access my blog from my phone? So far, I have never posted a blog entry from my phone, but the fact that I could if I wanted to makes me giggle. So fun!

Whose To-Do List?

2010-05-20T12:05:49-04:00

What a glorious day! I have been sitting in the backyard this morning, soaking up the sunshine after several rainy, cool days. The flowers in my yard are gorgeous after all the rain; you can almost see them growing and stretching in the warmth of this morning's sun. The birdfeeders are full and the birds, after a few minutes, decided to ignore me and go about their business as usual, allowing me the pleasure of watching them from my seat nearby. Truly, a beautiful morning to be alive. As I enjoyed the beauty of God's creations, I spent some quiet time in the additional company of a few of my favorite devotionals and God's Word. One of the devotionals that I read regularly is called Jesus Calling. I read several passages this morning, but one of them particularly spoke to me, so I thought I would share it here. The passages in this devotional are all written in the first person, as if Jesus were speaking directly to us. Here is the entry from May 6, followed by the suggested scriptures:
Do not search for security in the world you inhabit. You tend to make mental checklists of things you need to do in order to gain control of your life. If only you could check everything off your list, you could relax and be at peace. But the more you work to accomplish that goal, the more things crop up on your list. The harder you try, the more frustrated you become.
There is a better way to find security in this life. Instead of scrutinizing your checklist, focus your attention on My Presence with you. This continual contact with Me will keep you in My Peace. Moreover, I will help you sort out what is important and what is not, what needs to be done now and what does not. Fix your eyes not on what is seen (your circumstances), but what is unseen (My Presence).
Isaiah 26:3 , 2 Corinthians 4:18
This really struck a chord with me. I don't know about you, but there are a million things on my list of things that I need to/ should do. Some are things that I hope to do today (get my filthy car washed, empty the dishwasher, run a load of laundry, return a phone call, etc.) and some are things that hang over my head that I need to do "sometime" (clean out the file cabinet, reorganize the playroom, get frames for the posters I want to hang, call that long-distance friend to re-connect etc.) Sometimes I successfully stay on top of the first list, but there is always that nagging feeling that I am never quite finished. As the devotional suggested, the sense of always living in a place of "not quite finished" can rob me of peace. Peace that Jesus says is my birthright in Him (John 16:33)
I love the message of this little devotional. Essentially, it is asking me to examine from whose to-do list I am operating? Whose agenda am I following? Mine, my spouse, my kids, my friends? Who or what owns the key to my peace? Clearly, we all have responsibilities that we need to honor and work that needs doing, yet I am freed by the idea that resting, walking, living, abiding in God's Presence can help me determine a better way. And, it seems to me, that consulting God's to-do list allows me the opportunity to contribute to His Kingdom, to join in His work, to be part of something bigger. As I get a little further along on this journey with the Lord, I am learning to anticipate the adventure of holding onto my own agenda a little more loosely. When I am willing to be interrupted as I work through my "list," I often find that God has something much more wonderful planned for my day. And strangely enough, when I abide in Him, I tend to get done the things that really need doing.

Surviving the Teenage Years

2010-05-17T12:55:18-04:00

Let me begin by saying that there is the distinct possibility that I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about.
Lately, I have heard several people lamenting the approach of the teenage years in their families. This has gotten me thinking about our family's journey through the teenage years. My baby will be 14 on Wednesday and my big girl is 16 and driving! At this juncture, it is too soon to determine whether or not we will ultimately "survive" these years, whatever that means. Being mom to two teenage girls is stretching me in interesting ways...ways that are different than the earlier stages of this journey. With my youngest headed to high school next year, I have been thoughtful lately about what I am learning about this part of my journey; what have I learned up to this point about raising teenagers? What seems to be helpful so far and what is decidedly not working? I tease my oldest that she is my "practice" child and that hopefully I will get it right with her sister. :-)
So what have I learned so far about surviving the teenage years? Referring you back to the first sentence of this blog entry, here are a few of the things I am reminding myself along the way:

Don't take IT personally! This one is something I remind myself frequently. "IT" in this case may refer to the tendency for them to prefer the company of their friends, their computers, the tv, their book, their cell phone, their music or the blank wall in front of them to your company. IT may also refer to the fact that one moment you appear to be reasonably intelligent, mildly amusing and somewhat resourceful and the next moment they look at you like they wonder how anyone so profoundly stupid can find their way downstairs in the morning. IT might refer to the eye-rolling, the selective hearing, the lip service, the monosyllabic responses and the mood swings. IT may be the sudden decision that they hate something they have always loved or now love something that they have always hated...particularly if it was your idea previously and is now their idea. Responding to IT logically and appropriately is much easier and, in my experience, much more successful when I am operating from a place of calm consideration as opposed to hurt feelings or a sense of personal attack. IT really isn't about the parent when it comes to teenage ups and downs. Which leads me to the second point.

Remember what is developmentally appropriate for this age. When my oldest daughter was in 6th grade, we were sitting with some other parents talking about the onset of the teen years in our family. One very wise dad, whose youngest of 4 was also in 6th grade at the time, told me this: "Just remember, there is nothing in the world more self-centered than an 8th grade girl. If you remember that, you'll be fine. And don't worry, they do grow out of it." I cannot tell you how many times I have chanted that refrain to myself...my mantra for surviving the self involvement of the early teen years!! As I think back to my previous life as a counselor working with adolescents and their families, I remind myself that most of the things that frustrate me now as a parent are things that I know are a normal part of being a teenager. Establishing themselves as individuals, questioning the values of their parents, testing limits and boundaries, increasing concern about the opinions of their peers, wanting to spend more time alone or with their friends, trying on new or different identities...all of these things are an essential part of being a teenager and getting ready to leave home. And yes, leaving home is actually what we are preparing them to do at this stage, as painful as that sometimes seems for me. Educating yourself on adolescent development makes it much easier to heed the first suggestion above AND to know when we are dealing with something that is outside of the normal ups and downs.

Remain playful!  My husband is much better at this than I am, probably because he spends less time dealing with the task oriented aspects of parenting. I am finding recently that I often need to make a conscious decision to keep a moment light and playful with my girls. That sometimes means letting go of the opportunity to correct, guide or...ok, let's just call it what it is...lecture them about something that comes up in conversation. I find that the moments when they are completely unguarded and telling me about the details of their lives are simply not as frequent as they were when they were little. The absolute quickest way for me to shut down those moments is for me to jump on every "teachable" moment by problem solving, correcting, commenting on someone else's behavior or some other "mom" thing. I am learning to listen more when I get those precious moments of peeking inside the parts of their lives to which I am not always invited. When something comes up about which I feel it necessary to comment, I am more likely to do so in a playful way, than a lecturing way. For more on this, I refer you back to this post. Because our girls are so busy and we don't get the day to day time we used to get with them, we are much more likely to plan movie nights or dinners out together to intentionally have some time to play together. In our busy lives, and with their increased desire for time with their friends, we are choosing to make family play time a required activity on a regular basis. This sometimes means pulling them out of their other activities, but we are finding that it doesn't happen unless we make it a priority.

Remember that they need me to be their parent, not their friend.  Although we treasure our times of being playful and silly together and although we are choosing to pick our battles on every little eye roll or deep sigh from them, Steve and I are very clear that it is our job to set boundaries and limits. I could go off on a huge, judgmental rant about this, but it makes me sad how many parents of teenagers I see who have simply given up their job as parents. Our kids sometimes don't like us very much when we say NO to them, at least in the moment, and it would be easier sometimes to just let them do it their own way. Sometimes, when I have chosen to make a stand on a particular issue, the battle is exhausting. It is hard to stand firm under unrelenting badgering, bargaining, manipulating, pouting, stomping and tears. Yet, we know the stakes are high and it is worth it, even when it is not fun. It is our job to communicate what is acceptable. It is our choice to sometimes allow them a little room to push it a bit. It is also our obligation and responsibility to sometimes set a firm boundary that says "here is the line and there will be consequences if you choose to cross it." So far, when we give a firm no, I have not had a kid say "Thank you so much, Mom. I know you are setting that boundary because you love me. I so appreciate you making the effort to guide me and help me to become a responsible human being." Generally, it is something more along the line of "That's not fair!! Everybody else gets to..." I can't wait until they have teenagers of their own! :-)

Pray first!  This is not listed last because it is the least important, but because it is the one I need to hear the most. Pray first...before I react, before I respond, before I decide, before I erupt, before I get my feelings hurt, before I yell, before I open my mouth, before I choose not to speak, before I lay awake worrying, before I condemn myself or another. Pray first! While the other things I mentioned would likely be useful for anyone, this last one is the ace in the hole for the follower of Jesus. For a believer, prayer is our secret weapon. Better than any parenting book, prayer connects us with the ultimate source of wisdom, the antidote for worry, the path to peace. As I connect to my Source, I am reminded that He is ultimately their Source as well. Steve and I are not parenting these girls on our own. God has a plan for the lives of our girls; He is not just waiting for us to raise them and then He will take over. He knows what is best for them, and He really doesn't need my advice in determining their future (although I do have some pretty good ideas!) All that they experience during these years, both the good and the bad, is ultimately part of their journey with the Lord. I can confidently place them in His hands. Everyday, over and over again, I can surrender them to His care and ask His guidance in determining where I fit into the picture. Truly, I don't know how people parent without prayer!

Bottom line, I am loving this season of our family's journey. My girls are some of my favorite people in the world to be around. I love their sense of humor, their intellect, their hearts and their insights on the world around us. In all honesty, I found the baby stage of life to be really hard. I like a kid with whom I can have a conversation; even when it becomes something of a debate! Teenagers are, by nature, passionate and emotional; traits that I value in the adults with whom I choose to spend time. I love that my girls are so different. I like that they are growing and changing and trying on new aspects of their personality, almost as often as they try on new clothes at the mall. It makes me laugh that my little tomboy now spends hours straightening her hair and putting on makeup, but will also kick off her shoes in a heartbeat to race anyone who questions her speed. It makes me smile when my "sunshine and rainbows" girl tries on the newly skeptical and sardonic aspect of her personality. Yet, in spite of her experimentation with cynicism, she still just can't stay in a bad mood, no matter how hard she tries. I recently heard her describe herself as a "cynical optimist;" a perfect description of the polarity of adolescence.
Here's the hardest part of this stage for me: so far, I really don't want them to ever leave! As they enter high school, it seems like everything is a countdown to get them out the door. I can become really sad when I realize that we have less time left with either of them now then the time we had with them before they started Kindergarten. At least, in terms of the time left that they will be living in our house full-time. Realizing that I have so little time left is, however, something of a gift. This knowledge helps me in the sense that I am choosing to cherish this time, savor this time, enjoy every minute I have to spend with them...even on the days that I want to smack them!!
If you have raised adolescents or are currently in that season of your life, I would love to hear your top survival techniques. What works for you? What have you learned? All suggestions or insights are welcome!!

Simple Prayers

2010-05-13T22:27:11-04:00

I heard the most beautiful prayer today at the Lamb Center at the end of bible study. She said simply this "God, thank you for bringing me to this safe place where I can start to like You again."

God in a Box

2010-05-12T18:04:25-04:00

Recently, I have been participating in the women's bible study on Wednesday mornings at CPC. We are using Priscilla Shirer's study One in a Million and I am really enjoying it. In our video lessons on Wednesdays, she is challenging us to compare our journey to Promised Land living with the Israelites' wilderness trek to Canaan after God delivered them from slavery in Egypt.

Today in the video, she used an illustration that I found compelling and, in order to cement it in my mind, decided to share here. Her suggestion to the viewer was that our view of God- His ability, His power, His capacity- is shaped by everything we have learned up to this point in our life. In addition to our personal experiences, our view of God is influenced by the testimonies of our friends and family, by the teaching of our denomination, by our exposure to scripture and by the ways we interpret His presence in the world around us. This understanding of God is unique to each of us and she suggested that we carry our picture of Him around in our "God box." Our boxes are different sizes and shapes, mine subtly or perhaps drastically different from yours. As we go through our life, every experience is filtered through our "God box" and we carry it with us into every aspect of who we are. If we see God at work in our lives, it is most often through the lense of what we already know about Him.

But, here is the thing: God doesn"t fit in boxes!

As she has said several times during this study, God is predictable in His character, but not in His actions. God is a God of endless creativity and reserves the right to show up in a way in which we would least expect Him. Unfortunately for us, we often allow our ability to see Him to be limited by the size and shape of our "box." We become complacent in our spiritual walk because God seems to be doing the same old stuff He has always done. Good stuff perhaps, but nothing new.

This conversation about our God boxes in today's video was in the context of how the people in our life influence our view of God. Do we surround ourselves with people who help us to increase our view of God...people who stretch our "God box" by showing us new ways to see our "bigger than a box" God? Additionally, what kind of influence are we in the lives of others? Do we, by our testimony to the work of God in our life, help others to increase their view of God...to grow and stretch their "God box?"

As we discussed this illustration later in our small group, I figured out why this was so meaningful for me. In the past two years, I have struggled to share with my closest Christian friends my experience of serving at the Lamb Center. Because sharing what God is doing in our lives is part of the glue that holds these precious friendships together...the very DNA of who and what our friendship is based on...I have felt drawn to share the enormous impact that this experience has had on my life. Yet, when I try to talk about it, I find that I often struggle to put it into words. In addition, I often feel that my friends interpret my passion for the work that the Lamb Center is doing as some sort of attempt to recruit them or convince them to join me there, though this is far from true. While I believe we are all called to serve the Lord in some capacity, I am equally clear that we are all called to join His work in the way that means most to us. I love this quote from Frederick Buechner:  "The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet." FOR ME, sharing God's Word around that table is where my deep gladness meets the world's deep hunger.

But, I digress....(imagine!) This illustration about putting God in a box meant so much to me today because my time at the Lamb Center has busted my "God box" wide open!  THAT is what I have been wanting to share. My friends around the Lamb Center table have filled their "God box" with some life experiences that differ from mine. Their experience of God and the ways that they are seeing Him at work in their lives today stretch my perception of God to such a degree that He no longer remotely fits in the box that I had built for Him after 40 + years of traveling this journey. The ways in which He provides every single need for the Lamb Center...from the shortage of paper plates, to the need for one more person to work in the laundry...challenges every preconception I had about the way God works in the lives of His people. The deep hunger for His word, for His hand, for His healing that I experience every time I sit around that table and the way He continually meets those needs, has changed the way I see Him. I am changed because I can't find a big enough box for this God anymore. I just can't wait to see what He is going to do next!

So there it is. For me, part of my journey to the Promised Land is to remain amazed, astounded, expectant about the new and different ways that God might show Himself. I'm not sure, but I think that is what we mean when we talk about the "glory of God." Glory!

Easter People

2010-04-06T18:52:27-04:00

Today I spent some time talking with some friends about living on this side of Easter...what difference does it make in our everyday lives that we are beneficiaries of the Easter miracle? In preparing for our time of study, I ran across this excerpt from an Easter homily. I thought it was a wonderful reminder of the gift of Easter that continues into Monday morning.

In a planet that has apparently gone berserk, hope dims. In an economy that has plummeted, dreams shatter. In a world where wars continue to be fought, fear cripples. In a society where man becomes increasingly inhumane to his fellowman, trust perishes.

But we still hope. We pin our hopes on Someone who conquered hopelessness by curing the sick, feeding the hungry, mending the brokenhearted. We pin our hopes on Someone who overcame forsakenness by being helplessly nailed to a tree. We pin our hopes on Someone who has broken through the absurdity of a dark and despicable tomb. We hope in a Risen Lord!

We are a people of hope. We don't hang our star on material possessions. We don't hook our star on superficial happiness that comes from fleeting amusements and allurements. We don't hang our star on the false sense of security that comes from military might and technology. All these are good and beneficial to us. But they can fail. And they have failed us before. And they are not forever.

Our ultimate hope is on a super-event. It was an explosion of life and grace. It was the dawning of the fulfillment of every human being's deepest longing: inextinguishable happiness. This event is Easter.

We are an Easter People!

~ Father Ramelo Somera- Kauai

Real Love

2010-03-02T17:41:54-05:00

If you read my posts last week about the greatest commandments, then this scripture is for you. This is found in 1 John 3:18-24 (The Message.)

When We Practice Real Love

^18-20My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

^21-24And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God! We're able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we're doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God's command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us.

Isn't that fabulous? I love the wording "debilitating self-criticism." Can you relate? I know I can! Over the years of talking with my Christian brothers and sisters about the ups and downs of our journey with the Lord, I have heard way too much of this "debilitating self-criticism." While the Lord loves a humble heart, I have known so many people who are stuck...simply paralyzed...by a debilitatingly critical view of themselves and how they think they "ought" to be. Yet, in these verses, it appears that John is gently reminding us that REAL love is the antidote for that "paralysis of analysis." Whether we think too highly of ourselves or we think too little of ourselves, thinking too much about ourselves can keep us stuck. The two commandments that Jesus valued most highly--to love God with all our hearts, souls and minds and to love our neighbors as ourselves--set us free to receive the life God has planned for us. Real love, it seems, is the cure for debilitating self-criticism and perhaps, the path back to a healthy, invigorating love for ourselves as well.

The Greatest Commandment (Part 3)

2010-02-25T21:21:04-05:00

Our last scripture about the greatest commandment is found in the Gospel of Mark. Because I love the particular wording, I wanted you to read it in The Message translation (Mark 12:28-34:)

The Most Important Commandment
²⁸One of the religion scholars came up. Hearing the lively exchanges of question and answer and seeing how sharp Jesus was in his answers, he put in his question: "Which is most important of all the commandments?"
^29-31Jesus said, "The first in importance is, 'Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.' And here is the second: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' There is no other commandment that ranks with these."
^32-33The religion scholar said, "A wonderful answer, Teacher! So lucid and accurate—that God is one and there is no other. And loving him with all passion and intelligence and energy, and loving others as well as you love yourself. Why, that's better than all offerings and sacrifices put together!"
³⁴When Jesus realized how insightful he was, he said, "You're almost there, right on the border of God's kingdom."
   After that, no one else dared ask a question.

When I began looking for the scripture references for this particular story, this is the last one I read and it gave me goosebumps! Can you imagine having a conversation with Jesus like this? You ask Him a question, you hear His answer. You repeat back to Him what you think He meant...how you understand what He is teaching. And then He says to you, "Yes, you are just about there! I think you get it!"

Like I said in the first post on this topic, I like to synthesize and summarize...I want to "get" the point. Whether it is reading a book, hearing a sermon or listening to someone present an arguement, I like to figure out the essential message that I can take away. What is the author/speaker trying to communicate and how does that apply to my life and understanding? When the speaker is God Incarnate, "getting the point" is even more exciting!

For those of you who have read this blog over the years, you may have noticed that I mention the Kingdom, with a capital K, regularly. Jesus spoke a great deal about the Kingdom of God or the Kingdom of Heaven and I am fascinated by what He was trying to communicate when He spoke, sometimes quite cryptically, about the Kingdom. Is the Kingdom now or later? Is it here or there? And what is this about it being "within us?"

My understanding over the years has grown and changed, but it boils down to this: the Kingdom is the way we are meant to live...the way we were wired to live, back when God created us in His image. God meant for us to be in relationship with Him and in harmony with one another, all under His rule and authority. When we decided that we wanted to be our own god, that perfect union was broken and we have been trying to find our way back ever since...both individually and collectively. Jesus came to show us the way home, both here on earth and later in heaven. The Kingdom is all about finding our way HOME, to the way it was always supposed to be.

The good news is, in my opinion, that we don't have to wait for heaven to experience the Kingdom. Signposts to the Kingdom are sprinkled throughout the Gospels, but I think our verse here in Mark says it simply, directly and beautifully.  These two commandments point the way to our path Home to the life we were always meant to live. The way home, as the man in our story reminds us, is not through religious rituals (offerings and sacrifices) but through a passionate love for our God and for our neighbor. When we truly understand these two commandments, Jesus says we are right on the border of the Kingdom; we are almost there.

While the message is simple, it is certainly not easy. The world's ways are not Kingdom ways and sometimes it seems that we are so far from seeing God's Kingdom come. Yet, these verses encourage me. As I said, I'm a simple girl and I like to have it laid out for me. This path to the Kingdom makes sense to me, particularly because any glimpses I have seen of the Kingdom have come straight out of my experience of these two commandments. While it may sound simplistic and naive to say that love is the answer, it is important to remember that love like this is hard work. Loving God with ALL our "passion, prayer, intelligence and energy" isn't a part-time, halfway kind of love. This kind of love is not for sissies. And I don't know about you, but not all the "neighbors" God throws in my path are very loveable. Yet, I am encouraged...excited even...to think that pouring myself into a life that is defined by this kind of BIG love will matter in the long run. At 45, I am definitely too young to have determined the meaning of life, but I suspect it has a great deal to do with seeking the Kingdom.

I could go on and on, but I will leave you with a quote from an author I really enjoy. I think he says it all.

"I am convinced that the Christian Gospel has as much to do with this life as the next, and that the message of that Gospel is not just about going up when we die but about bringing God's Kingdom down." ~Shane Claiborne

Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. AMEN!

The Greatest Commandment (Part 2)

2010-02-24T14:38:18-05:00

11:45 a.m.- I should warn you right from the start that I have had A LOT of coffee this morning. In my Lenten quest to spend more quality face-to-face time, I have scheduled several coffee dates for this week, including a lovely two hour visit with a fabulous friend this morning. It is almost noon and I have pretty much been drinking coffee since 6:00 a.m...so watch out!

SO, let's continue with our story of Jesus talking about His pick for the most important part of God's Law. Yesterday, we looked at the account from Matthew. Today, I would draw your attention to Luke's account. Again, this is your time to go read it, so I don't have to cut and paste the whole thing. Yes, as you see, this time the discussion of the greatest commandment is the precursor to the story of the Good Samaritan. And this time, the question is a little different from the expert who is testing Jesus. He asks "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"  Jesus, as He often did, answered the man with another question, " what is written in the Law...how do you read it?" When the man answered with the two commandments that we talked about yesterday, Jesus told him that he was correct and told him to live that way. I love how this next part is written in The Message translation, "Looking for a loophole, he asked Jesus 'And just how would you define neighbor?'" Aren't we often "looking for a loophole" when we read something in God's word to us that sounds really difficult?

What follows is the story that many of us have known since childhood about how the unexpected traveler is the one who stops to help the wounded man on the side of the road. As He often did, Jesus turned expectations upside down by making the hero of our story a member of a race that was despised by His Jewish listeners. Despite his lack of the proper religious pedigree, the Samaritan embodies the definition of the "good neighbor" by showing mercy and grace to someone who needed a big dose of both. We don't know if the wounded man on the side of the road was "deserving" of this mercy, just that the Samaritan's "heart went out to him (The Message)" and he felt compelled to change his plans for the moment to take care of the stranger's needs. In contrast, the "religious" travelers' who came upon the man turned their heads and looked away...in fact, crossed to the other side of the road to avoid dealing with the neediness in their path.

A couple of things strike me about this story today. In my suburban existence, I don't often wander onto injured people in the road. I like to think that I would stop and help someone should I be presented with the opportunity. I mean, I have a cell phone, I would certainly call 911, right? Clearly though, we all know that Jesus calls us to a broader definition of "neighbor." Using this story as a guide, who is MY neighbor? Who has God placed in my path today to whom I could extend mercy? If I'm honest, I wonder how often I inadvertently turn my head and cross to the other side of the road to avoid meeting the eyes of someone who could benefit from the mercy and grace I might be able to offer.

I passed a scene yesterday that made me think about how we can be the Good Samaritan in our story. I have a friend, a suburban "homemaker" just like me, who works as a crossing guard in front of a local elementary school. She has worked there for years, although none of her 4 children attend that school any longer. In fact, I was surprised when I drove by the other day to see that she was still there. Yet, as I drove by, I recalled hearing her talk about her work there...work that she considers her ministry. Because of its location, this school has a large number of kids who will be going home to an empty house...homes that are faced with many challenges. She has made it a point to really get to know these kids, to connect with the kids, to offer help or a listening ear to these kids. While her job is to see them safely across the street, she chooses to really SEE them and follow God's leading in offering whatever she has from her storehouse of mercy and grace.

I have another friend who knows the stories, worries and concerns of all the cashiers at our local grocery store. She remembers their kids' names, their health challenges and shares with us prayer concerns that they know they can share with her when she comes to their register with her groceries. If I am honest, I have to admit that I often go in and out of the grocery store without ever looking directly in the eyes of another human being. After all, I am usually in a hurry, right? If they had been asked, would our priest and Levite have said the same thing?

Those are just a couple of examples of people who I know who personify the Good Samaritan without ever leaving their ordinary, everyday path. Of course, we all know the stories of people who serve as missionaries in impoverished areas and that is awesome, but I don't think that is necessarily the heart of this particular story. To me, this story reminds me to open my eyes to the possibilities to "love my neighbor as myself" while I am living my ordinary, everyday life AND to be willing to deal with interruptions to my agenda. After all, Jesus performed most of His miracles while He was "on the way" to somewhere else. When I learn to live out of the grace that I receive from embracing the First of the two commandments, I am equipped to pour out the grace required of the Second commandment. Divine love in, divine love out. For me, it is only through the first that my eyes are opened to the second.

2:00 p.m. This is not the way I expected to finish this post.

I just returned to my computer after taking a break for an appointment. I wrote the previous section and then left to go to my 1:00 nail appointment. As I drove there, I was thinking about how I wanted to finish up this post and about the one I am looking forward to writing tomorrow. With this prayerfully in my mind, I arrived to see my precious friend, M. I have been getting my nails done by this lovely young lady for about 6 years. My husband teases me that I keep having my nails done because I am so crazy about M. Over the years, I have had the privilege of getting to know her as she successfully navigated the process of becoming a U.S. citizen, through her pregnancy with her son (who turned 4 this month,) through the ups and downs in her relationship with her son's father, and through some tragedies in her family. Today, I went in to see her with my heart full of our "discussion" here. As God always does when we open our eyes to His presence in the midst of us, He blessed me with the opportunity to put into practice what He has been showing me in His word. Through the course of our discussion, it became clear that my usually upbeat, positive, glass-half-full friend was struggling today. She shared with me about a very, very difficult circumstance she had recently experienced. While it is not my story to share here, suffice it to say that she shared with me at a deeper level than she had ever done before. As I quietly and prayerfully listened to her share her pain, I marvelled at the "coincidence" that brought me to her side right smack in the middle of writing this blog about having my eyes open to the hurting stranger on the side of my road. Because God had opened my eyes and prepared my heart in a particular way today, I had the opportunity and willingness to address some very difficult issues with her, to encourage her with my love for her and, more importantly, with God's love for her. It was a holy moment.

I share this story not to pat myself on the back for being a good friend to her...that was my privilege. I firmly believe that it had very little to do with me and everything to do with God. The timing was miraculous. God is good and I am in awe. I am hopeful that this story does not end here. My heart is too full to say anything more.

Tomorrow I want to look at the last scripture which is found in Mark. Stay tuned...it is my favorite and the whole reason that I wanted to write these posts in the first place.

The Greatest Commandment

2010-02-23T17:49:37-05:00

I like simple. I like a short phrase that sticks in my mind. If my husband would allow me to put bumper stickers on our cars, I would likely have a couple of pithy phrases pasted to the bumper of my SUV. Boiling something down to its essence appeals to me. While I understand that life is generally a bit messier and more complicated than a single descriptive phrase might allow, I still have a tendency to want to synthesize and summarize.

Because of this aspect of my personality, I really love it when scripture gives us those power phrases...especially when it is red letter "straight from the mouth of Jesus." If Jesus answers a question in the definitive, it seems like that would be a sentence or two to remember.

Such is the case when Jesus is asked to reveal what He believes to be the "greatest commandment" in the Law. Only recently did I discover, after telling that story numerous times in bible study discussions, that scripture actually tells this story 3 different times in the Gospels; in Matthew, Mark and Luke. When I started digging around in these 3 different accounts, I gained an even deeper appreciation for the power of these words. Simple, powerful, life-changing. Over the next few days, I want to talk a little bit about what these verses mean to me.

The first account is found in Matthew 22:34-40.  (Those different colored letters and numbers mean for you to click on it and go read it...go ahead, I'll wait :-) This account is fairly straight foward, although I did find it interesting that the questioner really wasn't concerned with the answer to the question, so much as he wanted to trick Jesus into making an error.  Lucky for us, God can even use evil motives to achieve great teaching moments. Jesus says his favorite commandment is simply this: love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul and mind. The second is to love your neighbor as yourself. I primarily want to address the first commandment today because the account in Luke really emphasizes the second commandment...stay tuned!

Having been raised in the church, I probably got the point about loving God early on...we're supposed to love God, I get it...sounds easy enough, right? That neighbor part might get a little tough sometimes, but I definitely got that first one down, no problem. I love God, check! It has only been in recent years that I started thinking more about the "all your heart, all your soul and all your mind" part. The part of the Law from which Jesus was quoting says it even better:

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

⁴ Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. ⁵ Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

The Message translation of this verse says to "love Him with all that's in you, love Him with all you've got!"  As I pondered THAT sort of love...all that's in me, all that I've got...this idea of loving God doesn't seem as simple.  Yes, I love Him, but do I love Him enough? And what is enough?

When I got back into really reading and studying God's Word several years ago, a bible teacher shared something with us that changed my life. She said "every time you think of God, it is because He thought of you first." She reminded us of the verse in 1 John that tells us that we love because He first loved us. All my life, I had felt that I was chasing after God; pursuing Him, seeking Him, hoping He would "notice" me and think I was good enough. In reality, all those years, God was actually pursuing me, seeking to be in relationship with me, hoping I would notice Him at work in my life and finally believe and accept the "height and depth" of His transforming love for me. As I began to read the Bible with fresh eyes, I saw it as the account of His love for me...a love letter to me and to all His people, the story of the ways that He woos us and forgives us and never gives up on bringing us back to Himself. Gradually, as I nestled into this new understanding of how much He loves me, I knew that teaching me to love Him "enough" was what He wanted most in the world...and He is a God who gets His way! Now, my prayer each day is "God, I love You so much, but help me to love You even more." It is a prayer that I believe He always answers in the affirmative. As He transforms my heart, I don't have to "try" to love Him with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind. I just ask that He make it so and offer my heart, soul and mind to Him for reconstructive surgery. And all that other stuff on which I had worked so hard before, that just falls into place when I focus on loving God first. If I can't remember one other thing in the bible, this one commandment will start the ball rolling in the right direction. It is all about relationship first...just ask Jesus!

Speaking of relationship, we can't just keep all that transformational love to ourselves. The nature of this kind of love is overflowing. Tomorrow, I want to talk about the account in Luke where Jesus talks about these two commandments.

Why I Gave Up Facebook for Lent

2010-02-18T16:58:24-05:00

First of all, I love Facebook. I do not think that Facebook represents the decline of civilization, the root of all evil, or the single most likely factor to destroy our children. I love Facebook! Facebook is fun and I have had a blast getting in touch with childhood friends, spying on my teenagers, finding out the latest news, looking at pictures and generally plugging in to my culture through this new phenomenon of social media. During the recent snowstorm here on the East Coast, FB was a fabulous way of connecting and commiserating while we were all stuck in our houses....even when our power was out, many of us went on FB on our phones! It was fun to see everyone's snow pictures, to share our snow totals with friends in warmer climates, and to generally stay connected with my community.  I did not decide to take a break from Facebook because I think Facebook is bad. Furthermore, I do not think everyone else, or for that matter, anyone else should give up Facebook for Lent. In fact, I have no opinion whatsoever about your relationship with Facebook.

So why then, you ask (at least one of you,) did I decide to take a break from Facebook during this season of Lent? It's really none of your business.

Just kidding!!   I chose to inform my Facebook friends of my "status" for Lent so that noone would take it personally if I don't respond to their friend request, their comment, their awesome pictures, their inspirational message or any other overtures of interaction that may be directed my way.  Before I disappeared, I thought I would alert anyone who checks their Newsfeed every day JUST to see what I am doing :-)  Since you (Neil) are interested, here is why.

In my Protestant background, the observance of Lent is largely left up to the individual. We are not required to observe any particular dietary restrictions and noone really talks that much about "giving something up" for Lent. In my church, the youth actually tend to take the lead on the discussion and observance of Lent. Their media fast during Lent last year actually gave me the idea of "fasting" from Facebook this year. In past years, I have been more likely to add a spiritual discipline during Lent, rather than give something up.

For me, Lent is about preparing for the re-birth and renewal of the Resurrection. As Easter approaches, I like to take inventory of where I am in my journey with the Lord. What is working as I seek to hear His voice and see His glory in my day to day life? What gets in the way of me seeing Him at work? My experience tells me that where there is lack of peace in my life, it is there that there may also be a lack of obedience. What spiritual disciplines bring His will and word into greater focus...prayer, study, sabbath rest, worship, fellowship? And where have I blurred that vision with distractions that draw my gaze elsewhere? Am I missing opportunities to be a blessing because I am rushing through my life with my spiritual eyes shut?

As I consider those questions, I naturally had to consider how I use my time. Because I do not work outside the home, I have a large degree of flexibility in how I plan my days. Taking care of my family, fulfilling my volunteer obligations, serving in my church, spending time with friends can all be done in the order and with the priority that I choose. Because of that, I often find myself "working" without any clear deadlines. It is awfully easy for me to get distracted by things that, if I thought about it, are not a priority for me. And that brings us back to Facebook.

Facebook, FOR ME, is a huge time waster (re-read my first paragraph if that statement causes your to feel defensive or protective of FB.) FOR ME, much of what I do on Facebook is useless. While I love connecting with my friends, I have to honestly admit that 75% of the time that I am logged into my Facebook account is primarily a vehicle for procrastination...again, FOR ME.  Checking the FB newsfeed numerous times a day has become a habit that is no longer about community or connection, but rather a way of putting off folding the laundry, paying the bills or other mundane tasks that I may be putting off. And FOR ME, that procrastination contributes to me feeling too busy, too rushed, and spread too thin when that really isn't the case at all. So time management is one reason I am taking a break from Facebook.

The second reason is really more important. FB, FOR ME, can serve as a shortcut for my attempts to meet really important needs in my life...ways in which I take care of my emotional and spiritual well-being. Because I don't work in an office and my kids are gone all day, I am alone a great deal of the day. I have my afternoons at the Lamb Center and occasional meetings with church committees or school obligations, but I spend a lot of time alone. Alone is good...sometimes. I think sometimes I go on Facebook to connect to friends and find fellowship when what I really need to do is call a friend to meet for coffee or lunch. FOR ME, it is like being really hungry and choosing to eat a candy bar instead of sitting down for a healthy meal...it satiates the hunger for the short term, but it doesn't really provide much nutrition.   Yes, FB can be part of community, but it can't become a substitute for community. It is a shortcut, a quick fix for my need to connect to friends, for my need to share my thoughts through my writing, for my need to see into my children's world. Disconnecting from FB for a while is my way of choosing to do my connecting face to face during this Lenten season. Face to face with my family, face to face with my friends, face to face with myself through more writing, and face to face with God through more study and prayer.

My blog automatically posts to FB, so many of you may actually be reading my ramblings on FB and I love that!! And I still get all my FB email updates, so I am not completely cut off. I would love to hear your thoughts or comments about your relationship with Facebook...what are the good things you get from Facebook and what are the not-so-good things? Also, what are the ways that you observe Lent that you find most meaningful?

To Him be the Glory

2010-02-04T23:23:25-05:00

I started my day buying two cartloads of groceries in preparation for the BIG storm headed our way. Apparently, we are expecting 16-24 inches of snow over the weekend...which means I am expecting my whole family to be hanging around AND anticipating roving tribes of hungry teenagers to end up at my house! Feed them and they will come. :-) The grocery store was crazy, they were out of a number of things, but I kept running into friends and it was actually a fairly festive atmosphere.

As I unloaded the obscene amount of groceries that I had purchased, I was mulling over in my mind my topic for bible study this afternoon. As many of you know, I study the bible with my friends at the Lamb Center every Tuesday and most Thursday afternoons. The Lamb Center is a day shelter for the homeless and many of my bible study friends have very little in the way of worldly possessions...most will sleep tonight in the local Hypothermia Shelter provided during the winter months by local area churches. With the upcoming storm on all of our minds, I decided to see what scripture had to say about shelter and refuge. As expected, I found some wonderful words of hope in the book of Psalms.

On the way to the Lamb Center, I had the opportunity to spend an hour with one of my favorite people. This dear friend is one of the most brilliant, funny, compassionate people that I have ever had the privilege to know. We speak a similar language and our hearts are tuned to a similar song. She is experiencing some challenges right now. Although my offering was simply a listening ear, I was blessed to share some tears and some laughter with her, connected by our common belief that God doesn't intend for us to stay stuck in the hard places and that our way out will be illuminated when we reach out our hand and choose not to walk this rocky path alone. As I left, my eyes filled with tears as I offered prayers of gratitude for the privilege of this friendship and God's presence in the midst of it.

At the Lamb Center, I was once again humbled and amazed at the palpable sense of God's presence around our table. The words we found in scripture reminded us that, regardless of our present circumstances, our refuge is in God alone. We went around the table and shared stories about the times when we experienced God as our refuge, our shelter, our fortress. As always, I was touched by the insight and depth of my fellow sojourners' revelations and by the faithfulness God had shown to each one who shared their story. My favorite moment came when we were discussing Psalm 46. One of the best known verses from the Psalm is verse 10 "Be still and know that I am God." As we discussed the ways in which God invites us to "be still," my friend J. says he hears God speak those words into his spirit in this way; "Sit down, boy. I got this!" We all loved that! Being a southern lady, I decided the Lord would be more likely to tell me "Sit down, darlin'. I got this!" Nothing like a gentle reminder about who is God...and who is NOT God!

At the end of our bible study time, we move into a time of prayer. Our prayer time is always meaningful, but today was especially moving as a number of people lifted up their heartfelt gratitude for the ways in which God has shown Himself to be their refuge and their rock. Truly, I can only remember a few other times when I felt the Presence of the Lord as strongly as I did today as we prayed together. I fought back tears throughout the prayer time and exchanged hugs with many of the bible study participants as we talked afterwards about what a powerful time of worship we had experienced around that table together. As I was leaving, my dear friend P. ran in to tell me that she was sorry that she had missed bible study. She and her husband have recently become homeless again after a layoff, yet she has the most beautiful spirit of joy and completely trusts that God has them right where He wants them to be and will sustain them until they are able to find housing again. They feel that they can really minister to others at the hypothermia shelter while they are in these circumstances and had run to their storage unit to get some movies for the upcoming snowy weekend. She hugged me and said not to worry, they were doing just fine. The tears returned as I drove home...not tears of sadness, although I am certainly concerned about my friends in this weather...but rather tears of gratitude for the privilege of witnessing God at work so powerfully.

Back home again, I was thinking about writing a blog entry about this deep sense I felt today of God's hand at work in the lives of myself and my friends. How blessed and humbled I feel when He opens my eyes and whispers in my ear "I am here" or reminds me that I can rest in the knowledge that He has it all under control...both in my life and in the lives of those I love. For some reason, today I just felt so grateful that I needed to share it.

As I thought about this and considered what I wanted to say, I had occasion to talk to my mom in Texas. She works in a charity thrift store once a week...a place like our local WFCM Clothes Closet that provides low or no cost clothing for those in need. She told me the most amazing story, starting with the prayer she prayed on her way there today. She asked God to give her the opportunity to really connect to the people who came in to the store, a prayer that she would have the opportunity to offer more than just clothing. I'm not sure if she realized it, but God answers this prayer in the affirmative every day of her life. He wired her that way...she has the most amazing gift of making people around her feel special. In her presence, people feel that they are truly loved. On this day, she was simply offering up herself and asking to be used by God...and God said YES!

A women came in the store and my mom remembered her from a previous visit. She greeted her by name and they began talking. While the lady looked at clothing, she shared about her life and experience with my mom...a difficult life that God had redeemed in a number of amazing ways. Eventually, she shared that she had recently auditioned for "America: You've Got Talent" and done quite well. With that information, my mom asked her to sing for them. As the store was fairly empty, my mom's new friend obliged. They were all blessed by her beautiful voice and, as she was singing, they looked up to see another regular volunteer enter the store. She joined them as the lady finished her song. The newest member of the audience immediately asked for the singer's name and number, explaining that she ran a talent agency and would love to help her continue to pursue her singing! They all marveled at God's providence and the unlikely "coincidence" that led to this woman singing at that moment in that little store surrounded by these new, encouraging friends. They were so moved by this series of events, that they decided to join together in prayer right then and praise God for His grace. My mom said she has never felt closer to the Lord in her life than she did standing in that store praying with this former stranger and giving God all the glory for the work He had done and was doing in the lives of this group of women from very different backgrounds. As my mom told me this story, I found myself with tears running down my face once again, humbled and grateful for yet another reminder of how God lives right smack in the middle of how we show love to one another.

An amazing day! For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen!

Undefiled Worship

2010-01-28T19:00:27-05:00

This is my new favorite song. We saw this video at church a couple of weeks ago. Our guest preacher for the morning was Pastor Pat from New Hope Fellowship and she brought this video to share with us. New Hope is a small congregation that meets in a community center and is comprised primarily of homeless and formerly homeless men, women and children. The church provides transportation to the church and a hot meal after the service. Many of the New Hope folks also spend time at the Lamb Center, the day shelter for the homeless where I spend several hours a week. Because Pastor Pat was speaking at our church that Sunday, we invited her congregation to join us for worship and lunch. It was a joy for me to greet some of my friends from the Lamb Center and worship side by side with them in our church home. I was so thrilled to see our church reach out and support the work that Pastor Pat at New Hope and Dave L. from the Lamb Center are doing in our community and to offer Holy hospitality to these brothers and sisters...the church being The Church. It was truly a blessed day and this video brought tears to my eyes. Enjoy!!

Why Do I Write?

2010-01-28T18:38:57-05:00

For my faithful readers, both of you, you may have noticed that I have not been blogging lately. I keep thinking that I will start blogging again when I figure out something profound to say...that assumes, of course, that I have EVER had anything profound to say or that the purpose here was ever to BE profound! :-) I have had many posts rattling around in my head, but then they never really form with enough urgency to propel me to the computer to write it all down. Sometimes, I think of something about which I could write, but then I think that it really isn't all that interesting after all this time away. It seems amazing, after almost 5 years blogging, that I have not blogged this whole year...all 29 days of it!

Although I haven't been posting any thoughts here, I have recently returned to the habit of writing out my prayers. I find that I can focus my thoughts...empty out the noise...when I write out prayers once a day. When I have run out of words, it is then that I listen best. It also serves as a reminder of the names and issues for which I have been praying so that I can look back and see how God has been at work all around me.  If I have learned anything so far on this journey it is that God is always at work; it is my job to notice and say thank you!

So, in my prayers, I have shared with God my desire to write and asked that He guide me in that writing...show me where He can use my words to accomplish His purposes, if that is part of His plan. I originally began to blog because I couldn't keep my thoughts to myself...I felt compelled to share and hoped that the discipline of writing in this particular format would help me find an outlet for those thoughts and prayed that my words might somehow encourage somebody else along the way. For several years, God affirmed my pursuit through constant inspiration and the occasional feedback that, strangely enough, my words here were indeed of some earthly use to some of my readers. Sometimes, that "fan" of my writing was even someone other than my mom!

So what happened? Has the season for my blog ended? Have I become too self-critical of my writing? Do I censor my thoughts to such a degree that I have nothing left to say? Or has God begun to give me other outlets for sharing the ways that I see Him at work? Other ways of sharing myself...pouring myself out in pursuit of the Kingdom? Perhaps a combination of all or some of the above?

I guess these are the questions that I am wrestling with now. Why blog? In the greater scheme of things, does my little blog contribute anything positive to the universe besides serving as a creative outlet for me? And if it is just a creative outlet for me, perhaps that is enough? Perhaps that gives me permission to not say anything of any substance at all or to accidentally say something that matters to someone else.

So, as I mentioned before, I have been talking about all this with God. Best I can tell, since He has not given me a burning bush or engraved stone tablet, He says "just write!" That's all...kind of like the Nike commercial...just do it! Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, don't even worry about what I think about what I write...just write! So, here it is, me writing....we'll see what happens next!

Hell Week

2009-11-17T22:11:04-05:00

We are deeply immersed in the wonderful world of theatre this week in my house. Both of my teenage daughters are in the final week of rehearsal for their middle school and high school plays, affectionately known by the kids as "hell week." On top of their regular school day and homework, they are each spending 4-6 hours every day after school in rehearsal. Both girls have done a number of plays in the past, but this weekend is particularly exciting because they each have roles with a bit more responsibility and time in the "spotlight" than they have had in previous shows. My younger daughter in particular has been rehearsing for this show since mid-September and has put in untold hours both on and off the stage in preparation for this weekend. It is exhausting and exhilarating and has everyone running on adrenaline to some degree.

Simply, perhaps a bit selfishly, I love it. I volunteer a fair amount with the middle school productions and I have been somewhat obsessed myself this week with all the last minute concerns.  Because of my involvment in a variety of production details, I have the joy of hanging around rehearsals sometimes. As I have said before on this blog, I love theatre kids. They are quirky and smart, creative and playful, exhuberant and demonstrative. Unlike many of their peers, they don't see conformity as the primary purpose of their existence. Through their participation in these productions, these kids are learning so many fabulous like skills; teamwork, risk-taking, comfort with being up in front of people, the experience of putting themselves in someone else's shoes and imagining how they might feel in a given situation, insight into human nature and what makes something funny or touching or inspiring, the responsibility of being in the spotlight while still being unselfish and generous with your fellow actors/ teammates, taking direction from an authority figure who has the big picture in mind that you might not be able to see, and the value and privilege of creating something that brings joy and happiness to others. As I said, I love this process and I'm thrilled my kids have found this place to spend their passion for this season of their life.

I was having a conversation with my eldest last night about how she was handling the stress of having so much to do this week. I have asked both my kids repeatedly, "is all the hard work worth it?" Both have answered with a resounding yes each and every time. While I absolutely believe I have to guard against my kids being over-scheduled and stressed out, I also believe that there are valuable lessons to be learned with a time-limited period of stress-producing, hard work. Really good things come from hard work. Championship teams or fabulous shows, extraordinary works of art or meaningful acts of service all require us to pour ourselves out and, to some degree, use ourselves up. If we feel passionate about something, if we really care about something, if we lose ourselves in creating something bigger than ourselves...we are really alive. And that is a good thing.

One of my favorite songs has a line in it that says "the Glory of God is man fully alive." Isn't it the best feeling to lose track of time doing something you truly love doing? Living in a moment so fully that I temporarily forget my obsession with what has been left undone or what needs doing next?   Having fun...real fun, while pouring myself into a creative process that taps into one of the gifts that my Creative Creator has poured into me? Perhaps, in the process, even connecting with other human beings in ways that cause me to celebrate our common humanity instead of focusing on those things that divide us.

Yes, hell week is stressful. Yes, hell week is hard work. Yes, the pressure is scary and the hours are long. In spite of all that, I think my girls are having the time of their lives and on opening night (or opening day) hell week will be transformed into a little taste of Heaven.

"The Glory of God is man fully alive." It inspires me to have a few more "hell weeks" in my life as well.

Thoughts on Simplicity from Richard Foster

2009-10-23T12:23:13-04:00

We are doing an adult education class on Sunday mornings based on the Christian classic Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard Foster. I initially read this book in June and I have really enjoyed spending time going back through it more slowly with friends. Each week, we discuss one chapter and this week's focus is the spiritual discipline of Simplicity.

As I prepare for class each week, I have been using a study guide also written by Richard Foster. Here is a very thought-provoking excerpt from this week's entry in the study guide:

Simplicity is openness, unselfconsciousness, naturalness. It is the opposite of subtlety, cunning, duplicity. Where simplicity abounds, words can be taken at face value: there is no hidden agenda. Simplicity frees us from the tyranny of the self, the tyranny of things, and the tyranny of people.

The self clamors for attention, self-recognition, applause. Through artful deception, it appears to be younger, wiser, richer, saintlier than is actually the case.

Confront and challenge the tyranny of the self with the following questions:

Am I pretending to be an expert where I am only an amateur?
Do I really read the books I quote?
Do I use rhetoric as a curtain to conceal my true intentions?
Do I give the impression of being more godly (or more profane, whichever will give more status in the group) than I truly am?
Do I try to impress people with my degrees, titles or honors?

Simplicity also prevails against the tyranny of things. Out of fear that others might discover who we are, we create an artificial world of ostentatious display, extravagant ornamentation, and pretentious style.

Rebuke the tyranny of things with the following questions:

Am I living contentedly within my income?
Do I act my age?
Am I a compulsive buyer?
Do I try to impress people with gadgets?
Do I buy what I can afford and what my responsibility to the poor suggests?

Finally, there is the tyranny of people. What horrendous guymnastics we will put ourselves through just to insure that others will have a good opinion of us. How desperately and sincerely we labor to create the right impression. Instead of becoming good, we resort to all sorts of devices to make people think we are good.

Joyfully attack the tyranny of people with the following questions:

Can I allow an unfavorable comment about myself to stand, without any need to straighten out the matter?
In recounting events, do I shift the story ever so slightly to make myself appear in a more favorable light?
Must I always make excuses for my behaviour?
Do I aim at excellence in my work without regard for what people may say or think?
Can I accept compliments freely without any need to shrug them off in self-conscious modesty?

Only the simple are free. All others are tyrannized by the ambitious self, the demand for recognition through things, and a preoccupation with the opinions of others. Francois Fenelon declared, "Simplicity is an uprightness of soul which prevents self-consciousness. Verily such simplicity is a treasure!"

Comments, thoughts, insights on these words from Foster? What do you think? What does simplicity mean to you? Is there value in simplicity? How does it work in an increasingly complicated world?