ideal

My blog has moved!

Susan Hyatt — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:52:13 PST

My blog has moved! You'll find all of these posts and more at http://ideallifedesign.com/blog.

Come visit me there!

Half Marathon, Full Heart

Susan Hyatt — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 10:33:44 PDT

Running Newbie

“Just run Susan.”

I started running in May, after an 18-year running hiatus. One sunny afternoon in May, while I was power walking and listening to my girl Pink on the iPod, something happened. I heard myself say, “Just run Susan.” So I started to run and was fascinated that it felt great. I wasn’t bribing myself to work out. I hadn’t put it in my planner that I would run. But, here I was, running and liking it. Me! A former junk food junkie was running.

I ran as far as I could that day, and it turned out to be a mile and a half. Within a week I was running three miles, and within a month my friend Jill asked me to train with her for a half marathon. I decided that I would continue to LISTEN TO MY BODY. As long as it felt good, I was game. Plus, I liked the cute running skirts.

Training

“Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.”
William Faulkner

The weeks leading up to the marathon were challenging. Each week, we added a mile to our long runs on Saturdays. And every Friday, I would remind myself, “You can do this.” Because with any goal in life, if your mind is not lined up with your body, don’t even bother. It will suck. Every weekend I was so enormously proud to burst in the front door and announce to my family, “I did it! 6 (7, 8, 9, 10) miles!” (Caffeine + runners high can be annoying for others who are just waking up on a weekend morning.)

The longer runs reinforced staying in the present moment for me. I would remind myself, “Susan, Stay In The Mile That You Are In!” If I thought too far ahead about how many miles were left, I could get overwhelmed and the run would be harder. If I thought about how many miles I had run, I started feeling tired. I learned to take each mile, one at a time, and dedicate that mile to a topic, person, gratitude, and appreciation for the scenery around me. It’s a great tool to use when I am not running. Stay with the present moment.

The Big Day

“You have a choice. You can throw in the towel,
or you can use it to wipe the sweat off of your face.”
Gatorade

I have to admit that from the moment I arrived at the event, I was a mixture of off-the-charts excitement and choking back sentimental tears. Here I was, looking official with a number pinned on my running clothes, standing with 2200+ runners, all brought together by a common desire to run. I looked at the sea of athletes and I thought, this is what it’s all about isn’t it? Showing up for yourself. How many successes in life are about just showing up and taking the first step? And here were 2200 of like-minded people, at 7am on a freezing 42-degree October morning, ready to go. I was overwhelmed.

I had intended on spending each mile thinking about new projects and family and friends that I love. But what I experienced instead during this half marathon nearly brought me to my knees. It was a Church service that I have never experienced inside of a church. It was, quite simply, the closest that I have ever been to experiencing the Divine.

This is what I witnessed. Perfect strangers bundled up and standing along railroad tracks and busy roads to wave and cheer on us runners. Freezing volunteers handing out water and orange slices. Local musicians donating their time to stand on street corners to fill the air with music to keep us going. Cheerleaders with pom poms. Dancers getting their groove on to entertain us as we raced by. Families holding signs of encouragement. An 86-year-old man rockin the race--evidence that it is NEVER too late.Runners coaching each other to the finish line.

The Finish

“All it takes is all you got.” Marc Davis

As I kicked it into high gear during the last mile, I marinated in the lyrics of a Jennifer Lopez song, "Let’s Get Loud":

If you want to live your life
Live it all the way and don’t you waste it
Every feeling, every beat can be so very sweet
You got to taste it, you got to do it
You got to do it your way

I left it all on the pavement. I was like a little kid again, crossing that finish line and collecting my Half Marathon medal. Big cheesy grin, full heart, showing love for myself and this amazing miracle of a human body.

It never would have happened if I wasn’t willing to listen to my inner voice. Listen to that little voice that encourages you to pick up something new. Running, dancing, sculpting, writing, knitting, scrap booking. Whatever the interest, DO IT. Show up, stay in the present moment, be grateful, and thank me later. Let’s Get Loud!

Special thanks:

Thank you to my Facebook friends who offered me encouragement, kudos, running advice and cheered me on virtually.

Thank you to the little girl in the red flannel pajama pants with the golden retriever who looked at me during mile 7 and said, “You go girl.”

Thank you to the Hadi Shriners who dressed in their kilts and played bag pipes, banged on drums, and clapped for us as we ran by.

Thank you to the little old lady with the ukulele on the side of the road playing her fingers off and smiling.

Thank you to the water station sponsors, who passed out cups of water and orange slices while shouting good job to me.

Thank you to the school band and flag team.

Thank you to the bundled up women wearing cowboy hats and ringing bells!

Thank you to the fierce motorcycle enthusiasts who wore their chaps and jeans along with their marathon volunteer tee shirts and directed traffic. You guys rock.

Thank you to the YMCA volunteers who stood at every mile marker and said, “Good Job!”

Thank you to the little kids at the train tracks who high fived me as I ran by. I’ve never felt more like a rock star.

Thank you to the perfect strangers who stood along the route wrapped on blankets and sipped coffee while shouting and cheering for us.

Thank you to my friend Jill, my running partner, who came out to cheer me on even though she was not racing.

Thank you to my new friend Francis, who made me coffee, drove to the event, showed me where to go and gave me expert running tips.

Thank you to my husband Scott who stood at the finish line with a camera, Gatorade, flowers and a big cheesy grin.

Thank you to my son Ryan, who stood in the cold with his dad when he would rather be playing video games.

Thank you to my daughter Emily, who wanted to leave her big camp weekend early to see me cross the finish line. Next time, Em.

I am forever grateful.

I Choose Innovate Over Replicate

Susan Hyatt — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 06:38:17 PDT

"So, you want me to change my thoughts and think that it is OK for my psycho boss to treat me like dirt?"

I get comments like this all the time from clients who are brand new to thought work. Changing your thoughts does not mean that you become a wimp. It does not mean that you trick yourself into believing that a negative circumstance is all peachy and fresh as summer sunshine. It means that you do not BECOME the negative situation, as my mentor Brooke Castillo would say.

A personal example...

Last night I was surfing the Internet. I found a program called Copyscape. For free, it allows you to enter your web site address into a search window, and it will scrub the net and report back to you within seconds if content from your web site is used other places. So I did it. Guess what? A coach in Chicago, who is on my mailing list, is using my new web site content, word for word. I am not talking just a few paragraphs here. Almost her entire web site, her "about me" section, her coaching programs, all of it (except for a few references to cake) is my writing. With her photo.

My short freak out included thoughts like:

She is stealing my hard work.
This is not right.
What a slimy weasel (no offense to Ryan and Emily's new pet ferrets).
I can't believe this.
How DARE she!
Oh no she di'int! (Clearly, she did.)

Would most of you agree that plagiarism is not right? Sure. I've got a thread on Facebook to prove it. But, I knew if I wanted to feel better, I needed to get to work and replace these thoughts that felt extremely icky.

Thanks to my pal Jackie Gartman, this is what I came up with:

No one can steal my work. Not really.
My web site copy is just a compilation of words. My real work is my truth, my energy and my light. That comes from within and backs up what I say on my site.

And, thanks to my new Facebook and Twitter friend Patti Digh--who had her writing plagiarized on the net and wrote a beautiful article about it--I remembered that being authentic, and being yourself is its own reward. It must not feel very good to need to use someone else's work as your own.

Now, I am sure you are wondering what is next. What am I going to "do" about it. This is where is gets good. Because I have cleaned up my thoughts, I can now take action from a very calm and peaceful place. I can stand up for myself in an organized and powerful way now that my thinking is not clouded with ick. It feels good to take action from a clean place.

What can you do when something negative happens?

What you are thinking about the situation?
Does it feel good or bad? Write down the thoughts that feel bad.
Notice how you feel when you think them. There is no up side EVER to feeling bad. There is no award for being a victim or martyr. Haven't you noticed?
What can you think instead that you BELIEVE and that also FEELS BETTER?
Rinse and repeat.

I love the Byron Katie question, "Who would you be without that thought?"

I choose to continue to innovate, and not replicate.

Rock on, people!

Should We Toilet Paper Roll A Substitute Teacher's House?

Susan Hyatt — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 14:46:48 PDT

We spend more time teaching our kids to ride bikes, tie their shoes, and brush their teeth than we do the critical skill of HOW TO THINK.

I am sure that the parochial school education that my parents worked so hard to provide me never ever included a lesson that taught me “HEY! You get what you think you’ll get!” And, while my excellent college experience taught me many things, like how to cram a million credits in during your Junior year summer so that you graduate on time, I wasn’t ever challenged to consider that I could change my results by changing what and how I thought about things.

So, one day last week after school, when my usually happy and excited Emily crawled in the car and broke down in tears, I was curious about A. what she was thinking that created her pain, and B. how quickly I could find a culprit to blame and run them over with my SUV. It turned out that Emily experienced a third grade substitute teacher that was not an Emily Hyatt fan. This was a shock to her 9-year-old system and to this feisty mama bear.

So after letting her vent a bit, I noticed that she was not getting over it. And, I was really interested to observe that the conversation that I was having with her was not at all unlike many client session conversations that I have recently had. So, all revenge fantasies aside, I wanted to share some things that I wished I had known in 3^rd grade.

· Everyone does not have to like you. Contrary to the many messages of your upbringing, if you are nice enough, work hard enough, are pretty enough, sweet enough, dazzling enough, etc, it will NOT make people like you. And, further, stop trying so hard to make sure that everyone “likes” you. Everyone will not like you. That’s just how it is. And, it’s a good darned thing. Because when someone doesn’t like you, it just shows you where to go (and it’s not with them.) It helps you to be clear about WHO YOUR PEOPLE ARE. Your tribe. And, of course, your people love you when you like yourself.

· What are you afraid will happen if someone does not like you? This was really interesting to explore with Emily. What was her mind cooking up around this? Not unlike my client’s fears of becoming broke and homeless, Emily was worried that she would miss out on special class privileges, not being called on to answer during class, and being punished for being too chatty. (Just for the record, being chatty is a great talent to have in the real world, thank you very much Mrs. Substitute Teacher.) It’s not that someone does not like you; it’s what you make that mean that causes so much pain. Insert my favorite mantra ever here, “SO WHAT! WHO CARES?” Someone doesn’t like me? Rock on. My tribe just got tighter.

· Resisting what is (oh, gee, someone does not like me, I must try to win them over) and wallowing in dirty pain about it creates a crappy mood and even more of a crappy result. Dwelling on what you do not want only creates more of it. So, after giving Emily the rock star time to cry and vent and mope around the house, I asked her if she wanted me to help her feel better, or let her moan and groan and create more drama. She wanted to feel better. Great. That is the first order of business: Are you are willing to let go of your painful story and do you want to feel better?

· Decide how you want to feel. I revisited thought work with her. What thoughts could she think and believe that would help her feel better whether or not the substitute teacher liked her? What did she like and appreciate about school that would get her excited about the next day (instead of her suggestion that she skip and hang with me). I had her imagine the teacher being as mean and as nasty as possible. Why was this so bad? She could TOTALLY hang with it. No one could touch Thought Warrior Emily if she was marinating in kind thoughts. What did she come up with?

“I like me.” Joy.

“This is only temporary.” Relief.

“I wonder what Mrs. Substitute is thinking that makes her act that way?” Compassion.

If only I knew this material when I thought my only recourse was to toilet paper roll nasty teacher’s houses. Oops.

Queen Latifah Sings to Me

Susan Hyatt — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:16:09 PDT

Queen Latifah, Nelly and Colbie Callait take turns coaching me when I run. I’ve been running now for about 5-6 months and am training for a half marathon in October. This is big news and a magnificent obsession in my life. Great discovery: the “runner’s high” does exist and is a fun byproduct of taking care of myself. When I am not running with my kick ass friend Jill, I turn on my ipod to make my run even more fun. That’s where my celebrity posse enters and I borrow lines from their music to create motivating thoughts for myself.

Notice that I said, “create motivating thoughts.'

Motivation will not knock on your door and come snuggle in bed with you. It will not tap you on the shoulder and invite you to get up off of the couch. It will not interrupt your gossip session to remind you that you have an appointment with yourself. It can only be found within you. Motivation is a feeling state that you create yourself.

It’s the coolest thing to realize that you can create any feeling state that you want your very own self. Happiness, peace, calm, exhilaration, confidence, passion. And, it doesn’t even matter if your brother just punked you on Facebook, or if your cat peed on your fresh dry cleaning. You get to decide what you will feel. How? Two questions:

How do you want to feel?

What would you need to think and then do to feel that way?

Yesterday I wanted to feel motivated to run. My mind created lots of excuses as to why running was not a good idea: you do not have enough time, it is too hot, you can wait until tomorrow, your favorite running skirt is dirty.

I laughed.

And then I decided that I would think this instead: your body wants to move, there is always enough time, it is hot but I can handle it, my second favorite running skirt is clean.

And then, I called on my celebrity running posse and let them sing motivating songs to me.

Read these lyrics and see if you agree that I couldn’t help but leave it all on the pavement with this running though my head.

Something Special by Colbie Callait

I found a way to be everything
I've dreamed of,
and I know it's in me
that I will become
who I want to be
and I finally found it and I'm taking the long way out
Cause it's going to be, something special to me
Something special to me

Days go by
and I grow stronger
It takes time, but I'll never let go
Days go by and I'll try harder to make it mine, I know...
Something special to me
Something special to me
Something special to me

I've found
so many things
I've dreamed of
and I know it's in me
that I will become
who I want to be
and I finally found it and I am taking the long way out
Cause it's gonna to be,
something special to me
Something special to me
Something Special lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/English/43145-Something-Special~Colbie-Caillat.html
Days go by and I grow stronger
It takes time, but I'll never let go
Days go by and I'll try harder to make it mine, I know...
It's something special to me

More than I hoped for
More than I dreamed of
This is how it should be.
More than I hoped for
More than I dreamed of
This is how it should be.

What are you listening to?

Living and Dying

Susan Hyatt — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 14:09:24 PDT

I am not afraid to die. This realization hit me reading a great book by Gene O’Kelly called Chasing Daylight, How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life. The author was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor and writes this little gem during the last 90 days of his life. It is a memoir about a successful man who at the moment of discovering he is dying, decides to live.

O’Kelly writes about living in the present moment for his final 90 days. He noticed the simplest things that he had been too busy to observe climbing the corporate ladder: a bird flying in the sky, the sound of water in a stream, real conversations with people that he loved. He called these times “perfect moments.”

The concept of a Perfect Moment and O’Kelly’s story struck a chord with me. Being in the present moment can be tricky for me. I’m someone who doesn’t care much about the past, but I’ll invest buckets of time in the future. Ideas and plans excite me. And, sometimes, I’ll plan to the extent that I miss the fun right in front of me. I work on this. Daily.

I decided after reading Chasing Daylight, that I would take a new approach to staying in the present moment and created a simple coaching tool by the same name in honor of the author.

Create A Perfect Moment

1. Stop-Once an hour, be intentional and stop what you are doing.

2. Breathe-Take three or more deep breathes.

3. Observe-Look around at what is happening in your surroundings and find something to appreciate for 60 seconds.

4. Gratitude-Marinate in what you are appreciating. Really see it, smell it, hear it, taste it.

Isn’t that fun? Here’s what I’ve noticed. Perfect Moments are happening all of the time. You just have to take off your busy glasses and open your perfect moment eyes to see them. Brushing my daughter’s hair. Watching my crazy beagles wrestle. Really tasting a delicious slice of strawberry pie. Laughing at the crazy fat squirrel that barks at me all the time. These are perfect moments.

Living this way, drinking in all that this life has to offer, keeps me centered in a way that does not allow a fear of living or dying to have a place in me.

Girl Interrupted

Susan Hyatt — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:03:00 PDT

There’s an insane patient in your head and she needs a nap.

I am being very serious.

Are you listening to what you are telling yourself? Have you eavesdropped on the crazy conversation in your head? If you do not have what you want in your life, I guarantee that your thoughts are sabotaging what you say you want.

Just yesterday I was coaching a bright, energetic, lovely client who says that she wants to lose 50 pounds more than anything. But, when I asked her if she believed that she was capable of actually losing the weight, she meekly replied, “No.”

Do you believe that you will succeed? Do you think that you can do it? If not, I’m very sorry, but you won’t. It’s just that simple. It all starts with a belief. Look no further than the insane patient’s rants to figure out why you don’t seem to be able to work on your business, lose the muffin top or feel happy.

You are free to create exactly what you want….and allow in something even better. How? Follow this simple FREE process:

F- Find the insane patient’s belief that is not serving you. “You’ll never pull that off,” or “Who do you think you are trying to do that, “ or even “There’s way too much on your plate to consider that,” are examples.

R- Reduce your suffering by replacing the thought. As you are watching your thoughts, ask Girl Interrupted to have a seat. Pivot your attention toward a positive thought that you believe and that makes you feel better.

E- Encourage yourself to take one tiny step toward the result that you want.

E- Enjoy life without the mental drama. Keep the patient well rested, well fed, and have some fun.

By practicing this FREE technique, the obstacles melt, opportunities show up and brilliant you get to taste your surprise center.

Yummo!

Weight Loss for Smart Women...join the revolution

Susan Hyatt — Fri, 29 May 2009 13:11:07 PDT

Eight-Week Telecourse with Brooke Castillo and Susan Hyatt

"End your diet war and achieve thinner peace."
~Martha Beck

Wednesdays, June 17- August 5, 2009
10am Pacific | 11am Mountain | 12pm Central | 1pm Eastern
All classes are 60 minutes

Have you tried everything and still struggle with losing weight? Lose the drama and the weight. In eight weeks, learn the most effective weight loss tools on the planet from Martha Beck's "The Four Day Win" and Brooke Castillo's "If I'm So Smart Why Can't I Lose Weight?" methodologies. It's thinner peace.

June 17 -- Pre-Contemplation and 4 Days at a Time (Susan)
June 24 -- Eating Tools (Brooke)
July 1 -- Contemplation and The Watcher, The Dictator and The Wild Child (Susan)
July 8 -- Feeling Tools (Brooke)
July 15 -- Preparation and Action (Susan)
July 22 -- Belief Tools (Brooke)
July 29 -- Keeping the Momentum and Maintenance(Susan)
August 5 -- Future Focus Tools (Brooke)

Can't make one or more of those dates? No problem. All participants will receive an mp3 recording of each session.

All 8 sessions, including mp3 recordings, for just $99!

Register here.

Questions? Please contact Support@MarthaBeck.com.

"If you want a diet, I am not your woman. If you want a personal revolution, join me."
~Susan Hyatt

I have learned first hand how to apply Master Coach Brooke Castillo's ground breaking tools. I can help you do the same.

I am a weight loss coach with virtually no interest in how many calories you eat or how many sit ups you do. I am solely interested in finding the limiting thoughts that you think that drive your patterns of behavior, and helping you get rid of them. There are a million diet programs that will tell you how to eat and how to move. I will teach you how to think. And from that place, you will find freedom that will not only feel lighter, but will create new patterns of behavior that will make you literally lighter in the process.

See my story here.

All 8 sessions with mp3 recordings for just $99!

Register now!

You are Brilliant -- and the Earth is Hiring

Susan Hyatt — Wed, 20 May 2009 09:12:30 PDT

A great post at the blog site of CharityFocus.org --

Paul Hawken (friend of CharityFocus, entrepreneur, environmental activist, and author) delivered the 2009 Commencement Address to the Class of 2009 at the University of Portland.

"There is invisible writing on the back of the diploma you will receive, and in case you didn’t bring lemon juice to decode it, I can tell you what it says: YOU ARE BRILLIANT, AND THE EARTH IS HIRING. The earth couldn’t afford to send any recruiters or limos to your school. It sent you rain, sunsets, ripe cherries, night blooming jasmine, and that unbelievably cute person you are dating. Take the hint. And here’s the deal: Forget that this task of planet-saving is not possible in the time required. Don’t be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see if it was impossible only after you are done."

Read his entire speech. You just might be as inspired by it as I!

The Mother of All Mothers

Susan Hyatt — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:46:02 PDT

“If my husband doesn’t take the kids to get me something nice this year for Mother’s Day, I’m going on strike!”

“No one appreciates everything that I do around here.”

OUCH.

Celebrating Motherhood on Mother’s Day brought up a lot of icky thoughts for my clients. Several of my clients and friends emailed me and posted on Facebook that they were having a hard time with Mother’s Day. They were so irritated that they just wanted to be left alone.

Mothering as defined by Webster’s Dictionary: “The nurturing and raising of a child or children by a mother.”

Interesting.

Notice that this definition does not include always doing the laundry all by yourself, waiting on your children and partner like a short-order cook, putting all of your interests on the back burner, no time for exercise, or wearing mom jeans. (Seriously, do something about that.)

I cannot tell you how much mental energy I’ve wasted in the past creating some pretty stiff criteria for my family and friends to follow so that I could be happy. My mood was dependent on how well they followed my “life manual.”

It will be a great holiday if they buy me the “right” gift
Dinner will be fun if the kids behave
He should tell me that I look nice
I’ll do them a favor but they better reciprocate

Exhausting.

Something shifted for me some time ago (i.e., my thoughts) when I realized that if I kept waiting for other people to behave the way that I wanted before I could be happy, I was setting myself up for chronic cranky pants days.

So in response to my clients, I emailed them back, “Mother yourself.” I really mean this. Don’t wait for kids and partners and husbands and sisters to tell you that you are a great mom in order to feel good. Give yourself a high five and think of ways to nurture yourself.

Where are you on your priority list?

What can you do for yourself that is fun this week?

When was the last time you went out with friends?

What can you eliminate from your to-do list?

Who can help you with chores and errands?

Are you good company for yourself?

This is exactly how I changed my mind, the way that I treat myself, and my need for other people and external sources to give me joy. I went ahead and gave it to myself, and what they offered was the cherry on top….not the entire sundae.

Self love. The mother of all mothers.