SuccessISMs by Kevin Riles

The World Keeps Movin' so LIVE NOW...

2008-08-24T20:14:13-04:00

The World Keeps Movin' so Live Now!

That's what my five year old told me in the car the other day. You see she is at the stage where she is trying to figure things out. Lately she has had a lot of questions about heaven and God. "Daddy", she'll ask," Where do we go when we leave earth?" So of course I tell her heaven. Then in that five year old wisdom she says," The World will keep movin' when we die." The father in me wanted to tell her yes but we will be missed and our family & friends will always remember us. Now I know that's true but I did realize that she was right, the world keeps movin' after we die. Family and friends will be remiss and certainly be sad but day after day, month after month their lives will have to keep moving. So my five year old daughter made me realize we need to LIVE NOW!

Don't take life for granted! Live for your happiness now. If you are sitting there unhappy in your current life situation you have a duty to yourself to LIVE NOW! Don't live for yesterday when you were disappointed by someone you love or you lost your job. Don't live for tomorrow when you MAY get the new promotion or when you finally take that vacation. LIVE NOW! Live for the moment. Start the process of finding your calling today! Look for your new career now. Start your spiritual journey right now.

My grandmother says that you know not the time nor the hour when you will be called home to the great beyond. If that's the case I choose to LIVE NOW!

God Bless,

Kevin

Sometimes you Need a New Pair of Glasses

2008-08-12T18:13:42-04:00

Sometimes you Need a New Pair of Glasses!

I did. About 10 years ago I found out that my site was starting to fail from looking at computer screens too much. Upon finding this out I was given a prescription, and subsequently purchased, a pair of glasses. I hated them. I thought they were ugly and uncomfortable. However, I could see better. Still though, since I did not like them, I stopped wearing them and eventually lost them. I then tried contacts and although they were definitely better as it pertains to look, I still didn't like them. I hated feeling as though I had something in my eyes. Again I couldn't argue with the fact that I could see better. But again, I stopped wearing them.

Recently I had to give up on trying to look cool and break down and realize that I JUST CAN'T SEE! I decided to purchase as set of glasses. It had been at least 5 years since I had worn glasses OR contacts. Nevertheless, I had to admit that I just couldn't see as well anymore. As I walked into the store and had quite a bit of anxiety from my past experience of not liking the way glasses looked or felt on me. As the clerk handed me my new set of glasses I said to myself,"Here I go again with another pair of glasses that I will not wear". But something different happened this time. When I put them on my vision was so much more clear. I could literally see things I hadn't been able to see for years.

It made me think... It's funny how your perspective can change when you look at something with a "NEW pair of glasses". Take a problem you are having right now in your life; Money, Relationships, Job, Spouse, Children, etc.. Whatever it is, try to look at it in a new way. Maybe you are seeing a problem only because of the way you are looking at it. For Example, if your money is short right now, maybe that's God's way of telling you to budget or to go for that new job and raise. Yet you are so consumed at looking directly at the issue you can't see the blessing behind it. One thing I noticed about putting on new glasses is that it allows me to see things more CLEAR AND FURTHER AWAY! I feel as though I can almost see into the future. Just think of the things I missed for the last 10 years as I tried to go without wearing my glasses. Think of all the disguised blessings you are missing because "you can't see"

Sometimes you need a new pair of Glasses in order to Clearly See the Blessings behind the Problem!

God Bless,

Kevin

All Sickness Ain't Death!

2008-07-27T17:01:59-04:00

All Sickness Ain't Death!

My wife's great Aunt Bay used to say this when things got bad. I never met Aunt Bay but I know what she meant. Just because things go wrong today does not mean they will be wrong tomorrow. As you go throughout your life there will be a lot of times when a string of negative events make you think that your life is "sick". You know the feeling when you got up late for work, you were stuck in traffic, you messed up on that big presentation, your significant other tells you he/she does not know whether is going to work, when you have more month than money(of course all of this happens on the same day!); All of these things are types of "sickness" that we deal with in life.

All Sickness Ain't Death! All of these things we deal with come to pass and we are stronger on the other side. Just like with real sickness our body builds up an immune system, so to do our minds and spirits build up an emotional immune system to handle life's negative events. No matter what the cause is, if the same life event happens again, our minds are able to handle it better the 2nd and/or 3rd time around. In fact, we are not only able to handle it, we are stronger the next time the same event happens.

So the next time you are having one of those days, months, years... Remember what Aunt Bay used to say, "All Sickness Ain't Death!"

God Bless!

Kevin

A Hard Head Makes for a Soft A.. so Follow Your Heart

2008-07-20T23:00:54-04:00

I have always heard the old folks say that a Hard Head Makes for a Soft A.. (you can guess the last word). However, I would like to amend that statement and add, So Follow your heart!

I was recently talking to a good friend who was trying to make career decision. She had been recruited by a potential employer that would have been the perfect career opportunity. Besides, anytime an employer is actively recruiting you that's always a good thing. She went through a couple of rounds of interviews. The job would have been more money, more time with her son, and the possibility of endless advancement. Her head told her that this was the right job to take for a lot of quantitative (money!) and qualitative (time with family) reasons. However, there was only one problem with the job offer: HER HEART

You see our heart is an extension of our internal spirit. We never make the wrong decision when we follow our heart. Yes is sounds sappy," Follow your Heart" but that's what happy and successful people do. They listen to there internal voice. They listen to the call of the divine on their life. Whatever you would like to call it, Listen to that Voice, Listen to the Spirit, Follow my Heart; They all mean the same thing.

When I asked her why she didn't take the job, she simply said my heart told me to stay where she was and follow her passions. I applaud her tenacity. It takes real strength to tell year Head NO and Your Heart Yes.

So the next time you hear the voices of our ancestors saying, "A Hard Head Makes for a Soft A.." Remember to, "Follow your Heart and your Mind will be Free!"

Pride Comes before the Fall

2008-06-16T09:39:17-04:00

As you live longer and pay attention to world and local events, you probably have noticed that there seems to be a consistent stream of negative news concerning our local, regional and national leaders. You cannot turn on the television without being bombarded with a scandal about one of our leaders. I have come to realize that the only difference between people in the spotlight and myself is THE SPOTLIGHT. I am sure that the constant media attention is, while annoying, intoxicating at the same time. Just imagine if a camera followed you around everywhere you went. What if your friends, family and coworkers were constantly being interviewed about your whereabouts, your thoughts and your feelings. I am sure it would be intolerable.

At the same time, you must admit that EVERYONE LIKES ATTENTION. It is a natural Human feeling to want to be noticed and loved. Attention, in our minds, feels like love. The more attention we get the more love/attention we need and want. This type attention starts to corrupt our mind with its allure and the next thing you know, you have become prideful. You feel as though nothing you do or say is wrong. This pride starts to hurt your relationships but you don't notice because of the intoxicating aroma of the attention.

As I was reading my daily scripture recently, I came across Proverbs 16:18, "Pride goes before destruction,and haughtiness before a fall". How true Gods inspired words can be. This scripture gave me comfort in knowing that we all have to be careful of becoming too prideful. We may not be like our leaders on TV and getting the false love called attention but all of us have gone through periods of time where we have let confidence turn into pridefulness. There is nothing wrong with being proud of an accomplishment. However, when you start letting that accomplishment define who and what you are, you run the risk of destroying yourself and all that you accomplished.

So my friends, be careful and remember that PRIDE COMES BEFORE THE FALL.

God Bless,

Kevin

The HAVE TO/WANT TO Principle of Life

2008-05-20T10:05:58-04:00

I am a motivational speaker. I love all things about the spoken word. Words are things to me. Words move mountains, words change lives, words are the essence of being. The use of words was one of the reasons I loved Denzel Washington's movie, The Great Debtors. As a speaker myself, that movie captured how words can change things.

One of the principles presented in the movie was the Have to/Want to principle. The exact principle is, "You do what you HAVE TO do so you can do what you WANT TO do". As the kids would say that's the TRUTH. There are certain parts of our daily lives, our careers, our relationships that feel like drudgery. In fact, there are times when we look at situations and wonder why am I doing this? Why am I doing this paperwork when I hate paperwork? Why am I having to do this or that with my spouse when I don't like doing it? Why? Why? Why? Well the answer most times to the "Why?" question is The HAVE TO/WANT TO Principle. Sometimes in life we literally have to do things that we find boring or insignificant so we can experience the WANT TO part of increasing our income or having a better relationship or having a better life.

The best example I find is in the area of loosing weight. Everyone I know at some point in time wants to loose weight. However, they are not typically successful. Why? They can't get the HAVE TO right. If you want to loose weight you HAVE TO eat right and exercise. If you do those two things you may WANT TO purchase new clothes to show off your new body or go on a island vacation to show off your new body. However, if you can't get past the HAVE TO part you can never get to the WANT TO.

So as you go through your day, week, month, year, life remember that:

YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO SO YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!!

Get In Your Lane!

2008-05-19T10:05:42-04:00

Have you ever been at a point in your life where you find everything extremely difficult? No matter what you try, you run into obstacle after obstacle. You have set your goal to get a certain job or to loose weight or make more money BUT at every turn you are presented with difficulty and strife.

Do you know why this happens? The answer is You are not in your Lane! What I mean is that if you are constantly running into problems trying to accomplish something at some point in time you have to ask if what you are trying to achieve is what GOD intends for you. What I am talking about is finding your calling, finding your lane.

Have you noticed when you are driving somewhere on a long trip that once you find the correct lane on the highway your trip becomes more pleasant. Instead of having to weave in and out of traffic or wait for that person thats driving 10 mph in a 65 mph zone, you find the lane that allows you to cruise to your destination. Recently, I drove 4 hours to get to an event. At the beginning of the drive as I was leaving my city, I was so frustrated. Cars were in the way, people were driving crazy, the pavement beneath my car was rough and loud. It was ridiculous. About an hour into the trip I happened upon a lane on the highway that had very few cars, the pavement was smooth, and the other cars in that lane were moving along at an excellent pace. It suddenly occurred to me that I had finally found the right lane! Immediately my frustration went away, my anxiety level disappeared and my stress about the trip was gone. In fact it became an enjoyable ride!

Isn't life the same way? When we are not in our lane, when we are not in alignment with what God intends for our life, our road is unsteady, we are susceptible to the whims of the things around us. However, when we have found our true calling, when we are in the correct lane, things become easy, our load becomes lite. Every successful and happy person has found their lane. Happiness and Success are found in finding your true calling. The peace that passes all understanding is found in getting in your lane.

As you reflect on this, evaluate where you are in your life. As you reach toward your goals, are things easy (if when you run into obstacles do you feel anchored in what you are trying to accomplish?) or are presented with difficulties at every turn (and those difficulties sway you on your commitment to your goal?). Depending on how you answer this question, you may not be in your lane. Remember to have true fulfillment in life you have to GET IN YOUR LANE!

Time...

2008-01-18T21:52:04-05:00

Time is extremely important. Why do we seem to abuse it so? If time was a person, it would constantly feel like people were disrespecting it. As I constantly look for ways to improve my life, I find that time is the one area where, if I were more diligent, I would be more effective. Every successful person I know and studied have excellent time management skills.

I think we all feel like there will be more Time. I did something recently. I wanted to know what the definition of time. In all the years that I can remember, I had never looked up the word time. I have always understood it as a concept like, "What time is it?" or "How much time has passed?". But what's the definition of time. After much research I found this definition:

"the continuum of experience in which events pass from the future through the present to the past "

From the future through the present to the past! WOW!! If you new that definition, would you treat time the way you do. There are so many things to say about how Time is defined. However, the most important is that don't take it for granite. You never know when your future will cease to exist and your present will be over.

Make a Decision and Live With it

2008-01-09T07:00:00-05:00

My Mothers favorite saying to me, once I became a young adult, was, "Just Make a decision and Live with it." I used to hate when she said that because if she said it she really meant, "I am not going to make this decision for you.. You have to grow up and make your own decisions". That saying has come to mind recently as I go about making some life altering decisions. I realized that there is a lot of anxiety making the next "biggest decision" of your life. That's right. All a decision is IS the the next "biggest decision". Look back on your life and think about about how many BIG decisions you have had to make: The SCHOOL Decision; The Marriage Decision; The Job Decision; The Child Decision, etc.

If you think about the anxiety that surrounded these decisions and how you thought that the earth would end whether you decided TO or NOT TO, you probably will find yourself laughing on how amazing it is that you have survived your last BIG DECISION. I like to look at decisions more as choices or options. If you break down your choices, it takes some of the "bigness" away from the decision. I also like to think about the consequences that surround my choices. If I know what's the Worst that can happen and am OK with it, then it takes the anxiety away from the decision.

Next time you have to make your NEXT BIG DECISION, remember what my mother has always told me, "Make a Decision and Live With It!"

Concentrate on the Process NOT the Prize

2008-01-04T07:00:00-05:00

I had a thought today that I wanted to make more money this year. As I sat down and thought how much more, I got to thinking about how stressed we sometimes get trying to reach a goal. As I started to think how I could increase my business and what I could do to increase my services so that I made more money per transaction, I realized that with just a few adjustments to "the how" of my business I could increase my income by 20%. "The How" is the process. If I just paid more attention to the process I could reach my goal easily.

What if we just concentrated on making the process our priority instead of the prize. Whatever the prize is; A new job, Making more money, losing weight, having a better relationship. All of these goals (prizes) are great but I think we spend to much waisted time and stress on the goal and don't concentrate enough on the process (steps that get us to the goal). If your goal is to get a new job, then you should be concentrating on your resume, networking, and your interview skills which entail the process of obtaining new position. If your goal is to lose weight, your concentration should not be on the scale but on the exercise and diet steps. If you are a business owner or in sales (and we all are in some form or fashion) you should be concentrating on Dollar Productive Activities(DPA's) every day. DPA's are activities that will increase your client base and thereby eventually make you more money. DPA's are the most important part of the process for most business owners and sales people. Don't spend all day returning email if thats keeping you from meeting new potential clients. Remember those that perfect the art of the process are eventually seperated from those who do not.

As you set your next goal, don't just write down what the goal is. Make sure you spend some time and write down the steps you need to take to reach that goal. Once that's done, concentrate on the steps, not the goal. If you keep your eyes on the process, the PRIZE will come.