krista colvin's [putting on my big girl panties + kicking breast cancer in the ass]

it's in the shoes...

2011-11-14T17:05:52-08:00

I feel almost guilty not having introduced you to my kick-ass boots. I was going to tweet [again] about the audible 'OOOOH' I heard from a gal as I swiftly walked out of Dr. Gabriel's office... then link to my blog post + photo about my boots. [because you need the photo for it to be effective #don'tchathink] But then I searched high + low and couldn't find a post. If I'm remiss then chalk it up to chemo brain... if I'm not, I am truly sorry for not having shared these with you before now.

Meet my Cancer-Ass-Kickin' Boots. They are a bit Mary Poppins meets dominatrix.

When my husband laid eyes upon them, he said I might be sending the wrong message... I didn't care. It wasn't a message meant for the local men. It was for my inner-brave girl...

These chica's accompanied me to chemo, radiation, doctor consults + follow ups, dinner on the town and coffee at Caffe Piccolo. When cancer got ugly, I knew my shoes were still the cutest within a 2 mile radius.

Today it seemed fitting to strut into my breast reconstruction post opp appointment wearing them along with my new bra...

The audible "OOOOH" which included a finger pointing gesture as I swiftly exited the waiting room was affirmation that cancer is ugly, but my life doesn't have to be.

Now we're talkin'

2011-10-27T18:26:51-07:00

Just got wind of my PET scan results....

CLEAR baby CLEAR!!!! That's right sistah' "No evidence of cancer". #highyatakethatbreastcancer

Also, I'm sportin' my new girls....and afer the rock hard mounds I was toting around, these girls are pure squishy soft heaven.

Since I'm still poppin' pain killers, I'm going to keep this post short + sweet.

Thank you Chicas + Chico's for all your love + support. And a HUMONGO thanks to my Medical Team. You are all so appreciated~

XOXO, Krista

good thoughts. good thoughts. good thoughts.

2011-10-20T15:22:05-07:00

Tomorrow I have my 6 month out PET Scan. Which in cancer world terms means they are going to see if there are any new tumors. I thought about not writing this post because I don't want to even put the idea out into the atmosphere that this is a possibility.

I hesitate to discuss recurrence. I don't use the term remission, because it implies that cancer is just sitting around waiting to return. I don't want to give it any power.

I've been doing medically what I can to reduce risk of recurrence. I'm currently on a clinical trial (that I've failed to blog about) to decrease my odds, or increase if you want to put that spin on it. I'm currently taking Neratinib. It's a year long trial that I started last April. I pop 5 pills in the am (adjusted from the original 6 because the severe diarrhea was just too severe and I'm not putting it mildly, it was crazy severe).

Neratinib works in conjunction with my Herceptin (the chemo drug I took for a year). Herceptin attacked the outside the of the cancer cell, Neratinib attacks the inside. That is attacks 'my kind' of cancer cell since the buggers are not all the same. Hence this med works on my type... You may know women that take another drug for 5 years post chemo... I've got, oops, HAD the other kind of cancer.

Sooooo, anywhoo.... I've been a bit anxious about this PET scan. I've been feeling so flippin' great, mentally + physically, that I've almost been able to put this whole cancer sabbatical behind me.

When I went for lab work today, my port was clogged. That's a sign of 'lack-of-use'... which is just fine in my book. I had to give blood the old fashioned way. Which I hate. I've hated it since god knows when. Funny since I've totally been through the wringer and this blood taking and IV placing is what I loathe the must.

Next Tuesday I go in for my reconstruction surgery... I really should hunker down and write that post. It's aptly going to be titled "the girls are coming, the girls are coming!"

Cheers to you all...think good thoughts for me. I'll be headed into the scanner around 11:00 am on Friday.

good thoughts.good thoughts.good thoughts.

the new girls are coming...

2011-09-27T16:23:52-07:00

As I sat in the plastic surgeon's waiting room I couldn't help but notice the division in the room. There were 3 women that were obviously there for the same reason I was. #theirheadscarves+wigsgavethemaway The other's I wasn't so sure...

I was there to schedule my breast reconstruction surgery... yes, I'll spend this years Breast Cancer Awareness month getting my new girls. Last year was spent removing them. They will no doubt be better, stronger, higher, tighter than the original girls. They come with history #isaidhistorynotbaggage They come with no nipples. [i'll get those tattooed on later]

I don't have anything against breast enhancements. But please do not confuse this surgery with optional boob jobs. I didn't want new girls. They are just the replacements. I won't shun them, or you if you have optional boobs... just mentally it isn't the same. I understand people when people whom don't know me just want to connect... I really do... but connecting over your boob job story or your botched booby job is no where near the same... it just isn't. #feltgoodtogetthatoffmychest #neitherischemotakingyourpubesequatetoabrazillion

My plastic surgeon gets it. He founded The Pink Lemonade Project as well as proposed a bill that will require physicians to provide information to clients. I was interviewed for this news segment along with my doctor, Dr. Gabriel. [fyi- it takes a minute to get to the segment] for the full news story click here

Dear John...

2011-09-22T11:23:51-07:00

I received this email today... I've added my snarky comments for your entertainment ;)

Hi,
I would like to know if you would have an interest in purchasing this domain name (I found your contact information online and see that you own puttingonmybiggirlpanties.com correct?).
bestbraforsaggingbreasts.com #didyoujustsaysaggybreasts? can provide a SEO boost in this market, which includes leads that pay for themselves saving you advertising money #whatexactlydoyouthinkIamadvertising (advertisers are paying $1.14 per click for these exact keywords). It is also very simple to type in/remember; and can help improve, secure, and protect your web branding identity. The price for this domain is just $375. #areyoushittingme I am reaching out to other related businesses in the next few days, #heydidyousendthistomyothercancerchicasYoudumbass and this domain will go to the first company who replies. #yeahgoodluckwiththat

Thank you,
John

1040 Hosbrook Dr.
Cincinnati, OH 45236

I do my best to only send very targeted emails to people who I think will benefit from them. #doilooklikeihavesaggyboobs #iusedtohavesaggyboobs
If you feel that you received this email in error or would not like to receive any future opportunities:
http://bestbraforsaggingbreasts.com?did=5972397&hash=9194900e5a72abc809f4e8ed976e6c7e&u=1 #erroryouthink? #numbskull #dipwad #didyouEVENreadmyblogbanner

MY Reply...

Dear John,
I don't have breasts. I had a double mastectomy a year ago due to breast cancer.

In an effort to 'truly do your best to send targeted emails to people that may benefit from them'.. then I suggest you may want to consider me for domains containing the words "reconstruction" "yes they are fake, the real ones tried to kill me" etc.

Best Wishes,
Krista Colvin

simple milestones...

2011-07-01T16:46:42-07:00

For those of you without cancer... or cancer without hair loss, you may not fully appreciate why I would take a picture of myself with a towel on my head. Even a photo sans eye glasses where I look cross eyed.

For the majority of my cancer journey I didn't want to get in the shower. Then when I did...I didn't want to get out. I wanted to stay in that safe place forever. Or maybe I just didn't want to face drying off and losing more hair. I lingered forever... feeling wasteful yet not really giving a shit either.

Months after chemo my hair started to grow back... I dried off quickly just rubbing the towel over my new hair. I felt like a boy in a gym shower toweling off... like the ones I've seen on tv. I fielded the comments about how nice it must be to not have to do my hair. Meaningful banter... not hateful and not taken that way. As my hair grew a tad longer and started to fill in, people that didn't know me thought my hair was edgy + hip. I smiled and took the compliment though sometimes I spilled the beans. I have this uncanny need to do that.

My hair went curly... and I learned to use product to tame it. I trimmed my sides. I wanted to avoid the whole Chemo-Fro look and was determined not to let cancer dictate my new look. I wanted control.

Now I hop in the shower without contemplation. I tackle my shower routine... shampoo, soap up, rinse, condition, shave, rinse and grab a hand towel to wrap around my head.

Simple Milestones. Simple milestones that exude normalcy. Welcome back lil' white towel. Welcome back.

for previous posts on 'chemo hair' click here

Proud... SO Very Proud

2011-06-22T16:15:39-07:00

Annie age 8 and Wes Colvin age 11, Recipients of the Courage of Lucy Award 2011

I am SO VERY PROUD of my children. Cancer can have my breasts, my hair, my 14 lymph nodes, my uterus... but it can't bring my kids down to your level- nope not these two.

The Courage of Lucy Award is given out to a student of Dorothy Fox Elementary School every year. Lucy Warren was a courageous 8 year old that lost all 3 of her older brothers and her father in a tragic private plane crash. Jack, Will and Rob Warren were 14, 13 and 9 when the plane plunged into the Columbia River the day after Thanksgiving in 1999. My son Wes was born soon after on New Year's Eve Dec. 31, 1999.

This story breaks my heart... When I first heard that Wes and Annie had been chosen I cried. When I called my husband to tell him I cried. Then I cried again thinking about Jack, Will, Rob, and Lucy and their mother... Thank You Geri Pope Bidwell for honoring those students that courageously walk the halls of Dorothy Fox when all is not perfect in their lives. Thank you Dorothy Fox staff for recognizing my children, for supporting them, for loving them. Mike and I are so thankful.

Girls Night Out...

2011-05-20T22:29:27-07:00

Ok.. it feels really odd to say 'Wow, that went fast"... but damn, that went fast. I can't believe a full years gone by. Last year on this night the town of Camas, my lil' town, was throwing a BIG party. Next week will be the second annual Girls Night Out... and we'll be raising money for two local charities: Pink Lemonade and The Ovarian Cancer Alliance of Oregon and SW Washington. The pink cocktails will be flowing, we'll be dancing in the streets, and pinky swearing left + right!

I LOVE our theme... Now is the New Later. Sound familiar?! Here's why...

I believe we need to ACT... We need to do our monthly self exams, we MUST listen to our body and SCHEDULE our appointments the moment something doesn't feel quite right. We NEED to PINKY SWEAR to take care of ourselves and our girlfriends. We can't wait... waiting can kill you. NOW is the NEW LATER!

OK... I'll step off my soap box to tell you how to register www.downtowncamas.com . It's only $15 and you'll be supporting Pink Lemonade and The Ovarian Cancer Alliance of Oregon and SW Washington. I wanted to give a personal shout out to Pink Lemonade...

Last month I attended a Pink Lemonade Breast Cancer Survivors Couples Retreat. I wasn't sure what to expect, in fact I said to my hubby on the way to the coast... "I have no idea what I've gotten us into, but I'm glad we're going." I'm SO glad we went. There were 7 couples, 2 incredible therapists and a sunny weekend on the Washington Coast.

Mike and I felt like we had come full circle... You may remember we spent a long weekend at the coast shortly after I had started chemo. here and here . And now here we were Cancer FREE and sharing our inner most feelings with others that had been there-done that... and continue to face the fear of recurrence. My take away... It was so nice to be around those that will never say "so you're done?" because they know It's never really done...

So... on a lighter note ;)

I would LOVE to see all of you... Celebrate Life + Friendship + Community with you!!! I do hope you can make it... Last year was pretty over-the-top! And this year we've gone a little crazy...

REGISTER HERE www.downtowncamas.org
LIKE us on FB www.facebook.com/camasGNO
A special shout out to the fabulous sponsors! Cascadia Women's Clinic, PeaceHealth, First Independent- they have some fabulous goodies for us!

Epiphany

2011-05-17T13:12:28-07:00

Whilst sitting at my favorite cafe twittering away I had an epiphany....

I got cancer because I stopped forwarding chain letters.

It began back in the late 70's when a chain letter had to be handwritten, hand addressed, stamped + mailed. It got old or I got older.

In the 90's it was the email chain letter... easier but annoying. #delete

The '00's brought requests for recipes... add your recipe, add your name, blah blah blah. #notgoingtohappen

It's 2011... so nice of you to post a Facebook 'beautiful woman' message on my page... but nope I won't send it to 10 beautiful ladies. #notthatyouaren'tbeautifuljustdon'twanttodoit

So is this what happens to a chain letter rebel
( ) ( ) ---> ___ ___ ? Maybe I should have covered my tracks... #justincase

Subject: Good Luck! (fwd)
Author:  Krista Colvin [putting on my big girl panties and kicking breast cancer in the ass]
Date:    5/17/11 12:36 PM

(o)(o)      ( + )( + )     (*)(*)        o o        ( ^ )( ^ )       (o)(O)      \ o /\ o /        ( )( )     ___ ___

   This message has been sent to you for good luck. The original
   is in New England. It has been sent around the world nine times. The
   luck has now been sent to you.You will receive good luck within four
   days of receiving this message - Provided you, in turn send it on.
   This is no joke. You will receive good luck in the mail. But no
   money.

Send copies to people you think need good luck or need to get a mammogram. Don't send money as
fate has no price.Do not keep this message. Do a Self Check within 96 hours of this message. Then send this letter to 20 of your friends.

A United States Air Force Officer received 470,000 Dollars. Another woman received 40,000 Dollars and lost it because she didn't do her monthly self check.

Whereas in the Philippines, more bad things happened because you had better things to do than forward an email - After a few days you will get a surprise
This is true, even if you are not superstitious.

In 1987, The message received by a young woman in California was very faded and barely readable. She promised herself that she would retype the message and send it on, But she set it aside to do it later. #NOWistheNEWlater She was plagued with various problems, including a small lump in her right breast.

The letter did not leave her hands within 96 hours. She finally typed the letter after visiting her obgyn and got a call saying her results were clear.

Good Luck but please remember "The sooner you feel the lump the luckier you get" : 20 copies of this message must leave your hands in 96 hours... You must not sign on this message...

PS Please take the time to do a Self Exam or schedule your annual mammogram. Because Breast Cancer affects approx. 1 out of 8 women. I'm one of them.

hysterectomy...

2011-04-24T16:49:29-07:00

Last week I had a hysterectomy... It was preventative- meaning I wasn't having girlie problems, I 'just' have an increased risk of getting Ovarian Cancer. A 24% chance based on being that I'm BRCA2 positive. BRCA is the genetic mutation I have. The one that gave me breast cancer. So it wasn't using the lid in the microwave. No amount of blueberries and broccoli could have prevented me from breast cancer.

When I told people I was going in they assumed it was because of awful periods or technical issues "oh you'll feel so much better". Nope... haven't had a period in years (thanks to my IUD and my chemo bringing on menopause). Juuuuust poppin' in to avoid a silent sneaky cancer.

While I was in the hospital I tweeted... and I commented on a blog. Because what else does a girl do on pain meds... and I couldn't think of anyone that would be happy to hear from me at 3am...

I left a comment for Erin on her blog post I Want my Uterus Back. While the procedures were the same I'm more of a 'take this uterus + shove it' kind of gal. So her post caught my eye. Our journey's are different... our roads cross on Twitter. [find Erin on Twitter: @QueenofSpain

My Comment April 20, 2011 at 6:50 am

Ironically I’m reading your post from my own hysterectomy post op bed… Located in the maternity ward. My door doesn’t have a set of tiny footprints on it.

But I did increase my odds of meeting my future grandbabies…

My uterus never caused me any problems… Not since college anyway. My pregnancies went well, she served me well. My iud kept me from having periods.

But the sneeky biotch could turn on me… Like her no-longer-perky sisters to the north did. I’m not getting either back… The girls in their original form, my uterus, or the f’n cancer that strolled in like she owned the place.

I have the BRCA2 genetic mutation- odds of breast cancer 84% ovarian cancer 24%

.....

My Twitter Stream was as follows: [remember most recent tweets are first] To follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/kristacolvin

@BarbaraCorcoran cancer's ugly, but you don't have to look ugly... gown had potential- but she didn't #sharktank

22 Apr

@BarbaraCorcoranhot mama gown was on to something... i paid $150 for my nice nordy pj set day i was diagnosed... #sharktank

I heart you @TCreativeBlogs and the chocolate cake you rode in on.... Thanks!!!

The next time I have a #hysterectomyI'm going to give my family my oxycodone so that I can rest

I think there should be a temporary boarding school where you send kids when you get home from the hospital. #leavemealone

RT @meganmcface: Are You Really YOU On Social Media? by @carriekerpen and featuring @kristacolvin :) http://t.co/jHka7Mx

@carriekerpen thanks carrie... Looking forward to getting to know YOU :)

Discharge! Soon they will wheel me down to @bkajino's chariot THaNKs Brandie!!! #hysterectomy

@carriekerpen love it! And a lil scared at the same time! #tweetsonpainmeds

@QueenofSpain I just read your blog post & commented. I'm not feeling very emotional over it... At least not yet ;)

Pain med sleepy sleepy kickin' back in... 'nite #hysterectomy

Being in the maternity wing4 #hysterectomy reminds me of walking through the petite section to get to maternity clothes #mamareyoulost?

@metrozing @lizlangeThey organize 'like with like' my surgeon was my obgyn #soI'mtold

@lizlange @metrozing However I kindly reminded night nurse to NOT bring me a crying baby last night ;)

@lizlange @metrozingthey like to call it Women's services... Hmmm. If I were in a different situation I would call it insensitive...

@metrozing @lizlange did I mention I'm in the maternity wing?! I'm the room w/o a set of inked baby ft on my door! #hysterectomy #oddreally

I feel like a 2yr old after I pee for the nurse... Like I should get a prize or something #hysterectomy #seriously

No coffee yet :) but just got another round of pain meds, blood pressure, dressing check & my pee measured! Woohoo! #hysterectomy

@ResourcefulMom @lizlange @metrozingFunny how I expected the Twitter stream to be quiet... But you east coasties are up + at 'em!

20 Apr

Thanks tweeps for the good mojo today... I'm good :) #hysterectomy

19 Apr

I'm done, I'm resting... #all'sgoodunderthehood #hysterectomy

19 Apr

I hope my doctor & her surgical team slept better than I did last night... #hysterectomy #brca

PS the doctors thought I looked great... I personally think it was because they are used to seeing patients in drab hospital gowns. My navy Carole Hochman get-up from Nordstrom, added a lil' perkiness to my post-op look. So I found it ironic that Friday's episode of Shark Tank included a chic hospital gown... check it out here. http://www.hotmamagowns.com/