Me: "Hey dad, what are you doing tonight?"

Dad: "Not too much."

Me: "Do you have a BB gun or a pellet gun?"

Dad: "Why?"

Me: "I have a really great idea! Tonight, you should drive to Philly with your gun and hang out in my kitchen and shoot the mice."

Dad: "Uh, I think there are some flaws with this plan..."

Me: "Really? I don't see any."

---

The mouse had been a common nuisance. Last night, I had people over for dinner and Bible study (Romans 10, if you're into that thing) and when I went into the kitchen I noticed some, uh, evidence that my friend had been out to visit while we were in the dining room eating. Shortly after everyone left I walked into the kitchen and flicked on the switch and I saw not one, but two mice. One dashed into the instrument panel of the stove, the other into the dishwasher. Feeling like I had been patient enough with the situation with one mouse, I promptly lost my cool. I reset the traps, in a new pattern in an effort to fool said mice and there's a chance tears were shed. 

A few hours later I walked back into my kitchen and saw something sticking out of one of the traps. Not yet certain if I should feel victorious or disgusted, I slowly crept closer for a peek. It was a cockroach. 

I didn't know I had cockroaches. 

I've called the management company and I called the exterminator. I am hoping there is a resolution to this soon. I'm willing to offer up my firstborn. 

In the meantime, I'm going to sit here in fear that I'm being visited by the plagues. While pricing flamethrowers. 

The mouse in my kitchen lives on. In fact, you might even say he reigns over my kitchen at this point. After seeing him the other day - and by seeing him, I mean, catching him out of the corner of my eye as he ran under the couch I was sitting on and I stopped breathing entirely for minutes on end - I went back to the hardware store and bought four more traps because I'm not screwing around anymore. I even got brave and bought fancy snap traps instead of the other "no-see" traps I bought that have FAILED ME TREMENDOUSLY. The hardware store told me that the one type was reusable, you can just rinse it off. HAHAHA. No. Should the trap actually catch it, there will be screaming, crying, possibly sacrificing a set of OXO tongs, a trip to the dumpster and probably a strong drink. Reuse is not an option.

I deployed the new traps, stuffing them with bacon, peanut butter and candy, reloading the old ones. 

And yet, the mouse lives on. 

This has been going on for months now. I'm on my third round of traps. The first, the glue traps, which would probably work wonderfully to catch, also included a warning that mice can escape by PULLING THEIR SKIN OFF and as soon as I read that, I freaked out. But I did not remove them. No, the exterminator said they would work best. The apartment guy said they would work best. I really wanted the mouse gone, so I left them there. For several days I would cautiously open my apartment door and listen to see if I heard any rustling. I would timidly tiptoe into toward the kitchen and slowly peek round the door with one eye closed not sure if I was hoping they'd be empty or... not. I couldn't walk into my kitchen without this routine. 

Then someone told me their story about how they had to devise a way to kill the mouse on their trap so it would be as painless as possible and I freaked out and threw them away. 

A new set of snap traps was deployed near his hidey hole. He used them as peanut butter serving platters. It was also difficult to cook with them on the stove so I moved them to the floor where I activated them with my feet multiple times.

I'm pretty sure the mouse finds this all entertaining. 

I go through periods where I don't see any evidence of him and begin to think he's disappeared for good. And then he reappears and leaves (disgusting) traces of evidence in my cooling frying pan on the stove. Or he eats my kitchen sponge. Or I see him as he boldly runs across the living room. 

I've thought about having a friend's cat over for the weekend, but most of my friends say their cats are more excited about a new play thing and are lousy mouse killers. I seriously cannot comprehend what the point of a cat is if it doesn't kill mice.

I am beginning to reconsider my policy against the glue traps, almost willing to endure the psychological damage. Almost.

I'm pretty sure the mouse is going to live with me forever. I have not named him, I don't want to form those types of attachments. I *might* miss this little chase after he's gone, but I'm willing to risk it. I'm not even all that confident I'm going to win this battle anyway.

** I know they have no-kill traps but that would require interacting with the mouse. Not to mention, I live in an urban area. There are no good locations nearby to release him where he wouldn't be headed into someone's home. 

Last fall my home group (small group/community group/Bible study) reconfigured and we needed a new home to rotate to. I offered up mine. Because not everyone in group both lives and works in the city, it can turn into a long day for the people who have to travel to that night's venue by 7:15 if they go home and eat dinner first. For some reason, in my mind, this translated to "let's have everyone over for dinner!!!"

I had never had people over for dinner before. I have NO clue why I would volunteer to do so for weeks on end. But I did. Heck, most meals I cooked for myself were of the "eh...  it's cooked through so it's gotta be safe to eat" variety.

Okay, that's not entirely true, but I didn't think they were necessarily good, ya know? So I had to get my act into gear and just go for it. And pray no one contracted e. coli or salmonella while at my house.

Some things I learned:

1. No one really cares that I don't have matching plates and silverware for a large group, people are just happy to hang out together. 

2. Cheese can fix a variety of errors. 

3. People don't have particularly high expectations. Make what you like and they'll like it.

4. Salad is easy and balances out most meals. 

5. Don't aim for perfection, aim for togetherness. 

It should be noted that I'm not trying to make anything that's high cuisine. I'm often just walking in the door from work and throwing it all together. Sometimes I'll make things in advance that I can just pop in the oven. Folks seem to be happy. I'd say they're lying but they keep coming back. And, it turns out, I love having people over for dinner. So, if you're afraid of having people over, I'm sharing some of the menus I've make in the past couple of months. All are exceedingly easy. But if I share some of mine with you, I have to ask you to share yours with me. I'm always in need of ideas. 

Tonight's dinner:

Barbecue Chicken

Ina Garten's Potato Salad

Cole Slaw

Salad (brought by a guest)

Pizza Party:

Make homemade dough, let everyone top their own and toss in the oven in pairs at 500 degrees. Slight party snafu? My smoke detector goes off when my oven is at 500 degrees. It's best to be safe and invite several guests who are at least 6'2" so they can man the alarm.

I've made the following doughs: Alton Brown's, Jim Lahey's, Wine and Honey Pizza Dough

People chose from the following toppings: caramelized onion, spinach, tomato, pesto, ricotta, feta, mozzarella

Salad with homemade tahini dressing

It's Winter and I Want Comfort Food!:

Pioneer Woman's Lasagna (people loved it. It was dense and heavy. Definitely not high cuisine, but there's a time and place for everything. And there was no way I was making a bechamel sauce. I used real parmesan cheese though because I have my limits.)

Garlic bread

Salad

Meatloaf Night:

Turkey Spinach Meatloaf with Mashed Red Potatoes (A favorite of mine)

Time Crunch/Brainless Crockpot Recipe:

Lemon Chicken

Salad

Roasted chili pepper potatoes (cut potatoes into chunks, toss with olive oil, salt, pepper and chili powder. Bake until crispy.)

A good, solid dinner for friends you love:

Thomas Keller's Simple Roast Chicken

Golden Crusted Brussels Sprouts

Potatoes Fondantes

White Whole Wheat Dinner Rolls

World's Best Chocolate Chip Cookies (Brown the butter, use good chocolate and use salted butter for a salted caramel undertone)

Dinner with a Gluten & Dairy Free Friend:

Agave Lime Chicken

Easy Black Beans and Rice

Citrus Salad with Chili Lime Vinaigrette

Almond Macaroon Torte

A few months ago I was walking through the train station to catch an early train. To where? I don't really remember. I stopped into Dunkin Donuts for an egg sandwich and on my way out, a man was asking for money. I stopped. 

***

I work in Center City Philadelphia. People are asking for money every day. It pains me as I walk past. And I do just walk by and wish them a good day. I do have money to give, but I also know that it's rare the money is going to actual food. It's not that I don't care, I do. I have a habit of coming across folks experiencing homelessness who are in distress (it's here where I take a break and search through my archives to see if I wrote about the time I, along with others, came across a man we thought was dead - couldn't find a pulse! - who, as soon as ambulance sirens were in the distance, bounced up and asked for beef jerky. It turns out I did not write about this. Until now.) Philadelphia is lucky to be home to several amazing outreach organizations (Project H.O.M.E., notably) who also reach out to individuals who want to help and don't quite know how. I know that the best thing for me to do is support organizations that provide assistance to folks most in need, and to treat these folks with respect. I know that the individuals I see on my daily route are in close to assistance and shelters. I know help is available to them, and I also know they are known to the local organizations. Is it a perfect situation? No. 

***

He asked me for $3.49, because that's what a sandwich costs. I should have gone back into the store and bought a sandwich for him. I should have. I was going to just walk away, and I even started to. But I felt guilty. I turned around, reached into my purse and pulled out some coins lying at the bottom and handed them over. I was feeling so proud. Look at me! Giving! I never do this! It's probably going to hooch! But who cares! I'm such a good person!

My ego is kind of a jerk sometimes. And no, smug is not a good look for me.

I dropped the coins into his hand and he looked at me like I had ten, disgusting heads and said, "I told you a sandwich costs $3.49."

The ungrateful, inconsiderate...

I walked away. I had given him over a dollar! He was well on his way and he seriously should have said thank you.

If you're wondering, the view from my high horse is great. 

I kept replaying the scene in my mind for the duration of the train ride. I kept thinking of the look on his face, of being totally annoyed. I felt hurt. I got less and less annoyed, and I started feeling more and more guilty. I could have given him more and I didn't. I could have, should have, bought the sandwich and I didn't. And you should never give with the expectation of being thanked, that's not the point of giving. I couldn't change anything from my seat on the train.

My mind kept wandering back to the look on his face. The look of disgust and disappointment. And then it hit me: I make that face. 

I often look at situations and think, "This is it?" or "Uh, this isn't what I asked for." I say "thanks, but..." I throw a hissy fit when the dryers at the laundromat dry half of my clothes before breaking. I think annoyed thoughts when my apartment is only cooled down to 84 with the air running at full blast. I... could go on. I'm really not as grateful as I should be. I don't want to make that face, or give that feeling, to anyone. I AM grateful.

I wish I could have changed the situation in the train station. I wish I could have done the right thing. But selfishly, I gleaned a lesson from my less than stellar behavior: I always want to be grateful, even for the little things, even for the halfsies, even for the giant failures. Sometimes it's a little taxing to be grateful for something I'm, uh, not enthused about, but the overall benefit is worth it.

Going nearly a full year without writing is a really long time. Don't worry, I'll be dusting around here while you're reading. I'm going to have to do the terribly clichéd update in list form here. I'm sorry. I KNOW. It's just... so efficient! And tidy! And requires such little brain power!

Travel

Let's see, I've been to Berkeley, CA (2x); Tiburon, CA (2x); Boston (2x); Phoenix;  New Orleans; Portland, OR; Austin, TX and Dallas, TX. I don't think I have a favorite place, though Portland and Austin are wonderful, and of course Berkeley is too, but I go there multiple times a year anyway. Not to mention, Portland was awesome because I got to have dinner with Kerrianne and Rhi. 

It seems that throughout my travels I developed a little addiction to used book stores. It all starts so innocently, you see a book you've been wanting to read forever (The History of Love by Nicole Krauss) for an irresistible price and it seems silly not to buy it, and others. Before you know it, you've bought twenty new books in the last three months and read three. 

Home

I moved! It seemed somewhat miraculous at the time, but it turns out that if you don't live across the street from an Irish pub and a pizza place that's open until 4:00 am, your neighborhood is remarkably quiet. I love my new place. It's quiet and bright and cozy. Also, it has a dishwasher. I will never live anywhere else without one. Now if only I could figure out how to rid my garbage disposal of the stank that lives there. (Spoiler alert: lemons, hot water and vinegar don't touch it!)

The downside to my new place is it's an extra 20 minute walk to work. I didn't mind it in 4 degree weather with whipping winds. Ninety-four degrees with humidity is a different, long, whiny story. 

Home Economics 101

Sometimes I have friends over for dinner and cook for them. I'm kind of amazed by how much I like having people over and doing the whole entertaining thing. I've come to adore baking, especially bread products (with the caveat of not really enjoying it when it's 94 degrees and humid, even with air conditioning). And homemade pizza dough? Why didn't anyone tell me it was so easy? And AWESOME? 

I have a list in GoogleDocs of recipes I've made recently, but for some reason, it's not allowing me to update it at the moment. Once I win this war (I always win), I will share.

I still hate cleaning.

I've been knitting like a maniac as 2010 seems to be the year of the babies. For the next year of babies I'm going to choose small items to make, like hats, instead of the blankies I'm making this year. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get carpal tunnel syndrome. 

The mouse in my kitchen

I have a mouse. He lives in the instrument panel of my stove. I first saw him when he went into my bedroom. Along his route he stopped and stared at me. I called for my imaginary cat but that didn't phase him. 

The exterminator came, my landlord investigated. Nooks and crannies were filled and they lined the top of my stove with glue traps. I don't have the heart for glue traps. I would think about them and be reduced to tears because it's just so cruel. They're God's creations too and I can't torture one of God's creations. My tears would then switch to panic because WHAT IF THERE WAS ONE WHEN I GOT HOME? Then my boss scared me because mice are like procreation fiends and she had a mouse family in her stove that got so bad, the only option was to replace the stove. *shudder*

Yeah, I'm really sorry for those nightmares.

I thought he was extremely intelligent and was a bit in awe of him because he ate all of the peanut butter off of the traps. These traps were so sensitive I had to wear shoes in the kitchen all the time because I kept setting them off with my feet. While it may sound high maintenance, I really like my toes and want them to hang around. And yet, this little guy cleaned them off. 

We go through phases where I don't see traces of him for a while. I begin to think he's gone to bother my neighbors and start to breathe a sigh of relief, Cloroxing* the kitchen counters thoroughly and giddily. And then he eats the kitchen sponge. That I used with the bleach. He's not that smart after all.  And yet, he lives on. I'm pretty sure he's thriving, actually. Meanwhile, the plants that I'm trying to keep alive are dying. I can't win.

*I've switched mainly to all natural, hippie cleaning products, I know, it doesn't sound like me at all, but... I'm a sucker for good marketing? Though I do do try to stay away from companies that are merely greenwashing. Anyway, hippie products or not, the presence of mice necessitates bleach. I'm not apologizing for it. 

Work

My job keeps me busy, though it tends to ebb and flow throughout the year. In April and the beginning of May I was so busy I couldn't see straight. In the meantime, I haven't been as busy. I'm now gearing up for a very busy July. If you ask me in the heat of a moment during July, I'll probably spat something out about wishing I was on the beach somewhere, but I assure you, I wouldn't have it any other way. I work best when I'm busy. Well, I would have it another way: If there were a frozen, alcoholic drink machine at the office. And my office were on a nice, sunny beach with gentle waves lapping at the shore.

Really though, I couldn't ask for a better work environment or better coworkers. Trust me, if you're going to travel with the same people for a significant portion of your working time (I travel between 20-30% of my time each year) you would want to travel with them. They eat well, drink well and laugh a lot. They work hard too. 

Church

Yeah, I definitely got more religious this past year. I still feel kind of funny talking about it because people who knew me before I became a Christian are kind of weirded out by it. Some think it's a phase. Some think it's a joke. I'm still trying to figure out how to live an integrated life that works for me and is... right. Overall, my life has changed and I'm so. much. happier., my life is richer and I would like to think, I'm a much better person. But it's not easy. I joke fairly regularly that I'm going to run off and become Amish because then I won't have to make pesky decisions and my entire life will be plotted out along a predictable course. I LOVE PREDICTABLE COURSES! Plus, they cook with real butter and you know their food is awesome. I would, however, miss television. This should come as a surprise to no one. 

----

So, is that a year in a nutshell? I think it might be. Of course there is stuff I'm missing. I've laughed. I've cried. I had shingles like a 65-year-old. 

My life is good. 

The wedding I attended yesterday was wonderful. The ceremony was one of the most amazing I have ever attended. It was very religious with two presiding priests, psalms, standing, kneeling and lots of hymns. Both families are devoutly religious, as is the couple.

At other weddings I've attended people don't exactly sing along to the hymns and it ends up being a dull murmur that's a little lackluster in the joy department. Not yesterday. I'm pretty sure that all attendees other than myself have spent a significant portion of their lives singing in choirs because the guests knocked my socks off -- and even presented the opportunity for me to sing out because all of the amazing voices were available to drown me out.

We sang one of my favorite hymns and when we hit the refrains and all of the voices joined together in the refrain, I got chills:

God is love, and where true love is God himself is there.

It was a day of praise and celebration. It was beautiful and I am honored to have been in attendance.

Friends on Facebook and Twitter know that I attended a wedding this weekend. They may have noticed that I tweeted and removed tweets, and renamed a picture album no fewer than 10 times. I wanted it to be perfect, and I didn't want to tick people off or alienate anyone.

It was a gay wedding.

To be perfectly technical, it wasn't a formal marriage but rather a blessing of a civil union and commitment. And my reason for fear?  Well, I didn't want to be judged as being an inferior Christian for attending. I'm just now becoming involved in Christian blogging circles and well, homosexuality is quite the divisive issue. Not only do people disagree, they view it as a black and white issue and completely discredit those on the other side.

Yes, this wedding was between two devout Christians. Two people who have been called to minister to others and to spread the Word of God vowed to love and honor Christ -- and to love and to love and honor each other. 

God is love, and where true love is God himself is there.

I know not everyone agrees. I understand. I know people have theological differences and I respect that. I hope that others can respect that I'm unable to find fault (and don't believe it would be my place to) in two adults of sound mind and body who love each other so much that they've chosen to remain together forever. I am honored to call them friends and to have witnessed such a wonderful ceremony.

If you have questions or comments I'm happy to talk about them.