Job-Mom

Downsizing for Work-Life Balance

2007-09-23T21:36:09-07:00

You've likely noticed that this JobMom has been quite silent for the past few weeks. For good reason. In the past two months I've:

-sent my oldest son off to kindergarten
-sent my youngest son to preschool
-seen Rick Springfield. Twice. Over two days.
-been involved in a major acquisition
-learned that my six-month-old puppy requires surgery for a random eye ailment
-had two serious bouts of bronchitis

...and then some. No really, the list does go on like a bad movie.

The end of summer has always been a time of transition. But this particular season has redefined "rolling with the punches" for my family and work life. This struggle with work-life balance came to a head for me. When I quit my corporate job a few years ago to become a freelance writer, the goal was to spend time enjoying my kids while revolving work around my personal life. But over the past year I let that dynamic change a little too much. And this summer I paid the price with a hectic pace that wore me out.

I determined that there was only one solution: to downsize my workload.

By letting go of several assignments, I'm opening the door to something I've missed: time and focus...for my kids and my work.

This is a long, roundabout way of saying that you are reading my last post as the editor of JobMom. You can continue to read my writing at my personal blog, crazedparent, and at the parent social networking site, Maya's Mom, where I will continue as the site editor. I'll still be writing on the fly for a few print publications. And if I'm really lucky, maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get some personal writing projects back on track. That's the goal at least.

Many thanks to those of you who've been readers of JobMom and watched my journey since January. I appreciate all of your thoughts and comments, but most of all, your time. I know how hard it is find those rare moments to read online for pleasure, and I'm honored that you spent it here.

Cheers.

The Winner of the Coakley Everyday Tote Bag is...

2007-09-03T15:56:00-07:00

...Blondeblogger. Congratulations! You'll be receiving the Coakley Everyday Business Tote Bag in black.

Thanks to everyone who participated!

Giveaway! Win a Coakley Everyday Tote Bag

2007-08-29T11:12:59-07:00

I have to admit, I took great joy in helping my son shopping for his kindergarten school supplies. I'm one of these gals that has always loved new school supplies.

But what about working mom supplies? Don't you feel the need for a cool new bag every now and then?

Lucky for you, we have one -- and you can win it! The folks at Coakley have given us one of their uuber cool Coakley Business Everyday Tote Bags in black, valued at $295.

Want to win it?

Just leave a comment below and we'll pick a name randomly on Monday, September 3, 2007. All comments must be posted by Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 11:59 EST.

Good Luck!

Part-Time Work: Tough Choice? Not Really.

2007-07-22T13:34:24-07:00

Does it come as any surprise that more working moms prefer part-time work over full-time work? I'm not going to delve into the numbers and details of this Pew Research report. As we know with all studies, numbers only say so much. But I mean, really, does this come as such a shock? Any working mom I chat with wants the best of both worlds: to further her career/utilize her education/contribute to the family's income while still being able to enjoy all the wonders of motherhood. Working part time -- when it's done successfully -- can satisfy this goal.

Are you a mom with a part-time work situation? Would you ever go back to full-time work?

I think Self-Made Mom really captures the essentials of a good part-time working mom. An understanding boss, great co-workers, and solid childcare are key to making it work.

The transition from full-time work to part-time work can take time, and you may fumble...I know I did. I actually was working part-time shortly after returning from maternity leave. And I went back to full time because of one reason: I had a difficult time letting go of work on my days off.

My tip? On your "off" days, own your time. Own it. Do not let your employer steal those hours from you. I know this sounds dramatic and harsh, but just trust me on this one. If you let it happen once, it will happen again and again. Those "I really hate to bother you" calls will be happening all the time

I started with a 32-hour work week, but my work-load wasn't reduced to match my new hours. I ended up working on my days off because my co-workers and boss were calling me...and I made the mistake of answering their questions or dealing with their crises. I checked my email. I still had my team-required pager. And I'd respond to pages. It let my colleagues know that even though I was technically "off," I was still making myself available for work. I didn't want them to think I was just another woman "on the mom track." It was ridiculous, I know, but I was a new mom and learning to navigate some very turbulent and biased waters. The end goal of spending more time with my son was never achieved, and I was guilt-ridden (surprise!).

I ended up switching back to a 40-hour work week so I could at least get paid for the work I was doing. But after six more months of chaos and utter sadness and missing my son, I decided I had to either work part time -- and really work part time -- or quit.

I pitched a new scenario to my boss, where my job focus would be different to accommodate a 24-hour week scenario. I had a set schedule. And I made it clear that on my days off, I was completely unreachable. I was no longer going to give them my free time. And, most importantly, I was true to my word. On those two blessed days off, I turned my cell phone and pager off. I didn't turn on my laptop until the night before I was to return to work, just to make sure there weren't any major fires to put out. Now, there were special occasions where I did have to work on a day off, typically for a special event. But I usually asked weeks in advance if I could make myself available. I never felt obligated to come in on those days, but because my team had respected and supported my work schedule, I genuinely wanted to return the favor by helping out. To me, that was teamwork at it's finest.

If you jump to the conclusion that I was in a position that wasn't essential, you're wrong. I'll say that my "new" job focus ended up being one of the most vital parts of the team. And I was damn lucky that my manager supported me and let me create this brand new role. I don't share this to toot my own horn; remember, I ended up leaving the company! My point is that you can be a strong and important contributer at work and still work part time.

Here's another secret. While I know you're never supposed to say "never," after working part time, I don't know what I could ever work full time again...even when my boys are both in school. When you work part time, you become super efficient at your job. You get your work done, and you're out.

If you really do manage to tune your job out on your off days, you have time to enjoy life.

That wasn't really a tough decision to make.

Working Moms and Overcommittment: Just Say No.

2007-07-14T15:14:48-07:00

Kelly Watson (Mother Leads Best) at Work-It, Mom! recently wrote a post called Overcommitted, where she takes a look at what happens when you're in a work/life groove and suddenly "mommy kryptonite" gets thrown at you (I love that phrase, mommy kryptonite -- I will be using it often!)...and you're in a tailspin. I've been feeling that way for past few weeks so Kelly's story really struck a chord with me.

In Kelly's case, her Mother's Helper unexpectedly fell through during a particularly chaotic time -- the end of the school year along with a busy work week for mom. She goes on to examine what happened to make her feel like a mom mess. And her answer is one that I believe will resonate with most moms, working or not. Kelly writes:

"I think one of my biggest faults is the tendency to over-commit, especially when things are going well. I forget that life, like the market, has cycles and I am not always going to be at the top."

So true. When it feels like you're routine is fully streamlined, maybe you've found some pockets of time for yourself, and you're still managing to succeed at work and actively participate in your children's school (or daycare) activities, you overcommit. But it's so easy to forget about that silly thing called Murphys Law: "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time."

Kelly has received -- and offered -- some excellent advice. When that mommy kryptonite gets tossed your way, immediately put yourself on the "just say no" list. Kelly's friends suggested she decline every new personal and work request until her Mother's Helper returned. Now, saying no to work requests may be difficult. It's not like you can say "Sorry, I can't do that report for you." You can set a realistic deadline. And on the personal side, you could certainly turn down requests to host or participate in play dates or parties...just until you get back into your (false) groove again.

Kelly also reminds us that we should always always ask for help when we need it. I used to have trouble with asking for help, but once I hit my wall -- the one that shouted, "Why are you torturing yourself trying to get all this done on your own??!!" -- it became much easier to call in the lefty when I needed a relief picture.

I think the best advice received is one for all moms: "...Live fully in the moment with each action I take between now and then [when her "kryptonite phase ends], so that instead of a worried, distracted, and stressed mother/leader/friend, I am the person everyone needs me to be." I would like to live fully in the moment everyday, not just in those chaotic times. It's easier said than done, of course, because living in the moment requires great focus. I don't know about you, but sometimes I'm as easily distracted as my two-year-old opening presents on Christmas day.

But I do know that after reading Kelly's post, I'm going to take my own hard look at how I over-commit myself. I know I do it, I want to pinpoint the when and where...so I can stop saying yes.

What about you? Do you over-commit yourself? And what do you do when you get hit by mom kryptonite?

JobMom Working Mom Blogs Webring

2007-07-10T15:13:36-07:00

A little housekeeping on the JobMom Working Mom Blogs Webring.

Those of you who have submitted your requests to be added to the ring: When you apply to be added to the webring you should be receiving HTML code that you need to add the code to your site in order for the webring to work. If your coded isn't added to your site, the webring doesn't pick up your blog and hence, you won't appear in your fabulous directory.

I've emailed several of you with a copy of the code. If you haven't received an email from me, please sign up again for the webring and we'll start over!

Thanks much!

In the Cube: Tales from Working Mom Blogs

2007-07-08T23:17:00-07:00

I've got summer fever. On top of trying to keep a grip on my family's schedule, my workday makes me feel like a little kid during the last week of school. When I wake up in the morning to gloriously hot and sunny weather -- or cool misty fog -- I want to play. When I pick my son up from summer camp or see my littlest one off with his babysitter, I want to play.

Taking a stroll around the working mom blogs realm I'm glad to find I'm not the only gal with summer fever. And it's making me feel just a wee bit better. Here's what's happening In the Cube:

Career an Kids: Elizabeth has vacation on the brain, too, and ponders how working parents shut off the "work" button and click into relaxation mode. She also offers some good tips to get help get moms and dads into the vacation mood. I like her advice to "Do nothing in 'absolutes,'" as in, "I'm NOT going to check my voicemail/email/crackberry" while I'm on vacation." Oh, the pressure. It is your vacation -- give yourself a little freedom and if checking your voicemail at home is going to make your feel more relaxed, well then, do it. (Just don't go into tailspin if you hear your the voice of your boss.)

The Juggle: Sara Schaefer Muñoz wonders if working parents are taking more vacation time then allocated as part of their paid time off. If you factored in all the times a dad or mom had to leave early from work for a soccer game or daycare pick up, maybe...if those hours weren't made up on the back end when parents are making up for missed work time after the kids are in bed. I know I stayed up many a late night in my previous work life making up for lost "office" time. But I don't consider that taking more vacation time than allocated. As for using paid time off, consider this. When I quit my job, I had a check coming to me for three weeks of vacation. I liked the cash, but wow, I wish I had traveled with my husband and at the time, one son, more often.

The Work/Life Balancing Act: Cindy Krischer Goodman laments that "summer can be cruel to career goals." Tell me about, sister. She riffs on Eric Albertson's idea of setting unreasonable career goals to move ahead and lists a few of his recommendations on how do to so. His tips seem reasonable and even doable, except for item number two: "THINK about it all the time. Obsess about it. Don't push it out of your mind." If there's one thing I don't want to do, it's obsess about something work related. There is this thing called work-life balance I'm trying to acheive. (Hey! I wonder if that's my unreasonable career goal? I can obsess about that.)

Marketing Mommy: Alma's got her own special brand of summer vacation going on at Marketing Mommy. She went on maternity leave on July 3rd and awaits the arrival of her second baby. I remember that day well, Alma. Now we have to wait for her big announcement. Congratulations, Alma, and enjoy your time away.

What's going on in your cube?

Thinking about Getting a Puppy? Here, Take Mine.

2007-07-04T06:55:25-07:00

I'm kidding. Really, I am.

Now if you had told me two nights ago that you were thinking about getting a puppy -- when I was awake at 1 a.m. standing in my backyard while my new puppy, Luna, was going to the bathroom for the tenth time in two hours -- I would have gladly handed her over to you. In fact, I would have begged you to take her. Immediately.

Little Luna, at 13 weeks, has a bladder infection and some sort of weird gastrointestinal woes. I can't exactly be mad at her for needing to be let outside when the urge strikes her (Any woman who has dealt with a urinary tract infection can sympathize with the poor dog.) But I do get mad at myself from time to time for adding a new element of chaos and stress to my already hectic life.

I love my little pup and she is really, really cute, which does make up for the late nights and early mornings with her. And while I knew ahead of time that raising a puppy was going to be "hard work," I had no idea what this type of hard work would entail. Or the amount of stress it would place on our family.

The image of bringing a new puppy into your home is one of Hallmark moments. But the fact is that those Hallmark moments end after that first night at home, when puppy quickly grows from all cuteness to needing immediate discipline and hard training. Especially if the image you have of your puppy five years down the line is one of a grown dog curled up on the floor at your feet while you read a book to your little ones.

If you're a working parent with young kids and you're thinking about getting a puppy, don't just think twice. Ponder this topic for days, months, hell -- even a year. Talk to other parents who have recently gone through the new puppy experience and make sure their kids are of similar ages as yours.

And ask yourself the following questions:

-Are you ready for sleepless nights? Sure, dogs are like babies in that you don't know what you have until you get home. I have several friends with dogs who as puppies, slept through the night. But my puppy, she wakes up at least once a night. Sometimes twice. And after years of uninterrupted sleep, night wakings are no fun, especially when you have to wake up and work the next day. Just think back to those first few months post baby...

-Can you handle being home-bound for 10 weeks? Puppies can't go for walks until they get their rabies vaccine at 16 weeks, which means you'll be spending alot of time at home. This is even more true if you are crate training your dog. And when you do go out sans puppy, you'll be on the stopwatch based on the last time you put your pup out for bathroom break. With Luna, I can only leave the house for two hours tops. Our family is suffering from withdrawls from our weekend day trips, which we can't take until we have a new puppy run built in our backyard.

-Can you work from home until your dog is house trained? If you expect your puppy to learn where to "potty up" easily outside, then be prepared to stay at home and train your dog until you can leave him/her outside unattended (typically the 12-week mark). Otherwise just brace yourself for lots of time on the floor cleaning up puppy's mistakes. And while your at it, factor in that your work day will be faced with constant interruptions from puppy (sometimes a good thing when you need a break).

-Will you have adequate time to properly train your dog? Dogs don't become well-trained overnight (but you knew this). Even with weekly puppy school, factor in obedience training all the time. Sure, people get puppies and it seems like peaches and cream. But the difference between the dog that you love playing with because he/she is well-behaved -- and the dog that you can't stand because he/she jumps all over you and has bad dog manners -- is all in early, consistent and ongoing training. It's tons of fun but it's also really time consuming. And the dogs that end up with poor training? They usually end up in the backyard or at the pound because no one wants to play with them anymore.

-Are you prepared for the stress of a dog that barks incessantly after a day at work and the kids are climbing on you? You think I'm joking, but it's no picnic to listen to a puppy yap for attention after a work day while your kids simultaneously pull at you from every angle and you're making dinner or just trying to catch your breath.

-Are you ready to have another baby? The bottom line is that having a puppy is exactly like adding a new baby to your family. Trust me. Take a hard look at your work situation and your family life, and ask whether or not the timing is right for a new puppy. And if you really, really want a dog but don't want to deal with the hassles of getting a puppy, consider finding an older, already trained dog.

Next time on the puppy topic...how to survive motherhood, work and being a new puppy owner.

Stealing Time for Hobbies

2007-06-29T15:38:31-07:00

There's something about my life being chaotic that pulls me towards being crafty. Over the past month, with our new puppy, my boys and their summer schedules and my husband's new travel routine, I feel like I've been pulled in about twenty different directions and my head won't stop spinning. I find myself pulling out my scrapbooking materials, looking at design books and creating a wish list of projects I want to complete. I get inspired by women like Donna Downey and Cathy Zielske and Ali Edwards. Amazingly talented women and working moms who spend their days creating art.

I've realized my need to craft comes from a need to pull away from my laptop -- my 24-hour access to all-things-work. Because my work day is like a patchwork quilt, I could spend every free moment writing.

With crafts, it's just me and time with absolute focus on creating pretty things.

Between work and being a mom, it's really easy for hobbies to get left by the wayside -- especially new ones. (It's not all that cool to whip out an electric guitar after the kids are asleep.) And let's face it, work is always there. I could easily work every single night until the wee hours of the next morning. Somehow, we always force ourselves to make time for work. To catch up. To get ahead. (Sound familiar?)

But you have to steal time for yourself.

Stealing Time: Grand Gestures

Sometimes it takes a big, bold move to find time for your hobbies. What I call the "Grand Gesture." A few months ago I went on a weekend scrapbooking retreat with one of my best friends. She'd been asking me to go with her to a "crop" for years. When I realized how behind I'd gotten on my albums -- and I spied an event in the Wine Country -- I finally agreed to go. Who could pass up a weekend away from the kids while scrapbooking at a renowned Napa Valley restaurant? It was almost too good to be true. After that weekend, I made her promise to go with me to another crop -- this time near the beach -- because I was in bliss from endless hours of uninterrupted time to focus. And not only have I signed up, I've convinced some other working moms to join me.

Can you take a weekend or after-work gardening class? Participate in a one-day crop with friends? Or an intense cooking course? All ways to go big when it comes to enjoying your hobbies.

Stealing Time: Wee Hours and Late Nights

Okay, reality check. The Grand Gestures to steal time for hobbies don't come all that often, and you have to savor every moment when you can get away to enjoy yourself. But if you don't make a Grand Gesture, will you still make time for your hobby?

You should, especially if it's one that makes you decompress and feel good about yourself.

I find that when I'm excited about my crafts, I wake up early so I can spend some quiet time working on my projects while everyone else is still asleep. And somehow, no matter how tired I am before the kids go to bed, I find myself staying up really really late because I just have to finish one more page for an album.

I've also found it easier to work on my craft-related projects now that my older son is five. He's very interested in what I'm doing, all the gadgets, tools and fabrics. Nol could easily sit and watch me cut fabric swatches for a quilt for an hour, asking me about every single step as we go. He's quiet about it, using his "inside voice," which makes me know he understands that this activity is a peaceful one. So sometimes when my toddler is napping, Nol and I will start a project. It's become a wonderful way of spending quiet time together.

I know, I'm talking alot about crafty things, and not all moms want to be crafty. Truth be told, I was never really all that crafty until I had kids. Once my Nol was born, I had a new muse. I found an artistic side I never knew existed. I have other hobbies -- gardening, cooking, photography -- but those sort of blend into the everyday.

The point is that whatever hobby you enjoy, make time to do it. When you're feeling overwhelmed with work and motherhood, that's the time you need to focus on your other "loves in life" the most.

You just might find yourself completely recharged. Or at least energized enough to make it through to your next hobby session.

Summer Vacation: A Refresher in Efficiency and Organization

2007-06-26T10:58:05-07:00

Summer vacation is in full force at the crazedparent house. My five-year-old son, Nol, started his summer camp today and like another mom in my hood, I'm already feeling the pain. It's not that I'm exhausted from driving Nol back and forth from school, or planning our post-school day activities. I actually look forward to all of that because it's quality time with my little guy. And he needs a little mama-spoiling right now.

The pain I'm feeling has more to do with the organizational extravaganza required to keep our entire family in check. When I feel like chaos is about to ensue, I go through a mass organizational fest from closets to calendars. And I start repeating the saying, "A place for everything and everything in its place."

As an independent contractor, organization, efficiency and routine are critical to survival. Just when you're getting a little too comfortable, a little kick in the arse from say, you're child's summer vacation, comes along to add a little discomfort to your flowing work days.

Okay, it wouldn't be honest of me to blame my summer working mama woes on my son's summer schedule. The truth is that on top of his reduced school hours, I'm also adjusting to my husband's new travel schedule and um, did I mention our new puppy? (An entirely separate story, of course). Tack all of that onto one busy work week and well, you've got one mom with a brain that's on overdrive.

While I've already pulled together a summer schedule for my boys, I hadn't taken the time to reassess what my summer routine will be given Nol's new camp hours and bonus time at home...and everything else going on.

Over the weekend, I mapped out the next three months on a day-by-day basis to cover schedules for both boys, my husband and myself. It made me feel better to look at our world at a glance. But I also knew that I needed to delve into some nitty gritty work habits to eek out a more efficient routine.

I pulled out my copy of The Anti-9-to-5 Guide by Michelle Goodman for a little refresher on how to get myself on track for summer vacation. Michelle's book is a fantastic how-to for anyone looking to leaving "the cube" so to speak, but it also offers really valuable tips that you can use daily to be better organized...something every working mom struggles with at some point in her career.

And it's always in the little things that make a big impact. I'm focusing on three areas that need some help in my world. Here's what I'm doing, based on Michelle Goodman's book, to tackle my new summer schedule:

-Establishing a new and realistic routine with different "business hours" to accommodate Nol's new school day. And being vigilant about sticking to it. I normally keep track of my workday on paper, but I'm going digital. I downloaded this cool widget for my MacBook called The Daily Grind, which is helping me track all of my hours down the second.

-Cleaning house, or rather, my office. I'm "pimping out" my workspace to get even more organized so that I have a space for everything. I feel completely overwhelmed when I'm surrounded by clutter. Ikea here I come.

-Tackling administrative duties in one-fell swoop once a week. It's so easy to get distracted...you see a receipt, you want to file it immediately. You see emails popping into your in-box every few seconds. But once you switch gears, even for a minute, it's hard to get back into your groove. Even for the best multi-tasker. So I'm setting aside time once a week to handle my filing, invoicing and any other "admin" duties that are required for my job and family (e.g., bill paying).

And while I know that I'm a slash/mom who works from home most of the time, I'm sure all of you working moms out there with kids at home for the summer are facing your own challenges. What do you do to get back on track?