zenMom

Hold on to your AquaNet: Trainwreck "Toddlers & Tiaras" is baaaaack!

steph — 2009-07-29T08:16:00-07:00

While I never watched the first season of Toddlers & Tiaras I did catch one or two episodes of its other, equally horrid twin, "Little Miss Perfect" and its earlier incarnation " Showbiz Moms & Dads" and really, when you've seen one show where (Mom/Dad/Grandma) is helping (read: forcing their kid to achieve their dream) their child with all the tenderness of a drill sergeant, you've seen them all...and if you haven't, then consider the following video your cliff notes on the whole subject:

That said I felt like I had to watch the first two episodes of this show before saying anything about it at all. Even though I have a good idea its not much different than Little Miss Perfect or Showbiz Moms & Dads (Debbie Tye still gives me nightmares), I can't judge it without taking a bite. so here we go...

Am I the only parent out there that thinks pitting twins against each other in direct competition in a beauty pageant might not be the best decision? Well meet the Sterling Twins: AshLynn & BreAnne. Did we mention that its not at all hard to tell that not only are these girls competing on the circuit against each other, they're also competing for mom....and mom doesn't hide who her favorite is.

Then there was the baby boy, barely more than a couple of weeks old, being fitted into the tiniest tux you have ever seen in your life so he could compete alongside (but not against) his older brother. Golden OMG moment: when mom talks about the need to improve WeeBabe's "performance skills". He's not even a month old mom - chill the eff out.

The first two episodes are filled with moments that make you wonder more about why mom (and sometimes dad) is so intent on the pageant life. More than anything, after watching shows like this, I'm left feeling very skeptical about just how invested the kids themselves really are....if they wouldn't perhaps be just as happy with something....else.

When a child of three, looking like they don't just adore waking up at 6 a.m. for hair and make-up, is nap deprived, hopped up on pixie sticks and Aqua Net fumes, and responds as any self-respecting 3-year-old would by throwing a temper tantrum mom's dismiss it as a "diva moment" rather than a sign that, perhaps, you know, Krystal Lynn isn't so into this whole gig.

When I've surfed past and caught one of these type of shows Hillel cringes at the tiny girls dolled up like Las Vegas showgirls and we surf on; quickly. The ick factor is a distinction this points out that goes right to the heart of what makes these pageants so...disturbing. If an adult man was found with pictures of these pageant kiddos he could be brought up on charges of child pornography. Photographs of kiddie swimsuit competition can't be difficult to get a hold of if you are following the pageants. Does anyone ask why its not inappropriate to make little girls compete in a swimsuit in front of an audience of people and a few male judges?

One little girl said, "I want to take a break (from pageants)" and her mother actually made her count her trophies to let her know what she would be throwing away if she quit. I would like to add that the girl was 6 years old. link

After two episodes filled with kids too young dressed up older than they should be, I can't say that Toddlers & Tiaras comes across as anything other than trainwreck tv. The nature of pageants and its more 'enthusiastic' parents doesn't exactly provide redeeming material to use.

Pageant Lingo: I did learn something new watching Toddlers: I learned all about "flippers", fake teeth to hide the gaps that normal girls have from losing their baby teeth.

Now I have never participated in any kind of a pageant, either as a child contestant or the "mother of" - this doesn't make me a better mother than any mom who has ever entered her child in a pageant, it just makes me a mother who made a different choice. Mother's who go overboard in their "support" aren't limited to the pageant world, and are found everywhere from soccer fields to college fairs. That said, I've never felt like taking the risk of teaching my child, before she can walk, that she should judge herself by how she's judged...beneath fake eyelashes, make-up (beyond her years), and an outfit that shows more skin than one might be comfortable with for someone twice their age. I was gently urged more than once by certain family members to "just try it out" for the "fun" of it, because they thought Jillian was gorgeous and a shoo-in for the ginormous trophy.

Now of course I think my kids are beautiful. Most mothers think the same of their own. This doesnt mean I jumped at the chance to put my daughter into that arena. I'd rather let her choose what she wants to do and give her an outlet like acting, dance, sports, etc to one like pageants. There will be too many opportunities for her to feel judged by the superficial once puberty hits, that i cant force her to deal with that before she's learned how to ride a bike.

Now i just have to figure out how to scrub my brain clean.

Motherhood is not a competitive sport.

steph — 2009-07-28T22:27:54-07:00

Silicon Valley Moms Blog ran a post a while back, "Sanctimommy or Safetymommy?", which focuses on the moms out there who "know best":

"I don't like Sanctimommies. You know, the parent who knows, beyond a doubt, the best way to parent her kids and everyone else's -- even though she knows nothing about you or your situation -- and doesn't hesitate to let you know it. Sanctimommy takes many forms. She's young, old, male, female, parent, grandparent; she can even be childless. She's everywhere." via SVMoms Blog

While I have yet to run into a SanctiDaddy, I'm sure they're out there. One thing is sure for the female of the species, they may, or may not be moms yet, but regardless of who they are and how many car seats they have, on thing is sure: You can take their advice, or risk their wrath if you ask politely to back off.

I've had on particularly helpful person give me a lecture on cough syrup that sounded very much like this:

"Oh, did you know that my pediatrician told me those cough syrups are a waste of money? They don't work anyway and it's just pumping more drugs into your kids. I never buy them for mine."

She lectures you about the evils of regular milk and regales you with 'helpful information' about why soy milk is better. Whatever it is you are doing? well, Sanctimommy exists to help you see the error of your ways.

"There was the time my daughter rang her doorbell to sell her girl scout cookies. Instead of a simple "No, thank you", she subjected my daughter to a lecture about the evils of sugary, fat-laden treats. "Do you know how unhealthy cookies are? You shouldn't be eating those things or even selling them!" via SVMoms Blog

I've had my encounters with a few Sanctimommies myself running the gamut from merely annoying to full on Control Freak. The hardest to deal with always seem to be the ones who come with that urge to tell you that you can ask them to back off anytime ("You're the Mom, after all!") because frankly, they're the one's least likely to mean it.

A lot of my friends are now starting their families and, since I've got two kids under 7, some of them come to me to ask questions about pregnancy or kids or how Hillel and I manage to have personal time and I love being able to give them my input. I try to make it clear that the way I've raised my kids is just that, the way I'm raising my kids - and i avoid saying anything that sounds like "you should".

Filed Under: better late than never...

steph — 2009-07-28T21:26:34-07:00

Like most of us, you probably have posted family pictures online in some way, shape, or form. Perhaps you wanted to share wedding photos, or your family portrait, right? Well, in what Jezebel has dubbed Reason #439 You Should Be Careful What You Put Online we present the Smith family of Missouri. The Smiths, photogenic mom, dad, and two blond children, were so proud of their Christmas portrait (taken by a photographer friend) that Mom Danielle posted the picture online in addition to sending it out to family. She posted the portrait not only on her own blog but on several social networking sites including several geared specifically toward moms.

Imagine their surprise when a family friend traveling in Prague spotted his friends and their kids smiling from an ad for a grocery delivery service.

The Smiths confirmed it was the their portrait the friend snapped a picture of around the world in Prague.

"Mario Bertuccio, who runs the Grazie store in Prague, said he found the image on the internet and thought it was computer-generated. He has promised to remove it and email an apology to the Smiths – and said if they lived nearer he would send them "a bottle of good wine". -Guardian

Now since I'm working on a new blog design and creating a logo/masthead, I've been searching for images to use via Google's Image search. Amid the clip art, illustrations, and AP photos, you will always find those personal pictures. Pictures of Dad's Birthday or whatnot; snaps of your wedding from your blog or networking site that become images someone can use as easy as they can click Save As.

On the heels of the "Facebook Flap Over Ad Photos" rumors that went viral earlier this week i think i'm going to have to figure out the best way to protect photos that are out there and be more cautious about how much I share on social sites like facebook. I've set my pictures to be visible only to people in my friend list, and I think that means you cant find pictures of my kids online, but again i'm not sure.

I want to be able to post pics of my kids here on my blog, but at the same time, i want to be able to prevent people from right-clicking and downloading any image. Ill have to ask Hillel if he know's how to do that....

Do you worry about who can take your family photos? Do you do anything to protect those images?

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

steph — 2009-07-28T13:42:22-07:00

Like my hero, Chelsea Handler, I took an internal oath not to talk about The Hills celebutards Scary-Flesh-Colored-Beard and Vapid Blonde (or Herpes Simplex I and II as Chelsea calls them), and those two exploitative parents and their 8 poor kids. Especially Ed-Hardy-Douche. I stopped posting about them on facebook sometime during the beginning of the end and haven't posted here since october a year ago.

However, I'm breaking that oath to say that just when you thought The-Man-Ed-Hardy-Threw-Up-On had reached the bottom of the dumb barrel, he out-dumbs himself and makes it a little more clear that Kate had another really big kid to deal with during their marriage.

Recently Jon was quoted insisting that he's going to tone things down a bit now because "I don't want my kids Googling me".

"It's crazy," he tells Usmagazine.com. "I don't want [8-year-old twins] Mady and Cara Googling me, and I have to explain [a photo] and lose that trust between my children. No, it's dumb. Or explain it to my ex, Kate. Or explain to anybody what's going on."

Am I the only one who remembers this guy saying exactly this aaaaaaaaages ago when the first whispers of discontent began to surface? For that matter, do you think granting an interview with People Magazine and allowing them to take pictures of you and your girlfriend (20 days after officially breaking it off!!) is really in line with your supposed 'fear'? REALLY?

Doing a 'very special divorce' episode isn't going to be real fabulous for those kids years and years from now when they're watching it on YouTube, but" Ed Hardy's walking accident" running around like a college frat boy in the Playboy Mansion isn't going ensure that the kids wont be Googling all SORTS of fun things about daddy...or that they aren't already, as Jon own 'fears' illustrate.

I'm not talking about this crazy hot mess anymore after this. I just couldn't hold back this time - this much Stupid in on place makes my brain short out.

How can I get songs off my Apple iPhone?

steph — 2009-06-11T19:28:41-07:00

file this under: things you hope never to need to do

so a little over a week ago, my macbook was stolen. i don't know if its because i'm unnaturally attached to my mac (have you ever met a mac owner who wasn't?) or because as i searched through the car with a fine tooth comb and retraced my steps trying to find it, it began to dawn on me just how much i had lost.

the computer itself isn't worth a ton (new, it retails for $998.00), but the pictures and music were. as i was calling my insurance and H was calling the police to file a report i desperately tried to remember when i'd last backed up....well, anything. i remembered it had been sometime early 2008, when my PC went to data heaven and some wizard at a computer 'hospital' was able to save most of my pictures and music, the only things i really cared about on the hard drive anyhow.

since then i'd accumulated over a year's worth of pictures (so many with the kids) and enough music to make me nauseous at the thought of replacing it. the pictures are priceless and i'm sure that there are going to be quite a few that i will not be able to replace. lost and gone forever....

I suffered under the arrogance (or delusion) that most computer users have about backing their computer up regularly. Most of us just assume nothing will go wrong: you wont see that familiar Blue Screen Of Death, your computer won't be stolen, etc. so really, what's the rush? we'd back it up later...

As for the music, it was not the first time i wished there was some way that apple could honor your digital download history if your data was lost. a way to back up files via some mac membership that would probably cost a pretty penny i'm sure. I wouldn't care, would you? I'd probably pay the ridiculous fee to have them back up my music online. does Apple Care cover lost music? anyone? that's not cheap either at nearly $300. No, I don't have Apple Care either, and yes, i should have that too...

Anyhow, this sounds so silly to me now, but i was scared to plug my iPhone into the new mac because i was afraid i would lose the newer music that my new computer missed. i figured the computer would want to sync and would overwrite my iphone's music.

i feel silly that it took me til yesterday to admit this to H, even more so because he pointed me to a feature in iTunes that allows you to transfer purchases to the new computer from any iPod or iPhone. Under the file menu there's this really simple feature that just whisked that music onto my new mac. between my iPod/Phone, i restored all of the music i had lost. Was this feature always here? Part of me thinks that it wasnt there until relatively recently, but i could be wrong.

though i'm still trying to piece together pictures (which unfortunately, didn't have as easy a resolution) that were lost by culling pictures from facebook, picasa, etc, i feel better that some of the priceless pictures are being restored.

i back up everything religiously now. on a mac, there's a Time Machine feature that backs up your computer whenever the external HD is plugged in. I don't know if there is a PC application that works the same way, but if you have a PC find out and then immediately back your hard drive up. don't wait and intend to do it later, seriously, do it. now.

Last night as i was backing up the newly restored music and i had the thought that the external hard drive will become something that we will grab in a fire, one kid under each arm and the hard drive in my teeth. the kids will carry mami's macbook between them.

Megan Fox's 50 Best (& Worst) Bon Mots

steph — 2009-06-11T13:24:38-07:00

Me thinks Megan Fox needs an agent and a handler or five so she doesn't keep embarrassing herself every time she opens her mouth! I tried to find one thing that stood out but honestly, my brain short circuited while i was reading on the sheer "WTF?!?!?!"-ness. Aren't all celebrities required to have someone 'managing' them so that they don't just say whatever pops into their heads? Tom Cruise's craziness started coming out after he fired his handler and look where his career is now. Megan Fox is stupidly hot, but i also think she might need 'people' to help her from losing what momentum she's got so far.. Read for yourself....

no hay....

steph — 2009-06-10T14:56:06-07:00

[Havana, June 9. STR/AFP/Getty Images]

A Cuban woman asks for food with her ration book at a government store of the kind known as 'Bodegas', June 9, 2009, in Havana. The international economic crisis is forcing the Cuban government to reduce the supply of food, public transport and electricity in all the country, according to government officials. via Jezebel

color me amazed

steph — 2009-05-23T15:23:17-07:00

In Georgia, Segregation Endures on Prom Night.

i am left reading this article at a bit of a loss for words...but ill definately have something to say once i pick up my jaw from the floor....

iPhone test

steph — 2009-03-26T17:15:55-07:00

A mobile post test

Did Octuplets' mother do it for the fame and fortune?

steph — 2009-02-03T15:08:12-08:00

I wish I had been wrong about how this whole octuplet mom thing would go, but as the 'most sought after mom in the world' (so sayeth her publicist) the new octuplet mom, and mother of 14, is shopping around for a job as a parenting expert. If not that, then perhaps her own show.

All of the children are reported to be from the same sperm donor, though the identity of the doctor who performed the implementation is still unknown.

One very sad aspect was the dire financial situation her parents are in. With the births of a set of twins and 4 other children, her parents tried to help out and purchased a house for their single and unemployed daughter's growing family. A few years later they file for bankruptcy and are forced to move in with her and the children.

I really hope that she doesnt get a show. People should not be rewarded for littering children. It doesn't seem like this mother put much thought into how she was going to support 14 children - she's been unemployed and there is no 'father' to offer support. To hear all of the things this woman is supposedly asking for via her publicist, it seems as though she had this children with the aim of grabbing her own show and 15 minutes.

watch the video. see what you think.

New Mom of Octuplets Now has Fourteen Children

steph — 2009-01-31T17:35:36-08:00

You may have heard about the latest multiple birth to hit the headlines when on Monday a Los Angeles area woman gave birth to eight. Yes, you read right - eight. This astounding birth has caused a firestorm of debate regarding both the lack of regulation surrounding multiple births of this nature and what it means for the health and well-being of children born of such births.

The woman had six other children [ranging in ages from 2 to 7] before the set of eight, which were only the second set of octuplets recorded in the U.S. The babies' grandfather said Friday that his daughter wanted one more child and didn't expect this to happen.

Though specific details are scarce, CNN reported that the woman is a single mother living with her parents in southern California. Despite the grandfather's statement that his daughter only wanted 'one more child and didn't expect this to happen', the grandmother seemed to contradict that somewhat when she told the LA Times that her daughter underwent fertility treatments and had the eight fertilized embryos implanted last spring.

The births have medical ethicists expressing worry at the lack of regulations surrounding births of this nature, citing not only danger to the mother's health but also long term health risks for the babies as well that include "bleeding in the brain, intestinal problems, developmental delays and lifelong learning disabilities".

A quick search for any standard practices regarding embryo implantation was less that fruitful - many of the searches refered me to articles on new restrictions in Europe. Countries such as Italy and Germany lead the vanguard in Europe in this area with regulation that limits the number of embryos a mother can have safely implanted at one time to three.

That she carried eight fetuses does not necessarily mean eight embryos were implanted, Dr. Scott Slayden (Reproductive Biology Associates Atlanta, Georgia) said. Four to 5 percent of the time, an embryo will split. As few as five embryos could have given rise to the eight children, he said.

Other experts took care to highlight the fact that transferring eight embryos in an IVF cycle is beyond most professionally accepted guidelines.

I don't doubt the mother adores her children, but aside from the potential long-term affects, I wonder how 14 children can be adequately cared for financially and emotionally. I mean, I have two and sometimes I worry about how to balance the needs of my children with everything else. Multiple births like this are usually followed by short term support from the community, but what will happen when the goodwill drys up? "John & Kate Plus Eight" deals, where TLC covers much of the expenses of raising the children in addition to those vacations, don't come around every day.

I have never undergone fertility treatments and therefore don't know what it feels like to wrestle with the question of 'selective embryo reduction' after going through the physical and emotional rigors of fertility treatments and then IVF. I can only imagine how hard it would be to make that decision. Then again, one might wonder why a mother of six would require fertility treatments in the first place.

Though I can't imagine trying to wrangle eight newborns along with six kids (even with the help of her parents and a nanny) without going nuts, I'm glad both the mom and her newborns are doing well (breathing on their own a day after the birth).

I would be interested to hear what other people think. Do you think regulation to limit the number of embryos is a good thing? Do you think there are ethical concerns that should be considered?

And it was all yellow...

steph — 2009-01-27T22:47:17-08:00

Last week I was introduced to a phenomenon that bothers me more than a little bit and I'm not sure if its just me. Aidan and I went over to the Children's Playground in Golden Gate Park to enjoy the return of sunshine and balmy weather after a week of interminable rain and gray. While on the swings, I saw a boy, about 5, come out from a stand of trees that ran along the swings. As dad plopped him into the swing next to ours I overheard a mother next to us asked her son, "Did you go pee in the bushes?" in a way that one might ask "did you go in the potty?" They continued to remind their son that when he needed to go, he could just go....anywhere in the bushes.

I was sure for a moment that I misheard. I mean, I've only ever heard of this kind of thing twice before.
Once in the movie Kids, and once in a novel. One of my favorite books, The Nanny Diaries, touched on it when, during the mother/nanny hand-off at the park, the Nanny asks mom where the bathrooms are and mom answers, "Oh, anywhere." to the disbelief of the nanny.

Now Aidan is in the middle of potty training so i know what its like to be in desperate need of a bathroom, and yes, the closest bathroom to the Children's Playground could stand to be closer. However, it has never occurred to me for a single minute to tell my kid to go pee in the brush in public. Its never occurred to me that peeing outside is meant to be anything other than something you do on a long road trip when it just can't wait.

It has never, ever, crossed my mind to encourage my son to think that the outdoors is akin to the toilet at home and not try to help him become more aware of when he needs to go. If he thinks that he can drop and pee wherever we are, well, i don't see that playing too well when we are out anywhere there aren't bushes or trees handy. What do you want them to do when you're shopping at the supermarket? Wander away to the floral department? How exactly do you expect the kid to be able to recognize they have a full bladder with enough time to make it to the bathroom if, in any other situation you tell them they can just wait til the last minute and go in the bushes.

When we go out anywhere other than our home (during training) Aidan wears a pull-up just in case he doesn't make it to the bathroom in time. We still have bathroom breaks before and after and I check in with him throughout our playground visit. I wonder if parents should be teaching their boys (or girls) that its perfectly fine to whip it out in such a public place. And other than in a honest emergency (or camping), isn't it more than a bit counter productive to potty training to encourage and reinforce peeing outside?

Another part of the problem I have with the public peeing is that, more often than you'd think, there's no effort to shield, and there are often adults without children sitting on benches in plain view. I was similarly bothered over the summer when kids would routinely strip off bottoms as well as tops and then walk across the playground to play in the water fountain. Sure there are signs posted around the playground proclaiming that no adults without a child are allowed...but really, who's checking? I don't want to teach my son to be ashamed of his body, but I'm inclined to be more cautious about this type of behavior in public and err on the side of caution.

Having been through the potty training thing with my daughter, and now with Aidan, I don't buy the reasons parents give in defense of it. I sort of feel like the moms turn it into a "Tee hee, boys will be boys" thing. I am aware that boys often train later and with more difficulty, but still...if girls can survive without doing this, why can't boys? I'm probably reaching, but I think this is how we get frat boys peeing...well, anywhere.

A part of me (very small) can understand why mothers allow their kids to do this. It's easy. You don't have to get up and shlepp over to the nearest bathroom. You don't have to plan for an outing and bear in mind where the nearest bathroom is...because the bathroom is the nearest tree or fence. Reading different message boards about this little practice, parents even admitted to just letting their kids pee in their own yard...which, yeah its your yard but really? Is your kid going to magically understand when you suddenly ask them not to do that when you host a barbeque at your house?

I think it's inappropriate. It's disrespectful of everyone else who has to see it going on, smell it later, explain to their own kids why they're not allowed to do the same, etc. etc. More than that, where do we draw the line? Can 5-year-olds do it? How about 6? How about older? How about adults? I know there are a lot of things that little kids can do that become inappropriate at older ages, to be sure but I think it's more than appropriate to teach children to respect public property and other citizens' feelings. To me that means using a toilet, not any tree you feel like. I think is bizarre and inappropriate for it to be done in an urban, non-emergency situation.

Aidan is now nearly 3 1/2 and doing so well with training he's walking around in underpants whenever he's home or at daycare and he's got enough of an awareness of himself to let me know when he needs to go visit the bathroom....and he hasn't peed at the playground once.

The Birds & B-listers

steph — 2008-11-13T16:38:04-08:00

Before you have kids, you often have a general idea of what you want your parenting philosophy to be. After lots of careful thought, most of which is not based on any actual kid experience, you have definite ideas of how you want to raise your kids regarding everything from nutrition to television. Having "The Talk" about the birds and the bees with my kids was something that I figured I wouldn't have to think about doing for a few years yet, being that Jilli is 6 and Aidan is 3. Now I'm not so sure.

Jillian, like most little girls, loves all things Disney and, as a result, I became familiar with High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and the Cheetah Girls. I'm fluent in Disney in a way you can only really understand if you have a little girl. Perhaps that's why I'm a little tweaked about the latest Disney scandal involving Cheetah Girls Adrienne Bailon and bottomless pictures meant for her fiancee which were stolen from her laptop last week. If you don't have kids, or if you are blissfully unaware of celebrity 'news', you might not know that this is far from the first time Disney has found its squeaky-clean stars in the middle of a scandal.

Jillian was only 2 when the Vanessa Hudgens' scandal blew up and the nude/semi-nude pictures of a very underage High School Musical star hit the fan. The pics were apparently taken as a gift for her boyfriend Zac Efron. Obviously, in light of the $80 million dollar haul HSM3 saw opening weekend, the scandal hasn't had a lasting tarnish on the franchise or Hudgens. I personally am glad that Jillian isn't into HSM (its got too many 'kissy' scenes) right now and that she's too young to be able to google her Disney Idols like I can.

Then Miley Cyrus (daughter to Billy Ray "Achy-Breaky Heart" Cyrus and my daughter's absolute idol) revealed her "friendship" with the Daddy approved 20-year old Justin Gaston. I don't know about you, but personally the idea of my 15-year old daughter getting cozy with a twenty-year old is something that freaks me out. I don't care how Christian the guy may be or what her crazy daddy thinks - its still a felony.

Now Adrienne Bailon, known for her role in the Disney fabricated faux-girl group The Cheetah Girls, has found herself in a similar mess to the one Hudgens was in. Apparently while at JFK last week, someone stole Bailon's laptop and then ransomed it back for $1000...only to return it without the pictures.

As a parent, the fact that these starlets are appearing in the news for something other than the their wholesome talents bothers me and makes me wonder what, exactly, is going on over there at Disney?

Granted, the scandals themselves aren't shocking: Bailon is 25 and the pictures were supposedly intended for her fiancee; Hudgens, though underage when she took her nude pics, intended them for her teenage boyfriend. Yet for a girl who is a bit older, one who has grown up with a Disney vision of the world, it could be a bit of a revelation and make for some confused tweens.

Its a revelation that, since Jillian is still so young, she is thankfully not exposed to. If she were older we might be talking about these starlets in a different light. Jezebel touched on how a parent might approach older kids questions about these scandals and suggested that parents try to see it as a learning experience, asking kids to think about their own opinion without offering your own first and pointed out this might not be the scariest thing parents could face:

"for older kids, surely there are worse things than explaining that an actress is older than who she plays; that Hollywood is a rough place; and that, in any case, these were intended to be kept between grown-ups "who love each other." Really, when you think about it, it's a pretty PG way to introduce a child to the sordid."

via jezebel

I think for me, another component of this involves how much supervision there is in the kids life. When you let your kids browse the web without knowing where they're going or where they've been, they might stumble on something you don't want them to see. My kids will probably not have a computer in their rooms because I want their computer access, like their access to television in the home to happen in very public family spaces.

At least that's the plan.

budget beauty

steph — 2008-11-12T14:20:00-08:00

A few weeks ago, when H and i were watching yet another report about the depressed economy and layoffs, i pointed out that H's company (a prominent retail cosmetics company) should be pretty okay. I told him about the "lipstick rule" - something I'd first learned about at a Mary Kay/Avon-esque cosmetics party. The idea was simple: women will find ways to buy their favorite beauty products. in some cases it could be something as small as a lipstick that they budget in to buy. Yet that lipstick is more than a lipstick, its a way to feel beautiful and bring a little luxury into a budgeted lifestyle. At the same cosmetics party (held after the dot-bomb dropped) one woman talked about her mother saving pin money for a her favorite face cream during the Depression. I reasoned to H that his company might see a decline in sales but, if the Lipstick Rule held, it would probably not be so so bad.

Today H sent me an article today about the "Leading Lipstick Indicator", a term coined by Estée Lauder chairman Leonard Lauder (aka The Lipstick Index) after he saw a very specific trend occurring during financially turbulent years. During times like these most of us wouldn't consider buying couture because it costs too damn much; an $8 lipstick at Walgreen's hurts the wallet a whole lot less in comparison.

"History can be our guide here. As a Harvard professor explains: "The decade of the Great Depression, cosmetic sales increased 25 percent." After the downturn following Sept. 11, lipstick sales doubled."

What's the lipstick indicator say right now? As you might have guessed, lipstick sales have shot up 40% in the past few months in shades with price tags that run the gamut from budget to boutique. another facet of the Lipstick Indicator? Vibrant look-at-me red, apparently a shade that sees popularity during economic upswings, has given way to neutrals like pink, brown, and taupe.

So while many women and their families are cutting back, the lipstick represents inexpensive luxury - an innocent indulgence.

How do you treat yourself when the budget is tight? i like skin care products more so than lipstick but they are not going to be nearly as affordable. I have a friend who I hope can school me on how to make my own beauty products using ingredients like honey, avocado, egg, or epsom salt so can can have all the beauty of a day at the spa for pennies.

perhaps they should have rethought this...

steph — 2008-11-11T20:39:00-08:00

intermixed with all of the 'serious' literature on my bookshelf you will find more than a few chick-lit selections. one of them, Confessions of a Shopaholic, is going to be hitting theaters soon in what seems to be exquisitely bad timing. the heroine makes Carrie Bradshaw look positively frugal and Imeda Marcos' shoe collection look small. the series is total literary comfort food and from what i've seen of the trailer the movie seems to be much of the same in movie form...but will you watch it?

The movie isn't due to be released until next February but, considering the state of the economy, i'm not sure i want to watch anyone (even someone as adorable as Isla Fisher) rack up debt on Fifth Avenue. hrm. sounds like a movie that was pitched in better economic times.

It could make for some great escapist cinema - call it Prada by Proxy - but i think its a bit of a gamble. Confessions might end up coming off as more cautionary tale than romantic comedy....

Is "Confessions of a Shopaholic" inappropriate given the economic climate? - Entertainment on Shine.