Let's start with work.

Last weekend saw the long awaited performance of bZents latest murder at Stapleford Park.

"Shakedown at Shackleford Manor" was a hoot.  I cannot remember us being so well prepared for a show and it really rocked.  We had about fifty guests, all dressed up in 1920's clobber and they really entered into the swing of things.  Mind you, the fact that they had been drinking pretty solidly for 24 hours also contributed to the spirit of things.  That and that only one team got it right!

Doing it all again tomorrow night, so hopefully it will go as well, if not better.

So what else is happening on the work front?

I have a new page on the Class In A Coat website.  I have worked out how to put in a guest page.  A bit dodgy I know - who knows what people will or will not put on.  Still I like to live dangerously every now and then!  So dear reader, drop into the above link and leave a comment now and then!

The really big news professionally is that Atul Lakhani of the fabulous Sanjay Foods has asked me to be Toastmaster at his son's wedding next Saturday.  I am thrilled and honoured.  Sanjay's work all over the country, including the West End.  Atul could have asked anyone.  The wedding is at The City Rooms in Leicester.

 So back to the hub of the universe that is Frisby-on-the-Wreake.  The village is all a flutter this week because The FrisbyPlayers are putting on Willy Russell's "Our Day Out"

The pub is putting on a pre-theatre meal.  That's Fridays in Frisby!

And now to chickens.  I was going to put in a video about collapsing goats, but the chicken story has come to my attention.

There is a chap in the village whom we shall call James for no other reason than it is his name.  James is a family man and a lawyer (What do lawyers and semen have in common? - One in 50 million makes a human).  He acquired four chickens for his family.  They were called Korma, Drumstick, Colonel Sanders and Fajita.

The idea was that they would be pets for the kids and have the added bonus of providing a few eggs.  

James waited and waited for a number of weeks for his first egg.

They were cockerels.

This sealed their fate.  James donated them to the pub for service to the good burghers of the village. Tom the chef took the first live bird out of the box and stretched its neck.  As he turned around to get the second bird the first bird decided to do a Lazarus and came back to life.  Not only this it decided to blow this as a game of soldiers and tried to escape by running around the kitchen.  Unfortunately the near death experience caused a loosening of the bowels, not just for Tom the chef, but for the rooster too.  

Eventually all birds were caught and dealt with and the kitchen received an extra special deep clean.  Just as well, I'm eating there tonight!

Just to finish then, Jack is no longer a plumber.  Things didn't work out and he is off to Meribel for nine weeks working in an hotel again.  He's really excited about it, but I shall miss him!

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

Jack off to Meribel

Wedding show at Quorn

Falling over goats

Below is a clip taken from my mate Thomas' website.  Tom runs a seriously cool shop called "Working Class Heroes".  It is brilliantly funny and is the type of thing that appeals to Tom.  Say no more.

"Big Fat Gypsy Weddings" is back on TV and, as ever is great value for money.  I'm not sure if they will ever need the services of a Toastmaster, but I have to say it would be quite an experience!

It's all been very last minute, but I'm off to the wedding show at The Quorn Country House Hotel on Sunday.  I know very little about it, but it is nice and local, and reasonably priced.  Nothing ventured......

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

The snow caused havoc and most of the day was pretty quiet. Most of the local kids were up on the Observatory hill sledging, and who can blame them?  However, as the day went on more and more people arrived and there ended up with a brilliant parade and a superb fireworks display over the river.

 I stood in front of the speakers singing at the top of my voice.

It has been a quiet week for Class In A Coat, the snow seems to have stopped everything.  The big news is that I have learnt how to put video onto my Toastmaster website. Seriously cool!  Now I just have to find video to put on it!

The snow is still here and is all rather stunning.  This is the view from my bedroom window.

Isn't that just fabulously cool?  St Thomas of Canterbury Church in that centre of the civilised world that is.... Frisby-on-the-Wreake.

Finally, every now and then you come across things that put life into perspective.  Watch this video clip.

Live Long and be Toastmastered

Yes, gentle reader I'm back from my holiday and it was great!!  Well the skiing and the weather and the company was.  The food in the chalet was more than a little suspect, but then hey-ho.  I skied nearly 300 kilometres in the week.  Not bad for an old man.

It was a great holiday, crowned by the moment when I zipped down to a lift and a woman asked me if I was Italian.  I had hoped it was the style of my dress and the panache of my skiing, but it might also have been because I pinched her bum!

Bit of racial stereotyping there!  ho-hum!

The life of your favourite (a presumption there) Toastmaster  could go cosmic if....... I wasn't so busy already.  It has broken my heart this week.  I have had five good enquiries, three of which are for dates I am already working.  I have passed these on to colleagues.  

However..........   one of the jobs I am able to do I am really chuffed with.  I do quite a lot of work for Sanjay Foods, and I have been asked to Toastmaster at the wedding of the Atul Lakhani's (the boss) niece.  I am extremely honoured.  I love Asian weddings at the best of times, this one will be really special.

The other wedding is for Adam and Louise.  I met them both at the excellent and intimate West Bridgford wedding show.  I had a meeting with Adam and his brilliant mum on Monday and it's all systems go.  One of the good things is that it is at another new venue, the Cockliffe Hotel

So that's one to look forward to next October.

And now, as they say in all the best blogs, for something completely different.

War Horse.

It is a lot to do with horses indeed, but more to do with horse s**t than anything else.

It was dreadful.

Awful.

Mind-numbing.

Michael Morpurgo admitted than when the book came out it was not a success but the interest was raised by the phenomenal success of the stage show. I wanted to see the show, but after seeing the Spielberg treatment, I have lost interest.

Dear readers if you have a couple of hours plus to spare and it's on.... go to bed instead, or spend time clicking on and off Class In A Coat website to get my count up.  Believe me it will be time better spent.

Well gentle reader I will finish now.  At the weekend I am working at one of my favourite places, The Old Royal Naval College in Greenwich, braving the impending snow to get there.

Live Long and be Toastmastered

The news has been dominated this week by the capsizing of a modern Italian cruise liner off the coast of the island of Gila.  The Costa Concordia went over off the Tuscany coast and, not surprisingly there has been hell to pay, much of it by the captain.

Apparently he left the ship early.  He is in the mire big time.

All of this brings to mind the quote from the divine Noel Coward

"I always travel on Italian ships, there's none of this 'women and children' first nonsense."

Many a true word said in...........

And so on to more prosaic matters - being a Toastmaster!  An absolutely brilliant wedding show at the Kingpower Stadium last weekend.  It was very busy and some very positive conversations were held. In fact I had two enquiries by the time I reached home and then a third yesterday. Bring it on!  Of course the conversations were all good, but you can only tell how good they are when the signatures are on the bottom line. 

Fingers crossed.

I was greatly amused when someone came up and asked me how much it would cost to hire a tail suit and top hat!

Off to Castle Donnington tonight to do some storytelling with my mate Jim from the James Joyce Band.  It's a repeat booking and last year it really seemed to go well.  It's a fairly chilled and a little bit of a boozy evening based around music (Jim) and stories (me).

And then it's HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes folks ther won't be a blog next Friday, I shall be in Arabba in the fabulous Italian Dolomites, skiing my little socks off.  

I can't wait!

Live Long And Be Toastmastered!

...there just seems to be so much going on.

On the sad side, two funerals this week.  One for my dear old Uncle Bernard.  That's another one of life's rocks pulled away; and the other for Dave North of this parish, whom I have known well since I moved into the village.  Dave was a great character.  Amongst other things he was the holder of three TT Trophy Replicas.

He raced there, one of the most dangerous motorcycling races ever.

Besides these two events I've been frantically writing a murder for performance at Stapleford in a couple of weeks, and preparing for this weekend's wedding fair at the Kingpower Stadium. The home of the mighty Leicester City Football Club

It is the brilliant Asian Celebrations wedding show.  

It is always a big old do and hopefully there will be some work from it.

Talking of work, at the moment it's like buses - there's loads coming along all at once and everyone wants the same dates.  This is incredibly frustrating.

but there it is....

Well gentle reader, I must return to my murder.  Have a great week.

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

(If he's inimitable, why do people keep trying to imitate him?)

Anyway, a very short entry this week, as although the week seems to have been very busy, there's not a lot to write about.

The annual FOFFC New Year's Day Footie match went well considering how hungover everyone was.  The highlight was when Dan tackled himself and fell over in the first five minutes.  The icing on the cake would have been if Swannie had booked him!

Last week I mentioned the Toastmaster job at the Barcelo Angel Hotel in Cardiff.  Well it's for Louise and Ben and they are having a vows renewal ceremony and a party.  I spoke to Louise earlier in the week and the booking has been confirmed.  The huge "up" is that much of the music is being played by Paul Roberts.  Now many of you may be thinking "Well, the Paul Roberts I know can't play a thing", but this particular Paul Roberts used to be lead singer in "The Stranglers". 

Now these Stranglers are not an East End gang no, these Stranglers were a particulalry excellent pop combo from the late seventies/early eighties.

So that's one to look forward to in October.

Well good people, I will finbish now.  A week of funerals coming up. Sad.

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

How do they know?

Well, Christmas is over and a fine time was had by all.  On Boxing Day went to see 42nd Street at the Leicester Curve. 

It was brilliant!!!

The music was wonderful and the big set-piece dance routines were GREAT!

It was a terrific show that I recommend wholeheartedly.

Christmas work is almost over.  It has been really good - some lovely audiences and some cracking shows.  Just one last push now to New Year.

Toastmaster work has been coming in.  It looks as though I have a fabulous job lined up in the Barcelo in Cardiff later in the 2012.

It's a party for Louise to renew her vows and it looks as though it's going to be a great do.  Sinatra and Elvis impersonators and SHOWGIRLS!!

For some reason I am really looking forward to this one.

Gentle readers, I must finish now, without mention of the Great Frisby Christmas Curry, where a veritable tranche of good citizens of this fair village crossed the border to Asfordby, led by Councillor Kim IL Eddie Hutch.  Another time perhaps.

A Happy New Year To All

Live Looong And Be Toastmastered.

Last saturday was the annual Christmas bash in the Village Hall.

Absolutely brilliant!  I have long maintained that the quality of the food and the music and so on was secondary to the company and the fun.  The blokes all brush up pretty well and the women all look stunning.

However.........................

Last year this belief was pushed to the limit a bit, particularly with the food.

However........................

A huge improvement in the food this year, it was pretty good and as ever the company was brilliant. In particular there were some fantastic shapes made on the dancefloor by Ginger Bob, Murph and Gary Veasey.  There were some sore heads amongst the good burghers of the centre of the world that is Frisby-on-the-Wreake .

I've just received a bit of a shaker.  A dear friend, Hanneke, who has featured in these pages a number of times as a member of the Crazy Dutch Regulars.

Hanneke has discovered cancer in one of her kidneys.  It is only in the one kidney and that is being removed after Christmas.

Fingers crossed.

Toastmaster enquiries are still coming in.  An Asian wedding for Preeti in Leeds and a fabulous looking party for Louise in Cardiff in October.  This latter has got lookalikes and show girls, the lot.  It could be a hoot. 

Well gentle readers, I will finish now.  All that remains is for me to wish you all a Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas!!!

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

Impressed huh?

I knew you would be.  Regular readers I know will instantly recognise the fact that I was Toastmaster for Sheena's wedding at the delightful Ettington Park back along in September and Hannah was one of her bridesmaids.  It was a great bash, and Sheena has promised to send through some pictures and a video.  Looking forward to them.

Anyway, almost as important as Sheena was the Sultan of Brunei.   

He was at the Four Seasons too. 

Gayna sorted out his bodyguard.  There were a lot of them, but they were blocking the corridor on the way to the ladies'.  She marched up to them and scattered them as if they were chaff in the wind. They did not stand a chance

A thought.

The Hadron Collider

The Higgs Boson Particle

Image via Wikipedia

If these blokes in Cern can't find the Higgs Boson particle, why don't they get a woman to look for it?  Works every time here.

Bookings are on the up.  I've taken two bookings over the past two days. One is at The Sculpture Gallery, on of my favourite venues.  It comes from the wedding of Kim and Leanne I did there at Easter a couple of years ago, and the other is at a new venue for me, The Lords of the Manor at Upper Slaughter.  It's another European/Asian wedding (I seem to be doing more and more of these) for around 150 people.  Should be good.

One of the things I have mentioned over the past few weeks is the local election.  It took place yesterday and the one and only Eddie Hutch came out the winner by 25 votes.  This is a seismic shift in local politics.  In the past a pig wearing a blue rosette would have been voted in here. It is really causing quite a stir.  I love it.

Finally a conundrum.

A very popular BBC programme at the moment is "Life's Too Short".  It really is very funny.  It's all about a dwarf called Warwick Davis.

There's someone on the village who is a big-size dead-ringer for Warwick.  That is this week's task should you choose to accept.

Live Long And Be Toastmastered