Radical Womanhood

Thankful for a Cow

2009-11-27T13:32:00-05:00

Of all the blogs I read, I deem Ali's African Adventures as one of the very best. I appreciate her voice and her viewpoint as she writes about being a pediatric nurse aboard Africa Mercy, the world's largest non-governmental floating hospital. This week, she has posted a series of entries that are perfect for Thanksgiving, entries that coincide with the impending departure of the Africa Mercy from Benin in West Africa.

The story starts with Wasti and his tenuous grasp on life:

It started last night when, in a truly symmetrical end to my day, I got wind of yet another baby on the dock. I headed out into the damp night air to find Wasti, a little one who had come to the ship from way up north earlier this week to have his cleft lip repaired. He was too sick, though, and so he was sent away to a local hospital. We knew it was too late, that there was no way he'd be well in time. And yet there he was, his eyes bright, his skin hot, but not burning like it had been. We brought him on the ship.

All through the evening we pondered, weighing life and death, trying to decide what to do. You see, Wasti is not a normal little boy. As far as we can figure, he was born with a condition known as holoprosencephaly. Normally this is fatal, but the fact that he just had a little cleft lip pointed to a less severe case. Either way, this little boy has a brain that is not normal, and a life expectancy even lower than usual here in West Africa.
As Wasti's story unfolded through no less than four translators, our path became clear. His mama is strikingly beautiful, her face covered in tribal tattoos. She has two children; Wasti has a big sister who was born with some kind of eye trouble. Much of the family's money was spent on her treatment, and when Wasti was born broken, too, his mama was cast out. Abandoned by her husband and shunned by her village, she had nowhere to go. Sending her home with a baby still broken on the outside, whatever might be happening inside, just wasn't an option, because unless he was repaired, there was no home to go to.
And so we prayed. We prepared little Wasti for surgery and we prayed strong prayers to Jehovah Rophi, the God Who Heals. There are currently three pediatric ICU nurses on board the ship, so the three of us got together and worked out who would be on call for all the shifts over the next few days, should anything go wrong. I drew tonight, and so I donned scrubs and booties and headed into the OR to see how the surgery was going and whether or not I was likely to be needed.

Ali and her colleagues had as much sympathy for Wasti's mother as for her child:

Wasti is doing better than anyone expected. He spends much of his time propped up, sultan-like, on a pile of the softest blankets we've scrounged from whatever linens haven't been washed and packed away for the sail. His mama dresses him in a motley assortment of clothes, and she makes sure to tuck the pillows securely around him when she leaves his side.
Today, Wasti was also wearing eyeliner.
This might seem strange, wrong even, that a six-month old baby should be sporting charcoal rims under both his wide, black eyes. Over here, though, it means everything. It means that his mama has decided that he's hers, decided that she wants to mark him as belonging to her, with all her wild, tattooed beauty. It means that, for the first time in his short life, she sees his future.
Over the course of the day today, Wasti's story was fleshed out, the pitiful bones we'd heard on Friday taking on heartwrenching shape. His mama is one of many wives. I'm assuming her husband is well-off, because when each wife came to stay, she was given a cow and a small piece of land, a pittance with which to scrape out a livelihood for whatever offspring she would produce for him. Wasti's mama made nothing but broken babies, and one after the other she sold her land and her cow, trying to find the money to put together the pieces of her shattered children.
It wasn't enough. It's never enough, here, and so she was turned away, sent from the village. I'm guessing that the sum total of her possessions is represented in the two small bags and several bowls that are tucked beneath Bed Twenty right now.
The ship was her last chance. She came on the razor's edge of too late; his would be the very last surgery of over six thousand for the year, and we almost said no. Go away. Your baby is too sick. He's too broken, just like everyone has always told you. No.
But instead, in the corner of B Ward today, there's a tiny family on its way back from the darkness. Wasti's mama looked hopeful as she told us that she's almost sure that they'll let her back into the village. That there's more than a good chance that she can go home again. I just have to figure out how much a new cow is going to cost so we can take up a collection for that little boy's mama. But all that will come in time.

Yesterday, Ali posted her Thanksgiving entry, listing many things she could be grateful for, including the patients she got to know during her time aboard the ship:

And somewhere, on a bus heading north, will be a mama and her little baby, his huge black eyes staring out at the world around him, his lip held together with a row of tiny knots. Somewhere in her possession, hidden away from prying eyes and thieving hands, that mama will have a little plastic bag filled with her future: the money to buy a new cow.

Today, I am thankful for Wasti's mama. I'm thankful that she sold everything she had to come to the ship, seeking a new life for her baby. I'm thankful that she kisses his face and rubs lotion on his skin and patiently feeds him every three hours. I'm thankful that she almost didn't accept the small sum of money we've already given her, the money she will need when we drop her off at the bus station tomorrow morning before the sun has risen. It's too much, she told her nurse. You have already done too much for me.

I'm thankful for all the people here on the ship who heard the story of a broken baby and jumped at the chance to be a part of his healing. I'm thankful that I get to be there, later this evening, when we give her the money for her new cow.

I'm so thankful for that cow.

As Thanksgiving weekend rolls on, I'm thankful for Ali and her colleagues aboard Africa Mercy. Well done, Ali! May you and Phil, your Husband of Joy, have a safe trip home for the holidays. Photos: Ali with a patient (top), Wasti before his surgery (middle), Wasti and his mother, ready to go home (bottom).

Countdown to Thanksgiving

2009-11-24T14:25:00-05:00

Our family's Thanksgiving celebration always has a twofold celebration: the holiday itself and my father's birthday, which often falls on the actual day of Thanksgiving. It makes me doubly thankful for the blessing of my family.

So as I start the Thanksgiving countdown, being grateful for my father is near the top of the list. But at the tip-top of the list is my gratitude for the One who is rich in mercy. This refers to one of my favorite Scripture passages, one that vividly portrays a mercy-drenched gospel:

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us,when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:4-7)

It's not just in the coming ages that we see the riches of God's grace to us. In each breathing moment, we experience foretastes of that outpouring. This is what we celebrate in giving thanks and why we count our blessings. I can only present a partial list, but here are some of the things I am grateful for this Thanksgiving:

My incredibly supportive and loving parents and the stamina and health they continue to enjoy

My sisters for their friendship, support, laughter, patience, and listening ears

Answered prayers for the safe recovery from surgery for several family members

My entire family for their many expressions of support for my new company, Citygate Films

My pastor, Isaac Hydoski, and his wife, Kelly, for their oversight and care for my public ministry

The team of talented men and women who worked with me on Citygate's projects and gave so generously of the visual gifts they possess: Michael Hartnett, David Altrogge, Carissa & Andrew Gallo, Drew Painter, Lucien Dowdell, Dallas Taylor, Roger Hooper, Peter Bang, Daniel McNeill, and Jen Thompson.

My faithful friends who have stayed in touch with their work-aholic buddy and patiently listened to her new venture anxieties (miss you all!)

My personal trainer, Hector, who took a woman with many injuries and pushed her to good health

Pat Ennis and Tommy Hill at Sovereign Grace Ministries, who still let me run around the world to document God's grace in short films (thanks for the ongoing contract!)

For the cast who willingly joined me on a three-week adventure in Africa (Gerald Veasley, Sumi Tonooka, John Blake Jr., Butch Reed, Rosella Washington, and Doug Hayes)

For the safety and prosperity that we enjoy in this nation (even in a recession, we are very blessed to have more than many others)

And last, but not least, for you! Thank you for reading my blog and books and for the many supportive emails I have received. I appreciate it a great deal!

  Happy Thanksgiving!

The No-Vinegar Salad

2009-11-20T12:37:00-05:00

I'm planning ahead for Thanksgiving. I'm preparing my soul by reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss's book, Choosing Gratitude, and planning my menu for the most healthful contributions to the family meal. I am usually assigned the salad each year--and my brother-in-law has made it clear that this means all veggies. No frou-frou fruit and nuts! (I love apple-and-walnut or pear-and-pecan salads, but I know better than to bring them now!)

This year, I'm bringing an even more healthful salad. I've been trying to eat more vegetables each day, which means a a lot of salads on my busy schedule. Normally that would bore me to tears, but a friend tipped me off to three items that have become Must-Haves for me. I actually crave salads now when I can include these items. I think it's because I'm not eating vinegar-based salad dressings, which were too tart for me. Instead I make salads with a wide variety of lettuce, spinach, and other vegetables, and I include cabbage or broccoli slaw (the diced vegetables, not the mayonnaise part). I've historically avoided cabbage, but it surprisingly adds a lot of flavor and crunch to a salad! The two secret ingredients are Tessamae's salad dressing (available at Whole Foods) and Spike seasoning. Tessamae's is an organic dressing made from olive oil, garlic, lemon, and mustard. I put a bit in the salad, toss it well to coat each leaf, and then sprinkle sea salt and Spike on it. You don't need to drench the salad to make it taste great! If you can't find Tessamae's near you, I know the dressing can be replicated. Some of my friends now make it at home. At the rate I go through these bottles, I better learn how to do it, too!

Anyway, that's today's commentary. You never know whether you are going to find on this blog! But contrary to the entries you sometimes find here, I don't ponder global or cultural issues all day. Some days, I just appreciate a good salad.

The Girl Effect and Recommended Films

2009-11-18T00:05:00-05:00

There's a book that is attracting a lot of attention for its promotion of "the girl effect"--meaning that if social entrepreneurs invest in women and children in developing nations, there is a big pay-off. It is called Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. (I have mentioned this book before on this blog.)

Though not written from a Christian perspective, it is still a provoking book and has some fair estimates of the work Christians are doing in this field. I recently reviewed it for Christianity Today--you can read that review on their site. Here is a synopsis:

Husband and wife journalists Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn use Half the Sky to promote the idea that the key to fighting poverty and to unleashing economic success in developing nations is to economically empower women and girls.
Chapter by chapter, the authors introduce readers to individual women in various corners of the world who have overcome oppression, injustice, and abuse—and the social entrepreneurs who helped them to do so. Their central premise is not about women's rights as often defined in Western discussions, but outright and lethal disregard for the value of women and girls: "The global statistics on the abuse of girls are numbing. It appears that more girls have been killed in the last fifty years, precisely because they were girls, than men were killed in all of the wars of the twentieth century. More girls are killed in this routine 'gendercide' in any one decade than people were slaughtered in all the genocides of the twentieth century."
From sex-selective abortions, "honor killings," acid attacks, bride burnings, sex trafficking, and forced prostitution to mass rape, genital cutting, needless maternal mortality, fistulas, and impediments to education and literacy, women and girls in the developing world face real trauma simply for being female.

I've been addressing most of the topics raised in Half the Sky on this blog for quite some time. But I notice that whenever I speak to women around the country, a sizable portion of the audience is unfamiliar with some of the terrible injustices women face in developing nations. Admittedly, many of these audience members are in terrifically busy seasons of life, so that is not said with any condescension. There is waaaay too much information available these days to track every issue. However, for quite some time, I've wanted to compile a list of documentaries that tackle these topics in order to help us all understand the plight of women in other nations. So here is the start of that list:

A Walk to Beautiful, about the hospital in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, established by missionaries to provide free surgeries for fistula repair, primarily serving women who ruptured due to obstructive labor.
Lumo, about the Christian-based HEAL Africa hospital in war-torn Goma, Congo, that also offers free fistula repair, primarily serving women who are victims of war rapes.
Mrs. Goundo's Daughter, about the tradition of genital cutting among young Muslim girls in Mali and how one mother fought to protect her daughter.
Afghan Star, about the oppression women in Afghanistan endure, framed through the Afghan equivalent of "American Idol."
As We Forgive, a documentary about the reconciliation movement in Rwanda following the 1994 genocide.
At the End of Slavery, a report about modern slavery that runs the gamut from child laborers to sex trafficking, was produced by the International Justice Mission.

Most of these films are available on Netflix and other outlets. The exceptions are the last two films, and details about how to obtain copies of those films are on the filmmaker's linked sites.

If you have any other documentaries about women to recommend, please leave a comment!

Operation Christmas Child

2009-11-16T12:14:00-05:00

Today starts the 2009 National Collection Week for the Samaritan's Purse holiday outreach, Operation Christmas Child. My church will be participating again this year. During a planning meeting with a church member who works for this charity, I found out that when you give a Christmas box donation online this year, you will be able to find out the destination of your shoe box gift. I think that's a great idea for connecting your own children with children around the world!

If you're not familiar with Operation Christmas Child, the essential idea is to " target="_blank">decorate a shoebox and fill it with gifts for age- and gender-appropriate gifts for a needy child in another nation: something for school, something to play with, something to wear, a personal hygiene item, and maybe some hard candy.

I found this helpful video online, made for Samaritan's Purse Canadian supporters. It does a great job of outlining the basics of this program.

If you are interested in doing this with your children or another group, please keep in mind that the collection ends November 23 here in the U.S.

Wonder Woman, Men, and Moore

2009-11-11T12:19:08-05:00

Have you ever heard someone open a sermon with a story about the Wonder Woman television show? Probably not. But it's even more unlikely that you know why this '70s television show was developed and why Wonder Woman made the cover of Ms. magazine. There was more to it than mere entertainment.

This is just one of the intriguing things you will learn if you listen to Dr. Russell Moore's plenary message from Five Points Community Church's Biblical Manhood and Womanhood conference. I've heard many messages on Ephesians 5 and what God is seeking in the relationships of men and women, but, for me, Dr. Moore's message included many epiphanies. I trust you will learn much from it, too.

We Like "Free"!

2009-11-09T00:05:00-05:00

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International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church

2009-11-06T00:06:28-05:00

This Sunday, November 8, is the International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church. I'll be with the ladies of Alistair Begg's church, Parkside Church, on Sunday. But I trust we will have time to join fellow believers around the world in interceding for our brothers and sisters in more hostile areas.

If you'd like to know more about the persecuted church and why this day has been set aside to pray, watch the brief video below.

Media Matters

2009-11-04T16:22:26-05:00

Many people who know me as an author and women's ministry speaker are often curious about why I have started a film company. They seem to assume there is a split focus there. Perhaps there is, but because I see media in a more holistic way, one of the reasons I started Citygate Films was to influence the diet, so to speak, of what is being consumed in mainstream media. I also have a heavy concern that the "screen generation" is being fed more harmful images and narratives than uplifting ones.

For example, this is how my day has gone so far. I checked the news, and saw stories about a 15-year-old girl who was brutally gang-raped by by anywhere between 7 to 10 men outside of a high school while at least a dozen others stood by and watched it without interfering, and a sadist who allegedly raped, murdered, and stowed the bodies of at least 10 women in his home. Those are just the stories in CNN's headlines--the tip of the iceberg nationally. At the same time, there are numerous local stories about child sex abuse and murder that didn't even make the national news.

Next, I checked my Twitter feed, which carried news of many non-profit organizations (Christian and mainstream) that are working to improve the conditions of women and girls around the world. High on their list of concerns is sex trafficking and enslaved prostitutes.

I then started work by listening to a media panel about "transmedia" efforts--telling a single story across a variety of media platforms. One of the panelists spoke without shame of working with a clothing company that sponsored an interactive game about a stripper. The gamer controls the stripper's actions, which this media expert cheerfully said allowed the player to either make the stripper engage "in the most depraved actions" or "save her." It's an odd sponsorship, given the fact that the sponsor's clothes aren't seen very often. (The clothing company wasn't mentioned in this panel, but I wish it had been so that I would not patronize their stores or product.)

Listening to this panel, I wanted to scream: Why can't we connect the dots here? Why is it that as a culture in the developing world, we put our heads in the sand and vociferously protest there is no connection between the media we consume and our actions? Yet, other studies show that when television is introduced to new areas of developing nations, there is a measurable change in behavior. Do we think we are somehow immune to the effect of media in our own nation? Do we think we can allow people the fantasy of degrading and brutalizing others (especially women) and argue that this thought life will not eventually affect behavior?!

What can we do to change this thinking? I want to encourage each of you to become media activists. Please protest media that undermines the safety and dignity of women and girls, in particular, through social media and your wallets. Teach your children to understand that what they feast their eyes upon will become normalized to them. Let retail vendors know of your displeasure. And please support media that challenges these denigrating, dehumanizing trends by producing edifying content. I'm not arguing for cheesy, unsophisticated content in the name of being positive, but well-produced content that elevates human dignity.

That's what I'm trying to do through Citygate Films. I have three documentaries in various stages of production, with one nearly finished with principal photography. A NOTE OF HOPE explores the idea that music reveals a lot about a culture. I'll never forget what one of the African-American musicians in this film said after touring the Cape Coast slave castle in Ghana: If only our young adults could understand that they are descendants of those who survived these brutal dungeons, they wouldn't accept prison as a normal passage of life. One of the earliest song forms in America was the traditional Negro spiritual, songs that spoke of faith and trust in a just God who would redeem such harsh circumstances for His own glory. Those songs eventually became the code for the Underground Railroad and eventually the soundtrack for the civil rights movement. But now we have songs that celebrate thug culture and sexist, demeaning views of women. The jazz musicians who participated in this film want to see music used to elevate humanity, not celebrate our darkest drives. And their commitment to use their music to do so is the theme of this documentary.

P.S. I'd appreciate your prayers as I continue working on this documentary. And if you are so inclined, I'd also appreciate your financial support. You can make a contribution to this film and in return, receive perks ranging from a special thanks credit in the movie, a copy of the finished film and soundtrack, to an invitation to the film's premiere with the cast and crew. Thanks for your consideration and for spreading the word about A NOTE OF HOPE!

(Photo: Filming at the Cape Coast Castle. The entrance to the male dungeon is at the far left. The female dungeon was behind me as I took this photo. Up to 1000 people were kept for months in each dungeon in darkness and human waste, with little food, until the survivors were shipped out to the U.S. slave markets.)

Portraits of Gratitude

2009-11-03T12:43:16-05:00

In her latest book, Choosing Gratitude, Nancy Leigh DeMoss writes, "Undeniable guilt, plus undeserved grace, should equal unbridled gratitude." That's the gospel response in a nutshell. And recently, I've had two occasions to be overwhelmed emotionally by people who emulate that kind of gratitude.

About three blocks from my church is a spot where an apparently homeless or impoverished Hispanic man with arm braces is often seen begging. The first time I encountered him, my mind was in a whirl with all the challenges of starting (and funding) a new business. Money was tight and I was acutely conscious of the burdens of cash flow. I was in my car with a friend, who was talking on the phone, when we pulled up to the intersection where this man stood with his cup. I inched the car closer to him and offered him the last of the money in my wallet. And instead of the perfunctory thanks that I am accustomed to receiving from the beggars who populate my area, this man immediately lifted his eyes and feeble arms toward heaven and loudly began expressing his gratitude in Spanish.

"Gloria a Dios!" he exclaimed. "Gracias, Senor! Muchas gracias!"

This heartfelt display of thanks went on for quite some time. And I burst into tears immediately. My friend in the car, who hadn't been paying attention to this scene, was puzzled by the tears and didn't know why I was crying so profusely. It took me awhile to explain it to him. In fact, every time I tried to tell this story for weeks afterward, I welled up.

I thought maybe I was being an emotional female until another friend of mine told me about meeting this beggar. He and his wife were driving through the same intersection when they encountered him. And they, too, were moved to tears by his gratitude.

What a powerful effect true gratitude has on others!

Then yesterday, I had the privilege of being the bearer of an anonymous gift to a couple in my church. Someone else among my friends knew this family and how the husband had recently been diagnosed with ALS and was in a wheelchair. So this friend asked if I would be the conduit for an anonymous blessing. I didn't do anything more than deliver an envelope of cash, yet I am convinced I received the greater blessing. Why do I say this? Because years of being soaked in the gospel have made my friend, John Spiro, a true worshiper of Jesus Christ. Even in his wheelchair, John overflows with gratitude for the blessings he has already received in his wife and children, his church, the ministry opportunities he still has, and the promises of heaven that await him because of what he has received in Jesus Christ. And he asked me to convey to the givers that they were definitely hearing from the Lord, for he and his family had been praying for provision.

During our conversation, John mused about how churches today no longer have cemeteries on their grounds. Those graveyards were signposts, reminding congregants that they were pilgrims on this earth, sojourning to another place. Now he feels that he and others with terminal illnesses serve that tombstone function in modern churches. And it's good to do so, because the reality of death loosens our grip on earthly trinkets. (John still has his sense of humor, though, joking about how he could have been a rolling tombstone for the church's costume harvest party. We had a good laugh about that!)

What is similar in both of these stories is that both this man on the street and my friend, John, bear outward signs of physical suffering. Though you do see these items on first glance, those are not the lasting impression. Instead, both of these men are portraits of gratitude--more aware that what they have received in Christ far surpasses the momentary afflictions they endure now.

Undeniable guilt, plus undeserved grace, should equal unbridled gratitude. Amen.

(P.S. My friends and I are not content to just give the Hispanic man money and leave it at that. Given our limited abilities to communicate in Spanish, we are trying to connect him with a Spanish-speaking congregation that is a sister church to our own to see if he has anyone else to help him.)

Photo: The Spiro family. Clockwise from top left: Gabriel, Kathy, Joseph, John and Amanda.