I went to a lecture last night, a conversation between Andy Huse, Richard Gonzmart and Gary Mormino about the recent release of Huse’s exciting new book, The Columbia Restaurant: Celebrating a Century of History, Culture, and Cuisine. An entertaining and educational evening for the most part, although a brief chronology up front might have helped the audience—the discussion jumped around in time, with lots of names to keep track of.

Near the end of the evening, Huse lamented the passing of some of the area’s great and historic restaurants, Valencia Garden, the Seabreeze, etc. He blamed restaurant critics for their demise, saying that critics are preoccupied with “new restaurants that will only be open for six months.”

It got me thinking about my culpability in the lifecycle of restaurants. First, what exactly is my job? As I see it, my job is to bring readers’ attention to worthwhile restaurants they didn’t know about, to steer them clear of restaurants that aren’t worthy and to remind them about places that are still doing a good job and should be patronized. Huse is confused about the connection between his job as a food historian and mine.

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I worked one summer in Boston for two Holocaust-survivor brother architects. Henneberg and Henneberg did residential design in a very Robert Anshen/Eichler style. From an historical perspective, theirs were really amazing houses. But that 1989 summer in Boston, no one was hiring them. Their designs were dark, low, squatty, with teeny closets, etc. In essence, they were dated and the Zeitgeist had moved on.

New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn goes to fashion week, goes to Milan—spends her time in earnest examination of this particular moment, this particular designer. It’s all fleeting, some of these clothes barely warmed by human flesh before they are passé. Yes, she is better at her job if she is steeped in fashion history. She knows all about the strange blip in the 1970s when gaucho pants were popular, but her job is not to campaign to bring gauchos back. If designers start dabbling again in flare-legged Argentine cowboy pants, so be it. She’ll report it.

What I’m saying: The food historian can be smitten by the lush and layered fabric of a restaurant’s life. Valencia Garden, say. But my job is to say if it’s still good. If the place is shabby, the food is dated and there’s a weird moldy smell, it’s my job to say so. There are idiosyncratic Florida foods that are beloved by historians. Things like deviled crabs. Fine, but truth is, most deviled crabs are huge, unhealthy gut bombs that should be put out of their misery and ours.

Put another way, my colleague Steve Persall knows about film history, has beloved directors and movies he wishes we'd all see. Still, he has to review New Moon because that's what serves readers. Or book editor Colette Bancroft devotes time and space to John Irving's new book (ouch), but that doesn't mean she doesn't have hundreds of books she would highly recommend to readers.

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There is a difference between what Persall and Bancroft do and what I do, though. If Persall slams a Spielberg movie, he's not putting anyone out of business. His negative review will not noticeably impact the movie's bottom line. With restaurant reviews, a slam can have devastating effects.

Thus, and this is important, the most important thing for a restaurant critic—far more important than knowing the names of pre-Prohibition Ybor City restaurateurs—is to have a metric that is consistent and suitable for the area in which you're reviewing. Meaning, it's essential for a food critic to keep track of what is going on in the rest of the country, and to understand how the local restaurant scene fits into that. This is not New York City. I do not evaluate restaurants here using the same metric. This is tough love: The average restaurant here is not as good as the average restaurant there. If I evaluated restaurants here using the same yardstick I would use there, star ratings would be lower across the board.

So, what I'm long-windedly saying: Yes, history is important, but a restaurant critic, a good one, functions as a barometer. What's going on RIGHT NOW in the ongoing dialogue about what constitutes good food, and how does this particular restaurant measure up?

Divino's Restaurant in Clearwater is offering a free appetizer and a glass of house wine to veterans on Wed. and on Sunday (show proof of military service). For the rest of us, all entrees are half off Monday to Thursday from 5 to 7 p.m. For more information, call (727) 446-3075.

A study by business consultant AlixPartners LLC was released yesterday indicating that restaurant customers say they plan to spend about 20 percent less per meal in 2010 than they did this year. The study surveyed 1,000 consumers, who said they plan to spend an average of $11.49 per meal next year. In a similar survey the company performed nine months ago, respondents reported spending an average of $13.25 per meal.

But here's an interesting thing: Even though people anticipate spending less, the NUMBER OF RESTAURANT VISITS is actually up. The study found that 63 percent of those polled had dined out at least weekly over the past 12 months, up from 52 percent in the March survey. Fine dining takes it on the chin again, high-end visits dropping 36 percent according to the survey.

I'm still waiting to try Domenica Macchia's new lunch, dinner and bar menus at BellaBrava, but I thought I'd share that the restaurant is reopening for Sunday dinners on Nov. 15 at 4:30. Also through that date, get 20 percent off gift certificates. BellaBrava is also now the official restaurant of the Broadway Plus series at Progress Energy Mahaffey Theater. Call (727) 895-5515 for more information. Oh, and I was just told that BellaBrava also has certificates on restaurants.com (linking this post with my last post) at $10 for a $25 certificate, and if you use the code "ENTREE" you can get the $25 certificate for $2. That code expires 11/12.

John Gonos has just opened the Heavenlyswirl frozen yogurt shop at 10454 Roosevelt Blvd. in St Petersburg next to the Walgreens at the Gateway Crossings Plaza. He offers soft-serve low-fat tart yogurt packed with those wonderful probiotics, either served by the cup or in a parfait or smoothie. There are also low-fat sugar-free ice creams and Italian ice. Hours are daily 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. For more information, call (727) 289-7184.

Half Off Depot has got some good half-price deals on local restaurants, from Clearwater's Greektown Grille to Tampa's hip Hula Bay and one of my favorites, Mad Dogs and Englishmen. Also, Planet Meal Deals offers some half-off restaurant deals including 717 South Yuki Japanese Steakhouse, Gatsby’s Restaurant, Café Dufrain, Fly Bar and TC Choys Asian Bistro. There's also this other site called Groupon that offers local restaurant 50-percent-off discounts. And restaurants.com has been known to offer some deeply discounted restaurant deals.

So I spent a good chunk of Friday on the set of HSN for their second "HSN Cooks" holiday celebration. Here's the story I wrote about it. It was a hoot standing around seeing Padma, Tyler Florence, Duff Goldman and Ingrid Hoffman on set, then watching them palling around afterwards. The bummer was that Padma's people didn't want our photographer, Cherie Diez, to snap any shots of her (her baby bump a much-coveted pic, evidently). I got about ten minutes of Padma's time one-on-one. First, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever been in the same room with. Made me kind of mumbly and flop-sweaty. Second, I can't believe HSN builds a whole kitchen set for each of their celeb chef stars. See Padma's? It's gorgeous and really does seem to suit her personality and style. Third, Salman Rushdie? Really? Moving on, fourth, Padma was articulate, well-traveled and in possession of some new heavy bangs that really work for her.

After three and a half years, Irene and Arno Waltsleben have sold the charming Italian downtown St. Petersburg restaurant to Saverio Macaluso, an Italian from Rome. George (Irene and Arno's son) is still cooking, Chris and the serving team are still the same. Macaluso's aim is to keep the atmosphere and vibe the same, but plans to add a range of new wines to the list.
  
"Primi Urban Cafe is an excellent restaurant and it will continue to be," the new owner says. However, he is planning to add "more delicious dishes to an already delicious and affordable menu." Look for daily specials that will lean toward traditional Italian dishes like lasagna and amatriciana and an improved wine list featuring Brunello di Montalcino and Barolo. His plans also include adding flat screen televisions, a piano and live entertainment on the weekends.

I'd like to thank reader Thomas Taggart for reminding me about this most excellent New York Times piece several days ago by Bruce Buschel entitled 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part 1). It's a compendium of all of servers' most egregious sins, many of which could be boiled down simply to "the customer is always right, even when he or she is an @#%%#."

I agree with many items on the list, but it got me thinking back to my own table-waiting days and how often, in fact, customers could be @#%%#. Here are some of the things customers should never do.

1) Fine, I'll never interrupt your conversation, but when plates are coming in for a landing, please stop waving your arms around so that demi-glace stays off your shoes and mine.

2) Don't have a big, steaming gob about who is paying the check, leaving me to stand there like a dolt. Let's say the fleetest of foot gets the check, not the meanest or loudest.

3) Don't get all embarrassed about the crumbs on the table. I'm cleaning them up right now, no big whoop. Relax. And if you spill a little, same thing. We're washing the tablecloth anyway.

4) Send a wine back if it's corked or oxidized or funky. But if it's just not what you expected, tough.

5) A scenario: You can't decide between the rabbit and the duck. You order the duck. When the plates arrive, you misremember and say, "I ordered the rabbit." REMEMBER WHAT YOU ORDERED. And friend of the forgetful, if you heard what they actually ordered, help a sister out.

6) Salad dressing. Some people like a lot, some people like a little. It's OK to express your feelings on the subject when ordering a salad, but don't get all uppity. Strangely, it's a subject people have strong feelings about, all of which are more or less valid.

7) If you want another glass of wine (or the chocolate cake), don't say "Oh, I shouldn't...." and drift off, leaving the server to play the role of little-red-devil-on-the-one-shoulder or angel-on-the-other. Wear your big-girl pants and make the decision yourself.

8) Get off the phone, especially if you're one of those super-loud phone talkers. (And a pile of cell phones in the middle of the table is gauche. Really.)

9) If you need the meal to be paced quickly, tell. If you want to drink a full cocktail before you even consider ordering, tell. Servers read cues, but it helps if you just express your needs using your nice voice.

10) I love girls' nights out. Everyone's having a good time, there's usually juicy eavesdropping for the server. But ladies, the designated bill-tabulator at meal's end needs to be firm and to have keen arithmetic skills. Too many people in this situation round down to figure their own contribution.

I could keep going. Maybe I will keep going. But I'd like to hear from some servers, or former servers, out there.