that guy over there...

week 9: the fallout (and fix my damn ipod)...

2009-11-10T20:08:27-05:00

dear apple,

i love my ipod touch. it's great. it carries music, episodes of the office, a bunch of podcasts, a wee bit of pornography, my calendar, my contacts, and combined with my treo pro or some wifi can get online and find me any information i need fairly quickly. unfortunately since os version 3.1 it's kind of fucked up.

see, the battery doesn't seem to last as long. sure it may be a factor of it's every day use, but since the patch i can no longer go a day with out charging. this isn't normally a problem. most days i go home and let it charge. it's just those days i don't get home or forget to let it charge that are a problem. have you ever been on a new york city subway and had to listen to all the bullshit that goes on? it's rough. especially when some of that bullshit is people playing THEIR ipod that IS charged too loud. worse than that, have you ever had to listen to the shit that goes on in my head? spending too long with myself without drowning out the thoughts is dangerous for both myself and society.

next problem is the display. when i turn it on it's side, the screen flips as it should and goes horizontal. often, it doesn't flip back properly. the content of the screen goes properly vertical, but the clock stays in it's horizontal position. that's not so bad really, but it annoying. what is bad is when the bar that would be the clock stays horizontal but also goes black. i like my clock. i like knowing what time it is. and sometimes i can't know. all since 3.1.

there is one huge problem though, sometimes it just forgets what i have on it. yup, every now and then when i sync it to toss on some new podcast or what have you it decides it's going to "update the library." all this update ever does is hide any record of anything that wasn't purchased from the itunes store on the device itself. no random mp3s i own, no podcasts i've downloaded, no videos i transferred, not even songs i bought from the itunes store on my pc and synced to the ipod. nope, it only knows 2 albums. rancid's "let the dominoes fall" and pearl jam "live from lollapalooza."

don't get me wrong, pearl jam and rancid would almost definitely both make my desert island music top 5, but it really sucks when i want to listen to something else and can't because my ipod suddenly updated itself into forgetting it exists and i don't have time to go home and fix it.

i'd really appreciate it if you could take care of these problems for me. i was incredibly sad when it happened this morning as i was looking forward to checking out a couple of new albums i just picked up and instead had to frantically download some podcasts instead.

boooo broken ipod os!

love always,

chris

p.s. no, my football picks didn't go so well again this week. had a promising slate of early games, but sucked royally in the late games. thank you for asking.

winners: atlantas, arizona, cincinnati, miami, dallas

losers: indianapolis, green bay, jacksonville, new york, saints, lions, san francisco, denver

week 9 record: 5-8

season record: 67-58-1

p.p.s. yes i know there's a game on thursday and i should try my best to move football friday to wednesday, but in case i don't (and really do you think can?), i'll take the bears +3 over the 49ERS.

football friday (week 9: puking sucks edition)...!

2009-11-08T01:40:44-05:00

so i've felt something coming on for the past week or so. bought the usual cold-eeze and vitamin c drops and started pounding them while at work, didn't catch anything but still felt it coming. thursday night i went out and drank a tad too much. which of course opened the door for whatever it was i thought was coming.

going out drinking (and having too much) as the weather finally starts to get cold is kind of like inviting a vampire into your house. you're just asking for trouble if you do it. why i continue to do just that is beyond me. but i do, without fail, every year finally catch whatever bug i'm going to catch by stupidly enjoying some beverages.

so i woke up friday and had a queasy stomach. i assumed it was alcohol based since i was out drinking, but i didn't have any other hangover symptoms to speak of. made some toast and promptly puked up the toast. same thing with a vanilla milkshake. so i lied down for a bit before trekking out to see my grandfather. he of course was already asleep by the time i got out to the island.

while it was of course nice to visit with the rest of the family, the back and forth in what was kind of cold weather for my sick self having not eaten kinda sucked.

on the trip home i grabbed a sandwich and fries. they didn't last too long in my belly either. so i called into work. it's weird using a sick day when you're actually sick. feels wrong. sick days should be used for concerts, and baseball games, and fun stuff. instead i spent the day living like a baby. shitting, puking, and sleeping with just enough food to fuel the puking and allow me to have some energy to get around the house.

and it sucks because i'd rather be off on a sunday to watch some football.

speaking of, here are some picks. i put less thought into them than usual. they're from the post as always, and home team is in CAPS...

GIANTS -4.5 over chargers
JAGUARS -6.5 over chiefs
BENGALS +3 over ravens
COLTS -9 over texans
FALCONS -10 over redskins
packers -9.5 over BUCCANEERS
cardinals +3 over BEARS
dolphins +10.5 over PATRIOTS
SAINTS 13.5 over panthers
lions +10 over SEAHAWKS
49ERS -4 over titans
cowboys +3 over EAGLES
BRONCOS +3 over steelers

and with that, it's back to bed for me...

week 8: the fallout (and it ain't pretty)...

2009-11-07T14:51:28-05:00

i nearly shit my pants the other day. got the urge i had to go when i got off the train and decided to walk home anyway. it wasn't one of those "oh my god i'm going to shit right now!" urges it was "hey if you happen by a toilet anytime soon you might wanna take a seat for a moment or two." the mile walk home was very nice, quite uneventful until the last twenty steps or so...

see, as soon as my eyes sent a signal to my brain that it saw a big 3 story green and white house, my brain identified it as home and sent a signal to my ass that it could go ahead and release the hounds. wtf?

i've actually run this by a few people and apparently i am not alone in the "brain sees house decides it's ok to shit immediately" feeling. how exactly does this work? why was i fine for a good 10-15 minutes of a walk home only to be in brutal agony for the last 30 seconds of it, struggling to get the door open so i can make a mad dash to the bathroom and arrive barely in time to not be telling a more embarrassing story?

why tell that story in my football recaps? because my picks were shit...

winners: bears, 49ers, falcons

losers: giants, jets, broncos, texans, packers, seahawks, chargers, jaguars, cardinals, lions

week 8 record: 3-10

season record: 62-50-1

going back to bed because i'm not feeling great. week 9 picks later or early tomorrow...

football friday: more rock, less football...!

2009-10-31T18:57:53-04:00

so the last two nights the rock and roll hall of fame had their 25th anniversary concerts at madison square garden. i'm not really sure what the hell the rock and roll hall of fame is doing having concerts at msg since it's in cleveland, but who am i to ask? in any case serge found a way to get some free tickets and he passed that info to brian who passed it to me. last night we went to the show.

we had seats behind the stage. apparently they were free because there's no way they could have sold them. sure, you heard everything, but there wasn't much in the line of vision because of the barrier they had set up so you wouldn't notice they were setting up for the next act right behind the current act. gotta say though, it was pretty cool to see the goings on backstage. knew all the "surprise guests" before the surprise was sprung, and got a genuine acknowledgment from all the acts as they left the stage. by genuine i mean it was a wave at 500 people rather than 18,000. and by everyone i mean everyone except lars ulrich of metallica.

lars ulrich is a fucking cunt. he's a slightly above average drummer who told his fans to eat shit and die by coming out so strongly against music sharing knowing full well his band would be nothing, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, if his music wasn't shared when he was a nobody. metallica openly asked their fans to give tapes to friends, they were very much a word of mouth band. then that fuckfaced whore lars ulrich sells out and comes out against song sharing.

don't get me wrong i get the idea of piracy. i'm not saying everyone should run out and download all the music they want for free. i am saying there are tons of bands i wouldn't know about today if it weren't for a free download, be it from the band themselves or from a friend.

i hate lars ulrich, and while no other member of the band has said anything about whether they agree or disagree with his views, i don't really care about metallica anymore. will i listen to them if they pop up on the radio or a pandora mix? yes, absolutely. even the newer stuff isn't bad, but will they get a single cent of my money. i won't buy a cd, won't pay to go to a show, hell, if they released a song as a benefit for a kid with cancer i wouldn't buy it even if the kid with cancer came to my door to collect and every penny went to him.

as i was saying every performer acknowledged the folks behind the stage as they walked off. aretha franklin, lenny kravitz, annie lennox, jeff beck, the guy from zz top, lou reed, the guy from the kinks, ozzy fucking osbourne, patti smith, bruce springsteen, black eyed peas, fergie (by herself) mick jagger, all of u2, and even all of metallica. hell, even gordon sumner aka sting managed a wave and a smile even if he looked inconvenienced by it. so yeah, everyone EXCEPT lars ulrich.

lars ulrich put his head down, put on a sweatshirt and scurried away like the cockroach he is. i'm guessing he ran down through a tunnel to his mom's basement where he scans the internets to catch folks who are file sharing.

lars ulrich is a cunting cunt. i can't actually think of more ways to use the word cunt in reference to lars ulrich. oh wait, here's a haiku...!

lars ulrich's a cunt
the cuntiest cunt of all
cunty cunting cunt

as brian put it "you know you're at a good show if aretha franklin is the opening act." and it was. ms. franklin still has a hell of a voice and a hell of a presence. jeff beck is a hell of a guitar player and his bassist is a really hot young chick. by hot i mean my type of hot, not your type. serge didn't think she was hot at all but brian knew i'd dig her by looking at her. metallica were pretty damn good, especially doing covers of 2 kinks songs with the guy from the kinks. and then there was u2.

u2 puts on a hell of a show. (ok chris, enough with the "hell of a" references) but i gotta say i was disappointed. on the teleprompter were the lyrics to the songs. why would bono need to know the lyrics to his own songs? also, i think there was some sort of echo on effect on the mics. everyone was incredibly clear backstage save for bono. he was drowned out by the music and wasn't clearly heard. maybe it was different for the folks in front of the stage, but it was weird since everyone else was clear to us in the back.

on top of the lyrics being on prompter, he also had one of his shitty "this is why this song is inspirational speeches" up there. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying i ever though he meant the stuff he spews, but i guess i was sort of hoping it was at least from memory if not from the heart. then again, he's been saying "sunday, bloody sunday" is about iran on this last tour...

one moment that i hope makes it on tv but likely won't was between patti smith and bruce sprinsteen. towards the end of "because the night" she basically got on her knees and gave him a simulated blowjob. sure, it was his guitar and not his cock, but the imagery was there and fuckin awesome. what a good girl she is! sadly they fucked up the song and the version you'll see on hbo is likely the second cut unless they can do some amazing editing.

enough rock, we're here for football. gonna do this quick this week since i've rambled enough.

lines are form today's ny post bettor's guide and as always home teams are in CAPS.

giants -1 over EAGLES
JETS -4 over dolphins
broncos +3 over RAVENS
BEARS -13 over browns
texans -3.5 over BILLS
PACKERS -3 over vikings
49ers +12 over COLTS
seahawks +9.5 over COWBOYS
CHARGERS -16.5 over raiders
jaguars +3 over TITANS
CARDINALS -10 over panthers
falcons +10.5 over SAINTS

and my favourite game of the week. the "we'd of canceled it if we could have" bowl
LIONS -4 over rams

holy shit are the lions favoured? the lions. the team that plays in detroit that lost every game last year? the lions? ya gotta be kidding me. how many rams fans have committed suicide over this?

week 7: the fallout (and why i'm a bad blogger)...

2009-10-29T14:22:58-04:00

so the other day i started a post by saying "isn't it amazing that when i do well i do the week's wrap up so quickly?" and promptly didn't finish it. i suck at following a schedule, even a really easy schedule i set up for myself. one that would ensure content twice a week. content that would be at least half incredibly easy to produce. i suck at this.

there's other reasons i suck as a blogger. i don't follow up on comments left here. i always want too, mind you, but i often fail to do so. i see comments and i get happy. i read them all. think of something to say back. then, *poof* forget. why would anyone really want to comment if it's going to be seemingly ignored? it's not like i have 100s of folks lining up to comment who could keep each other occupied, there's a few people and me. i like it like that, but i suck at maintaining my end of the bargain.

i'm also part of a few blogger communities that i do nothing in. why? because i forget. i do my entrecard drops maybe once a week now. more often if i remember, but really, the amount of times i've sat around doing nothing that i could have been dropping and reading and commenting but chose to read about something i'll never buy or find porn is astronomical. (how's that for a run on sentence?)

i do read every blog i drop on though, even if i don't say anything, i swear i read it!

in my defense life has been incredibly busy of late. not so much interesting, but busy. nothing that can't be handled. nothing that i mind handling. just stuff that needs to be handled that takes up a lot of idle time i'd otherwise spend procrastinating or sleeping.

a good week for football, only 2 losers in the bunch and my first push...

winners: jets, chargers, colts, packers, steelers, patriots, saints, cowboys, eagles

losers: giants, panthers

push: 49ers

week 7 record: 9-2-1

season record: 59-40-1

football friday: perhaps i should get off the friday thing, eh...?

2009-10-25T11:25:00-04:00

week seven is here
and i've been very lazy
time to make my picks

they're now two days late
so i hope you'll forgive me
here are some haiku

lines are from the post
new york's best sports newspaper
home teams are in CAPS

GIANTS over cards
they are favoured by seven
and should cover spread

jets over RAIDERS
an easy win and cover
only seven points

chargers will beat CHIEFS
four point five is not that hard
even on the road

colts defeat the RAMS
by more than thirteen point five
child's play for peyton

BENGALS minus one
over the chicago bears
jay cutler's an ass

the BROWNS have no chance
to cover nine points against
the pack from green bay

STEELERS will beat brett
and his comrades the vikings
five point five? no sweat

over in london
pats will beat the buccaneers
by more than fourteen

TEXANS lose at home
to san fran's forty niners
who are dogs by three

PANTHERS over bills
the game no one wants to watch
spread is one touchdown

only six point five?
saints should be favoured by more
to beat the DOLPHINS

i hate the COWBOYS
but think they'll beat the falcons
by more than four points

eagles over SKINS
in columbus' district
by more than touchdown

that is all for me
try to be on time next week
yeah, that could happen

week 6: the fallout (sorry, i forgot)...

2009-10-24T18:28:33-04:00

so it's been one of those weeks...i've been so incredibly busy doing not a god damned thing. spent a lot of time listening to a lot of people talk about stuff, mostly windows 7. see, i'm so excited about this new operating system that i've taken every opportunity possible to be brainwashed even more than i already was,

also i sorta wanted free stuff.

that's why on tuesday i went to "microsoft: the new initiative." the prize for that was a free copy of windows 7 ultimate. sadly after sitting through 3 hours of lectures (an hour of which was entertaining and informative, an hour of which was sort of interesting if lacking for substance, and the last hour which was "hey look at the toy i can play with, only you can't see because the projector doesn't work right"), they didn't even have the 64 bit version to take home. for that we had to trade in our 32 bit version and wait for the 64 bit to be mailed to us. on top of that, they were out of "please mail me the 64 bit version" sheets, so the nice ladies were writing down everyone's info on regular paper.

thursday i went to see the engadget show. the special guest was microsoft ceo steve ballmer. now i'm going to be honest I probably would have watched this from home or downloaded the inevitable podcast, but i figured "microsoft ceo + windows 7 release date + crowd of people happy for both = cool stuff." apparently not so much. waited on line at one of the biggest sausage fests i've ever been a part of. yeah, the line looked exactly how you thought it would, a whole shit ton of guys who won't be getting laid anytime soon and one or two girls who those sexless men wouldn't want to fuck anyway.

actually, a cute girl did show up. i say cute because she was probably a 4 but was upgraded to a 6.5 or 7 based on supply or demand. then came the high school girl who actually was attractive, but was in high school. high school is pretty much where i draw the "wow, even look but don't touch is a lil creepy" line. speaking of creepy, she was being constantly groped by way to old for her guy. statutory rape is always fun to watch!

so yeah steve ballmer yells a lot. he yells because he's excited about microsoft and all the good they do. you'd of thunk at some point he would have yelled "in fact i love windows 7 so much i want you all to have a copy!" but no dice. i think the general consensus was almost everyone was there looking for a copy of the os. one guy was fairly vocal wondering aloud "you have 300 million installs and you can't spare less than 300 copies?" all the same, it was a good time. just a good time i wished i hadn't gotten up early and waited on line for.

and then there was football. an average week for me. literally.

winners: chiefs, ravens, panthers, packers, cardinals, patriots, broncos

losers: giants, jets, bengals, steelers, jaguars, eagles, bears

week 6 record: 7-7

season record: 50-38

# of football games i've been able to watch: 1/2

i'm gonna type week 7 picks now, but it won't go up till later tonight/early tomorrow.

sometimes dreams just screw you...

2009-10-18T15:43:18-04:00

i often have vivid dreams. the best of them are in those fifteen minutes between smashing the snooze button when it's time to get my ass out of bed to go to work. my dreams are not just incredibly realistic, but often times come true. i'm not claiming to be some sort of seer or anything, most of the time i dream i'll have a great time at a concert and it happens. sometimes something actually happens and i'm so drunk i don't remember it and think it's a dream. every now and then, my brain pulls something from out of the nether, and it actually happens.

i went to bed around 5 am today, i'd been playing some civ iv locked in a vicious war with my neighbor to the east that i finally ended because it was a stalemate that kept me from doing anything productive or sleeping. i retired to my lovely bed in my freezing room under my incredibly comfortable and warm comforter. around 11:45 my alarm started going off.

i'm going to say it was between 12:15 and 12:30 that i had a dream. an incredibly real dream.

my cousin richard dropped me off at the lirr station (you may remember he actually did that the other night). at the station i wanted to buy a lottery ticket, but the guy's machine didn't work. that sucked and i wasn't happy. upon seeing this the guy told me he did have 1 $1 ticket that someone didn't buy earlier and offered it to me. i took it.

so that's my dream thus far. thing is, all of it actually happened. literally all of it. my dream basically just replayed my reality. then it got good...

a few days later i realized i had not checked my ticket, so i went on the computer and was shocked to find that i had matched all of the numbers. i won! i was the champion of the lottery!

as an aside, why are you just a lottery winner? i'd totally be a lottery champion. i'd have a belt made and challenge the mere lottery winners to order their quick pick as well as i did. i'd rip their big checks in half and tell them their big check was nothing compared to my big check. i'd be the greatest lottery champion ever (EVER!).

anyway, the dream went on, i had lots of money and lived happily ever after. yada yada yada...

and then i woke up. happy as all hell that i had just won the lottery. then i realized it was just a dream and that made me sad, i had not just won the lottery. 'maybe," i thought "the dream was so i would check my ticket and find out i won." so i got excited again and ran downstairs. i got to my computer, brought up megamillions.com, opened the wallet that contained the golden ticket, and looked in shock and awe to find out...

i didn't hit a single number.

not one. i wasn't even close. i didn't have a number on my ticket that was within 5 of any of the selected numbers. i did not win. i was not champion.

sometimes dreams come true
this time was not meant to be
fuck you cock tease dreams

football friday: this space for rent...!

2009-10-17T18:19:40-04:00

it's finally almost winter. been below 50 degrees here in nyc for the last week or so. the last couple of days have been shitty freezing rain. boo mother nature!

that said it did give me the unique opportunity to do absolutely nothing and sleep almost all day yesterday. even got to play some civilization iv and watch some of the yankees game between naps. all in all a great day with little to no contact with the outside world.

picked up lots of new games to finally play on the computer i built in january to play games on. first was civ iv, which i owned in parts, but grabbed the complete edition off steam for $20. also pre ordered dragon age: origins which i'm looking forward too. and today i picked up pre orders on gratuitous space battles and elemental: war of magic. of the group i'm thinking elemental may not be my cup of tea, but stardock is a great developer that actually seems to care about their games and the people who play them. also, they don't fuck you by including a shit ton of drm with their games.

and now onto the most important part of most folks weekends, the football. i'm hoping to rebound from a positively shitty showing last week.

as always the lines are from the ny post's bettor's guide. although these numbers are not from friday as the page was updated at 3:37 am this morning. home team in CAPS.

giants +3 over SAINTS
i think the giants win these game by a touchdown or more. so i'll take those point's gladly.

JETS -9 1/2 over bills
anyone notice the jets started playing like shit when i started picking them again? sorry jets fans.

chiefs +6 1/2 over REDSKINS
chiefs haven't played horribly of late, and the redskins are pretty god awful. ya know, until i pick against them.

BENGALS -4 1/2 over texans
i haven't been a fan of houston all season, no reason to start now.

STEELERS -14 over browns
this is one of those rivalries where it's not really a rivalry except in the head of the team that keeps losing. kind of like any rivalry my mets are involved in lately. the question is not "will the steelers win?" but "how much will the steelers win by?"

ravens +3 over VIKINGS
i think i'll call this my upset pick of the week. i think i've always had one even if i didn't call it as much. this is a make it or break it game for baltimore who thought they were the best team in the afc two weeks ago. look for them to turn favre's (whatever you call the thing cinderella rode around in) back into a pumpkin.

JAGUARS -9 1/2 over rams
this line started at 12 1/2 and receded back to 9 1/2. america has no faith in the jags and i shouldn't either. so let's pick em and see what happens!

panthers - 3 1/2 over BUCCANEERS
a lost season for the bucs. is 3 1/2 too much for carolina to handle?

PACKERS -13 1/2 over lions
i was gonna pick detroit until i saw the pack were at home. so we'll give up those points now.

eagles -14 over RAIDERS
i got fucked thinking the raiders could cover 14 last week, why should this week be any different? worst qb in the league combined with a head coach who beats up his staff? yeah, that's a quality team there.

cardinals +3 over SEAHAWKS
still don't know what to think about either of these teams.

PATRIOTS -9 1/2 over titans
one of these weeks the titans have to do well, right? maybe next week.

bears +3 over FALCONS
i think the bears win outright, even though jay cutler is an ass.

broncos +4 over CHARGERS
i've noticed i only ever really pick the dog if i think they can actually win. ya know, other than the raiders last week...

and with that another week ends. or is it begins? i guess saturday is the start of my week.

and with that another week begins.

fun with amazon: i guess we didn't like bush...

2009-10-16T14:00:58-04:00

so my random clicking just now lead me to this barack obama: the man and the moment calendar. it looks like a nice wall calendar with some very elegant shots of the president. oddly, the calendar had a review. who would review a calendar i thought? the answer? some cunt named l. mckeever:

"This was given to me as a present, glad I didn't pay the $1.54 for it. If you wait another month or two it will probably be free w/free shipping."

this review actually got me annoyed. you're glad you didn't pay $1.54 for a calendar? calendars are expensive! she gave the calendar one star. i had to comment that her review was simply some right winger shitting on anything that has to do with the president. i pointed out that even if she hated him, it still functioned as a calendar and was therefor worth at least 2 1/2 stars.

but using her line of thought i decided to search "george bush calendar."

presidential (mis) speak 2004 calendar: the very curious language of george w. bush

$4.98

2008: george w. bush out of office countdown wall calendar

$12.99

pardon my president 2009 desk calendar

$6.99

believe it or not, they didn't try to stretch into 2010. i mean, couldn't they have done a 2010 "days since he left office and we've been so deliriously happy we've accepted everything obama has done even though most of it hasn't been all that great and just kept talking about how great it was...hell we even sort of like hillary because obama told us to" calendar?

i guess that'd be too hard to fit on a box.

how about an obama 2010 "times he said 'umm' because he went off prompter or someone asked him a non scripted question" calendar?

oh, i guess it's disrespectful to make fun of the president again...