Can it really be?

Yes, it's been a whopping 33 years (more or less) since I graduated college.  I was visited my daughter at school this weekend, and got to spent two whole days on a campus.  I took a long walk on Sunday morning, and was blown away by how still it was. The suburbs wake up way earlier on the weekends, and town is buzzing with soccer moms and dads, middle-aged folk (like me) who can't sleep more than five hours, and, occasionally, people attending houses of worship. 

But the only praying that seemed to be going on this weekend was related to good grades on finals, a job after graduation, and rapid relief from hangovers. 

(As a side note, I was also fascinated by the fact that stores that sell bongs have stayed in business for these many years, as major retailers have crashed and burned). 

Do I miss my college years?  Damn straight, as we used to say.  In reflecting, however, I only miss certain things about them.  As I walked, I passed a guy complaining loudly to his frat brother how he had been mistreated the night before by a "girl."  I don't miss the drama.  Small packs of stressed-out kids sat in common areas, huddled around laptops as if the screens contained sacred answers to the meaning of life.  They looked too young to be so worried.  I don't miss exams, papers, and study groups.

I would, however,  still love to sit out on a quad in the middle of the day...go to late-night concerts...take classes like "One-Act Playwriting" and "Women in the Wilderness" (both of which are actually on my transcript)...have intense debates over trivial things (because I was so passionate about a particular cause).  Overall, however, age and wisdom don't really feel so bad most days. 

But sleeping late on a Sunday...that has real appeal!

Don't just sit there...amuse yourself! 

Please visit the Present Participle Place or comment below and share what activities of your youth will make you happy in the new decade.  (Keep it clean and legal please!)

Well no, not literally. 

But I've always been a big fan of really good horror movies (the old fashioned ones) and the deeper meanings that lurked within.  For example, Frankenstein was a "compiled" person -- made up of random parts and then brought to life by a surge of electricity.  Although many people thought he was a scary ghoul, he had a softer side and was truly moved by the haunting sound of a violin.  We all know folks like that, right? 

In the spirit of the season, here are some of the other real life "monsters" I have known and loved (or not):

• Facebook zombies: The people who haunt you at wee hours and are compelled to respond to every status update with a comment.  They mean well.
• Blood suckers: Folks who steal the joy from every happy moment.
• Brain stealers:  They ask if they can "pick your brain" and then take advantage of your generosity.
• Networking sprites:  They can be either good or evil.  They show up at every event you attend.  Perhaps they have a lot in common with you.  Perhaps they have nothing else to do.  Get to know them.  They mean no harm.
• Werepeeps.  Like werewolves, they change personality at regular intervals.  They may be kind and caring at times.  Or, they may rip your face off.  Beware!

Everyone has a little bit of monster inside him or her.  I am sure I have been dubbed a witch (or worse) at times.  I can be hauntingly obnoxious if I feel strongly about something.  But at the end of the day, we all have a little ghoul inside of us.  We need to get in touch with that "touch of evil" and stay inside when the moon is full.

What monsters are in YOUR life? 

Vintage horror movies

An exploration of modern monsters

Whatever you call it, the basic principle is the same.  A seemingly random occurrence leads to amazing things.  Michael Pilla, one of the first people I met after starting my business (on a boat dock, waiting to embark on an event called "Cruise and Schmooze") introduced me to one of my company's biggest clients to date.  And I happened to be on the dock because my daughter's soccer coach at the time -- a local accountant -- recommended the event.  Because that client's project was in Yonkers, I ultimately moved my business here.  And because of my commitment to Yonkers, I ended up getting appointed to the Board of Yonkers Partners in Education and we were hired to do even more marketing work from the City of Yonkers.  And so it goes. 

In 2009, I started a list on my Blackberry called "Karma."  Whenever I meet someone who I believe could lead to amazing possibilities (business or personal), I add him or her to the list.  The list is growing, and the results seem to be proving that "karma is key."

So, if these types of connections are truly random, do you just sit around and wait for magic to happen (or stand on boat docks periodically)?  Not really. You need to:

• Be open to possibilities
• Refrain from over-analysis
• Get out more and increase your chances of meeting great people
• Talk to strangers
• Quickly eliminate toxic people from your life and business (Note:  Bad karma is as powerful as good karma!)

In order for my karma theory to work you really have to believe in it.  Make a list of the positive things that have happened so far this year and "diagram" how they came about.  If there was any element of kismet that led to good things or new business, you're on the right track.  If not, go back to how you've been living your life.  Not everyone is a good karma magnet.

The definition of Bashert

Alicia Keys singing "Karma"

Unique theme cruises (in case you decide to employ that method)

I can blame it on Barbie.  Like all young girls in the 1960's, I had a Bridal Barbie.  She and Ken (in his dapper tux) often locked lips (or at least banged their plastic faces together).  Sometimes Barbie hung out with my brother's GI Joe.  It was complicated, as they say in Facebook. 

As I progressed into my teen years, I became something of a hippy and a "women's libber", and was more comfortable in ripped jeans and a tee shirt than a puffy dress. I think the only item of white clothing I owned was a tank top.  But suddenly, I found myself in Kleinfeld in 1982, with hundreds of other "brides-to-be," trying on over-priced, itchy dresses with faux pearls, lace, and bustles.  What was that all about?

As many recent chick-flicks depict, women of a certain age tend to go a bit insane when faced with the planning of nuptials.  I didn't really start out thinking that I was going to have an elaborate shindig, fingerless gloves, and a giant chocolate mousse cake, it just sort of turned out that way.  I did, however, walk myself down the aisle, as the thought of someone "giving me away" (even my beloved Dad) seemed odd.

If I were to get married today, I think it would be a simpler affair.  I'd forego some of the fluff and the fingerless gloves.  (In fact, I'd ditch the pointy shoes too.)  I would have the Internet to help me plan, saving hundreds of dollars on bridal magazines.  Kleinfeld moved to Manhattan from Brooklyn (probably because they were able to afford higher rents as a result of women like me).  But Bridal Barbie is timeless.  In fact, more than ten variations of her appear on the Barbie website.

Bizarre but true fact -- Japanese women can buy a life-size Barbie bridal gown.

The Knot: The ultimate wedding planning media company...wish I had it in 1983! 

How to make a Barbie bride cake

I am moving my company's office to the Yonkers waterfront.  I think it's because I have some kind of strange desire to be in a "neighborhood."  It must stem from my childhood roots on 195th Street in Queens.  Everyone on my block (between Union Turnpike and 73rd Avenue) seemed to know who lived in every other house.  All the neighborhood kids played out on the street (regardless of age) in the summer.  We walked to school in clusters.

I attended and spoke at Yonkers Business Week a couple of weeks ago.  I've been doing business in that city for a while now, and even though Yonkers one of the four largest cities in New York State, so many business people know each other.  For better or worse, it has a small town feel.  The Mayor's office has even said that they would do a "ribbon cutting" for my new offices.  My neighbors in the new building are a combination of entrpreneurs and artists.  X20 is like my corner luncheonette.  I know my community bankers.  The railroad is right outside our window. 

The human need to "cluster" with other like-minded folk seems to be timeless.  Of course, I enjoy anonymity at times (and I don't like the gossip and petty bickering that tends to crop up in some neighborhoods), but the social vibe and collaboration far outweigh the negatives.

In some ways, Facebook has become my new neighborhood too.  I hang out with my "friends" at odd hours, have conversations, ask questions, and share humorous tidbits.  But there will never be an ice cream truck on the social media block.

Nothing can ever truly replace 195th Street.

My old neighborhood

My new "neighborhood" (at least for work)

My social media neighborhood

How to throw a block party

New Media Denial

Yes, change is happening at an absurdly rapid rate.  And I find that many of my Boomer colleagues and friends are suffering from Cenophobia.

I have always been an early adopter of new trends and technologies -- in fashion, life, and business --  experimenting with and learning about lots of them and then abandoning or ignoring those that didn't "feel" right (like leopard capri print leggings) or those that I could probably live eithout (like Tivo). 

Social media and mobile technology have had a profound impact on my generation.  Some of us are slowly but surely "figuring it out" and finding great uses for it in life and business.  Others fall into one of the  profiles listed below.

Ostrichizers:  People who bury their heads in the sand and hope it will all go away.  They may have graduated from a rotary phone to a cell phone and a VCR to a DVD player, but that's where it ended.  They continually mourn "the old days."  They are likely to still have Nehru jackets in their closets.

Poo-poo-ers:  They often say things like "This stuff is all stupid...it doesn't work...who would ever want that?"  (But they don't really know what "this stuff" is.)

Mr./Ms. Popularity:  Demonstrates his/her embracing of technology by making thousands of online friends, downloading apps constantly, and generally trying a little too hard to "fit in."

The Socially Awkward:  This is a variation of the above group.  They are fumbling around, making a noble effort to master the media.  But they can sometimes be overly-aggressive or over-eager and wind up "de-friended."

New technology is not the answer to every question.  But it has enabled me to grow my business, re-connect with long-lost relatives, and wish friends a happy birthday (because I can now keep track of when their birthdays are).  New media can actually humanize, rather than de-humanize us!  I rely on my Gen-Y and Echo-Boomer colleagues to keep me out of the last two categories, but I'm sure I sometimes let my social media "Mom Genes" show.

Let's face it. The realities are quite simple...technology will keep on moving...faster than ever.  We are no longer the only "Boomers."  There are now 80 million Echo-Boomers.  The Internet has surpassed print as a source of news.  And 200 million people are now on Facebook (and 30 percent of the new users are older than 35). 

Yeah, I miss the pink Princess phone and my 45s as much as the next Boomer.  But I think I have learned to love my Blackberry and iPod almost as much...and can only imagine what's coming next!  But you can be sure it will be smaller and seemingly more useless than what came before -- until we can figure out what to do with it!

David Bowie singing Changes (no record player required)

Social media in plain English

The Speed of Change