TriciaMolloy.com

Savor Your Successes

2011-11-10T15:33:33Z

One of the wisest end-of-the-year practices that has always served me well is to make a list of my successes from that year before creating my goals or resolutions for the new year. We rarely take the time to celebrate and savor all we’ve accomplished before moving on to the next thing on our eternal “to do” list.

Right now, I encourage you to think of three 2011 successes. Make it a mix of professional and personal triumphs that you are most proud of.

Write them down and give thanks. Share them with someone and invite them to do the same. This simple, conscious practice will not only make you feel good but it will also give you the confidence and focus you need to achieve your 2012 goals.

My top three 2011 successes are:

Worked with ideal, appreciative organizations like Kimberly-Clark, IBM, Women in Technology Internatioinal, Keller Williams Realty and WellStar Health System.
Launched my new Working with Wisdom website, a true reflection of who I am and the empowering message I share.
Loved every minute of a 12-day Mediterranean cruise with my Mom, where we visited a dozen destinations including Barcelona, Monte Carlo, Florence, Rome and Venice.

What’s on your success list?

What Can We Learn from the ‘Occupy’ Movement?

2011-10-30T21:39:50Z

It began in mid-September as people peacefully gathered in a park near New York City’s Wall Street to protest government corruption and ineffectiveness, mass unemployment, the growing chasm of the haves and have nots, and the impunity of financial industry greed that triggered the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. Like in the movie “Network,” they were “mad as hell and weren’t going to take it anymore.”

People in hundreds of other cities throughout the United States and beyond began their own Occupy Movement. No one knows what, if any, changes will result from these gatherings or if, as the cold weather descends, the protesters will soon retreat to their warm homes and shelters.

When something in the news like this attracts so much attention, I often think what lessons we can learn from it. While we may not be compelled to camp out in a park to fight injustices, there are simple ways we can stand up for ourselves and terminate tolerations that have prevented us from being our best.

Like toxic people. You know those in your life who push all your buttons, drain your energy and drive you crazy? I tend to put them into two categories: those you can eliminate from your life and those you can’t. The first–friends and neighbors–are relationships that are fairly easy to end when you recognize what’s best for you and for them.

Family and coworkers–those you must interact with–fall into the second category. It’s up to you to set healthy boundaries and recognize that the anger or frustration they vent to you is rarely about you. By focusing on what you are grateful to them for–even if it’s that they teach you to be more patient–you can begin to reduce their power over you.

So, what won’t you take anymore? What tolerations will you commit to terminate? Share it here.

What I Learned from Benjamin Franklin

2011-09-16T04:46:40Z

I’ve always enjoyed the earthy wisdom of Benjamin Franklin, founding father, statesman, inventor, business owner and the man who adorns our hundred dollar bill. After reading “Ben Franklin: America’s Original Entrepreneur,” I shared his list of 13 virtues in my Working with Wisdom enewsletter.

Here are some of the “aha’s!” that I think deserve reflection. Some are common sense reminders and others seem counterintuitive. Which ones resonate with you?

Be frugal.
Speak well of others, even those who caused you misery.
Check references.
Don’t hold a grudge.
Appreciate all your talents.
Be sincere.
Hard Work + Patience = Wealth
Keep reading. (He never graduated from school but instead learned by reading. In fact, he was responsible for establishing the first public library in Philadelphia.)
Remember the power of the written word to influence others. (He used self-published pamphlets while we might blog.)
Pay attention to appearances. (He made sure that people saw him working early and late at the print shop to show he was dedicated.)
Don’t take all the credit for accomplishments.
Expect (and ask for) even more help from someone who has done you a favor.
Spread the risk with contingency contracts, like matching funds.
When it comes to power and politics, convenience often trumps intelligence. (So make it convenient for others to do what you desire.)
Since hope of gain lessens pain, motivate through rewards and not punishment.
Search hard for the third way when stuck in a dilemma with an opposing party.

Want to Learn to CRAVE Your Goals? Watch This Video!

2011-10-12T02:58:22Z

Where’s Your Clutter?

2011-10-24T00:25:39Z

After completely cleaning out the clutter of my clothes closet earlier this year, I’m still pondering the lessons learned:

Forgiveness – “What was I thinking when I bought THAT?”
Acceptance – I fit into those size 6 pants for 15 minutes last year and will never be there again.
Letting Go – One giant trash bag of someone else’s treasures went to Good Will. I took a few select business clothes with me when I spoke to the Women’s Professional Group of Dress for Success.

Clutter distracts and confuses us and drains our energy. It gets in the way of what’s most important.

Clearing physical clutter, whether it’s a clothes closet or an office file cabinet, is a freeing experience. So is letting go of technical clutter, like too much Internet time or e-newsletters you never read, and emotional clutter, like toxic people and unnecessary obligations. When clutter is released, energy and clarity increase.

Where’s your clutter? Identify just one area of clutter in your life and take steps to clear it away. You’ll be amazed by what you’ll find in its place.

You Just Might Be an Optimist

2011-10-12T03:02:46Z

Do you generally see the glass half full and the opportunities in perceived disappointments? Then you, my friend, just might be an optimist.

If you tend to focus on worse-case scenarios and let fear and lack run the show, then you are most likely a pessimist–or what you might simply call a realist.

People who see the best in most situations tend to be more successful and happy than
those who don’t. Instead of being defeated by obstacles and setbacks, optimists keep moving forward with confidence and hopeful expectation. The good news is, you can learn to be more optimistic by creating more empowering explanations of what’s going on.

Martin Seligman, the author of “Learned Optimism,” is considered the father of the Positive Psychology movement. When explaining our situations, he asks us to consider the three Ps: Permanence, Pervasiveness and Personalization.

For example, let’s say you lose your job. If you’re an optimist, you’ll think this state of unemployment is only temporary (permanence), it will not affect every area of your life (pervasiveness) and you are not necessarily to blame (personalization).

Using the same model, as a pessimist you will see this as a long-term condition, affecting all areas of your life and will shoulder all the blame or harbor a deep resentment of the former employer or perhaps the economy. In other words, you fall into the victim mode.

Which person is more likely to find another job faster? The optimist!

It’s all about awareness and making conscious choices. If you want to cultivate a more optimistic outlook this year, practice the three Ps on small, negative situations, like missing out on a prime parking spot at the mall or struggling to learn new technology. Then, practice it on positive situations, like landing a new client or getting a promotion.

Support your success by incorporating strategies like expressing gratitude and using affirmations. As you build your optimistic muscle, you’ll soon find that a positive response will be your default reaction to whatever comes your way. And that response will inspire your family, friends, employees and coworkers to be optimistic, too.

How to Have a Really Happy New Year!

2011-10-12T03:04:34Z

In the book, The How of Happiness, author Sonja Lyubomirsky recommends 12 scientifically proven ways to boost our happiness. They are:

Express Gratitude

Cultivate Optimism

Avoid Overthinking and Social Comparison

Practice Acts of Kindness

Nurture Social Relationships

Develop Strategies for Coping

Learn to Forgive

Increase Flow Experiences

Savor Life’s Joys

Commit to Your Goals

Practice Religion and Spirituality

Take Care of Your Body

I resonated with all of them. Do you?

Abraham Lincoln said that most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. To make your new year happier, I recommend you identify three of these strategies that you already do, appreciate the positive impact they have on your attitude and continue to do them. For me, that’s express gratitude, cultivate optimism and nurture social relationships.

Then, consider three more strategies to start or recommit to for the new year. Mine are savor life’s joys (stay in the moment), commit to your goals (I’ve got some bodacious ones for 2011!) and take care of your body (back to my yoga practice).

What do you already do and what will you begin to do in 2011? I hope you’ll share your wise strategies by posting your comments here and inspire others. Have a Really Happy New Year!

Do You Haiku?

2010-08-27T10:46:00Z

Reminding People
How Wise They Are So They Can
Enjoy Work and Life

Since I was a child writing for my elementary school newspaper, I’ve always been fascinated by the simplicity and power of haiku. I recently reconnected with this five-seven-five syllable poetry in a conversation with my clever colleague and conscious connector Emile Paradis of RPM Advisors and The Referral Institute. That inspired me to write the Working with Wisdom haiku above.

Here’s what Emile shared about haiku in his blog. I hope you’ll read this and be inspired to write your own about who you are and what you do. Simplicity is often the best path to clarity.

_____________________________________

Haiku and the Art of Business Planning

I was thinking this morning that what the world needs is more haiku. It’s just hard to find places where you can get a good dose of haiku when you need it. So, to help fill a glaring void, I’d like to talk about the benefits of haiku and, hopefully, encourage you to access your inner self enough to express your thoughts and stimulate contemplation.

Actually, what set this all off was “Mission Haiku: the Poetry of Mission Statements,” an article by Chris Finney in The Nonprofit Quarterly. Before you check off the ‘net, please stay with me a little longer.

We’ve all struggled with trying to create mission and vision statements that didn’t sound trite, lame and wordy, and that expressed the passion we felt for our business. Usually, however, these statements did come off as trite, lame and wordy, but we figured they were “close enough.” I’ve worked with a few hundred folks (myself included) and getting something down that really hits the spot is not easy.

Basically, poetry is a form of communication that requires focus and concentrates thought into a few, well-oiled words. That being true, haiku ups the ante and only allows three lines and 17 syllables. Talk about having to be concise, clear and to the point! Even if your haiku isn’t world class (read on), it is a great exercise in condensing your mission. It will express the essence of what you do.

Here are two attempts:

RPM Advisors-

Helping Others
Identify and Connect
With Target Markets

DISC-

Understanding Self
Observing Others
Paths to New Relationships

Certainly not stuff that will bring tears or flashes of enlightenment. However, it made me consider the essence of my business, stripping away all the other “important” stuff I’m afraid to omit. The same stuff that confuses others (and myself) about the core of what I really do.

So, give it a try. You may feel a little stretched by the exercise but that’s a good thing, isn’t it?

_________________________________

Grateful for People
Like Wise Emile Paradis
Who Get Me to Stretch

The 10 Commandments, Part 2

2011-10-12T03:06:01Z

In my last blog post, I pondered if it was time for a second set of commandments to address the challenges and opportunities we face today. Many of you responded. Here are some of them. Pick the ones that resonate with you and allow those to guide the wise choices you make every day.

Thou shall give thanks daily and seek out joy, fun and laughter. ~ Suzanne Bailey
Thou shall not network mindlessly. ~ Emile Paradis
Thou shall find something fun in all you do. ~ Vanessa Lowry
Thou shall live your life in alignment with your passions. ~ Wendy Watkins
Thou shall honor, respect and renew Mother Earth. ~ Tim Morrison
Thou need no commandments when you live in alignment with me. ~ God (Laina Orlando)

Keep them coming!

What are the Next Ten Commandments?

2011-10-12T03:08:15Z

Last week, while my 16-year-old twins, Connor and Allyson, and I were enjoying my birthday lunch, we started talking about The Ten Commandments. Not exactly a typical conversation with teenagers.

You see, I grew up Catholic and had learned those divine rules, along with the names of the nine planets and the Seven Dwarves, at a very early age. I brought my kids up in the Unity church and realized we had never discussed them.

Which commandments do you know? I asked. The ones that came easy were Thou Shall Not Kill, Honor Your Mother and Father and Don’t Take the Name of God in Vain. After a few minutes, we had named all ten–and some others that were not on the orginal list.

That got me thinking. Isn’t it time we added more commandments that relate to our lives today? Maybe even ten more.

Here are a few we came up with.

Thou Shall Not Litter.

Thou Shall Reduce, Reuse and Recycle.

Thou Shall Not Text While Driving.

Thou Shall Not Tweet Mindlessly.

I hope you’ll share your thoughts on these and offer some of your own. Just post a reply here on my blog or join in the discussion on my Facebook Fan Page.