The big shoe dropped for Tiger yesterday with the news that Accenture has knocked it’s long time sponsorship of the golfing lothario on the head after six years. I’ve always thought that featuring sports personalities in your advertising can often come back and bite you in the arse… Particularly when you read about the escapades of some in recent years. Never forget, the avowed purpose of Accenture featuring Tiger Woods in ads was to highlight the company's claimed attributes of integrity and high performance. Well, you can stick that in your bunker and smoke it. The question now is… Will this also affect Y&R, the long time agency for Accenture? You know the senior management fucktards at Accenture are going to blame the Poisoned Dwarf’s shop if they no longer get their nine holes with Tiger. Never mind the billions it will cost to replace all those ads and airport billboards. Agencies have lost accounts for stranger reasons.

Better than golf balls!

As a follow up to my last post about the AdWeek awards of the decade… If you ever needed proof that most people in advertising know fucking shit. AdWeek readers were asked to vote on their own choices. In all the categories that GS+P partners won, AdWeek readers voted for the CP+B frat boys in Boulder. Obviously AdWeek readers are into fart jokes, women with moustaches, or nose cone “Nurse Diesel” tits, and such classic campaigns as “Deadenbacher” and “Man Laws,” turn them on. No wonder this business is fucked.

As expected, Alex won CD of the decade!

By the time you read this while munching on your corn flakes, AdWeek will be putting the news out that Goodby, Silverstein + Partners have been named the Agency of the Decade. The NBA “There can only be one” print ad featuring Shaq “Whatshisname” and Kobe “Stepintomybedroom” has been named print ad of the decade, and Jeff and Rich have been named Agency Executives of the decade. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving agency… No other, and I repeat, no other, has consistently produced work of that quality. So, what’s left? Oh, that’s right… “Douchenozzle of the Decade.” Anyone got any ideas?

All the good shit started in San Francisco!

With the shit continuing to hit the fan about privacy concerns over at Facebook, news of yet another fucking policy that by default makes users' profiles, photos and friends lists available on the web, almost 300 personal photos of founder Mark Zuckerberg became publicly available. As blogger Kashmir Hill, noted, "Either Mark Zuckerberg got a whole lot less private or Facebook's CEO doesn't understand the company's new privacy settings." It would seem that in the past Zuckernozzle has  offered very limited access to his Facebook information. Now you can read that the fucktard just became a fan of Taylor Swift, and uploaded graphic photos of The Great Goat Roast of 2009 three months ago, whatever the fuck that is!!! Wanker!

What the fuck is he sat on?

Top of the most important news of the day… Kaiane Aldorino has won the Miss World Title for Gibraltar… And Britain. Described in the Times of London, as "the British Overseas Territory off the coast of southern Spain". It is, in fact, part of the fucking mainland, and the Spanish have been trying to get it back for the last few thousand years. Apart from fucking up their geography, these journalistic douchenozzles mis-spelt Gibraltar as “Gibralter” in the headline. Never forgetting that The Times is part of the Wizened of Oz’s shitasmic empire, does he really expect us to pay to read this stuff on-line? Antipodean wanker!

The runner up was a British soldier known as “Combat Barbie!”

The Philadelphia Web site Philly.com has a good round up on the declining sponsorship fortunes of Tiger Woods. As you know Gillette, which uses the slogan "The best a man can get," said it won't air advertisements featuring Woods or include him in public appearances. Unless maybe they change the line to "The best a man can buy!" As you know, Accenture, which has spent fucking millions on Woods, is keeping it’s pie-hole shut at the moment, but its Web site no longer displays on its home page an image of Tiger playing the favorite game of rich, white guys. But you just know, Nike will stick with him ‘til the fucking bitter end. They have a track record of dealing with criminals. Anyway, the fucking guy has over a billion in the bank, even after shelling out for all those threesomes in Vegas. And if even Elin takes him for half of that, he’s still got more money than all us AdScammers combined… Oh well, maybe not Tom!

OK... No more Tiger posts!

Irving Berlin just sent me a great fucking gift… As he puts it… Happy Hanukkah, George. http://vimeo.com/848789. As Bill Green (the real one) comments… “No matter what happens, you don’t stop taping. If she bounces off a fucking wall and rips the backdrop down, YOU KEEP SHOOTING. Got it?”

Well That’s made my day… Cheers!

No wonder she looks tired!

There’s an article in the business section of today’s New York Times about how Proctor & Gamble have big plans to conquer the universe. Fuck, I thought they already had… Anyway, that’s not the point of this particular rant, it was the accompanying picture (see it below) that caught my eye. It shows Robert McDonald, P&G’s CEO, talking shit at some wankfest. The guy is not wearing a tie! So, what’s the big deal? If you’ve ever worked on a P&G account, or had the misfortune to visit their corporate headquarters in Cincinnati, you will know these are the most up tight fucktards in the universe. They make the blue suit, white shirt, dark tie IBM douchenozzles of twenty years ago look like fucking drag queens. But it seems that currently, a great many CEO’s are trying to look cool and casual by ditching their ties. Even gnarly old fucker Jack Welsh goes sans tie, whenever he appears with his ghost writer, child bride, on various mind numbingly boring MSNBC shows. Either way, they’re all wankers.

Hey baby... What's happening?

Ha… In spite of his anticipated “Kiss & Make Up” cruise with “Her of the mighty seven iron,” Tiger’s squeaky clean reputation is well and truly going down the fucking toilet, particularly with the news today that Tag Heuer and Gatorade will be dropping him as a spokesperson… The good news for savvy punters, is that they are cashing in at places like Bookmaker.com.  Earlier this week, these guys put together odds on which sponsor would be the first to kick Tiger’s rich arse out of their sponsorship dollars… These were the odds they were offering…

First Sponsor to Drop Tiger Woods

Nike         +400 (20%)

Accenture         +350 (22%)

Gillette     +800 (11%)

PepsiCo’s Gatorade +250 (29%)

Tag Heuer Watches   +330 (23%)

Electronic Arts Inc.    +500 (17%)

Upper Deck, Net Jets   +700 (13%)

TLC Vision Corp    +350 (22%)

The +/- Indicates the Return on the Wager. For Example: Betting on the company least likely to drop him would earn the most amount of money, should that happen. The percentage is the likelihood each sponsor will drop him.

Bookmaker.com, has put together betting lines for Television shows such as, American Idol, Top Chef, Lost, and Dancing with the Stars. In my opinion, Nike will be the last to pull the plug… But hey, by the time Bimbo # 55 pops out of the woodwork, who the fuck knows?