To all of those of you that might not think this is a success, believe me, it is.  He’s been consistently waking up about an hour after going to bed & we’ve had to go in his room numerous times to try to get him back down.

Last night was different, thank you God.  He did cry for a couple of seconds about 8:30pm & Tarzan & I looked at each other like, “What the hell is going on with him?” Then to our surprise, he went back to sleep.

ON. HIS. OWN.

We went ahead & celebrated that little victory too.  He used to be able to soothe himself back to sleep all of the time in the past, but lately he hasn’t been able to do that & it’s been very, um, frustrating, to say the very least.

So my husband & I high-fived each other & held our breath that he would continue to sleep.  A few hours later (around 1am) we heard crying & Tarzan went upstairs.  He changed his diaper because it was apparently “awful” & then brought him to our bed, which was fine with me.

I’ll admit that it would have probably been in our best interest to try to get Monkey to sleep in his own room for the rest of the night, but we were both so tired & took the lazy way out.

So what did I do differently that night?  I decided to flip Monkey’s mattress.  & who knows if that really did the trick to make him sleep longer or if it was just a fluke…

We have the Colgate Classica III mattress for Monkey.  One side is for babies & it’s super firm.  Like a rock almost.  The other side is for toddlers & it’s a bit softer.  It also conforms to his body, which is how our Tempur-Pedic mattress is that he’s been sleeping on.

Anyways I thought that maybe, just maybe, it would mimic our bed & he would sleep longer in his crib.  I guess only time will tell, but I hope that the worst of Monkey’s sleep is behind us.  I’ll take him waking up at 1am any time over him waking up hourly.  It’s really rough.  I don’t even remember him waking up that frequently when he was a newborn.

We tried everything to get him to sleep.  Last night I gave him some Ibuprofen, along with his antibiotic for his ear infection, & we turned the mattress around.  That’s it, but you bet your butt that I’m going to do the exact.same.thing tonight & I’m also going to keep my fingers crossed that I figured out the magic combination of Monkey (& us) getting some decent sleep.

Finally.

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Dear Lord, it’s such a hectic day,
With little time to stop and pray,
For life’s been anything but calm,
Since you called on me to be a mom.

Running errands, matching socks,
Building dreams with building blocks.
Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes,
And other stuff that children lose.

Fitting lids on bottled bugs,
Wiping tears and giving hugs.
A stack of last week’s mail to read,
So where’s the quiet time I need?

Yet when I steal a minute Lord,
Just at the sink or ironing board,
To ask the blessings of your grace,
I see then in my small one’s face,

That you have blessed me all the while,
As I stop to kiss that precious smile.

- Author Unknown

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We all need ‘em to talk to. To bitch to.  To ask questions.  To make sure that we are doing this whole mom thing right.  To be around another adult that you can actually carry on a conversation with.

Mom friends are IMPORTANT.

Surprisingly making mom friends has been pretty easy for me… but I’ve had to sift through some, um, weird ones to get to the ones that I really like.

Not being someone who wanted to stay home all of the time with Monkey, I sat out to meet other moms & join mommy groups.  Who in the world knew how complicated some of these mommy groups were?!  Seriously.  Besides filling out your application, there were rules.

“You must attend at least two playdates a month or you will be kicked out.”

“You must wear the xyz shirt & carry a balloon so we know who you are.”  (Not even kidding on this one.)

“You must go through an initial period where you are not part of the group.  We will need to meet you & then decide if you are a right “fit” for our group.”

Mommy groups are no joke.

Anyways, I passed all of the tests & found one group that I love.  The people are great & I’ve made some wonderful friends. But I’m not here to blog about those awesome people.

Instead I’m going to tell you about one girl in particular.  Let’s call her “Gina”.

I met Gina in March at a daily exercise thing I was doing.  After seeing someone everyday you become friendly.  We exchanged phone numbers & were Facebook buddies.  I was excited to have a new friend!  Like I mentioned, we saw each other daily, but never outside of this exercise thing.

Then I arranged a mom’s night out & she joined me & a few other ladies.  We started at a Tapas Bar & it was a really fun time.  She is SO much more reserved than I am, but that wasn’t a big deal to me.  Anyways, she left us early to go home while we stayed out.  I thought nothing of it & had a good night.

Then things got weird.

I invited her & her son out to lunch.  To the Children’s Museum.  To the zoo.  To the mall play area.  To our house.  & nothing.  She had crazy excuses each time, including my personal favorite “I’m disinfecting my house today”.  Ohhh really?!

I stopped going to the exercise thing because it interfered with Monkey’s morning nap.  We both stopped texting each other & naturally I stopped inviting her out because she always said no… er, I mean she always had a crazy reason.

Oh, I should add that the very few times we did make plans, she would always contact me right before we would supposed to hang out & ask to “reschedule”.  Every damn time.

Anyways, the final straw was Monkey’s party.  She RSVPed that her family would be there, so I planned on them being there.  That means food, cupcakes, & the personalized party favor for her son.  Literally the day before his party I get a text saying that she won’t be able to attend.

Her in-laws were surprisingly them with a visit, she texted.  I texted her back that she could bring the in-laws.  The more the merrier.  She said no.  She asked if she could give Monkey’s present to another girl in our exercise class.  I told her she was going to class.  She asked if she could bring it over instead.  OK fine, I texted.

She dropped the gift off & it was a little awkward between us.  In my mind I already wrote her off just because she could never commit to anything & that’s annoying.  I get that we have kids & can’t always commit, but this girl never committed.

So the part that bothered me was that I don’t remember doing anything to piss her off.  I was always nice to her & invited her places.  She would confide in me about how her checking account would be overdrawn, so I’m thinking she didn’t have too much extra money to spend… But remember, I did invite her over to play with Monkey’s toys at our house.  It’s free.

& the zoo is free because we are members.  & the same goes for the Children’s Museum actually.  So it just doesn’t add up.

Well at Monkey’s party a mutual friend of ours made some comment about Gina not being at the party.  I didn’t say anything, but just said that something came up.  Our friend had a funny smirk on her fact & I asked her if she knew something that I didn’t know.

Apparently Gina had told our friend at an exercise class that after she went out with us, going out just wasn’t her thing.  She said that she would much rather hang out with her husband & son than to go out with friends.  (This is super weird to me, by the way.  I love my husband & adore my son, but good grief, I need a break from them too.)

So I still don’t totally get what happened to our friendship.  I guess we are just very different people.

What about y’all?  Have any funny stories of a friendship gone sour?  Or joining a mommy group?

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Boy am I glad I did!

I’ve never seen the waiting room as crowded as it was.  The “sick” side of the room was completely packed, while there were a few seats left on the “well” side.  We took our seats & started to chat it up with the people sitting by us.  Thankfully talking to others made the time pass because we were in the waiting room for 1.5 hours.

We’ve never had to wait that long.  I chalk it up to the fact that it was a Monday & school has started.  & we all know how full of germs school is.

Anyways, once the pediatrician looked into Monkey’s ears he told me that he has an ear infection.  I was happy.  Obviously, not happy that my son has pain in his ears, but relieved (better word) that there is something going on with him to make him cranky.

Isn’t mother’s intuition great?!

I feel like a “real” mom… I knew something wasn’t right with my child & I was right.  If you ever feel like this with your child, go with your instinct.  Really.  There is a reason that we are all moms.

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Oh how I love & look forward to Sunday mornings.

But lately it seems like Sunday mornings don’t go my way.  Two Sundays ago my husband was going out of town, so I didn’t sleep in.  I wanted to savor the extra bit of time together before taking him to the airport.

And then there’s this morning.

I was happy when I realized it was Sunday.  Of course Sunday mornings mean a lot more lately just because Monkey has been sleeping with me & I feel like I’m on duty with him day & night.  I was excited about sleeping in my bed alone & not having anyone kick me in the head. Or throat. Or neck.  You get the idea…

Monkey was sleeping in between us & woke up at 7am.  He was really awake & ready to go so I was happy when my husband started getting out of bed.  But then he said, “Can you watch Monkey while I pee & I’ll come back to get him?”  I point blank told him that I could not & that he could take Monkey.  (I mean, I do it every.single.morning.  Can’t he?!)

He got Monkey out of bed & I went back to sleep.  I was dreaming about a new dress & getting my hair done & then I hear a faint “Hiiiii”.  I was confused.  Why was my son in my room?!

Oh because my husband thought he might want to nap with me & then he put Monkey in the bed with me.  WHAT??!

Of course he did not want to nap & then I was awake.  He came & picked up Monkey from the bed & said, “Go back to sleep.”  Yeah, right.

So I was awake.  & maybe I’m being a baby about all of this, but it’s really effing annoying.  It’s the ONE time that is supposed to be all mine & we all know how much our lives change when we have a baby, so that time is important!

When I got up he gave me a hug & said he was sorry for waking me up, which was nice, but I was already in a pissy mood.  Then he went outside & I was left with Monkey…. So I didn’t even get to eat slowly & quietly.  Instead I had to keep Monkey entertained & keep cleaning his runny nose.

I don’t know… Being a mom is awesome, but lately it’s been trying.  Monkey isn’t sleeping & it’s rough.  He’s really cranky & just not the happy baby that he usually is.  Of course I can handle it, but when I can’t look forward to bedtime anymore (bc he isn’t sleeping through the night right now), it seems like the end is not in sight.  There is no time when I can just do what I want to do.

The other day, in fact, I was thisclose to wishing I had a job.  The day was that rough.

I can’t remember the last time I took a bath & relaxed.  Or the last time that I pampered myself.  Or the last time that I worked out by myself (Yesterday I was doing p90x & Monkey wanted to be picked up instead.) Or the last time I even put lotion on.  I’m constantly chasing around a little guy, whom I’m completely in love with, but everyone needs a little break to recharge once & a while.  It’s just normal.

So that’s why Sunday mornings are so important to me.  It’s such little things, but sleeping in & taking my time eating breakfast are things that I don’t get to do anymore & I look forward to them.

Oh well, there’s always next Sunday.

(My husband just felt so bad, so he took Monkey out & said they’d be back in an hour, which is nice of him to do.)

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Even my husband was excited over being able to talk loud downstairs, to watch television as loud as we wanted, & to go to sleep without the monitor on & the lullaby music that is usually playing in Monkey’s room.

Like I mentioned in the comments, I am pretty sure that all this craziness is because Monkey is getting a molar in at the bottom of his mouth.  I read a bunch of stories from parents about just how awful molars are, how they can disrupt sleep, & how much pain they cause the little babes.

I’m just going to say it now, babies should be born with a mouthful of teeth because this teething business is ridiculous.  & I guess it’s a good thing that us adults don’t remember just how horrible it was when we were babies.

I find myself constantly wondering if & when Monkey will go back to his regular routine… You know, taking 2 naps (I’ll settle for one nap since he’s getting older) & sleeping through the night (most important to me).  It’s amazing what a little uninterrupted sleep does for a person.

Not kidding, each & every night I think, “This is it.  This is THE night that Monkey is going to not wake up until it’s daylight outside the next day.”  & I’m wrong each & every time.  I’ll admit that it’s frustrating, probably more so for my son, but still…

This little period of teething is a constant reminder of just how good I’ve had it the past 12 months of Monkey’s life.  I mean really, he’s been a great sleeper, hardly cranky, & completely loving to his momma… which leads me to realize that I’m a wimp.  It’s only been 1.5 weeks of this mess & I’ve had enough.

Enough of the runny nose.  The cranky babe.  The no sleep.  The pain he’s going through. & just how hard putting him in his crib is.  I’m ready to go back to how it used to be.

So that brings me to the title of this post… I purchased my first box of wine today.  Makes me laugh every time I think about it.  Boxed wine was invented for moms I’m convinced.

Cheers!

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& now it’s pretty bad.

Saturday, August 14th – Monkey & I went to two birthday parties, which meant that he really did not have a nap.  He was exhausted when it was time for bed, so we thought he would sleep until his usual time, maybe even longer.

Wrong.

He woke up around 11pm screaming.  None of this crying stuff that babies do… This was full-on someone is trying to kill me screaming.  Of course Tarzan & I ran into his room & comforted him.  Maybe he had a nightmare?  Maybe his teeth are hurting him?  Maybe he’s freaking out because he missed having a nap today.

We didn’t know what was going on.  Tarzan rocked him back to sleep & we went to bed like normal.  (This was the last time that we slept together, I’ll have you know.)

Throughout that night Monkey kept waking up screaming.  The same blood piercing, I want to claw my eyes out kind of scream.  It was the middle of the night, we were exhausted, & at our wit’s end…  So we brought him into our room.  He was still acting scared & screaming, so we turned on the lamp & then we all went to sleep.  The light seemed to have calmed him down to fall asleep.

Sunday. Tarzan went out of town for business, so I was left with Monkey all by myself.  For the first time.  Not completely ideal, but I honestly thought that Saturday night was just a fluke.  I was wrong.  Monkey ended up napping in the car for 2.5 hours, so I just keep driving around.  I figured he needed the sleep from the night before.  When it was time for bed, I did the normal routine at the usual time.  He went down fine & was sleeping soundly.

Then he woke up screaming at 8:30pm. & 9:30pm. & 10:30pm.  Then he slept in his crib until screaming again at 5am, which is when I brought him into my bed.

Monday. We were busy all day running errands, so Monkey had two naps, but both were in the car.  Monday night was a repeat of the previous nights, but he slept in his crib until about midnight, woke up screaming, & I brought him in my bed.

(I am fully aware that I’m creating a very bad habit of bringing him in my bed, but I am just so tired.  & desperate.)

Tuesday. I had a hair appointment & some people were coming to look at our house at 7pm, so Monkey stayed at my parent’s house.  My mom said that he woke up from midnight until 4am & she could not calm him down.  Finally they both fall asleep in her living room & then Monkey got up at 6am.

Wednesday. Tarzan & I went to a concert so my mom came over to watch Monkey.  He didn’t go to sleep until 8:30pm & then woke up screaming right when we got home, around 1am.  Tarzan just brought him into our bed & slept upstairs.  I went to Barnes & Noble the next day to buy the Ferber book.

Thursday. Same song & dance.  Monkey goes to bed, wakes up screaming, & does not calm down for Tarzan so he brings Monkey to me in our bed.  The second Monkey is next to me, he is calm & drifts off to sleep.

Friday. Monkey had a rash on his back, so I made a dr. appointment to get it checked out.  Our regular doctor is out of town, so we see the on-call doctor.  I decide to ask him about Monkey’s weird sleep.  He checked Monkey out & told me that he must be having tummy troubles, even though he said that his tummy was not tender.  He said night time makes the pain worse.  I asked why Monkey would be completely calm as soon as he sees me or gets into bed with me, & the doctor said that babies & moms have a special bond.

I start thinking that this guy doesn’t know what the hell he is talking about.

Then he tells me to give Monkey 5mL of benadryl every 6 hours at night.  Now I’m thinking that he should have his medical license revoked.  I say, “So basically I’m just drugging my child so that we can all get some sleep?”  He didn’t really answer that question.

I’m thinking I wasted my $25 co-pay for this quack that should not be practicing medicine if he doesn’t want to listen to what I’m telling him & just wants me to try to knock my kid out at night.

This night was no better than the previous nights.  I went upstairs to rock Monkey when he screamed & the second I picked him up he calmed down.  He fell asleep almost instantly & I waited about 10 minutes before putting him back into his crib.  Not one word of a lie, the second I put him in his crib, he got up, reached for me, & started to cry.  I gave in & he slept in my bed again.

Saturday. We went to another birthday party which meant that Monkey napped in the car.  He slept in his crib until screaming at 11pm, which is when Tarzan brought him in bed with us.

Sunday. We were out & about & he took one nap at home (on me though) & one nap in the car.  Both short.  He woke up at 11pm on the dot & wouldn’t calm down for Tarzan, so he slept with me in my bed.  Again.

When he sleeps with me he is usually restless & moves around a lot, but never wakes up until the morning.  Last night was different.  He woke up at 1am & 4am & cried & was grabbing his ear.  I know he does not have an ear infection (the dr. on Friday checked) & I do know he is teething, so maybe his mouth/ear was just bothering him.

So here it is Monday & I’m just at a loss.  I’m totally onboard with Ferber’s progressive-waiting approach, but I just don’t know if Monkey is in pain & I should not do it.  I need my sleep.  My child needs his sleep.  My husband & I need to be sleeping in the same bed.  But I don’t know what to do.

I wish Monkey could talk.

This is, by far, the hardest time in his life for me.  I’ve always been able to figure him out before & now I’m at my wit’s end.  I feel like he’s a newborn & I just want to scream when he does.  It’s frustrating.

Oh & just a word about the Ferber method.  I picked up the book as a last resort.  I’d heard so many things about “crying it out”, but never wanted to be that mean to my baby.  It was only after reading the book in entirely that I realize that Ferber is not about just letting your baby cry & cry & cry.  The things he says in the book make total sense & I think he’s gotten a bad rap from people talking about a subject they know nothing about.

Now that I’ve said that…

Please tell me that someone out there knows what I’m going through… I’m looking for advice, experience, support, whatever.  It’s so strange to me that Monkey was a great napper & sleeper for literally the first 12 months of his life & the one night changes everything.  I’d love to hear your own Ferber stories too.

Also, if Monkey is teething, should I wait to do the Ferber method?  Is it too late to try to sleep train?  Will Monkey just go back to normal & I should just wait it out?

I feel like I’ve never been so confused in my life.

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Ha!  That was the easy part!  All he did was sleep, eat, & go to the bathroom.

Now, I’m consistently chasing him around.  He’s not walking yet, but is thisclose to grasping the idea of it… At least that’s what I think.  He’s a super fast crawler though & keeps me busy chasing after him.  He’s into everything & our house shows that.  We have built-in bookshelves with nothing of ours on the bottom two shelves.

Hint: If you have bookshelves too, you can do what we did to the shelves that your baby can reach…  We put some of his toys in there, like dump trucks, stackers, sorters, & books.  He loves going over to the shelves & grabbing his own toys.

Besides Monkey being a typical little boy & into absolutely everything, we’ve been busy with new changes going on.  Nope, I’m not pregnant.

My in-laws were here & it was awesome having them in town.  Can you believe I just said that?! They were such a big help & it was nice being able to do the laundry & dishes without having a little one distract me.

Speaking of distractions, yesterday I was folding laundry in my bedroom.  Usually I just shut the door so Monkey can’t escape.  I had only been folding clothes for maybe two minutes & I didn’t hear Monkey.

You know that when you don’t hear anything from your child, usually that means they are getting into some kind of trouble, right?  Sure enough I see Monkey’s two feet & that was it.  He is obsessed with our dog, who resides under our bed for a lot of the day because Monkey chases him.  Monkey had pushed himself under our bed to be closer to our dog.  I quickly pulled Monkey out, & was so happy that I caught him when I did.

I couldn’t even imagine if he put himself completely under the bed.  Thankfully I will keep a closer eye on my little escape artist.

So back to the new changes…

It looks like we will be moving.  To another state.  For my husband’s business.  For only one year.  Holy crap.

Our house is on the market right now & that’s quite a challenge.  You know, to try my hardest to keep the house clean for a showing while having a 12 month old run around.  It’s crazy!  It seems like just when I get the house picked up it becomes a mess again.  ’Tis life with a baby, I suppose.

So as you can see I don’t have a lot of free time.  At night Monkey goes to bed around 7:30pm.  We eat dinner, I pick up a bit, & then I want some time for myself, whether it’s reading, having a glass of wine, taking a bath, etc.

Speaking of baths, Monkey has been pooping while taking his bath.  Anyone know of any tricks to help with this?!

I know this post is random, but that’s all I got  Monkey is finishing his breakfast now, & my motherly duties are calling…

I will try to post more regularly.  Believe me, I do miss it & hearing from you all!  Thanks to the loyal readers out there!

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Last night I worked on the centerpieces & I love the way they turned out.  I wrapped three different sized boxes with wrapping paper, bought a little dog that has a “1″ on it to sit on the top of the boxes & balloons will go on the side.  It looks cute & I’m probably not doing it justice by trying to describe it.  (I’ll post pictures of it after the party happens.)

My in-laws are coming in town today & I know that will take away time from setting everything up.  Remember, though my in-laws mean well, they are, um, very needy, which drives me up the wall.

I know that all first birthday parties are more for the parents & I know that Monkey won’t really remember any of this, but I love that I’m going a bit overboard.  It’s a celebration for me & Tarzan too – We survived our first year of parenthood.  We made it!

The party is at our house & there will be about 62 people here.  We aren’t having any activities (except a pinata) since the oldest child is 21 months.  I think the kids (13 of them) will hang out in the gameroom & just play with the many baby toys that Monkey has.  I’ve ordered most of the food, the cupcakes, & Monkey’s smash cake.  I’ve also put together all of the party favors: pails & shovels for the beach with a book, sidewalk chalk, crazy straws, goldfish, bubble wand, & a rubber duck.  I’ve put all of the kids names on the pails & they turned out super cute.

Speaking of Monkey’s smash cake… It wasn’t supposed to be ordered.  I was supposed to make it, but after three attempts of using the Wilton Giant Cupcake Pan, I gave up & went to the professional.  I spent $30 on the pan & it didn’t come with any instructions.

How hard can baking a giant cupcake really be, I asked myself.  Well, apparently I’m a moron in the kitchen or it is a bit more difficult than making a regular cake.  The first time was the best, except I forgot to add vegetable oil & the cake was very dry.  The second try the batter overflowed & made a huge mess in my oven.  And the third time it overflowed & the bottom half was still raw.

The crazy part is that I did the same thing all of the three times & it kept turning out worse & worse.  The cake lady said, “Poor you.  That’s why you leave this up to the professionals.”  So right, so I shelled out another $50 for her to make Monkey a giant cupcake.

I also made a photo montage complete with music on a DVD.  Of course I’m not going to subject everyone to watch it, but I will throw it out there & give people the option if they want to see it.  It makes me cry every single time I see it because my baby just grow up so fast.

Before I end this, I want to take a little poll about opening up presents at birthday party.  I’m not sure what etiquette says about opening birthday gifts in front of people, but personally, I’m not a fan.  I’m so appreciative of the gifts given to Monkey, but I think it’s safe to say that I’ll be the one opening everything up & he won’t have the birthday reaction that everyone is hoping to see.  I think he’ll be more interested in the wrapping paper actually.

I didn’t want to open the gifts, but some people think that is rude… Like invite me to your party & open the gift in private so you can show your true feelings about it, which is so not the case for me.  I just think it’s boring to watch someone open gifts, whether it be a birthday party, a wedding shower, or a baby shower.  & with over 50 people here.

Oh. My. Gosh. It’ll be LONG.

So, what’s your opinion on this & what did you do at your child’s first birthday party?  I’m interested in knowing!

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An emotional mess.

I started fast-forwarding to a few years down the road when he won’t just come up to me & give me kisses.  To the time when I drop him off at school & he shies away from hugging me because he’s too embarrassed.  To the time when I won’t be his whole world & he’ll choose playing with his friends more than me.  Then driving & being a wreck about anything happening to him.  To wondering if he’s drinking or doing drugs at parties, all while hoping & praying that I brought him up in the right way to decline on those two things.  To him going off to college.  To him meeting a girl.  Getting married.  Dancing with me at his wedding.  And then being a mother-in-law to someone that hopefully likes me & wants to hang out with me.

Oh man, I tell you, I’m a mess.

(I fully realize how crazy it may sound that I’m already thinking about my son getting married.  When I told Tarzan about this & even had tears in my eyes, he thought I was kind of crazy.  He has a point, but I think a mom might think about stuff a little different than a dad.  Or maybe I’m just crazy.  Who knows.)

Monkey needs me now & I know a time will come when everything will change.  I know that I can’t hold on to my baby forever, but he’s just growing up so fast.  A lot faster than I ever imagined.

And it really makes me so sad on one hand, but on the other, it’s really excited to see him growing up & exploring so much.  He’s such a curious little boy & wants to know about everything.  I saw a video on You Tube this morning & I loved it.  I loved that it made me take a step back & think about how much I love this time in my life.  It also made me cry like a little baby, so consider yourself warned!

Sure there are times when I get frustrated or feel like I could sleep for 3 more hours in the morning, but I’m not taking anything for granted.  Babies aren’t babies for a long time & I’m so blessed that I was chosen to be Monkey’s mom.  I love him more than anything & in the “harder” times I remind myself of this.  I’m cherishing the times, good & bad, because I know that they will pass so fast.

Gone within a blink of an eye really.

Cherish your babies & enjoy this time together.  It goes by so quickly & before you know it, your baby will be all grown up & you will wonder where the time went.

Related posts:

1. Desperate times call for desperate measures… or flipping the baby mattress After 3.5 weeks of Monkey not sleeping for very long...
2. A Mother’s Prayer Dear Lord, it’s such a hectic day, With little time...
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