Drishtikon

Decisions

2011-06-24T12:32:00.002-05:00

Stability of the known or insecurity of the unknown? For now, it's the latter...
Settle with the present or keep chasing the future? For now, it's the latter...
Let go of the past or seek a closure? For now, it's the latter...
Matribhoomi (motherland) or karmabhoomi (karma-land)? For now it's the latter...

Decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free...

MSD: Beginning of the End?

2011-03-12T13:55:00.004-05:00

When Mahendra Singh Dhoni (MSD) burst on to the international stage and made news for his long locks and powerful hitting, I was a proud underground student in his hometown of Ranchi. More than six years later, I am not just disillusioned with his plans for the Indian team but also by his apparent disregard for 'playing for the crowds' (did I sense a streak of arrogance there and if so, beware MSD - those crowds buy the products you endorse). In his transition from a stable wicketkeeper batsman symbolizing the rise of small towns within Indian cricket to the power center of this current Indian team, he has been giving ample signals of losing the plot and cracking under the pressure of being crowned the Indian cricket captain.

Let me explain.

In India, Mahendra Singh Dhoni has been appreciated for his powerful hitting and intelligent captaincy. The 'Captain Cool' took over at a time when Sourav Ganguly was almost unceremoniously told that his position was no longer tenable in the team. Pretty soon, he was leading an inexperienced team to glory in the inaugural World Twenty20, and winning the last tri-series to be held in Australia. When Anil Kumble handed over the Test reins in 2008, he celebrated with a home victory against Australia. Apart from the World Twenty20 win, his leadership also oversaw India's rise to the pinnacle of the Test ladder, and a massively successful three years for the Chennai Super Kings franchise that did well in each of the first three seasons of the IPL before winning the event in 2010, and going a step further to claim the Champions League in the same year. He could do no wrong - and here's where the problem lay.

Dhoni has emerged as a very strong voice in the selection committee. Just in the past couple of months, he has not only demonstrated the fact that he can keep his friends in the World Cup squad but also ruled out some strong candidates without much explanation. Now I understand that the captain needs to have a say in team selection and he needs to be confident about his players abilities to deliver. However, here are some oft asked concerns: ever since Yuvraj Singh hit those six sixes, nothing much was heard about him in the past two years except his ever growing belly. How come he was still given a chance almost at the expense of equally capable but lesser known players? How do we explain R. Ashwin making it to the team and not playing even one game even though Piyush Chawla has been completely off color? And seriously, if Zaheer and Yuvraj can carry those bellies on to the field, I'd rather much vote to give a younger, faster player a chance to prove himself rather than rely so heavily on the old order. 11 fresh players did win the inaugural Twenty20 World Cup, didn't they?

The point I am trying to make is that Dhoni has systematically provided opportunities to people he likes (Raina and Ashwin are glaring examples and both of them failed to carry their CSK form to the international arena). Yuvraj will play no matter what. And the bowlers - what can I say? Rather than complaining now that we don't have world class bowlers who can field as well, he should have cut them short two years back when their individual deficiencies were covered up with the euphoria of team wins. Honestly, why blame just Dhoni? The BCCI is equally complacent in the systematic erosion of quality bowlers in India - the IPL was tailor made for batsmenship, we agreed to play substandard bowlers who promised 150kmph but finally delivered only 120kmph (read Munaf Patel), we never questioned the shelf life of some pathetic fielders (read Ashish Nehra) and never bothered to look for a spinner beyond Bhajji until it was too late in the day.

Today's loss to South Africa in the World Cup was not lost because the Indian batting collapsed in the last ten overs, or because we failed to stop the singles or because (as most people believe) Nehra bowled the last over. We have been losing it inch by inch every time we decided to be intoxicated with victories under MSD, hailing our cricketers as demi gods one day and stoning their homes the other, and most importantly, not asking more tough questions. The victories and fan reactions are group behavior beyond individual control but on the third point I'd like to see a more proactive questioning of the BCCI for the money it makes from your and my emotions, the pitches being produced to groom only batsmen and how the game is moving from the one everyone loves to a soul less, money minting machinery.

I recall reading this article more than two years back and being moved to tears sitting in my office. Today, I am more than sure that once the great man retires, I'll have a lesser urge to watch the game ball by ball, all day long; which if done by many individuals of my generation should surely send a strong message that we're willing to give up something so dear to us if it is not properly managed. That should also take care (to an extent) of exaggerated fan reactions and the madness wherein sub standard performances are swept underneath the carpet. Until that happens, I am convinced that Dhoni is becoming a victim of not just how things have shaped up in Indian cricket during the past couple of years but also of the persona built around him - a captain that can deliver the improbable.

Winning this Cup won't be easy but even to come remotely close, the team and its captains need to be shaken out of their callous bubble. Even if we do end up winning, it seems like Dhoni's ramblings and arrogance has already set off a ticking time bomb that will take him and his pot bellied cronies down.

Of course, like every Indian cricket fan, I'm fervently praying for an Indian win with a Sachin century in the finals. Beyond that, RIP MSD.

Kotak Mahindra Prime: The Benchmark in Bad Banking

2010-09-18T00:20:00.004-05:00

Dear Uday Kotak,

As such I do not write about my experiences with institutions (good or bad), but hey, there's always a first when some organization makes you feel so helpless that you do not know what else to do but write a blog. So, here's an open letter to you since you share your name with the banking institution that in my mind is synonymous with all that can be bad with stupid, private banks.

To start off, your bank doesn't really have the loyalty that an ICICI or SBI commands in India - the only reason I even dared venture take my car loan from Kotak Mahindra Prime is because of the enticing 3% interest rate that your guys offered. Little did I know then that the money saved in interest would go to Airtel, trying to call your call centers to lodge complaints.

So here's what my problem really is: My monthly EMI (due the 10th of every month) is supposed to be auto-deducted via the Electronic Clearing Service (ECS) to which effect I have filled out the forms and attested my signatures with my bank thrice in presence of your "banking executive". However, every month, no money was ever deducted and your "extortionists" (read: collection agents) always knock up later in the month asking for cheques. Every month your call center employees would say that the ECS is not working because 'a new form now needs to be filled' or that something is not working at your end. Really? I mean I have filled out and signed on every form you guys want me to fill, thrice! And I am willing to fill more if need be. However, your Hyderabad office is not working on Saturdays (which leaves me with the option of only calling on weekdays). Last week I've called your national call center, your Hyderabad office and also my car dealer out of desperation but Kotak officials never got back as to how I can pay you! On top of everything, yesterday your bank sent me a notice to pay up the dues along with a fine of Rs. 10,268!!! I must say, you have some really nice ways to make up for that low interest rate but your bank can kiss that number good bye coz I am not paying a dime extra for Kotak's mismanagement.

Oh, and btw, what really happened to those extra 6 cheques your bank took in case the ECS did not work or if I did not really pay up? Why don't you guys encash those instead of fining the customer for no fault of theirs? And in what world does skipping an EMI of Rs. 8,607 invite a fine of Rs. 10,268? Who is doing your math?

If you ever read this letter, please know that I would have paid your legitimate dues had I known how to. ECS does not work, you do not encash the extra cheques, your officials do not call back (registered a complaint twice with your national call center) and now, your private bank does not work on Saturdays. Really, if you do not want my money, its cool but at least don't bother sending notices!

Oh, and one last thing, please invest in making your website customer friendly and give us the option of a customer login - this is 2010 and no one has the time or energy to run after your woefully sad banking institution to accept our money every month.

Sorry, but I hope your bank closes sooner than later.

Helpless and disheartened,
Your Customer

Leh and Ladakh

2010-07-28T05:25:00.105-05:00

“For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

Recently I took a 6 night, 7 day trip to Ladakh which is the highest plateau of the Indian state of Kashmir with much of it being over 3,000 m (9,800 ft). Inhabited by people of Indo-Aryan and ethnic Tibetan, it is one of the most sparsely populated regions in the area. Ladakh is sometimes called "Little Tibet" as it has been strongly influenced by Tibetan culture. On popular demand, here's where all I went along with pictures of some of the most breathtaking views I've seen.

Day 1: New Delhi to Leh

Situated at the height of about 3,505 meters above sea level, Leh is the most beautiful and easily accessible place in Ladakh. Leh is the most common entry point to Ladakh region. Leh is connected by air from Delhi and it takes about 65 minutes to reach Leh Kushok Bakula Rimpochee Airport from Delhi. Surrounded by the majestic Himalayan peaks, Leh is rinsed by the Zanskar River, which meets the Indus below. The temperature during the winter dips below zero and hence July to September is the best time to visit Ladakh.

Tip: Day 1 is spent getting acclimatized to the high altitude and low levels of oxygen - trust me, you would need this day to relax if you're coming in the from the plains. Try exploring the main Leh market in and around the mosque.

Also, plan your days in two halves - before lunch and after lunch - it's important that one rests during the day else exhaustion and altitude sickness can take you down real quick.

Day 2: In and Around Leh

Day 2 began with a light breakfast at the hotel and jumping in to our Toyota SUV which we had booked for the duration of the journey.

Phyang Monastery of Ladakh is situated at a distance of approximately 40 km to the west of Leh town. There are a number of sacred shrines situated inside the monastery complex. Also, there are some exquisite wall paintings, dating from the royal period, adorning the monastery. Phyang contains numerous sacred shrines inside the monastery, frescoes dating from the royal period, and a 900 year old museum which has an extensive collection of idols including a number of fine Kashmiri bronzes probably dating to the 14th century, thangkas, Chinese, Tibetan and Mongolian firearms and weapons.

After Phyang, we traveled to the Spituk Gompa which is perched on a high hill overlooking the Indus river and well as the main Indian Army base in the area. The Spituk monastery is known for its collection of Buddhist artifacts. One can see the Indian Army helicopters practicising sorties all through the day and the view from this hill is simply breathtaking.

Hall of Fame near Leh is worth a visit for every citizen. It is a glorious museum constructed by Indian army. You can see the memorabilia, eminent defence personalities with biographies, images and weapons used during Kargil war and belongings of enemy soldiers found at war site. Another section of this building is entirely dedicated to Siachen and its heroes.

After a quick lunch and a brief nap, I headed to the Shanti Stupa. which is an impressive white-domed structure in Chandspa that is beautifully illuminated at night. It was built by a Japanese Buddhist organization to commemorate 2500 years of Buddhism and to promote World Peace. The Shanti Stupa was inaugurated by the Dalai Lama in 1985. The views of the sunset and sunrise from the Shanti Stupa are especially spectacular and the majestic Budhist artistry add more than a dash of color to the barren mountain surroundings.

Tip: In between Phyang and Spituk, one can stop at what is known as the 'Indus View Point'. This point offers great views of the Indus valley. As your driver to show you the only ice hockey ring in that region, which of course, would be a pond in the summer.

Day 3: In and Around Leh

Day 3 began on a scary with both my friend and I waking up with splitting head aches. Both of us had vomited at least once during the past couple of days and it seemed like the trip would have to be cut short since my friend started having a pain in his chest. We decided to pop in some medicines and move on - it worked like magic and the trip was rescued.

We drove 40 kms east of Leh to the wonderful meeting place of two main rivers in the region - the Indus and the Zanskar. The Sangam, as it is popularly known, offers a pristine view of the mountains and blue waters gushing down from the glaciers high above us.

Magnetic Hill, located on the Leh-Kargil-Batalik national highway, is a gravity hill located on the way back to Leh from the Sangam. The hill is alleged to have magnetic properties strong enough to pull cars uphill and force passing aircraft to increase their altitude in order to escape magnetic interference; in reality, the effect is an optical illusion created by the gravity hill.

A little further on our way back to Leh, one can stop at Gurudwara Pathar Sahib, where Guru Gobind Singh once meditated.

In the evening, we drove up to the Leh Palace which was the residence of the Ladakhi royal family. There is an Rs. 5 entry fee for Indian nationals and Rs. 100 for foreign nationals. Since the palace was undergoing renovation when I visited, I found it pretty dull and boring as compared to the otherwise colorful Ladakh.

A few hundred metres above the Leh Palace lies the Tsemo Gompa. One of the most treasured possessions of this Gompa is a three-story high solid gold idol of Maitrieya Buddha (future Buddha, also known as the laughing Buddha). Near the monastery is an old fort, which, because of neglect, lies mostly in ruins now. One can trek up to the Tsemo Gompa from the Leh Palace however, we decided to drive so as not to risk tiring ourselves again.

Tip: I would recommend timing your visit to the Gurudwara around lunch since the langar there is delicious. Indian Army personnel can be seen cooking and serving at this place.

Day 4: Leh to Nubra Valley via Khardung La Pass

Day 4 started with a 4 hour drive from Leh to Nubra Valley where we would be spending our next couple of days.

Khardung La located 40 Km north of Leh links the capital of Ladakh with the road to the Siachen Glacier. It said to be the world's highest motorable pass at 18,380 ft or 5,602 m. The spectacular view and a cup of tea from the tea-stall at Khardung La, will make you feel you're on top of the world. One should take a couple of minutes before getting in to the snow at Khardung La - my friend's and my head was spinning as soon as we stepped out of the car due to the rarefied air.

Nubra Valley is about 130 kms from Leh. The Shyok River meets the Nubra (the Siachen Glacier melts in to this river) to form a large valley that separates the Ladakh and the Karakoram Ranges. Along the Nubra river lies the village of Sumur where we had rented a cottage. The owner of these cottages, Lt. Col Stobdan Kalon (Retd.) was part of the first team from the Indian Army to step foot on the Siachen Glacier. This lovely campsite by the river, close to the village, like some others in Nubra, offers good tents-for-two with beds and a table and common dining and wash rooms. The villages are irrigated and fertile, producing wheat, barley, peas, mustard for oil, and a variety of fruits and nuts. Since the valley is at lower elevation, it has a mild climate. This climatic condition has created lush vegetation in the valley and the valley is, therefore, called the “Orchard of Ladakh". Pictures do not do justice to the beauty of this place and it is one of the most scenic places I have witnessed. We took long walks in Sumur village on this day and soaked in the mesmerizing views that it had on offer.

Tip: Since Ladakh is on India's sensitive north western border, the movement of foreign tourists is restricted in some areas of Ladakh. You WILL need an Inner Line Permit to go to Nubra Valley so check with your travel operator on this.

Day 5: In and Around Nubra Valley

Day 5 began early and we set out to explore the valley and its many wonders.

Hunder is a village after Diskit Village in Nubra Valley. Its more peaceful with more pastures around. Hunder runs into a desert, a vast stretch of sand dunes. The desert against the backdrop of the rugged reddish-brown mountains, the rolling sand dunes seem truly out-of-the-world. One will see a few double-humped Bactrian camels treading through the sands and one can take a camel ride on them too.

Diskit Monastery also known as Deskit Gompa or Diskit Gompa is the oldest and largest Buddhist monastery (gompa) in the Nubra Valley. Approach to the monastery is through a flight of steps made of stones, which lead to the prayer hall of the monastery. Diskit Gompa has quite an interesting legend attached to it. It is believed that a Mongol demon once lived here and was considered to be a sworn enemy of Buddhism. He was annihilated near the monastery. However, even after his death, his body kept coming back to the monastery again and again. It is said that even today the wrinkled head and hand of the demon lie inside a temple of the monastery, which is filled with fierce Gods and Goddesses. Personally, I loved the 270 degree view of the Nubra valley from top of this Gompa - no words can describe its serenity and peaceful beauty.

The waters of the hot sulphur springs at the village of Panamik, the last destination travellers are permitted to travel to in Nubra, are believed to have certain medicinal qualities that cure a number of ailments.

The Samstanling Gompa at the relatively bigger Sumur Village is definitely worth a visit, and houses a fine collection of idols, frescos and tangkhas (painted and embroidered scrolls).

Tip: The walk back from Samstanling Gompa to Sumur village around sunset is best walk you can take for a long long time.

Day 6: Back to Leh

Day 6 began with our 4 hour ride back to Leh. This time the altitude sickness did not kick in around Khardung La. The snow had melted by the tonnes in the past 3 days and a lot more tourists were to be seen than when we had first come there.

Tip: Tibetan Refugee Market on Old Leh Road is another ideal place for shopping in Leh. For Tibetan-Ladakhi items of art one can head to Government Emporium.

Day 7: Back to New Delhi

The last day is the time to say good bye to this piece of heaven.

Tip: Be sure to arrive well in time for your flight - there is 4 layers of security at the airport.

ps: I was very happy with my travel package although I missed out on Pangong Lake. If I were to do this again, I will make spend one day less in Leh and go visit Pangong.

The (not so) Great Indian Humor Factory

2010-03-01T09:49:00.002-05:00

Last year, I became involved with a white woman. Friends of mine, from Bandra to Defence Colony, began congratulating me on my "achievement." "Well done yaar," they said, "How did you pull it off?" It was pathetic. I wondered if the whites were congratulating my girlfriend about landing a brown man. Silly as the whole affair was, it revealed to me the deep sense of inferiority that runs through our middle class.

Indians have a precarious sense of self. That, coupled with the fact that 80 per cent of our population has amoebic cysts in their brains, renders us the most humourless people to inhabit this planet.

We are a nation of cranks, constantly running scared of ourselves. Anything from lingerie to a painting can get our goat. We whine, we sulk, we vandalise.
We feel persecuted all the time. We are permanently upset. We are all chip and no shoulder. Is it any wonder, then, that we have never learnt to laugh at ourselves? We turn humans into idols, install them in temples, erect barbwire fences; if you attempt to scale the wall you will only end up hurting yourself on a jagged piece of glass.

Which is why no one dares scale the wall. Our stand-up comedy, for instance, is hideously obsequious. Instead of pulling an icon's pants down, the Indian stand-up seeks his blessings. Raju Srivastava regularly touches Amitji's feet on national TV, "Sir, aap ki nakal karte karte main yahaan tak pahunch gaya. Sab aap hi ki kripa hai."

Elsewhere, it is the job of the standup to walk around with a stack of pins and burst as many balloons as she can find. Every balloon is equal. No one is spared. Here, stand-up comedy is reduced to mere mimicry, imitating the mannerisms of a famous personality or spouting a well-known Bollywood dialogue. There are no gags. You never pull the rug from under anyone's feet.

Contrast this with America in the 1950s. In a famous piece called `Frank Sinatra has a Cold', Gay Talese writes about Sinatra and his cronies going to see a stand-up comic called Don Rickles.
Rickles goes for him the moment he spots him, calling Sinatra a washed-up singer. He then picks on one of his side kicks, Jilly: "How's it feel to be Frank's tractor? Yeah, Jilly keeps walking in front of Frank clearing the way." Later, when Sinatra gets up to leave, Rickles flies at him again, "Shaddup and sit down. I've had to listen to you sing..."

Sinatra loves it. Dean Martin, also in the audience, loves it so much he pours a bottle of whisky on his own head, and begins pounding the table like a madman.

Humour of this kind is unimaginable in 21st century India. Which is odd because we have had a long tradition of questioning our beliefs and sending up our holy cows, from the Carvaka philosophers onwards down to Kabir.

While the mainstream remains where it was sixty-three years ago, there is, however, for the first time, a new rumbling in the Indian underground. Young bands are putting out songs on the Internet that take on everything from our squeamishness about sex to joint families and religious tradition. Shor Bazaar's `Savita Bhabhi' goes, "Yehan ka tu native/ Society conservative! Aise in halaat mein/...Best to go online/Leke apne haath mein." Another song called `Katil Sardar' sends up the family. Referring to his two sons, the protagonist sings, "Pados de pind vich jake/ Apni maasi di kudiya nu f-karke ande si", as well as the langar: "Tussi utthe aao/ Dus cup chai de piyo/ Te das saal da dope the langar free le jao.") Sanjay Rajoura, a rookie stand-up comic from Delhi, also belongs to this new breed of audacious young Indians who are willing to rip apart everything from Americans to themselves. It's a clear and present sign that this generation is gaining in self-confidence and is slightly more secure of its place in the world than previous ones.

Rajoura's favourite gag is about Jats, "I am a Jat. Let me tell you something about Jats. One-third of my community is in the police, one-third are DTC bus conductors and the rest are criminals." I saw Rajoura at the Habitat Centre. The kids in the audience loved him but he managed to offend the fuddyduddies, one of who stood up and boomed, "Let me tell you, young man, that the maximum number of gallantry awards every year go to Jats." The old man might have missed the point completely. But the young man is certainly onto something. He has learnt to make fun of himself.

And in that gap between generations lies an inkling of hope. Maybe, just maybe, we will learn to laugh again.

(The writer is the author of Eunuch Park and the editor of Recess: The Penguin Book of Schooldays.)

Delhi: The only metropolis in India!

2010-02-11T23:55:00.003-05:00

There is only one metropolitan city in India. That one city is Delhi. The rest are all provincial towns.

Mumbai’s identity is behenji-turned-mod, with the behenji element as core. That shows through, repeatedly, in the actions of its various Senas. It has, for years.

The south Bombay and Bandra elites will, of course, protest that Mumbai doesn’t belong to the Thackerays, etc. Those are pointless protests, because the city belongs far less to them than it does to the two Senas. The very fact that for decades there have been significant political forces that claim the city for the ‘sons of the soil’ and treat migrants as outsiders is problematic.

Of course, the elites who live their lives between apartments in ‘towers’ and evenings at pubs might not feel this very strongly on a daily basis. They surround themselves with others like them, and live in their bubble.

But then, in Bombay — sorry, Mumbai — almost everyone lives in their own bubble. It’s a huge collection of ghettoes. There are Hindu, Muslim, Christian and Parsi ghettoes, and a few general rich people and poor people ghettoes. Even within these ghettoes there are further stratifications, strictly observed in most cases. For example, there are Gujarati buildings, Sindhi buildings, Jain buildings. There are buildings where only vegetarians are allowed and others where alcohol is banned. Of course, there are rich people buildings where everything goes. But in those, there is usually a separate ‘staff lift’ for the maids, cooks and drivers. Don’t get me wrong, I love Mumbai for many things. But these are the things I don’t like about it. And the traffic, the absence of space, and the year-long heat.

Bangalore’s climate cannot be faulted, and it is still a less insular place than Mumbai. The part of Bangalore — sorry, Bengaluru — that wants to be a global city, like Thomas Friedman imagines it is, is always in conflict with the part that wants to be a Kannadiga town. In the Kannadiga corner are two powerful forces: the Kannada language chauvinists, represented by groups like the Kannada Rakshana Vedike, and the Hindu right-wing, represented by groups such as the BJP, the RSS, the Bajrang Dal, the VHP and Ram Sene.

Most readers will remember the attack on women in a pub in Mangalore. Few of them would have heard that similar attacks happened to women on the streets of Bengaluru through 2008 and 2009. Those were passed off as ‘stray incidents’ and no one claimed ‘credit’ for them. Karnataka, including Bengaluru, in some measure, seems to accept that it is okay to attack women who dress in Western style and don’t speak the local language. It is also a place where dancing was banned, and pubs shut at 11 pm.

The town holds the same sense of resentment towards outsiders that Mumbai does. It also has the same class of ‘outsiders’ living their lives between office, MG Road, Brigade Road, some of the new IT ghettoes, and the airport. Some of these folks may believe they ‘belong’. Get real. Even the local Tamil population, after all the centuries they’ve been there, don’t ‘belong’.

Kolkata is, of course, undeniably Bengali in character, though it doesn’t have any overt politics of exclusion. It used to be a great city called Calcutta. But now it’s a city of those left behind, not in the same league as Delhi, Mumbai or Bengaluru in any field, including ‘culture’. Less said of Chennai, the city formerly known as Madras, the better. If you are a rich liberal from another town you are better off going to New York, where you probably have more friends anyway. In any case, you will never ‘belong’ in Chennai.

Which brings me to Delhi. It is the only city in India where anyone from anywhere in India or the world can come and set up home. No one, not even the Punjabis and the Jats, own the city. There is no organised group trying to stake claim to the city for ‘real Delhiites’. There are no mobs trying to throw immigrants out. If you are from North-east India or South India, you will face difficulties. But eventually, the city will accept you. Contrast this to the politics of insider and outsider that the North-east has seen for decades. Think back to how many thousands in the North-east have been killed or rendered homeless merely because they were not ethnically ‘locals’.

That doesn’t happen in Delhi. This place may seem coarse, but it doesn’t have the real barbarians: the Senas and unions that attack ‘outsiders’. Anyone from anywhere can claim to be a true Delhiite. That is why Delhi is the only metropolis in India.

The author of the article is Samrat - an email author for the Hindustantimes

Who wants another state? Now's the time...

2009-12-10T05:15:00.010-05:00

Fact:
The Central government of India has decided to give into the demands for a separate Telengana state, finally deciding on the decades old Telengana issue. For years, there has been a demand for a separate Telengana, carved from the southern province of Andhra Pradesh.

The Political Game:
"At the present we leave the decision to the high command": Congress leader Geeta Reddy

A high-level meet over the Telangana issue was convened at 10, Janpath, the residence of Congress President Sonia Gandhi and participated by Union Home Minister P. Chidambaram, Union Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee, and Union Minister for Law and Justice Veerappa Moily in the national capital.

Question:
Why? Is the Congress high command the right authority to determine the division of existing states in the Union of India? Is it really a constitutional authority with powers and if not, why was Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister K Rosaiah in New Delhi to meet Sonia Gandhi to discuss the Telangana issue? Why are our politicians sending "letters of request" to Sonia Gandhi to decide on whether a state should be bifurcated? One question you may ask is - Where the hell was our Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh? Well, of course, he returned from his tour of Russia on December 9 and the same evening the decision for Telangana was announced. One wonders how much time a jet lagged, 77 year old person was given to decide on issues of national importance? Or was it that his absence is really not important since the powers to be had already made up their mind?

What's Next:
Besides the Central government proving that it has weak knees (yet again - be it internationally or within the country), this decision is bound to stoke dormant separatist aspirations across the country. A demand for a separate Gorkhaland has already been raised (with a 96 hour bandh announced). One wonders how many pieces would India be divided in to until no one "feels neglected". Have we not learnt anything from how a bunch of traders from the East India company were able to easily conquer our (great?) nation (or, were they really responsible for bringing disparate, quarreling kingdom states in to one umbrella called India?). What is happening to us as a nation? Where are we really headed with so much confusion, hatred and dirty politics AND a clear lack of political participation from the common man, including myself.

"Mera Bharat Mahaan…Nahi Hai, Per Yeh Dosh Mera Hai." -- Anonymous

The Story of Two Castles

2009-04-23T18:18:00.005-05:00

The various objects that we see are impermanent. Because the various objects are all really the fundamental desire in us to see the impermanent things as permanent. This confusion between real and unreal is Maya.

I have a story to share.

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A little boy is on his knees, scooping and packing the sand with plastic shovels into a bright blue bucket. Then he upends the bucket on the surface and lifts it. And, to the delight of the little architect, a castle-tower is created. All afternoon he will work. Spooning out the moat. Packing the walls. Bottle tops will be sentries. Popsicle sticks will be bridges. A sandcastle will be built.

Elsewhere. A Big city. Busy streets. Rumbling traffic. A man is in his office. At his desk he shuffles papers into stacks and delegates assignments. He cradles the phone on his shoulder and punches the keyboard with his fingers. Numbers are juggled and contracts are signed and much to the delight of the man, a profit is made. All his life he will work. Formulating the plans. Forecasting the future. Annuities will be sentries. Capital gains will be bridges. An empire will be built.

Two builders of two castles. They have much in common. They shape granules into grandeurs. They see nothing and make something. They are diligent and determined. And for both the tide will rise and the end will come. Yet that is where the similarities cease. For the boy sees the end, while the man ignores it. Watch the boy as the dusk approaches. As the waves near, the wise child jumps to his feet and begins to clap. There is no sorrow. No fear. No regret. He knew this would happen. He is not surprised. And when the great breaker crashes into his castle and his masterpiece is sucked into the sea, he smiles. He smiles, picks up his tools takes his father's hand, and goes home.

The grown-up, however, is not so wise. As the wave of years collapses on his castle, he is terrified. He hovers over the sandy monument to protect it. He blocks the waves from the walls he has made. Salt-water soaked and shivering he snarls at the incoming tide. 'It's my castle,'
he defies. The ocean need not respond. Both know to whom the sand belongs. We, the grown-ups, don't know much about sand-castles. But children do.

Watch them and learn. Go ahead and build, but build with a child's heart. When the sun sets and the tides take -- applaud. Salute the process of life and go home.

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The story of the child, to an extent, reflects the story of my life in the US. And probably my tide is coming to wash away the castles of today...

What It Means If She Doesn't Call?

2009-01-29T22:39:00.005-05:00

Lily: Why would Natalie hang up on you?
Ted: I don't know.
Barney: Did you sleep with her sister?
Ted: No.
Barney: Did you sleep with her mom?
Ted: No.
Barney: I'm losing interest in your story.

You're having one of those days when you're thinking about the last cool girl you met, how you two had a great time together, how you'd love to meet her again and how the universe is seemingly conspiring against you guys meeting again. She seemed truly interested, but then you never heard from her again. Why does this happen for so many men?

Here are my top 5 reasons why certain women might not want to call you:

She was Busy: However hard our analytical minds might not want to believe this, its actually a big reason why girls don't call back. However, watch out for the eternal 'Oh-I-am-so-busy-always' kind of girl - they will not find time to grab lunch with you even when you let them know two weeks in advance.
She was Just Being Polite: Ever exchanged numbers with someone who seems interested, gave you the right number but never returned those calls? Well, she was just being polite dude. Translation - she does not want to hook up and you gotta move on. A simple thumb rule is to never try to make contact too soon, and wait between the trials. If the girl does not respond after three genuine attempts, its her loss. Say that loud - ITS HER LOSS!
She was Confused and Needs Time: There might be instances when you meet her and have a great time but on other days, she is just PMS-ing (defined in #3 here) over text/phone/in person. It’s fine to casually ask in a playful way, “I’m curious since you’re kinda cute -- are you dating anyone interesting right now?” Invite honesty from women and you might get lucky. If you wait and wonder, you’ll end up wasting your own time and energy. Give her time, if she is still talking and meeting you, she is interested in you. Everyone is allowed mood swings but don't let yourself be the Intellectual Whore - you might not be destined for the second ladder with certain girls.
She's Lost Interest: She was interested in you at first, but something happened along the way to change her mind about you. In this case, maybe she sensed some anxiety from you that she didn’t know how to figure out or handle. Or maybe she sensed a bit of desperation (“You’re going to call me, right?”). Communicating either anxiousness or desperation early on before a woman knows you is a sure attraction-killer. Relax. If she’ll call she’ll call. If not, you know she wasn’t the right one at the right time.
She's Just a B**ch: Well, enough said. Maybe she was just looking for a fling, for a casual encounter that you misinterpreted as being something more than what it was in her mind. In either case, the saying Angoor Khatte Hain* applies and you're free to bitch and forget about her.

Or you could just take the 'don't call her again' approach like Barney: ""What? Saying sorry to her would involve talking to someone I've already had sex with - which frankly is like changing the oil in a rental car".

:-)

ps: Feel free to add any good point in the comments section.
*Angoor khatte hain

Literal – Grapes are sour.

Meaning – Denial of the desirability of something, after one has found out that it cannot be reached or acquired.

Weight Loss: Yes You Can!

2009-01-13T17:05:00.014-05:00

Looking back at my previous struggles with weight loss, it is not difficult to understand why it took me 8 months more than my expected time period to lose weight. That is a long time! But losing 25 lbs is much easier than keeping it off - it needed a lifestyle change. Yesterday, as I stood on the weighing machine, it felt good to be back at the weight I was in May 2007.

158 lbs.

And I'd like to share some very minor changes in my lifestyle which DID WORK! Believe me, I am the last person who would give up on good food or not eat out. I still do eat out a lot, go to parties, eat a controlled amount of junk food but haven't gained weight in the past 300 days. I am writing only after being convinced that some of the points stated below DO ACTUALLY WORK!

Gimme My Life Back- Its the Mentality: Losing 25 lbs and keeping it off was never going to be easy. However, I did REALLY WANT to be healthy, proactive and lose that extra flab. I did not view losing weight as a punishing regime, rather a detox exercise to get back my good health. That's it - straight and simple - I dragged my body to the gym/court/playground and the mind followed.
Do Your Homework: I did a lot of background research and experimented with various exercise routines before settling in with what best suits me and my body. All of us are built differently with varying tolerance to exercise and physical stress. Talk to your body and determine where to draw the line. Read about a healthy and balanced diet and slowly replace meals with healthier options.
Don't Kill Yourself over the Math: I lost 87,500 extra calories over the past 11 months - that's a little over 2 lbs in a month (1 lb ~ 3500 cal). In the beginning it might sound great to lose weight quickly, however, the body has a natural and safe rate to lose it. Although I did get motivated seeing big numbers on the 'Calories burnt' counter, I quickly realized that I was burning myself out on occasions and never returned for long periods.
Enjoy the Routine, Talk about it and Reward Yourself: As I started to exercise regularly (3-4 times a week), I thought of it as fun and enjoyed the time as a major stress buster. I started making friends who themselves were trying to get healthy and we encouraged each other from time to time. I bought myself a pair of 32' jeans, 2 tight fitting party shirts amongst other items as incentives to keep the weight off. Nothing feels worse than buying expensive clothes and not being able to wear them coz of your size! :-)
Eat: This might sound illogical but I eat a lot after all my workouts. I make sure that I get plenty of saturated fats, proteins, fibre, carbs and vitamins. I am willing not to lose weight but cannot compromise on eating food - period.

Here's a time line with certain activities I involved myself with over the past year or so.

Evidently, unlike my previous attempts, I never relied on one activity to enjoy and hence never let it become a single point of failure. For example, I started running and training for a marathon in May. My knee popped. I was sad. I joined the Washington Cricket League and started playing a lot of cricket. The season ended. I was sad again. I found a racquetball partner until September (after which his semester as a Phd. student took over). I went to India in October. Ate a tonne there yet still lost weight. Why? No beer. Point noted - I removed beer as a means to quench my DAILY thirst. Come November, I did cardio in the gym alone. I was sad again coz I hate doing cardio alone. I found another racquetball partner in December through Craigslist. I haven't looked back since then. Point being - I never stopped completely.

If I can, so can you! Talk about it, set achievable goals and just do it. It feels great to be healthy again...

"I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff."

How to Handle Moral Dilemmas?

2008-12-07T23:57:00.020-05:00

Ethical/Moral Dilemma: An ethical dilemma is a situation that will often involve an apparent conflict between moral imperatives, in which to obey one would result in transgressing another. I am convinced that all dilemmas have roots in Fear of something or the other.

Background: I'd like to consider myself as a honest, straight talker on most occasions. Like most people, I do not wish to court controversy but would not hesitate letting people know of my point of view, if necessary. I believe I can learn lessons in tact from people at work, amongst others.

Situation: In the past 6 months, there have been at least 3 situations when close friends have walked up to me for personal advice in matters of grave concern to them. The details of those conversations are beyond the scope of this blog, but let's just say that their situations dealt with complex moral, ethical and behavioral dilemmas which needed to be dealt with extreme care.

Thought: I wonder what is one's line of thought on hearing something like - "I trust your judgment in this". The crucial word is judgment. Do you step in to advice giving mode where you pretend to be the know-all demagogue who can effect impressions and hence sway the final decision/act? Or do you lay out what you would do if ever caught in such a situation?

The Trap: Every human being has a bias - no matter how hard we try, we still process information through our world view/mind filter. Hence, if I have to describe to a friend asking for advice as to how exactly I might act in a certain situation, it might still be unique to how I react to events (and not apply to him at all). Or should I process a certain situation in my world view and try presenting it in a manner rather appealing to the other person's world view (and hence makes it easier for him to understand). There is a small but realistic probability that such a (salient but natural) bias can make things worse for him.

My Traditional Approach: I have come to learn that every person is unique. No, hang on here - I really mean it when I say that. I also believe that the best way for a person to tackle a dilemma is to confront it, step carefully through each possibility and in the end, sticking to one alternative. My traditional way of answering 'I-trust-your-judgment' calls has been to lay out all the alternatives, ask the right questions and elicit a response from the person facing the situation. This can work under the assumption that by asking the right questions, one will get answers which are shaped by the world view of the person answering those questions. I might play the devils advocate at times to best bring out the rightful meaning of my questions, and hopefully, stimulate an intellectual thought (based on conflict) within the other person. Hence, since the situation might not have a binary answer, the moral/ethical dilemma of a person can be best answered (solved) by that person answering them for himself. He/she just needs to be asked the right questions in a simple and uncomplicated manner.

The Bucket of Shit: I got a lot of flak for sticking to my traditional approach. The feedback ranged anywhere from - "If I knew all the answers, why would I ask you for your advice?" or "Tell me what you think and stop questioning me" to "I am brain dead. Just tell me what to do" and "I know the answer to this - I just need someone to give me a tight slap and bring me on track!".

Me vs. Myself: I think its a great honor and responsibility for anyone to be a private advisor to people in need (of exactly what - Advise? Plain talk? Holding hands? It might vary from case to case). However, with the responsibility, comes the grave risk of losing credibility if one is not careful handling delicate, ever-ready-to-flow emotions. At times, our minds might act us - the left (logical/reasoning) part of the brain comes up with brilliant excuses to firewall ideas against anything remotely against what the right part of the brain (intuition) wants us to do. e.g.: Ever had a conversation with someone torn between the the lap dance in a gentleman's club (his eyes and right part of the brain gang up) against the possibility of losing his girlfriend if she gets to know of it (the left part of the brain fighting it out stitching excuses based on HIS morals and values)? He knows the right thing (defined by the left part of the brain). However, he wants someone to stop him (for good? Its debatable..).

My Dilemma: I don't know how best to handle some of these situations without putting my relationships with people at risk. In certain conversations people have asked me to be judgmental, if that's what it takes for me to give them clear cut advice/show them a way/wake them up from their sleep (you get the point! :-)). However much I have wanted to give the best advice possible, I have mostly left people upset. Upset, not with me, but having to face a conflict. I lost a great friend of mine while sharing MY judgmental point of view on her changing boyfriends. I said this to another good friend today - "It will be a shame if you do not achieve what you really can. You want to get in to a top 10 B-school, but let me tell you, you're not ready for it. You're losing focus of the overall picture". Ok, he did pester me to be candid but I think the talk left him sad. My problem is - some people want me to spell out the Truth to them but that Truth is inevitably bitter. If the Truth is sweet, there is no conflict/dilemma and hence need for me to come in to the picture. But is it worth it to tell someone the Truth (after being convinced that is the best option for them) and risking rebuke? Is doing good (in one's mind) for a friend at the expense of losing him/her worth it?

A Possible Solution?: I think striking a balance between the traditioal approach of asking the right questions and spelling out the judgmental/bitter Truth is crucial. As I said, I still need to learn tact (amongst a tonne of other things). Sometimes there is just no better cure than a bitter pill of Truth thrown at you!

I'd love to hear the approaches people take when they sit on my side of the table...

Enough is Enough - Mumbai Attacks

2008-12-03T14:17:00.007-05:00

This is not the future of my country. Its not the time to forget, but the time to remind ourselves again and again that the nightmare is not over. This is not an incident that needs to be forgotten, but one that calls for the entire country to come together- Hindus and Muslims united - and ask the government for answers. WE DEMAND ANSWERS!! This is the result of a complete intelligence failure. Why are we paying taxes if even our basic need of security can not be met? How can 10 terrorists take Mumbai hostage? Why do brave men lose their lives in dozens, when such an act can be prevented. Stand up and speak out - DON'T LET IT PASS!! If we do, it will come back to haunt us again and our future generations. Fight Terrorism- DON'T SUCCUMB TO IT!!

Guest Article: Now or Never

2008-11-30T21:05:00.006-05:00

My response to the Mumbai attacks on my blog has not been the fastest - part of the reason lies in the fact that it happened right when the Thanksgiving holidays started. However, the biggest reason is time it took for the enormity of the situation to sink in - I am still short of adjectives to summarize my feelings about the incident.

On Wednesday evening, I had decided that I will wait until the whole episode gets over to write on my blog. 60 hours later - by the time the Taj Mahal was finally flushed out of now infamous Sea Rats - I was looking to talk someone who was either involved in the incident or had gone to see ground zero himself. I spoke to a close friend from Mumbai for more than 2.5 hours this afternoon during the drive back from Pittsburgh. He reminded me how both of us had walked in front of both the Taj and the Oberoi at 4 AM while I was in the city in October. He had just returned from the candle light vigil in Mumbai, was disgusted with the politicians and the overall system's (lack of) response and of course, heartbroken to see his city's much talked about resilience taking a hit. Once back home, he scribbled some lines on his first blog entry ever (quoted below).

I just think that today this space belongs to the people of Mumbai and the rest of India, all the innocent people killed to terrorism, all the brave men who took the bullet to keep the rest of us safe and to the HOPE of people reading this article - HOPE that this too shall NOT pass and concrete action is taken to bring the merchants of death to justice.

Jai Hind.

*************************************************************************************

24 hours after the terror attack on Mumbai, while the people of this country have not yet fathomed the loss they have suffered, its really shameful to see that politicians have started playing the blame game. There is always time for politics and this is certainly not the time. These are tough times for everyone and we as a nation need to provide a united front and take actions to make sure that the people of this country never fall victim to such acts of evil. The common man already has many challenges and difficulties he needs to face and worrying about the safety of his loved ones is one thing he could do without. The people of this country want and deserve to walk its motherland without fear.

In the past 12 months the country has been a victim to more than 6 terror attacks. The questions everyone wants to ask the leaders of this nations are - Why have we been a victim of so many attacks? Why has nothing been done after the first few attacks, and many more? I know its too late to raise these questions and no matter what the answer is the present is not going to change but the answers are required so that we can move ahead with resolution. This is the time to investigate and learn from what has passed, make the right conclusions and implement the right system so that incidents like these never happen in the future and even if they do we are better equipped to tackle them quickly. I fear if we do not act now India is heading towards a certain doom.

*************************************************************************************

ps: I thought this article paints a decent picture of both the history and traditional greviances of Muslims in both undivided and divided India.

Our Politicians Fiddle as Innocents Die

2008-11-30T08:41:00.001-05:00

Maharashtra Home Minister does a Sharukh Khan(who in DDLJ famously told Kajol "Arre Senorita, bade bade shehron mein choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai")

Farewell Kumble the Jumbo

2008-11-04T15:40:00.003-05:00

Indian Diaries: Kullu Dussehra

2008-11-02T15:56:00.009-05:00

Location: Kullu Valley, Himachal Pradesh, India

Date: Oct 9, 2008

Occasion: The Hindu festival of Dussehra

The famed week-long Kullu Dussehra is one of main festivals of Himachal Pradesh, which has maintained its unique identity over the years and is celebrated in an entirely different way. This festival is different in the sense that this commences when Dussehra festivities come to a close in the rest of the country. Another unique feature of the Kullu Dussehra is that it does not conclude with the burning of the effigies of demon-king, Ravana, his brother Kumbhkarana and son, Meghnath.

The Kullu valley is known as the ''Valley of Gods'' as on the occasion of the Dussehra here about 20 Gods and Goddesses of the valley converge at the venue of the celebrations here. The divine ambience gives a feeling of heaven on the earth. Dussehra at Kullu commences on the tenth day of the rising moon, on ''Vijay Dashmi'' itself and continues for seven days. The history of Kullu Dussehra dates back to the 17th century when the local king, Jagat Singh installed an idol of Raghunathji on his throne as a mark of penance. After this, Raghunathji came to be known as the ruling deity of the valley.

It is said besides the 20 Gods and Goddesses of the Kullu valley, a total of about 200 deities converge on Kullu for this unusual festival to pay homage to lord Raghunath. On the first day, the idol of Lord Raghunath saddled on a decorated chariot is pulled by ropes from its fixed place, that is a temple and taken to Dhalpur Grounds to mark the commencement of the Dussehra cerebrations. In attendance during the rope pulling ceremony are some of the other local deities 'seated' on colorful palanquins.

The locals here consider the pulling ceremony as very sacred. This ceremony gradually takes the shape of a procession as more and more worshippers join in to get their hands on the ropes to pull the diety. During the week-long celebrations, gods and goddesses are invoked and paraded around this town every morning and evening. The congregation of different deities in a unique feature of the Kullu Dussehra.

On the concluding day, the chariot of lord Raghunath is taken to the banks of the Beas river and in the deity’s presence a pile of wood and grass is set on fire, to symbolize the burning of Ravanas Lanka. Thereafter lord Raghunath is taken back to his temple and Dussehra festivities come to an end.

(Text source here)

War on Terror - Its Your War Too

2008-09-29T16:05:00.007-05:00

India got bombed today - AGAIN. Multiple cities have been bombed with impunity in the past few weeks and the so called success against the Indian Mujaheddin in Delhi has not caused innocent lives to be saved. During my chat conversation with friends regarding bombings, the common refrain often is - 'What can you and I do sitting from here?' or 'Oh, thats sad. How is everything else?'.

How is everything else? Are you serious? People are getting bombed in my city and you're asking me how my weekend went? The more I think about it, the more disgusted I feel about how the cliched statement - 'In America, out of sight is out of mind'. But really, what can you and I do? My take on it is - we can prepare. Most of us cannot hunt terrorists but we can read and talk about it. We cannot be with the victims from so far but we can feel disgusted about it. We cannot convince everybody but we can try and build national consensus against terror.

Which brings us to the question - how long can we, the common man in India, continue to avoid the reality that the War on Terror is not for America to fight for us, that it is not for the our brave men and women in the armed forces to clean up, the fact that it is not too far away from home and for someone else to worry about. Quiet contrary, the civil society as we know it is under attack. The fact that innocent lives are being lost (including folks from the same religion as some of these bombers claim they are protecting) is of little concern to the killers.

However, the greater challenge is to realize that we, the civil society, is being asked a question - and a tough one too. We cannot answer it without stooping down to the level of these barbarians - and destroying our own value system in the bargain. If we do get down to their level to answer this challenge, its a propaganda victory for them. If we don't, we are doomed to die. The interesting part is that they are the ones who have set the rules of this game (suicide bombings and innocent killings) and we have no choice but to relinquish our values to survive. Either way, the war cannot be won without a cost. And the fundamental fraud foisted on the public is to claim we can have war without horror, conduct an intelligence war without dishonesty and cunning and obtain victory without sacrifice. Our dilemma reminds me of some dialogues from the latest Batman flick - the Dark Knight - which in my opinion demonstrated the human behaviour brilliantly:

"Alfred Pennyworth: A long time ago, I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never found anyone who traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce Wayne: Then why steal them?
Alfred Pennyworth: Because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
[later in the film]
Bruce Wayne: The bandit in Burma, did you catch him?
Alfred Pennyworth: Yes.
Bruce Wayne: How?
Alfred Pennyworth: We burned the forest down."

"Batman: What did you do?
The Joker: I took Gotham's white knight, and brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little...push."

How true and how easy. Just a little push...question is how do you resist it?

$ 700,00,00,00,000 - What are they thinking?

2008-09-24T22:56:00.005-05:00

Its pretty bad. Its like pointing a gun to your neighbor's head and asking him for the money he's being saving for his child's education and then telling him -

"Hey, I'll gamble it on the roulet in Vegas and MAYBE there is a chance that you might get your money back".

The American taxpayer is just not ready to take that chance - I am one of them and I don't like this one bit!

Rock On!

2008-09-15T17:27:00.009-05:00

You go in expecting good entertainment.

It makes you laugh. It breaks your heart. It shows you how friends can truly drift apart. It shows you that it can be nobody's mistake but things can go wrong between people. It shows the importance of living one's dreams. It demonstrates the power of friendship. But most importantly, it discloses to you the importance of saying sorry - not as an admission of guilt but as an acknowledgment of the good times spent together. Now that's what I call a good movie - it encourages you to think and hopefully change for the good.

It took me more than two weeks to come to this but here it is - Sorry Bachu! I don't know what happened. I might not get my message across to people I'd like to say sorry to, but in my heart, I do not hold grudges anymore. I wonder though, do others have similar thoughts of wanting to say sorry to someone, someday, down the lane?

How NOT to get a Job

2008-09-08T16:20:00.004-05:00

Disclaimer: The blog article is meant as a guideline for others to show the importance of professional communication. It is by no means meant to put down FCUK. This article was published earlier in January 08 but was taken down due to FCUK's requests - now that he has a stable job and moved on in life, both him and I feel its time to take the curtains off for folks applying for jobs this recruiting season.

Situation: A friend of mine (lets called him FCUK) from Carnegie Mellon interviewed with a consulting firm based in California. They liked him, offered him a job and a decent pay (upwards of 95k total package). He wanted to negotiate the salary so the director of the firm (lets say HER) setup a time when they could talk. Both of them agreed to talk last Wednesday at 7 PM EST.

Wednesday, 7:00 PM EST : The phone rings. FCUK is in class, completely unmindful of the vibrating Moto Razor in the depths of his backpack. FCUK misses the call. He gets out of class at 9:30 PM EST and realizes his folly.

"Eh, its 6:30 PM in California right now. I'll give her a ring tomorrow morning."

Thursday, 4:00 PM EST : FCUK calls HER. HER is pissed and FCUK tries to pacify the boss. HER tells FCUK that she has to reconsider the offer and that she would get back to FCUK by the next day.

Thought : The situation is bad but not completely irretrievable. A convincing conversation or a decent email can do the trick. FCUK tries to contact me at office with a draft of the email he plans on sending HER. I am busy and do not get a chance to listen to what FCUK has to say. FCUK send the email to HER at 5:30 PM EST. I open my mailbox one last time before going to bed at midnight and am startled by what I read -

"Dear SHE,

First of all, let me take the opportunity to thank you for granting me a chance to work for your prestigious company. And I assure you that you will always be very satisfied about this decision, once you see me prove my abilities and capabilities with actual hands-on-work in professional environment.

I deeply apologize for missing your call yesterday evening. It was entirely my mistake and i wish to take the full responsibility of the same. I kindly urge to you to give me a chance to explain the situation, as i see it from my end.

This is my final semester at Carnegie Mellon University and am required to take 5 courses in order to graduate. As you already know, academics is my highest priority and i never compromise on the quality of education and opportunities of learning. This is the first week of school, and thus, currently I am attending more courses (9 courses overall) than what is expected out of me. I intend to attend first introductory classes of all courses pertaining to my interest, before I make a conscious and well-educated decision of finalizing courses.

Last night I took an impulsive decision of attending a core computer science course: Game Theory (from 6:30 pm to 9:30 pm). It was a completely impulsive decision that did not consider my scheduled appointment with you. And I deeply regret that. The Professor of this class implements "no cellphone in class" policy, which didn't let me see your call to make matters worse for me. It was only when I stepped out of the class that I realized my blunder when I saw your missed call. But it was 6:30 pm at East Coast then and I decided not to give you a call after office-hours.

It was in the next morning that I hurried up to call you to apologize in person. And I can never apologize enough for this blunder.

Madam, I kindly ask for your forgiveness. My ability to pursue excellence with no compromises, combined with my impulsive nature has always been my core strength . And I ask you for a chance to prove this to you by actually working professionally for your company and excel at my job .I have no explanation for my behavior. But I assure you that this mistake will never be repeated in future.

With sincere apologies,
Yours truly,
FCUK"

I called FCUK that very second and told him the job is lost. I still had a hope that SHE might buy into his crap but eh, very little chance of that happening. IMPULSIVE NATURE? Did you mean INSTINCTIVE nature? Dude!!! You just shot yourself in the balls. FCUK you!! I believe that one needs to be precise and to the point which this email does not comply with. Besides, I thought that the tone of the mail was over defensive which gave the impression of repetition in the 6 paragraphs.

Tuesday of this week : SHE replied. As any good consulting firm should, her response was on predicted lines.

"FCUK,

Thank you for your interest in MYHOLE (name changed for privacy). However, given our recent concerns we have decided not to extend an offer to you. As I articulated on the phone, detail orientation and promptness are critical in this line of work. The numerous mix-ups you made recently with call times has caused too much concern for us to overlook and we fear that you may be lacking in these areas. I was also not pleased with the way you handled the most recent mix-up and our last conversation in general. You conveyed too much defensiveness and aggression around the timing mix-up and in your attempt to negotiate the terms of an offer. I would not have been happy to hear you speak in these tones to our customers if you were to work for MYHOLE, and this further reinforced our decision.

I wish you the best in your continued job search and I hope you take these lessons to heart. The signals you send - whether intentionally or not - during the interview process are important. Employers have few data points to go on, so we have no choice but to pay attention to those that we are given by candidates. Of course MYHOLE will reimburse you for the travel costs that you incurred while flying to visit us. If you will scan and email me the receipts for your travels and provide your mailing address, I will have our Finance department mail you a reimbursement check.

Regards,
SHE"

FCUK wanted to send another email to HER but I advised against it. Sometimes, the world is a small place and you should have a boat before burning a bridge.

Moral of the story - Double check and email before sending them. Take a professional writing course. And most of all, get your FUCKING name correct :-)

The Conversation Killers

2008-08-22T22:35:00.022-05:00

Once I was late by 30 minutes picking her up, it was mostly downhill from there last afternoon. Driving through an unknown part of town, I had little clue on how to get back to Rt. 66W from her place. And for the next 40 minutes, I drove her through Northern Virginia into DC and back to VA - trying hard not to sound like a confused Robin Williams from the movie RV.

After gulping the chilled lemonade at TGIF (and yes, it was a Friday!), I realized that I was constantly repeating a cliched line of mine -

"So what else?"

SO WHAT ELSE?? Dude, what was I thinking? I had not even broken the ice properly and I kept on asking the same question repeatedly just to make up for my surprisingly bad road sense. And she kept on telling me -

"What 'what else'? Its not that I am telling you a story or something..."

Oh gosh! And this probably set the tone for what was to follow later. I learnt that bad conversations usually have two essential ingredients - baits and CKs. Baits are the starting sentences- small querries, stupid observations or just out of the blue words blurted out in the hope of kicking off a meaningful conversation. CKs or Conversation Killers, are either used to signify complete lack of interest or are inadvertent blurbs which throw the other person off.

Somehow, CKs were a favorite in our post lunch talk. I thought it would be pretty interesting to list my top 5 from yesterday just so that I am careful of not falling for them in the future:

1. "Yep!" - note the exclamation. This goes with a question or a statement and is doubly effective if you said it, drank a sip of water/coffee and looked away.

Me: "Hey, so California must have been a lot of fun during the internship, right?"
She: "Yep!"
Me: (Thinking..umm....ok? Do I get some details or what?...umm..Oh God, that was her answer?...damn, say something intelligent...fast!)

2. "Nope!" - it works on the same principal as the 'Yep' - however, one has to be careful using this since it has the power to create mighty confusion.

Me: "So, I think money is not all that important. I mean, people are my real strength. Don't you agree?"
She: "Nope!"
Me: (Thinking again...What? You crazy #$%@* - do you mean I have issues with what I believe in?)

3. The Smile - This one's the deadliest. You don't commit and leave the other person confused with 6 seconds of silence and a smile.

Me: "So do you usually do most of the listening or is it just me who is doing all the talking today?"
She: (Smiles)
Me: "Ok, I really do not understand sign language but I guess that's asking me to shut up"
She: (Smiles)
Me: (Tearing my hair apart - well, whatever is left of it :-))

4. "WTF": This one happened to me at 5:30 AM in the morning.

Me: How many boyfriends have you had?
She: WTF?

5. A Badly worded Question: Never, ever do it to a person you don't know very well.

Me: "So what do you think of most girls wanting to have a nice figure."
She: (Gives that weird look and probably thinking where this question was coming from) "I think its a personal choice - nothing wrong with that"

How it came off: A sexist guy like me is asking why women are always so obsessed with their looks?
What I really meant: Guys rank girls on the basis of their figure and looks which adds unnecessary pressure on them to diet. Do you have any thoughts on this?

6. The Loud Thinking - Always do the thinking in your mind and never with the tongue.

Me: (In a little disgusted tone) "How many boyfriends have you had until now, eh?"
She: "None"
Me: "It shows!!"

The last one was the Giant CK. I tried passing it off lightly but she wanted to be dropped home - right then. On the way back, she did ask what I meant by what I said last- I had no good answers for her. We decided to get together for a meal next weekend in another city. If after reading this she's up to it, I'd consider myself lucky. If not, oh well...atleast I came up with a new term - CK - and yes, it not related to fashion!

Swatantrata Diwas 2008

2008-08-19T11:55:00.017-05:00

The Occasion: India's 61st Independence Day, August 15 2008.
The Location: Residence of the Indian Ambassador to The U.S., Washington DC
The People: Two room mates.
The Time: 09:30 AM
The Clothes: Designer Kurtas from Fab India, New Delhi.
The Stomach: Empty - probably making grudging noises ready for churning something, anything!
The Heart and Mind: Full of Indian pride; effervescent with patriotic songs.
The Bladder: Full; given the 100 minute commute from Fairfax, VA.

Ambassador Ronen Sen's official residence shares the boundary with the Washington DC Zoo - hardly a surprise given how Indians were looked at during the cold war era (Read here how Nixon and Kissinger viewed the Iron lady of the subcontinent). The building is less than impressive given how much India's relations have improved with the only existing Super Power. However, Indians being Indians (whatever that means), there was hardly any security around. The guards greeted us with folded hands and just asked for our IDs (not bothering to check if my bag had C4 explosives). I thought we were early for the 10 AM ceremony, but to our surprise, the place was humming with close to a 100 people.

After getting in line to use the only bathroom for a crown of 250+ people, my room mate and I found the first available seats. The crowd was full of Indians from all over, however, the occasional V-desi could be spotted from time to time. 10 minutes before the national anthem was to begin, people started crowding and blocked our view of the chief guest. This was the view from seat - a lot of buttocks staring unashamedly at me while I tried singing Jana Gana Mana with full concentration.

The National Anthem done, the stomach took over from the mind and the heart. Somehow, I had come with the anticipation of getting good Indian food - they would have Samosas at least, I had told myself. To my disappointment, they served fluids which would only make the bladder work on the way back. No, thank you!

This kid was more than excited about getting a flag and riding on top of his dad's shoulders. I must say her mother did do a fantastic job of wearing a crisp green saree. I am guessing the American to be someone who "needs to show his face" for the event as part of his job profile.

I chatted briefly with another US citizen who happened to be an US Navy officer. He kept looking at his watch with an impatient, disgusted look from time to time and was visibly not happy being where he was that morning.

"I am the liaison between the Indian navy and the US navy - so I had to be here .... Why are these people standing in front? Why can't there be better crowd management? ..... You know, India has more bureaucracy than the US and I was surprised to find that out after working in Washington for years - there is really a lack of good brains at the right levels there".

As I thought about what he said, I asked him if he meant that the "lack of good brains at the right level" referred to the Indian Navy buying most of the weapons from Russia and not from the US. He looked at me, raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"I like India and I am going there in November. Do you understand the song they are singing right now?"

I did not press the issue.

Aha, I had never seen anything like this before. This poor chap was holding the flag for a good 45 minutes (and maybe more) since it did not occur to anyone that the flag could be unfurled at the top rather than being hoisted from the ground (the way its done in most parts of India and certainly how its done on the Red Fort). One reason I conjured up on the fly: Its probably the way we generate employment.

As the singers dressed in vivid colored clothing sang various nationalistic songs, I hung around until Saare Jahan se Achcha came around. On my way back, I wondered if I really meant what I was singing but I do certainly hope that the optimism of poet Iqbal comes true some day...soon!

Amen to that. And Jai Hind.

Update: Cricket

2008-06-30T09:45:00.003-05:00

I've crawled up to being the highest scorer last evening (after being sent at 91/6) but am not yet there to win a match single handedly...

(Click on the picture for a zoomed in view or view the results here )

Of Achieving Your Childhood Dream

2008-06-09T12:00:00.021-05:00

Time: Somewhere between 1995-1997.
Location: Colony* road outside Trikona park in Naveen Shahdara, Delhi.
(*: Yes, in India we call it the colony and not the neighborhood!!)

Growing up in India in the 90s, not many kids of my age could have escaped the exploits of one 5 ft 5" batsman called Sachin Tendulkar. Fewer still could resist dreaming playing like him - hitting huge sixes off the best opposition bowlers, winning games for the country and at the very least play in a professional cricket team. I was just one of the millions who was captivated by our national religion - Cricket. I have always dreamt of playing professional cricket and hitting the winning runs after rescuing my team from the ditches.

I believe cricket in India has two types of devotees - one sect practices and plays the game religiously (players) while for the other missing a game of their favorite team is akin to sacrilege (fans). Fans do become players at time but all players are, by definition, fans of the game. I can easily claim to be fan all my life but never a consistent player who made it to any team of consequence whatsoever.

Truth be told - of the three components of the game I suck at bowling. While in my teens, I used to go around the colony with my bat collecting other folks of my age and urging them to play. Being the only Bengali kid in the neighborhood, the term overshadowed my real name. Bengali, as I was commonly known, was the kid who would play cricket at midnight if called. However, galli cricket can hardly be an isolationist game in India - the big college guys (and some working men too) forced themselves upon us whenever we (the teens) played. It was annoying since it meant that I could never be the captain and never choose to bowl. Years of playing under senior bhaiya captains meant I never got a chance to bowl consistently. I was playing only because I probably owned the best bat in the colony.

My only chance of salvaging any token pride was to play well with the bat. And here too I had issues - the big college folks bowled real fast for someone a decade younger to them. Consistent failures with the bat did not help and my frustrations were on the verge of exploding until that one evening. The sun shining in my eyes from behind the bowler on the hot summer afternoon, I was the last batsman left from my team facing the best bowler in the colony. The target - 15 runs. Balls left - 3. Batsman on strike - Mr. Good for Nothing. The bowler, mocking me all this while, asked the fielders to close in on me. I clearly remember at that moment something snapped inside me. I saw the bowl coming towards me, stepped out, closed my eyes and gave the wildest heave ever. As I tried to balance myself after the audacious shot, I could see the ball sailing long over long on for SIX!! It felt great but I hardly had the time to rejoice. The bowler, fuming and charging, wanted revenge. The ball was full and my swing of the arms complete and ho ho - another SIX. I won the game with a confident four off the last delivery and that was the day I told myself - I can bat. I can be my own Tendulkar.

Fast forward to the current day.

Time: May 2008
Location: McLean, VA - United States.

It was through a chance conversation with a neighbor that I came to know of a corporate cricket team which competes in the Washington DC League. He invited me for practice since I always relished playing with the real leather ball.

On my first day of practice, I was tense and confirmed that nothing had changed with my bowling over the last decade - I still suck big time. However, it felt good to face deliveries with bowlers steaming at the net practice. When I mentioned to the folks there that it was the first time I was playing with full cricketing gear of pads, helmet, gloves, etc. they simply did not believe me and laughed it off. Somehow the first practice and people not taking me seriously took me back a decade. The next week I was more relaxed and wanting nothing more but to hit the ball from the sweet part of the bat for a SIX. And nothing had changed there too - I could still hit a six. Over the next couple of weeks I punished the short bad ball but was having trouble respecting the good length delivery. Overall, I started having a great time during practice and eagerly awaited the sessions all week round. In all honesty, I did not expect to play but what the heck - I could play real cricket at least on one evening every week!

And then it happened last week. After seeing my batting for a few weeks (and due to some regular players ditching out that week), the captain walked up and asked me to join the team for a game over the weekend. Of course I could not refuse but more importantly it somehow gave me immense satisfaction and excitement. I was the second highest scorer for the team during the game but still we lost our fourth straight game this season. While this is not the Indian team I am playing for, it still has all masala I have always dreamt of.

Driving back from Baltimore that Saturday evening, I realized that although I had lost the game by throwing away my wicket at a critical time, I had won the ability to dream again- a dream to win a game for MY team. I realize that I can tick off a big item from my "List of To-do things before I die" in the coming weeks.

ps: This article is dedicated to Prof. Randy Pausch who through his teachings at Carnegie Mellon and his last lecture "Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" has and will continue to inspire many a lives. Randy, the day I win my match, I promise I will remember how much this lecture has influenced me.

Yes, she can be a cheerleader for the playoffs!!!

2008-05-29T23:05:00.005-05:00

Here's one from the archives!!