The Journey of a lifetime

Update (overdue!)

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 04:32:00 +0000

Wow, I don’t even know where to begin. In my last post almost 5 months ago, I promised to post more often. Clearly, I failed miserably. But I will try to redeem myself by posting plenty of videos this time. I’ve spent a lot of hours fiddling with photos, videos and music. You know how you end up with all that footage that you never watch again and photos that end up collecting dust? Well, I think condensing them into little productions turns all that into something worth re-watching over the years.

So lets’ see…the Fall season was a pretty good one, full of events like Halloween and Thanksgiving. I’ll let the video do the talking.

The kids also turned 6 in November. We didn’t do a party this time as we knew that a couple of weeks after that we would be going to visit my side of the family in Malta and they were all very eager to meet them. So we decided to have a gathering there instead. Plus we were quite busy to get our act together and invite some friends over (Christmas time is not the “most wonderful time of the year” for Lori. One word: Retail!). So Lori bought them some gifts and after opening their presents, we went out to lunch. Following that, we went to watch Toy Story 3 in 3D, which was a gift for the whole family: very moving and entertaining.

Just two weeks shy of our departure to Malta, Isaac hurt his foot getting off the bus. So a trip to the minor emergency center and a (badly formed) splint later, we had to set up an appointment with an Orthopedic surgeon once again. He put him in a brace for a week and luckily, that’s all that was needed. Isaac was as good as new a day before our planned departure, which was on the 17th of December at 8:40pm. Lori couldn’t leave with us due to work, so I traveled with the kids to Malta by myself and she joined us 5 days later (but not her luggage, which showed up 4 days later!). I had already done it once again from Ukraine to the US, so what’s the bid deal, right? Well, see if you can figure out what happened from the video.

Ah yeah, it was such fun hauling two difficult kids and all that darn luggage. But I got it done once again and this time, without the aid of harnesses

Unfortunately I got sick twice while on vacation and so did Lori. And pretty much everyone else in the family (yup, they blamed me for it). Luckily the kids did not get sick, probably thanks to their flu shot. You can bet that I’m getting it next season!

We had a great time visiting everyone when we could and so did the twins. We did not get to see everyone as it was very difficult to accommodate everyone since we spent almost 60% of our time coughing and fighting fever. For example New Year’s eve was a blast. Unfortunately that same night on January 1st, I started round #2 of my fight against the flu.

We finally got better a few days before our departure and the weather, albeit a bit chilly, was calling us to get out, so we did!

So we made it back to the US in one piece and slid right into the usual routine. The first week of school was rough. Actually, Isaac’s first day back was awesome. He missed his teachers and aides, and was in great spirits. But it didn’t last long and the rest of the week was shaky. Isabella had on and off days but stabilized a bit after that. However her performance at school isn’t going so well and we’re now trying some medications to help with her attention deficit. We’re not seeing results yet but we still have plenty of legroom to increase the meds.

We had a parent-teacher conference and learned a lot more about how they spend their day. The highlight for me (and I’m sure Lori’s too) was to hear the teachers talking about how the kids in the main classroom adore Isaac and are always trying to help him when he’s having a tough time integrating in the classroom. It was actually quite moving to hear, and the teacher said the kids were asking about his whereabouts daily for the extra few days that he lost due to travel. His Special-ed teacher reported how he’s actually doing quite well academically and also how well he’s doing at learning and communicating through sign language.

Isabella’s teacher also said that the kids try to help her when she has a hard time following or understanding. She’s not being effective at focusing and conducting independent work, and the school finally realizes that she needs extra support. A few days later we had an official meeting and we’re glad that Isabella will now also have an IEP and further support in the classroom. It might not happen until next year, but at least assuming she moves on to first grade, she won’t continue to fall so much behind her peers. Here’s their first school performance. We were delighted to finally see Isaac participating with the rest of his friends, something that he was never allowed to do while in Ukraine. Thanks Miss L., Miss M. and all the team!

As you have seen in one of the videos, Isaac lost his first tooth in Malta. Isabella’s teeth keep coming off. Well, actually she pulls them out herself, sometimes quite early too. Can’t stop that girl. As she likes to say, “That’s crazy!”

As the weather got better, we finally met our friends the H’s for a great day out at the zoo. We can’t wait to go back when time permits to meet again and also some other friends which we haven’t seen in a while.

On the Speech Therapy side, we have appealed with our health insurance company and we’re now waiting for a decision. I’m not holding my breath but at least we gave it our best shot. We had to stick with the same health insurance company as last year since there was no better option. Hopefully they’ll listen to our plea for the benefit of our kids.

Well that’s a wrap: 5 months in one post. You can now rest your eyes…until next time!

School and more

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 17:50:00 +0000

Wow, over 2 months since my last post. I’m beginning to become a real slacker! Let’s just say that life is getting more and more hectic. All the changes to life’s routine don’t help, but I think now that I’m much more settled into my new workplace and have all my systems and methods in-place (like Live Writer at work and my laptop and blogger-droid on my new phone), I should get back to more frequent, short-post blogging.

So Isaac’s thumb is all healed finally. We still didn’t do much swimming though after that. For a while every weekend it would rain and I really needed to take care of a recurring algae problem, which came down to dumping almost half the water out, refilling, cleaning the filters and super-shocking.

Housework and paperwork (mostly medical) has been keeping us busy. The to-do list is still long but hopefully we’ll manage to wrap most of the things up. It’s not easy when you are so exhausted by week’s end and need to relax a little. During the week we don’t get to cross anything off that list. Lori leaves work and picks up the kids from two separate daycares, and goes home to prepare dinner/warm up leftovers. Then it’s time to give the kids a bath, maybe do a little schoolwork, or play and make a lot of noise, catch a few minutes of something on TV and then take them to bed. I always come back downstairs for some quiet ME time, which consists of reading, testing software, other blogging, emailing, organizing, and maybe some TV watching. Which means I go to bed late and then get progressively tired each day, making it impossible to break the cycle.

Kindergarten is going…well, just going in some cases! We’re having some good struggles. Isabella has her good and bad days where she won’t listen, can’t stand still in her seat and has a hard time following rules. Thank goodness the teachers have a lot of patience. We’re working on writing and reading skills, mostly practicing to write her name. She can already recognize most of the alphabet when asking her to pronounce a letter you point at, or when using flashcards. But she struggles a lot when asking her to do something on her own. For example when writing her name, if you point her in the right direction, she does well but if you leave her on her own, she ends up not copying the letters she’s supposed to copy. It is very frustrating at times, but we (especially me!) just have to re-define expectations.

Isaac has a lot of bad days, peppered with a few occasional ok ones and a handful of great days. He spends most of his time with special-ed teachers and maybe an hour or so in the regular kindergarten classroom (he generally does really bad here). Lori has been working slowly with him on reading. I don’t have the necessary patience as I expect to see results fairly quickly and that’s just not how things work with him. The teachers are saints; I don’t envy their job! Despite the hard times, they just love Isaac so much and are always happy to see him and his sister in the morning. Here’s a shot of the first day of school just before drop-off.

Speech is going well with an occasional off day, but on the whole we’re making progress. The downside is that insurance will only cover up to age 6 and that’s only a few weeks away. We can still keep going but a quick look at the math reveals how unsustainable that would be: 1 session @ $200 x 2kids x 45 weeks = $18K! So we’re in the process of researching other health insurance options and maybe trying to appeal that exception due to medical necessity, especially for Isaac. Isabella is improving enough that it might not be necessary for her to attend much longer. Her sounds are becoming clearer and her vocabulary is improving, although she still struggles with some more abstract words such as the meaning of ‘under”, ‘over’, ‘medium’, etc. Considering the short language exposure, she’s doing great!

We have been taking the kids out separately so we can focus on each one better. For example Lori might go for a shopping trip with Isaac and I might go out to do some work outside or wash the car and take Isabella with me. Here she is helping me cut down branches and do some yard-work.

We have not been doing a great job at keeping up with friends. Hopefully we’ll get back to hanging out more often. Speaking of hanging out…since it was my birthday in September, we went “out to eat” that evening (Isabella loves saying that phrase). We had a good time, only until we got home and Lori got sick! It was probably all a coincidence and since we pretty much all ate from each other’s plates and didn’t get sick, we couldn’t blame the restaurant. Here’s Isaac munching on brownie and ice-cream. Did I tell you he’s on a high-calorie diet?? And then there’s Izzy (Lori’s nickname for her) giving one of her beaming smiles.

That’s it for now! Let’s see what’s in store for us today at school…

SummER

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 22:04:00 +0000

Beware: Long post. What is it this year with visiting the ER? We never needed to before, but this year we went 3 times already. My Dad’s kidney stone in October/November started the trend in 2009. Isaac kept things going in 2010 after his seizure wouldn’t stop, then Isabella during our vacation (more on that later) and on Friday 30th July, I had to pay a visit myself. Lori’s managed to avoid it so far, but the year is still young, so watch out!

I was going to write about our trip to visit Lori’s side of the family, but since I started a new job on July 20th , I didn’t have the right muse. So I worked 4 days and then the following Sunday, I got sick. Really sick. It felt like the flu, strep throat, fever, and pain in my leg. Lori had some fever and sore throat too. My leg pain turned out to be the main problem: cellulitis. After visiting an urgent care facility and taking antibiotics, things got worse, so they prescribed an additional one. Well, that wasn’t enough either and I also ended up battling a 3-day non-stop headache and neck pain , so after a follow-up visit on a Friday afternoon, the doctor looked at me and said, “you need to go to the ER!”, so there I went on Friday at 3:30pm: ER visit #3 for the year. I ended up getting a tetanus shot, loaded with antibiotics via IV, blood tests and a doppler test to check for blood clots. I finally made it out at 10pm, my leg still looking like I took a blow torch to it. My head felt like it was floating a few feet above my shoulders but I managed to make it home ok. And all this perhaps due to an insect bite? Possibly. And if that wasn’t enough, the doctor prescribed new, very strong antibiotic pills for 10 days, twice a day, for $15.80 per pill with insurance! They make me dizzy, but I had to go back to work as taking an unpaid week of sick time after just 4 days of work at a new job was more than enough. This year is not gonna go down as a year of savings; not even switching to Geico will help! (we actually switched to Allstate). Here’s a very flattering photo of Isabella and myself sleeping on Saturday afternoon. Notice I’m wearing the same bloody shirt from Friday’s adventure.

So back in the second week of July, we took a drive to Roaring River State Park in Missouri (here are part 1 & part 2 of someone’s videos of the area). It was about a 10 hour drive, just under 600 miles. The weather was hot and it rained pretty much every day. On our way, Isabella got sick…sore throat and fever (sounds familiar?). We had to stop and get some over the counter meds and some head cooling strips/pads. Overall the drive was good. About 3 hours from our destination on Saturday afternoon, we got a call that our nephew Travis was at home and since he never met the kids, we took a detour to the Tulsa area and completed our trip the next day.

So we finally made it to Roaring River on Sunday at around 1pm. I had only one thing on my mind: the World Cup final game! How on earth was I going to watch out there? Did anyone know what the heck it even meant? So we went to the Lodge just up the road and luckily, they had a lounge with a TV room. We ordered some food and while Lori and the kids ate on a table, I ate a salad to-go while watching the game on an old, orangey, rear-projection screen. At least I didn’t miss it, although it wasn’t a very exciting game. That brought the tournament to a close, which due to unemployment, I managed to enjoy to the fullest extent possible.

We then went to the campgrounds and met some family. They had a pick-up truck and I put Isaac in the truck bed. He was quite happy. Isabella wanted up too, so I put her in there with him while I mostly watched over Isaac’s every move (he’s the least stable after all!). Suddenly, I see Isabella fall from the tailgate as her leg got caught, and landed right on her chin with a bang. No, not on grass but on asphalt. Needless to say, she had a nice gushing wound and was crying while we tried to stop the bleeding. What a fantastic start to our vacation! What did that mean? ER visit #2 for the year. We actually tried to find an Urgent Care facility instead but there were none in the area, so we took a trip to St. John’s in Cassville. They cleaned her up, put some glue around the chin to hold some strips to close the wound and we were done; Cost: around $200 after insurance. This meant she couldn’t swim. This contraption was supposed to last a week but it only lasted 3 days. I wonder if I can get a refund? ;)

Luckily, that was the first and last bad thing that happened. Isabella’s fever and sore throat went away and she didn’t make a big deal about not swimming. We found other things to do, such as visiting Silver Dollar City. They absolutely loved the rides, getting wet, etc. Finally Isaac was able to ride with us and they had a blast. Movement is too darn exciting to them and as other kids cried in terror, they just couldn’t get enough and wanted to keep riding over and over until our stomachs just couldn’t take any more rides! It was a very hot day and we enjoyed plenty of icy lemonades. We ended the day with a nice ice cream and a tantrum by Isabella (she was just too tired to control herself at the end). The picture on the left is the first ride we took as a family and surely the first real ride at a park for both of them. You can see Isabella’s $200 chin contraption and her look of terror. But don’t worry, she was as excited as can be at the end and wanted to ride again. Isaac seems like he can’t believe what’s happening.

I fished and maxed out every morning on rainbow trout. We took the kids around with their bikes in all their protective gear glory. Isaac is learning to pedal pretty good but just doesn’t have the strength to propel himself yet. Isabella of course was running far away from us, falling each time she took a turn too fast while looking back, but somehow managed to save herself from getting hurt again. She has pretty good balance and although her falls are not very elegant, at least she can escape a dramatic fall, somehow!

One afternoon I took Isabella to fish. She had a good amount of patience. I cast for her and she reeled in. It was great as she finally hooked a trout after rigging it with a fly I found in a wad of fishing line lying on the ground. She was so happy and now wants to cook her own fish.

The family reunion was atrociously hot. Everyone was sweating like crazy. Even Isaac was wet and he usually doesn’t sweat at all. The kids had fun, ate a good amount, played around…and we had to chase Isaac a couple of times as he ran out of the covered area and headed towards the pool. I couldn’t blame him! Unless it’s in an air-conditioned venue or moved to October, I’m not going again!

There was a mix-up with reservations and we had to find a new place for the last 2 days. That cost more than expected as everything was booked since it was a weekend. We managed to find a really nice cabin owned by the State Park and the Lodge, and was well worth it to end our vacation there. On the morning of our departure, Lori wanted to fish so we took a risk and went at 6am with the kids. I let Lori fish while I took care of the kids. Isabella, watched, talked to family members and played with the fish on stringers, while I sat Isaac on a stand and I too managed to max out by around 7:30am (fishing starts at 6:30). We left the campgrounds around 10am and got home by 8pm. It was a good break just before the start of a new job.

But that wasn’t the end of the medical mishaps. On Saturday 24th July, Isabella broke Isaac’s thumb. Don’t worry, there was no ER run this time. I took him to an Urgent Care facility by our house, the same one we visited a few days later when we got sick and on the Friday follow-up. Monday Lori took him to an Orthopedic surgeon and put a cast, which hopefully will be taken out this coming Monday. That would be good as we’ve held off swimming for over a month now. Although with this heat, the water is going to hit 94F really easy! Next: Kindergarten.

One year down

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 04:40:00 +0000

It’s hard to believe, but exactly one year ago, the kids became US citizens and slept in their own bedroom for the first time. I can safely say it was the longest day of my life, traveling with two kids that were not easy to control! But a lot has changed since then, and even though we still have to keep an invisible leash on them (especially Isaac of course), they’re much easier to handle nowadays. And look at how excited we all are!

So in the evening we went out for dinner to celebrate. The weather has been nasty around here and it won’t stop raining. Being cooler than usual, we sat outside. It was a nice reminder of all the times we ate out while in Nikopol. We even had Greek Salad! So I made sure to take an unflattering picture of everyone with their mouth open first…

I’m not exactly sure what I did to deserve this dirty look, but it was worth posting. Then I took another photo of the seemingly giant pizza. But don’t worry, it’s just an optical illusion and yes, we have left-overs to spare.

The kids then ran around a bit around the outside shops at the nearby mall, as the air continued to sprinkle lightly. Isaac’s gait is still not where it needs to be especially when running, but he’s much more coordinated than he used to be.

Letting go of their hands and trusting they’ll come back when called was something we struggled with for some time. Yes, especially Isaac. I find myself repeating that quite often, don’t I?? Baby steps I guess.

Anyway, at least the other good news is that I’m employed once again. I was quite lucky as I know of some colleagues that lost their job last year and still have not landed on a good position. A few others managed to find something after about 6 months or so of intense looking and interviewing.

So with all the ups and downs, I think both Lori and I agree that we cannot imagine life without the little critters. Yes, there are plenty of times where we feel otherwise, but those pass away quickly. Lori still puts Isaac to bed and I do my duties with Isabella. Head rocking is now pretty much gone and she always wants me to lay down “a bittle bit” beside her as she dozes off. It’s one of the nicest moments of the day for me and in most cases, it takes under 10 minutes for her to calm down and doze off. They’re both making up all those years of missed, loving contact and we’re happy to be there to let them indulge. Yes, especially Isaac!

Gotcha Day – missed

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 04:44:00 +0000

Been busy. Mixed up my dates and thought today was Gotcha Day. It was the 26th. Oh well, we celebrated today by jumping in the pool and giving the kids a “shower” outside (shampoo the hair and rub all over) and hosing them down. They loved it! In summer when swimming in the ocean, my 2nd cousin Elton and I used to do that a lot, or simply rinse down with fresh water. We were spending 9 to 10 hours a day in salt water, for about 2 summer months, so we were quite cleansed ;)

Over the last few weeks, between job hunting, interviews, recruiting office testing, some side work, catching up on medical bills, watching World Cup matches, etc., we also visited some friends on a weekend. The kids had a blast playing in their backyard with sand, swings and running around (thanks U’s!). That weekend Isabella lost her second tooth and we still need to record that in a photo. The kids have been enjoying the pool and now Isaac is swimming with no trainers either. He doesn’t do it quite as gracefully and Lori is always uneasy as he bobbs up and down like a bottle…down, kicks around, surfaces, giggles, takes a breath and repeats. But he’s been doing very good and has even succeeded at floating on his back and swimming backwards. He’s managing to loosen up and relax quite a bit. Here’s Isaac with his Shark cap at start of season (head band and silicone plugs underneath the cap).

We continue to have hospital appointments (neuropsychological evaluation for Isabella, etc.), bills piling up, fights with insurance…the usual. But that’s boring stuff. Yesterday we had some fun for Lori’s birthday. Well, it wasn’t a complete birthday really. You see, I have completely lost track of time recently, so I missed even getting her a card. She had a good birthday party with her friends from work, so I cannot top that. We went to the Woodlands mall instead and met our friend June, Dennis and their Ukies. We had a good time and the kids made some new friends. Isabella wouldn’t leave poor T alone and wore her out. (PS: You can see a great example of how NOT to take a photo. I have no idea how I missed that red straw!). Anyway, the kids played around with the quarter kiddy rides (most of the time with no actual money being put in) and in general enjoyed the whole experience, from the car ride, the walk around the mall, seeing puppies, kittens and little rabbits at the store, riding the carousel and obviously K’s and T’s company. We also met A from my old job and she was happy to see how Isaac had grown and improved since she last met him. He has turned into such a tease, always trying to strike a connection with anyone around him, saying “Hi” and waving, etc. He’s going to be a real flirt someday. Wait, he already is!

We really enjoyed our conversations with June. After grabbing a bite, some drinks and snapping some photos, we parted ways and walked around. Our plan was to go eat somewhere nice in the evening, but Lori started feeling queasy and was full, so we postponed. Little did we know that she would get sick by the time we got home. It wasn’t pretty and needless to day, she’s still not great right now as she couldn’t keep anything down in her stomach. Not sure if it was food poisoning or some nasty bugger. Isaac woke up with fever at 1am and I didn’t get much sleep while playing Florence Nightingale. Hopefully in a couple of days we can go out to dinner as planned.

Today I finally got a good offer for work so now at least I have more than one option. I’m expecting one or two more calls but I’ll have to decide by Friday. I’m also helping a friend with his resume`and cover letter. Here’s Isabella with his dog, which we watched over the last couple of weeks. Suzie was our foster dog a few years back, we found her new family, and always enjoy watching her from time to time. Isabella got along really well with her. Until next time Suzie!

Tooth and nail

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 01:42:00 +0000

It’s been an eventful couple of weeks of ups and downs. On the up side, we got a visit from the Tooth Fairy. On the down side, losing your job stings a lot more than a nail through your hand.

On June 2nd we cherished last year’s memories of the performance held on Children’s day. I could have sworn the celebration was on that day last year instead of June 1st, but that might have been a date confusion in my head because of when I blogged about the event. For the occasion, in the morning I dressed up Isabella in a Ukrainian shirt given to her as a Christmas present by Carol, which now fits quite well, and snapped a quick photo. Here they are sitting together before leaving for school. Something happened that evening and we didn’t get to watch the entire video together. The kids still love it and enjoy pointing out their friends and caregivers. Isabella seems to have pretty much lost her understanding of Russian as she cannot explain what they’re talking about!

As I was saying, on June 3rd I lost my job. I have always given my utmost and then some, but it doesn’t matter much. When you’re on one side of the scale with shareholder profits and bonuses on the other side, you lose when times are tough. That’s fine though, I’ll figure something out soon. This week’s been a busy one, filled with phone calls, support emails thanks to my other blog and LinkedIn, and lots of good leads. Monday I have an interview, a few other prospects, and also a whole radical (for me) idea of working for myself.

My great friend Matt and his family were very supportive and took us out on Saturday. Their very talented daughter A and her boyfriend watched the kids for us. This was the first time we had a sitter/s. And yes, they were totally worn out at the end! We were discussing that this could turn out to be the perfect “birth-control” experience for them. Funnily enough, her boyfriend’s first comment once we got back home was: “I don’t know if I want kids!”. We had a great time at the Alley Theatre and the comedy Boeing Boeing was absolutely hilarious and a very welcome change of pace (and distraction).

As the kids ate pizza that evening, Isabella lost her tooth. We got a call informing us of this VERY important situation and were assured that the tooth was safely recovered and placed in a plastic bag, ready for the Tooth Fairy. Cute eh? I kept teasing her that she won’t be able to eat as teeth don’t grow back. Her mom spoiled it for me though and now doesn’t believe me!

We had some more hospital appointments too. Isabella is caught up on her shots. She received 3 more in her leg and didn’t shed a tear. They hurt as she screamed and tightened up, but since she had told the nurse before “I’m not going to cry”, she kept her word. I couldn’t believe it. She’s very tough and determined.

Isaac had a follow-up with Otolaryngology (I’m practicing for the Spelling Bee) and he got retested by Audiology. It still shows hearing loss in his right ear and the doctor was hoping that the surgery might have normalized both ears. So in 3 months we have another follow-up appointment where they’ll re-test yet again and then see what’s next, which possibly includes further tests (like a CT scan) and/or a hearing aid.

Anyway, now that the World Cup is here, I’m going to have plenty to watch. I can’t believe we’ll be coming to the 1 year anniversary soon. It’s been a year (9th June) since we had our court date. Time sure flies. We’ll see what else is in store.

Liar Liar

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 25 May 2010 03:31:00 +0000

As Isabella’s language skills continue to develop, we’re starting to tighten up and become serious about certain things that have no place in our household. One such no-no is lying.

Isabella is very strong willed (I guess that’s how you say it nicely and in a positive tone. One can also describe it as hard-headed and stubborn!). Her strong will is unfortunately accompanied by very bad judgment. Now she’s still very young and we cannot be sure this is going to get worse as she continues to grow, but this is the time to set the tone. Later it will be too late.

She’s quite sneaky and will try to get around any situation to achieve her goal. You tell her not to do something; she’ll wait and do it anyway when you’re not watching. Or worse still, she re-phrases in her own words what she’s not going to do, making you believe her even more as you think “wow, she’s really getting it!”. Then she blatantly does it anyway behind your back, thinking she’s gotten you sacked as you lower your guard. Poor little thing…she thinks she can outsmart us!

Last week she wore a watch to school and never came back home with it. So we told her she’s not allowed to take anything to school with her. She got the watch back at least and yesterday she sat on the couch by me, stuffing a toy purse in her backpack ready for Monday. Lori hid this purse from her for doing something wrong on another occasion and she was excited to get it back yesterday. In it she had some toy makeup like lip gloss and a toy cell phone. Anyway as I’m seeing her doing it, I said, “Isabella, remember that we said you’re not allowed to take toys to school”, and she immediately goes, “Ok, I’ll take it out”. She proceeds to take it out and saying “No toys to school”. She continued sitting by me watching Ratatouille with her backback and purse in her lap.

After some time, she gets up with both of them and runs in the game area. I immediately knew what was going to happen, so wanting to give her a chance to reconsider her actions, I asked her what she’s doing. She said she’s putting them back and I made sure to reinforce her words and said “Ok, make sure to put them both back over there.” She came running back and sat down. So I got up and said “are you sure you left the purse out?” and she says “Yes”. However as I got up and started walking towards them, she tried to outrun me. I got to the backpack and immediately knew what she did as the purse was nowhere to be seen and the backpack was a bit too fat ;) So there goes Lie #1.

That made me quite mad and I immediately made her go to her room. She cried and moaned and I hoped she’d get it. However in the morning as we went downstairs, I saw that her backpack was fat again (I hid the purse) and found a pair of her jeans and her black shoes together with other summer clothes. We had been telling her not to take those clothes to school since it’s hot now, yet being “strong-willed” she thinks she can do whatever she wants. I knew Lori only packed the lighter clothes, so I asked her if she did and she denied it. Knowing this was Lie #2, I told her that she will not be taking a backpack and that was it.

I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how on earth I’m going to teach her a lesson. Finally I decided to make her experience the disappointment of being lied to multiple times. Call me cruel, but I sure had a smile on my face as I acted out the following as soon as I got home:

“Isabella, guess what we’re going to do after you finish eating? We’re all going to have some ice-cream and then we’ll go to swim.” She immediately took the bait and got extremely excited. Then I told her “And you’ll stay up late with me so we can play”. The excitement continued and she quickly swallowed her dinner, getting ready for ice-cream. So there goes Disappointment #1 as I restated what happened the day before when she lied to me and that now I was lying to her and she was not getting any ice-cream. She immediately sombered up and started crying. I fed Isaac some melted ice-ream and proceeded to Disappointment #2. “Isabella, remember I told you we’d go swim? Sorry, I lied to you. Doesn’t that feel terrible? We’re actually NOT going to swim”. She proceeded to get upset, cry some more, and after asking if she’s going to lie again, she said “No!”. We’ll wait and see how much truth there is to it!

So finally we waited a little more and then proceeded to Disappointment #3: “So Isabella, I lied to you again and we’re not staying up to play. You are going straight to bed right now and Isaac is staying here. See how bad it feels when someone lies to you?”. That seems to have cracked her shell a little bit and she cried and shed some serious tears, sobbing like a sputtering engine with no gas. After taking her to bed and summarizing the whole event, she wept for a few more minutes and fell asleep.

I know I know, what a mean dad! But you gotta do what you gotta do. If we don’t set the tone now, things will get out of hand later and it’ll be too late to set the course when she’s older. We’re only a handful of years away from when she’ll think that she knows everything better than we do!

Finally, here are some photos from last Friday while eating at Black-Eyed Pea and at Isaac’s school open house on Saturday. PS: The Tooth Fairy has not paid us a visit yet.

Tooth Fairy

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Fri, 14 May 2010 17:30:00 +0000

Things between the US and the rest of the world always differ. It’s “candy” in the US but “sweets” in Europe. It’s “pantyhose” in the US (what a flattering description) but “tights” in Europe. I could go on and on, but I digress. So even kid’s myths vary. In the US we have the Tooth Fairy, who brings you money for the baby teeth you lose and stow under your pillow. In Europe the tale is that you bury them in soil like seeds and they grow into trees. At least that’s what my mum said so it must be true!

Anyway, I did some reading, looked at several pictures (btw, I thought this one was hilarious, albeit quite gory), and why you ask? Well, Isabella’s two front lower teeth are jiggling! They started Monday and Lori had to tell her the US version of the story. She got very excited and has been trying to wiggle her teeth off (remember that picture I linked to above? That’s what I’m expecting to find on the pillow in the morning!!). The little girl is surely growing fast.

A year ago today, we saw our kid’s photos for the first time during the SDA appointment. We actually don’t have a copy of those photos, although they’re still imprinted in my mind. I remember Isabella looking all ruffled up as if she had just finished wrestling with someone. Isaac looked a bit more made-up and clean. We flipped back and forth through all files but kept returning to theirs. And then a few days later, we met. So much has changed since then.

Mother’s Day

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Mon, 10 May 2010 00:46:00 +0000

I cannot believe it’s been almost a year since we met our kids. When we look back at the first pictures, we can’t help but see how much they’ve grown. It’s kinda hard to imagine the house without them, or mornings without waking them up, feeding them breakfast and taking them to school. And then there’s the mischief. Ohhh the mischief!

Today we went to a Mother’s Day brunch and had a good time. Yesterday Isabella and I washed the car as it really needed it and wanted to have something clean to drive today. She was very excited to help out. As long as there’s water, you don’t have to struggle much to get her attention. I still can’t trust Isaac outside while working as he’ll wander around, but he’s improved so much that I don’t think it’ll take much longer before we won’t feel like having to be constantly tied to him in some way (ie: holding hands or having him sit in our lap). Over the last two weekends Isabella has also enjoyed spending time out in the backyard “helping” me as I cleaned out and cut the overgrown bushes. We had some debris from the old fence since Ike. Last year was so busy with getting things ready for our trip and some side work etc. that everything else had to wait. A couple more weekends of work and the outside will be back up to snuff.

Isaac will soon start a summer program. He’s been steadily improving in school and has been quite social with new kids, helping out and welcoming them etc. Seems like he’s over previous behavior. His seizures are still lingering and now we’re back to around a 5 week frequency. This week we started a supplemental medication as we cannot push his current one further. We also have an appointment on the 28th with an Epileptologist. Hopefully we can learn something new to help him out with.

Earth Day

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 23:44:00 +0000

I’ve gotten tons of emails about Earth Day today. The building management of the office I work in had some snacks for everyone (green drinks and lots of colored cookies). Ironically the cups were disposable ;) Not very earth-friendly eh?

Earth Day was apparently discussed at pre-school too. Lori just called about the lesson that Isabella’s class was having. The teacher was talking about what happens to things after we don’t need them anymore, such as clothes. They talked about what happens to their clothes once they don’t fit anymore and Isabella promptly raised her hand and said “I give them to Isaac”. Ahhh, kids….truth be told, Isaac is fascinated by clothes and he gets upset if Lori buys Isabella a dress and she doesn’t let him try it. I can tell you that we have plenty of photos of Isaac in drag but we’ll keep those safe for future ridicule in private.

Speaking of Isaac, he’s been having some great days lately and we’re very happy about that! Especially since he’s doing so without stimulant medication and seems to be able to control his moods and behavior just fine. All of a sudden he’s even less aggressive and impulsive, which is great. I can’t believe they got him to pose for pictures at his pre-school! Ear-tube surgery went flawlessly, no pain or anything. They put in long-term tubes that might last up to 2 years. I just wish the doctor had said something about not being able to wet his ears after surgery BEFORE we decided to do it. We were told “no pool, no baths for 2 years”. Are you friggin’ kidding me?? Needless to say that’s not going to happen and we’ll figure out ways to use ear plugs, caps, even duct tape if necessary. The kid LOVES water and we’re surely not keeping him from enjoying it.

9 months and counting

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 04:23:00 +0000

I cannot believe we’ve been home for 9 months already! Time sure flies. It seems like I’m at Texas Children’s hospital at least twice a week lately: once in the Medical Center for an appointment, and once in our neighborhood for Occupational and Speech therapy. I wish they had a frequent-flyer type discount program, especially for the parking garage!

So it turned out that Isaac does not have a busted ear drum. It seems that his issue is negative pressure behind the ear drum, which is causing them to be sucked inwards, creating a large canal volume. Large? Yep, at least now that there’s no more foreign matter in there, they’re larger than they should be. So the ENT doctor suggested trying some nasal spray or put in tubes. I had visions of trying to get Isaac to inhale a spray from his nose…it took me 10ms to decline and opt for surgery. So Monday we’ll be putting in some tiny tubes to equalize the pressure and help those drums slowly ease back where they belong. The doctor said that having the drums so far in might be causing him to hear muffled noises instead of clear sounds. I sure hope that’s the case and that we’ll observe some speech improvements.

Sunday 28th March was a one-of-a-kind experience. An expensive one. Isaac had a seizure around 7:50am upon awakening and he wouldn’t come out of it. We waited and then finally decided to give him the usual gel shot, which in all previous cases worked within 30 seconds or so. Not this time. 5 minutes later his convulsions started increasing again. So we did the inevitable and called 911. Within under 4 minutes, the ambulance and fire truck were at our door and about 5 EMS guys flocked in with a ton of gear. I have no idea why a fire truck is sent in such cases. Anyway they gave him some more meds and transported us to the hospital. I rode with the ambulance and Lori got ready with Isabella and drove there. Isaac’s convulsions almost stopped but not completely. At the hospital they gave him more meds and after another 10 minutes or so he finally stopped and fell completely asleep. He did kick a bit, which was an indication that it was over. We got there around 8:30am and left at 1:00pm. That was one expensive stay in the ER judging from the bill we received today. We’ll see how much our beloved insurance carrier is going to pick up from this tab. I have not seen an ambulance bill but I’m sure it will come separately. If I get one from the fire department I’m gonna be mad as I didn’t get to ride at least! That’s a hint for you neighbor ;)

All this talk of hospitals is surely boring you out of your mind, but I’m not done yet. We had a visit with a clinical psychologist and she suggested we try a stimulant (like Ritalin). So after yet another appointment with the pediatrician, we started him on a very low dose: morning only. He seems to be doing better, although the bad side effect is that he won’t eat lunch or drink anything. So we’re monitoring his weight now to make sure his change in appetite was due to this medication and not some cold (which is common right now and he was quite congested this last week). So on the 22nd we’ll visit the pediatrician again to see how he’s reacting. In general he’s been less aggressive at school and seems to be settling in a lot better. The fact that we have not received any “hints” is a positive thing. A couple weeks ago they were concerned because he was trying to bite the teacher’s hand (this was before the meds) and told them that I would see if Mrs. C (PPCD teacher) would talk to them and give some advice. She was super nice and went to the pre-school for two hours or so one morning with her assistant to observe, take notes and make recommendations. They were delighted and I think they feel better about the situation now. We’re very grateful to have her so involved in his education. In a couple of weeks we’re hoping to go back to a normal routine of full days as in the meantime Lori is still picking him up at 3pm.

Yesterday we had a visit with the Neurologist and we’ve been referred to an Epileptologist. We talked for a while about all sorts of things I’ve been reading about, and she helped us to separate facts from fiction. She ordered some more tests so afterwards we took a trip down to the third floor to draw blood. Needless to say he wasn’t happy as the nurse didn’t get it right and as usual, tried to re-work the needle back and forth. I stopped her immediately and asked her to try again on the other arm. This time she was successful and we were out of there around 1pm, $10 poorer after paying for parking (this is getting old!) and back home for PPCD class by 1:30pm.

Isabella had her first speech therapy session on the same day and time as Isaac, which at least saves me some time in the morning. So Tuesdays are going to be intensive therapy days…OT for Isaac at 8am and then ST for both at 8:45am. During the 45 minutes waiting for Isaac, Isabella and I spend some time reading books. She’s been enjoying that especially now that she understands English better. Once we’re done at 9:30am, I drop her off first, drive back almost all the way home to drop Isaac and then off to the office, getting there around 10:35am if I’m lucky.

At school she’s been learning a lot. I think one day they learned about what each “liked” because we’ve been hearing phrases using that word all over the place. “Wow, I like it!”; “Do you like me?”; “I don’t like that”. So she keeps asking if we like her and even after telling her “yes”, or that we do like her a lot (which usually prompts more questions such as if we like Isaac and then proceeds to pose the question for each family member, pets included), she keeps asking if we like her over and over. I think she just loves to hear it and knows she’s starting to annoy us after questioning 4 times in a row. Every once in a while, to get back at her I start telling her “I like you Isabella!” to which she responds “I know, I like you too” and after about 3 repetitions she finally sighs and loudly says “Ok papa, I KNOW!”. Another game she loves is when asking if I like her clothes and I just sit there saying “hmmmm..”, looking up in the air with eyes going from side to side, rubbing my chin as I “think” about it and then blurp “NO!”. She giggles, laughs and asks again. I swear, we could easily keep this up for an hour unless I stop.

So what else did we do for fun besides the above and taxes (took all day last Sunday!!)? Lori got the kids some Easter gifts and they had a lot of fun with them. At school they had lots of activities with egg hunts and such. Since Lori’s been working Saturdays, I’ve been with them pretty much doing nothing but tending, trying to do some “work”, screaming, playing, feeding, and constantly, I mean CONSTANTLY watching Cars. Isabella is absolutely fixated and loves it so much! We have to watch it at least twice every weekend. I don’t mind really ;) Once they’re up for nap time (Isabella usually doesn’t sleep), I get a breather and some stuff done. No wonder it took me so long to get the darn taxes filed!

This month we begin celebrating a lot of “One Year Anniversaries”. Just yesterday was the OYA since our dossier was submitted. And there will be lots more to remember in the coming weeks. The kids are ready to jump in and start swimming. The filters have been cleaned, the clogged vacuum thingamajiggy plumbing is once again wide open after buying an appropriate tool to clean it out and lots of work remains hanging, like washing and detailing cars, trimming bushes so you don’t have to walk sideways in a ducked-position to miss the overgrown branches…you get the idea. Now it’s time to give my fingers a rest and stop yapping.

Dealing with Rejection

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 07:46:00 +0000

Never in a million years did we ever think that pre-schools would discriminate so much. We couldn’t find another school to keep Isaac and they all had some excuse. Potty training was a problem due to age (teachers of 4 to 5 year olds do not want to deal with it, plus they don’t have facilities in the classroom). They wanted to try Isaac out with 2 to 3 year olds because of that, and we were not against it as Isaac does not act his age. His behavior is probably that of a 3 year old, sometimes a bit younger. We’ll find out in approximately a month when we do a neuropsychological evaluation.

We had a hard time in our search as our options were limited due to the school district transportation, which restricted us to about a 2 to 3 mile radius from the Elementary school. We explained the situation and hoped they would show empathy but that didn’t happen. We knew the first few days would be testy as Isaac pushes the limits until he starts trusting. He can’t help wanting to explore around and seeing how everyone around him reacts to his intentional misbehavior (throwing blocks, etc.). Yet schools showed absolutely no patience. One school didn’t even give him more than a 2 hour chance and immediately said no. We were very hopeful as the director had orphanage experience in India. I have to say we were very disappointed with the outcome. Another school just took a look at him and declined. Another one gave us a day to try him out and declined again.

We had a good prospect at another program very close to our house in a church. The facility was very nice, with small classrooms and very nice teachers. However I felt the director was a bit too uptight and snobby. Once Isaac was on test for a week, she kept calling us after an hour or two of dropping him off to come pick him up because he misbehaved (kicked for example). How much damage can a barely 30 pound little boy do? I spent a good amount of time talking to his teacher and she had not seemed concerned at all, but I think the director was just looking for an excuse to not keep him there. On the third trial day once I dropped him off in the morning, she told me it wasn’t going to work out. Nice, wait for me to drop him off to tell me that, instead of calling the day before. So after some B.S., telling me how much she’s going to pray for us (bla bla bla), we left and started searching again. More than disappointment, I was very upset with them as I surely expected a church-based organization to show more empathy. But no, let’s reject a kid that clearly needs help. But we should feel better because they’re praying for us! What a load of bull.

So in the meantime, we had a lot of juggling going on. I worked a lot from home so I could stay with Isaac and worked weekends to try and catch up (and minimize the risk of getting fired!). Lori started working early at 5am so I could drop him off to PPCD at noon, go to work at the office and Lori would finish work at 2pm and pick him up at 3pm. She’s still on that schedule for now until things stabilize. At least my employer has been very accommodating and Lori won’t be able to change her work schedule for long.

We finally found another daycare and they gave us a shot. As usual after the first day they starting waffling but Lori managed to talk them into trying a little harder to give him a chance. We told them what we’re trying to do and decided to keep up our schedules for now so as to only leave him in daycare for about 3 1/2 hours in the morning. That way they can slowly get to know him and hopefully not be so apt to show him the door again. So far it seems to be working and they’ve been patient. Transportation resumed on the second day after spring break, so he was back to PPCD on Tuesday and now they’re also going to start monitoring his behavior issues to build a case for getting more services in summer. Miss C. is very nice and it’s a blessing to have her as his teacher. Isaac needs a lot of structure and consistency so we’re hoping that he will settle in after a few weeks of constancy.

Is there an upside to the story? Yes. Isabella has improved drastically without Isaac around. She spent too much time being distracted and concerned with him and in his absence, she is a completely different person at school. Her English has taken off big time over the last weeks. So in a way, this has been a good discovery as we never thought of sending them to separate schools.

Finally, I’d like to close this post by quoting from an email I got:

I have read your blog for awhile now, but normally do not comment. But we also adopted 2 kids Nov/Dec in 2007 and while our kids are not "twins" they are less than a year apart - boy and girl. We have gone thru a similar situation with our son (although we avoided getting kicked out of preschool - but not by much) and our daughter sounds very much like yours. So I wanted to let you know that you are definitely not alone and I hope that things get better for you. I know that we still have struggles with our son …we had problems at the school because the other kids were giving him a hard time (due to a physical deformity) and he knew no other way to react except to get "violent". Either way I wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and maybe there is a better school for your son where the people will be able to help you out (that happened to us we started w/ home daycare and ended up at their preschool) blessing in disguise. Good luck.

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. We know there are other families in far worse situations than ours. Our kids have faced rejection before, but we’re here to ensure they continue growing up in an inclusive environment. It’s quite appalling how some people just shut their doors when it comes to kids with special needs. Anyway, if someone reading this wants to learn more about their rights, take a look at this page on the Americans with Disabilities Act website.

Above are some more photos from today’s AGC cook-off. Until next time!

Kicked out!

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 07:05:00 +0000

Isaac is a funny little fella. You’ll mostly hear him laugh his heart out. In fact last week the PPCD teacher, Miss C, said that the halls were too quiet without his laughter last Tuesday when we skipped due to the ABR test. However something just wasn’t right at pre-school with Isabella.

Over the last few weeks he’s changed his attitude there and has been totally uncooperative. He’s become more aggressive, kicks, bites, slaps…anything except comply. He’s lost interest in anything and is just not being himself. We thought that since we’ve changed his medications that it could have affected him and in fact we’re slowly switching back to the previous one, but now we’re not so sure anymore that it was to blame.

By the end of last week, they told us that if he doesn’t get better, that they wouldn’t be able to keep him anymore. When he gets that disruptive, he has a negative influence on Isabella’s behavior. We tried talking to him over and over. He didn’t act any differently with us over the weekend and hoped that the slow change in meds might start restoring his behavior when not with us. Well, that clearly didn’t happen!

This morning we had the ophthalmology appointment. We’re going to get yet another set of lenses (bifocals) as his eyes are still crossing. He’ll be seen again in 3 months and then the doctor will decide if he’ll need surgery. Anyway, the above photo was taken at a stop light just before I dropped him off. He was doing fine, in a good mood, having fun with loud music going and generally goofing around. He dozed off towards the end of the trip and that’s when I snapped the photo. We checked in at 9:30am and at 9:45 Lori called me with the news. 15 minutes flat!!!! Is that a new Olympic record or what?

While we’re being inundated with scenes of proud fathers and mothers with their children as Olympic champions, we stand here with our son being kicked out of pre-school. *Gulp*. I hope this isn’t the first in a series of educational mishaps. Miss C. reported that he had a very good day with her today. We’re beginning to think that something must have happened at pre-school to change his attitude. Hopefully we’ll soon find a better fitting place where he’ll be back to being Isaac again in no time.

I wanna ride my bicycle

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 05:42:00 +0000

Isabella’s been begging to go ride her bicycle. The weather hasn’t been great the past few weeks and we’ve been quite busy on weekends (or wiped out!) due to the long work days. But yesterday the sun finally broke through in the afternoon despite rainy forecasts, so I took Isabella out for a ride. Lori was busy doing laundry and since Isaac decided to rain on the parade (uhm, that’s a potty training reference…yes, we’re being unsuccessful so if you have any tips, please post a comment!!), we decided to let him know that Isabella was going out and he’d stay home as a punishment. Needless to say, he wasn’t bothered much! I really have got to keep my blood pressure in check.

We went around the neighborhood and then stopped at a nice open area where she could go fast in a circle, urging me to “come get me papa!”. I indulged and ran after her a few times, only to realize how badly out of shape I was.

Our daughter’s Ukrainian heritage (DNA?) hasn’t been lost: notice the boots while riding! And don’t even try to talk her into wearing any other activity-appropriate shoes; spare yourselves a tantrum!

Hearing and Speech

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 07:21:00 +0000

The ABR test went well. After being given the sedative, it took Isaac a few minutes to fall asleep. He’s finally letting us caress his head too, which made it a bit easier to help him fall asleep. Just a few months ago he absolutely hated it! He still doesn’t always like it but if you keep trying he might let you and then starts enjoying it. Anyway the test revealed that he has a rupture/hole in the right ear drum which is potentially causing moderate hearing loss at low frequencies and mild hearing loss at high frequencies. The left ear seems fine but the drum is a bit too tight.

Today I scheduled an appointment with an ENT specialist so we can figure out what to do next. The audiologist said that the ear drum might be repairable through surgery or sometimes could heal on it’s own. They will also need to clean the ears out better as they still have a good amount of wax (can’t believe it!!). Next week we have a follow-up visit with the Ophthalmologist to see how his eyes are progressing.

The audiologist also said that the hearing loss should not be contributing to speech delay as there is enough hearing for speech development. Isabella is acquiring the language real well and seems to be picking up new words and concepts everyday. Just today as Lori picked them up from pre-school and was reprimanding them for not being very good at school, she started telling her how “Isaac was more bad because he was kicking”. So I guess the positive side of the story is that she’s absorbing words and phrases quite well and using them in the proper context. Now if she could only be “More good than Isaac” :)

Late New Year post

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 21:00:00 +0000

I’m a little late to talk about the New Year (been busy, sorry!) but I have to acknowledge the fact that this marks the first year that the kids will be completely with us. 2009 was half and half but the beginning of 2010 marks a new chapter in their lives.

On December 31st we went to Sugar Land’s New Year celebration. It was quite cold so we bundled up and after a dinner at a pricey restaurant that wasn’t worth the charge, we headed to Town Square for the party. Lori didn’t think we should do anything, citing “they’re too young Dave!” but I wasn’t going to have any of that. So what if they’re young? I wanted to make the start of the new year memorable and I think we succeeded. They loved the loud music and wouldn’t quit blowing the whistles on those horns!

They were in awe when the fireworks started. It wasn’t a big show but for them it was truly fascinating. The expressions on their faces were a lot more precious than the fireworks themselves.

We left soon after and at around 12:35am we made it home. Lori took them in and I stayed in the car waiting for them to go inside through the garage so I could pull in. I did and as soon as I got out, I heard loud shrieking and crying from Isabella. Great, 40 minutes into the New Year and we have a tantrum? So I approached the door and it felt like a scene from a scary Halloween movie….there were bloody smudges all over the door!! I rushed in to find Lori attending to Isabella with a busted lip. Turns out she ran towards the door amidst warnings from her mom to not run, but being Isabella she ignored her and carried on, finally tripping and busting her lip against the door knob. Now that’s what I call memorable!

Isabella has been getting more and more hard headed. We see a lot of new-found independence in her, but we know this will get her in trouble. Needless to say we’ve also been getting a lot more strict with her. We like seeing her independent spirit but she has to learn to listen, judge and then act. Right now that’s not the case and she acts very impulsively. And she ignores authority in most cases, such as when we or the teachers at school tell her not to do something. She always finds a method to get her way. She’s learning that we’re not about to put up with that though. Ignoring her tantrums has slowly been yielding some results. We also have found a few things to trigger her brain to think before acting, such as threatening to not send her to school and put her in the closet under the stair instead ;) Just last night she was doing fine, Lori took them to bed and all of a sudden she goes into a tantrum, shrieking and crying and making a ruckus. After a while I calmly went upstairs and told my wife “don’t worry, I’ll take her down to sleep in the closet”. She continued crying saying “no no not the closet!” and I took her up to the top of the stairs. Then after stopping, I asked her if she was going to quit crying and after confirming, took her back to bed. I fixed her sheets and tucked her in, gave her a kiss and the crying stopped. Mission accomplished! I think we’re finally beginning to make some connections between actions and consequences. And no, we’re not seriously going to lock her up in the closet!

Now Isabella has her ears pierced. She’s very strong and didn’t even flinch when they pressed those ear-rings through. Lori couldn’t believe it. She tried to take them off a few times but didn’t have much trouble with her keeping them on after that. Which is surprising given her fixation sometimes.

Isaac has started PPCD and he’s been doing quite well. He’s getting a lot of one on one attention from his teacher, who’s really nice and loves kids a lot. Going in the afternoon turned out to be a positive move as he’s the only one in class. There are times when he’s also in the company of one or two more kids, but that’s still a really good student to teacher ratio. He is getting speech therapy twice a week and seems to be enjoying himself. It was a bit of an adjustment due to him being used to an afternoon nap but on the whole it’s been a smooth transition.

Changing Isaac’s medication has not yielded the expected results. His seizures have actually increased and his behavior has really degraded in pre-school with a large group and receiving no one-to-one attention. Because of that Isabella has also been losing control. Nothing has changed at home and Isaac still acts fine with us, is very affectionate, funny, etc. We have no attachment issues with both of them, but at pre-school all of a sudden he has become more aggressive and unsocial. So we’re thinking it’s his medication that is to blame. Coupled with the fact that seizures have increased and he’s now exhibiting a new type too, the Neurologist is switching him to a new drug which we’ll start on Monday. It’ll take a few weeks to take him off of it and switched completely to the new one.

We have started weekly Occupational Therapy sessions for Isaac and those have been going quite well too. In the coming month we plan on starting speech therapy for both. Isaac’s receptive language continues to improve, but his expressive language has not developed much. He’s slowly able to make some new sounds and mumbles, probably thanks to S.T. in PPCD. This coming Tuesday we have an ABR test which will hopefully reveal some new things with respect to his hearing. We’re obviously hoping there is a fix, but I’m not holding my breath. On a positive note, Isaac seems to be getting the hang of cycling now and can do it on his own on a tiled floor. We’re going to keep practicing on the tricycle as he’s still not yet ready for cycling on a bicycle. Isabella on the other hand is ready to bite the dust and she’s very dangerous already! She has a lot of balance and strength.

At pre-school they have been keeping Isaac away from his class and a lady’s been spending more time with him. He acts just fine that way, so we’re quite confused. We also found out (let’s say “confirmed”) that Isaac was being restrained quite regularly at the orphanage. This came from an account of a foreign adoptive family who adopted from the same orphanage back in 2007 and knew the twins. They sent us a couple of photos of the kids when they were 2 1/2 years old, which is quite nice to have. It’s remarkable how much they looked alike when younger! Anyway, they said they saw Isaac tied up to the fence when the other kids were running around. I’m actually surprised that Isaac isn’t more mad at people in general and is still such a happy kid. Hopefully he’ll forget about those years and those experiences won’t result in long term effects.

Not seeing her brother acting up has improved Isabella’s attention and behavior in her class. She can become a little obsessive about things (like wanting to constantly change out of dirty clothes!) and she knows the rules and how everyone else should abide by them…except herself. Funny little thing.

And then the glasses…Isaac finally made the first pair vanish. They looked for them at school all over the place, but couldn’t find them. I wouldn’t be surprised if he flushed them! So we got a new pair and they fit much better. We also clip them to his shirt to try avoid such accidents. I think these are more comfortable and he hasn’t tried to get rid of them except the first few days. I think he got the message loud and clear that Mama and Papa are not gonna buy glasses every 3 months! Here’s a photo of both just before we got the new glasses.

We also got some great photos of Nikopol in winter from Carol. It’s amazing to see the change in landscape from the time we were there to now. We don’t think the kids changed that much in the same period, but for us it’s difficult to see those changes since we’re there every day. So here are some shots of places you might recognize from previous images we posted. Until the next post!

I can’t believe the kids and I went for a swim right in the area between those trees! Click here to refresh your memory.

This was the ATB super market that we visited pretty much daily. I’ve witnessed a lot of water on this road one day but never pictured it looking like this in winter.

I really know why they named it “The Penguin” restaurant now!!

Can’t remember how many weddings we’ve seen at this hall or how many times we crossed the street here. Where are the fruit vendors?? Oh, now I also understand what that white paint-looking substance on the tree trunks is for. Didn’t make much sense when seen in summer!

So many hours spent here chasing “Maxim" after constantly running away from the area. So many encounters with kids to play with and snacks consumed.

Too bad kids aren’t allowed to go out and play! But then again, I’m freezing just thinking about it. Gotta go make me a nice hot cup of cappuccino :)

December recap

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 05:59:00 +0000

Time flies by really fast. I didn’t even write anything about Thanksgiving and here we are on Boxing day already. It has been a very busy and difficult month. So get yourself a warm beverage of choice ‘cause this is gonna be a long one!

Thanksgiving was nice and we had O and family over for a great dinner. As usual, my wife cooked a ton of food and we barely finished it all several weeks later (there are still some sweet potatoes in a small container that I’m afraid of opening to throw away….weary of something similar to the curse of Tutankhamun happening!). The kids did fairly good considering the change of conditions (change of routine is not their friend), although we had spurts of crying, which we’ve come to expect pretty much all the time now.

For some odd reason once my parents left, the kids behaved a bit better. I’m not sure exactly why, but I think it had something to do with the change in their environment once again. We could have sworn that Isabella was going to drive us nuts asking “Where’s grandma/grandpa?” after they left, but it didn’t really happen. I guess that’s not such a bad thing because they realize who’s mama and papa and didn’t get confused (which was something the pediatrician was worried about). We have no doubt that bonding has been close to perfect for all of us. The twins both recognize their grandparents now, even when showing them some old video from past travels to Malta for family visits. We have been video-Skyping with them too and the kids play along and respond really well.

On the health front, we’ve been very busy. Isaac has been doing very well in Physical Therapy and we finally got some slots in for Occupational Therapy, twice a week. Unfortunately next year our benefits for therapy are very limited (thanks Health Insurance companies for keeping us hostage for the good of your own shareholder profits) and according to some estimates, we can only get a total of about 12 sessions next year (that’s both P.T. and O.T.), which is not even close to what Isaac’s needs are. And oh, last time I was mistaken about the cost of a 45 minute session; I was told that prior to meeting our deductible, it’s $309 per session!! I sure hope that’s incorrect (perhaps that’s not the “discounted” rate) and if so, we might be able to get a few more in than currently estimated. Isaac is having a bit more trouble with O.T. as keeping focus is not an easy thing for him. Due to our situation, they told us that they would be able to work with us on a home program to help cut down on clinic visits, which we’re very grateful for.

We also had a developmental evaluation at TCH. The interview lasted for close to an our and a half and the clinical psychologist observed the kids and listened to our stories of the kid’s past, their behavior, etc. We were very encouraged that she didn’t see major behavioral issues, as she said “Remember, they’re very young kids!”. We’re new parents and have nothing to compare to except our own childhoods, so we’re quite lost at times (make that “all the time”!). We spent some time discussing how we can improve our parenting skills and she suggested we read the book Parenting the Strong-Willed Child. I’m almost half way through and I really recommend this to all parents, not only ones with strong-willed kids. Actually after reading through descriptions of strong-willed behavior, I can say that the twins don’t come close to being THAT difficult, although they do exhibit a few “symptoms” (Isabella in particular) which I think are mostly the result of attention deficits. The tips discussed in the book and the general approach to communicating with kids has already helped me a lot over the last weeks, especially in focusing on rewarding good behavior, which is very hard to do when you’re so consumed with the bad x 2 kids! However this shift in focus has actually improved the bad behavior a LOT. More on that later.

We also had speech evaluation and Isabella did pretty good, although she can definitely benefit from some speech therapy. Lori was impressed with how much she seems to be learning in pre-school. Her lack of concentration is an issue and you have to constantly remind her to keep her focus, snapping your fingers, making loud noises (like clapping) etc. If something interests her a lot though, it’s getting easier to maintain involvement. This has become clearer when they watch TV, with her attentive stint usually longer than that of Isaac. His evaluation went fairly well too and as expected, he definitely needs a lot of help through speech therapy. On the upside though, it seems there are no other issues impeding his speech development besides the obvious. In a few weeks we’ll re-test hearing after doing further ear cleaning last week.

At the Developmental evaluation they suggested we look into PPCD, especially for Isaac. The diagnosticians at our school district have observed the kids in their pre-K environment and then looked more closely at Isaac in our Elementary School. There hasn’t been a 100% conclusion yet but it’s almost sure that Isaac will be admitted in their half-day program. He’ll receive a good amount of P.T., O.T. and Speech therapy through this and we’ll see how he progresses. He made a positive impact on the teachers with his friendly temperament, even though he had a bad start that morning due to another seizure which required a shot of Diastat.

Speaking of seizures….persistence paid off and we got an appointment for Neurology. We’ll be changing Isaac’s medication as his current one can have an adverse effect on liver function and is not controlling his seizures anyway. It took about 4 days to cut through the red-tape and get it (thanks again, Health Insurance companies). They approved it just for once and we’ll have to go through some process to perhaps get them to cover the medication in the future. It cost us $50 for just this one bottle, so don’t think we’re getting it for free! Doctors and specialists act in the best interest of their patients and prescribe appropriate medications. However we then have to wrestle with Health Insurance companies, who seem to know better what’s best for our health (their pockets, really). If you can’t tell, I’m really ticked off at the complete waste of time resulting from this. Anyway, we also had a follow-up visit with the pediatrician who has noticed positive improvement. Both got the flu and H1N1 vaccines and Isaac also got two more immunization shots. We’re now waiting for the results of a couple more blood tests on him. As you can see, quite a busy month!

Behavior was becoming an issue at school, where Isabella started imitating her brother’s bad traits, laughing at the teachers and running out of class. We were very firm and consistent, putting her to bed early on each occurrence, causing major meltdowns. A few weeks ago, I even had to “take the bike back to the store” and Isabella would constantly ask for it, questioning “Isabella good?”. It is quite funny and endearing actually, but we held off to see if she could have two good days in a row, which didn’t really happen. Then the worst behavior at school started and that’s when we resorted to even tougher consequences. I spent some time talking to her after she gained composure and seemed more thoughtful and focused about the situation. Next day we seemed to turn a corner (on Tuesday 22nd) and she was SOOO excited to have behaved well in school that she couldn’t wait to have mama call me and let me know about it. The questioning tone turned into an enthusiastic “Isabella good!, Isabella GOOD!” and so I promised to “get the bike back”. After pulling into the garage, uncovering the bike and taking it in, I was greeted with a shriek of happiness and some more “Isabella good”. I’ve been really making a huge effort to be sweeter and more attending to her, and she’s responding very well. Lori was already sweet and attending (papa was the tough one) but I’m adapting to a different style than what worked with me as a kid! The book mentioned previously gives some great tips on how to make this work but it does require some effort to change your thinking.

We also had a couple great days when Carol came over and visited for a few days. The kids enjoyed her company and she could see them doing better than the last time she saw them when departing Nikopol. We also met up with the Bush family in Discovery Green (which we termed as “The Houstonian Nikopol Reunion”!). Lori couldn’t make it after being hit with food poisoning late that afternoon. I didn’t do too bad with both kids by myself as I had Carol’s help (like old times eh??). I goofed and lost my bearings after parking in a garage structure, so we got there extra late. Shame on me, but next time I’ll remember that there’s a parking garage right under the site…duh!! We had a great time though and always enjoy some great company. Lucas and Emma are very well-behaved and sweet kids, which is something we aspire to see our kids grow into. We have a looooong way to go!

Isaac and Isabella finally met their other Grandpa. It took a while for it to register that they had another Grandpa, but I think they got it. They kept asking “Grandma too?” but we just said that only Grandpa was coming and left it at that. We went through the same ritual of explaining that this is Mama’s Papa and so on and so forth.

And then there was Christmas Day (I promise, I’m almost done with this novel). Lori bought them a ton of little gifts, some of which were intended to drive me nuts, such as a drum set. So far I have not seen extraordinary rhythmic talent, but we’ll give it a longer chance ;) Their absolute most favorite toy was a personal CD player. Isaac also got his own and they’ve both been jamming all along. Isabella sometimes acts a scary version of Ray Charles, swaying from side to side while giggling and laughing in her pink sunglasses, while Isaac repeatedly asks us to put on the Itsy Bitsy Spider song for him. I need to burn a CD with about 20 instances of that song and I’ll make him the happiest kid on earth!

Late at night on Christmas, the kids and I laid down on the carpet playing with foam blocks. It was the first time I managed to get both of them interested at the same time, so that was the best Christmas present for me. 20 minutes of play doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a start.

They woke up really early on Christmas morning, excited about opening presents. Isabella had been asking to “open it” all week long, tearing a piece of wrapping here and there while snooping around when we’re not watching. Christmas wore them out pretty good, as it has done to me writing all this. Sleep tight!

Birthday and more fun!

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 07:15:00 +0000

We’re now 5 years old!

They probably still don’t know what this celebration was all about, but it won’t take much longer for sure. We held their first party on Saturday at Chuck E. Cheese and let me tell you…my head still hurts thinking about it. My wife had it all planned out and it seems to be some sort of “must” for every kid to have a party there. I don’t feel deprived at all for not having been born in the US and missing out on such a party. I’m not no sure I want to EVER set foot again in that place. It was sooo crowded and noisy and…full of hyper kids! But then what do we do with the remaining tokens?

We had a lot of fun though and so did the twins. Isabella was fascinated at the big rat, especially the mechanical one on the stage. She kept opening up the curtains and peeking in. Then once the big guy came out to sing for all the birthday kids, they wouldn’t let him go! It was quite funny to see. A good number of our friends came along and we’re glad to have had their company on this special day.

Oh, the cakes; Lori decided to do one for each. It won’t be hard to guess which one’s who’s. Did I say that right?

On Friday (their birthday) we went to a car show at George R. Brown Convention Center. My dad loved it and the kids behaved pretty well as we walked around tons of cars and custom bikes. Isaac was in heaven with all the wheels around him. I really enjoyed the show cars at the front entry.

Finally last Sunday, we went to the Wortham Center in downtown Houston to see The Nutcracker. The kids did really good and seem to have liked it a lot. It was funny to hear Isaac scream after acts that he really liked. He surely showed his enthusiasm!

Grandma and Grandpa left for Malta last Tuesday. Isabella threw a fit when she realized Isaac will go back to sleep in his bedroom from now on. It took a few minutes to calm her down but somehow I managed to put a stop to the melt-down. They enjoyed the last two months of sleeping together, but now we’re back to our usual routine. They have to wake up early to go to pre-school and being separated helps them sleep faster since it avoids the usual goofing off! Hopefully once I get back to normal working hours (project deadline looming…long days, short nights, no weekends) we can get the new bikes that grandpa and grandma bought for their birthday out to the park and bite some dust.

More Health and Education news

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:55:00 +0000

It’s been a while and I’d better catch up!

On the health front, Isaac had a follow up visit with his Urologist and so far everything seems great. They want to see him one more time in 6 months to confirm that everything remained normal and that would probably be the last visit.

Physical Therapy has been going quite well since his third visit. The therapists work hard in the beginning to gain the kids’ trust and to be seen as an authority figure. Lori took Isaac for his first session and they let her into the gym, but since then, I’ve always remained in the waiting room while they worked together. They have been making him wear a weighted vest and it seems to have worked wonders for his concentration. I think we need to get us one at home! We really wanted to start Occupational Therapy but they’re backed up at the hospital. Our medical benefits have changed for next year and we won’t be able to do much O.T. without forking a ton of money out of pocket as Medical Insurance will only cover a limited amount (I think it’ll be used up within a few weeks). In my opinion the cost of therapy is ridiculously high. If I’m not mistaken the full cost is about $190 for a 40 minute session. Yikes!

We got a call about an appointment that opened up last week so we had our Developmental Evaluation moved up. This was great news as it meant we only paid the coinsurance amount for Isabella and nothing for Isaac since he’s met the maximum out of pocket for the year. The psychologist didn’t seem to have major concerns and educated us a bit more about FAS/FAE. From what we were told, it seems that a diagnosis of FAS is only done based on the presence of a number of facial features. In the case of the twins, this doesn’t seem to be applicable. So even though exposure has been confirmed, FAS as a diagnosis is probably not likely, although effects of such exposure cannot be excluded and are unknown, as they manifest themselves throughout the developmental years at various levels of intensity. We were encouraged by the observations made and hope to keep helping the kids progress. We were encouraged to read “Parenting the Strong-Willed Child” and seek further assistance if needed. And yes, we’re talking about Isabella here, who was originally portrayed as the angel of the two! My, how things have changed.

Some of the behaviors we described were quite normal for kids their age. This was helpful news as we don’t have other children to compare to! As new parents, it’s quite difficult to navigate your way through and figure out what’s considered normal and what could be a “symptom” or potential problem. We were also advised to look into PPCD (Pre-School Programs for Children with Disabilities) due to the delays present, speech issues, etc. We’re not sure Isabella will qualify, but tomorrow a diagnostician from the Elementary School in our area and someone else will go observe the kids at Pre-School to determine if further evaluation is necessary. If that is the case, they might then be admitted into such program for 5 days a week, half days.

The nice thing about this program is that it targets areas of development such as Speech, O.T., Gross Motor skills etc. which can help them catch up. This is particularly important for Isaac. In the current pre-school they don’t get that kind of specialized tutoring. As part of PPCD, educators work an individualized educational plan to strengthen their deficiencies so they perform better once they join kindergarten. Also, just because they join PPCD doesn’t mean they’ll always need special education from now on. However this might give them the required crash-course/jolt to offset the shortcomings of their early developmental years. We’ll see where this goes in the coming days.

Finally today I decided to call and see if we could move Isaac’s Neurology appointment before the end of the year (lost count how many times I tried). Luckily someone had cancelled and we’re now scheduled for a visit on the10th of December, the same day as his speech evaluation. That’s great news for us as from what we understand, Neurology ain’t cheap! The more we can do this year, the more that will be available next year for other things.

Behavior, Health and Halloween Monsters

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 05:38:00 +0000

So let’s see where we left off last time…Isaac’s surgery went well and he’s all recovered. The MRI results came back and showed the potential effects of FAS (shortened Corpus Callosum). I’m using the word “potential” because the effects of pre-natal alcohol are not something of absolute certainty and vary from individual to individual. Doctors like to look at other possible issues such as genetic abnormalities etc. In the case of the twins, there are developmental differences that they want to make sure are not the result of something else. As of now FAS is at the top of the list in explaining Isaac’s problems and other behavioral issues that have become more evident with Isabella. In future posts I intend to post further details as we learn more about the effects of FAS. Before we adopted, this used to be something we didn’t want to deal with but as we learn more about it and thanks to some adoptive families that shared their own personal experiences, we feel like we can help our children lead an independent life, even though it won’t always be roses, butterflies and rainbows ;)

The twins have had a couple of really bad days with their grandparents. I think that their proneness to ADHD makes it difficult sometimes to focus and listen. Behaving properly is difficult for a brain that cannot focus and jumps from one thing to the next. For a while it was difficult to figure out what we can withhold as a punishment. Now we mention vetoing toys, Barney (ugh!) and riding in the car if they don’t behave. After an abysmally bad Monday, they’ve had a much better two days, although they did start misbehaving a bit again today. After some timeouts on the couch, they improved. Once I got back from work and Isabella was all over me with hugs and kisses, we had the “talk” and she sombered up as her head lowered during my speech. Isaac didn’t want to talk about it obviously but motioned that he was sorry. Hopefully as we continue to mention these punishments, they will think twice before getting out of control. I’m sure we’ll have many instances where these punishments will be enforced before they “get it”.

Isaac has now started Physical Therapy once a week to work on his fine motor skills and gait training. Getting his attention is the biggest challenge, but hopefully once he gets on a schedule and we start working on specifics with him at home, it’ll get better. We re-did Audiology testing, but one test (tympanogram) was inconclusive yet again due to wax buildup. His ear canals are very small and the reduced volume has a big effect. The other test went great and he passed with flying colors. So we’ll retest before the end of the year after more ear drops and wax cleaning.

But it wasn’t all health and behavior problems; we had some fun too! For Halloween, Lori dressed up the twins as clowns. I think the idea was really inspired by Isaac, the real clown.

The costumes fit them great and they wore them on our non-traditional outing. What better way to spend Halloween than to go see some loud “Monsters” in person? We all enjoyed the outing, but Isaac was the most excited (my father was a close second).

Yes, Monsters with wheels! It was a great contrast between insanely big and oh so small.

We took pictures with Isaac and Isabella sitting on the wheels of one of the trucks, which turned out to be the winner of the night.

We like to think they brought a lot of luck to “Tail Gator”. It was a chilly night of great value for some awesome, loud family fun. The twins don’t yet understand Halloween, so a non-traditional celebration was a better option for us. We all enjoyed the truck-donuts and freestyle events. We were rednecks for a night!

The first 100 days

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:53:00 +0000

It’s been a roller-coaster, mostly fun and rewarding, but it hasn’t been easy. Discovering what issues the kids might be affected with, learning about their family and their first days of life was the most difficult part so far. We’ve had plenty of medical visits, bills piling up, etc., but some great days have offset all the other difficulties put together. We’re not doing too bad at this parenting thing! Ahh, on-the-job training.

Isaac’s MRI testing was done and we’re still waiting for results. He wasn’t a happy kid coming out of anesthesia and I’m not looking forward to tomorrow’s surgery. Due to cancellations, we were moved up from a 9:30am surgery to a 7:30am appointment, which means leaving the house around 5am to get there at 6am. Meaning waking up even earlier! I’d rather someone shoot me than go to bed early. See? It’s 10:15pm and I’m typing this up instead of sleeping =)

This past weekend the kids got to experience the Houston Symphony at Jones Hall in downtown Houston. They have a great program targeted for kids on Saturday mornings and we decided to give it a shot. My wife doesn’t like symphonies. She says something on the line of “what’s the point of watching music?? I’d rather watch a play!”. Needless to say it makes my blood boil and jaw drop to the floor. But what can one do? Anyway, the kids did great and regardless of whether they end up culturally inclined towards classical music or not, they’re at least getting exposed to new things, learning how to behave in public, encouraging them to focus their attention on something, etc. They seem to have enjoyed it overall, especially when the volume was high. Isaac was particularly alert when percussion was active, but when the notes got too soft, he starting to doze off and snooze! I held him on my lap most of the time while Isabella sat by Lori. They had no clue what the “Wizard of Oz” was, but you gotta start somewhere. Lori dressed Isaac in a great outfit (thanks Lucas!) and he looked like a conductor. The only flaw was that we forgot to purchase any dressy shoes for him, so we had to go with the trusty “Cars” sporty shoes. I like to think of him as a little version of “House”. So that’s the next thing on the to-buy list. Here’s the gang heading for downtown & Isaac pointing at cars.

These were taken before the performance started. It was only an hour long.

Later we went for lunch at Buca di Beppo and ate a LOT.

Fleur and Elton, this is for you! And yes, there’s still leftovers in the fridge. Did you think we were gonna eat all that at once?? Especially not after myself and my parents munched down a Buca Large, meant for 4 to 6 people? PS: My Dad ate most of it and boasted he could chow it down on his own. Bluff!

Ok this post is getting long and I gotta go to bed. So I’ll end it with some more pictures from an outing yesterday with our great friends A, G and O + parents at Old MacDonald Farm. Here’s to the next 100!

Thanks O for the “O-some” photos!

25%

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 04:16:00 +0000

No, that’s not how much I saved by switching to Geico =)

It’s hard to believe but we’ve been home exactly 3 months…25% of a year. So much has changed and every now and then we look at “old” photos and observe how quickly the kids are growing.

We recently did a birth search (email me if you want her details…I highly recommend her) and found that the weights we were given at the orphanage were not their birth weights but the ones of when they registered them at the first orphanage. Isabella was born at 2kg (4.4lbs) and Isaac was a whopping 400g (14.1oz). No, that’s not a mistake! This week we had the cardiology visit and got a call to confirm the weight I wrote down as they thought it was a mistake. Anyway, Isabella was born first at home and Isaac was born on the ambulance en route to the hospital. Isabella spent 5 days in the hospital, 15 days with her birth mom and aunt, and was then sent to an orphanage. Isaac spent 2 months in maternity hospital (oxygen chamber) and then went straight to the orphanage. He was never in his birth mom’s arms. The kids were then probably moved to the Nikopol orphanage at 5 months old.

Their family (aunts and birth father) want to keep in touch and we’ll try to send them updates. The family story is quite sad and you could easily say it was torn apart due to heavy alcohol abuse. It’s very unfortunate and we hope the kids were not too severely effected and can lead an independent life.

On the health front, the cardiologist cleared Isaac and saw nothing abnormal in his EKG, with his murmur within functional limits. Isabella’s murmur is barely audible, however he saw something minor in the EKG which he wants to confirm in a year (he was comparing to 4 year old and 5 year old benchmarks and since she falls in between, he couldn’t confirm with certainty so he wants to make absolutely sure). So Isaac is now cleared for sedation and can have his MRI on the 15th October and surgery to correct his cryptorchidism on the 20th of October. We now need to schedule speech and development evaluations.

Isaac’s medicine dosage was increased and it seems to have kept seizures at bay for the time being. We’re now almost a month since the latest event. Over the last couple of months he was having a fit on 3 week intervals, so this adjustment seems to be helping. Since the last hospital measurements (39 days), Isaac gained another 0.66lbs and grew 0.94” in height. Isabella gained the same weight (can’t say we’re not feeding them equally!) and grew 0.51” in height.

We had a blast at South Padre Island. The kids were introduced to a lot of new things such as riding a boat and watching dolphins, climbing into a lighthouse, tumbling in the surf, gulping nasty salty water and visiting a museum. Their appetite tripled around the coast and they finally got some color. Oh, and I forgot pirates…..aaaarrrgggh!!

School, Grandparents and Vacation

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 06:31:00 +0000

The kids keep progressing. Isaac wears his glasses fine at home but rebels against them in school. It takes some evening and morning reminding to help in wearing them longer in school. He’s thrown them across the class too and popped out a screw, which caused a lens to come undone. We weren’t too happy about that and he understood how upset we were. On nights and weekends he keeps them on at all times and knows how to put them on and adjust when necessary. Now that we’re on vacation for two weeks we have the opportunity to drill it in him how important it is to wear them at all times and so far it seems to be helping.

Isabella has had a few bad days at pre-K. She’s thrown dirt at others, ran away from teachers (out of the classroom) and has also spit at them. Throwing dirt and spitting are things we’ve seen her do at the orphanage and we thought she had outgrown them but somehow she started again. She thinks it’s great fun and has a distinct laugh when being mischievous (think Beavis and Butthead…she has the Beavis laugh!). We keep reminding her that such things are unacceptable and she seems to do better when reminded frequently. As to running away, that’s quite new but once again she thinks it’s fun. Hopefully the nightly talks before bedtime will help dispel the myth that such things are “fun”.

Isabella used to cry at bed time, ALL the time. She’d call for mama and if Lori stood by her for a while and then left to go to bed herself, she’d cry for her anyway, yell, then rock her head and cry herself to sleep. So recently I started to sit and talk to her before going to bed, telling her not to cry and that mama and papa will be here in the morning, encouraging her that she doesn’t need to cry because she’s a big girl (Lori doesn’t like that comment. I think it helps instill self-esteem…but what do I know?!). So far it’s been working and she seems to have snapped out of it. In fact this week we’re in South Padre island and mama isn’t with us (she couldn’t make it due to work) but she has been going to bed without the usual fuss.

Grandma Rose and Grandpa Joe arrived last Thursday afternoon. I picked them up at the airport and then we drove home to unload and wait for Lori to come home with the kiddos after picking them up from pre-K. The twins were happy to see them, even though they probably had no clue who they were! I kept telling them that these were my mama and papa and they stared at me in bewilderment. It was kinda funny and Isabella has learned to call them “grandpa” and “grandma”. Isaac finds it easier to call them using the Maltese version “nanna” and “nannu”, although mom noticed him mumbling “grandpa” quite clearly a couple of times. Obviously he won’t repeat when asked and starts laughing. They got plenty of gifts from family back in Malta and they still haven’t opened them all as we’re trying to release them slowly.

Later on Thursday we went to the Cheesecake factory for a quick bite. My parents had a “small” burger and we obviously took photos while they opened their mouths to get their first bites of American bounty.

Isabella sat between them and kept blowing kisses. They really didn’t complain…

On Saturday Isaac was helping my mom to fold the sheets. He’s now sleeping in his sister’s bedroom on the trundle bed while my parents use his bedroom with the full-size mattress and other trundle if needed. Isabella actually loves to use the lower bed and lets her brother sleep on the higher side. They giggle away for a long time and takes them longer to sleep.

As I said earlier, we’re spending the week in South Padre island at the company condo. It’s been 2 years since our last visit and we love it here at the end of September/beginning of October. The weather is still nice and warm (it’s actually quite hot) and very quiet around here. We have met with the x-president of the firm I work for and his family. The twins have finally socialized and played with their kids today at the pool. The surf was a bit rough so we skipped the beach and headed for the pool, where they loved jumping in the cool, clear water. We plan on taking them on a dolphin-watch trip and more swimming of course in the coming days. They’ve been eating a lot and now have a nice tan. I’m just having too much fun and keep reminding myself that I need to stop and take some photos and videos!

Screw-ups, Growth, Glasses and Education

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 04:03:00 +0000

Lots to talk about today!

First, LabCorp screwed up yet again…for the THIRD time. We finally got all the test results back and we should be finished for the time being. We’re not too happy with their performance.

The second screw-up was Isaac’s Certificate of Citizenship, which shows him as being born in China. We got a kick out of this. Imagine: Twins…one born in Ukraine and one in China. Need I say more??

In my last post I mentioned how much the kids had grown, but something didn’t sound right. So I got the figures from the hospital and am keeping record myself too, so here’s a correction. Since we met them in May/June, Isaac has gained 1.32lbs and grew 0.83”, while Isabella gained 0.44lbs and grew 0.59”. We don’t think Isaac was receiving enough nutrition, probably because he gets distracted so easily. We’ve been having to keep reminding him to eat when at the table and not play around with the fork or stare at us eating. The funny thing though is that in the morning, he devours his breakfast and needs no reminding whatsoever!

At the Ophthalmologist visit, the doctor decided to try correcting Isaac’s crossed eye with glasses. She might try a patch later on, but she’ll see us again in 2 months to measure progress. We don’t have the kids on a vision plan yet, so it cost a little bit of money to get the glasses. However this is temporary and we’ll have to think about covering them later. I honestly didn’t think the doctor would try glasses, so we’ll have to see if there’s some exception since this isn’t really to correct his eye lens but the eye alignment. Pretty amazing how much stuff you have to learn about quickly eh?

The kids love playing with each other and they seem to be having fun in pre-school. We haven’t experienced attachment issues and we told the school how they can help with that. The kids, especially Isaac, tend to be overly friendly and want to hug everyone. Although for the untrained eye it might seem sweet, in actuality it could be a potential FAS symptom/effect, or because they were institutionalized at such a young age. Learning social boundaries, such as understanding the difference between parents/relatives and friends & strangers is very important for their development.

Finally, today I read a couple of really good articles in the RainbowKids.com newsletter that I subscribe to and I’d like to share a link to them. I highly recommend them for anyone considering an adoption or for those that want to understand the issues that adoptive families might have to deal with:

Schooling

d.baldacchino@sbcglobal.net — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 03:10:00 +0000

Unfortunately we were not able to find a day-care with transportation that we liked in the city where the public pre-school was. So we came to the decision of choosing a more convenient location and also find the best option possible for a pre-school/day-care facility since Lori had to return to work too.

We believe to have found that place and the kids started school last Friday. The first day went fairly smooth, especially for Isabella. The teacher said she was very good, interacted with the other kids and kept asking their names so she would learn them. She was also very interested in all the activities they did, such as painting. In fact by the time Lori picked them up, her shirt did not look like that! Actually Isaac’s didn’t either, but supposedly the paint comes off with regular washing, so we shall see.

On the other hand, Isaac didn’t do so well. He wasn’t interacting much and didn’t show a lot of interest and focus. And the worst part was that he kept escaping from the classroom. Sounds very familiar to his orphanage behavior where he constantly escaped the playground. There’s little doubt that he has attention issues so we’ll see how he progresses as they adjust to their new setting.

We continued with hospital appointments and in a little over a month, Isaac has grown 0.6” and Isabella 0.9”. We think that’s pretty remarkable for these little kids. Their weight gain wasn’t too bad either and they put on about a half a pound. Isaac still needs to grow considerably, so he’ll receive some extra boost through higher calorie-packed meals (per nutritionist suggestions). Their diagnosis is still not final because there are more tests to run, but we’re preparing ourselves for the inevitable news. More on that in another future post.

Isaac had yet another seizure on August 21st. It was a little stronger than the previous one, but he snapped out of it in 10 minutes. His EEG showed some abnormalities on the right-side of the brain, which no one was surprised to find out given his history of epilepsy. The next step will be an MRI but only after we get clearance from the cardiologist. This Friday we will visit the Ophthalmologist to figure out what to do about his eyes.

On the whole they are progressing quite well. Isabella’s vocabulary continues to grow while Isaac has become more “chatty” after we got their ears cleaned out from the wax build-up. We couldn’t believe our eyes how packed they were! The wax almost turned into a scab and took several tries by the nurse and daily drops at home to soften things up. In fact we have to repeat some Audiology tests because they were inconclusive due to the low ear canal volume.

Tomorrow will be the start of a full school week. Let’s hope they keep up their smiles and enthusiasm!