Ultimate Parenting 101

Parenting Present with Eckert Tolle: Simply Breathe More

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:06:00 -0700

"No!" delivered with a coy smile is currently my 1.5 year old son's favorite response to most everything these days.

This endless new game--a basic misbehavior millions of parents encounter hourly--once may have had me swimming in the parenting deep end, but not anymore. Along with my graduate studies in family counseling and the seven years of living in the parenting trenches with two blind brothers (who often made Hellen Keller's early defiance look like a cake walk), I now have added new depth and breadth by parenting consciously from "beingness" with much thanks to Eckert Tolle's and Oprah's New Earth work.

The formula for life and for parenting is simple: breathe.

Writing this last sentence makes me laugh. You see, I have delivered hundreds of parenting strategies that, for the record, do work and have worked on millions, but never have I suggested to a parent struggling with the latest misbehavior challenge to simply "breathe"--that is until now!

Along with millions of others, I have been touched, inspired and transformed by the work of Eckhart Tolle in his latest book, A New Earth and his online course with Oprah. His work has confirmed what I have always known--the best parents are those who are the most present for their children.

It is indeed our presence as parents that makes the best present for our children.

Easy to do. Nope, especially in the midst of award winning temper tantrums or your child's deviant look that says, 'GO AHEAD! MAKE MY DAY.' Yet, making the shift from the mind to the breath has provided me with more peace, more joy and more gratitude. It is as if the mommy worries, doubts, frustrations, stresses and pure exhaustion (from believing I had to do it all, and be all things to all people) have simply dissolved into nothingness.

These days, I am taking the art of parenting present to a new level and choosing to consciously "be" in the moment with full acceptance, rather than resistance, to my child's behavior.

So tonight when my son refused to brush his teeth, I sit on the toilet holding his brush in hand with eyes closed and just focus on my breath. In that moment I accept he is not going to brush his teeth--at least right now. And then I just wait. I breath. I inhale, I exhale. I focus on my hands, my feet, and my breath. After a while he approaches me, curious, then runs away. I breath. I breath. I breath. I BREATHE. He approaches again, but this time he sits and we brush. No yelling, no coercing--pure power from surrendering to the moment and simply breathing.

Sounds rather ridiculous (at least to the mind), yet pure genious and it works! So the latest parenting strategy I uphold is to simply breathe.

Episode 006 - Homework SOS: Parenting Homework Motivation Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 13:05:00 -0800

Commonsense parenting tips that are fun, child-proofed and work to bring out kids' best!

In Episode 6 of the Ultimate Parent Podcast, Kelly Nault talks about how parents can motivate their children to do their homework without pulling teeth.

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Episode Resources

Ultimate Parent
When You're About To Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids With You

Episode Credits

Voice Intro by Tom Matzen
Music by Farewell Redemption of the Podsafe Music Network

Child Discipline Do's and Don'ts from Rochester 98PXY Spezzano and Sandy Interview Now Uploaded

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 10:36:00 -0800

With thanks to 98PXY producer Amanda we now have a copy of the one hour radio interview on effective child discipline that I gave to Spezzano and Sandy on Rochester's #1 Hit Music Station 98 PXY in January 2007.

Click play button below to listen to this interview on effective discipline which includes all the call in questions from parents wanting to know how to deal with everything from a 4 year old who calls his mom "stinky mommy" to a nanny who struggles to be heard the first time.

Enjoy!

1 hour 98PXY Interview re: effective child discipline and parenting.

Britney Spears and Baby Blues: How to Prevent Postpartum Depression from Happening to You

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 08:19:00 -0800

Z95 Vancouver radio hosts Nat and Drew called me on air this week to ask if Britney Spears recent check in to the posh Malibu rehab center could have been caused by postpartum depression. My reply? Read on...

Until someone has walked in another women's nursing bra, one should never judge a new mother (as ALL moms do enough judging of themselves!). So what is going on for Britney is really between her and her loved ones and her therapists. Thus, whether she suffers from postpartum is pure speculation.

Yet, the fact is over 50% of ALL women giving birth do experience some form of postpartum depression or "baby blues!" Not surprising when you consider the amount of hormones our bodies produce, the fact that many of us have a cocktail of drugs coursing through our body from the hospital stay and the fact that uninterrupted sleep is non-existent. Sleep is one of the biggest challenges for new parents. Remember that sleep deprivation has been used throughout the ages as a form of torture and can wreak havoc on any body. Add to this mix possible hemorrhoids, recovering from a c-section, breast engorgement, crying (you and your baby) and it's enough to have on their knees crying the blues.

Fortunately, there are tips learned from some of the top midwifes, doctors and pediatric and community nurses that can curb postpartum and even prevent it.

Four Ways to Prevent and a Least Lessen the Effects of Postpartum Depression:

1. Make feeding your number one priority. During the first month make feeding your baby your number one priority as there is nothing worse than dealing with the stress of having your baby continue to loose weight. If you are breast feeding, practise feeding every hour during waking hours the second day of your child's life until your milk comes in. This gives you and your baby the opportunity to practice this life saving art as well as promotes quicker milk production. Also, make certain you have a proper latch by getting coached by nurses, lactation specialists, midwifes or members of La Leche League. If you are in the hospital don't leave the hospital until you are confident in your ability to feed. Finally, during the first couple of weeks wake the baby at least every 3 hours during the day to feed to ensure they are getting enough milk.

2. Focus on sleep. Repeat to yourself the following essential mantra: "I sleep when baby sleeps!" Sleep as much as you can especially during the first month. Let others do household chores and let your standards go. In places like Bali mothers are given a 4-6 week grace period in which they remain at home and are only expected to take care of the baby and themselves. This is wise practise for all of us to follow as it gives mom and babe a chance to bond and makes healthier, happier and more rested mothers period!

3. Limit your visitors. When a baby arrives, often everyone and there dog wants to visit, which can making "sleeping when the baby sleeps" next to impossible. If you allow your home to becomes a revolving door of visitors especially during the first month, new mothers can become exhausted. Remember that your baby will have their entire life to meet other people and only needs you right now. One simple way to keep guest visits short is to do something called, "robe play." Even if you have showered and put your clothes on for the day change into your robe or PJ's when visitors come. Why? Because this visual let's visitors know that you are not yet 100%. Recently, with the birth of my son, I was amazed how quickly guests would keep their visits short and sweet when they arrived to find me in my robe.

4. Take care of you to the best of your ability. Aside from sleeping when the baby sleeps find ways to do the little things that make you feel good like getting some fresh air now and again, brushing your teeth, having a shower and eating well! If you are breast feeding, your body requires 500 more additional calories (more than when you are pregnant!). You are now REALLY eating for two so eat frequently, eat well and drink lots of water.

How Others Can Help New Moms to Prevent Post Pardum :

Loving family members and friends can best be of service to a new mom by providing food, food and more glorious food! They can also do whatever they can to let mom (and dad) sleep, help run errands, do household chores and give the new family space . The best gift I ever received as a new mom was from my dad who hired a "post-doula" a couple times a week for the first six weeks who came in did our laundry, made meals and helped hold our crying son during difficult bouts to let us sleep.

When to Get Professional Help for Post Pardum:

Regardless of what you do if your hormones are out of whack and you need help, please seek help! There are many newborn hotlines, and doctors who can help get you back on track. If you experience any of the following you need outside help:

- Your depression interferes with your ability to care for your baby.
- You have thoughts of harming your baby or self.
- You cry for days.
- You feel intense fatigue or sleepiness and can't get up.
- You have days of feeling hopelessness and/or helplessness.

Picture with thanks of Fox News

The Secret: Parenting Success Secrets Using the Law of Attraction

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 18:19:00 -0800

Oprah audiences were recently a buzz discussing the universal truths held in the new movie "The Secret" which is defined by creator Rhonda Byrne as the law of attraction--the principle of "like attracts like." This universal truth states that we actively create our own circumstances and situations by the choices we make in our daily life. And each of our choices are fueled by our thoughts. For more check out: http://thesecret.tv/home.html . So how can this principle be applied to parenting...read on!

Attraction Parenting

Struggle is not part of the natural order of life. One never sees a cherry tree struggle to produce blossoms when given the right environment. Why? Because the tree is simply following its' purpose--its' very essence. Fortunately, struggle does not have to be part of the parenting equation either. When we consciously choose to harness the energy from universal truths such as the law of attraction we can quickly experience a happier, more peaceful and respectful home.

What is Attraction Parenting?

The people around us, especially those closest to us (like our children), continually reflect and respond to our feelings, energy and actions. Our kids behavior mirrors what is going on within us. If your kids currently have you in the "parenting deep end", it may be time to ask yourself, "How am I contributing to my kids behavior?"

- Are your kids simply responding to the stress you deeply feel?
- Are your children crying out for quality time with you, because you aren't giving quality time to even yourself?
- Are your kids no fun to be around because frankly, you aren't fun to be around?

We can't give, what we don't have. It is this simple.

The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #1 - You are modeling for your children how to behave every moment of every day.

Children watch what we do far more than they listen to what we say. Thus, if you are yelling at them to be quiet, pushing them to do what you want them to do, and using a disrespectful tone when frustrated--you are only teaching them how to treat you. Stop! Take a breath and make a commitment to walk your talk and model for your child what a happy and healthy human being looks like, talks like and acts like. Then watch them follow!

The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #2 - You are your child's most powerful self-esteem mirror.

Your child seeks approval from you more than anyone else. To them, you are their mirror that tells them how deserving or unworthy they are. If you reflect positive feedback they will believe this, if you reflect negative they will believe this about themselves too. Although, children can eventually overcome poor self-esteem resulting from negative parenting, overt and even subtle put downs can prove devastating to their sense of self worth and well being. By using the power of your words and actions to encourage, rather than discourage, you can be a beacon of light that illuminates your child's worthiness. This powerful gift of positive mirroring can inspire your child to believe in themselves, to follow their passions and go on to live a life that is truly worth living.

Therefore, choose to reflect and mirror:

- Your child's brilliance for who they are and who they are becoming; not focusing so much on what they do.
- Your child's natural god given gifts that are unique to them.
- Your child's worth by being grateful for who they are, grateful for how they bring joy to your life and be thankful for all their contributions.

The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #3 - The more you focus on the positives of your child, the more you will experience them.

Whatever you focus on expands. Thus, if you spend much of the day nagging about all the things your child isn't doing, or all the bad things your child is doing, you are simply attracting more of these frustrating experiences to you! Instead we can take affirmative steps to create the behaviors we want by simply noticing and being grateful for what we do like. One of my favorite parenting gratitude techniques is what I call the "Dog Factor!" You know how dogs unconditionally show us love and affection--greeting us at the door enthusiastically whether we are gone for 2 days or 2 minutes? Well, apply this approach to your own family. Beam with love when they come home or when they enter the room.

The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #4 - Discipline only teaches children to do better next time, when they feel better.

This is probably this most challenging parenting tip for parents to swallow and accept. Discipline doesn't have to feel bad to be effective. In fact, most discipline that is based on punitive punishment, only teaches our kids to lie and not get caught next time! What you reap is what you sow. Thus, if your punishment is focused on rehashing all the bad things your child has done you are only attracting more of this bad behavior to you.

For discipline to really inspire children to want to do better next time it needs to:

1. Be respectful.
2. Focus on the solution and how to do better next time.
2. Any consequences given need to be directly related to the behavior.

By filling our home with positive, words and positive actions (even positive music) like the ones discussed above we can to begin to experience more and more positive interactions that warm the hearts of our entire family.

Episode 005 - Parenting Tips for Soccer Moms and Hockey Dads: How to Use Child Sports to Bring Out Their Best

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 13:47:00 -0800

Commonsense parenting tips that are fun, child-proofed and work to bring out kids' best!

In Episode 5 of the Ultimate Parent Podcast, Kelly Nault interviews a sports counselor on which sports provide the best learning ground for children and how parents can raise their child's self-esteem using sports.

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Episode Resources

Ultimate Parent
When You're About To Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids With You

Episode Credits

Voice Intro by Tom Matzen
Music by Farewell Redemption of the Podsafe Music Network

Next podcast - February 28, 2007

Child Discipline Do's and Don'ts for Parents

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Thu, 1 Feb 2007 19:27:00 -0800

My favorite PXY Rochester Radio station (with Scottie, Sandy and Moose) had their phones lighting up this morning with parents desperate to know how to deal with the temper tantrums and disrespect from theirs kids. So grateful for the opportunity to share.

Below are some of the discipline basics.

Kelly Nault's Discipline Do's include:

1. Always use discipline that is related to the behavior you are trying to change.

i.e. Taking away their PlayStation when they have forgotten to clear the dinner table doesn't relate but not having bedtime stories until the dishes are completely clean does.

2. Deliver any discipline in a calm and kind manner.

Remember our kids watch what we do far more than they will ever listen to what we say. Therefore, stay away from having your own temper tantrums. ;-)

3. Follow through.

Do what you are say you are going to do! Why? Because if your threats are empty then you are only teaching your child that your word is no better than dirt.

Kelly Nault's Discipline Don'ts include:

1. Don't cave and give in to your child's demands!

If you give in to your child you are only sentencing yourself to more temper tantrums in the future as you are teaching them that being disrespectful is a powerful tool to get their way.

2. Don't give chances.

Giving many chances only teaches our kids to NOT listen to us the first time.

3. Don't yell or fly off the handle.

When your child is pushing every button you have (even some that you didn't know you had!) it can be difficult to keep our cool and yet, this is essential to solving the problem. If your adrenalin is pumping consider using a parent time-out--in which you take time to cool down so you can deal with your child in a calm and positive manner.

Most parents use forms of punishment to make their children pay for their mistakes. Parents often also believe that a child must feel bad. Unfortunately, this approach generally motivates children to learn how to not get caught next time--not learn how to do better next time. Harsh punishment that is not related to the misbehavior can also leave children with a bad taste in their mouth declaring that it "just isn't fair!" When kids feel hard done by they will often lash out and hurt their parents back which sets up an unhealthy cycle of revenge.

Stop the parenting insanity!

If you learn how to use discipline in a way that brings out the best in both you and your child you can experience more quality time together, greater moments as a proud parent and (sigh) more peace in your home.

With thanks to 98PXY producer Amanda we have a copy of the show below. Click play to listen to this interview on effective discipline which includes all the call in questions from parents wanting to know how to deal with everything from a 4 year old who calls his mom "stinky mommy" to a nanny who struggles to be heard the first time.

1 hour 98PXY Interview re: Effective Child Discipline and Parenting

The Price of A Child

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 03:50:00 -0800

This bit of parenting inspiration arrived in my email box today is just too good to keep to myself. Enjoy!

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:* $8,896.66 a year,* $741.38 a month, or* $171.08 a week.* That's a mere $24.24 a day!* Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich."

Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140?

- Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
- Glimpses of God every day.
- Giggles under the covers every night.
- More love than your heart can hold.
- Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
- Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
- A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
- A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites
- Some one to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:

- Finger-paint.
- Carve pumpkins.
- Play hide-and-seek.
- Catch lightning bugs.
- And never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:

- Keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh.
- Watch Saturday morning cartoons.
- Go to Disney movies.
- And wish on stars.

You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay or Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:

- Retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof.
- Taking the training wheels off a bike
- Removing a splinter.
- Filling a wading pool.
- Coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs.
- And coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the:

- First step.
- First word.
- First bra.
- First date.
- And first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits. So, one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for t he price!!!!!!!

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 10:17:00 -0800

Adulescene: Will Your Child Be Ready For the REAL World?

The epidemic what is sometimes referred to as "Peter Pandomonium" or "Boomerang Kids" in which a greater number of young adult children are continuing to live at home and/or return home was the topic on the Bill Good Radio show panel I was on today. (Listen to the full show below).

The statistics show us that there is an over 50% increase in adult children living at home since the 70's in North America. Should parents be concerned? Well it depends if you feel your kids are primarily looking for "what can I get" or "what can I give."

Are You Guiding Your Children To Be Capable and Responsible?

In many cultures, a family home successfully includes extended family where children will often live with their parents well into their 30's. When this works well it is because each family member is a contributing participant. The parents who give their children a "hand-up" by having their children contribute in terms of chores and/or finances get the thumbs up by me.

The parents I am concerned for are those who have fallen into the common trap of giving their children constant "hand-outs" like VISA cards with no limits, and catering to them hand and foot. Coddling your child in this manner leads to freeloading children who do not develop the confidence, desire and motivation to contribute in any sort of meaningful way.

How to Be Certain You Are Not Spoiling Your Child

Not so long ago we would say, "Eat all your vegetables because there are children starving in India." Today, what we should say is, "Do all your homework as there are children in India starving for your future job." Many jobs are now being filled by well educated and highly motivated young adults from countries such as India. Why? They will often work for less AND will go the extra mile because they have a burning desire to get ahead.

Have you noticed that many young adults today are lacking the kind of work ethic? Want to make certain your child doesn't fall into this category? Then make certain you are giving them the opportunity to contribute in meaningful ways around the house. I've alway been a huge chore advocate (see my article on chores here). Also, let them earn there own way just a bit more by giving them that "hand-up" but not constant "hand-outs."

Developing an attidutude of gratitude and a solid work ethic in our kids is one of the key to being a great parent. This can only be done when we give them the chance and opportunity to give to us and to others. Take the time to learn how to parent your child in a way that brings out the best in them by signing up for my free parenting course and by getting my book "When You're About To Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids With You."

To listen to the taped CKNW Bill Good Show in which Kelly Nault is one of the panel guest authors discussing 40 minute show on adult children living at home just press play below.

First Segment of the Bill Good Show CKNW (aprox 8 mins)

Segment 2 Bill Good Show CKNW (aprox 8 mins)

Segment 3 Bill Good Show CKNW (aprox 8 mins)

Segment 4 Bill Good Show CKNW (aprox 8 mins)

Final Segment Bill Good Show CKNW (aprox 8 mins)

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 08:54:00 -0800

New Baby Arrival: The Stork Brought Parenting Author Kelly Nault a Toddler!

On October 28th, 2006 Kelly (at 5 feet 2 inches) delivered Tyler Kennedy into this world--a big baby boy! When the doctor asked, "Would you like to see your toddler?" before placing Tyler into Kelly's arms she knew he had to be big! At just over 10 pounds, Tyler is indeed a bouncing baby boy.

Both mom and baby are doing great--feeding, sleeping, walking and even going on a few snowshoe adventures with husband Tom. Currently, Kelly is on maternity leave until February so she can best take care of herself and her new babe.

Episode 004 - Sibling Rivalry Solved: Parenting Must Know Secrets to Stop The Fights

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 11:12:00 -0800

Commonsense parenting tips that are fun, child-proofed and work to bring out kids' best!

In Episode 4 of the Ultimate Parent Podcast, Kelly Nault talks about how to curb sibling rivalry so that you allow your children to learn conflict resolution skills, but also keep the peace within the family.

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Episode Resources

Ultimate Parent
When You're About To Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids With You

Episode Credits

Voice Intro by Tom Matzen
Music by Farewell Redemption of the Podsafe Music Network

Next podcast - January 4, 2007

Episode 003 - The Spirited Child Solution: How to Positively Transform an Angry Child

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 6 Dec 2006 07:53:00 -0800

Commonsense parenting tips that are fun, child-proofed and work to bring out kids' best!

In Episode 3 of the Ultimate Parent Podcast, Kelly Nault provides 7 parenting tips to help nurture the spark in your spirited child while celebrating his or her uniqueness.

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Episode Resources

Ultimate Parent
When You're About To Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids With You

Episode Credits

Voice Intro by Tom Matzen
Music by Farewell Redemption of the Podsafe Music Network

Next podcast - December 20, 2006

Episode 002 - Chores Made Easy: How Parents Can Get Their Kids Doing Their Chores

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 19:28:00 -0800

Commonsense parenting tips that are fun, child-proofed and work to bring out kids' best!

In Episode 2 of the Ultimate Parent Podcast, Kelly Nault talks about how you can get your children to do their chores without a huge fuss.

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Episode Resources

Ultimate Parent
When You're About To Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids With You

Episode Credits

Voice Intro by Tom Matzen
Music by Farewell Redemption of the Podsafe Music Network

Next podcast - December 6, 2006

Episode 001 - Working Mother Essentials: How to Prevent Parenting Burnout from Happening to You

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 8 Nov 2006 18:30:00 -0800

Commonsense parenting tips that are fun, child-proofed and work to bring out kids' best!

In Episode 1 of the Ultimate Parent Podcast, Kelly Nault shares tips on how you can have your cake and eat it too as a working mother.

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Episode Resources

Ultimate Parent
When You're About To Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids With You

Episode Credits

Voice Intro by Tom Matzen
Music by Farewell Redemption

Next podcast - November 22, 2006

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 23:04:00 -0700

The 10 Best Pieces of Pregnancy Advice

On the eve of my due date, I sit here at the computer unable to sleep. Between the baby moving in my belly, Braxton Hicks contractions spontaneously occurring (that often render me helpless like a beetle on it's back struggling to get up) and the enormous pressure in my pelvis that whisks me off to the toilet only to expel an unimpressive thimble full of pee every 15 minutes I reflect upon my pregnancy and the 10 best pieces of advice I received over the past nine months. So here they are:

1. Learn to love your belly. After experiencing months of shock at seeing my enormous belly reflected in store windows and mirrors AND unfairly comparing myself to non-pregnant women on the street, I finally came to love my belly in a photo shoot my also pregnant girlfriend gave to me as a gift (see picture above). The photographer was so glowing and so supportive that I finally began to see what other people saw me as--a beautiful pregnant woman.

2. Beg and borrow maternity clothes. Know matter how ugly and how big some of the maternity pieces at the time may seem accept them anyhow as you truly don't know how big you may get. Putting away my pre-pregnancy clothes once I grew out of them was also such a blessing as it took away the sting of seeing all my great clothes I could no longer fit into and limited my grieving the loss of my previous size.

3. Let go of your due date. Did you know only 4% of babies are born on their actual due date? Who knew! I sure didn't. But once I found this little piece of information out along with the statistic that it is perfectly normal for a baby to arrive anytime between your 37-42 weeks of pregnancy I let go of my due date altogether. This has taken off a lot of pressure I might have put on myself and the baby.

4. Learn to enjoy your admiring public. Although, I never had to deal with strangers wanting to touch my belly (like so many other pregnant women complain about) I was blown away by the comments, advice and genuine interest of total strangers. It was my husband who helped me to start having fun with my new celebrity status. For instance after being annoyed by numerous comments such as, "Looks like your due any time now!" my husband suggested I say things like, "Yup, any minute now!" or "Can you believe I'm not due for another 7 months!" Over time I also began to realize that for the most part the public just wanted to celebrate this milestone and the dawning of a new baby brings up fond memories for many.

5. Find a health care practitioner you love. For me I liked my doctor but after five women suggested I go with a midwife (that are completely covered by the government in our area) I made the appointment and checked it out. In addition to always being on time, all of my appointments are 45 minutes long in which I am encouraged to ask ALL my questions. PLUS once I found out that the current statistics of using a midwife show significantly lower c-section rates, episiotomy and forcep use I was hooked. My husband took a bit more convincing but once he realized that our midwife is registered with a ton of education, helped deliver hundred of babies, can prescribe everything a doctor can, can deliver in a hospital and makes free house calls for the first six weeks of our little one's life he was onboard too and we haven't looked back. It saddens me when I hear some of the pregnant women in my pre-natal exercise class bemoan the state of their care--with doctors they don't connect with, who may not give them the time they need to ask their questions and don't truly support them especially when their fears rise. It pays to get someone you like and change them if need be.

6. Listen and learn to trust your body. Surrendering to my cravings, to the need to sleep more (sometimes I would simply sit down to rest and find myself waking up two or more hours later!) and to what was truly best for me (like baths instead of more work) was a gift in itself. Sometimes I fought the needs of my body but always when I listened I felt better. Also, reading books like the Girlfriends Guide (for the humor and practicality) to fabulous hardcore midwifery books like Ina May's Guide To Pregnancy (my favorite) helped me to learn to trust my body more than ever before. These books (another good one was Birthing From Within) helped to dissolve many of my fears as I learned things like no matter how big your baby may be, for the most part all babies heads are around the same size and are designed by nature to make the journey through the birth canal.

7. Find other pregnant women and hang out with them. My pre-natal exercise class is the best thing I have done during this pregnancy. Not only am I getting fit but I found a sense of belongingness in which I could really let my belly hang out with the best of them. Whenever I began to pity myself (i.e. dealing with an especially nauseous day) I would find another pregnant women who was going through a tougher situation (like kidney stones or painful hemorrhoids) or a real trouper in class would say something and simply lift my spirits. Plus, by finding other pregnant women I saved my non-pregnant friends the hassle of listening to me share every play by play experience of my pregnancy which likely saved a few of my friendships. ;-)

8. Spend money only on the baby things that will make a difference and borrow and buy second hand the rest. Being reminded that our baby could care less about paint chips and decor (only about being cared for) and that he will rapidly grow out of any and all clothes fast helped put my priorities in order. So we only splurged on the stroller (as I am a huge walker), on a safe care seat and on a glider once I realized just how many hours a day I would be spending in a chair breast feeding. These were the three most important things for us. The rest we either borrowed or bought second hand and boy did we save a mint! By getting so many great deals from places like E-bay and by going to a local "mothers of multiples" sale I saved enough to put away for extra cleaning hours, and a special service to bring meals in during the first three months.

9. "Morning sickness" is an outright lie. I repeat morning sickness is a lie. It can happen at any hour of the day, all day somedays and although, unusual can even creep into the second or third trimester like it did with me.

10. Everyone's experience of pregnancy is different so take what is useful and ignore all the rest. There are so many variables (like my girlfriend who was never sick a day nor tired a day in her entire pregnancy) , so many experiences and so many people dishing out advice. By taking what was useful to me and letting go of all the rest I made it through the nine months with my humor intact and still feeling supported. What I have learned is that pregnancy for the most part is the great equalizer--if you don't get something on one end you'll likely get something on the other. Fortunately, whatever the experience most of us end up with a little bundle of joy that makes it all worth it.

So I am off to bed now to join my sleeping husband and my five bedtime pillows that have become like dear friends as they assist me in making it through the night. As I go off to sleep, I go with gratitude in my heart knowing that soon we will be welcoming a beautiful new addition into our family. This truly is the miracle of it all. Wouldn't you agree?

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 12:17:00 -0700

Can Working Mothers Have Their Cake and Eat it Too Without Parenting Burnout?

To focus on the family and put them first is as natural to mothers as breathing. To not focus on the family is rarely a choice for any mom—it’s simply a way of life. Not long ago “bringing home the bacon” was the father’s role but now working mothers are “bringing home the bacon” too.

Today, 50% of the mothers in our country (with children living at home) are working full time and most moms experience the stress of trying to balance it all especially when it comes to parenting. Sound familiar?

The Only Way Working Mothers Can Focus on the Family AND Have It All

Although working mothers bring home some of the bacon (and if you are a single mother all of the bacon), it hasn’t changed the fact that most working mothers are literally cooking the bacon too.

Probably no surprise to you, Dr Jody Heymann found that 80% of women report doing far more of the household chores than their spouse. In addition to taking on more chores, it is common for working mothers to put unrealistic expectations and pressures on themselves—to be the perfect mom, perfect spouse, perfect daughter, perfect friend, and perfect career woman too. Yes, many of us working moms have an invisible “S” tattooed on our bellies as we strive to be that unattainable Super Woman! Yet, sadly Super Woman can become super stressed.

When interviewed on the radio, I am often asked if it is possible for working mothers to have it all. My response is always, “YES! It is possible for working mothers to have it all BUT only if they ask for and accept help.”The trouble is most working mothers have difficulty doing this—asking for help.

Three Ways to Prevent Parenting Burnout for Working Mothers

Even though most moms know it take a village to raise a child, most mothers don’t ask their village for help. This puts undue stress on both moms and their families.Three simple ways working mothers can prevent parenting burnout:

1. Parenting is a big job. Get real you can’t do it all alone effectively. You can’t do it all (at least do it well) by yourself. Realize that the best thing you can do for your family is to ask for help. Burning your candle at both ends only leads to burnout parenting and this is not healthy for you nor for your family. Your family deserves a happy mom.

2. Graciously accept help. When someone asks if they can help you, always answer “yes” and then figure out how. Let others in your life, especially your children and spouse, help you more. We all want to contribute. By accepting help more you will actually be boosting your children’s and spouse’s self-esteem. Remember to thank them and focus on what they did well. Focusing on what they didn’t do well does not motivate our loved ones to want to help us again in the future.

3. Find ways to farm out the things you don’t like to do. Don’t like to iron? Consider sending them to the cleaner and use this extra time to focus on your family. Don’t like to clean but love to cook? Trade chores with household members or with a girlfriend who loves to do the things you don’t.

How Mothers Can Focus on the Family and Get Their Work Done

The day you die your inbox will have messages unanswered, your laundry hamper will still hold dirty clothes and your to do list will likely have items left incomplete. But on that day, will you look back and feel that your focus on the family was a fulfilling journey, or sadly realize it had become a chore you felt you had to do?

Make certain your focus on the family is satisfying by choosing to balance your work and family by finally hanging up your “Super Mom” cape and letting others help you. It is all about prioritizing—letting go of what truly doesn’t matter in the big picture and cherishing what truly matters to us—our loved ones, our hobbies, and the time we take to truly be present at work and at play.

To get assistance in the area of burnout take my free online parenting course for moms.

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 07:22:00 -0700

Food Fair Nightmare: Raising Your "Spirited Child" Without Going off the Parenting Deep End!

Over 200 pairs of eyes are glued to me as an eight year old, blind, spirited child swings his cane in the air and screams at the top of his lungs, "ORDER ME MY MEAL!"

In the public eye this is a pitiful scene of a caregiver/parent who is mistreating this "poor blind child." But to me this scene is one of being in a "food fair nightmare" struggling with a spirited child who has suddenly refused to order his McDonald's hamburger (as he has easily done before). When I calmly tell him he can either order or we'll go home without his burger, he goes completely berserk!

Stepping out of the radius his cane can reach I wait as public onlookers are stunned into complete silence as they wait to see who will win--will it be me or will it be him?

When It Comes to A Spirited Child Does Anyone Win?

Over the years as a family counselor, I have come to love working with spirited children. These kids have a fire in their belly, a spark in their eye and their feisty attitude can ensure they do not blindly follow the crowd in their teen years (a positive trait most parents hope for). The day in the food fare however, I was not at all inspired by this spirited child but instead exhausted, embarrassed and ready to say "I quit!"

Fortunately, I learned commonsense parenting tools that changed our lives forever and brought out the best in him and in me.

Here are five parenting tips that can peacefully guide you through the battles with a spirited child and can ultimately have you both win in the end:

1. Learn a commonsense approach to parenting. If you attempt to use traditional discipline practices and "make" your spirited child do the things you want you will face an uphill battle you can never win. This does not mean letting your child get away with murder! A commonsense approach to parenting uses firm boundaries, mutual respect and discipline that teaches children to learn from their mistakes.

2. Whatever you do use consistency! Follow through on EVERYTHING you say. Spirited children are gifted at manipulating "chances" and finding loop holes to get what they want. Hold your ground as calmly and firmly as possible. Consider talking less, and acting more. This works well because if you start debating with you spirited child you are certain to loose. This is why in my "food fare hell" example above I simply gave two options (ordering the hamburger or doing home without) and silently waited because as soon as I opened my mouth the negotiating would start, my anger would escalate and we would both loose.

3. Develop patience and humility. Waiting out a fight and not saying anything (especially if a temper tantrum occurs in public) can be one of the most difficult yet important things you can do. Spirited children are bright. They know that one of the most powerful negotiating tools they have is pushing your embarrassment button. Swallow your pride and do not cave in because you look bad in public. If you do, your child will know they can use this trump card in public anytime they want to get their way.

4. Take time outs for yourself. Parenting children is exhausting (especially a feisty one). Find ways of taking time out for yourself (share child care with a friend, hire a babysitter more, use extra hours at daycare) so you can come back refreshed and handle situations more calmly.

5. Use this struggle to better yourself. If parenting was easy there would be no incentive to improve ourselves. I am a far better person for having Graham, a "spirited child," in my life. Lori, a mom of two preschoolers and reader of my parenting book just emailed me about her "spirited 4 year old" and wisely shared:

"I have struggled with parenting...Of course, all of us parents do, but parenting a spirited child is not an easy task. Many of the conventional parenting books don't apply and don't work with my spirited child. I did not even realize how spirited my child was, until I experienced his intense, intense tantrums (when he was 2) and I was so exhausted at the end of the day, I just wanted to cry. Then I took a parenting course and found out that people with 'easy' kids (not that any child is really that easy...but just a little easier than mine), but anyways, people with easy kids don't often go to parenting classes. It is us parents with spirited children who go. And so I found people like me! It is with support like your parenting book and classes that I take, that does allow me to be an 'ultimate mom'...Thanks for your inspiration and help on my road to be as good a parent as my son thinks I am :)"

What Does the Future Hold For a Spirited Child?

In my case, my "food fare hell" ended and I was not sentenced to a life of "parenting purgatory." This same library quiet child who could suddenly erupt into award winning temper tantrums that brought me to my knees is now a 17 year old college student whose year ahead is completely paid by scholarships won. Just this past week, he has taken ownership of his own guide dog to help him live independently on campus. For me and him, we both won in the end.

In the midst of another fight with your spirited child, a parent can wonder if there can possibly be any end to the madness! I am here to tell you that you can find resolution to the drama you and your spirited child live with. Keep the faith, continue to learn commonsense parenting tips and remember that eventually if you follow the basic principles above "this too shall pass."

Wanting more parenting commonsense tips?

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 13:31:00 -0700

Mothering Me: The Secret to Stopping Time for Busy Moms

As I rush to make my massage appointment I reprimand myself for not allowing enough time to get there. Even in my hurriedness I see the irony in being stressed out while attempting to make my relaxing massage appointment.

Doubt creeps in my mind. Is it even worth the hassle to take time out for me?

The scent of lavender that wafts through my nose as I enter Le Petite Spa takes my doubt away. I am in the right place. Here I find an oasis for busy moms and moms-to-be. The process of de-stressing occurs as I slip on my spa robe and slippers. Suddenly my only big decision is water with lemon or water with cucumber.

As I sit in the candle lit relaxation room I wonder, "Now why don't I do this more?" My masseuse Andrew enters the room and my heart momentarily stops as I silently make a note to self to consider requesting a female masseuse when I am looking like a baby beluga whale at 7.5 months pregnant!

Yes, being a parenting educator and counselor does not exclude even me from the impact of the female ego. :-)

Yet, Andrew’s warmth and professional approach puts me at ease and soon has me forgetting all about the extra 26lbs of baby weight he will soon massage. The only request the masseuse makes of me is to breathe. So I inhale and exhale and hear my husband’s corny joke inside my head ("Denial is more than a river in Egypt") as I realize that my body is much more stressed and tense than I realized.

Half an hour into the massage, time seems to have stopped. The mental popup boxes of endless to do items that usually bombard my mind have vanished and I drift away.

The massage is over far too soon.

In an attempt to take this oasis experience home with me I purchase some lavender bath salts and decide to start taking candlelit baths again.

Later I walk through my front door carrying that timeless peacefulness with me. The mountain of papers on my desk, the heaps of laundry and the emails left unanswered no longer fill me with the same overwhelm they did only this morning.

Again I am reminded that lately I have not taken to heart the self care advice I so often give mothers. Smiling I read my own wisdom:

“Being a good mother means making and taking the time to mother yourself so you can mother them well.”

So this is my renewed promise: To do more of the things that re-energize me more, so I can take care of my family more in the way they so deserve.

How about you? Needing more mom self care?

Here's a link to an article written about the self-care philosophy for moms I write about in my book.

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 2 Aug 2006 13:25:00 -0700

Parenting SOS:
"My Biting Toddler is Biting the Dog and the Baby!"

Parenting Biting Question: Kelly my 1.5 year old has taken to biting both the dog and the baby. I've tried many things and have read many parenting books but am without a solution. What can I do? I am worried that he will either hurt our baby or the dog will hurt him. - Mom of Two Seeking Biting Solution

Parenting Solution to Biting:

When your sweet child has turned into your household vampire many a mom and dad are left at a loss of what to do. Biting is common in toddlers who are non-verbal and lack the words to express their frustration. Although biting is common, it does not mean you need to put up with the behavior and there are ways of making biting less appealing to your toddler.

Here are four effective parenting steps that can guide you toward a biting solution in your home:

1. Find your child's biting pay off. Ask yourself, "Why is my child biting?" For every negative misbehavior there is a powerful purpose--a pay off for children. Find your child's pay off and you will be pointed into the direction of the solution.

In my years of working with children, I would make an educated guess that one of the pay offs for your toddler's biting is he gets your attention. With a new baby needing so much of your attention (especially is you are breast feeding every couple of hours) your oldest now has to share your attention--something he never had to do before. A new sibling requires quite the adjustment for your first born who was used to having all your attention to himself.

When children aren't able get and keep their parents' attention positively they will settle for negative attention because some attention is better than none at all! And biting is a powerful hook to take your attention away from the baby and put it on your toddler instead. My guess is that this is just the thing he is looking for.

2. Remove the parenting hook. As parents we can never truly change our child's behavior--influence yes--but change no. Children only change when they ultimately want to and it serves a purpose. The good news is that by changing our behavior and our reaction to theirs we can experience positive change.

Ask yourself, "What can I do to change my reaction to the biting?" My suggestion is to use a neutral reaction when dealing with biting. Friend and parenting colleague Char Wenc suggests you use the same tone you would with the drycleaner (polite but not overly engaged). Say matter of factly once and once only, "Biting is not allowed." Quickly hug your child and remove them from the room OR remove the baby or dog and go about your business. Turn your back on them if need be but do not become engaged with them (other than the quick hug) at this time.

3. Discourage biting by consistently acting and follow through. Make certain you are not raising your voice, lecturing, yelling or biting back in any way. Any aggressiveness on your part will only model for your toddler that this is appropriate behavior. Each time he bites respond in the non-chalant manner recommended in step two and follow through each and every time.

4. Prevent biting behavior by giving your child what they really want and need. A little of your positive attention can go a long way. With the demands of a new baby it can be next to impossible to carve out extra time to spend 1-1 with your toddler and yet, if you don't give it to him, he will continue to demand it with negative behavior. Ellict the help of your husband, family or friends to spend time with the baby so you can spend a little more happy play time with your toddler. Last but not least, when you see your toddler being gentle with the baby and dog notice this by saying something like, "Look at how the baby loves to be touched by you when you are gentle."

Biting is an unfortunate solution many toddlers have found to hook their parents into giving them attention. If parents change their tune by not giving much attention when toddlers demand it, and instead give their attention when their child is doing things they appreciate, we will soon find that biting is reserved for favortie crackers only!

If you have not yet signed up for the free online parenting course do so today so you can give your children more of what they want and need.

(Toddler biting picture above with thanks from www.millville.org)

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Mon, 24 Jul 2006 23:07:00 -0700

Mr. Mom: Are Dads Helping Out More?

When it comes to chores do you have a helpful dad who pitches in? According to 2005 statistics, dads are more involved than ever before...but is it happening in your home?

Polling some of the moms on my online free parenting course Mommy Moments, many say they still feel the household chores and day to day organization rests heavily on their shoulders.

So Are Dads Really Helping Out More With Household Chores and Childcare?

This past week I gave a parenting interview live on radio about dads, chores and childcare as a new statistic Canada report stated the following:

Men are spending 2.5 hours per day on average on unpaid work/chores around the house in 2005, up from 2.1 hours in 1986.
Fathers reported spending about an hour a day on child care in 2005; mothers reported two hours. Both numbers were up from 1986, indicating parents are spending more time with their children even though they are also working longer hours.

Although, many dads seem to be helping out more, on average moms are carrying more of the load.

Could Moms' Perfectionism Prevent Dads From Helping Out?

Fortunately, I am blessed with a very helpful husband. Yet, what I have noticed is: What might be dirty to mom, may be perfectly acceptable to dad (or to the kids).

Running out the door two weeks ago, I left the kitchen a mess. Upon returning, the dishes were magically done and everything was put away. Elves? No, my husband surprised me. What was my immediate reaction? Gratitude. But upon closer inspection I couldn't help but see all the crumbs and dirty sink that was left behind. Fortunately, I knew well enough to keep my mouth shut and thank him for all he DID do and for all the time he saved me.

Nagging, I have learned the hard way, only prevents husbands, children and even friends from wanting to help out in the future. Yet, still my perfectionism sometimes gets in the way and I sometimes sadly sabotage a very well meaning gesture.

How To Inspire Dads and Kids to Want to Help!

Here are the household rules that bring out our loved ones best that I do my best to live up to:

1. Notice what you like far more than what you don't like!

2. Show your thanks and appreciation with words and hugs.

3. Ask politely and directly rather than deman, nag or tell.

Finally, sometimes I have learned that letting the little things go like crumbs can go a long way to a peaceful home.

******************************************************************

Click to listen to the live interview I gave on the subject of dads helping out with chores and childcare.

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 12:10:00 -0700

One Mom's Parenting Struggle: From Apple Cores to Discipline That Works!

"My daughter Samantha is incredible and I love her so much...yet, she drives me absolutely crazy!" says teary-eyed mom who is struggling with a 9 year old going on 48. "She fights me on everything...from reading to cleaning up her room to putting her darn apple cores in the garbage!"

Five minutes ago this mom was a stranger to me (an anonymous woman among 1800 at a women's conference in Dallas, Texas). Yet once she found out I am the author of the book, "When You're About To Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids With You" out pours her dam of parenting frustrations and mommy-guilt. She feels alone, believes there is no hope; yet, I know there is.

Hundreds of thousands of moms encounter power struggles that make them weep. The hope? Well... that lies in the realization that:

"If you care about any issue more than your child you've got an uphill battle you will never win. The only way to make your child see your point and gain her full support is when you find your child's buy in--the what's in it for me!"

- Kelly Nault, MA, Award Winning Parenting Author and Founder of Ultimate Parent

Samantha's mom looks at me bewildered and asks, "But how can I find her 'buy in' with something like putting her apple cores in the garbage instead of leaving them all over the house? I've asked her a hundred time to do this!"

"So stop asking, and start doing! If you carefully follow my simple instructions your apple core dilemma will be solved in a matter of less than two weeks."

Here's what I shared:

"Simply and kindly tell Samantha that you are tired of picking up apple cores and from now on if you find any apple cores lying around the house you will not buy apples the next time you go to the grocery store."

"Let her know you will be happy to try it again the next time you go to the store, but if she chooses to leave apple cores lying around the house you will not buy apples next time. The key to your success is to not mention or point out the apple cores when you see them. Instead of nagging, just throw them out and do not buy apples during your next grocery run."

"If she makes a fuss when she sees no apples, smile at her kindly and say something like, I'm happy to buy apples next time I go to the store and if you choose to throw them out in the garbage I will happily continue buying apples for you."

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 10:59:00 -0700

What Does Parenting Have to do with Tires?

Do you ever worry that you are not getting enough quality time with your kids? If you do you are not alone!

Last month I was hired as the parenting and media spokesperson for Fountain Tire (49% owned by Good Year Tire) to help roll out their 50th Celebration "Gift of Time Campaign" as a way of saying thank you to their cutomers. The campaign included surveying 1662 parents to discover what there inner most thoughts were on getting (or not getting!) quality time with their kids, creating 10 quality time parenting tips (that I get to share with you now!) and then going on media tour to share the news with over 1.6 million Canadians.

The parenting survey results on quality time are below.

See if you agree or disagree with these parents concerns:

46% of parents report feeling guilty when they spend time alone, "because I think I should be with my family and child."
76% of parents agreed with the statement, "If I could change one thing about my life , it would be that I could spend more quality time with my child."
68% of parents feel they are "burned out" by their busy schedule

If you are at all concerned about getting more quality time with your kids read my parenting tips article on quality time with kids OR listen to my recent radio parenting interview on this very subject.

kelly@ultimateparent.com (Kelly Nault) — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 10:07:00 -0700

Kelly Nault's Disappearance:
Pregnancy and Nausea and a Dose of Humility!

Green was never my best color and after months of nausea 24/7 it certainly hasn't become a color I enjoy.

It has now been over five months of feeling stranded out at sea wretching over the side of the boat with no shoreline in sight. Yes, Kelly Nault is pregnant and there have been many moments when I wonder how something so beautiful like bringing a new life into this world can start out so ugly.

Many moms have told me that pregnancy is the great equalizer--if you don't get it on one end you'll get it on the other. Well, I believe I have paid my dues.

So as I helplessly watch my emails pile up and leave my to do lists unchecked I realize that mother nature is preparing me to re-prioritize and to chill out a while.

The thing is I don't want to chill out a while!!! I want to be productive, to get things done and to be that Super Woman I know I can be. Yes, even a recovering Super Woman like me has her relapses!

So I pout, I whine and I cry like a baby. Why? Because I am not in control and I am definitely not getting my way!

My biggest pity party came when my husband found me pruned up in the bath (I was in there for 2 hrs) having a hormonal breakdown saying things like:

"Just so you know I don't think I will EVER want to have sex again!"
"We are definitely adopting next time!"
"From now on there is a ban on ANY cooking as smell makes me sick. Cracker diet only!"
"YOUR baby just won't fit in my uterus." (As I point to my belly)
"I am just not good at being pregnant."

Yes, this was my low of lows. Quite pathetic I know, but female hormones can look pathetic.

Finally, I surrendered to the couch potato lifestyle and sadly, realized the world can (quite happily) go on without me. This dose of humility put me in my place and took the pressure away. And the more I surrender to "what is" and accept "what is"... the easier it all becomes.

Then suddenly land appears and I have my energy back! Yeah! My pregnancy nausea sea legs still trip me up from time to time but now as the baby starts to kick (and even hiccup in the womb) I find myself happy once again. :-)

If you have been wondering where Kelly Nault disappeared to now you know. The good news? In the next few months there will be more parenting resources added to the http://www.ultimateparenting.com site including many of my radio parenting interviews you can listen to for free and gain more practical parenting tips.