Unconfirmed Sources

Sheriff Joe Arpaio Denied Racial Profiling

Embattled Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio vehemently denied today that his department engages in racial profiling because he profiles everyone regardless of race, country of origin, sexual orientation or political preference.

John Roberts: I'm Sorry I Said That

When he was first nominated to head the Supreme Court by the then leader of our nation, George W. Bush, I wrote the following piece on Chief Justice John Roberts. In light of his recent vote on The Affordable Care Act, (Obamacare), I'd like to apologize for saying the following:

SCOTUS Immigration Law Decision Inadvertently Gives Entire State Of Arizona To Cesar Millan

The Supreme Court of the United States, has issued their ruling on Arizona's controversial tough immigration law. But in addition to striking down most of the law's key provisions, also included waaay in the back, was a little surprise- Arizona is no longer a part of the United States. In fact, it now belongs to television's iconic "Dog Whisperer", Cesar Millan.

OMG, It's An Election Year!

Okay, I admit it- I've been busy and haven't really been paying attention. But I woke up this morning and realized, 'Jeez, it's 2012! That means there must be an election coming up.' Funny how these things sneak up on you. For those of you who, like me, haven't noticed, it goes like this- apparently Barack Obama is still our president and some guy named Mitt Romney wants to take his place. I hadn't heard till just now. That's what comes from not watching TV. Like I say, I've been busy, okay? So, as a public service for people like me, I'll recap the last twelve or so years in order for you to make a well-informed choice at the polls in November:

Obama Admits; Private Sector Sucks

Just hours after saying the private sector is "doing fine" President Obama admitted that the private sector actually sucks and most people are forced to "bite the big one".

Michigan Man Unimpressed By Venus Transit of the Sun

Elroy Jenkins a 32 year old Midland, Michigan construction worker, claims that the remarkable transit of the sun by the planet Venus did not impress him at all.

Trump Pad Tablet set to take on Apple iPad

(New York:New York) Ucs News : Donald Trump is hoping to chip away at Apple's dominance in the tablet market with the launch of its Bloviating Ignoramus A500, set to hit Best Buy shelves on July 24. The eloquently named tablet will under cut the iPad's price with a starting price of US$449.99, and will run Google's Android 3.0 operating system.

Trump wins trademark law suit, The Donald claims "Bloviating Ignoramus"

(New York:New York) Ucs News : This week it was revealed that Donald Trump has added the words Bloviating Ignoramus to the more than 200 trademark applications that contain his own name. The 200-plus number is held up as an example of his greed; his need to increase the value of his name (claimed to be $3 billion) by attaching it to "every kind of product imaginable, from hotels to perfume to a vanity beer label."
A search on the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office website shows the good, the bad, and the ugly:

Romney Blasts Obama Jobs Number "more Proof wealthy Americans need to pay lower taxes!"

Boston: Mass (Ucs News) IN a fiery campaign speech Mitt Romney seized on the weak employment numbers to attack President Obama's economic plan. "The wealthiest Americans are not doing their fair share to boost the economy. They need lower taxes!" Stated Romney.

Romney Campaign Plans Pre-Election Military Strike Against Iran

(San Diego) Ucs News- The Romney Campaign released the Governors plan for a pre-election Air strike and limited ground invasion of Iran. The plans include the list of private contractors, targets and detailed time line for the ambitions October strike. Speaking at a Memorial Day event at a veterans museum in San Diego, Romney made the announcement.

"If The President won't lead our military into Iran...I will" said Romney.