Unconfirmed Sources

Sarah Palin Blasts Out Going Governor of Alaska

Alaska (Ucs News) Alaska Republican Sarah Palin issued a surprisingly harsh statement late on Friday, ripping the former Governor of Alaska's
decision to leave office at the end of the month. "I am deeply disappointed that the Governor has decided to abandon the State and her constituents before her term has concluded," Sarah Palin said.

Sarah Palin: Role Model? The answer is more than just a punch line.

(New York-NY) For my loyal readers, all five, you're used to my point of view clothed in the satire of news parody. Not exactly "The Onion", but at times I like to think they come to the level of a scallion, perhaps a leek. But something happened this weekend that simply forced me to come out from behind the parody. An event so seismic that I'm convinced like Jennifer Lopez's red carpet Grammy "the dress" Sarah Palin's resignation speech will be known to posterity (Yeah, I know I'm making a big assumption that soon to be ex-Governor Palin will have a legacy.) simply as "the speech".

Sarah Palin Resigns as Alaska Governor to Become Stay At Home Mom

Fed up with politics and tired of seeing her kids getting involved with the wrong crowd, Sarah Palin announced today that she will resign as Alaska Governor and devote all her time and energy to performing her "wifely duties".

Billy Mays Inks Deal to Represent Jesus Christ

Tampa,Florida (Ucs News) The Late TV pitch man Billy Mays has signed a 300 year contract to represent the lord our savor Jesus Christ. According sources in heaven the terms include the rights to the Oxy-clean trademark in the afterlife and salvation in exchange for promoting "Christian values" and ethical behavior.

Three Americans killed while filming Japanese Game Show

Tokyo (Japan) Ucs News: In a shocking tragedy 3 American contestants lost their lives in a spectacular accident while filming the popular Japanese game show "I survived a Japanese game show". According to accident investigators "They didn't"

Michael Jackson's Critics Celebrate Death of Pop Icon

ARLINGTON(Texas) Ucs News: While millions of his loyal fans mourn the tragic loss of Pop Icon Michael Jackson some in Texas have found reason to celebrate. "We are not really big fans of his music, down here we enjoy country music. And it was hard to watch the girls go crazy for the little fruit cake " says Texan Bruce Canyon.

TV Pitchman Billy Mays Died His Hair, According to Autopsy Results

Doctors performing an autopsy on recently deceased TV pitchman Billy Mays revealed that the 50-year-old, bearded, jet-black-haired spokespersons well-coiffed locks were actually dyed.

South Carolina Man Couldn't Care Less About Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett or Mark Sanford

Gabe Jenkins, a 45-year-old South Carolina truck driver, claimed he really has no interest in the stories surrounding the deaths of Michael Jackson or Farrah Fawcett or the marital infidelities of South Carolina governor Mark Sanford.

Mark Sanford and Eliot Spitzer To Form Bi-Partisan Independent Party

(New York-NY) At a press conference held today at New York's Saint Regis hotel, former New York State Governor Eliot Spitzer and South Carolina State Governor Mark Sanford announced that they would be forming an independent party. Or as former Governor Spitzer put it "we plan on putting the 'party' back in political party."

Mark Sanford denies allegations of being a politician

COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA -- Mark Sanford, board member of the American Adulterers Association, held a press conference to deny rumors that he is a politician.