uncouth american

Let's all skip to In The City

2009-10-15T20:22:00.008+01:00

In standard uncouth american fashion I have woefully neglected my blog for the summer, preferring instead to do things like talk to people in person. And perhaps get a drink. And go on vacation to Scotland with my parents. I even managed to have regular contact with, let's call him, a 'man', and now am happily skipping along in what is commonly referred to as a 'relationship'. Look at me being

sleepyhead

2009-07-10T11:22:00.002+01:00

I managed to catch the brilliant Run Toto Run last night as part of the Manchester International Festival. Check out their gorgeous version of Passion Pit's Sleepyhead!Last night they had a whole string section joining in for this song and others, I really can't describe how good it was, and: party poppers were involved. Also. I want more bands dressed as fairies. Bands, please make a note.Run

A birthday present

2009-07-08T20:56:00.001+01:00

Diana, she liesuncouth and superfoxysoft curves, my altar

new beginnings

2009-04-29T00:02:00.002+01:00

I have finished a story. And submitted it to a place. A literary type journal thing. Stay tuned. I'm sure it will be rejected any day now.I'm going to Portmeirion this weekend. I'm very excited to see the place where The Prisoner was filmed. I think everyone has been to Portmeirion except me.Lately I have been very adept at offending people. If you would like to be offended and therefore not have

manchester moon

2009-03-11T22:19:00.001Z

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Mmmm Alex with no trousers....

2009-03-08T21:10:00.007Z

Alex Kapranos of Franz Ferdinand fame has weakened the knees of ladies everywhere by admitting to a group trouser peeling-off session after every gig [check the comments]. Tight trousers and the resulting perspiration from jumping around under hot stage lights can't possibly be an appetizing combination, but I'm a giver. Alex: if you ever need help peeling off your trousers, do give me a call.I

DONK

2009-03-07T16:18:00.004Z

A blurb before I tackle the Kitchen of Doom. There's a really interesting documentary series about DONK posted on vbs.tv -- click here my peeps.If you don't know, DONK is '150 bpm hardcore rave music', originating from Bolton*. I would rather eat my hair than listen to it for more than 20 seconds, but the documentary is really interesting in terms of how music scenes originate.I love how the kidz

night of the ting

2009-03-02T20:21:00.004Z

Friends, on my latest manotastrope:You need to block this asshole. Wash him out of your hair. Just tell him to fuck off.I'm not sure to give points for straightforward honesty or just kick him in the tenders on general principle. I think kicking is in order. A 4am text is not even a Z game. Do you have a boot preference? Steel-toe, spiked, ... etc?Men are rubbish. Texting is rubbish. Men +

The neighborhood

2009-03-01T06:34:00.001Z

Has gone downhill

would you like me to take your picture, hmmmm?

2009-02-23T22:14:00.002Z

I need to shoot a series for my photography class. I would like to do a set of portraits of bloggers. In my head they will be styled....perhaps Leibowitzy-like, but much sillier. I have some bloggers in mind to approach, but if you are a blogger and wouldn't mind helping me out then please do get in touch:dsteinway (at) yahoo.comDon't be shy now! I promise it will be a fun experience and you'll

the weekend

2009-02-22T20:14:00.006Z

There was a girl named Natalie at the Deaf Institute on Friday. Leon knew her. She had black hair, wore dark red lipstick and did not smell fresh as a daisy. She wanted to know why Mark wasn't drinking. I'm on tablets at the moment, he said. I don't have cunt cancer, she replied. She is no longer Natalie. She is The Cunt Cancer Lady.+++++++++++++++We drove to Matlock for no other reason that to

I am

2009-02-14T22:27:00.001Z

kloot

Internet dating messages I have received, no. 5

2009-02-09T20:21:00.005Z

I feel slightly guilty posting this. Only slightly. I think maybe he's a sweet person. But his message is also stinking of desperation and I'm nearly positive he's cut, pasted and sent this monstrosity to any girl in a 20-mile radius (sooo flattering). Abuse of exclamation mark is one of my pet hates, not to mention he's calling himself The Mermaid. If you are a man who likes woman parts, then

15 ways to let your love flow on valentine's day

2009-02-08T00:03:00.005Z

with a barclaycard...with photos from your recent camping trip...with an abuse of cliched imagery and clip art...with some 1970s-style germans...with a japanese karoake singer and the video function on your mobile phone...with cartoon horses...with a robotic german remix...with reggae...with loretta lynn and crystal gayle...with that japanese guy again and a few embarrassed strangers...with ardie

Gideon freebie

2009-02-06T19:19:00.005Z

My favorite ball of cheerfulness, Gideon Conn, is playing a free gig tomorrow night at The Green Room in Manchester. The lineup includes Dr Butler's Hatstand Medicine Band and The Jessie Rose Trip and others....Don't forget: it's FREE! Like a freeway. And a freebie. And a freebird. And freestanding. And FREE. We like the free.

My room

2009-02-05T10:35:00.001Z

Needs specialist help.

Re: more words of wisdom (or, email from G because he said I could post it)

2009-02-04T21:59:00.005Z

I'm so grateful to have a loyal male friend who's ready and willing to pump up my ego when needed. As to whom G is referring....does it matter? Funny is funny.Why, why, why, why, WHY are these morons not bringing their "A" game for you? I am so sorry that the Crap Boy Brigade is wasting your time. It boggles my mind that they are not doing a better job with you and you definitely do not need to

Backtracking to Chinese New Year, the Shebeats, Air Cav

2009-02-03T21:18:00.006Z

I want to say: Look at this nifty piccy I took of Manchester Town Hall! Love it! But really it was Danny the Date who saw and captured. The square was decorated for Chinese New Year and I like the way the lanterns are magically floating. And that they're red and bright and cheerful and the clock is Mister Gloomy Woomy Gothic, don't try to cheer me up, DON'T EVEN TRY IT.Warning: these are not real

Snowy snowy day, now it's all gone away

2009-02-03T10:57:00.004Z

I call this one Arty Black n White Shot of Piccadilly GardensI call this one City TowerI don't have a name for this one, but it's another view of the blizzard at Piccadilly Gardens.Hi, I'm quintessentially English.

The wisdom of jono.

2009-01-30T10:51:00.003Z

Jono, on divorce:Bit shit reallyOn McDonald's cheeseburgers:Bit shit reallyOn that guy who didn't call me back:Bit shit reallyOn tea with no sugar:Bit shit reallyOn running out of cigarettes:Bit shit reallyOn the US war with Iraq:Bit shit reallyOn non-white bread:Bit shit really

email from my 11-year-old niece = brilliant

2009-01-29T21:17:00.000Z

Yeah she did. His step dad killed her. It was on the news because she died.What kinda job?No good lookin' fellows huh? She's trying to hook you up on a date? That's strange! She probally going to hook you up with some really old dude that has yucky gray hair! lolLove yah

Quote of the day

2009-01-29T12:00:00.006Z

"I do have intense feelings for her. I feel intensely indifferent."(my mate, contemplating his girlfriend)

I am on fire!

2009-01-28T17:04:00.006Z

Today I won another book from another author: Light Boxes, by Shane Jones. You can watch the draw here if you are so inclined. If you watch it, you might wonder why Mr Jones predicts that I will not like his book. I do not know either. But! I thought it funny, in a rude sort of way.I wonder if Shane Jones knows he shares his surname with 13.84% of Welsh people. If I knew Shane Jones personally,

25 (with apologies to those on facebook)

2009-01-26T20:55:00.002Z

I was tagged on facebook over the weekend to write 25 things about myself and to tag 25 more people. Hard Work.Here is the list because I typed it out goddammit and it's getting put whereever I can put it. I removed 13 on purpose because it's about someone semi-famous, and I don't want any karma issues related to the story. Of course all my facebook friends know the story now so is that any

Writing test.

2009-01-22T17:59:00.002Z

This is a challenging role in support of other people with more experience than you. Positive and proactive, you will possess a creative flair along with an inquisitive mind, but be willing to do whatever demeaning task we ask of you. Excellent communication and a good eye for detail are essential.In order for us to gain a full understanding of your writing skills, please complete the following